#es and someone else planning to get braces is worried. for good reason

[veggiesandwichpana]

day 2 to 7 after first getting braces are the most painful apparently. and I got my braces the day just before new years.

and period cycle thing decided to appear too.

so the first 6 days of 2025 are going to be pure pain. wonderful. what a way to start the pacific rim year

happy new year! (it already 2025 somewhere)

[inawickedlittletown]

I’m With You (18/22)

Summary:

Having a crush was nothing to be ashamed of…lying to the family and friends of said crush about being the guy’s boyfriend, that was a whole other problem. When Buck saves the life of Andrew Diaz and accidentally makes a nurse think that he’s Andrew’s boyfriend, Buck soon finds himself lying to Andrew’s firefighter friends/coworkers as well as Andrew’s family including Andrew’s very suspicious and attractive brother, Eddie.

Based on the 1995 movie While You Were Sleeping.

Words: 3,178

Read on Ao3

Masterpost

Previous Chapter

–

It was watching Legolas with the kids as the day went on that brought the dog back into his memory and it fit in with other things that he’d started to remember. It in no way changed Andrew’s opinion on dogs. The dog felt like the last piece of the puzzle that was his memory because nothing felt strange or foreign anymore. Ever since he’d returned home it had felt like more and more was coming back and he knew better than to expect to remember Buck. Except that he did strangely enough. 

Andrew couldn’t be sure if it was because someone had mentioned that Buck was a barista, but Andrew did remember him handing Andrew the coffee order for the 118 every time he went to pick it up at Coffee Time. He remembered him because it was nearly always Buck taking care of his order and Andrew tended to be good with remembering faces unless of course he had amnesia. 

Andrew hadn’t expected Buck to come back after leaving. It was even more surprising when he arrived with his sister. Andrew had been under the impression that Buck had no one, but there he was with a woman standing next to him. 

“Didn’t someone say he doesn’t have any family?” Andrew asked Josh.

“That’s what I thought too.” 

Maddie’s smile was the first thing that Andrew noticed. Next he noticed that she was quite pretty. Although Maddie was friendly, Andrew couldn’t help but also notice that she stuck close to her brother and there was definitely a story there in her reappearance in Buck’s life. Andrew didn’t ask when Buck sat down by him mostly because he didn’t think it was his place and he didn’t want to ask in front of Maddie. What Andrew couldn’t tell was if Maddie knew about Buck’s lie or if she, like everyone else, thought that Andrew was Buck’s boyfriend. 

After trying to get Buck to eat some of the food off his plate, mostly because it was fun to try and feed Buck while Buck tried to dodge his attempts, Buck got up to get his own food. His sister followed.

It wasn’t long after they were gone that shit hit the fan and Andrew could have never once predicted it. 

“Are you kidding me? Seriously, you’re sleeping with Eddie? Buck, what the fuck?” Maddie’s words carried over to them. 

“Shit,” Andrew said mostly to himself. 

Everyone’s eyes had turned to him. Chimney looked like he’d just taken a drink of water and it went down the wrong way. No one said anything and it almost felt like they were waiting to see what happened next. Worst of all, Andrew had no idea if what Maddie had yelled out was true or not. If it was...well, he didn’t think Eddie would ever do that to him. 

Someone touched his elbow and when he looked it was Hen. She was frowning at him, her eyes filled with concern. 

“Are you okay?”

Buck wasn’t his boyfriend. Andrew had no reason to be upset...except that maybe he had a right to be offended or something? Either way, it was definitely cramping his plans to keep the ruse going. Although, maybe this also gave him an out especially if it turned out to be true. Andrew was pretty sure it wasn’t true. 

He didn’t get a chance to answer Hen because there was a commotion inside and Andrew couldn’t stop himself from pushing past everyone else and rushing inside. Legolas was just ahead of him and he was barking. In the kitchen his eyes found Maddie first. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was looking at Buck and shaking her head, her lips pursed. Buck looked stricken, his eyes were glassy. Last, he found Eddie who stood in front of a broken plate and food that Legolas rushed over to eat up. 

“What’s going on here?” Andrew asked, careful. 

