#erwin smith x reader modern au

[riewritten]

what do you think Erwin considers himself that he sucks at but at the same time he enjoys doing it? suddenly i thought of tiktoks that are like "having a hobby you're bad at is okay". do you have any hobbies you consider yourself not good at too?

tbh i think the "bad" and "good" stuffs are all social constructs, but i'm still struggling with crocheting just bc i think i suck but at the same time i know that's something i do for relax. still sometimes i can't afford to think that way??? do you have the same problem and have you overcome it? i have no idea if this is a prompt or just me asking you stuffs.

do you often project what you're thinking into your writing and visual arts and any other form of art?

oh my god this is getting nowhere 🥲🥲 thank you for reading Rie. have a good day!!!

THE BEST BIRTHDAY

ERWIN SMITH X GEN NEUTRAL!READER

TAGS: fluff, slice of life, kissing, comfort, office romance AU, idiots in love, insecurities, and AAAA HAPPEE BIRTHDAY ERWIN (this also goes with my most recent ask)

WORDS: 2.9k

hi @frenchdyer ❤ i know i took this long bc i've been thinking about this. like the otherworldly self-reflectio i only tend to have once in a year or whenever i'm PMS-ing lol. how's your crocheting? were you able to improve somehow months after you had sent me this msg? my sister gifted me a crochet kit, so i've been planning to learn, too!

on a personal note, the hobby i suck at but enjoy doing nonetheless is drawing! perhaps it's a self-esteem issue, but i've been drawing since i was 5. the passion came to me even before i learned how to write! due to the amount of years i've been trying to master it only to have minimal progress, i can say drawing is smth i can never admit i'm good at. but i came to terms to it now (when i was in highschool i was so insecure about it lol) and bc i did, i draw things to enjoy, not bc i'm utterly pressured to improve!

On the surface, even his closest friends would have a different time answering this question. It's Erwin we're talking about, after all! The literal embodiment of academic perfection and charisma!

Erwin also wants to think of something other than an answer. Although he admits his flaws well when someone points them out, he wants to be good at everything as much as possible. For a perfectionist like him, self-admittance would mean giving up!

It is until you said something that made him recnsider. "Sometimes, I don't see you as a human."

In hindsight, the context of your question was, "What do you want to have for your birthday?" but Erwin seems to be the type to already have the things he'd want and need in life, perhaps if one were to speak materially. Every gift he'd receive would only impact him a little, and you want to change that.

He chuckles at the remark, amused as your features remain serious, "Do I feel like an alien?"

"Dunno," you shrug without turning up at him—only at the papers, hiding a frustrated blush. "And if you're actually a slimy organism underneath? It scares me."

You hear the office chair sliding towards you, and as swift as ever, Erwin's hand is on top of yours. He squeezes it gently, and you try to hold your fluster by glaring at him. Luckily. Only the two of you are in the office; what would the others say if they saw this? You and Erwin made it clear to keep your relationship hidden by acting 'decent' in public places.

He lets you feel its warmth first, although unsure of the reason why, then he guides your hand towards his cheeks. He presses your palm on it. 

"W-what?"

Erwin casually leans his cheek to your palms, albeit with a tranquil expression contrary to you, perhaps amusingly watching your reaction. "Mind repeating what you said earlier?"

"I said underneath. Hypothetically. And I don't mean it literally as well."

"Underneath? Well, that's quite a unique way of asking me to—"

You swatted your hand away and lightly hit his chest as you couldn't hold the fluster. "Stop playing with me. I'm not done yet."

"Well, I'm done."

"Please don't make it my problem."

"I'm actually offering to help."

You perk up in glee. If Erwin's to help, then you might as well consider yourself done. You pulled your chair away from your desk so Erwin could look at it.

However, Erwin asks something completely unrelated amidst the heap of your paperwork. "Why do you not see me as a human?"

"You feel like some sort of god."

"Silly, that's a metaphor that would fit you more."

"Oh, you. Stop flustering me." you huff in sarcasm. "You know about the crocheted scarf I was planning to give you before winter ends?"

"Yeah, and it's summer already. I'm still waiting for it, though."

"I threw it away."

"Huh?" Erwin looks at you in surprise, eyebrows twitched in confusion, perhaps in a whine. He knows you've been trying so hard for it. "Why would you?"

"I'm not good at it."

"But you were enjoying it. You told me so."

"Not because I enjoy it means I'm good at it," you then smile in defeat. "Let's just say I'm not as fast at learning as you are, no matter how much the task interests me. Maybe that's why I sometimes can't deem you human, too. Too good for me, I think."

Erwin could only observe you afterward. You don't try to make it a big issue, none but admittance that unpretentiously comes out of your mouth. As much as it is, perhaps, concerning self-esteem, Erwin is the one hit by it. The way you could admit your flaws a bit too easily and go home without pondering on it is something he couldn't easily do even if he tried. It takes one to help overcome an insecurity and another to admit his own.

"That's not true."

"It is. You really excel at everything, Erwin. That's something I also yearn to have for myself. You don't have flaws. Or, well, let's say you have one, but no normal being can see it so easily."

Well, you were able to lay down his flaws then and there. After all, he's having difficulty coming to terms with his flaws—or perhaps, on saying such admittances out loud. You are right. As much as Erwin demands you to open yourself up to him, some facets stay unsaid because he opts to and wants to remain an ideal image, perhaps one who can only admit his inadequacy if someone points it out. You're the complete opposite, though. You could admit your flaws and still end the day happily. The 'incompatibility', or so you might call it, could be giving him a hard time consoling you.

Oh, and when he recently enjoys consoling you the most. He really appreciates having you open up to him, enjoys the privilege of being able to take care of you as you let him, enjoys listening to your blabbers, and offers resolutions just like the strategic man he is. After all, he's one of the few people who sees that.

Only if he doesn't suck doing it.

"Oh no, did I say something that upset you?" you ask worriedly, sensing his silence.

And he's not the one to be given comfort right now, or so he thinks. It's as if you hit a nail, albeit unaware of how and where it hit him.

Just as if closing the distance is the needed nudge, Erwin pulls your figure towards him, holds both cheeks and surrenders to sweet kisses. Erwin's lips are warm, and the pace is languid. Yet, it's overwhelming enough to deprive you of your senses, let alone the urgent question of why he is suddenly acting the way he is. This might be the first time he got intimate with you inside the workplace. You know this type of kiss from him, too—he does it whenever he's dreary or after working on a significant research paper that got him weary.

The worry reverberates, and thus, you withdraw from the kiss, "Is this because of the scarf? I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have thrown it away. Don't worry, I'll make another one and—hmph!"

He cuts you off for another kiss, harsher this time, perhaps classified as a silent sulk for cutting off the lovely exchange, but no—you're wrong. It's not on you at all. Erwin is frustrated with himself. He holds onto your waist until you're seated on his lap and wraps his hand around your neck to press you further to his chest—hoping it would compensate for the distance you two have due to his inadequacies. To be great in giving you solace is to be vulnerable and imperfect; how could he do that?

He withdraws when both of you need air, albeit begrudgingly, "I'm sorry, Erwin. I know you waited for that scarf."

"No, it's not about that."

"Then what?"

He pretended to ponder for a few seconds, eyes roaming the room to gather his words. He pursed his lips before pointing out, "Don't you think the way you perceive me as a human far beyond you is a flaw I might have? Partners are not supposed to see each other that way."

"I'm merely exaggerating."

"Yes, but still."

"Are you saying you must apologize to me because you're such a perfect being?"

"No, because I'm failing to show you that I'm not."

Oh. 

You finally see where he's coming from. "Are you failing by choice?"

He averts his gaze away, "Yes."

"Then it can really be a flaw," you flash him a sympathetic smile, moving his face so he'd see you in the eyes again, "can you tell me why?"

“I'm not brave enough to show it the way other people do."

"You just did, honey."

"Not because I want to, but because I'm insecure about my inability to console you like a normal partner would. The way you perceive me right now says a lot about our distance. And mind you, doing this isn't even supposed to be this hard."

Both of you stopped. That is by far the most vulnerable thing he had said about himself since you started dating months ago—and it wouldn't even sound vulnerable unless it came out of Erwin's mouth. That's how hard he's been all this time.

He expects you to be annoyed. After all, that might be one of the shallowest reasons he had ever given, too.

But then you smile as if you appreciate him for saying that much—just as if you know it takes a lot for the Erwin Smith to admit something like that, "It's not something you can unlearn overnight. Do not fret."

He lets out a defeated chuckle, "That I know well."

"What's strange is that I'm not your first partner. How come this didn't become a problem with your previous ones?"

"Because people are content to perceive me that way. At some point, I preferred that, too. Honestly—" he leans his head on your shoulder, hands on your waist to keep your balance on his lap, "had it not affected the way I console you, I would prefer things to stay that way."

You pepper him with kisses all over his face, something he accepts as a reward, "Honestly, I would prefer you this way, too. A relationship with a god can be a bit of a struggle, after all."

"Indeed it is. What a struggle I have right now."

You glare at him, "What do you mean by that?"

He shakes his head nothing, hands lurking inside your shirt to feel you more, to shower you with reverence, "Let me finish this now. I miss our bed."

Today is his birthday, and you still need to think of a gift that could be deemed special.

As a last-minute reflection before giving up the gift that has been frustrating you for days, you try to ponder on the previous days since he opened up.

Erwin has become more talkative since then. He's always been chatty towards you since you started the relationship, especially when info dumping. However, this has a stark difference. He's trying too much as if matching an expectation no one but him had set up. Wording it as "forced" would perhaps hurt, but it's not something you could deny, either. Only when afternoon came did you realize how to fix it, with Erwin on a couch and crochet yarns on his lap. He has his phone at the coffee table and the familiar tutor video playing in the background. Eventually he sighs, unties the yarn, and repeats—this time with much precision, and you couldn't help but smile. When Erwin is about to learn something new, he locks himself in his office and spends the whole day studying it alone. Only now did you finally unravel why, and it's apparently part of his mentioned flaw that night.

He might be forcing himself lately, but it's the adjustment that counts.

Erwin perks up in surprise when you sit beside him and hold his hand. You guide his fingers into the correct way of tying the knot. You didn't say anything, and maybe you even tried to act like it's an everyday routine. Erwin pretends to listen and pick up the techniques you're blabbering, but in reality, he's just looking at your face. His lips are flat but twitching as he's trying to hold the urge to steal a kiss. He tries to inhale longer to indulge in the scent of your hair but not too much to call your attention. And as the moment passes, thirty minutes, perhaps because the video's finally done playing in the background, Erwin realizes something.

Just… just what held him back from being like this towards you? This is, in fact, a short step. The bare minimum, even. And even so, it felt genuinely liberating. Indeed, he's been forcing himself to be vulnerable recently, but this is the first time it exuded a positive feeling. 

Your hands gently stop, the instruction's done, and Erwin only realizes when you turn to look him in the eye, "You get it?"

"The what?"

"Huh?"

"Oh," Erwin tries to recall what his blank, sappy head might have digested so far, only to no avail. The only thing coming up in his mind right now is the smell of your shampoo. Perhaps his nerdy brain is trying to guess the unfamiliar flavor mix and earn your praise once his guess is correct. "I—uh—"

"You didn't listen at all."

He smiles, guilty.

You sigh, "I'm quite persistent, you see. We're not eating dinner until we both master this knot."

"Wouldn't this wait? I'm not in the mood anymore."

You shake your head and untie the yarn. But just as you're about to quip at his newfound impatience (and how cute he is trying to get the hang of it like a little kid learning origami), Erwin grasps the tool away from your hands and cups your cheeks.

He first lands a chaste peck on your forehead, then the bridge of your nose, then the tip of it, then the two cheeks, and finally, it deepens when he reaches for your mouth.

And because you are indeed a persistent being, you have no idea how shamelessly grateful Erwin was when you did more than just pull him in. He tried to stop himself, after all, for seconds in case it'd do anything better. Maybe you're not in the mood; perhaps you want to see the side of him not knowing better and learning things together. But when his palm glided on your cheek and your eyes widened in response, the tremor in his nerves overpowered the need to ask. 

Perhaps the tremor was gratitude because here he is, not getting any younger, and yet, this is only his first genuine step to face his vulnerability. 

You kiss him back and wrap your arm around his neck to pull him in, albeit quite sure why he's suddenly kissing you like this.

Unlike the previous one, his kisses are full of gentleness, and not a tinge of frustration can be seen. His hands, although huge and hard, slide inside your shirt so softly to feel your bare skin. You withdraw a bit to ask what might be the matter, but quickly forget the question when you see his face. He's blushing as though it's the first time he has kissed like this. His eyes are pretty lidded, lips a bit open, and you realize that although you had seen this expression before, it was for a very brief moment—not immediately after a chaste kissing session. 

He looks at you, quite disappointed for cutting the kiss short again. He grabs you by the ankle until you're sitting on his lap.

"Did something happen?"

He shakes his head, "Saying it out loud would be sappy."

"If you think I'd forgive you for spacing out while I'm—kyah!"

He starts sucking on your neck, "Shut up and don't ruin the moment."

"The what? Hey, don't mark on it. I'm warning you."

Erwin really wants to explain his thoughts. He's sure you'd be glad if you were to know all of this. Even though he could never perceive this as a significant step beyond, he bet you'd be giggling and jumping once you know.

He looks up and tries to explain but realizes how tired he is holding everything in—it took him decades. Erwin addressed it only after loving someone so ardently that he was willing to give up years-long prideful habits—all to love you more. He is exhausted, and your lips are so soft and so near, offering the sheer comfort he needs. It's parted slightly; if his tongue were to slip inside, it would send him into great bliss. Erwin is exhausted right now; perhaps he’d share his thoughts after this overwhelming, trembling warmth subsides.

For now, he at least tries to give a small context, "This is the best birthday I've ever had."

"Y-you think so?!" What have you done? You've been thinking about it for months! How could it happen without you knowing? "We spent the day indoors. We haven't even done anything special yet."

"You'd get quite full of yourself if you knew."

"You're trying to escape for not listening to my crochet blabbers."

"I don't want to get sappy today. Can't we just continue?"

"Well, uh… I really want to know what I did," you avert your gaze away. "I've been at the edge lately, thinking of ways to make you say you got the best birthday today—with me. Now that you finally say it, however…"

Again, it's as if you hit a nail, albeit unsure where and how you did.

"And there you have it. Your answer."

"Huh?" It took you a while to process that. "Because you're with me?"

He nods, albeit in a teasing manner.

"Eek. The sap shudders me."

"That's why I asked if we could just continue where we left off."

"The crocheting, indeed." you tease, but as you're about to reach the tool again, Erwin carries you up in his arms. He doesn't even need to tell you where he'd bring you. The impatient man would straight up lead you to bed to show what he wants.

Instead of scolding him for cutting the lecture off, you sigh and muffle your head in his neck, "You have to thank god it's your birthday today."

"Oh, yes of course," he kisses the crown of your head. "Thank you, dear."

TAGLIST: sorry for causing inconvenience with your notifs, my dears in taglist TT i wasn't planning to publish this tonight but the birthday request activated my brain neurons and said "what if u unload your WIPS and just publish this thing" so yea. sorry. @frenchdyer @watyousayin @collinnmckinley @aeanya @xiaotopia @cadenza-damour @grimistheangerinmystares @rinamars | STORY SUBSCRIPTION FORM

MORE OF SWEET SUBTLETIES SERIES HERE

[daemontargaryenwhore]

I showed this to my friend and he asked “is he dead or just tall?” and i didn’t know how to tell him it was both.

Ctto. @h.dante on TikTok 🫶🏻

[twilovesshuake]

Modern time high school teacher - student au

Y/n: Who's your favorite student?

Levi: Teachers aren't supposed to have favorites.

Y/n: Mr Erwin does

Levi: Of course he doesn't-

Erwin, walking in: Yes I do. Arlert is my favorite.

[exosalt]

aot headcanons - skincare edition

Armin

Slightly on the dry side but v sensitive

Has a pretty simple routine - cleanser, toner, moisturiser, aftershave etc

His products are high end and high quality

Knows exactly what to use for specific skin issues

Religiously uses SPF

Eren

Combination skin but slightly on the oilier side

Doesn’t have a skincare routine

Uses 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash on his face when he’s in the shower

Steals Armin’s and Mikasa’s skincare products

Uses them wrong

Refuses to use SPF in winter

Mikasa

Normal balanced skin

Literally only needs cleanser and SPF and that’s IT

Likes trying out new face masks and sheet masks

Physically has to hold Eren down and rub SPF on his face

Levi

Used to have balanced skin like Mikasa but it dried out because he kept using hand sanitizer on his face

Cleanses twice a day but with antibacterial soap

Skin stills looks good because ✨Ackergenes✨

Jean

Combination and slightly acne-prone

Needs encouragement to use proper skincare

Not too fussed about following a proper routine, always forgets in the evening

Thinks growing a beard will cover the sins

Sasha

Has an oily T-zone

Tiktok is her main source of skincare info

Tried homemade Pinterest face masks but ended up eating it

Has a post on her Instagram of herself and Connie with face masks on and cucumbers over their eyes

Connie

Combination skin but slightly acne prone

Doesn’t really use anything special unless it’s recommended to him

“What’s your skincare routine?” “Water” - thinks that’s a flex

Loves trying new face masks with Sasha

Historia

Dry, sensitive skin but no one can ever tell because she’s perfected her skincare

Has a full 12 step routine

Loves giving skincare recommendations

Convinces Ymir to do spa nights with her

Reiner

Tears

LMAO jk jk his skincare is pretty simple

Has mostly normal skin but stress causes him to break out

Still trying to find products which work for him

Bertholdt

Oily + sensitive skin

Constantly forgets to use SPF

Doesn’t really matter because he sweats off all the product anyway

Annie

Combination skin

Constant dark circles

Uses super simple drugstore products

Only really focused on keeping her skin clean

Started using SPF because Armin suggested it

Marco

Combination skin but has an oily forehead

Doesn’t have a proper routine

Only buys products that are half off 🙃

Low-key scared he’ll exfoliate a freckle off

(The freckles demand love)

Ymir

Really only uses water and it works out fine

Doesn’t understand the skincare hype

Will still try out whatever Historia recommends for her

Erwin

this set

Hange

Doesn’t have a skincare routine

Likes putting weird things on their face just to see what effect they’ll have

Like they’ll rub a whole lemon on their face just to see what it does

Enjoys popping pimples

Miche

Soap goes up his nose every single day and impairs his sense of smell for like an hour afterwards

Cries when this happens

Prefers to keep it simple

Floch

Doesn’t wash his face

Crusty ass bitch

s/o to @sehun-cakes for helping me with this 😂

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 1: November

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, eventual smut (these update with every chapter)

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! This is my first time writing fanfiction in a loooooong time, like the last time I wrote was probably in 2011. So with that said please be kind with any feedback or comments. I hope you enjoy! (also I made Hange's pronouns she/her/them/they)

Edit (11/27/2023): Hey guys, welcome to my little world of Unspoken Words. I have quite literally used this story as a way to better myself as a writer. As you read on, you may find that I've progressed (ofc I have a long way to go) but because of that, my first few chapters might be rough. With your patience, you may find a liking to this story as I know I've loved writing every word of it.

☾ word count ➼ ~7.1k

20-something years ago 

You’re not sure how, but you find yourself sitting in the back of a big, white van. Red and blue lights danced in your eyes, and it felt like a thousand people surrounded you. Something plastic is placed on your face then you are instructed to breathe in deeply. You thought it was funny to be told to breathe, like you don’t just do it naturally, but you follow instructions regardless. It’s hard though, every part of your body hurts, chest included. Every breath you take feels like your insides are on fire.  

‘Fire’, you think.  

Everything is on fire.

Present Day

Levi stood blank faced as he meticulously cleaned the blender station for what felt like the 100th time today. The late afternoon rush had just tapered down so he took advantage of the next to empty café to clean as much as he could before closing for the evening.  

“It’s 20 degrees outside, how are people still wanting frozen drinks.” he murmurs to himself, placing the blender back in its spot. Levi turns to the front counter and slings the towel he was using to dry things onto his shoulder.  

His best friend, roommate, and business partner could be seen restocking some books on tall shelves, a gentle smile lighting up his boyish features. It’s been about a year and a half since they started this business venture together and they had no idea at the time how successful their bookstore-café combo would be in this small town.  

Erwin’s thirst for knowledge kept their shelves as variable as ever while Levi’s love for perfecting the art of tea kept the drinks flowing. The problem, however, was Levi’s lack of people skills. He was seldom seen at the register, nor would you ever see him smile or talk to the customers. He often would leave you with a grunt and a swift turn after handing off the drinks.  

