#esp regarding places it can get muddy i.e. inviting people into the au.

[longlostretribution]

OOC PSA: Personal Boundaries

So, it’s come to my attention that I need to set up some ground rules for my own comfort. I hate that it’s come to this but I really need to let everyone know where I stand OOC for my own comfort, because the less comfortable I am, the less content I’ll produce (and I do not want to completely drop LLR just because of some run-ins with personal ooc issues like I have other projects). So. I’m going to be blunt and kind of painful about it but I need to get this out there.

Some of these are boundaries that have been recently and repeatedly breached and others are things I’ve learned that need to be clarified from other projects I run. I’m being as blunt and clear-cut as I can be, but if you need more clarification, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m not trying to single anyone out with these, but it’s been a month and a half or so of varied little/big boundary breaches and I need to draw the line in the sand before something bad happens.

Buckle up lads, this is gonna be long.

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TL;DR:

I’m not here to make quick friends, I am not here to play therapist or be your creative mentor/sounding board. I am here to write, to draw, to roleplay, and to explore character building with other creatives that I MIGHT get to know in the future.

I’m not very talkative OOC. Don’t feel insulted if we don’t talk every day, bc I physically cannot keep up with that kind of thing.

Don’t call me senpai, smol bean, or treat me like an idol. I’m a person. I don’t like being idolized like an unapproachable celebrity or made out to be a “cutsey wootsey” baby. I’m an adult.

Don’t just befriend me for free artwork. That’s rude and will earn you a permanent block.

Don’t dish out what you can’t take back. Don’t threaten my characters without expecting consequence, and don’t antagonize them without letting me know you’re going to first (the exception is if I approach a muse who very clearly has their antagonistic nature stated in their rules/about page, i,e, a clear-cut or well-known villain character).

I won’t use your work without permission from you directly. I will always try to approach you OOC first for permission to use your content or reference our mutual threads in the AU, canon or not.

Inviting you into my AU doesn’t mean you can use my concepts for yourself or that you have permission to create content for my AU without my permission. I enjoy adding people’s threads as little side-lines, but I’m still writing the AU myself (or with Finn for resET) and prefer strict control over what is/n’t a part of it.

I don’t appreciate people leaking/sharing spoilers I might share in private, even with their close friends. Please don’t be that person.

I don’t feel comfortable with people using my characters/work (including rping them). I know it’s popular to RP from active AUs, but please don’t do that with mine - especially my OCs.

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The long detailed list (with more accurate info):

One: I am not your friend, your bestie, or interested in getting close to you unless we take the time to get to know each other, and that won’t happen with everyone. I get that I come off as a friendly and easy to talk to (so I’m told). And that’s what I like to be! I like to be conversational with people when I can, but that’s what you do when you’re a stranger. You assume that sort of “professionalism” with people before actually getting comfortable with them and letting those barriers down. Friendship takes time, especially for me. I don’t like making close friends quickly, and I don’t make friends in general very easily, and I like keeping it that way. It’s nothing against you as a person, I’m sure you’re a great person! I am just too old and too tired/jaded with what I’ve gone through with people both in real life and ESPECIALLY in the tumblr RPC that I CANNOT and WILL NOT make friends quickly. If you cannot respect this, I will not hesitate to cut you off completely.

Addendum: Along those lines: Unless we’ve already MUTUALLY established friendship, please treat our relationship with a sense of professionalism. This means don’t try to buddy-buddy me or expect me to be friendly beyond common courtesy, respect my boundaries as an individual person, and don’t take my common courtesy and friendliness as a sign I’m being “super close friends” with you. Treat me like a stranger - which I AM - and don’t get too personal too fast. As cruel as this sounds, I don’t want to hear about your personal life; I’m not here to play therapist nor am I here to be a shoulder for you to cry on. I’ve not been entirely professional myself I realize, which is going to change from now on. I don’t want to give mixed signals or lead anyone on with my friendliness. I want to maintain professional distance. I’m not going to “click” with everyone I meet nor will you and I necessarily actually hit it off beyond that distance. That’s just life. It doesn’t mean I hate you, it simply means we’re human and don’t get along perfectly.