Buck looked towards him first, eyes widening at seeing him and there were apologies written all over his face. Was it true, then? Andrew stepped further in, but before he could do or say anything, he saw Pepa enter from the living room and she looked livid. Andrew had seen his tia angry only a few times but it had never been directed at him or Eddie. Her anger was usually at their dad or her own kids. 

“Edmundo, es verdad?” she asked, calm but with weight behind it. And then she didn’t let Eddie say a word before she continued on. “No te puedo creer, Eddie! El es el novio de tu hermano...si pudiste hacer esto. I can’t believe it. I’m disappointed and ashamed of you.” 

[“Edmundo, is it true?”...“I can’t believe you, Eddie! He’s your brother’s boyfriend...if you could do that. I can’t believe it. I’m disappointed and ashamed of you.”]

But Buck wasn’t his boyfriend and maybe that was the thing that would clear everything up. Behind him, the others were coming in and Chimney somehow ended up next to him. 

“Do something,” Chim muttered. “She looks like she’s ready to slap him. On your behalf.”

“Pepa, I wasn’t—” Eddie began.

“No te puedo ni mirar,” Pepa said and it was filled with disappointment, his words cutting and full of disgust. 

[“I can’t even look at you”]

Andrew stepped forward, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to say or do. Then Buck was there, putting a hand on Andrew’s elbow.

“Buck,” Andrew said. 

Buck shook his head at him and he moved past Andrew towards Pepa. 

“I’m not sleeping with Eddie,” he said. “My sister has no idea what she’s talking about.” Buck’s gaze fell on Maddie, then, and Andrew noted how tight Buck’s jaw was. “Pepa, that’s the truth. Nothing has happened between me and Eddie.” 

Maddie had backed up into a wall and one of her hands covered her mouth. She was frowning and looked like she would start crying at any moment. A part of Andrew wanted to go over there and make sure she knew that on his account she had nothing to worry about. He thought she whispered “I’m sorry”. 

Andrew saw his abuela approach, then, moving slowly but like the strong woman that she was. “Buck,” she said, “what is happening?”

Buck took a glance around at all of them because of course everyone had come in to see what was happening. They had no shame in their curiosity. Andrew knew, suddenly, what Buck was going to do and there was nothing he could do to stop him. It was his choice.

Andrew had wanted to drag on the teasing for a while longer, but he’d also planned to eventually talk to Buck about everything to find an easy way for the truth to come out. Their hands were being forced. Andrew wasn’t going to stop Buck from coming clean, though. So, he hung back and watched Buck knowing already that what Buck was doing was very brave and also very stupid. But maybe Buck already knew that, had resigned himself to that. Andrew could only watch and at least he was a little more knowledgeable than everyone else. 

—-

Isabel looked okay. It was the one thing that Buck took notice of when he spotted her, but he still moved towards her before he did anything else and he offered his hand. She took it, even while looking confused and frowning at him. She’d heard of course, maybe even the bit from Pepa. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck said and it felt important. She was the one that he needed to apologize to first and the one that he hoped wouldn’t be affected in a bad way. 

“What for? You don’t need to—”

“I do,” Buck said and he gave her hand a squeeze. “It was never supposed to be like this. I’m sorry.” 

Buck looked to Pepa next and she didn’t look like she would welcome any apologies. The way she looked at him lacked all the warmth that had been usually present and Buck just took a deep breath. This...it was everything he’d expected. Still, he braced himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck muttered to her. “Truly. But it’s time to tell the truth.” 

“The truth,” Pepa said and her eyes flickered from him to Eddie. 

Buck shook his head. He couldn’t keep looking at Pepa, but Buck refused to look in the direction of Eddie who had been quiet since Maddie had gone and ruined everything. Buck had expected him to say something — anything at all — but instead it was as if he’d lost his ability to speak. Maybe it was shock or he was holding himself back. Either way, Buck was glad that he wasn’t making all of it worse. 

It had been a mistake to bring Maddie, Buck knew. Or maybe it had been a mistake to trust Maddie with the truth. Buck had planned on telling everyone everything before Maddie showed up and before Eddie kissed him and...and he’d let this drag on for far longer than he should have. He had let it get complicated. 

The moment that Athena had entered that hospital room should have been the start and end. The moment that Andrew woke up should have been the moment that he walked away or told the truth. He’d been a coward both times. 

