#erwin's dad joke

[liiittlehand]

I just really love those hand jokes.

[arlertdarling]

[soldiersscream]

"Tell me, what has five toes and isn't your foot"

[eli0004]

Ever wondered where the Veterans would take you on a date?

Contains: Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoe

Synopsis: brief Headcannons about where the Vets would take you on a date

Warnings: None

Erwin smith? Applebee’s💀

lmfao I’m joking, but the way i see it, Erwin strikes me as the goofy, endearingly cringy, single dad type of guy that really believes Applebee’s is the epitome of fine dining. Thankfully, he listens when Levi tells him to have a little class💀

In all seriousness, I think he’d be the type to take you wine tasting, go to see live music performances at local venues, or browsing a cute little craft market on a crisp spring morning.

He’d clean up nice beforehand, probably wear some jeans and a button up shirt, and this man would smell…so…fucking…good😩 like fresh powdery cologne and spearmint gum. You’d get in his car and he’d already have your favorite coffee order in the cupholder waiting for you. Omg i love him

Levi Ackerman? Tea shops, local bakeries, art museums, bookstores, theater.

Levi has a love for the arts, and anything intellectually stimulating. He likes to take his time getting to know the person he’s interested in, so he wouldn’t want to do any kind of activity he couldn’t talk during. It’s a common headcannon among us Levi lovers that he’s an acts of service kind of guy, so you know he’ll be always observing what kind of pastries you order, what kind of tea you like, or your favorite genre of book.

When Levi takes interest in someone, he doesn’t take them for granted. He’s always perusing, always chasing, always loving, so diligently. Gas will never be an issue, this man will drive you across town and back 4 times if you asked him to. He plans dates ahead of time, and always comes prepared, with a wallet full of cash and a tank full of gas, and If he ends the night empty handed, he’ll call it a job well done.

Hange Zoe? Hikes, smoke sesh on the roof, metaphysical shops, farmers markets, picnics, nature walks, the zoo.

Hange is one of those earthly granola people. They’re 100% vegan, grounded to the world around them, and a huge animal lover, so i love the idea that they’ll want to go on a hike to bird watch or pet some moss. Just imagine how cute it would be, you’re both walking around in a stream in the woods, pant legs hiked up around your calves, looking for pretty colored stones for your collection. The sun is peaking through the tree line and you both smell like sweat and sunscreen and earth. Hange finds a turtle or a small frog and catches it to show you🥹 they make me so soft. They’ll also 100% get sunburnt on their nose and cheeks because they can’t ever remember to apply sunscreen there.

Hange is the type to love taking photos of you on dates, and add them to the photo wall in their apartment. If you go to visit, the two of you will pack a bowl and laugh about the memories you have together as you look over the pictures, some kind of cozy music playing in the background.

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

Hello! Could you do aot boys being married to a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes and when they have a baby they come out with the same features as her? Tysm! Love your work

eren was positive the baby would come out looking like him. so much, he even put a $5 bet on it. so, you’re five dollars richer but that’s okay, cause he feels rich enough with you two. he also makes a joke about how armin might be the dad but you don’t find it funny.

jean cries when your baby is born, seeing how much they resembles their mother. but they’re all happy tears, of course. the prettiest thing in the world to him made another pretty thing. he’s blessed.

connie’s a little sad that the baby didn’t come out looking anything like him. he always envisioned his baby being a carbon copy of him but nooo, now he has to watch another version of you wreak havoc instead of a lil connie.

armin can’t say he’s surprised about the blonde hair and blue eyes. you guys all kind of look extremely related, lmao. there’s no denying who this baby belongs to.

levi curses you and your weirdly strong genetics but he loves his daughter so, so much. he says that you should be prepared though, because “if she looks like you, does that mean she’s going to act like me?”

zeke claims that the baby looks more like him than it does you. he insists that she gets her looks from her daddy and that’s why she’s such a cutie patootie.

erwin and you fuss over who the baby looks like more. erwin eventually gives in and agrees with you, that the baby is your look-like. but he tells everyone they get their looks from papa.

porco thinks your baby looking like you is both the greatest and funniest thing ever. he thinks they’re beautiful and is so proud of you for birthing his child. what’s funny to him is that, of course you just basically gave birth to yourself. he thinks you’re a witch and did it on purpose (jokingly ofc.)

reiner is a big blubbering mess when the baby comes out looking just like you. he claims it’s the most beautiful thing he’s seen (besides you). you tell him you think it looks like him and it makes him cry harder.

bertholdt loves that baby so much. he tells everyone how much it looks like you. he’s a really sentimental kind of guy about it, taking a billion pictures, saving the baby’s first haircut, etc. one time, the two of you came out wearing matching outfits on easter and he just about cried seeing you and mini-you.

[rubywithecat]

Heeey I saw that you are writing for aot again! I use to read them a lot :) could you write the aot boys in a family dinner just something silly and funny pretty please? :) thankss

Hello! Thanks a lot for loving my AoT ones<33 I had no idea that u guys enjoyed a lot to my AoT hcs, I’m so grateful for it ^^’

AoT boys at family dinner (fem. reader)

Eren Yeager

-He had proposed you days ago so you invite him to your family dinner, to introduce to your family. He had prepared considerate gifts for your parent and ur parents immediately liked his behavior. At the dinner, he would be shy to take the dishes into his plate so you have to take for him. “So, how long have u been dating my daughter” your dad asked. “Two years, sir” he replied. “You called me sir?” Your dad raised his eyebrows. He was nervous. “Umm… you don’t like it…?” He asked, looking at you for help. “Haha it’s not that I don’t like it. U can call me dad, alright? We’re gonna be family anyway” he said as Eren was blushing. “Yes, sir…I mean dad” he said, squeezing your hand out of embarrassment and you and your mum laughed.