No, for that, they had hired a couple of local highschoolers to do the facing work.  

“Mr. Smith, Levi?” a soft voice rang out to the left of him. Levi shifted his attention to a taller girl with shoulder length raven hair standing next to him. Being as Mikasa is his cousin, they found early on how weird it was to be called ‘Mr. Ackerman’ as they shared the same surname. It was this connection too that got them to where they are today.  

“Would it be okay if Eren and I take off a little early tonight? We have some big tests coming up and we’d like to take some extra time to study.” Mikasa shifted her dark eyes to the darkening windows as the sun set just over the horizon. Pinks and oranges flooded the partially clouded skies.  

”Tch.” Levi could not help but roll his eyes. He raised a brow at her and leaned back against the counter behind him for support. “Sure, I guess,” he continues. “But do you really need it or is it for that blockhead?”  

As if summoned by his words, Eren comes up from behind Mikasa and wraps a red scarf around his girlfriend’s neck, both of their jackets hanging off one of his arms. Eren is a good kid, always on time and followed directions, but the amount of sass he held in his body was something else. Levi and Erwin did not mind though, as he added a certain energy in the café that the customers seemed to enjoy. The two men wouldn’t say it out loud, but they really appreciated having them both on the team.  

“Hey, I heard that. And yes, I need to study desperately. Econ is so hard and for what?!” Eren’s teal eyes widened for emphasis. To add to it he even put on a fake pout.  

“I-”  

“Just take the trash with you on the way out and you’re good to go.” Erwin piped up from behind a bookshelf.  

Mikasa nodded in acknowledgement towards the voice, a silent thank you. Like Levi, she was not one for many words. He once thought it was an Ackerman thing but then he thought back to his annoying uncle and changed his mind quickly.  

With that, she and Eren both untangled the aprons from their bodies, grabbed their belongings, and picked up the trash bags that were already taken out of the cans. They opted to leave through the back since the dumpsters were located that way. Again, Levi wouldn’t say it to anyone out loud, but he really did like those kids.  

Erwin could be heard stacking more books into the shelves which left Levi to polish the counters again. It was the last hour before they closed so it stayed quiet for the most part, only interrupted by the sounds of scuffling shoes and books being placed on hard surfaces. Light jazz filled the rest of the silence. Then the bell signifying new customers rang from the front.  

“Levi, can you grab that?”  

The raven-haired man just huffed in response then stepped over to the register. His eyes fell on two figures right in front of him. A frazzled brunette and... you.  

Due to the season, you are bundled up in a thick parka and knitted beanie. A big scarf wraps around your neck and face so that all Levi could see is your flushed cheeks and thick lashed eyes. Truthfully, you reminded him of a marshmallow.  

“What’ll it be?” he asks, deadpan. The brunette is the one to respond, the voice loud enough to make him wince.  

“Hmmm... well one English breakfast tea latte with lots of room for sugar aaaaand I’ll take a peppermint hot chocolate. Oh, and extra whip! We’ll drink it here.” She fished out a card with a dramatic thwip and handed it to Levi’s outstretched hand.  Their café is one of those where if you were to stay, they offered washable cup ware as to keep the prices down on disposable cups. Not to mention the lessened ‘environmental impact’ as Erwin would say.  

Levi glances at you before turning to make both orders. You give a small wave and smile a little, but he was already working quickly on the drinks. 

He went into autopilot as he steeped the tea and steamed the milk. He really appreciated customers that ordered anything outside of coffee, especially when it came to tea. It’s not that he hated coffee, though it’s not like he liked it either, but it just wasn’t his thing. Coffee offered a different kind of bitterness that he wasn’t very fond of. With extra whipped cream in one and extra space in the other, he whirled around to place the drinks on the counter.  

The one with glasses is the one that picks them up and they promptly walk in the direction of where you currently sit, one of the tables in the back corner by the window. You were stripped of your big parka and scarf, though the beanie stayed. Your eyes were wandering around the café in wonder, and Levi was pretty sure this had to be your first time here. But truthfully, he wouldn’t know, he didn’t make it his business to know his customers. That was Erwin’s and the kids’ job. 

“The shelves are full and I’m exhausted.” Erwin came around the counter with a couple of empty boxes in his arms, heading straight for the back to the dumpster. Levi stepped back and leaned against the counter once again, his own black tea that had steeped while making yours cradled in his fingertips. He kept looking at his only customers while he sipped the black liquid. The teacup almost slipped out of his grip as he saw you dumping a large amount of sugar into your cup.  

 There you sit, extremely focused on the cup in front of you and lips pressed together tightly, almost as if you were afraid you’d put in too much. The sight would have been funny if you hadn’t just ruined your entire tea, he thinks to himself. You smile to yourself in satisfaction and put the sugar jar back where it came from. While you stir the sweetener in gently, the brunette in front of you talks animatedly. Hands were flying everywhere, and Levi could practically feel the energy radiating from the corner of the room.  You were doing the same, silently laughing. 

Suddenly the front door flew open, the bell ringing loudly with it. Levi grits his teeth, steeling himself for yet another customer interaction. But his shoulders dropped in relief at the sight of only Carly, Erwin’s girlfriend. She saunters up to the counter with a big smile aimed towards Levi and without even asking she slid behind the bar. Erwin had already made it from the back and was in the process of putting away the leftover ingredients from the day. Carly wraps her arms around her boyfriend and plants a big kiss on his face, to which Levi quickly looks away. It wasn’t weird for her to come in right as they were about to close.  

What was weird, he thought, was the shock that flooded your face as you eyed the very public display of affection. Levi knit his brows in confusion as the brunette pivoted in her seat to see what you were staring at. Their face fell, any evidence of a good time completely erased.  

“Carly?”  

The person in question whipped around so fast at the voice and the panic that exuded from her was palpable. She quickly unwrapped herself from Erwin’s embrace.  

“Hange.”  

If it wasn’t for the jazz in the background, the lengthy silence that followed would have been deathly.  

Carly clears her throat and laughs awkwardly.  

“Uh, why are you here?”  

The person named Hange just lifts their hot chocolate cup awkwardly, not really saying anything. Their eyes shift between Carly and Erwin, clearly understanding what had happened.  

“I-I’m sorry, you guys know each other?” Erwin sounds cautious, like he already knew the answer. Of course, he would, he isn’t dumb. His piercing blue eyes survey the situation, going back and forth between the two.  

“Well, uh. I-” Carly stutters, clearly at a loss of what to say in the predicament she found herself in.  

“She’s my girlfriend.” Hange claims calmly.  

This admission makes Erwin sigh heavily, confirming what he had pieced together. Levi stared at him in bewilderment as the man just chuckled quietly.  

“Well. I suppose that’s it then.” And with that he turns on his heel and stalks off to the back room. 

“Wait, Erwin I can explain!” She follows right on his heels and disappears into the back room as well. A minute later you can hear hysterical crying and calm retorts reverberating from the back. If Levi could shrink into the cabinets to get out of this situation, he would. Instead, he focuses on the other party who were having a very quiet and rushed discussion. Well, a one-sided discussion, as he only heard one voice.  

Levi, realizing it was almost time to close anyways, rushes to close the distance between him and the front door. He really did not want to have to deal with other customers while the drama unfurled. So, he flips the door sign to ‘Closed’ and unplugs the ‘Open’ neon sign hanging in the window. A couple walks by about to open the door, probably out for a café date from the looks of it. But they were only met with a dead stare from the sharpest eyes they’d ever seen. With that, they briskly turned around and left down the sidewalk.  

Levi spins around and from here he gets a better look at the two trapped customers. You were moving your hands all over the place like you were earlier. But with an even closer look he realizes you weren’t just talking animatedly with your hands; you were talking with them. You were signing. 

You reacted to your partner’s conversation just fine, so it was clear you had some sort of hearing. Your scarf now hung loose around your shoulders, and it looked like you had tears brimming in your eyes. Levi swiftly walks back to the counter; this is obviously not a conversation he needed to be a part of.

“Hey, don’t worry about me. It’s only been a couple of months. Really, it’s better to find out now than 3 years from now.” They laughed without humor. You know when Hange was saving face for your sake, she was never as sly as she thought she was.  

‘You don’t need to be strong right now.’ You sign then reach your hand out to touch her cheek softly. Physical touch had become your second language early on, if only to emphasize. Fortunately, Hange was okay with that and often embraced it with open arms.  

“I know, my little strawberry. I just need some time to process everything.” They pat you on the head lightly with a small grin. You swat their hands, blushing at the nickname you were so graciously given so many years ago.  But you nod back, knowing they would not change their mind.  

The tall blonde glides through the back door, alone. His face was grim as he tugged loose the tie around his neck.  

“Hange, was it?” He started walking towards you and your very startled sister.  

“U-uh yeah. That’s my name! Listen I had no idea, I’m so sorry. I would have said something obviously but-”, they take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. What’s your name again?”  

“Erwin Smith. There is nothing to apologize for as I can only assume there’s only one blame to be given. I hate that we must meet under such a circumstance, but it is truly nice to meet you.” He raises a hand waiting for a handshake.  

Hange takes it after a second of processing, shaking the hand vigorously with both hands.  

“Well, unfortunately it is what it is. I’m sure Carly and I will be speaking soon. I’m assuming she’s not just hiding back there.” They flick their gaze to the back door he had just come through.  

“Ah well, yes. Long gone... how long were you two...?”  

“Only like, 3 months or so. You?” 

He flinched at that and murmured, “3 Years.” 

Thinking back to her comment not 10 minutes ago, Hange bit their cheek.  

“Oh man I’m so sorry.”  

“No, please. It’s alright. None of this is yours or my fault. We couldn’t have known, but now we do.” Erwin chuckled to himself. You wonder if he’s trying to save face the way your sister did. His gaze now shifts to you. He is a very handsome man. To your extreme surprise, he starts signing to you. 

‘I'm sorry, who might you be? I noticed you signing earlier. I know a little from the books I have read.’ His crystal blue eyes sparkle at you as he signs. You can’t help but break out into a huge grin. You sign your name back and compliment him on his raw signing form.  

‘I am of hearing, though. So please feel free to talk, and I will sign back.’ You clarify to Erwin, the smile not falling from your face.  

“That sounds like a plan. Levi, stop hiding behind the counter and come say hi.” Erwin calls out, not bothering to look over his shoulder. You hear a grunt in response and not 10 seconds later, the barista stands cross armed next Erwin. He nods a hello to each of you.  

You knew he was shorter than you, at least a couple inches, based off the interaction at the counter earlier. But seeing him side by side with his friend was almost comical. But as short stature as he was, it did not keep him from holding himself with such authority. It made you nervous.  

‘Thank you for the tea, it was very good.’ You sign, your sister translating in real time for you.  

“Tch, are you sure? I saw you dump enough sugar in it to make it syrup.” Levi retorts dryly.  

That makes you smile sheepishly. His fixated stare unnerved you a little, but you stare back regardless. Now that he was closer, a glass case no longer between the both of you, your eyes traveled along his face in close inspection. 

He’s beautiful, you think to yourself. His features are sharp and angled. Steely gray eyes pronounced a permanent exhausted look. It was a shade of gray you’ve never seen before, and they were mesmerizing. As if he could feel you staring holes in his face, he flicks his eyes to the side, clearly uncomfortable. But you can’t help it, because really the most intriguing thing about him was not his metallic eyes. It was the scars that marred his porcelain skin.  

A couple of scars ran down the right side of his face. The prominent of the two trailed from the top right of his forehead all the way down to his chin, cutting into his right eye and both lips. You’re pretty sure his eye was quite damaged due to the slight muted discoloration of the eye color.  

He’s beautiful, you repeat to yourself. You glance over to Hange, and they just look over at you with a knowing look. You know she was just begging to ask Levi too, but she just shakes her head. So, you fold your hands together and pinch your lips together.  

“Well!” Hange yells out, breaking the silence. “This human really needs a drink. Let’s all go! Erwin, I demand you let me treat you to a couple drinks!” She wraps an arm around your shoulders and laughs.  

“A drink sounds fantastic; I will gladly take you up on that offer. Let me just close up rea-” He’s cut off by Levi raising both of his hands up in protest. You notice the two missing fingers on his right hand. The pointer and middle were gone. Whatever this man went through, you just had to know. But you toss those questions onto an ever-growing pile and bite your cheek.  

“Erwin, I can close up. You go ahead.” Your sister just smiles widely and practically jumped up and down. The blonde man just clapped his hand Levi’s shoulder and smiled at him.  

“Thank you. You’ll join us after? The usual place?” Levi just shrugs his shoulders in response.  

Part of you hoped he would. You couldn’t place a singular reason why though.  

.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of you found yourselves in a well-lit and very crowded bar. Somehow Erwin had snagged a table near the back wall. Heavy rock blares loudly from a live band maybe 20 feet away. Overwhelming was an understatement, but you grit your teeth and sit down on one of the stools.  

“Whatcha want, my darlings?!” Hange yells over the music, slapping both hands down on the table and staring at the both of you.  

“Whiskey neat, whatever they offer is fine.”  

You sign the words ‘apple’ and ‘juice’ followed by a ‘thank you’. You’ve never been one for a drink. While it was tolerable to be around, you’d rather not have to taste it if you could help it.  

Looking around, you see all manners of people surrounding you. Something about it makes your stomach turn but you shift in your seat to quell it down. You’re sure it’s only so crowded because of the prospect of a Friday night and the promise of no plans the following day. The town of Jinae was not anything special, but it was quaint. You and your sister found out quickly it was a place where everyone knew mostly everyone. After only settling down here from your hometown 5 months ago, you were still learning of all the local spots.  

From the looks of it, this bar was one of those. “The Scouts” was an inviting place, decorated with dark greens and wood tones. The walls were littered with many frames of a lot of different people. You imagine it might have been local residents in various locations of the town. All of the wood was worn down, so it was clear this place has been in business for a while. A neon sign hangs above the stage where the live band played, something that resembled blue and white wings. It makes you wonder what the significance is.  

Your thoughts are disturbed as a glass is placed in front of you. Realizing the dryness in your throat, you pick up the glass and take a big swig of the amber liquid. You’re met with a burning sensation, and you gag. This alerts Hange of the unfortunate mistake.  

“Ah I’m sorry my little strawberry!! They do look quite similar though, don’t they?” They switch the glasses quickly and laugh. You notice the very noticeable cup size differences between the two and you stare at her quizzically. “I may have taken a shot while at the bar, sorry.” she adds on. It makes you shake your head, but you grab her hand reassuringly and chuckle.  

‘I’m sorry.’ You sign at Erwin, and he just smiles back.  

“Not a problem. But I have to ask, how was it?” A bushy eyebrow raises at you in amusement.  

You just stick your tongue out and make a gagging gesture at him. You laugh though, not really upset.  

Two apple juices in, the live band ends. Hange and Erwin are very deep in conversation, which you suspect might be about Carly. You can’t really hear what’s being said though. With the absence of music, chatter quickly fills the air. Honestly it was really starting to get to you. So, after tapping on the pair’s shoulders and signing where you were going, you find yourself leaning over the guard rail just outside the bar’s door.  

The sun was already far gone. A crescent moon sits high in the sky and a smatter of stars surrounds it. The cold air felt very welcome on your very flushed face. You exhale a big sigh, which garners a puff of steam. It makes you laugh so you do it again. Then you start to wonder how long you might be able to last out here before getting frostbite when suddenly a body starts leaning against the rail next to you.  

With a start, you whip your head to face the newcomer. Instantly you relax at the sight of Erwin’s friend. He was adorned in a big peacoat and his casual slacks. A tan turtleneck sweater peaks out from the jacket’s collar. His face was flushed as well, no doubt from the cold.  

Levi. 

He wasn’t paying you any mind though, instead his gaze laid upon the sky above, at the stars. You wave at him anyways and offer a small smile. He glances at you with a side eye and returns a curt nod.  

Not one for words. 

So, you both stand there in silence, staring up at the twinkling lights above. It wasn’t uncomfortable in the slightest. Something about his presence radiated a sort of calm, and you were happy to bask in it.  

After a few minutes, he shifts his weight in your direction, so you face him. He’s staring up at you and it makes you swallow hard. His eyes glowed silver from the moonlight. Truly you have never been this fascinated with a person until now.  

“You like the stars.” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement.  

You nod in agreement, smiling to emphasize your love for them. He purses his lips at that. It seemed as if he wanted to say something else to that, but nothing came out. It just makes you frown a bit. You just have more questions that keep piling up. Everything about him just emanated mystery and it made you want to know all about him.  

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to him, exaggerating your frown to show your concern. You’re only met with a look of confusion. You forget that he does not know much if any sign. And you kick yourself for leaving your communication tools at home. To be fair though, this is not where you expected to be tonight.  

You then get an idea to use your phone to type to him but before you even reach into your pocket, you’re interrupted by a sudden blast of warm air as a couple stumbles out of the bar, both in a giggling fit as they cling to each other. They take off down the road, laughing even harder. The brief warm air makes you shiver, reminding you of the cold outside.  

As if thinking the same thing, Levi catches the door before it closes and holds it open for the both of you. You’re suddenly well aware of the very loud singing happening from within and your eyes widen at the familiarity of one of the voices. You and Levi make your way to the voices and are greeted with the sight of Erwin and Hange duetting a Backstreet Boys song.  

What a sight it was. The tall brunette, face flushed and glasses askew, had their arm around Erwin. He his blonde hair was quite tousled, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. They both swayed together as they belted out the lyrics. As if their smiles were contagious, you felt yourself grin. It was kind of cute. So, you pull out your phone and snap a quick picture, sure to show Hange in the morning. It was a good thing too, because the song ends right as you put your phone away in your bag. Levi clicks his tongue and huffs. You glance over at the noise and notice a small upturn to the corner of his scarred mouth. Noticing your gaze, his face vacates itself from any emotion as he stares back ahead.  

“Oi! Eyebrows!” He calls out to his friend. Levi starts making his way to the stage, walking with a slight limp. Yet another question to add onto the pile. “I’m gone for 45 minutes and you’re already singing.”  

“I’m fine! Just a couple drinks in.”  

You all make your way to the table you had laid claim to earlier. You survey the table and count at least 6 more glasses, not counting your two. It was hard to see who drank what.  

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to your sister, concern etched on your face. They just nod lazily and give a thumbs up with both hands. Levi is regarding you with a look of understanding, and it seems he realized that you had asked him outside.  Music starts playing over the speakers again, and people start making their way to the dance floor. Hange squeals and downs the rest of her drink quickly.  

“Erwin let’s go!” She grabs his arm, not waiting for a response. He gives a mock salute to the two of you and follows without question. Levi just clicks his tongue again and heads to the bar to get himself something. So, you plop yourself down on the stool and stare out into the room. Out of nervous habit you start fidgeting with the napkins in front of you. A moment later, Levi’s hobbling over with a tray of drinks. 

“I got the idiots some water, they look like they need it.” He places the glasses down with a thud, including one of his own housing some sort of caramel liquid. Then he’s sliding something over to you and you’re about to protest that you don’t drink but you realize it’s not a glass. It’s a notepad and pen.  

“If you need something, this might come in handy.” is all he says.  

You’re quick to show your appreciation with a bright smile. You also note to yourself that you could have very well have used your phone to communicate but you were not one to disregard someone’s thoughtfulness. It makes something bloom in your chest, warm and comforting.  

Your many years of not having a phone of course meant writing – a lot. Your handwriting evolved plenty with time so that meant it was extremely neat. It had to have been so that the reader would be able to read it without an issue. 

First you write your name, as you realize no one had really said it out loud while at the teashop. Following that you add ‘I think your shop is wonderful, and I really did enjoy the tea you made.’ You also want to jot down the questions from earlier that were still swimming in your mind, but you hold yourself back. You tell yourself maybe later, granted if there would even be a later.   

When angling the paper so he could see it, his eyes flit across the words quickly and you’re given a grunt in acknowledgement. Pulling back the notepad, you bite the inside of your cheek. While it wasn’t awkward being next to him, he sure made it hard to talk to. His cold demeanor gave you the feeling he wasn’t the type to talk about himself, especially with someone he just met. So, asking questions about him or his life was out the window. Likewise, he did not really seem interested in hearing your life story, not like you were planning to spill it anyways for fear of being met with disdain. You had plenty of experiences with that growing up.  