Buck couldn’t quite look at the rest of them, but his eyes fixed themselves on Andrew. He deserved a direct apology as well. In some ways, he deserved it more than anyone else because Buck had added to the confusion that his amnesia brought. The guilt when it came to that had nee gnawing at him for a while.  

Andrew, to Buck’s surprise, reached out for him first, grabbing both of Buck’s shaking hands. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what. He looked like he was trying to offer Buck support. There was no anger and no confusion, just acceptance. That made Buck feel even worse. He didn’t deserve that. 

“I’m really sorry,” Buck said. “I shouldn’t have let this get so out of hand.” 

Andrew actually smiled a bit, the corner of his lips turning up. His hands gave Buck’s a light squeeze. 

“You shouldn’t have,” Andrew said. 

“The thing is,” Buck said. “I’m not your boyfriend.” 

“I know,” Andrew said with a smile. 

He knew. Of course he knew. Buck wanted to laugh, he wanted to allow himself to find that funny, but he couldn’t. If he were honest with himself, Buck could admit that he already knew that Andrew knew. Either way his stomach still churned because Andrew’s reaction was one thing, everyone else would be something else. 

“What’s going on, Buckaroo?” Hen asked. 

Buck was still looking at Andrew. “You figure it out on your own?” 

“No,” Andrew said. 

“Oh,” Buck said because of course Chimney had told him. 

“Buck?” Hen asked. 

Buck cleared his throat and he didn’t address Hen directly, but everyone. “The thing is,” he said and noticed how everyone was looking at him. “I lied and I talked myself out of every single chance that I had to come clean. I didn’t even know your name, Andrew. I knew nothing about you and I was stupid and I lied and I couldn’t take it back. Not when...when I guess that I fell in love with you…”

Andrew was still holding his hand and he froze, frowning. “With me?” he asked, shocked. “But, Buck—”

Buck shook his head and a small humorless chuckle escaped. “No. Not with you, Andrew. With...all of you. Your family...your friends. I walked into that hospital room with no one and by the time I left I had an abuela and an aunt and friends. Family. And you all just welcomed me in with no hesitation because of your love for Andrew even when I didn’t make any sense at all. Especially, then. And I love all of you for that. But I lied and I’m really sorry about that. And I don’t belong here. I never did.” 

He could feel how wet his cheeks were. His voice had cracked with the emotion a few times, but he couldn’t focus on that when Andrew’s hand fell away and when Pepa looked upset. Isabel’s face was a blank and Buck couldn’t tell what she was thinking but she was okay which was enough. Somehow, Buck’s eyes met Bobby’s and there was disappointment there mixed in with confusion. Hen wasn’t looking at him. 

Buck dug into his pocket and brought out Andrew’s keys.

“Here,” he said, thrusting them at him. 

Andrew took them. “Buck—”

Buck shook his head. “I always knew it would end this way. It’s okay.” 

Chimney was trying to catch his eye and Buck had no idea where Josh was but that didn’t matter because Maddie was suddenly there and she looked apologetic and sad when she grabbed him around the elbow, pulling at him because at least she knew that what Buck needed was to leave. The truth was out. Buck had made it a few steps when he thought to look back. His eyes landed on Eddie. 

Eddie was braced against the island and his eyes were fixed on Buck, his eyebrows set in a deep frown and there was anger and disgust in the way that he looked at Buck, an expression that Buck had never before seen on his face. In a way, he looked like he was holding himself back, teeth gritted and his knuckles white where they were holding onto the counter. 

Buck wanted to apologize to him as well, but he didn’t know if that would make it better or worse. 

Maybe being right didn’t want to suit Eddie. But he’d kissed Buck. That was a thing that had happened just hours earlier and the Eddie standing there in the kitchen wasn’t the Eddie that had done that. He probably regretted it, now. And Buck didn’t imagine that any explanation would make any of it better. It hurt his chest to think about it and to realize that this was probably the last he would see of Eddie. Eddie hated him. 

All of it...it was really truly over. 

In the living room were Christopher and Denny. Buck didn’t know Denny all that well, but he knew Christopher. Buck wasn’t sure if he should stop and say goodbye, and in the end when Maddie steered him to the door, he figured it might be best if he didn’t. 