Armin Arlet

-When you told him your parents are gonna come this evening for dinner, he freaks out cuz he hadn’t prepare anything. “It’s okay u don’t need to, Armin. It’s a casual dinner anyway” U told him. When they arrive, he greeted them politely and they were impressed that he wasn’t nervous at all. He was smart enough to be adjustable and chose right kind of words with his conversation and bond with your parents immediately. The dinner wasn’t awkward at all. Now they even favored him more than you after that dinner.

Reiner Braun

-He wanted to be seen flawless by your family so he tried so hard which made him seemed more like overly suspicious. Your little bro dropped his spoon and he immediately got up and said, “don’t worry I will wash it immediately” then he stood up and did it. Your parents were just being awkward and looked at you and your mum whispered “Is there smth wrong?” she was worried. “I swear he’s not like that” you had to cover for him. “He’s just nervous, mum”. When your dad told a joke, he laughed so hard that made him more awkward. But overall, your parents understood him and when they told him like he doesn’t need to be nervous around them cuz he’s like their son, he felt relived and his actions changed more casual later on which made your parents loved him.

Porco Galliard

-You were so surprised that he’s so good at handling this kind of situation. He easily impressed your parents with his gentleman behaviors and slight humor. “I can’t believe that my daughter attracts this kind of perfect young man” your dad praised him and teased you. “Dad! I’m also good!” you defended. Porco just laughed and replied like “Actually, I’m so lucky to have your daughter. She has everything a man could ask for” which made him get million positive points from your parents and he smiled at you innocently. Before they left, they even reminded you like “don’t let go of this man, kiddo” and u replied like “I get that! I’m your actual daughter, not him, in case u forget” you got smiled fakely and you closed the door. You looked back at Porco, arm crossed. “What?” He smirked, patting your head. “It’s so suspicious that ur behaviors and speech were so smooth that how many times have you done with other girls before, huh?” you asked. “Oh, I swear this is my first time! No need to be jealous that I’m so good at it” he winked and u threw him with pillow.

Erwin Smith

-He actually cooked for the dinner and he lied for you that u did all of those. But your parents knew you couldn’t cook so u can’t fool them and they scolded you. “Don’t bully your fiancé, y/n” your mum said. “Mum I’m not!” U defended. Plus They were so impressed about him like his achievements and manners. And then your dad embarrassing you like “I’m so glad my daughter is marrying with you cuz I was worried if she would be eating cup noodle her whole life” Erwin laughed when your face got red. Your mum even gave him ancient vase that she liked collecting them. They liked him so much that they might even adopt him if you ever broke up.

—

—

[howboringislife]

Imagine dating Erwin Smith...

Including: established relationship, implied female reader, fluff

Summary: bf headcanons for all the bitches crushing on the hottest Commander of the Survey Corps

Masterlist

He's so tall omfg

Likes to hug you from behind and nuzzles his face in your neck

Kisses your hand like the gentleman he is

Loves when you mess with his hair

His voice is so soothing, it immediatly calm you down when you hear it

Tries to take breaks from work just to spend quality time with you

Doesn't get easy jealous but it's clear in his face when another guy is bothering him

Gives daddy vibes because he IS your daddy

He doesn't send you to dangereous missions because you are way too precious for him

May get angry when you argue about going to one of the missions he doesn't want you too

But Erwin quickly calms down, he is just so scared for you

Can lost all his seriousness with you and just make stupid jokes (yes, it includes dad jokes)

You are the only one with who he is 100% comfortable with

Sometimes he vents to you when he feels bad because he send so many people to death

He's usually the big spoon but he craves being the little spoon times to times

Always knows when you are in your period and get your favorite food or medicine if the cramps are way too intense

He cannot say no to you, how can he refuse to his darling?

Can spend hours into your warm embrace without moving just listening to your calm heartbeat

If you are ever cold, he won't hesistate to give you his cloak

You look so cute in it and it's way too big for you, the hood covering your eyes

[mamasbakeria]

hey, what's your major again?

summary: my credible expert opinion on what the aot characters would study in university. what are my qualifications? the dozens of hours i’ve spent staring at my school’s program bulletin trying to figure out what i’m majoring in

genre | includes: headcanons, sfw, minor language, uninformed percy jackson reference (pls don't hate me if im wrong)

characters: eren jaeger, mikasa ackerman, armin arlert, sasha braus, jean kirschtein, connie springer, historia reiss, ymir, reiner braun, annie leonhardt

author’s note: had this in my drafts for months now. i just need to post it so it stops haunting me. might do the rest of the marleyans and vets in the future! lmk your thoughts, my only tumblr notifications are from p*rn bots, so i'd love to hear from real people lol. enjoy <3

eren: sociology and public policy, 4+1 program for a social work masters

there’s only so many times you can hear “you’re gonna be a doctor just like your dad” before you start to believe it. that’s why eren started out with biology on the premed track. the thing is, he really didn’t care for it. eren is really passionate about lessening equity gaps and is a firm believer in “if you want something done right, do it yourself”. this is why i see him making the switch to a double major in public policy and sociology. he wants to know about how society got to the point of perpetuating disparities so that he can fix them. but he also knows that the government fucking sucks and thinks its naive to expect policy change to be the only method of change. and like the maniac he is, eren is enrolled in a 4+1 program so he can get his master’s in social work when he’s done with his undergrad. he’s determined to graduate with both degrees in just 4 years though. rip his summers.

armin: international relations and military ethics, minor in communications or smth

everyone always says armin would study marine biology or oceanographic studies, but i honestly think that it’s a passion that he pursues on the side. he takes marine bio courses for his breadth requirements, but knows he’d end up hating the ocean if he spent the rest of his life studying it. he also strikes me as someone who would rather run buck naked into traffic than sit through multiple semesters of organic chemistry. armin was always a good public speaker, though, despite being a bit insecure. that’s why his speech and debate teacher during sophomore year of high school recommended model united nations to him. he was hooked after his first conference and now genuinely sees the path of international diplomacy as his calling. that’s why he’s majoring in international relations. his concentration in military ethics is something he tacks on in his junior year after taking some courses and publishing research with dr. erwin smith. he probably minors in communications because he can.