Tapping the pen against your chin, your eyes drift around the bar room. There a multitude of people lingering about, shouting over each other to be heard. A couple sits in a corner, whispering who knows what to each other. Both of their cheeks are flushed and eyes heavy with lust. A handful of people are on the dance floor grinding away, your sister and new friend sticking out like a sore thumb as they dance with reckless abandon. All of this gave you an idea, remembering something you’ve read before many moons ago. You start scrawling on the paper again.  

‘Are you a gambling man, Levi?’ 

You shift the pad back over to him and he glances down again after taking another sip of his spirit. He was holding his glass in a way you’d never seen before and honestly it was a little weird.  

“Tch, hardly. Why do you ask?” He looks hard at you as you scratch something else down.  

‘I propose a game to pass the time. Let’s make some bets about the random people in this room.’ 

He looks at you incredulously. You stand your ground, not averting your gaze even a little. When you don’t back down, he just scoffs and shakes his head at you.  

“I literally could not care less about these people,” he clicks his tongue. “But I suppose there’s not much else to do so I’ll bite.” Knocking back the rest of his drink, he moves around you to lean back against the wall so that he is facing the rest of the crowd. You shift so that you are doing the same. You don’t overlook the proximity to the shorter man, nor the fact that your arms are almost touching. You start to scribble once more.  

‘Winner gets to ask the loser one question.’ As his eyes fall on your words, he seems a little taken aback. Levi seems to think for a moment, like he’s weighing his pros and cons.  

“One non-personal question.” He amends. You both nod in agreement. So, your eyes travel around the room, looking for your first target. It falls on a group not so far away.  

‘I bet that gaggle of young girls over there are here for a bridal party.’

You point in the direction of the said group. Currently they were taking tequila shots, lime and all. All of them sparkled and were dressed up to the nines, save for the silly little hats adorning their heads. And they were having so much fun.  

“No way,” Levi scoffs, “That has to be a 21st birthday. They all look like babies.”  

Suddenly someone comes through a parting in the crowd with a tray of assorted colorful drinks garnished with cute little accessories. They all yell in excitement at the sight. One of the girls raises her glass and starts shouting.  

“To Estelle! May your married life be full of infinite love, happiness, and orgasms!” They all cheer and take big gulps of their drinks, followed by more giggling.  

Levi glances art you, his gray eyes dull in the dim bar light. An eyebrow lifts at you as well.  

“How did you know?” 

You do a sweeping gesture starting from one shoulder down to the opposite hip. He looks back over to the women and conveniently the soon-to-be-bride had faced your direction. She was indeed wearing a white sash sporting the word ‘BRIDE’ in bright pink letters. He huffs as he rolls his eyes, and you smirk at him in return. You press the pad over to him, already equipped with your question.  

Levi scoffs at your question. As promised, it wasn’t very personal. You figured ice breaker like questions were a good start. But his pause made you question if this was a good idea, you didn’t want to run him off or make him uncomfortable. Then he clicks his tongue, and his face softens ever so slightly.  

“My favorite hobby, huh? It would have to be cleaning.” He simply states. 

Cleaning?  

‘Like mopping, dusting, all that jazz?’  

“Yeah, it brings me peace. I like the control. Plus, I can't stand filthy things, people, or places. It’s repugnant.” He scrunches his nose at the last statement. A laugh bubbles up and you can’t help but let it loose. You’re shot with a glare and a sharp tone.  

“Funny?”  

You shake your head no and smile lightly while your hands move adeptly on the pad.  

‘Not funny, just amusing because it’s not something I would have expected. It’s different. If it makes you happy then it is an admirable hobby.’ 

Levi’s looking away from you now. If it wasn’t so dim, you would have seen there was a light dusting of pink color his cheeks and ears. He clears his throat and scans the room for his victim. His eyes land on the couple in the back corner whispering to each other. He notices their not-so-subtle hand movements as they felt each other up. Nodding in their direction, he looks back over to you, leaning close so you can hear.  

“I bet that couple will get up in the next 3 minutes and excuse themselves to somewhere private.” Your eyes travel in that direction, only to look away hastily at such an intimate scene. You’re not able to think of a counter-bet because honestly, you’re thinking the same thing. Your eyes settle back to his face, but he’s already looking back at the couple. If he noticed you staring, he didn’t say. Suddenly his face is filled with a satisfied look, only to be replaced quickly with a look of horror. You follow his gaze again, afraid of what you might see.

Fortunately, it’s nothing risqué, as you catch the tail end of the couple slipping into one of the public, unmarked restrooms. But the thought of their future actions was enough to gross you out. Looking back at Levi, you scrunch your face up in disgust. He nods in understanding.  

“This is why we don’t use public restrooms, especially in a bar.” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his good hand. “When I said somewhere private, I meant like a residence or something. Filthy animals, unbelievable. They better scrub that bathroom down. Maybe I should tell the bartender when they’re done. Maybe I should help clean.” 

His retorts crack you up, your shoulders bouncing from silent laughter. He just stares at you impassively as he runs his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face.  

“Well, it’s not like we should ruin their fun. Anyways I suppose I won. Let’s see... what’s your favorite color?” 

You part your lips, dumbfounded. This was never an easy question, as you found joy in a lot of different colors. You bite your lip and start writing, but after a couple minutes Levi rips the pad from your hands out of impatience.  

salmon 

turquoise? 

canary yellow! 

orange 

dark forest gre- 

He just looks at you in alarm.  

“Just pick one.” he scolds. 

You snatch the pad back and scribble down, ‘It’s not that simple!’  

“It is to me. White, easy.” You just stare right back at him, not believing what you just heard. Out of all the many shades and hues out there, this man decides the color white.  

‘Why?’ 

“It’s clean.” is the only response you get.  

It makes sense, you think. But seriously, this man was so weird. But like you said earlier, it was different and that made it refreshing to you. You start searching for your next bet.  

As if in a scene from a movie you’ve seen a dozen times came to life, your eyes snap to a lone woman sitting at the bar, nursing a drink and playing on her phone. A couple seats down, you spot a few men chatting. One of the men is staring hard at the very oblivious woman. You nudge Levi with your elbow, not unnoticing the slight flinch from your touch. You point to the scene, and he is quick to understand.  

“I bet when he walks over to her, she’ll get up and leave.” He says confidently.  

Trusting your instincts, you scrawl back quickly as you notice the man started making his way towards the woman. Sticking your tongue out at him, you angle the pad to him so he could see.  

‘Absolutely not. She’ll tell him off right away.’  

To both yours and his surprise, not one moment later she throws the rest of her drink contents onto the man’s head. She gathers her belongings, throws a wad of bills on to the bar, then stomps out of the establishment. The rejected man staggers back to his friends, and they applaud him for his supposed gall. This event left you both stunned. There’s a moment of pause where you and Levi just stare at each other before all hell breaks loose as he starts talking and you start scribbling furiously.  

“She walked away, I win.”  

‘She threw that drink on him, that’s practically telling him off. And that happened before any walking off.’  

“That hardly counts, no words were used.” He scoffs and folds his arms across his chest as he stares hard at you. You weren’t sure if the indignation was real or not, but it was evident in his face.   

‘Words are not always needed to convey intent.’ You shoot back at him, shifting your weight to tap your foot defiantly. You would know this of course.  

This makes Levi pause. He opens his mouth to say something but then Erwin and Hange came crashing into the little bubble you two had made. Suddenly the sounds of clinking glasses and mindless chatter came rushing in and you took a step back.  

“Um, I think Hange might have had a little too much tonight.” Erwin says, to which your attention is drawn to a very drunk Hange. They were a blubbering, sobbing mess. Whining about things that ranged from Carly to her work stress and everything in between. Your sister rarely got this drunk, but you imagine the events from earlier might have been her breaking point. This was a sign to get her home.  

You hastily round the table to wrap her arm around you and prop her up. Then after whipping a $20 out of your purse and throwing it on the table in front of the boys, you give them a grateful smile and sign to Erwin.  

‘Thank you both for tonight. She and I had a lot of fun. But I need to get her home before she gets worse.’ As if on cue, they let out a loud wail and start sobbing into your shoulder. You shift your body to hold them closer so that you don’t drop them. Erwin grabs your $20 and shoves it back in your purse before zipping it up. He had left you no time to protest as he places a large hand on your shoulder and stares intensely at you.  

“Please, let me take care of this. Tell them this was an exceptional time. And to please stop by the café again, we owe each a good, sober talk.” His bright blue eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at you warmly. “It was a pleasure meeting you too. I hope you join Hange on the café visits as well. I think Levi has warmed up to you just nicely.” He wiggles an eyebrow at his friend. Levi just shoves him back and rolls his eyes.  

“Tch, fuck off. She’s alright, I guess.” He’s staring at you now, not as cold as before. “You owe me an answer next time we meet.”  

You purse your lips at him and shake your head in disagreement. 

‘I totally won that, don’t even think otherwise.’ You jot down lazily on the notepad still on the table. It wasn’t as neat, but you were propping up a whole human, you couldn’t help it.   

“Are you sure you’re safe to get home okay? We can he-” You cut Erwin off with a wave of the hand. Their spot of choice was actually very lucky, as you only live a few minutes away. And to be honest, you needed the cold air. So, you sign a quick goodbye to your new friends and make your way out. 

Walking down the snowy sidewalk, you pat Hange’s head as she grumbles about random things. She opted to walk herself, but you kept your hand in theirs to lead them in the right direction. She only stumbled a few times but overall, you were able to keep a steady pace. You note that before you left, her glass of water had been untouched, so you make a mental reminder to hydrate her before throwing her in bed.  

‘Alcohol was not kind to those in their 30s’ you heard their voice say in the back of your mind.  

As your steps left crunching noises in their wake, you peer up at the moon and glittering stars. A certain raven-haired and silver-eyed man etched in your brain. You wonder how soon it will be before seeing him again.  

‘Levi’ you sign to yourself with a free hand. A smile cemented to your face the whole way home.

☾ Next Chapter: December

[youngcollectedtired]

Levi Ackerman x Best friend!Reader!with Toxic Parent!ModernaotAU

Warnings: toxic parent, parents divorced

Just got into an argument with my parent and I needed to vent so here you guys go 🙂‍↔️ Levi is the best best friend ever and I needed that last week.

Also very much so unedited LOL

Includes : levi, Hange, Erwin

AOT MODERN AU

Your parents had divorced when you were 17. Your sister was 13. Between graduating high school and helping your sister focus on her own studies you didn’t have time to mourn the loss. The loss was of your family, your mother.

 

In college is where you met your best friend, Levi. Erwin and Hange soon followed after.

 

It was two weeks in school. You were buried in quizzes, tests, and essays.

 

The library was full, and you were sitting at a table with four chairs. Your textbooks had taken over the table.

 

A few students had walked in and out of the library and you ignored them.

 

Until a hand slammed on your textbook.

 

You didn’t look up hoping it was a mistake.

 

Then the fingers began drilling as if impatient. Finally, a voice interrupted your thoughts, “um excuse me?”

 

You looked up to come face to face with a girl who resembled that of a typical high school bully.

 

I thought for sure we’d left that behind, you thought to yourself.

 

Choosing kindness you responded, “yes?” With a smile.

 

She began popping her gum, blowing a bubble before she continued, “My friends and I need this table.  There’s only one of you, so get up.”

 

You snorted, unable to take her seriously.

 

Her eyes narrowed, “Did I say something funny?”

 

You shook your head, “No sorry I just had something in my throat. I’m sitting here because the one person tables don’t have enough room for my textbooks.” You attempted to explain despite knowing you could have just said no and ignored her.

 

She stood up fully now, “Well maybe if you weren’t so dumb you wouldn’t need all this space to study.” She rolled her eyes.

 

You weren’t much of a bully and your own insults didn’t come easy. So, all you could do was stutter, “Uh…”

 

A new voice joined the convo. “Maybe if you weren’t a high school bully you abominable flamingo then we can all study in peace. Because you know, it is a study hall.” He spoke from behind you.

 

You turned your head just as the girls gasped. There stood a guy you could recognize from your other classes.

 

Levi something. The girl attempted to speak but shutting her up again he spoke, “You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take the day off?”

 

This time you couldn’t help but snorting. You caught it as your hand raised as if you were coughing. The girl glared at you but did walk away.

 

You turned to say thanks, but he was already walking away and towards a table where a blonde guy was sitting and a brown-haired girl. She was wearing glasses and waving dramatically at you.

 

Hesitantly you waved back. Despite the woman grinning and waving Levi didn’t look back.

 

You smiled at the memory. The next day, the girl tried to stop you in the hallway. But the girl who you learned was named Hange swooped in and dragged you away ignoring them.

 

She explained that if you were going to be such a target of bullying it would be smart to stick to them. You were exceptionally grateful. Most of your classes were with all three of them and if not at least one of them.

 

You were interested in becoming a professor and you soon learned they all were too. Erwin loved history. Hange science. Hilariously enough Levi and you both were interested in Literature.

 

Which is how you all ended up where you were now.

 

You and Hange were roommates. Levi lived alone and Erwin with his wife.

 

Petra Erwin’s wife had been out of town on a girl’s trip. So, you and Hange decided to have them over for an easy dinner.

 

Easy for Hange seeing as she loved to clean. You took on the cooking role often.

 

You’d already planned dinner and the beef was marinated ready for you to cook. You were currently picking up your sister as your dad was called into work for a Tech Reserve.

 

He’d be gone for the week.

 

You’d been listening to Ann your sister talk about her latest situation. She’d been laid off from her job with no warnings. It was a simple cleaning job she did 3 times a week. It was easy money and someone you all knew. She’d been working there for 3 years. And now at 19 she needed to start over. With a new resume and a new job. It hadn’t been a week since the message that your dad had pushed her to call every business down the street to see if they were hiring.

 

She currently wanted to work at a cafe, but he said no. Most of his reason based on paranoia alone. You attempted to give suggestions as to why he should let her work where she wanted but to no avail.

 

As you both arrived you parked the car in your driveway, “I’m going to call him, you can go ahead into the house. Hange is here,” you unlocked the car.

 

She turned to you uneasily, “if I can’t convince him, I don’t know that you can. And you know how he gets, why you moved out in the first place.”

 

You shook your head, “it doesn’t matter, I don’t live there anymore. He can't hurt me anymore. Besides, he must see reason.”

 

You both knew that wasn’t the case.

 

He was a great dad, he provided for all your needs and in days where you were short on money. He was there. Days you needed air in your tire, needed to borrow bug spray he was there.

But after the divorce, your father began comparing you to your cheating mother.

 

As a teenager you were still reeling from your own mother’s betrayal not just because she cheated… but also because she abandoned you and your sister. You wished so desperately for an escape. So, the first mention of needing a roommate from Hange you began working hard. Putting your affairs in order and saving money. When you turned 21 with your first teaching position you were out.

 

The first few months were blissful. No more comparing. No more sly comments, no more backhanded compliments. Or ordering around. Or doing things the way only HE wanted.

 

Apart of you felt sorry for leaving your own sister behind, but you had the tiniest inkling she’d be fine. Considering she was the favorite child. No matter how much she or he tried to deny it. It was all in the way he listened to her, or heard her out, didn't interrupt her, and even treated her like an adult. There were no backhanded compliments or talking about her in front of others.

 

Ann shrugged, before taking her bag and jumping out of the car. You watched her walk up to your front door before you opened your phone.

 

There were a few messages from the groupchat. Erwin saying he'd arrived. Hange letting you know she'd taken the meat out of the freezer. Levi texting you and the chat he was on the way with dessert and drink.

 

Knowing you were attempting to distract yourself from your task you opened the phone app. You took a deep breath, sliding to the contact that read 'Dadmight' and hit dial.

 

As he answered, you greeted one another as usual. The formalities were out of the way. Then he asked what was up.

 

Shakily you spoke, “Dad, I know you’re her parent and you have a right to give her suggestions. But don’t you think Ann should work where she wants to work? I mean at the end of the day, you may help her with her resume, and teach her how to do an interview but wherever she gets accepted she’ll have to do the job on her own. You won’t be able to help her or give suggestions. So she might as well,-“ he cut you off. You instantly could tell he was upset.

 

“No. Hush your mouth,” he began his own spill. You zoned out barely hearing his words. But recognizing a few.

 

Disrespectful. On your own. Relationship. Stay out of it. So many words ran together and just like when you were younger you keep your face blank. Your body moved out autopilot as you opened the car door. The anger in his voice was always the same. However cool night breeze instantly woke you. reminding you of your intentions.

 

“Hello? Did you hear me? I said-“ he began again repeating everything. You listened this time. As he accused you of trying to destroy his relationship with Ann. As he said your tone was disrespectful and how just because you moved out you didn’t get to talk to him that way.

 

“I’m not trying to attack you,” you cut in attempting to diffuse the situation.

 

“Be quiet! I’m not done, don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to you,” you attempted to not zone. Because of this a lump in your throat formed. As you fought to keep from blanking out every little word felt like an arrow hitting your body.

 

He was silent now.

 

“Okay dad, I’ll talk to you later. Bye,” you hung up the phone. Before you could start sobbing.

 

Apart of you angry at his disrespect but also angry at yourself. You didn’t live with him anymore. He couldn’t punish you or burst in your room and demand a conversation. You were on your own. In your own space that you built with Hange.

 

And he still affected you.

 

None of these thoughts helped you. Within in seconds, you started crying. Your tears kept coming without cause. You ripped your glasses off and through blurry eyes you swiped on your phone again and pressed on a new contact.

 

The phone rang and rang and rang. Until finally someone picked up.

 

You heard a familiar but weak voice. "Hello?"

 

"Mom?" You asked albeit a little confused. Your voice was clear but barely.

 

She sniffed clearing her throat, before answering you, "Yes? What's wrong?"

 

You cleared your throat enough to ask, "Are you crying? What's wrong?"

 

She began protesting, "No no I'm okay, what's up?"

 

You shook your head, "No you're crying!" You lost it again the tears spilling over, "we can't both be crying," the tears fell even harder. Your head aching at the sudden onslaught of tears.

 

Your mom sniffled again, "I'm sorry. Me and your aunt just got into it. What's wrong with you?" You could tell she wasn't in her right mind.

 

Still, you answered her question as she had yours, "Dad and I just got into it. But I'll just call you later, okay? Feel better," you mumbled as she agreed and said love you.

 

The conversation ended and you were not feeling any better. In fact, you were feeling worse. You took your glasses to your shirt, attempting to wipe the stain of tears off, before focusing on the cold tears on your face.

 

You didn’t notice a car had parked on your street. Or that Levi was walking towards you.

 

He didn’t seem to see your face, “I got that disgusting wine you like so much,” he raised the bottle as you attempted to wipe your tears. But they kept coming.

 

He stopped as he finally got a look at you.

 

“Are you crying?” He was close now, “Who were you talking to on that phone call?”

 

Phone call? Christ did he hear me? Panic hit you as you started laughing uneasily, “sorry the moon is just so pretty tonight,” you pointed up only to come face to face with clouds that were covering the moon. From the looks of it, the moon had been covered for awhile.

 

Levi’s expression turned deadpanned. As if he were saying, really? 

 

“Sorry,” you wiped the tears that had finally stopping coming, “dad and I just got into it. More like he laid into me,” you rolled your eyes.

 

You turned to your car, grabbing your own backpack from the back seat.

 

As you locked the door and began walking, he was in step with you. “You mean that heated voice was your dad?” His voice soured as if he couldn’t believe it.

 

You sighed, “Yeah. Well just now it was my mom. Before that it was my dad, I don’t think you’ve ever met him yet. He can be a bit of a jerk sometimes,” you turned to him now, “are my eyes red and can you tell I’ve been crying?” You asked hurriedly.

 

He paused. His eyes scanning your face. Before he could answer you assumed he was trying to find an easy way to say yes. Or a funny way knowing him.

 

“I knew it,” you turned your bag attempting to find a tissue, but he stopped you.

 

“No sorry, I was just admiring your beauty.” He spoke as if it were obvious.

 

You paused not expecting his direct words. Or the honesty. Before you could say anything else, he opened the door and walked in.

 

You could feel your cheeks warm but ignoring them you followed him shutting the door. You hung your backpack on the hooks where other purses and bags laid. You slipped your shoes off and your sweatshirt, leaving you in a pair of overalls and a frilly shirt. Sitting on the couch was your sister, Erwin and you assumed Hange was making drinks.

 

Your sister made a beeline for Levi pulling him an unwillingly hug. He humored her. And funny enough only her.

 

“Hey brat,” he pulled away from her.

 

You greeted Hange and Erwin and they smiled.

 

You grabbed the wine from his hand and headed straight for the kitchen. He followed behind you with your sister in tow.