He and Maddie had nearly made it to the door and it was so absolutely telling that no one was coming after them. No one was chasing him and trying to get him to stay. Not even Chimney or Josh. They’d all liked him and welcomed him in when he was Andrew’s boyfriend but now that the truth was out, he was nothing to them. Buck didn’t blame them one bit. He’d know that this was the way it would go. 

“Buck,” he heard suddenly, the voice small and a bit raspy. Christopher. 

Buck turned. “Hey,” he said and crouched down when Christopher approached. 

Christopher was still wearing that bandage around his wrist. “I won’t see you again, will I?” he asked.

Perceptive kid. 

“I don’t think you will,” Buck said. “I’m sorry.” 

He didn’t expect Christopher to hug him, but he hugged him back and ran a hand through the boy’s curls. He was going to miss this kid. He was going to miss all of them. He could feel the emotion, the tears that wanted to pour out and he tried his best to keep all of it at bay. 

“It’s okay,” Christopher said. 

“Be good to your dad, kiddo,” Buck said. 

Christopher touched his cheek. “You’ll be okay, kid.” he said and wiped away one of Buck’s tears. 

Buck had no idea how much Christopher understood. Probably not a whole lot, just enough to know that Buck was leaving for good. 

Maddie was standing by the door and Buck moved to join her when he felt paws on his legs. In all the confusion, Buck had almost forgotten about Legolas. Legolas barked at him, pawing at him and Buck couldn’t help but drop down to the floor and wrap his arms around the dog. He loved Legolas. He ran his hands down his back and pressed a kiss to the top of his head and he knew he was crying against his fur.  

“You be a good boy, Legolas,” Buck whispered. 

When Maddie opened the door, Legolas tried to step in front of Buck as if to stop him from leaving. 

“Legolas, stop. Sit,” Buck commanded and Legolas listened. He sat and looked at Buck and let out a soft whine. “I’ll miss you, bud. But you have your owner back. Go on, back inside.”

It broke his heart to see Legolas move away. When Buck stepped towards the open door, he glanced back once more and found Andrew. Legolas had walked to his side and Andrew crouched down to pet him. Buck let himself smile even through his tears. Andrew nodded at him and then Buck stepped out. 

Maddie was waiting by the steps. A few hours ago this was where he and Eddie had kissed. At least he had the memories of that to remember him by along with everything else. Their friendship...the days spent out in Andrew’s yard with Legolas, and other times too at the hospital and in Buck’s car. Memories were all that Buck could hold onto, he was used to that. 

“Buck, I’m so sorry. I just—”

“Don’t,” Buck said and his sister must have heard the way that he was just managing to hold himself together because she didn’t say anything else not even when they had gotten back to his apartment and Buck just walked up the stairs, ignoring her and everything else and dropped into his bed.

His room had always been a comfort, a place to escape where he could just be and where all the facades could fall away and Buck didn’t have to pretend that everything was okay. He’d always known that things would come to this eventually. But no amount of preparation for it had made him ready to feel how empty it left him. 

Later, and Buck couldn’t tell how much time had passed, he felt the bed dip and Maddie touched his shoulder. 

“Hey,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I really...I made a mess of this for you. I could tell they meant a lot to you. I’m so sorry, Evan. I should have stayed away. I...I should—”

He heard it in her voice, her instinct to run away. She was going to leave him again...

“Don’t leave,” Buck whispered. “Don’t leave me.”

“I screwed things up for you. I shouldn’t—”

Buck reached out and grabbed her hand. “Don’t leave, Maddie.”

“I won’t. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

–

Next Chapter

Notes: Soooo that finally happened. Hope everyone liked this one. It’s one of the chapters that I was looking forward to writing since the beginning. Let me know what you all thought. Thanks for reading. :)

Tagging: @tranquility-or-chaos @diazbuckleysworld @stilesgivesmefeels

[phylophe]

Only Human

The Mechanic observes his Magnum Opus. 

----- 

There’s something different about him - he’s used to that shit-eating grin of this asshole, and something about this one just doesn’t feel right.

“Where’s your doctor?” He asks as Four throws himself down onto his couch and stretches out, as if he owned the place.

“Aww, what if I just came over here because I missed you and your rough treatment?” The out-of-place smile is still there, and it feels more wrong by the moment. Still, the man’s committed to his acting, if nothing else, and keeps up the cocky composure even as he smears blood onto one of the new cushions. “Or maybe I just wanted to have a catch-up with my favourite mechanic?”