mikasa: forensic science

mikasa had no idea what she wanted to do when she started uni. she’s good at nearly everything. like never gotten a B in her life and is the student who the curve is based off of. but excelling in every environment you’re put in often means you don’t know what you’re best at. she knew deep down that she wanted to do something justice related like her childhood best friends did, but she’s no public speaker and has no interest in political reform. she was, however, emo in high school and heard a fair share of undertaker jokes at her expense. it wouldn’t hurt to look into right? as cool as the title sounds, morticians don’t make enough money for the job they have. fortunately enough, forensic pathologists do and mikasa looks good in a lab coat. she would never admit it to spare armin and eren’s feelings, but when they, as children, recreated the crime-solving shows mrs. jaeger always had on, mikasa always wanted to be the brains. so criminology and forensic science it is. (side note: she definitely joins the military and they pay for her education)

jean: structural engineering and industrial design with a minor in studio art

more than anything, jean wants to provide for his mom and knows he can’t guarantee a retirement of luxury for her as the freelance artist he wishes he could be. he’s decent at math when he tries and doesn’t hate physics, so he decided he’d give structural engineering a try for at least a semester or two. he wasn’t expecting to get much from it, to be honest. he had a plethora of backup plans waiting for his supposedly inevitable distaste for engineering, but he found that he didn’t hate it at all. someone once told jean that he had the makings of a great leader and he didn’t believe them until he started taking the lead on design projects and producing incredible results. his only qualm is that he just doesn’t get to be as creative as he wanted to be. that was easily rectified by an additional major in industrial design and a minor in studio art. he’s unbelievably busy, busier than he anticipated when he started his post-secondary journey, but he’s content and there’s nothing some extra coffee can’t solve. 

sasha: environmental science and sustainability

sasha spent her childhood ankle-deep in mud and fighting her way through forest thickets without a compass. an upbringing like that doesn’t leave your spirit, no matter how far into the city you go for school. so sasha’s always been passively passionate about the environment. that passiveness became significantly more prominent when part of the woods she grew up in was cleared out to build an industrial complex. it was then that she started researching and writing petitions about preserving wildlife and making environmentally conscious decisions. her work actually got her the scholarship she’s on (because god knows it wasn’t her grades). and she genuinely loves what she does, so why wouldn’t she keep learning about it? the environmental science and sustainability program at the school is small, but tight-knit and known for churning out changemakers. sasha knows she’ll be one of them one day. just hide your plastic straws from her, okay?

connie: computer science and chinese

stick with me here okay? everyone expects connie to be a douchebag marketing major whose hardest assignments are graphing functions and making posters on photoshop, but he’s a lot more invested in his education than he looks. don’t get me wrong, connie has always struggled academically, but that’s because so much of early education is pre-determined. he performed way better when he could choose what courses he took. it’s kind of like percy jackson being dyslexic in english because he was wired to read in greek. connie can’t keep his eyes on a history textbook for shit, but will gladly sit in front of the c++ code on his pc for hours. he doesn’t even get mad when he realizes that he was missing a semicolon. connie loves how versatile of a future he could have with a compsci degree, because, let’s be real, he could never survive in a typical office environment. definitely takes a bunch of chinese classes and doesn’t realize that he has enough credits for it to be a minor until his second to last semester.

historia: political science with a minor in international relations and child development

historia is a lot like eren in the sense that she knows her time is best spent doing hands-on work in the fields she cares about. she realizes this sometime after reconnecting with her estranged father and volunteering at the orphanage she grew up in. but now that she’s publicly associated with a powerful political figure, historia doesn’t get to do what she wants, only what is expected of her. that’s how she ends up on the pre-law political science and public policy route. the nickname “ms. president” that connie and sasha give her only further reminds her that she’s heading down a path she never wanted for herself. after lots of encouragement from ymir, historia decided to take child development courses on the side. even if she doesn’t take on the full minor, she’s taking some classes she cares about. maybe she’ll find use for it someday. at the very least, it’s her first step in becoming the most selfish girl in the world.

ymir: data science and business management

ymir is smart. much smarter than she presents herself to be, almost as a form of protection. nobody expects much of someone who is aloof, so it makes it easy to slip through the cracks to remain safe and comfortable in the shadows. business management is notoriously low commitment and easy to skate by with. guaranteed internships, post-graduate employment, and so on. To anyone who doesn’t know ymir well, it’s perfect. but they have her mistaken, ymir will do as little as possible to go as far as possible. sure, she can live comfortably with a business degree, but it could be better with a little bit of data science in her arsenal. she’s intelligent enough to pick up on it, and determined enough to make it her bitch. yeah, academia is a money-sucking pipeline into the capitalist hellscape, she doesn’t believe in it yada yada, but at the end of the day, ymir’s gonna get the bag. so what if she’s gotta sleep through some stats classes to get it?

reiner: behavioral economics

reiner’s mother had convinced him his whole life that getting a high paying job would fix their lives and bring his father back. believing “perfect grades lead to a perfect life” made high school tough for reiner; gifted kid burnout is no joke. it really messed him up. he wasn’t sure if he could withstand the pressures of university, but here he is. reiner was never allowed a therapist, so he figured pursuing psychology would, at the very least, give him some answers and be a good pathway to a medical degree. he loved getting to understand how people work and why they act the way they do, but something was missing. he found out what it was when a guest lecturer spoke in his economics class. he knew making the switch would be risky, it’s a new field and his current career options are really only research, academia, or government, but the interdisciplinary study of behavioral economics is calling reiner’s name. 