 

She was sitting on the bar stools as you began washing your hands. You could tell she wanted to know how the phone call went.

 

Ann wouldn't be Ann if she didn't just say what was on her mind. And that she did.

 

"So, how'd it go?" She asked before popping a can of soda.

 

You'd already dried your hands and were rinsing out a glass of wine. Hange opened your 'disgusting wine' as Levi dubbed and was already pouring you a glass as you pulled out the beef you marinated just this morning.

 

You rolled your eyes, "How do you think it went?" You were annoyed, "then I tried to call mom and she was crying too! I told her we can't both be crying," you plugged in the rice cooker to prepare for the rice you were about to wash.

 

Ann snickered, "Not you both crying. What was up with her?"

 

You washed the rice in front of her at the sink now. "She said she got into it with her sister. I told her dad and I got into it and then I told her to get some rest. We hung up after that," you poured the rice out as your sister nodded.

 

Hange cut in with a glass of something, "I'm sorry did I just hear you say you got into it with your dad? I thought you left that behind," she leaned against the counter as you turned the stove on, throwing garlic with sesame oil in the pan.

 

You chuckled unamusedly, "Heh, yeah. See I did until he started being unreasonable towards Ann." You gestured now opening the pantry. You pulled the flour free so you could start on the Kimchi pancakes.

 

Erwin now joined all of you in the kitchen as Levi rolled his sleeves up preparing to clean up after you. You were too busy cooking and sipping to notice the small bit of trash you left behind. To Levi this was okay because it gave him something to do with his hands while you cooked for them.

 

Erwin set his beer on the bar pulling himself into the seat next to Anna, "How is he being unreasonable this time?" He asked curiously.

 

It had slipped your mind the last time your father truly got on your nerves you called Erwin. He brought you lunch at the day care you were interning at and listened to your agitated words. You were 19 at the time and your father had taken your car and your phone... all to make a point. You knew this to be the case because a few days later he'd given both items back. Erwin convinced you right then in there to NOT move out at 19 with only your recent check to your name. However, he offered his place as a refuge in case you ever needed it.

 

Thankfully, you had been able to hold out for a few more years.

 

Levi was surprised to hear Erwin's choice of words too. You'd chosen to keep Levi out of this part of your life, due to the fear that he and your father would become enemies. Of course, Levi never knew this.

 

As you remembered this, you came back from your thoughts to Ann explaining the situation. The others listened as she expressed her opinion on the situation. You poured the broccoli into a pan on the back of the stove, readying the sauce so it would steam just right.

 

"Do you want to tell us how the convo went?" Ann asked apart of curious but also cautious... between the two of you she was less likely to talk family business. You however had no qualms in this regard.

 

You mixed the Kimchi into the flour before setting the bowl in front of Ann. She pouted but got to work, as you leaned back and sipped.

 

"Yeah, so you know when I get excited sometimes I yell," you explained first.

 

Hange snickered, "Yell is an understatement. She was telling me about her latest enemies to lovers’ book in the car and I thought I lost my hearing."

 

You blushed deeply, your facial expression showing embarrassment, "Thank you Hange for proving the point that everyone else knows, I'm sure. Moving on," you stirred the broccoli before leaning against a counter again.

 

"So, I'm not sure if I was yelling or if it was my tone."

 

Ann cut in, "your tone can sometimes come across crazy."

 

You ignored her and kept talking, "I basically told him that even though he's Ann's parent he can help her or give her suggestions, but at the end of the day she's going to be the one doing the work. We all know whether you admit it or not you or a lazy person," you paused looking to Ann who was now flipping the first kimchi pancake.

 

"I am."

 

You bit a chuckle, "So I told him wouldn’t it make more sense if you let her work where she wants to work... so then she'll actually want to work and then later she can move up." You took a deep breath pausing for a moment to put the beef on the hot stove.

 

Hange was impatient. "So, what'd he say this time?"

 

You rolled your eyes, "First while I was talking, he told me to shut up and hush up and of course I laughed. Then he went into this spill about how I disrespect him and how I shouldn't talk to him in that tone. He said that just because I've moved out doesn't mean I can ruin his and Ann's relationship and that I needed to stay out of it," you were frustrated now.

 

The cup you were holding had been set down now and you were gripping the counter in anger, "Ugh I mean what makes him think I'm going to want to respect him if he treats me like that. I feel like every time we argue he treats me like dirt. Whether or not that's his intention that's how I feel," you turned to Hange now, "and this whole thing just made me truly realize why I dislike conversation about conflict or telling you how I feel. Any time I talked to him or try to tell him my point of view it turns into him thinking I'm attacking him or trying to take away his 'deserved' respect as a father. And then I shut down as you know Ann and so after the whole conversation and he finally went quiet I was just like, 'okay dad, I'll see you later,' and I just hung up. Then I was crying... not because of what he said or anything but because I was frustrated with myself for allowing him to still get to me." You couldn't look anyone in the eye as your felt your own frustration dissipate.

 

Hange was the first to speak up, "I'm sorry. I understand where you're coming from. Maybe with time he'll see our point of view. I feel like every time you mention him I want to like punch him in the face. Your dad is an interesting person, that's for sure."

 

You covered your mouth in shock before laughing at her statement. You then flipped the beef over in the pan as your laughed turned into a snicker.

 

Levi spoke up next surprising you, "What do you mean you 'shut down?'" His face didn't give away what he was thinking. Apart of you felt grateful worried he would think you were overreacting.

 

You were unsure if you wanted Levi to know this other side of you. The side your father only brought out. Interrupting your thought Ann however replied.

 

"She does this thing where her face goes blank. I feel like it's to protect herself from what he's saying. It's almost like she's disassociating, which is not good by the way. You need a therapist," your sister pointed out as she always did.

 

You couldn't help but snort, "So do you. But at the end of the day dad has taught me something," you leaned against the counter now allowing the chicken to cook on the stove.

 

"What's that?" Erwin curiously asked.

 

You grinned, "Not to marry anyone like him. Ann already knows if my future boyfriend acts anything like our dad, to hit me over the head."

 

Hange snickered, "Has she had to hit you over the head yet?"

 

Somehow knowing you wouldn't answer truthfully Ann chuckled, "I've hit her over the head for a few guys with red flags but none thankfully as bad as Dad."

 

Levi folded his arms, "Who have you dated?"

 

You kept silent, but Ann however did not care for your embarrassment.

 

She began cackling. "Oh you never told them did you?" You covered your face, "It was Chad! Remember him, right?" Ann smirked turning to the others.

 

Erwin began shaking his head, "I had to step in for Chad. That was truly one of your darkest moments (name). Gotta say I was a tiny bit disappointed."

 

You rolled your eyes, "Okay Erwin we get it. I have horrible taste in men."

 

Hange shook her head, "Not just horrible. Chad was like downright disgusting y/n! What did he do? Bat his eyelashes?"

 

You cringed. "What?? Nooo!" You didn't appear to be convincing.

 

Levi sighed. "Chad as in the college dropout Chad? The Chad who got kicked out of school our senior year?" Even he had the ability to look disappointed.

 

You turned away from everyone, "It's not my fault, I took his flirting seriously! I've never been flirt with," you gestured to yourself as if that would help your situation by any means.

 

Hange closed her eyes and softly shook her head. "Okay y/n you're right. We're sorry, although please tell me Chad was the only one," she turned to Ann who didn't appear to be in your favor.

 

Interrupting the stories that were soon to follow you spoke up, "Alright who's hungry?"

 

You were thankful for the short distraction. However, you were not expecting to catch the eyes of Levi. A curious look in his eyes.

Levi didn’t have parents. His mother died when he was young and he never met his father.

 

After that his uncle raised him until he was old enough to do something with his life. His Uncle Kenny was never much of a father.

 

Apart of him wondered what his life would have been like if he had his mother to raise him. Or if Kenny had stuck around to actually raise him properly.

 

Alas he would never know and now that he’s older he wonders if his thoughts and feelings on his parents would have changed.. if they were still alive. He was sure you still loved your parents because he knew just as well as anyone else a simple argument would never change that. However, a part of him began wondering if parent relationships were as black and white as he thought.

 

And how many times have you had to deal with your father in this way. How many times had he not been here to hear what was bothering you and understand what made you cry and why.

 

You approached Levi noticing him now deep in thought. The others had plates and were entertaining one another with a movie. You could hear the familiar Kung Fu Panda 2 intro.

 

"Hey, here's your plate," you whispered setting in front of him.

 

He looked up shock briefly taking over him, "Oh thanks."

 

You nodded watching him for a moment. It appeared he had something to say, so you gave him a moment. Your plate was sitting in front of you, and you took a sip of the 'disgusting' (deliciously sweet) wine.

 

Levi picked up his fork pausing for a second, "So how often do you and your father get in arguments?"

 

You stared at him attempting to gauge his thoughts. Like always he gave nothing away.

 

You shook your head hoping to be as convincing as you could and answered, "Not often."

 

He set his fork down, his eyes staring holes into your own, "Please do not lie to me."

 

You sighed turning away from him as your felt your throat weaken. Of course you had to be emotional.

 

Taking a few seconds, you turned back to him. "These days? Maybe once a month. Being out of the house has made it easier on our relationship. He still has opinions on things which is what we end up arguing over most of time," you rolled your eyes, moving the food on your plate around.

 

Levi nodded slowly, "How long has it been going on?"

 

You closed your eyes at his question... it had been nearly 4 years ago and still you remember every detail as if it was yesterday... maybe I really do need a therapist. Ann would gloat at you agreeing with her words.

 

You opened your eyes to see Levi looking at you with nothing but patience, so you spoke.

 

"Well, I was 17 and anna was 13 when mom left us. She cheated on my dad, they got a divorce and she and left anna and I for a year. She went zero contact, and we had no idea if she was dead or alive, what she was doing, and where she was. During that time, our dad was dealing with the divorce in a not so healthy way. He took it out on us, not super bad but sometimes he would compare me to mom. He said I would turn out just like her and he spent many nights talking to Ann and I about the way mom treated him and about how she had abandoned us. Ann hated mom for a long time because of this. Of course, we did our best to help him... and then he took up drinking. He was never physical, just very cruel with his words. One day... I got tired of him treating us like his therapists and from then on Ann became his favorite child."

 

Your story like past came to an end and you took the first bite of your meal as Levi took in your story. You could see his hands tense and his jaw locked.

 

He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked up now staring you in your eyes, "Y/n what was Erwin talking about? When he said he had to step in."

 

Your eyes flashed in embarrassment, "Oh yeah that. Dad got upset because Ann took up for me over something stupid and he laid into her. I mean he was telling her to shut up and I snapped. I told him he couldn't talk to her like that, how he had the issue with me and not to take it out on her. I was 19 and he took my car away and he shut down my phone," you chuckled at the memory, "and that punishment didn't last but 3 days because I was working full time and he didn't want to have to drive me to work every day. I remember being so pissed off because after all of that... he pouted like a child for days, ignoring me until I apologized." You shook your head, your anger surfacing for a second.

 

"Sometimes he makes me so angry," You whispered as if ashamed, "and there were some days where I hated him so much. I couldn't even look at him and say 'I love you' back.... because I wasn't sure if I did."

 

You felt a hand rest on yours, but you couldn't bear to look at him because the nights previous tears were begging to be shed.

 

For the first time ever, you heard Levi apologize. Not because of something he did... but instead on behalf of your father. You shook your head, "Levi please... Don't apologize for something you haven't done. I'd ask him to apologize but he's too arrogant to think he's at fault. It's just something I'll have to live with," you turned your hand, both of your palms facing one another.

 

He gripped your hand tight. "Well, you won't have to alone, that's for sure." He squeezed your hand in his, the pressure assuring you of his words, "And for the record, I'm more apologizing for the fact I wasn't there." He lifted your hand to his chest as if holding it there would help him more.

 

You rolled your eyes attempting to fight off a smile, "It's not your fault again, I purposefully kept you out of the loop, so the first time you met him would be a neutral conversation for you."

 

"Too late for that." His lips barely lifted into a smirk, "Let's just hope your old man respects you otherwise we'll have a problem."

 

You sighed, shaking your head, "Of course we will."

 

You stood from the bar stool, prepared to put your plate away, but as always Levi took over. Without a word his eyes telling you to stay exactly where you were.

 

Afterall... cleaning was his domain, and you did really like to watch him clean.

 

 

Extra;

*kung fu panda 2 playing in the background*

*Hange, Erwin, and Ann were sitting on the couch halfway paying attention to it*

Hange: Ten bucks they're dating in the morning.

Erwin: Make it 15 and it's a deal.

Ann: Make it 50 and you're both on.

**

Levi: I do really like you but also if we confirm the dating rumors your sister gets some extra cash... which works for us both...

Y/N: Sooo are you doing this for the cash? Or because you like me?

Levi: Like is actually the biggest understatement... I love you.

Y/N: shut uppp

[asideofweird33]

Just balled my eyes out to a zombie apocalypse fan fic

so I thought I’d draw some concept art of what I would see them wearing in that type of situation 

This is just a WIP

[animeficsworld]

Love Goes Beyond Words

Rich!Erwin Smith x Mute!Reader

Modern!AU

Summary: Erwin never would have imagined his life to turn out like this. A successful businessman, Erwin had everything he ever wanted and more. Everything except for love.

Once upon a time in a bustling city, there lived a wealthy man named Erwin. He was known far and wide for his lavish lifestyle and extravagant parties. Despite his wealth, Erwin was lonely and longed for true love.

One day, Erwin came across a beautiful young girl named Y/N. 

You were mute, unable to speak a single word, but your eyes spoke volumes. Erwin was captivated by your silent grace and delicate beauty.

He knew he had to win your heart.

Erwin spared no expense in showering you with gifts and attention. He took you to the finest restaurants, bought you the most exquisite jewellery, and even hired the best doctors to try and revive your voice. But no matter what he did, you remained silent.

"I tried and I failed you."

"My love for you goes beyond words Erwin. Even if I can't say it, I can show it." And he knew you were right. Despite your inability to speak, your love for Erwin was clear in your eyes. 

You would smile and laugh, eyes sparkling with joy whenever Erwin was with you. 

Erwin was touched by the silent passion and realized that you were right, true love surpassed words.

As the time passed, year after year, Erwin's love for you only grew stronger. 

He no longer cared about your inability to speak, for he knew that your love for him was pure and true. 

They would spend hours together, walking hand in hand through the city, their silent bond growing deeper with each passing day.

One evening, under the light of the full moon, Erwin got down on one knee and presented you with a ring. 

With tears in your eyes, you nodded, accepting his proposal. 

They may not be able to speak their vows, but their love spoke louder than any words ever could.

And so, Erwin and you were married in a luxurious ceremony attended by all the city's elite, Erwin's friends, Levi and Hange enjoyed the wedding more than you two.

As you danced together under the starlit sky, Erwin whispered in your ear, "I may be a rich man, but you are the true treasure in my life." And with a smile and a nod, you silently replied, using sign language which Erwin learned, "And you are my greatest love." 

He simply leaned in for a kiss. 

[hangesfavles]

Kitties and Compromises

4.3k words. nonbinary hange x fem reader, but readers gender is only mentioned twice.

Summary: Hange really wants a cat, and you don’t. On your way to work one day, you hear a distant meowing in a sewer drain.

No warnings btw! This is sfw and just fluffy <3

a/n!: hi! i don’t usually write fanfics. this is actually my first time seriously sitting down and trying to write a fic, but i was inspired by an experience that happened to me fairly recently!! i’m not sure if i’ll write any more fanfiction, but if y’all like my writing you can send in a request, but i can’t promise it’ll be done quickly 😓 i’ll probably only write wlw, nblw, or nblnb! as for characters, i’d be interested in writing for hange, yelena (from aot), moira o’deorain, junker queen, chloe price, or hazel callahan! also ik not that many people will probably see this, but if you like hange fanfics puh LEASE check out @abbyslev on tumblr and @sweetgirl_r on ao3! bc i love their works and they’ve both indirectly inspired me so much! pls read their work its amazing <3 cross posted on tumblr and ao3, pls don’t steal my writing btw :3

What were the odds of something like this happening to you? ​​Hange simply must’ve been manifesting this into the universe. The day started just like any other, waking up in the morning next to your spouse, Hange. You always wake up before them, reluctant to leave the warm comfort of Hange’s embrace. Even when they’re asleep they find ways to be clingy, whether that be trapping your body against their own as they cage you with their arms or simply latching onto your back and nuzzling your hair, it always makes mornings that much harder. You always admire their sleeping face before leaving your shared bed; Their peaceful expression and lack of their usual eyepatch reminds you how much they trust you. You groggily slip out of their arms, eliciting their normal whimpers and sleepy pleas for you to rejoin them. You kiss their cheek, not even bothering to respond to their words. You know they won’t remember their words or your own regardless. You get yourself dressed in your boring, formal work attire required for your office job. After fixing your hair in the mirror, you head to the bathroom first. You grab your toothbrush from the holder, smiling as you do so. The sight of Hange’s toothbrush next to your own always makes your heart flutter. Despite having lived with them for quite some time, you always fall victim to the butterflies in your stomach when you see your items mixed with their own. Simple things, like their “Best teacher” mug gifted to them by one of their students next to your plastic and faded Hello Kitty cup you’ve had since childhood, or your coat hanging on the same rack as theirs.

Your next stop is the kitchen. You always make lunch for yourself as well as Hange the night before, otherwise they’ll skip lunch entirely or on rare occasion buy fast food. It never bothers you, though. You love being able to do nice things for them. You know they appreciate it, because they send sweet ‘thank you’ messages along with a photo of them eating it every day without fail. Seeing their smile while eating the food you prepared specifically for them makes your effort completely worth it. You grab your food, placing it into your bag.

The third and final place you head towards is the living room. You grab your laptop- previously discarded- from the coffee table and place it in your bag as well. You groan softly with annoyance as you remember how Hange had distracted you last night from finishing a particularly long assignment from your boss. You had been working diligently for a few hours before Hange arrived home, demanding attention from you. You can’t even blame yourself, because how could you say no to your loving spouse’s puppy eyes? Not to mention the fact they had also enticed you by offering to watch a new movie with you until it was time to make dinner. That’s another action that never fails to make your heart beat faster in your chest. They make dinner while you prepare tomorrow’s lunch, always on the counter closest to them. You sigh as you think about the fact you’ll have a little bit of extra work to do while you leave the house and enter your car to drive to work.

Hange loves you. Everything about you, and anything that comes with you. They love your day-to-day routine, never growing bored even when doing monotonous tasks and chores. Things they had hated previously have magically become more interesting, like grocery shopping or doing laundry. But even so, something felt… missing. They were 100% sure this feeling has nothing to do with the love they have for you, or the love you have for them. They undeniably and unconditionally love you, otherwise they wouldn’t have proposed to you. They knew early on into your relationship that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you by their side. Because of this, they want to have a family with you. Neither of you had been particularly fond of the idea of having children- at least, not yet. Having a child is a lot of work, as well as an incredibly big time and financial commitment. They want a cat. They knew that they wanted a pet cat before they had even moved out of their parents’ house… However, they also knew that you were against the idea. They’ve been begging for the past few months about how badly they want to adopt one, only to be shut down by you, saying how expensive it would be to buy one, as well as the essentials for it: a collar, carrier, grooming supplies, litter box, litter, a scooper, toys, food bowls, food in general, as well as occasional vet visits. Between both of your jobs, you and Hange live comfortably. If the two of you agreed to cut back on recreational spending, they were sure buying a pet was within reason, but they knew you didn’t want to. You enjoyed being able to go on nice dates with them on occasion, to the movies, aquarium, dinner, art museums, and sometimes you even do escape rooms together. They also savor the dates you go on together, but that doesn’t stop them from asking you at least twice a week if you’ve warmed up to the idea of owning a cat. Spoiler alert, you haven’t. So imagine their surprise when they receive a video call from you in the middle of class, revealing you holding a dirty, gray kitten with one hand.

Really, what were the odds of this happening? After getting out of your car when you arrived at the office building, you hear loud, high-pitched cries coming out of a nearby sewer. Your kind heart wouldn’t and couldn’t ignore it. You follow the sound, crouching in front of the drain, that’s when you see it. The tiniest kitten you’ve ever laid eyes on, seemingly trapped at the bottom of a sewer drain. You jog as fast as your heels can take you, alerting your boss about the situation, telling him you’ll clock in as soon as you can help the poor thing. He graciously allows you to do so, a perk of being a dedicated manager. You jog back towards the drain, kneeling down to look at the kitten again. You were sure if you called the cops that they would take hours to show up, if at all. Instead, you search for the phone number of your local fire department.