“Sure. In the small hours of the morning. Covered in dried blood. And… did you get shot?”

Four doesn’t retort immediately with some smart comment; only after a few seconds does he manage a feeble comeback. “I didn’t get shot. I got shot at, and they missed.”

“Nice try with the bullshit.” He doesn’t press further. He hasn’t seen Four so weak, so broken, so human, since the time he’d spent months putting the man’s body back together.

He doesn’t ask anymore questions, and Four doesn’t tell anymore lies. Two days later, he wakes up to find his couch empty.

Don’t do anything stupid, he thinks.

-----

But of course the bastard goes and does multiple stupid things.

Over the following weeks, the double-agent does an abysmal job of upholding that title, and ends up dirtying his couch three more times. The last of these times, his partner ended up having to actively hack into the government surveillance records and manually overwrite some files.

“Are you so full of crap that it’s finally filling up the space in your skull, shit-for-brains?” Four’s actions were reckless and selfish, so he figures he deserves a taste of his own medicine, if only in the form of a scolding. “Please tell me you’re fucking up on purpose, because if you’re getting us into trouble by actual stupidity, I’ll have to kick your ass myself.”

“Maybe I don’t have enough fibre in my diet?” Even while sedated, the shithead somehow musters up enough energy to pull a jerk-ass face, and he’d like nothing more than to put his fist in it, except his hands are currently occupied by clamps and a scalpel.

“I’m serious, Ilvait.” The emphasis on his real name does the trick - Four’s face grows stern and his eye sharpens with attention. “I couldn’t care less if you got your sorry ass handed to you and die in some rat-hole, but if you keep pulling crazy stunts and jeopardising the safety of the rest of us, I’ll go have a word with your superiors on both sides.”

Four doesn’t bother with a reply - that alone tells him that the agent’s streak of poor performance isn’t simply coincidental.

“What happened to your doctor?” His anger is diffusing a bit. He’s only human, after all.

Four supplies a single word: “Hrodna.”

The airstrike. They’d attacked not only the infantry, but also one of the field hospitals. “Did she die?”

“No.”

The gears turn in his head and the pieces click into place. “So are you going to do anything about that stick up your ass, before it migrates too high and gives you a heart attack or a stroke or something?”

“What do you suggest?” Four asks with his face turned away; he can’t say he likes it better when the asshole’s grinning, but he also can’t deny his pity for the guy. “Should I take a leaf out of your book: Insubordination For Dummies?”

“I thought you of all people would somehow find a way around it, what with all those nasty thoughts squirming around in there.” He cauterises a blood vessel with an electric scalpel. There’s some nerve damage and a number of small arteries need to be reconnected - procedures that are beyond his abilities. Four will have to get a proper doctor back at home. “Assuming you can even manage rational thought at this point.”

Four doesn’t respond. Oh my god, he’s actually listening.

“Look, if it’s bothering you to this extent - damned if you do and damned if you don’t - go take care of this personal shit before you fuck up everything else.” He puts down the scalpel and picks up a suturing needle, sighing as he turns back to his subject. “If it’s that difficult, I’ll do what I can. Marclai will help, too.”

He braces himself for a smug quip, perhaps preceded by a coy, overly-affectionate coo.

“Thanks.”

He didn’t expect that. “Don’t thank me.” He waves it off with a soft grunt. “I just don’t want me, or him, or anyone else getting caught up in this mess because you’re worried about your woman.”

Four is only human, after all. The reminder rings once again in his head. And nothing is more human than the weakness for love.

-----

He squints at the scanned document on the screen. It looks like a scientific paper, impeccably formatted with LaTeX, complete with figures, tables, and equations. The author had identified himself as ‘Ivan Mikael Fore’.

The text, however, consists of just one word: chicken, over and over. He glances over to the page count: Page 1/34. “What’s this?”