annie: biomedical engineering and kinesiology

annie’s entire life revolved around her father, including the injury he was never able to heal from. the one she gave him. he’s claimed to be over it, she’s forgiven, but annie will never feel like she’s earned that forgiveness until she gets rid of the problem entirely. how is she going to do that exactly? with biomedical engineering. she has years of hell in front of her, especially with her concentration on biomechanics, but she doesn’t care. annie will throw herself into her work to get the results she wants. she takes the highest amount of credits possible every semester so she can graduate early. you’ll most likely find her chained to a study cubicle at the library at all hours of the day and running on 2 hours of sleep, but it doesn’t faze her. she tacks on a minor in kinesiology because it makes sense and she had most of the credits for it anyway. and as if it couldn’t get worse, she probably TAs for a thermodynamics course or something crazy like that.

© mamasbakeria 2023. do not repost, translate (without permission), or modify

[levi501ackerman]

Allegiance: Part 1 | Levi x Reader

masterlist

Summary: You're a wealthy citizen from Stohess. When the survey corps are in the city, you can't help but fall for a cute captain.

Word Count: 2.7k

Megan's Note: Song correlated: Cola by Lana Del Rey. Okay This is going to have to be multiple parts because it's already pretty long and I'm not even near the end. Posted: 4/25/24

You grew up in a large home never worrying about your next meal and you never cleaned anything yourself. Your parents had people employed to do so. Your family was one of many other families who could afford MPs to guard and escort your family. While growing up, MPs escorted you to school, shops, and friends' homes. You wore clothes that fit you right and were cleaned properly. There was food when you wanted and life was easy for you. Your family required you to attend Einrich College and you got a degree in chemistry. Though they did not care about having you employed they just wanted you to remain a person with higher education. They didn’t mind you living at home and they wanted you to marry a man with a similar background. 

You were fortunate enough to be a free-spirited person. You didn’t worry about titans coming to Stohess because of how close to the center your family lived. Most of your time was spent reading, writing, shopping, and being with friends. 

One day your father told you the survey corps was coming to the Military Police Head Quarters in Stohess. The family was going to going to be in attendance at the gala. You and your friends grew up thinking highly of the military and the survey corps. They were so brave and cool for going beyond the walls. However, your adoration for the survey corps depleted around the age of twelve. Your parents prohibited you from joining the cadet corp because they wanted you to attend Einrich College. 

When you were at the gala you stood by your parents like you usually did. You were polite to everyone your parents introduced to and made small talk with each official your parents knew.

“I want to introduce you to my good old pal Erwin Smith.” Your dad said to your mother and then glanced at you. You followed your mother and father toward a small group of people who didn’t look social. A guy with dark hair caught your eye. He had one hand in his pocket and he sipped his tea cup then put it behind him on the table. He was kind of cute. He noticed you looking at him and you offered a soft smile. He didn’t return one. “Commander Erwin of the Survey Corp!” Your father greeted a blonde-haired older man. To your surprise, he hugged your dad. 

“Warren L/N! Long time no see.” Your father and he both had warm smiles. It must have been nice for your father to see a friend from his past. 

“Erwin this is my wife, Cordelia L/N.” Your father motioned towards your mother who respectfully held out a handshake. 

“Commander Erwin Smith, nice to meet you.” She said sweetly.

“Please I’m just Erwin to you.” Then he looked at you next. All you could do was smile. 

“Erwin this is my daughter, Y/N,” Your father said. 

“Y/N, nice to meet you,” Erwin said to you and you stuck out your hand like how your mother did. 

“Y/N graduated from Einrich College with a degree in chemistry.” Your father said and you felt slightly embarrassed because you hated when your parents explained you didn’t need a job. “She was fairly vested in becoming a scout when she was younger.” You looked at the man with black hair to see his reaction. He was just staring at you. His attractive gaze made it hard for you to look at him any longer than a second. 

“I bet you would’ve been a wonderful scout, Y/N,” Erwin said encouragingly. 

“Poor girl can’t even run for more than five minutes.” Your father joked. 

“That’s not true, father.” You said trying to not sound annoyed in front of the attractive man. 

“Chemistry though? You must be easily able to find a secure job.” Erwin suggested and you started feeling embarrassed. 

“Oh, she’s smart, but she hasn’t worked a day in her life. Y/N doesn’t need to get a job.” Your mother said lightly but the shame felt heavy. You stayed quiet and couldn’t look at anyone in the eye. 

“I’ve been interested in jobs. I just haven’t found anything that interests me.” You said.

“Well, section commander Hange Zoe—” Erwin motioned to the cute woman next to him. “—studies and experiments on captured titans.” Your parents greeted and shook her hand. She seemed fairly inviting and energetic.

“Yes, titans have interested me—” You noticed the man with the dark hair roll his eyes. “—ever since I kicked a head and it was super light! We haven’t done much biological research on the titans. However, any information we collect is one step closer to solving their mysteries!” She said enthusiastically. 

“Wow, I didn’t think there was a branch of the survey corp that experimented on the titans.” You said. You could feel the obsession with the survey corp from your youth slightly return. Only if. 

“Yup! Just me and my assistant Moblit! We captured many titans!” Hange said.

“Are you looking for another research assistant?” You asked, thinking it could be a great opportunity to be in the survey corps.

“Unfortunately, Hange’s research is only a small part of the survey corps. You would still need to graduate from the Cadet Corp to be Hange’s assistant.” Erwin said earnestly. You looked at your parents who didn’t let you join. Erwin seemed like he understood that you wanted to join if you had the choice. 

“Well, I guess I could always join later right? There’s no age limit?” 

“You’d most likely be with a bunch of twelve to fifteen-year-olds. Not something you would enjoy.” Your father said.