Saving this goddamn cat was a long process. Who knew removing the cover of a drain would take so long? It had taken over two hours to remove the cover, and then another forty five minutes to lure the kitten close enough for the firefighter to grab. The kitten was left in your care after it was safely removed from the drain. Luckily, it was dry except for its paws. You were considering what you should do at this moment. The kitten doesn’t seem to have a collar, and you can see a few fleas crawling around on its back. You realize that you simply can’t place it on the ground to roam free once more, what if it’s hungry? What if it gets hurt or stuck again? You’re not sure you would be able to sleep at night knowing you abandoned the cat. You figure you should first and foremost take it to the vet to see if it possibly has an owner who microchipped it. Before doing so, you decide to do what any rational person would do, call Hange. You feel bad for bothering Hange when you know that they’re working, but you wanted to tell them what you’ve dealt with for the past three hours.

When Hange feels the vibration of their phone in their pocket, illuminating from your call, they know that they should answer. They hold their phone in their hand before glancing around their classroom, the eyes of their students peering at them curiously. They chuckle nervously. “...Ah, pardon me for a minute! My wife is calling me. Feel free to chatter while I’m away, just be sure to keep it down, okay?” They give the class an awkward thumbs up and a matching smile. They aren’t sure if you’ve ever called them while they were working, and they feel a pang of worry as they step out of their classroom and into the hallway to answer the call.

The look on their face was priceless. Their eye widens a little with confusion, their lips parting as if they wanted to say something, but they clearly have trouble finding the words. You speak before they do, explaining briefly how you heard the kitten crying, the amount of time it took to save the small creature, and how you plan to take it to a vet to see if it has an owner. After you’re finished speaking, Hange is quick to ask you “Can we keep it if it doesn’t have a chip? C’mon, pretty please? This opportunity is perfect! We won’t have to pay hundreds of dollars to adopt one, we just gotta cover the essentials!” They beg you, barely even stopping for breath as they plead quickly. “I don’t know, Han… Let me take it to the vet first. I’ll let you know what happens from there.”

Hange has been on the edge of their seat all day. You’ve been sending them updates, albeit slowly, considering the kitten is being tested for multiple things, like parasites, ear and eye infections, and other long term health conditions like feline leukemia. What they know so far is that the kitten is- according to the vet- probably a girl, not microchipped, and the poor thing is infested with fleas. You had mentioned to Hange that the vet said it’s a little bit early to tell if she’s really a girl, but that she currently looks like one. Hange has never been so attached to their phone at work before. They can’t help but glance at it between sentences, hoping to see their screen lit up by a message from you.

Today has been tiring, despite not even truly having gone into work. You’re stressed, nervous, and worst of all, bored. Your boredom doesn’t help your running thoughts. Instagram can only distract your brain so much when all you can think about is this kitten you’ve unwillingly bonded with. The longer you sit in the waiting room, the more you realize how worried you really are about being able to keep the kitten, despite your initial reservations about keeping a stray animal. She was just that cute. Throughout the whole car ride to the vet, she sat in your lap obediently, even curling up into a ball and purring. Not once did she cry or try to escape your lap. She had only started crying once you left her alone with the vet, and that broke your heart more than you’re willing to admit. You already feel like you have a bond with her, and it would be devastating if she happened to be sick or injured. What you’re waiting for right now is for her to use the bathroom. Number two is preferable, but they would work with number one if that’s all she could do. You silently thank yourself for stopping by a grocery store to get her some canned cat food, which she had eaten in the car on the way here. After waiting in the vet for a whopping 4 more hours, they had concluded all of the proper tests. The vet calls you back into the exam room, ready to talk about the results. Apparently, she ended up doing number 2 when she was left alone in a kennel. “Hello Mrs. Zoe!” He says with a friendly smile. “So, I’ll start with the bad news. Our little friend here has plenty of fleas, which I’m sure you saw already, and after running tests on her stool, I found that she does indeed have a parasite.” After hearing his words, you feel your nervousness festering more than ever. You nod at his words, urging him to continue. “But, there’s plenty of good news. The parasite is nothing life-threatening. She just needs to be medicated every day for a week. Other than that, she is entirely healthy. Do you plan on keeping her?” You think about your answer for a moment, but inside, you knew your mind was already made up. You had plenty of time to think about it in the waiting room, and you can’t deny the fact you’re already smitten with the small animal. You nod at him, a small smile appearing on your face as well. “Well, that’s great! You’ll have to come back tomorrow or the day after to pick up her medicine. We’ll give you a call when it’s ready to be picked up.” He flashes you another award-winning smile before leaving the room to retrieve the kitten. “Congratulations, she’s very well behaved.” He comments as he hands her back to you carefully. “Thank you, doctor. My spouse is going to be absolutely over the moon.” You giggle softly as you hold her once more and leave the office. You hold the kitten in one hand, and reach into your pocket to check the time on your phone. By now, it was almost time for Hange to get off of work. You sit in the car, the kitten once more making herself comfortable on your lap. You try not to think about her fleas as you take a moment to video call Hange once more.

Hange had just finished their last class of the day when you called. They were sitting at their desk, grading some old assignments before they officially left school. This was typical for them, because they absolutely hated dealing with the traffic caused by all of the other teachers, as well as students and school buses leaving the area at once. They see your call and immediately answer with a huge, dopey smile on their face. “Hi, love!” They exclaim, evidently excited for whatever updates you’re going to give them. When the video loads, they aren’t met with your dazzling beauty, but another small, adorable face. You can’t help but giggle as you look down at your phone, the angle making the kitten look funny. She paws the screen in front of her. “D'aww!! She’s so cuteee!” Hange squeals with excitement at the view. You giggle lightheartedly at Hange’s childish excitement. Their enthusiasm for the world around them was something that drew you in immediately about them, and it is still a trait that you adore. “Isn’t she? She’s so sweet and well behaved.” You move the phone away from the kitty, instead showing Hange your face. “Has she melted your cold heart already?” They tease with a soft chuckle. “Oh, shut up Hange!” You giggle at their joke anyways. “I’m just teasing, love. Soooo… Is she ours? Is she healthy?” They ask excitedly, but they already assume that the answer is yes, considering how happy you seem to be. “I just got done speaking with the vet, apparently she has a parasite.” You notice Hange’s lips part into an ‘o’ shape as you say this. You can also notice the concern morphing its way into their features. “But he said that after being medicated for… like… a week or so, she should be perfectly fine.” Hange’s earlier excitement makes a comeback, the worry melting off their features as they squeal a bit. “C’mon, we have to keep her!” They whine and plead. “You love her already, it’s obvious. Stop avoiding the question.” A pout forms on Hange’s lips as they try to convince you for the umpteenth time to have a pet. You sigh softly at their cute expression, giggling breathily at their antics. “I do love her. And you’re right, this is a perfect chance for us to have a pet since we didn’t have to buy her. I guess love is about compromise, or whatever… And since I know how much you’ve always wanted a cat, we can keep her.”

Hange had rushed home in record speed. It’s shocking that they got home in one piece without any tickets or crashes. You were right in the assumption that they would be over the moon about this perfect coincidence, Hange wanted to meet her more than anything. You have been home for a bit by the time Hange arrives at your shared home. They practically launch through the door, before realizing their excitement might startle the kitten. When you hear the door opening, you greet them at the door with your arms open wide. They quickly rush into your embrace, lifting you up and enthusiastically shaking you around. They place a chaste kiss on your lips before putting you on the floor once more. “Not that I’m not excited to see you, but where is she?” They ask with childlike excitement. They’re practically bouncing off the walls. As if on cue, a high pitched cry emits from the bathroom. “I have her in the bathroom right now and I put a blanket in there with her. We’re-” Your sentence is cut off by Hange making their way to the bathroom, carefully opening the door. You smile at their excitement, following after them. “Make sure she doesn’t get out. We’re gonna need to give her a flea bath before she can leave the bathroom.” Hange mumbles out a ‘mhm’ before kneeling beside the bathtub. The kitten is looking up at them with big doe eyes. Hange is doing all they can not to squeal and shout from how utterly adorable she is. You decide to take a seat on top of the closed toilet, simply content to see your partner so lively. Hange carefully outstretches their hand to the animal, who seems to back away the tiniest bit. “Heeeeyyyyyyy baby…” They whisper quietly. “Pspspsp…” The kitten sniffs Hange’s finger skeptically, but doesn’t react otherwise. They take this as a sign that it’s okay to pet her. Two of their lithe fingers scratch at the top of the kitten's head, much to her content. Hange mumbles sweet, hushed words to the animal that you can’t really hear. The world around you seems to grow blurry, as you tune out everything else that isn’t your partner and your newfound pet. There wasn’t anything else worth caring about at the moment. The tenderness Hange displays, a stark contrast from their typical erraticism, has your heart thumping in your chest. Hange has always been equally caring as they are observant. While Hange will probably always be excitable, they’re very aware of other’s emotions. They know when someone is overwhelmed or tired, or maybe shy and nervous, meaning they always know when they should turn it down a notch. Quiet moments with them were always your favorite moments. Moments where you two could simply be, without the need for conversation or action. Moments like this morning, where you can stare at their tired face without any ounce of uncomfort. Hange scoops up the kitten into their arms, holding her near their chest, seemingly unbothered by the fleas littering her body. They look up at you, smiling with their teeth and giggling. Their eyes are squinted shut by how much they’re smiling. Even as you’re lost in thought, not fully aware, you smile back at them unconsciously because it’s second nature. You snap out of your trance when you see a flea jump off of her body. “Yuck.” You say, squishing the bug with your shoe and picking it up with a piece of toilet paper. “I picked up some flea shampoo when I went to get her something to eat.” You say, holding up a purple bottle. “She won’t like this, but put her in the sink.”

The two of you have spent the better part of an hour picking the rest of the bugs out of the kitten's fur. The flea bath helped substantially, but there were still some that crawled around. Neither of you have spotted bugs for a few minutes, so you retire from your task, wrapping the small animal in a towel as Hange holds her, trying to transfer their own warmth to her. “She’s such a sweetie.” They coo softly, bouncing the kitty as if she’s a small child. “We should feed her soon. Did you get anything else from the pet store?” They ask, tilting their head at you as they ask. “No, she got really antsy when she was alone for too long, so I tried to run in and out as fast as possible. We’re gonna have to go back.” “Oh, but we can’t leave her to go out, what if she thinks we abandoned her!?” They ask you with puppy eyes. “We can’t take her out, she could still have fleas. I can ask someone to watch her while we go out.” You say, pulling out your phone to text one of your and Hange’s shared friends.

Levi and Erwin step into your home, the former appearing to be intensely displeased. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this on a weekday.” Levi grumbles, while Erwin smiles politely at you and Hange. “He’s being dramatic, it’s no trouble. You two will only be gone for an hour before we head home again.” Erwin chuckles, walking to the living room, where the now dried kitten sits on the couch. She runs and hides at the sight of so many people. “Thank you guys for doing this, I know it’s last minute.” You chuckle nervously at Levi’s obvious irritation. “We didn’t exactly have the luxury to give you notice, Shorty.” Hange teases, grinning as Levi rolls his eyes. “Whatever, three eyes. Get going so we can get home already.” Hange pouts, not only from the nickname, but also at the fact they’re being rushed out of their own home. You try not to burst out laughing at the nickname. “Three eyes is diabolical.” You choke out, opting to take their hand and head out, hopefully so Hange doesn’t feel embarrassed. “We’ll be back soon, thank you again!” You wave, before hopping in the car with a pouting Hange to get supplies for your currently unnamed pet.

Who knew shopping with Hange would take so long? You knew, actually. You were vaguely aware of the fact that Hange’s erraticism isn’t the best trait when trying to go shopping quickly. You’ve only been shopping with them a few times, and after an hour of bouncing around the store, it becomes a little bit tiring. This doesn’t even account for the many different random items they tend to pick up and insist they need. A similar thing happens when you attempt to shop for your cat. You asked Hange to find a decently sized litter box, and they come back to beg you for toys they think look funny, a bed shaped like a ramen cup, a hat for the kitten, and a matching onesie for her. You have to refrain from twitching your eye as they entirely forgot to get the litter box you tasked them to find. You end up putting the toys, bed, and hat in the basket, since you planned on buying her these things anyway. “Han... My beloved... You forgot the litter box.” You watch as they chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of their neck. “Right... Be right back.” They turn away, determined to get the litter box, (and only the litter box,) while you decide between two bundles of kitten food.

Hange finds you once more, looping their arms around your waist. You’re momentarily shocked, but you quickly recognize the scent of them surrounding you. They place their head on your shoulder, proud of the fact they managed not to pick up anything except the litter box. They poke your cheek, giving you a grin. When you turn your head towards them, they tap their finger against their cheek, silently asking to be rewarded for completing the task you gave them. You roll your eyes playfully and give them a soft peck.

You return home after an hour and a half, being slightly delayed by Hange’s typical short and ever-changing attention span. Erwin helps you and Hange bring in the bags of cat necessities. You and Hange tiredly plop down on your couch once you’ve finished, feeling tired from all the events of the day. Levi sighs from beside you. You and Hange look at him, seeing the cat curled up and sleeping on his lap. “This damn cat wouldn't leave me alone. Always craving attention, like it can't survive without constant petting. Needy little furball.” He grumbles. Despite his attitude, he still allows her to sleep in his lap, which you and Hange are both grateful for. He carefully picks her up, shifting her into Hange’s lap instead. They both try their best to ensure she isn’t disturbed by the transfer. You stand up as Levi does, seeing the couple out. “Thank you both again for doing this. We’ll see you guys on Sunday for dinner. It’s our turn to cook this week!” You giggle. Erwin pats your shoulder in a dad-like fashion. “Don’t mention it. Levi was loving the attention she gave him. See you Sunday.” He smiles. To this, Levi rolls his eyes, elbowing his lover lightly as you see them out.

Once again, you plop on the couch beside your own lover. They look at you with worry. “What are we going to do with her? She’s gonna be so scared if we leave her at home, all alone...” You raise your eyebrow, wondering where this conversation is leading. “I’m sure she’ll get used to it. It’s impossible for us to have someone watch her every day while we’re at work.” In response to your words, they cover the kitten's ears. “You’re evil! How could you talk about our daughter that way?” They pout, giving you puppy eyes. You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully at their joke. “You know...” They start. You look at them tiredly, knowing you probably won't like whatever comes next. “We could always get another to keep her company.”

[ayeohtee]

Erwin x Reader

(in all my one shots i will write hange as a woman. i know they’re technically nonbinary but i see her as a woman)

[been a bit, enjoy!]

♘ ♛ ♘

The company dance was something you looked forward to every year. The company you worked for was no doubt prestigious and extremely formal, you wouldn’t expect anything less from one of the best law firms in the nation.

But you’d never had a date to the dance in the four years you had worked for Zackary Enterprises. In fact, you began to feel lonely every time you walked through the doors to the lobby of the main office the night of the dance, everyone’s arms occupied by their partner. Every single person except for you. Well, except for you and your coworkers Erwin and Levi.

Levi, whom you had become well acquainted with and had also won a couple of cases with, had never had any interest in romantic affairs. You would say it was surprising, but with his stoicism and his lack of care for anything beyond work, it really didn’t.

Erwin, on the other hand, was someone who was known throughout the law industry for singlehandedly winning plenty of trials. A walking legend when it came to the courthouse and a brilliant asset to Zackary Enterprises. So brilliant that his services cost well over $1,500 per hour worked on his assigned cases. Of course, that meant his work was usually bought by people who earned more money than half of the company combined, but you were surprised at the distances people would travel just to work with him, the furthest you were aware of being the niece of the UAE president.

It started as an admiration for him. You looked up to him, figuratively and literally. And then after months, you shocked yourself when you realised you were slowly gaining a type of fondness for him. You deemed it ridiculous, your crush on the blonde. You had only spoken with him a handful of times, all of those times accompanied by Levi or a mutual friend Hange. Perhaps it was his eyes or the confidence he carried himself with. Or the softness in his expression when he was at ease during the conversation. His aura, maybe? The atmosphere that hung around him even?

You weren’t sure what it was, but something about him always drew your attention to him. Like a moth to a light. Your friends always talked to you about how Erwin would bring you up in random conversations they held. It often grasped your attention, the way you became the topic in conversation. It was rather intriguing, if you were to be honest.

The talks with your friends often had you convincing yourself that maybe, just maybe, he admired you similarly to the way you admired him. Then the thought occurred to you, perhaps you’d go to the dance with Erwin as your partner. But you were far too cowardly to ask him yourself, his presence alone made you want to shrink back into the shadows and stay there forever. You had to mentally thank Levi and Hange for being by your side each time you managed to hold a conversation with him, without them you were sure you would’ve collapsed.

So you waited. You waited for days, weeks even, just hoping he would come to you and ask you to the dance. Walking through the office during the week you’d find him looking at you, and when he noticed you looking at him he’d simply smile and wave. You were never one to refuse the return of a distant greeting, reciprocating the action more often than not. But it wasn’t a conversation, one that revolved around the dance.

You were beginning to lose hope at this point. There were no signs of him asking you to the dance and you were readying yourself for another dance you’d arrive alone to. Tapping your pen against your desk, your cheek resting against your fist as your elbow was propped up on the desktop, you’re startled as one of your coworkers walks into your office and greets you, the pen you held in your hand falling and clattering onto the table. Looking up, you see Miche looking at you with an apologetic expression.

“Oh, hey.” You return as you lean back in your chair. “What’s up?” He looked around your space, observing the few certificates that lined the wall behind you.

“Nothing, nothing. Just wanted to see if you needed a hand, I’ve just handed in my last report for the day and the boss said I could go home if I wanted to,” the blonde states. You raise an eyebrow, gazing around him and at the door that was left slightly ajar. At that same moment, you find Hange walking past and then casting a glance into the room, making eye contact with her.

Her eyes widened, and then you blink and she was gone. You blink again in confusion, wondering if you had imagined the woman or not. You forgot Miche was talking to you until he started laughing nervously, which was a bit out of character because he wasn’t one to talk much. This whole conversation seemed completely out of character for him, so you tuned back in after his small nervous laughter.

“Hey, um, I was wondering if you had anyone to go to the dance with.” He asked, eyes only meeting yours for the briefest of moments every few seconds. You hum quietly, staring at him unblinkingly.

“I don’t.” You answer shortly, thinking if this was heading where you thought it was heading.

“Would you maybe wanna go with me?” His question would’ve surprised you if it weren’t so predictable. You will admit, you wanted to decline. You didn’t know him very well, and with how fidgety he was you could nearly guarantee he had some sort of crush on you. Though, refusing meant you were going to show up to the dance alone yet again.

The dance was the coming Friday, which was two days from now, and the chances of Erwin asking your cowardly self to the dance were slim to none. Showing up alone was one of the last things you wanted, so with a sigh, you agreed.

“Sure. I’ll go with you.” Your voice was neutral and you felt bad for your lack of enthusiasm. He was clearly excited as you agreed to his invitation, but you couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that it was Miche in the position you wanted Erwin in. Your heart sunk a bit, but you muster up your best smile as he sheepishly bid you a farewell and exited your office, leaving you perplexed and speechless. Why? You weren’t sure, but imagine your surprise as Erwin glared at the man as he entered as Miche left.

You watched him enter your office, expression hard; not a common expression that would usually make his face home. His long strides leaked confidence, his jaw set tight as his usually warm eyes were now stone cold.

“Mr Smith, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You ask calmly, only to be surprised but his rather cold response.

“Darius had me look over your report on the murder case you solved a fortnight ago. Do it again, you’re lacking many details.” His tone was cold and you shrink back in your chair slightly, reaching for your pen again so you had something to fidget with.

“I- uh, yes of course. Many apologies.” You manage to get out, taken aback by Erwin’s sudden cold tone. It hurt, you shamefully recoiled in your seat as he cast you a glare, a glare that you didn’t know you earned. He left, closing the door a little louder than you expected and you flinched a little in response.

What did you do wrong?

But little did you know, Hange and Levi heard all of it right from the moment Miche asked you to the dance, and Erwin heard you agree to the invite. He didn’t realise it, or rather he refused to acknowledge it mentally, but it ignited some type of distaste in him. The thought of you with Miche irked him and he didn’t know why. So why he took a sudden emotional turn on you was beyond him, and as he exited your office he had to fight the urge to slap himself in the face.

