#esp cuz for my second exam I was like breaking down every other week and still I pushed through | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clarabowmp3 · 1 month

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Your right the icdiwabh performance at tour is weird. She's the one pushing herself out there even if her heart is broken, twice over. I never liked that part of the show. It would have been really empowering to her get up by herself and do the song.

THANK YOUUU SOMEONE GETS IT I thought I was missing smth when everyone was gushing over what an interesting bit that is???

It also feels weird when some ppl try to weave fans into the narrative, like it’s because of us cheering her on every night that she can get through the heartbreak. Like okay maybe that’s true, based on the Miss Americana documentary and how (somewhat) attached she is to the fanbase, but sometimes (like in this context) it seems unhealthy to me and not rlly smth we should be celebrating or glorifying. On one end, it’s not good to rely on complete strangers for intimate emotional support, and on the other end sentiments like these contribute to toxic parasocial relationships.

#the entire charm of listening to that song to me is the isolation factor of the msg!!!#like (ok getting personal now) for me I felt sooo alone during the 2 biggest exams of my life #and I was reeling from a bad falling out with my best friend (like we haven’t even talked since then and we used to talk every. single. day)#and it was so painful to get up every day when I felt so lost and shattered which led to me (albeit somewhat unheathiky) pouring myself into #studying #like I would push my feelings to the side and be like no way anyone’s getting in the way of me pursuing MY goals #life’s tough but IM tougher yk #and I did it!!!! perfect scores in both exams!!!!!!!! and I did it ON. MY. OWN.#with a broken heart!!!!!!#so yea that makes icdiwabh such a cathartic and validating song for me #esp cuz for my second exam I was like breaking down every other week and still I pushed through #I was sobbing in class AND getting As! I cry a lot AND I am so produtive!!#whjdkxmskdl ok im done heheh #ask #anon #discourse #I can do it with a broken heart #icdiwabh

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