“But I’d only be with them for three years and then I could make friends with people my age.” You said. 

“Captain Levi joined a little unconventionally.” Erwin motioned to the guy with dark hair. Captain Levi. So that’s his name. 

“Nice to meet you, Captain Levi.” You said holding out your hand eager for him to touch you. He looked at your hand and then your eyes. Then he shook your hand. Your heartbeat increased a little. “You joined the cadet corps older than the average?” 

“Again he joined the survey corp unconventionally. I recruited him because he excelled with the ODM gear by teaching himself.” Erwin said. You had to face the fact that you missed the age to join the survey corp. You realized deep down you wouldn’t enjoy being with twelve-year-olds like your father said.

“Wow, you taught yourself? That’s really impressive.” You said and looked into his eyes. You hoped he thought he found you pretty. “You are all a smart group of people. How long has it been since you last saw my dad, Commander Erwin?” 

“Over maybe twenty years?” Erwin turned to your father.

“Huh, time flies.” Your father said.

“Could they come over for dinner, Father?” You asked hoping for more time to get to know the three. “It would give you more time to catch up? And I could get to know more about Hange’s experiments?” Hange’s face lit up and you looked at Levi who had the same expression on his face. “Maybe we could get to know each other more.” You eyed him up and down despite him not seeming to warm up to you. You wanted him to know you found him attractive. 

“Why not?! Erwin are you and your officials available to come over and eat before leaving Stohess?” Your Father asked wholeheartedly. 

“I think we’ll have time in two evenings,” Erwin said.

“We could have chicken—” Your mother started.

“Mother no! Let’s have braised beef.” You said.

During the rest of the gala, you couldn’t help yourself from glancing at the survey corps. A few times Levi and you locked eyes. You wanted to keep looking at him but remained focused on every one your parents introduced you to. Why did your father have to mention you barely being able to run? Sure you didn’t run much, but you could improve if you worked at it. Now Levi only knows that you have poor stamina. You needed to find a way to make a good impression on Levi. Perhaps a small gift would make him remember you? And you have a day to find one before the survey corp came over for dinner. 

The following day, you begged your mom to disregard your intention to interrupt reading time. You wanted to go shopping in town to find something for Levi. When you told your mom about wanting to find a small gift for Levi she teased you. You instantly regretted it, however, she let you miss reading time to go into town. You asked her to promise you that she won’t tell Levi about the gift until you give it to him. Your mother had one condition about going into town. She told you that you had to have MPs escort you.

In your teen years, you’ve argued with your parents that there was no need for the Military Police to escort you. After graduating from Einrich College you were especially adamant about it. Most of the time it was a losing battle. 

You combed your hair and made sure it lay nicely. You put on pearls and made sure your clothes looked nice. You put on a nice full-length dress that hasn’t been worn yet. The dress made your hair color look pretty and stand out. 

When you were heading to leave you thought you could sneak out the front door without the MPs. Of course, they followed you and you rolled your eyes because your mother assigned two. One would have been enough. The two MPs with you have been the few employed with your family most of your life. 

When walking through the shops with the MPs following you, nothing caught your eye for what Levi may like. It was a gamble because you didn’t know much about him. You wanted to find something small and something he could have with him at all times to remember you. You hoped Levi would like the gift and then start falling for you. Though he did not seem like the kind of guy your parents wanted you to marry. He was a high-ranking official for the survey corps though.

When walking out of a clothing shop you spotted Erwin across the street. He seemed to be alone, no Levi or Hange with him 

“Commander Erwin!” You waved and then ran after him the MPs shouted at you not to run and they burst after you. “Hi, commander! Are you out shopping? Are you alone?” He seemed surprised to see you and he glanced at the MPs on either side of you.

“Hello Y/N. Nice day isn’t it?” He said politely. 

“Yes! Is Levi here?” You asked. “And Hange?” 

“They’re nearby. Possibly getting something in that shop over there,” Erwin pointed at a small cafe that you’ve been to many times. 

“It’s so nice to see you! I’m excited for you to come over tomorrow. I’m just in town to buy a gift for Levi but DON’T TELL HIM!” You said excitedly.

“A gift?” Erwin furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Yes! But please don’t tell him!” You said. He laughed at your youth.

“I won’t.”

“Thanks! I’m going to talk to him and Hange! See you tomorrow!” You waved and dashed off to the cafe along with the MPs being forced to chase after you. 

“MISS L/N! STOP RUNNING!” They yelled. When you got to the cafe in the window you saw Levi and Hange inside. They were sitting at a table with a small plate of treats and cups of tea. Your heart raced. Levi looked so cute sitting there. You turned to the MPs you had known most of your life.

“Do I look okay?” You asked.

“Yes, Miss L/N. Please no more running.” 

“I’m sorry,” You said. When you walked in the owner who had known you most of your life gave you a big smile when he spotted you. 

“Miss L/N! Your usual?” He asked and you saw Levi and Hange looking at you. You waved at them and you grinned. 

“Yes thank you!” You walked over to Levi and Hange. Hange looked excited to see you and Levi looked normal. “Hi Hange, hi Levi.”

“Y/N! What a coincidence!” Hange cheerfully said. 

“Hi,” Levi said and sipped his tea. They both glanced at the MPs on either side of you. 

“Are you drinking the black tea?” You asked. “This place has the best black tea! I’ve come here since I was a child.”

“Yes, it’s good,” Levi said.

“Wonderful!” You said. “I’m excited for you guys to come over for dinner! I know you’ll like the braised beef!” 

“What are you doing in town?” Hanged asked.

“I’m out shopping!” Levi rolled his eyes and though you didn’t feel offended, you knew soon he would be grateful for the gift you’re going to find. “Hey, it’s rude to roll your eyes!” You shoved his shoulder playfully yet hard enough to catch him off guard. Hange laughed. 