The look on your face as he demanded you redo your report; a report that was flawless, it nearly made him apologise. But why was his change in behaviour your fault? Why was it influenced by you and your decisions?

As he walked through the office, he felt eyes on him. Maybe his voice was louder than he thought and the office heard how he spoke to you. He stopped in the middle of the office and turned to look, but no one seemed to pay any mind to him. All until his arms were seized in the hands of Hange and Levi as they dragged him back to his office.

“As the smart one,” Hange begins. “I don’t think your brain could’ve been any more smooth than in that exact moment right there.” She was pissed, Erwin could sense it rolling off her in waves. Levi moved to the far wall, leaning against it with his arms folded, head shaking in disappointment. He never needed to word his thoughts for Erwin to understand. The three have known each other since the very beginning of law school, so reading each other was never an issue.

Until it was an issue.

That’s when hiding anything from the two became impossible, and Erwin could barely escape them when it came to his emotions. Which is exactly why they were absolutely pissed at him for acting that way towards you after you responded to Miche the way you did.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the blonde tried anyway. Both Hange and Levi rolled their eyes simultaneously, clearly not buying it.

“Are you actually demented?!” Hange exclaimed.

“Lower your tone, idiot,” Levi hissed, demanding the hysterical glass eyed woman reduced her volume. She ignored him, Erwin stared at her blankly.

“Are you done? I’d like to get started on a new case I’ve been assigned to.” Erwin’s voice was monotonous as he walked across the room and settled in his chair behind his desk. Hange huffed in fury.

“Levi, you deal with him. He’s so damn infuriating to even look at right now,” Hange says with grit teeth as she pulls at her hair, facing the wall. The raven clicked his tongue, turning from the brunette to the blonde.

“I don’t know if you’re blind or just an oblivious idiot thats needs to be kicked but she’s been waiting for you to ask her to the dance.” Levi informed, annoyance lacing his voice. Erwin looked up from his desk at the raven, and then to the brunette whose back was still to him.

“She was waiting for me to ask her to the dance.” He repeated dumbfounded. He was going to. He just didn’t know how to, and if the timing was going to be right and if you’d even agree-

“Yes, you stupid bastard!” Hange fumes, turning back to Erwin with fury in her eyes. “She was waiting for you. You! And now Miche’s got her!” Her arms flailed about as she emphasised her feelings with movements. The blonde remained silent.

“Hange, get out.” Levi snapped and she turned to glare at him. “Now.” It took her a moment, but she scoffed as she stormed across the office and through the door, slamming it behind her.

“Levi,” Erwin says neutrally. The raven only returned with a glare as a response, pushing himself off the wall and pacing to the door.

“Sort your shit out. Fucking talk to her, apologise. Just don’t make such stupid moves again.” And then Erwin was left alone in his office with a head of questions and a heart of guilt.

You were waiting for him, but he caught on too late.

[chaotic-on-main]

Chapter 1: November

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, eventual smut (these update with every chapter)

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! This is my first time writing fanfiction in a loooooong time, like the last time I wrote was probably in 2011. So with that said please be kind with any feedback or comments. I hope you enjoy! (also I made Hange's pronouns she/her/them/they)

Edit (11/27/2023): Hey guys, welcome to my little world of Unspoken Words. I have quite literally used this story as a way to better myself as a writer. As you read on, you may find that I've progressed (ofc I have a long way to go) but because of that, my first few chapters might be rough. With your patience, you may find a liking to this story as I know I've loved writing every word of it.

☾ word count ➼ ~7.1k

20-something years ago 

You’re not sure how, but you find yourself sitting in the back of a big, white van. Red and blue lights danced in your eyes, and it felt like a thousand people surrounded you. Something plastic is placed on your face then you are instructed to breathe in deeply. You thought it was funny to be told to breathe, like you don’t just do it naturally, but you follow instructions regardless. It’s hard though, every part of your body hurts, chest included. Every breath you take feels like your insides are on fire.  

‘Fire’, you think.  

Everything is on fire.

 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Present Day

Levi stood blank faced as he meticulously cleaned the blender station for what felt like the 100th time today. The late afternoon rush had just tapered down so he took advantage of the next to empty café to clean as much as he could before closing for the evening.  

“It’s 20 degrees outside, how are people still wanting frozen drinks.” he murmurs to himself, placing the blender back in its spot. Levi turns to the front counter and slings the towel he was using to dry things onto his shoulder.  

His best friend, roommate, and business partner could be seen restocking some books on tall shelves, a gentle smile lighting up his boyish features. It’s been about a year and a half since they started this business venture together and they had no idea at the time how successful their bookstore-café combo would be in this small town.  

Erwin’s thirst for knowledge kept their shelves as variable as ever while Levi’s love for perfecting the art of tea kept the drinks flowing. The problem, however, was Levi’s lack of people skills. He was seldom seen at the register, nor would you ever see him smile or talk to the customers. He often would leave you with a grunt and a swift turn after handing off the drinks.  

No, for that, they had hired a couple of local highschoolers to do the facing work.  

“Mr. Smith, Levi?” a soft voice rang out to the left of him. Levi shifted his attention to a taller girl with shoulder length raven hair standing next to him. Being as Mikasa is his cousin, they found early on how weird it was to be called ‘Mr. Ackerman’ as they shared the same surname. It was this connection too that got them to where they are today.  

“Would it be okay if Eren and I take off a little early tonight? We have some big tests coming up and we’d like to take some extra time to study.” Mikasa shifted her dark eyes to the darkening windows as the sun set just over the horizon. Pinks and oranges flooded the partially clouded skies.  

”Tch.” Levi could not help but roll his eyes. He raised a brow at her and leaned back against the counter behind him for support. “Sure, I guess,” he continues. “But do you really need it or is it for that blockhead?”  

As if summoned by his words, Eren comes up from behind Mikasa and wraps a red scarf around his girlfriend’s neck, both of their jackets hanging off one of his arms. Eren is a good kid, always on time and followed directions, but the amount of sass he held in his body was something else. Levi and Erwin did not mind though, as he added a certain energy in the café that the customers seemed to enjoy. The two men wouldn’t say it out loud, but they really appreciated having them both on the team.  

“Hey, I heard that. And yes, I need to study desperately. Econ is so hard and for what?!” Eren’s teal eyes widened for emphasis. To add to it he even put on a fake pout.  

“I-”  

“Just take the trash with you on the way out and you’re good to go.” Erwin piped up from behind a bookshelf.  

Mikasa nodded in acknowledgement towards the voice, a silent thank you. Like Levi, she was not one for many words. He once thought it was an Ackerman thing but then he thought back to his annoying uncle and changed his mind quickly.  

With that, she and Eren both untangled the aprons from their bodies, grabbed their belongings, and picked up the trash bags that were already taken out of the cans. They opted to leave through the back since the dumpsters were located that way. Again, Levi wouldn’t say it to anyone out loud, but he really did like those kids.  

Erwin could be heard stacking more books into the shelves which left Levi to polish the counters again. It was the last hour before they closed so it stayed quiet for the most part, only interrupted by the sounds of scuffling shoes and books being placed on hard surfaces. Light jazz filled the rest of the silence. Then the bell signifying new customers rang from the front.  

“Levi, can you grab that?”  

The raven-haired man just huffed in response then stepped over to the register. His eyes fell on two figures right in front of him. A frazzled brunette and... you.  

Due to the season, you are bundled up in a thick parka and knitted beanie. A big scarf wraps around your neck and face so that all Levi could see is your flushed cheeks and thick lashed eyes. Truthfully, you reminded him of a marshmallow.  

“What’ll it be?” he asks, deadpan. The brunette is the one to respond, the voice loud enough to make him wince.  

“Hmmm... well one English breakfast tea latte with lots of room for sugar aaaaand I’ll take a peppermint hot chocolate. Oh, and extra whip! We’ll drink it here.” She fished out a card with a dramatic thwip and handed it to Levi’s outstretched hand.  Their café is one of those where if you were to stay, they offered washable cup ware as to keep the prices down on disposable cups. Not to mention the lessened ‘environmental impact’ as Erwin would say.  

Levi glances at you before turning to make both orders. You give a small wave and smile a little, but he was already working quickly on the drinks. 

He went into autopilot as he steeped the tea and steamed the milk. He really appreciated customers that ordered anything outside of coffee, especially when it came to tea. It’s not that he hated coffee, though it’s not like he liked it either, but it just wasn’t his thing. Coffee offered a different kind of bitterness that he wasn’t very fond of. With extra whipped cream in one and extra space in the other, he whirled around to place the drinks on the counter.  

The one with glasses is the one that picks them up and they promptly walk in the direction of where you currently sit, one of the tables in the back corner by the window. You were stripped of your big parka and scarf, though the beanie stayed. Your eyes were wandering around the café in wonder, and Levi was pretty sure this had to be your first time here. But truthfully, he wouldn’t know, he didn’t make it his business to know his customers. That was Erwin’s and the kids’ job. 

“The shelves are full and I’m exhausted.” Erwin came around the counter with a couple of empty boxes in his arms, heading straight for the back to the dumpster. Levi stepped back and leaned against the counter once again, his own black tea that had steeped while making yours cradled in his fingertips. He kept looking at his only customers while he sipped the black liquid. The teacup almost slipped out of his grip as he saw you dumping a large amount of sugar into your cup.  

 There you sit, extremely focused on the cup in front of you and lips pressed together tightly, almost as if you were afraid you’d put in too much. The sight would have been funny if you hadn’t just ruined your entire tea, he thinks to himself. You smile to yourself in satisfaction and put the sugar jar back where it came from. While you stir the sweetener in gently, the brunette in front of you talks animatedly. Hands were flying everywhere, and Levi could practically feel the energy radiating from the corner of the room.  You were doing the same, silently laughing. 

Suddenly the front door flew open, the bell ringing loudly with it. Levi grits his teeth, steeling himself for yet another customer interaction. But his shoulders dropped in relief at the sight of only Carly, Erwin’s girlfriend. She saunters up to the counter with a big smile aimed towards Levi and without even asking she slid behind the bar. Erwin had already made it from the back and was in the process of putting away the leftover ingredients from the day. Carly wraps her arms around her boyfriend and plants a big kiss on his face, to which Levi quickly looks away. It wasn’t weird for her to come in right as they were about to close.  

What was weird, he thought, was the shock that flooded your face as you eyed the very public display of affection. Levi knit his brows in confusion as the brunette pivoted in her seat to see what you were staring at. Their face fell, any evidence of a good time completely erased.  

“Carly?”  

The person in question whipped around so fast at the voice and the panic that exuded from her was palpable. She quickly unwrapped herself from Erwin’s embrace.  

“Hange.”  

If it wasn’t for the jazz in the background, the lengthy silence that followed would have been deathly.  

Carly clears her throat and laughs awkwardly.  

“Uh, why are you here?”  

The person named Hange just lifts their hot chocolate cup awkwardly, not really saying anything. Their eyes shift between Carly and Erwin, clearly understanding what had happened.  

“I-I’m sorry, you guys know each other?” Erwin sounds cautious, like he already knew the answer. Of course, he would, he isn’t dumb. His piercing blue eyes survey the situation, going back and forth between the two.  

“Well, uh. I-” Carly stutters, clearly at a loss of what to say in the predicament she found herself in.  

“She’s my girlfriend.” Hange claims calmly.  

This admission makes Erwin sigh heavily, confirming what he had pieced together. Levi stared at him in bewilderment as the man just chuckled quietly.  

“Well. I suppose that’s it then.” And with that he turns on his heel and stalks off to the back room. 

“Wait, Erwin I can explain!” She follows right on his heels and disappears into the back room as well. A minute later you can hear hysterical crying and calm retorts reverberating from the back. If Levi could shrink into the cabinets to get out of this situation, he would. Instead, he focuses on the other party who were having a very quiet and rushed discussion. Well, a one-sided discussion, as he only heard one voice.  

Levi, realizing it was almost time to close anyways, rushes to close the distance between him and the front door. He really did not want to have to deal with other customers while the drama unfurled. So, he flips the door sign to ‘Closed’ and unplugs the ‘Open’ neon sign hanging in the window. A couple walks by about to open the door, probably out for a café date from the looks of it. But they were only met with a dead stare from the sharpest eyes they’d ever seen. With that, they briskly turned around and left down the sidewalk.  

Levi spins around and from here he gets a better look at the two trapped customers. You were moving your hands all over the place like you were earlier. But with an even closer look he realizes you weren’t just talking animatedly with your hands; you were talking with them. You were signing. 

You reacted to your partner’s conversation just fine, so it was clear you had some sort of hearing. Your scarf now hung loose around your shoulders, and it looked like you had tears brimming in your eyes. Levi swiftly walks back to the counter; this is obviously not a conversation he needed to be a part of.

“Hey, don’t worry about me. It’s only been a couple of months. Really, it’s better to find out now than 3 years from now.” They laughed without humor. You know when Hange was saving face for your sake, she was never as sly as she thought she was.  

‘You don’t need to be strong right now.’ You sign then reach your hand out to touch her cheek softly. Physical touch had become your second language early on, if only to emphasize. Fortunately, Hange was okay with that and often embraced it with open arms.  

“I know, my little strawberry. I just need some time to process everything.” They pat you on the head lightly with a small grin. You swat their hands, blushing at the nickname you were so graciously given so many years ago.  But you nod back, knowing they would not change their mind.  

The tall blonde glides through the back door, alone. His face was grim as he tugged loose the tie around his neck.  

“Hange, was it?” He started walking towards you and your very startled sister.  

“U-uh yeah. That’s my name! Listen I had no idea, I’m so sorry. I would have said something obviously but-”, they take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. What’s your name again?”  

“Erwin Smith. There is nothing to apologize for as I can only assume there’s only one blame to be given. I hate that we must meet under such a circumstance, but it is truly nice to meet you.” He raises a hand waiting for a handshake.  

Hange takes it after a second of processing, shaking the hand vigorously with both hands.  

“Well, unfortunately it is what it is. I’m sure Carly and I will be speaking soon. I’m assuming she’s not just hiding back there.” They flick their gaze to the back door he had just come through.  

“Ah well, yes. Long gone... how long were you two...?”  

“Only like, 3 months or so. You?” 

He flinched at that and murmured, “3 Years.” 

Thinking back to her comment not 10 minutes ago, Hange bit their cheek.  

“Oh man I’m so sorry.”  

“No, please. It’s alright. None of this is yours or my fault. We couldn’t have known, but now we do.” Erwin chuckled to himself. You wonder if he’s trying to save face the way your sister did. His gaze now shifts to you. He is a very handsome man. To your extreme surprise, he starts signing to you. 

‘I'm sorry, who might you be? I noticed you signing earlier. I know a little from the books I have read.’ His crystal blue eyes sparkle at you as he signs. You can’t help but break out into a huge grin. You sign your name back and compliment him on his raw signing form.  

‘I am of hearing, though. So please feel free to talk, and I will sign back.’ You clarify to Erwin, the smile not falling from your face.  

“That sounds like a plan. Levi, stop hiding behind the counter and come say hi.” Erwin calls out, not bothering to look over his shoulder. You hear a grunt in response and not 10 seconds later, the barista stands cross armed next Erwin. He nods a hello to each of you.  

You knew he was shorter than you, at least a couple inches, based off the interaction at the counter earlier. But seeing him side by side with his friend was almost comical. But as short stature as he was, it did not keep him from holding himself with such authority. It made you nervous.  

‘Thank you for the tea, it was very good.’ You sign, your sister translating in real time for you.  

“Tch, are you sure? I saw you dump enough sugar in it to make it syrup.” Levi retorts dryly.  

That makes you smile sheepishly. His fixated stare unnerved you a little, but you stare back regardless. Now that he was closer, a glass case no longer between the both of you, your eyes traveled along his face in close inspection. 

He’s beautiful, you think to yourself. His features are sharp and angled. Steely gray eyes pronounced a permanent exhausted look. It was a shade of gray you’ve never seen before, and they were mesmerizing. As if he could feel you staring holes in his face, he flicks his eyes to the side, clearly uncomfortable. But you can’t help it, because really the most intriguing thing about him was not his metallic eyes. It was the scars that marred his porcelain skin.  

A couple of scars ran down the right side of his face. The prominent of the two trailed from the top right of his forehead all the way down to his chin, cutting into his right eye and both lips. You’re pretty sure his eye was quite damaged due to the slight muted discoloration of the eye color.  

He’s beautiful, you repeat to yourself. You glance over to Hange, and they just look over at you with a knowing look. You know she was just begging to ask Levi too, but she just shakes her head. So, you fold your hands together and pinch your lips together.  

“Well!” Hange yells out, breaking the silence. “This human really needs a drink. Let’s all go! Erwin, I demand you let me treat you to a couple drinks!” She wraps an arm around your shoulders and laughs.  

“A drink sounds fantastic; I will gladly take you up on that offer. Let me just close up rea-” He’s cut off by Levi raising both of his hands up in protest. You notice the two missing fingers on his right hand. The pointer and middle were gone. Whatever this man went through, you just had to know. But you toss those questions onto an ever-growing pile and bite your cheek.  

“Erwin, I can close up. You go ahead.” Your sister just smiles widely and practically jumped up and down. The blonde man just clapped his hand Levi’s shoulder and smiled at him.  

“Thank you. You’ll join us after? The usual place?” Levi just shrugs his shoulders in response.  

Part of you hoped he would. You couldn’t place a singular reason why though.  

.

Fifteen minutes later, the three of you found yourselves in a well-lit and very crowded bar. Somehow Erwin had snagged a table near the back wall. Heavy rock blares loudly from a live band maybe 20 feet away. Overwhelming was an understatement, but you grit your teeth and sit down on one of the stools.  

“Whatcha want, my darlings?!” Hange yells over the music, slapping both hands down on the table and staring at the both of you.  

“Whiskey neat, whatever they offer is fine.”  

You sign the words ‘apple’ and ‘juice’ followed by a ‘thank you’. You’ve never been one for a drink. While it was tolerable to be around, you’d rather not have to taste it if you could help it.  

Looking around, you see all manners of people surrounding you. Something about it makes your stomach turn but you shift in your seat to quell it down. You’re sure it’s only so crowded because of the prospect of a Friday night and the promise of no plans the following day. The town of Jinae was not anything special, but it was quaint. You and your sister found out quickly it was a place where everyone knew mostly everyone. After only settling down here from your hometown 5 months ago, you were still learning of all the local spots.  

From the looks of it, this bar was one of those. “The Scouts” was an inviting place, decorated with dark greens and wood tones. The walls were littered with many frames of a lot of different people. You imagine it might have been local residents in various locations of the town. All of the wood was worn down, so it was clear this place has been in business for a while. A neon sign hangs above the stage where the live band played, something that resembled blue and white wings. It makes you wonder what the significance is.  

Your thoughts are disturbed as a glass is placed in front of you. Realizing the dryness in your throat, you pick up the glass and take a big swig of the amber liquid. You’re met with a burning sensation, and you gag. This alerts Hange of the unfortunate mistake.  

“Ah I’m sorry my little strawberry!! They do look quite similar though, don’t they?” They switch the glasses quickly and laugh. You notice the very noticeable cup size differences between the two and you stare at her quizzically. “I may have taken a shot while at the bar, sorry.” she adds on. It makes you shake your head, but you grab her hand reassuringly and chuckle.  

‘I’m sorry.’ You sign at Erwin, and he just smiles back.  

“Not a problem. But I have to ask, how was it?” A bushy eyebrow raises at you in amusement.  

You just stick your tongue out and make a gagging gesture at him. You laugh though, not really upset.  

Two apple juices in, the live band ends. Hange and Erwin are very deep in conversation, which you suspect might be about Carly. You can’t really hear what’s being said though. With the absence of music, chatter quickly fills the air. Honestly it was really starting to get to you. So, after tapping on the pair’s shoulders and signing where you were going, you find yourself leaning over the guard rail just outside the bar’s door.  

The sun was already far gone. A crescent moon sits high in the sky and a smatter of stars surrounds it. The cold air felt very welcome on your very flushed face. You exhale a big sigh, which garners a puff of steam. It makes you laugh so you do it again. Then you start to wonder how long you might be able to last out here before getting frostbite when suddenly a body starts leaning against the rail next to you.  

With a start, you whip your head to face the newcomer. Instantly you relax at the sight of Erwin’s friend. He was adorned in a big peacoat and his casual slacks. A tan turtleneck sweater peaks out from the jacket’s collar. His face was flushed as well, no doubt from the cold.  

Levi. 