Two: The Senpai Rule. It’s in my rules for a reason. Please read it.

Three: I am not your design mentor, art resource, or your permanent sounding board. I am willing to OCCASIONALLY look over art for critiques/red lines, find resources, and I am OCCASIONALLY willing to help you with your oc/world building, but I am NOT interested in fully helping you with your design creation or being your world building “buddy” unless I’ve come to know you for some time. I am NOT JUST a sounding board for ideas. If I invite you to share with me or we click very well and just seem to get those creative juices flowing together, that’s different, but IN GENERAL, please don’t only use me for your own world building or growth.

Four: I cannot talk to you every single day, even if we are friends. I am busy, I have mental health issues that make it hard to talk even to my close friends every single day. I am a full time caregiver for my senior mother and I am a full-time artist. I simply CANNOT be there to talk to you every day. I don’t like getting messages every single day, either, unless you already understand that sometimes I won’t reply to them / will take time in getting to them. If I tell you I have no energy to reply, don’t bother me about it. I will not hesitate to stop talking to you entirely if I have to just to get some peace of mind.

Five: I occasionally make art for friends, but I am not a free art/request machine. I don’t often make art for people I care about anymore because people don’t seem to understand that my free time = MY time I can spend making for other people IF I WANT TO. I am not some machine you can put friendship coins into just to get free art out of. If you are befriending me to get art from me or get written into my AUs/stories, get lost. 

Six: If your muse threatens, belittles, irritates, or otherwise bothers my characters, my characters will react accordingly. It doesn’t matter if their background is what causes this, or their mental health, or their trauma, or just that they’re a mean ol’ fucker who hates people. If a random stranger walked up to you and said “go fuck yourself,” would you respond by saying “oh, it’s ok! I know you deal with x y z, so I’m not offended!”? No. So don’t expect my characters to react that way. Mental health and trauma are NOT excuses or get-out-of-jail-free cards. Likewise, I OOCly do not like when people insult, attack, or threaten my characters without prompting, ESPECIALLY upon first reactions (unless it’s clearly stated in your about or rules that your character will behave as such), so please don’t do it. There’s a difference between me knowing what I’m getting into and me being approached with such animosity, even IC-based, without prompting.

Seven: Even though I get excited and I AM inviting other people to play in on LLR, LLR is my project (and resET is mostly Finn’s project) and we will do with them as we please. I won’t use any kind of design/fan art/graphic/etc anyone else has made for me/the project without their (usually written bc it’s all text online) permission and without crediting them, but it is ultimately up to ME what does and does not appear in the AU/blog/etc. I will always try and approach someone OOC for their direct permission if I want to use their work/reference our threads/etc if I feel they’d work well with the AU.

Addendum: Inviting you into the AU does not give you creative license over the characters/storyline, it does not give you permission to use my work without asking me first, and it does not mean you are a conceptual partner of mine. I don’t mind ideas being tossed my way for threads or concepts you’d like to write with my characters, though they might not be considered canon unless I ask or I list them on the blog page.

Eight: Kind of obvious but it’ll probably need to be said anyways: If we’re friends/I’m close enough to share spoilers with you, PLEASE DON’T SHARE THEM TO ANYONE. Even your own friends. There’s exceptions to this rule (namely those I’ve known for years/am super close with and know well already), but in general? PLEASE don’t share my secrets. That spoils the fun and makes me less interested in actually posting anything.

Nine: I’ve stated this in my long list of rules, but: please don’t roleplay any of my AU characters, especially my OCs. I’m already roleplaying them and I’m not comfortable in seeing doubles. Especially my OCs because??? Don’t rp other people’s OCs lmao that’s just bizarre and kind of akin to stealing them? Anyways I just need to reiterate that because I know that’s kind of how AUs work on tumblr so. HEADS UP THAT I DON’T LIKE THE THOUGHT OF PEOPLE RPING MY OWN CHARACTERS (ESP WITHOUT MY DIRECT PERMISSION).

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That’s all for now! Thank you for understanding and I appreciate all your patience with me as I take my time to make this AU the best I can!