“She got you there, Levi.” 

“Yeah Levi, good thing my parents didn’t let me in the cadet corp, I would beat you up.” You said hoping he would laugh. Hange did. 

“Not bad for a spoiled brat like you.” He said with a smirk and wiped off his shoulder. 

“Hey, I’m not a spoiled brat!” You shoved him a little harder. 

“Miss L/N, he’s humanity's strongest soldier.” One of your MPs said chuckling.

“Yeah, well, that’s only because I’m not in the military regiment.” You and Hange laughed. “Are you guys enjoying Stohess? What do you think of the town?” You asked. The owner of the cafe brought over your usual: a chocolate pastry. “Thank you!” Then the kind owner brought over a chair for you to sit on. 

“It’s a nice district, very clean,” Hange said. You looked to Levi and raised his eyebrows waiting for a response. 

“Very clean is correct.” You found his voice fairly attractive. 

“Wonderful! Stohess is one of the districts with great architecture too.” You said. You started splitting your chocolate pastry into three equal parts. “Here try this it’s delicious!” You offered to Hange and Levi.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Hange said and took a bite. She moaned. Levi took a bite too.

“It’s tasty, thank you,” Levi said.

“You liked that? I don’t think it’s hard to make. Maybe I can try to learn to make it for you.” You said with hope and Levi just stared at you. You smiled at him and noticed him looking up and down at you. Your heart skipped a beat because it seemed like he was checking you out. “I’m excited for you guys to come over tomorrow and I can get to know you both more! I’d love to hear more about your experiments with the titans!” Hange perked up.

“Yes, I am ready for any questions you have. Perhaps your knowledge in chemistry will provide some ideas on gathering more information about the titans?”

“Oh I’m not sure about that, but I’ll do my best.” You noticed the door of the cafe open and Erwin stepping in. Suddenly you felt a wave of embarrassment when he looked at you and then at Levi. “Okay, I should get back to my shopping! I’ll see you tomorrow night then?! Bye!”

“Bye Y/N!” Hange said. You rush off with your MPs following you.

“Bye Commander Erwin!” You rushed off not giving a chance for him to speak.

You spent the rest of the day looking for something for Levi. As the sun started going behind the wall it felt hopeless. Nothing seemed like something Levi would like. The MPs suggested making your way back home, but you kept bargaining for just one more store. While walking past a window display of a store, you realized you may have found your gift. It was a little unconventional, but maybe Levi will remember you even when he leaves Stohess. It was perfect he could always keep your gift with him and it was small. Levi will never forget you after you give him your gift.

Part 2 masterlist

[turn-my-hollow-purple]

Random AI Headcanon Generator of AOT characters

I just plugged in AOT character names to a generator and they gave me headcanons so enjoy✨ as an Annie kinnie I live for hers (Erwin’s is my favorite tho). Tag yourself

cw: none

Eren: “Eren is a simp”

Armin: “Armin needs a nightlight to sleep”

Mikasa: “Mikasa has chronic nightmares”

Connie: “Connie tells dad jokes”

Sasha: “Sasha would buy clothes from the soup store”

Jean: “Jean doesn’t own a single pair of matching socks”

Hange: “Hange does not know how to read”

Erwin: “if the source material was a musical, Erwin would be the one character that asks why everyone is singing”

Levi: “Levi has fallen asleep at their desk while working in the middle of the night”

Reiner: “Reiner desperately needs a hug but doesn’t know it and refuses to ask for one”

Bertholdt: “Bertholdt is a great artist”

Annie: “Annie isn’t allowed to drink energy drinks”

Ymir: “Ymir can play the guitar”

Historia: “Historia is a sleepwalker”

[stargirlie-sharon]

hey! do you do aot headcanons?

if you do, could you perhaps do erwin x fem reader comfort headcanons?

I've had a very rough week and feel emo D:

thank you,

-d 🧸

Hello! I haven't done any AOT headcanons before on tumblr, but I am in the AOT fandom (and I'm a big fan, I just haven't really done much AOT x reader stuff), so I'll see what I can can do! Thank you so much for your request!

Erwin Smith x Reader Comfort Headcanons ♡

For these headcanons, I've made the reader gender neutral, so the reader's gender is free to be interpreted in your own way! If that's alright. :>

As soon as Erwin finds out you're having a bad day..

B E A R H U G S (if you're comfortable with them)

If you're not exactly a touchy person, he'll respect that and just talk to you.

He's very gentle and patient with you, and is a good listener. Will let you vent to you for as long you need.

If you need some time alone, he'll give you some space if needed.

This guy, despite being the commander of the Scout Regiment, will turn into the biggest softie for you.

Will put his paperwork on hold to take care of you.

Will make some tea for you, borrowed from Levi.

Erwin may do an attempt at lightening the mood by making horrible dad jokes. So horrible that they're good.

Will let you have a break from missions and assignments.

Thank you for reading! This was my first time writing something related to AOT, so I hope you like it. ^^ Sorry if it's a bit short.

DNI if: NSFW, kink, proship, bigot, terf, and any fandom that has really problematic content.

[the-traveling-poet]

Headcannon no.3

════════════════════════════════════════

Dad Jokes

(I promise Imma eventually get to the more romantic headcannons bUT HEAR ME OUT-)

Commander Eyebrows is the MASTER of dad jokes.

Dude may not be a father himself, but let’s be honest.

All his subordinates are his children.

He’s always so serious during meetings and speeches, but behind closed doors?

A menace. Unrelenting as he finally has a chance to rattle off some of his own father’s favorite jokes to his friends.

9 times out of 10, he’ll remain professional. Maybe one or two corny jokes will slip out, but he’ll keep it polite.

Give him a few drinks, or get him comfortable with his closest friends though?

One time Levi stated he was thirsty, when referring to his now empty cup of tea.