He wasn’t paying you any mind though, instead his gaze laid upon the sky above, at the stars. You wave at him anyways and offer a small smile. He glances at you with a side eye and returns a curt nod.  

Not one for words. 

So, you both stand there in silence, staring up at the twinkling lights above. It wasn’t uncomfortable in the slightest. Something about his presence radiated a sort of calm, and you were happy to bask in it.  

After a few minutes, he shifts his weight in your direction, so you face him. He’s staring up at you and it makes you swallow hard. His eyes glowed silver from the moonlight. Truly you have never been this fascinated with a person until now.  

“You like the stars.” It wasn’t a question, more like a statement.  

You nod in agreement, smiling to emphasize your love for them. He purses his lips at that. It seemed as if he wanted to say something else to that, but nothing came out. It just makes you frown a bit. You just have more questions that keep piling up. Everything about him just emanated mystery and it made you want to know all about him.  

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to him, exaggerating your frown to show your concern. You’re only met with a look of confusion. You forget that he does not know much if any sign. And you kick yourself for leaving your communication tools at home. To be fair though, this is not where you expected to be tonight.  

You then get an idea to use your phone to type to him but before you even reach into your pocket, you’re interrupted by a sudden blast of warm air as a couple stumbles out of the bar, both in a giggling fit as they cling to each other. They take off down the road, laughing even harder. The brief warm air makes you shiver, reminding you of the cold outside.  

As if thinking the same thing, Levi catches the door before it closes and holds it open for the both of you. You’re suddenly well aware of the very loud singing happening from within and your eyes widen at the familiarity of one of the voices. You and Levi make your way to the voices and are greeted with the sight of Erwin and Hange duetting a Backstreet Boys song.  

What a sight it was. The tall brunette, face flushed and glasses askew, had their arm around Erwin. He his blonde hair was quite tousled, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. They both swayed together as they belted out the lyrics. As if their smiles were contagious, you felt yourself grin. It was kind of cute. So, you pull out your phone and snap a quick picture, sure to show Hange in the morning. It was a good thing too, because the song ends right as you put your phone away in your bag. Levi clicks his tongue and huffs. You glance over at the noise and notice a small upturn to the corner of his scarred mouth. Noticing your gaze, his face vacates itself from any emotion as he stares back ahead.  

“Oi! Eyebrows!” He calls out to his friend. Levi starts making his way to the stage, walking with a slight limp. Yet another question to add onto the pile. “I’m gone for 45 minutes and you’re already singing.”  

“I’m fine! Just a couple drinks in.”  

You all make your way to the table you had laid claim to earlier. You survey the table and count at least 6 more glasses, not counting your two. It was hard to see who drank what.  

‘Are you okay?’ You sign to your sister, concern etched on your face. They just nod lazily and give a thumbs up with both hands. Levi is regarding you with a look of understanding, and it seems he realized that you had asked him outside.  Music starts playing over the speakers again, and people start making their way to the dance floor. Hange squeals and downs the rest of her drink quickly.  

“Erwin let’s go!” She grabs his arm, not waiting for a response. He gives a mock salute to the two of you and follows without question. Levi just clicks his tongue again and heads to the bar to get himself something. So, you plop yourself down on the stool and stare out into the room. Out of nervous habit you start fidgeting with the napkins in front of you. A moment later, Levi’s hobbling over with a tray of drinks. 

“I got the idiots some water, they look like they need it.” He places the glasses down with a thud, including one of his own housing some sort of caramel liquid. Then he’s sliding something over to you and you’re about to protest that you don’t drink but you realize it’s not a glass. It’s a notepad and pen.  

“If you need something, this might come in handy.” is all he says.  

You’re quick to show your appreciation with a bright smile. You also note to yourself that you could have very well have used your phone to communicate but you were not one to disregard someone’s thoughtfulness. It makes something bloom in your chest, warm and comforting.  

Your many years of not having a phone of course meant writing – a lot. Your handwriting evolved plenty with time so that meant it was extremely neat. It had to have been so that the reader would be able to read it without an issue. 

First you write your name, as you realize no one had really said it out loud while at the teashop. Following that you add ‘I think your shop is wonderful, and I really did enjoy the tea you made.’ You also want to jot down the questions from earlier that were still swimming in your mind, but you hold yourself back. You tell yourself maybe later, granted if there would even be a later.   

When angling the paper so he could see it, his eyes flit across the words quickly and you’re given a grunt in acknowledgement. Pulling back the notepad, you bite the inside of your cheek. While it wasn’t awkward being next to him, he sure made it hard to talk to. His cold demeanor gave you the feeling he wasn’t the type to talk about himself, especially with someone he just met. So, asking questions about him or his life was out the window. Likewise, he did not really seem interested in hearing your life story, not like you were planning to spill it anyways for fear of being met with disdain. You had plenty of experiences with that growing up.  

Tapping the pen against your chin, your eyes drift around the bar room. There a multitude of people lingering about, shouting over each other to be heard. A couple sits in a corner, whispering who knows what to each other. Both of their cheeks are flushed and eyes heavy with lust. A handful of people are on the dance floor grinding away, your sister and new friend sticking out like a sore thumb as they dance with reckless abandon. All of this gave you an idea, remembering something you’ve read before many moons ago. You start scrawling on the paper again.  

‘Are you a gambling man, Levi?’ 

You shift the pad back over to him and he glances down again after taking another sip of his spirit. He was holding his glass in a way you’d never seen before and honestly it was a little weird.  

“Tch, hardly. Why do you ask?” He looks hard at you as you scratch something else down.  

‘I propose a game to pass the time. Let’s make some bets about the random people in this room.’ 

He looks at you incredulously. You stand your ground, not averting your gaze even a little. When you don’t back down, he just scoffs and shakes his head at you.  

“I literally could not care less about these people,” he clicks his tongue. “But I suppose there’s not much else to do so I’ll bite.” Knocking back the rest of his drink, he moves around you to lean back against the wall so that he is facing the rest of the crowd. You shift so that you are doing the same. You don’t overlook the proximity to the shorter man, nor the fact that your arms are almost touching. You start to scribble once more.  

‘Winner gets to ask the loser one question.’ As his eyes fall on your words, he seems a little taken aback. Levi seems to think for a moment, like he’s weighing his pros and cons.  

“One non-personal question.” He amends. You both nod in agreement. So, your eyes travel around the room, looking for your first target. It falls on a group not so far away.  

‘I bet that gaggle of young girls over there are here for a bridal party.’

You point in the direction of the said group. Currently they were taking tequila shots, lime and all. All of them sparkled and were dressed up to the nines, save for the silly little hats adorning their heads. And they were having so much fun.  

“No way,” Levi scoffs, “That has to be a 21st birthday. They all look like babies.”  

Suddenly someone comes through a parting in the crowd with a tray of assorted colorful drinks garnished with cute little accessories. They all yell in excitement at the sight. One of the girls raises her glass and starts shouting.  

“To Estelle! May your married life be full of infinite love, happiness, and orgasms!” They all cheer and take big gulps of their drinks, followed by more giggling.  

Levi glances art you, his gray eyes dull in the dim bar light. An eyebrow lifts at you as well.  

“How did you know?” 

You do a sweeping gesture starting from one shoulder down to the opposite hip. He looks back over to the women and conveniently the soon-to-be-bride had faced your direction. She was indeed wearing a white sash sporting the word ‘BRIDE’ in bright pink letters. He huffs as he rolls his eyes, and you smirk at him in return. You press the pad over to him, already equipped with your question.  

Levi scoffs at your question. As promised, it wasn’t very personal. You figured ice breaker like questions were a good start. But his pause made you question if this was a good idea, you didn’t want to run him off or make him uncomfortable. Then he clicks his tongue, and his face softens ever so slightly.  

“My favorite hobby, huh? It would have to be cleaning.” He simply states. 

Cleaning?  

‘Like mopping, dusting, all that jazz?’  

“Yeah, it brings me peace. I like the control. Plus, I can't stand filthy things, people, or places. It’s repugnant.” He scrunches his nose at the last statement. A laugh bubbles up and you can’t help but let it loose. You’re shot with a glare and a sharp tone.  

“Funny?”  

You shake your head no and smile lightly while your hands move adeptly on the pad.  

‘Not funny, just amusing because it’s not something I would have expected. It’s different. If it makes you happy then it is an admirable hobby.’ 

Levi’s looking away from you now. If it wasn’t so dim, you would have seen there was a light dusting of pink color his cheeks and ears. He clears his throat and scans the room for his victim. His eyes land on the couple in the back corner whispering to each other. He notices their not-so-subtle hand movements as they felt each other up. Nodding in their direction, he looks back over to you, leaning close so you can hear.  

“I bet that couple will get up in the next 3 minutes and excuse themselves to somewhere private.” Your eyes travel in that direction, only to look away hastily at such an intimate scene. You’re not able to think of a counter-bet because honestly, you’re thinking the same thing. Your eyes settle back to his face, but he’s already looking back at the couple. If he noticed you staring, he didn’t say. Suddenly his face is filled with a satisfied look, only to be replaced quickly with a look of horror. You follow his gaze again, afraid of what you might see.

Fortunately, it’s nothing risqué, as you catch the tail end of the couple slipping into one of the public, unmarked restrooms. But the thought of their future actions was enough to gross you out. Looking back at Levi, you scrunch your face up in disgust. He nods in understanding.  

“This is why we don’t use public restrooms, especially in a bar.” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his good hand. “When I said somewhere private, I meant like a residence or something. Filthy animals, unbelievable. They better scrub that bathroom down. Maybe I should tell the bartender when they’re done. Maybe I should help clean.” 

His retorts crack you up, your shoulders bouncing from silent laughter. He just stares at you impassively as he runs his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face.  

“Well, it’s not like we should ruin their fun. Anyways I suppose I won. Let’s see... what’s your favorite color?” 

You part your lips, dumbfounded. This was never an easy question, as you found joy in a lot of different colors. You bite your lip and start writing, but after a couple minutes Levi rips the pad from your hands out of impatience.  

salmon 

turquoise? 

canary yellow! 

orange 

dark forest gre- 

He just looks at you in alarm.  

“Just pick one.” he scolds. 

You snatch the pad back and scribble down, ‘It’s not that simple!’  

“It is to me. White, easy.” You just stare right back at him, not believing what you just heard. Out of all the many shades and hues out there, this man decides the color white.  

‘Why?’ 

“It’s clean.” is the only response you get.  

It makes sense, you think. But seriously, this man was so weird. But like you said earlier, it was different and that made it refreshing to you. You start searching for your next bet.  

As if in a scene from a movie you’ve seen a dozen times came to life, your eyes snap to a lone woman sitting at the bar, nursing a drink and playing on her phone. A couple seats down, you spot a few men chatting. One of the men is staring hard at the very oblivious woman. You nudge Levi with your elbow, not unnoticing the slight flinch from your touch. You point to the scene, and he is quick to understand.  

“I bet when he walks over to her, she’ll get up and leave.” He says confidently.  

Trusting your instincts, you scrawl back quickly as you notice the man started making his way towards the woman. Sticking your tongue out at him, you angle the pad to him so he could see.  

‘Absolutely not. She’ll tell him off right away.’  

To both yours and his surprise, not one moment later she throws the rest of her drink contents onto the man’s head. She gathers her belongings, throws a wad of bills on to the bar, then stomps out of the establishment. The rejected man staggers back to his friends, and they applaud him for his supposed gall. This event left you both stunned. There’s a moment of pause where you and Levi just stare at each other before all hell breaks loose as he starts talking and you start scribbling furiously.  

“She walked away, I win.”  

‘She threw that drink on him, that’s practically telling him off. And that happened before any walking off.’  

“That hardly counts, no words were used.” He scoffs and folds his arms across his chest as he stares hard at you. You weren’t sure if the indignation was real or not, but it was evident in his face.   

‘Words are not always needed to convey intent.’ You shoot back at him, shifting your weight to tap your foot defiantly. You would know this of course.  

This makes Levi pause. He opens his mouth to say something but then Erwin and Hange came crashing into the little bubble you two had made. Suddenly the sounds of clinking glasses and mindless chatter came rushing in and you took a step back.  

“Um, I think Hange might have had a little too much tonight.” Erwin says, to which your attention is drawn to a very drunk Hange. They were a blubbering, sobbing mess. Whining about things that ranged from Carly to her work stress and everything in between. Your sister rarely got this drunk, but you imagine the events from earlier might have been her breaking point. This was a sign to get her home.  

You hastily round the table to wrap her arm around you and prop her up. Then after whipping a $20 out of your purse and throwing it on the table in front of the boys, you give them a grateful smile and sign to Erwin.  

‘Thank you both for tonight. She and I had a lot of fun. But I need to get her home before she gets worse.’ As if on cue, they let out a loud wail and start sobbing into your shoulder. You shift your body to hold them closer so that you don’t drop them. Erwin grabs your $20 and shoves it back in your purse before zipping it up. He had left you no time to protest as he places a large hand on your shoulder and stares intensely at you.  

“Please, let me take care of this. Tell them this was an exceptional time. And to please stop by the café again, we owe each a good, sober talk.” His bright blue eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at you warmly. “It was a pleasure meeting you too. I hope you join Hange on the café visits as well. I think Levi has warmed up to you just nicely.” He wiggles an eyebrow at his friend. Levi just shoves him back and rolls his eyes.  

“Tch, fuck off. She’s alright, I guess.” He’s staring at you now, not as cold as before. “You owe me an answer next time we meet.”  

You purse your lips at him and shake your head in disagreement. 

‘I totally won that, don’t even think otherwise.’ You jot down lazily on the notepad still on the table. It wasn’t as neat, but you were propping up a whole human, you couldn’t help it.   

“Are you sure you’re safe to get home okay? We can he-” You cut Erwin off with a wave of the hand. Their spot of choice was actually very lucky, as you only live a few minutes away. And to be honest, you needed the cold air. So, you sign a quick goodbye to your new friends and make your way out. 

Walking down the snowy sidewalk, you pat Hange’s head as she grumbles about random things. She opted to walk herself, but you kept your hand in theirs to lead them in the right direction. She only stumbled a few times but overall, you were able to keep a steady pace. You note that before you left, her glass of water had been untouched, so you make a mental reminder to hydrate her before throwing her in bed.  

‘Alcohol was not kind to those in their 30s’ you heard their voice say in the back of your mind.  

As your steps left crunching noises in their wake, you peer up at the moon and glittering stars. A certain raven-haired and silver-eyed man etched in your brain. You wonder how soon it will be before seeing him again.  

‘Levi’ you sign to yourself with a free hand. A smile cemented to your face the whole way home.

☾ Next Chapter: December

[riewritten]

「 MERE DROPLETS CAN STILL MAKE A GLASS FULL 」 • AO3

ERWIN X FEM!READER, ERWIN X YOU, NO Y/N

˚ · .─ SYNOPSIS: Despite blatant awareness of how much you hold him with affection, he will rely entirely on subtleties because he believes it's the farthest he must go. He'll keep doing just that until it piles up, up and up and up, until it brings Erwin on the verge of exploding. After all, mere droplets of water can still make a glass full. | READ CHAPTER 1 HERE

˚ · .─ WORDS: 3.5k

˚ · . ─ TAGS: age gap, angst because of the age gap lol, erwin is a professor/researcher while reader is his research assistant, touch-starved idiots

It was as if your creator just built you to ponder on nothing but the hypothetical—never satisfied, never quenched. Even right now, as Erwin is on the other side of the chaotic welcome party for you and your fellow exchange students, you cannot—for the love of god—settle yourself. Amidst the energy these new people offer before you, you find nothing but exhaustion for fooling yourself. Seeing Erwin, not a country away from you, so reachable, and yet your greedy ego could still not be quenched, made you realize that coming here will never be enough. You need to hold him. You need to be at least an inch apart from his face. Only now did you realize that Levi could be right all along. Following Erwin would do nothing but make things harder.

“So, for the last part of our welcoming party…” 

He needs to know how aware you are of his occasional glances at your table.

“We present our new people to the faculty!

He needs to know your desperation to return the glances he’s been giving you since this damn party started. 

“First off, our exchange students and researchers!”

You think of going home but are unsure if the ‘home’ in question is your new unit in this country, or perhaps—much to Erwin's relief—your homeland.

“One of them still hadn’t adjusted to the new country air, I see!” 

Chortles fill the bar, only then do you realize that the host is talking about you. They’re calling for the newcomers to come up to the stage and introduce themselves. You're the only one who didn’t stand up, lost in the abyss of your repressed yearning. However, just as you’re about to apologize and indulge them, a newcomer whispers to the host.

“Oh! Uh-huh… I get that, I get that,” he nods, then turns to you. Mic on. “Adjusting might indeed take some time, so don’t you worry and just sit well!” 

You curl your eyebrows, unaware of the newcomer's name who whispered to him about your situation. How did he manage to explain it on your behalf when you two don't even know each other?

“Everyone here went through the same, after all! Isn’t that right, folks?" Then the crowd laughed along with him. The girl beside you pats your back in sympathy, then says something along the lines of, "We cried every night for the first three months. It’s okay! We’ll help you adjust.”

Just with that, the newcomers who came upstage were brought back to their seats.

How lovely, if one might say, but you couldn’t feel anything but confusion.

Not long after, the man who whispered walks to you. “Hi, Moblit here,” then reaches his hand, casual, poised, acting as though he's been a longtime friend. “And you are…?"

You certainly had never seen him before. Even way back in your country.

“Ah, apologies. I know you’re wondering what I said to the host who excused you from the newcomer spotlight. Is this seat taken?”

“Indeed, I am surprised,” you chuckle and nod at the spare chair beside you, “and nope, not taken at all. Come here. That’s the least I could do for you after saving my ass back there.”

Moblit chuckles, then out of courtesy, offers a glass before starting. “You were Mr. Smith’s former research assistant, right?”

You almost drop the glass he just filled. Luckily, Moblit’s a bit tipsy to notice your change in demeanor. “M-mr. Smith, you say?”

Moblit hums, “He told me a lot about you, even before you came here.”

So that was the answer. Plain and simple.

“How did you know him?” Your own question immediately drenched you in cold regret. You don't want to talk about him anymore, not when you're yearning so much. Perhaps Jane Austen was right; if one loved the other less than they did, then maybe they'd be able to talk about it more.

“Let’s just say I became your replacement.” Replacement? You almost roll your eyes. “Mr. Smith often tells me he never had a research assistant as capable as you are until he hired me.” Go fuck yourself! “I must admit, reaching the standards you had set for him was quite a challenge.” Because I wasn't supposed to be replaced in the first place!

Suddenly, you feel like you’re five years old again, experiencing the first time you’ve ever felt betrayed by someone outside your family. It feels so petty. Disgustingly petty.

“He’s not very talkative back then,” you trailed, trying to conceal the reeking insecurity by stating a thing you just realized; “I wonder what made him tell you details about me, let alone my tendency to get overwhelmed in crowded, noisy, and new places.”

As if you're competing with Moblit right now and you vehemently deny that you're really replaceable—that the one man you couldn't even get to forget would easily find someone else if he needs to.

“Well, I remember most of his stories because he narrates them entertainingly. You can say we have the same level of homesickness, too, so we instantly clicked despite our age differences."

You hold onto your glass harder, thinking of ways to divert the conversation, because now your mind is flooding you with repeated screams of, ‘Alas, you’re actually not that special! Get over it!’ that it makes you want to bang your head on the wall. You’ve never been this immature before. You, for the longest time, have practiced the cadence and poise of people beyond your age.

Or, perhaps, it was just your mind taking its silly little revenge for suppressing the feelings you thought were unfitting of your character—for fooling everyone including yourself.

"You see,” Moblit calls your name, “the majority of the fellows here, newcomers or not, had Mr. Smith as their mentor while on their master's degree. That's how prime he is."

You’re actually not that special. Get over it. You’re actually not that special. Get over it. You’re actually not that special. Get over it.

"Did Mr. Smith also tell you how he discovered my tendency to get overwhelmed in crowded places?"

"Sort of…? Earlier, he tapped me for a favor. He said you're the former assistant he always talks about. Then he asked me to accompany you amidst the noisy room. He didn't expound," he chuckles then, “it makes me feel special! Seems like I’m entrusted to a task only I could do.”

Years ago, when you went on a fact-finding mission with Erwin and had a night out with the community members, no one but him sensed your tense demeanor. He excused both of you from the crew under the guise of getting some stuff from the van. Only then did he bring you to a much quieter place, place an ice-cold can of coffee on your cheeks, and instruct you to breathe.