“Something that came to the attention of the general himself. Apparently one of his close associates - a civilian, to boot - got tipped off with this piece of intelligence.” His boss sounds exasperated through his headset. “It looks like a prank, but there’s a hidden message in this apparent nonsense.” A PDF file is opened, with a short message occupying a tiny fraction of the page:

on ap ril twen ty nin th at ze ro thr ee hund red ho urs th ere will be an acci den tal deto nat ion of a seri es of six und isco ver ed la ndmi nes five po int two ki lome tres sou the ast of the ca mp

He recalls a conversation he had with Marclai a couple of weeks ago. Apparently Four had requested access to the secured bunker where all the yet-to-be-defused explosives from previous wars are kept, and asked to have the records rewritten so the missing items couldn’t be traced. There was also something about drawing up a circuit involving a timer.

“Do you know anything about this, Haekel?” His silence probably answered that question already. Shit. “This has Ilvait written all over it, don’t you think?”

“I can’t say for certain, ma’am.” He fumbles with the mic of his headset. “What camp is this, if I may ask? Does the general have an idea? Any matches with anything in our records?”

“The general thinks it’s Dzisna.” Oh, damn it, Four. “The Naveau name has been popping up mysteriously lately - someone bumped the Hrodna-Dzisna case up the priority list, the password access to files of missing personnel has been removed by an unknown hacker, and rumours are gaining traction. The media loves it, of course, and wants to know what the military’s doing about it.”

“My apologies, but I don’t know anything about this chicken manuscript, ma’am.” He leans back in his chair, feeling both amazed and exasperated. “I can have my associate dig into the server’s logs if you wish - do some data-mining, see if anything turns up.”

“That’d be useful. I’ll send you the details after further discussions with the unit, then.” His boss sighs. “It just seems like too much of a coincidence, with Ilvait volunteering to be deployed to that month-long recon mission in Azerbaijan. Is he trying to create an alibi for himself?”

“I really don’t have an answer for that, but I’ll see what we can do, Major General.”

He waits until the electronic security scan is complete before turning to his partner. “You helped him, didn’t you, Ilya?”

He really pulled a leaf out of your book, after all, Marclai signs from across the room. Since it’s for a righteous reason for once, I agreed. It reminds me of old times.

“I’d be impressed if he can pull this off.” He pulls off his glasses and rubs at his eyes. “Truth be told, I kinda hope he does.”

He will, if I’m backing him up.

-----

Okay, he’s impressed.

The Special Reconnaissance Unit had decided, in conjunction with General Naveau and the rest of intelligence, that the tip was genuine, and too good of a wave not to ride. 

In the chaos provided by the ‘accidental detonation’, a small taskforce composed of volunteers stormed the place, and rescued the surviving prisoners - Four’s doctor among them. The base itself was heavily bombed to erase any evidence of the taskforce’s intrusion.

When Four returned from Azerbaijan, he was taken into custody almost straight off the plane, ferried back to headquarters, and questioned thoroughly and mercilessly, but there’s no solid evidence of his involvement, and his alibi was flawless.

He was even more pleased when the Major General decided to unofficially punish Four, anyway. He sure couldn’t say no to the offer.

“So… you’re my bitch for the next four weeks.” He pulls the most smug, snide, shit-eating smirk he can manage, and drops a stack of dusty binders on top of the pile of documents. It’s probably got nothing on Four’s face, but damn, it feels good. “Looking forward to all the old cases you’ll have the honour to look through?”

“I hate you so much,” Four grumbles, but there’s something behind his petulance - a hint of pride, and satisfaction. He’s back.

“Aww, is that the way to talk to your master?” He chuckles, and not entirely out of spite. “Aren’t you at least a little bit grateful you’re not in a worse situation right now?”

“I guess so.” Four shrugs, pouting as he turns back to his fort of files, and hunches over the computer. “I could be stuck with old case reports and not have air-conditioning.”

He laughs heartily at Four’s sign of defeat. He thinks things over, and after a few minutes of silence broken only by the white noise of fingers tapping away on a keyboard and shuffling through papers, he spins around in his swivel chair to address the man once more. “Did you see her?”

“Nope.” The typing and shuffling don’t pause for even a moment.

“Planning to?”

“Maybe when she gives her statement at the capital.” The man slaps a stained, crinkled stack of paper onto the end of the desk. “Probably not the right time for a catch-up over coffee, though.”

“Probably not.” He agrees. Still, it all feels so… sad - this secrecy, this distance, this unfulfilled longing. “Hey, Four?”

“Hmm?”

“I hope things work out for you.”

“Thanks.” The typing and shuffling stop. A sigh - miserable, weak, human. “I hope so, too.”