Cue an evil grin from Erwin.

“Hello thirsty, I’m Erwin.”

Levi threatened to retire early from the Survey Corps.

That time Mike forgot something in Erwin’s office after taking his leave?

“Long time no see, stranger.”

Mike told him he smelled like a bitch while rolling his eyes.

Seriously, this man can’t not be such a dad.

One time, Nike Dok asked his old friend how things were going for him now that he was commander of the survey corps. 

Not missing a beat, “Living the dream.”

Modern AU Erwin would answer phone calls with “ ‘yello?’ “

“What’s the damage?” He’d ask Hange whenever they would present to him the document that recorded the yearly costs of the Scout Regimen.

A young Eren once made a comment about the difficulties of life as a teenager in the scouts.

“Well, when I was your age-“

Mans slaps his thigh when hearing a funny joke.

Overall headcannon that Erwin is A Dad.

[arminsumi]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍼 ꒱ LEVI BEING A DAD

░ 🌹 Levi x fem!reader

⚠️Cws; domestic fluff

░ 🍼Dad!Levi tears up when he first holds his newborn in his arms. He stares at his little bundle of joy analytically, searching its features for any that are reminiscent of its pretty mama.

░ 🍼Dad!Levi insists on teaching your child martial arts from as young as their toddler years 🤭 especially if he's raising a little girl. He wants them to grow up strong and independent. It settles his nerves knowing that his angel can defend herself when papa isn't around.

░ 🍼Dad!Levi requires a lot of convincing to attend his children's imaginary teaparties. He will sit there, grumpily, dressed up like a king next to his queen. "King Levi! Do you want more tea!" his daughter asks in a tiny voice. He keeps his arms folded, but his serious face melts as his heart melts, and he's stifling a smile as he replies; "Of course, princess."

░ 🍼Dad!Levi will soothe your crying baby back to sleep at 4 AM, no hesitation. "No, no, go back to sleep. I've got it." he mumbles tiredly, and lumbers off to the source of the piercing cries.

░ 🍼Dad!Levi never thought he'd make it to see the day he married you, let alone build a loving family with you. All the things that were absent in his childhood, he spoils his own children with.

░ 🍼Dad!Levi stern and strict on his little troopers, even when they're babies and have no idea what he's talking about. You reckon he's joking. Levi has a complicated deadpan humor that you only understand if you know him well.

░ 🍼Dad!Levi calls on trusty Armin when his kids need a tutor to help with their academics. And who will help teach his kids to stand up for themselves? Eren and Mikasa. Not forgetting, of course, Erwin, who shows them how to be couth.

░ 🍼Dad!Levi gets nagged to retell his unbelievable war stories to his kids. Come adolescence, they're saying "C'mon dad! We've heard this story a million times." and it makes him laugh. They have no idea, no story quantifies his valor.

░ 🍼Dad!Levi will spoon you in bed, mumbling into your hair about how he can't believe the kids are growing up so fast.

[soldiersscream]

"What do snowmen call their offspring?"

....

"Chill-dren"

[lying-on-floors]

Modern AU things...

The AU

Some headcanons

Bertholdt has an older sister, Freya. Their father, Suraj, moved his family from India to Massachusetts after their mother died. Freya is working towards her medical degree, while Berthodlt is working towards his psychology degree. English is their second language, but they're both proficient enough that no one questions where they're from.

Bertholdt and Freya did classical ballet, and that's where they met Annie. She and Bert became friends soon enough, and then she met Reiner through Bert. Now, they're a dynamic trio.

Pieck's been dating her butch boyfriend for almost two years.

Colt and Pieck are childhood best friends, and she introduced Colt to Porco. The two men began dating after being friends for a few years.

Pieck and Porco always went to school dances together as friends. They tried dating once in middle school, but it never went anywhere, and neither were all too interested.

Marco and Ymir are first-generation Italian American, and both speak fluent Italian. Their mom moved from Italy to Massachusetts with her parents when she was 18. She met a second-generation Italian American man while going to a New Jersey college.

Gabi moved in with Reiner and Bertholdt when she was 16 after her parents divorced. Reiner blames himself because he has issues but also because his mom died and she wouldn't have needed to stay with her brother in the first place if he didn't cause his dad to leave. (His thoughts, the poor boy did nothing wrong.)

Gabi, Falco, Udo, Zofia, and Kaya carpool every now and then. Mainly, when Colt lets Falco borrow the car.

Porco and Piecks girlfriend, Miles, both wear the same cologne. (Your choice.)

Gabi plays volleyball. Reiner and Bert often try to make it to her games. Her parents don't show up for her much anymore. They've kind of declined over the years as she's gotten older. Reiner's always been there for her. Colt, Falco, Pieck, Jean, Armin, and Mikasa often go support her.

Zofia and Udo have a sweet little relationship. They've been dating since their freshman year of high school. They're silly.

Colt, like his mom, is an artist. He specializes in portraits, which is the same thing his mom specializes in. They spent a lot of time when he was growing up painting together. Cecilia has always encouraged it. She keeps large boxes of all of her kids' art and creations, including Pieck, who is the honorary third Grice sibling.

Colt's mom, Cecilia, is battling cancer at 53. She was 48 when she found out she had cancer. The only person who knew, aside from her medical doctors, was Gideon, Pieck's father, her childhood best friend. He later died due to a lung infection.

When Cecilia was too physically ill to hide her diagnosis from her kids, she sat them down to break the news to them. Her best friend was dead, so she had to do it alone. Colt was kind of mad that his mom kept this from him, but he knew he would've done the same thing.

Colt and Falco's dad, Ben, died in a work accident when Colt was 13.

Porco's older brother, Marcell, died (ik I'm sorry :/) when he was little from an accident. Porco still struggles with it and confides in Pieck and Colt the most about it. They're the only two people who have seen Porco cry since Marcell died.

