#esp after last sem when i called an entire class out on their prejudices and their double standard racism and their inability to be
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anyone else ever feel like they're constantly falling behind and no matter how hard you try you will never be able to catch up :/
#like#im so so tired and fking exhuasted of constantly trying to catch up to everyone else my age#uni has started again#and it was fine last year becuz everyone was online and ppl were less social#then over the summer everyone made new friends and socialized and got internships and were working and going out and doing thingss#while my dumbass decided to take a mental break instead of doing all those things#and now everything's back in motion. i still find it so so so difficult to do any of those things. i still suck at socializing#i suck at making friends or joining new activities or participating in things and its not becuz im not smart. i know i amto an extent#i just have so much anxiety and its so scary to sit in a class and wonder if someone is gonna pick u to do a grp proj with#esp after last sem when i called an entire class out on their prejudices and their double standard racism and their inability to be#accommodating to the minority group of students#and now im in tears 10 mins before my next class in the middle of the fucking day. its 2 pm ish. becuz I'm scared im never gonna be able to#catch up to everyone else. I'll never be as active I'll never be as social I'll never be enough and all my worst nightmare is coming true#but i know when i do get the opportunity to teach in the future. I'll be the best i can be. but its so so fucking hard to not be a#NT person. and its even harder when ur adhd is diagnosed but untreated#and im trying. so so fucking hard to just keep up and i keep failing to do things everyone else is able to do#and i keep beating myself up over it. FUCK.#anyways. i have class. ty tags for listening to me rant and have a lil sob.#hopefully things will be okay and i won't go into a depressive episode in the start of sem🥰#that was such a relieving crying session lmaoo
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