-----

He thought he was done dealing with his bullshit once he’s resigned from the unit, but in true Four fashion, the man has once again proved him wrong. 

“What the fuck, Four?” He’s concerned - the man is properly dressed, but his complexion is pale, and there’s this disturbingly absent look in his eyes, but that doesn’t negate how angry he is at the former-agent putting the safety of himself and everyone around him at risk. Again. “Don’t tell me you went around looking like that - in case you’ve forgotten, you’re meant to be dead now, dumb shit.” 

Four has the gall to look up at him - straight in the eyes, then simply shakes his head. “I covered my tracks.” 

He allows Four to shove past him into his workshop, and watches as the man sheds his coat, scarf and gloves in turn, tossing it over his stained couch.

His eyes scan over his body, and stop at his right hand, which is covered in soiled, carelessly-wound bandages. The blood on it looks old. 

He rolls his eyes and lets out a groan. “Sit your sorry ass down before you fall over and break something.” He digs under his desk for his medical kit, gnashing his teeth. He gets the feeling that this will be beyond his ability to fix. “Who and how did you fuck up, this time? You look like shit.” His stomach is flipping. Four isn’t an agent anymore. This wasn’t a mission - this was personal. 

He fucked up someone as a personal errand. 

Four still won’t talk to him, but at least he’s sat down on the couch. “I know you’ve been moving around.” He reaches for the bandaged hand, grabbing Four’s wrist rather roughly. “Ticking off that hit-list you’ve been compiling, right?” 

Four is silent. He takes that as a ‘yes’. 

“Did you catch and release?” He has to reduce his questions to yes-or-no ones; his friend looks damned near catatonic at this stage. 

“No.” Ah, he spoke. “Took care of the last one.” 

“And how long ago was that?” He peels off the bandages - blood and pus and iodine soak the dressing, sticking the layers together, and there’s no way he can be as gentle with it as he’d like. “Long enough for you to take piss-poor care of a simple cut and catch an infection.” He lets out an angry huff at the state of the wound - it’s probably once a neat gash across the palm, but infection has reduced it to a swollen, discoloured, feverish mess. He starts cleaning it with disinfectant. 

Four is muttering. “I was in Dzisna.” 

“…Fuck.” He can’t find a more suitable response. “You screwed up.” It wasn’t a question, because of course he did. 

He’s only human. That place is haunted for him. No way he’d have gotten out of that unscathed. 

He tries his best to get the details out of Four over the next hour as he worked on the wound, asking him short questions and prompting him to divulge. He learns enough to piece things together: Four has been committing to some vigilante work and tracked down those who’d wronged his doctor - his woman - in that camp. He’s appointed himself judge, jury, and executioner, and hit a roadblock when it came to his final victim. 

The sergeant in charge of the camp; the man who’s allowed for the vicious abuse of his woman during her imprisonment there. 

“No wonder you snapped. Damn it, Four.” He glances over at Marclai, making sure his patient is held still, before he tugs the piece of rusty, chipped scalpel out of Four’s palm. The man jolts, but the movement is much weaker than anticipated. “I know you have a lot of mechanical parts in you, but news flash: you’re still human. You have feelings. You’re not invincible.” He starts to suture the swollen, infected mess as best he can. “Don’t put yourself into stupid-ass situations like that, you extra son-of-a-bitch.”

Four doesn’t retort. He finds himself feeling too sorry for the man to scold him anymore, however much he deserves it. “Stay here for a while.” He suggests, and Marclai nods in agreement. “I have to order some shots for the technicolour mess that is your hand, and until you’re better, you’re staying here. I don’t want you passing out somewhere out there and risk exposing all of us.” 

“Until I’m better, huh?” Four lets out a pathetic little snort. 

I know; for people like us, things may never truly get better. Still– “Until you’re good enough to go back to your woman.” He tries to be firm. “No more stupid shit. Your woman doesn’t deserve to see you looking as fucked up as you do now.” 

“Okay.” Four’s response has an edge of his obnoxious sarcasm, but when he opens his mouth to reassert his message, he fancies he can see tears in the former-agent’s eyes. 

“Go lie down before you fall over.” He walks off; Marclai has long since disappeared. He understands it well - space and time are the only things that can make it better, now.

We’re all only human, after all.