Carla Yeager adopted Zeke when he was young. She then had Eren. Grisha died because he sucks and I don't like him.

Zeke and Eren argue often, and Zeke tends to be a bit overbearing, but he means well. Both of the yaeger boys are a bit annoying but Carla is an angel.

Levi is Mikasa's older cousin. He and Erwin adopted Mikasa after her parents died in a car crash when she was 7.

Carla and Levi often have tea together. They're shopping and gossip buddies.

Colt doesn't have many friends outside of Pieck, his boyfriend, and Marco. He and Marco became friends in high school after becoming partners on a science project. They shared a drunken kiss, but nothing came of it. It's an inside joke now.

Bertholdt's childhood nickname, "Bear," has stuck to him for life. Only close friends and family use it, though.

Speaking of childhood nicknames, Jean's mom still calls him "Jeanbo." He doesn't mind it much anymore, but it is a little embarrassing. Marco teases him about it all the time, lovingly, though.

Annie and Hitch live a state away, so they don't get to see their friends in person that often, but they do FaceTime a lot.

Bertholdt and his family are all super tall. He's 6'3, his sister is 6'0, and his dad is 6'2. His mom was 5'10.

Connie is Afro-Hispanic. He's also a trans man.

Sasha, Connie, Jean, and Marco all became friends in elementary school after being in the same after-school club. (What was it? Idk, choose.)

Hitch and Marlow are best friends. They did have a crush on each other in middle school, but it wasn't actually a crush. They just didn't know what to label it.

Marco's nickname amongst his friends (Connie and Sasha) is "Freckle Guy."

Colt spends a lot of time taking care of his mom, who has been getting better but is often on bed rest. She hides a lot of her pain from her kids, never wanting to involve them in it. She wants them to be as worry free as possible. She's a very strong woman and I admire her.

Jean hasn't come out to his grandad, Pops, yet. He's a devout Christian man who has talked about his hatred of queer people. Now, Jean isn't religious, but his mom and grandad are. He came out to his mom by accident. It was a drunken confession. She was pretty accepting of him, as she didn't share her father's views.

Marco and Jean often babysit Marco's young cousins. They're great babysitters. Historia and Ymir are like the fun aunts who probably shouldn't be left in charge too long.

Ymir is a chaos agent, and Historia is a chaos enabler.

This is all for now, I'll probably come up with more.

[starshower1215]

Detective Hange Zoë (with team Erwin and Levi)

She smokes a pipe like Sherlock Holmes and dresses in a trenchcoat of the similar style. Unlike Sherlock, she wears it in her Hange style of draping it over her shoulders

Saxophone music. Blues. I do not need to elaborate.

There are two newspaper-boy style hats (called cabbie hats specifically): the one for men (it is flat) and one for women (it is puffy). Hange has donned both.

She is perfect for being a spy. She can enter a bar to listen in on conversation in a sleek dress, hair down, and then follow the informant home under a different disguise, dressed in a suit, her hair done as usual, and she would pull off both disguises.

Erwin is part of her team, and he has a very grand selection of golden, bronze, copper, elegant watches. He likes to switch. He and Hange are the brains.

Levi is part of her team, and he isn't good at not looking suspicious or threatening, so he generally works as The Guy who stalks the informant [stealthily] home and murders him. Oddly enough, as the clean freak of the group, he is the one getting his hands dirty.

For a change of pace, Erwin is also comedic relief. The trio may have someone cornered, and Levi may be about to stone the man, but Erwin will still make a lame pun and/or dad joke about the victim being between a rock and a hard place, with a completely straight face that only Levi and Hange can read as amused, and Hange will go bonkers while Levi just despises them both [fondly].

They get exclusive tickets into a Rich People Place, where the target is, but only get their hands on two. Erwin and Hange hide Levi inside one of their enormous trenchcoats (to his dismay).

Hange wears her shiny glasses. Erwin wears a monocle and insists that it looks cool.

When they go to a bar together to celebrate a successful mission, Erwin holds his drink well, Hange is the lightweight, and Levi is boring and orders water (jk).

Erwin has a secret chocolate stash in his trenchcoat's inside pocket. Hange knows but Levi doesn't.

Hange pins various snacks to the insides of his coat so he can whip it open to reveal an array of food to choose from on the go. He somehow manages to keep the wrappers and bags from crinkling lously when he walks.

Levi does the same, but with sponges. No one is sure why and he glares at whoever asks.

Erwin figures out who is behind the trouble, but Hange develops the plan to catch them. This is the contrast of their minds: Erwin analyzes and Hange designs.

Hange has a special selection of lollipops in her coat just for Levi (whether he accepts them or not is for you to decide).

On stealth missions to fancy Rich People Places, they have a whole GRWM style preparation in one bathroom like school girls before prom (it's more professional than that, obviously, totally), and Hange and Levi make very good use of Erwin's hair gel.

Hange fixes Levi's hair to make him look like mini Erwin.

Hange is the one who performs autopsies on dead bodies for further evidence. She learns a lot about different kinds of poisons this way.

They take city buses around rainy streets at night, illuminated by the faint yellow glow of street lights. The three of them sit in comfortable silence in the seats, each reading separate books because it's an aesthetic.

Levi wears his fedora hat (what type of hat is it?) and likes striped coats.

They all go to libraries and search through the city's old newspapers for information, or through dusty books and scrolls to find out what this symbol they keep seeing means, or what relations this man had with that one (this is quickly becoming dark academia)

Hange and Levi team up with each other and make fun of Erwin for his reading material choices when they get on the bus.

If the bus is full, Erwin or Hange will hold onto the bus rail things and Levi holds onto them because they Know Him.

Hange carries a little leather bound notebook in her pockets even off the job, in case she runs into something important.