The memory intensified the yearning. What if you just pretend nobody else is in the party-riddled room but you and him? In a circumstance where you could run and touch him in a way you'd like to, and no hint of bother would be plastered on his features? 

Your glance, after painstaking hours of holding it in, finally lands at Erwin this time around. And much to your surprise, he's actually staring at you just the same. He averts it quickly as if caught busted, then chugs down his glass before indulging in the professor beside him.

You chugged down your glass too, not minding the immediate woozy feeling it brought. Perhaps the alcohol would lessen the petty, petty yearning.

But in reality, this ‘petty, petty yearning’ you perceived was induced by your repressed childishness increased when you thought of things you could do to cope. This feeling has been making you lethargic since you came here (and worsened, in fact, after that confrontational night with Erwin). And thus, you ask yourself: if I were to sleep with someone, would my exhaustion be quenched?

You continue your conversation with Moblit while pondering so; this time the pressure in your nerves eased quite a bit. Moblit seems to be interested in you—you're not naive to think otherwise—and if that feeling would be of service to you, then you might as well grab it.

As childish as it sounds (and as much as you hate it, too), people of Erwin's age could also do it without being ridiculed, right? That's how Erwin did, after all. With his ex-wife, he did.

You bite your lip, suddenly on the edge again.

“Moblit,” you languidly place your hand on his shoulder, willing to shoot your shot. “Don't you think we should take it someplace—”

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice interrupts you two. Your inebriated mind suddenly sobers up. “They were asking if you guys would like to join the seniors in their car. They're willing to drive you home.”

“Mr. Smith!” Moblit perks up, albeit his posture is slurry. “T-the party's done, eh? Hehe, I got too caught up talking, it seems.”

“Thank you for accompanying her nicely, Moblit.”

“My pleasure,” Moblit, much to your surprise, looks at you quite endearingly. Your flustered face brought his shyness back, though. With a weaker voice, he asks, “So… would you like to…”

“Keep contact?” you smile. “We will! We'll be seeing each other more often at the faculty, after all.”

“O-oh, yes, of course.” Moblit shrinks further. “I meant… uh…”

Of course, you know what he means. It's just that you realized how Moblit, this seemingly pure-hearted boy, deserves to be treated better than being a temporary coping mechanism—something you just realized after having Erwin's presence near you again.

If someone's going to be hurt by you tonight, it should be Erwin alone.

You don't think he completely understands what he has done to you, but he would, surely so, the moment you're done with him.

Or so your drunk self claims.

As if brought by instinct, Erwin's presence finally let you drop your guard, letting the tipsiness take over. You slouch your dizzy head down the table, not bothering to bid Moblit goodbye anymore. It doesn't take long for them to construe that you've finally lost it.

“I'm taking her home,” Erwin offers.

“O-oh, okay then. Good night, Mr. Smith.”

Only the two of you are left now. What a waste, this is the only moment your wish came true, and yet you're already too inebriated to comprehend what's happening.

Erwin gently taps your shoulder and softly nudges it, “Come on. You have to go home.”

“Mhm.”

An immovable heap, that's what you are. Erwin shakes his head in dismay, “You should've been more mindful of your drinking. You're not someplace near home.”

“Should've been more mindful, too…” you hiccup. 

“Come again?”

“Should've been more mindful of confessing that badly to me.”

Oh dear. So you're finally talking about that. “I asked if you wanted to know how I feel, and you said yes.”

“You're a fucking bastard.”

A moment of silence before he finally admits, “Indeed, I am.”

“You'd rather die than try it out with me?” you scoff. “If I'm that unappealing to you, then you should've just—”

“You know that is not what I mean at all,” he sternly interjects. Much to your surprise, Erwin seems to be less tolerant of anyone talking down to you, including yourself if need be.

However, your inebriety has much greater concerns.

“Then what! What do you mean then?!”

One of them includes a scream as loud as that.

The crew looking at Erwin was enough of a signal; get that drunk lass out of here.

“Come on, let's get you air outside—”

“Is it because I'm a child in your eyes?! But I'm not!” your wailing proved otherwise, though. You sobbed so loud one might think Erwin just slapped you. “I've tried too hard to act beyond my age, just so you would see me beyond that! I'm willing to do more, even! And you'd ‘rather die’?! I can't even—” you huff a sob (embarrassingly so, but admittedly a needed one as well). The next words that come out of your mouth are beyond comprehension. 

How thankful the staff were when Erwin grabbed you by the waist and carried you like a sack of rice out of the venue.

Your shouts were short-lived when Erwin gently hoisted you down to the ground. At least you're quite far from the bar now. “Goodness, you've never been this drunk before,” he laments.

“That was the worst rejection I've ever received in my life.”

“It's okay, you're young and—”

“Another of that and I'll slap you!” you exclaim, silencing everyone on the road for a solid ten seconds, it is until Erwin starts laughing, boisterously so.

That laugh was so genuine and divine that it almost sobered you up.

The word is almost.

“What's funny?!”

Erwin is still wiping the tears from his eyes due to too much laughing when he replies, “Nothing. Sorry.” Only when he saw you puffed and about to cry did he finally retract, “Really. Nothing's funny. Don't mind me.”

You don't remember much of what happened afterward aside from walking, talking while walking, zigzag walking, holding his arm while walking, and throwing up on the sidewalk before walking again.

Slowly but surely, the tons of walking has been slowly sobering you up—just enough to comprehend the things you are saying to him again.

You talk about your desire to own things that you never had and how you wanted to walk on paths you had never crossed since childhood. You tell Erwin that had you pursued a degree in hard sciences, you'd wonder what it's like to push an art-related career instead. If you did otherwise, you’d wonder how good life would've been had your decision been different. 

Erwin replies that he knows it—all of it. 

“How? You have not been with me since childhood.”

“Only I would know more than anyone else here. Surely so.”

“I'm asking you why!”

“Because of all the tasks I had taken all my life—” A moment of silence before he continued, as hesitance etched quite loudly in his features. But you resolutely glare at him. And honestly, he's exhausted. You've made him, of all people, spent and exhausted just in a span of a night. “Out of all the tasks I had taken in my life, watching you shine was my most favorite.”

You stop in your tracks, befuddled. Suddenly the cold night is warm. And suddenly the alcohol isn't enough to spike your bravado.

"I know that despite shifting your playlist a generation behind, you still have a relatively newer song on repeat."

And just this usual, usual occurrence of you and Erwin not needing to expound because you already know each other too much for such pleasantries. You know the song he talks about too well. Thus, before you could blatantly gush at his very observant and poignant take, your drunk self immediately starts humming.

"I don't want your pity, concern or your scorn," you start with a humming glare, Erwin chuckles. "I'm calm by my lonesome, I feel right at home!" 

"Indeed you are."

"And when the wind blows, I get to dancing," then you sway your body into the cold night air. You almost stumble to the ground, but Erwin catches you just in time. You don't know if it was just your illusion, but he seems to be smiling and laughing a lot tonight.

If you're not for the alcohol, you'd already be utterly flustered. But you are, in fact, drunk beyond repair, even to the point of starting to sing right after he blurted out such a confession—"My fun is the rhythm of air, when it's prancing! I play with the moon, my only friend!"—and to continue singing even after he's hovering above you, holding your waist so you wouldn't stumble down the ground. "It pushes, it pulls me, I don't pay rent! Fuck! The rent here is so fucking expensive!"

He hums, then brings your body back to its usual standing position, quickly so, as if he owed his whole life to do that instead of doing something he'll regret. "It's much cheaper in our homeland. Told you."

"Fuck you!"

Erwin laughs again.

"No convincing tonight. God, why don't you let me rest from this shitty talk? This night's goal is to make the newcomers happy! To make me happy! And now you're ruining it!"

"Sorry, dear madam. Won't happen again."

Erwin holds onto both of your shoulders to guide you down the pavement, a tinge of grip present to prevent you from zigzagging again.

You nod, then hum the song: “I don't need your company to feel saved. I don't need the sunlight, my curtains don't draw. I don't need objects, to keep or to pawn. I don't want your pity, concern, or your scorn. I'm calm by my lonesome, I feel right at home. You repeat this interlude again and again, as if every line is a dialogue in itself, something to be said to the man guiding you down the pavement. You repeat it again and again until Erwin does the humming alongside your imploring croons.

"I can see now why you couldn't let go of that song despite your preference in generation."

"You see it now?"

He hums.

"Really?"

He nods again, then looks you in the eye. It's not as bright as earlier. If anything, there's a tinge of poignancy present in his hues.

"Then why are you still looking at me in pity?"

The sudden question surprised him. "I'm not…?"

"You are. You still think it's such a pity that I like someone like you, that I'm wasting my youthfulness in this shitshow."

Erwin stops.

“I like you, Erwin. I think I'll hold onto this feeling for the rest of my life.”

This time, you don't sound that drunk anymore. The only indicator Erwin could have was your fluttering eyes—one he couldn't stare at for too long due to the suddenness of your statement.

“I think I'll hold onto this feeling, but it's okay. I will be responsible for my feelings—” and you walk to him until you're inches apart. You point to his heart. Three times. “—the same way you'll be responsible for yours.”

And for the first time in his life, Erwin is too lost for words. He couldn't even pretend he still had the upper hand right this very moment.

“You love me and I love you. I want to be with you, but you don't want to be with me. But it's good. It's okay. It's alright! In fact, I'm glad we were able to clear things up!”

Your face is saying otherwise.

“And—I mean it when I say this so please—you must let go of your messianic complex and let me take charge of my own feelings as I should. Worry about yours. I don't care however you would. Your feelings only start being my business once you want to be with me. Understood?”

Erwin calls your name, seemingly wanting to negate your proposition. 

“Say you understand!”

But Erwin must know it by now, this tone of voice of yours isn't something you use when you want counterarguments. He could only smile and nod, “I understand.”

“Good,” you turn your back and start walking again, albeit swaying. “See you around, Erwin.”

Erwin knows you're not far from here, but he's also aware you're not capable of bringing yourself home without the possibility of falling into a manhole.

Moreover, there is a problem on his end…

“Then, may I—” he tries to stop himself, only to no avail. “Right now, I feel like doing something that would act upon my feelings but I'm worried it'll rattle you further.”

There.

There it goes.

“All this time, you’ve been acting upon your feelings for me without asking me—all for the sake of not rattling me. However, most of the time it just ends up frustrating me in every way possible.”

“Oh,” Erwin is only starting to see it now. “I apologize.”

“I'm not asking for apologies,” you flatly respond. When you turn to him again, your face looks like you've sobered up all at once. “What do you want to do, Erwin?”

“I want to usher you inside, have you drink something that’d lessen tomorrow's hangover, tuck you to your bed nicely, and ensure you're asleep before I leave.”

“That's all?”

“And more,” he chuckles defeatedly. Perhaps the fact that you're drunk is also giving him the needed bravado to be blunt. “But if I were to list the things I'm most desperate to do right now, I think what I said is enough.”

“Don't you think it would've helped us both if you started doing this years ago?” And now, Erwin could say your cries are genuinely in your character this time around, unlike your wailing earlier at the bar. “God, you're very unbearable. All this effort to be mature enough only for you to handle your feelings like a cowardly dick.” However, your language is still steered by the drinks you've had.

“Loving you made me fear a lot of things I never thought I'd fear before.”

“Have you ever feared hurting me, Erwin?”

“Still do. Always would.”

“And yet that's all you've ever done. Keep being ruled by fear and all you're gonna do is hurt me until the day I die.” When you turned your back to him again, he knew you could finally bring yourself home without his help. “Good night, Mr. Smith.”

<<< PREV CHAPTER

can't believe i took ALMOST two years before publishing the needed continuation when I've been wanting to write it so bad. my god. My God.

happy with how it turned out tho. sorry guys my erwin needs to be The Pathetic Old Man for a bit for the drama. he will reclaim his future in the epilogue (aka next chapter) :)

JOIN or LEAVE THE TAG LIST☆ @watyousayin @collinnmckinley (I LOVE YOU TY FOR WAITING) @aeanya @xiaotopia @cadenza-damour @grimistheangerinmystares @suntizme @rinamars @inkofteyvat @onasvigo @s0m4-sh4rk @xeiin-n @chxrry-writes

[takarahase99]

Lavender Tea Storms

I rushed into the nearest, open, door as the rain started coming down quicker.

“Sorry but we’re closed.”

A monotone voice rang through my ears. I looked around the place, which I took notice of being a tea cafe, and found the owner of the voice. It was a short statured man, whose back was turned to me, and he looked to be cleaning. I noticed that there were not any other people inside the place aside from him and I.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I’m only trying to find some shelter until the rain dies down and you happen to be the nearest, unlocked door.”

The man turned towards me after my reply and I was able to recognize him immediately. He has been a regular at my book shop for awhile now. I think, to be exact, a year now. He showed up one day and has been coming every weekend. He would come in pick a book and leave once he finished reading it. I was always curious about him; Just never brought myself to introduce myself to him. I found joy out of just admiring him from afar. From the look in his eyes I could tell that he recognizes who I am. 

“Well in that case, is there anything I can make for you? On the house.”

“Oh no I’m okay. I’d hate to make you dirty up what you just cleaned.”

“I insist.”

His stare was almost too intimidating. Taking a short breath I gave into his persistence and spoke.

“Early Grey with lavender please.”

His cold stare lightened up and a soft smile, almost missable, was placed on his face. 

“You’ve good taste.”

“It has been my favorite for as long as I can remember. It’s such a relaxing brew. Can never go wrong with it I say.”

I moved from in front of the door, over to a table closer to the counter. The cafe fell silent after my statement. I pulled my, nearly, soaked jacket off and carefully placed it over the back of the chair next to me. Hopefully it can dry some before I have to leave.

“Do you own or just work at the book shop?”

“I own it.”

“For how long?”

“Since the previous owner died. It was actually given to me by him.”

“So you knew him?”

“He was my brother. Did you?”

Silence. I watched as his body tensed and untensed as if he was having a mental battle. He knew Erwin and by the looks of it they were close. Then it hit me.

“You’re Levi aren’t you?”

He continued to stay silent. 

“You don’t have to reply.”

I reached inside my bag for the letter Erwin left for Levi. It was stated in his final will for, strictly, me to give it to him. As I was about to push myself from my chair a nice steaming cup of tea was placed in front of me. It smells absolutely beautiful. Before he walked away I held the letter out to him. 

“Erwin left this for you. He stressed it in his will that I was to give this to you the moment our paths crossed on their own.”

He stared at the envelope for a moment before taking it and retreating back behind the counter. I watched as he turned his back from me. An action I recognized quickly. He wanted to hide his emotions. As he read the letter I turned my focus back on the tea. While we were talking I noticed how delicately he prepared the cup of tea. I could see how passionate he was about making tea. I picked the small cup up and gently blew on the hot beverage before taking a sip.

“I don’t think I've ever made this same tea this good.”

I glanced over towards the silent male. His breathing was slightly labored. He was either holding back his tears or silently crying hoping I wouldn’t hear. I turned to the window and noticed that the rain cleared up. Using that as an excuse I rose from my seat and gathered my things. I walked over and placed the now empty tea cup and saucer on the counter behind Levi.

“The rain has cleared. I appreciate your great hospitality. It was a pleasure to meet you Levi. I heard nothing but great things about you from my brother. I hope to continue seeing you at the shop. You’ll be seeing me here more often; You make the perfect lavender earl grey tea I’ve ever had.”

With that said I made my exit and started my walk home. ‘Oh you knew what you were doing the moment you started telling me about Levi didn’t you Erwin?’

[letbludcook]

WARNING: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT

OH the urge to write erwin who treats vibrators as his ally in pleasing you towards oblivion. he'll use all the toys you bought (as well as the ones he gifted you) only to plunge his cock at the end of it to earn his reward: have you squeeze him in your warmth, milk you dry, and spurt his release inside.

"Fuck you," you panted after he made you cum for god knows how much.

"Oh, of course," you felt him slide his cock in your wetness. He's hard, again. "You're doing do well on that."

[watyousayin]

The Other Woman - Erwin Smith

Hi everyone! I don't know if this will become a series or stay as a standalone/one-shot... My first piece of original work and oh my gosh it took me forever! 😅 But let me know what you guys think 😊 Feedback is always welcome!

Sara 💙x

Minors DNI!

TW/CW: Jealous Erwin, angst, hurt, no comfort, physical violence (a small fight between Erwin and Levi, few punches are thrown), mentions of blood (bloody nose and lip from the fight), no sex/smut, implied female reader (reader gets called mama by her son). Let me know if I missed anything!

Erwin and you married out of convenience, mainly for the sake of his son, after his wife left him for another man. You barely have a relationship outside of your marriage certificate. You were able to become a mother to Erwin's son, but never a wife for Erwin. You tried your hardest initially, your efforts starting to fizzle and this doesn't go unnoticed.

Icy blue eyes watch you through the opened glass doors into the kitchen. You’re standing over the stove set in the kitchen island facing the garden, with a dark haired and usually stoic man. He watches the two of you standing close to one another, looking into the pot you had on the stove while you add ingredients. The owner of the blue eyes clenches his fists watching his friend step a little closer to you pointing towards the pot. Too close for his liking. The man pulls back slightly, using his hand to lean on the counter by the stove, nodding at whatever you’re telling him. You turn to him with a warm smile which reaches your eyes. This irks the former man. It pisses him off even more watching his friend laugh back at something you say. He grits his teeth watching you both laugh with one another. 

“Ain’t that right Erwin. Erwin?” Erwin doesn’t hear the calls from his friend beside him. His mind is too focused on the scene in front of him. 

"Hey man!" The blond feels a sharp sting on his upper left up, now directing his growing rage elsewhere.

"What the fuck Miche!" He yells, turning to the culprit.

"Hey! Language!" Miche yells back. "There are kids present, asshole", gesturing with his head to their children running around in front of them.

Erwin just rolls his eyes and looks straight ahead again. He sips his drink, watching you both over the rim of his plastic cup. Miche catches the look on Erwin's face and follows his gaze. 

Levi helps you take down some teacups and saucers. You both chatter and laugh as you pour the tea you've been brewing on the stove. Miche glances back at his friend and smirks when he sees his bushy brows furrowed. He turns to his other side nudging Hange, who was tending to her babbling baby. She follows the dirty blond's pointed thumb and the both begin to quietly chuckle. Miche gives Hange a knowing look while wiggling his eyebrows and grinning like the Cheshire cat. They both try to stifle their laughter, as if they're a bunch of teens and not middle aged adults.

"Aahhh, would you look at that Hange", Miche says dramatically gesturing towards the open kitchen on the opposite side of the garden.

"I don't think I've ever seen Levi crack a smile, let alone laugh like that. Isn't that nice Erwin?".

When the fuck did you learn to laugh Ackerman? And what is that funny? It's just tea? Erwin just continues to internally question the scene, the cup in his hand starting to fold and crush in his grip. 

"Y/N seems to have broken past his boring walls and cold exterior." Erwin scoffs lightly. Miche continues to playfully provoke his friend, Hange watching smiling, slightly shaking her head. 

"And how can she not? She's great! She's amazing and just so full of life. And not to mention beautiful", Miche exaggerates, not that he didn't agree or believe his own statements. From the very beginning, you created a great impression on Erwin's friends and colleagues. They admire you for who you are and what you do. “You, my friend, are a lucky man. Hange, why didn’t we get a tea party invite in the kitchen?” Miche knowingly continued to wind up his friend. 

“Miche, can you just shut the fuck up”. 

“Language!”

“Language!” Hange and Miche yell at Erwin in unison. 

“Listen Smith, right now, I’m not your subordinate. I am your friend enjoying your nice little garden party, pool party, whatever this nice thing is”, Miche says, using his cup to gesture towards the intimate group of family and friends surrounding the garden. He playfully smacks Erwins shoulder, causing the latter to swat his hand away.

“And what’s up your ass anyway? Just relax.” Miche relaxes himself back into the poolside lounge chair. 

“Focus on your own wife, not mine” Erwin spits back, getting more and more agitated. 

“Actually, Nanaba would agree. And, do I smell” Miche deeply inhales through his nose, waving air towards himself, “jealousy?”

Hange snorts as Erwin shoots a cold glare at Miche’s mischievous face, irritating him even more knowing he fell for his trap. He watches his annoying friend relax further in his chair, hands behind his head, eyes closed. 

“You reek of it friend”. Miche smiles cheekily, opening one eye to catch Erwin’s reaction who starts gritting his teeth.

“Miche, you fu--”

“Daddy!” a small 5 year old launches himself onto his father, thankfully interrupting his profanity. 

“Hey my sweet boy”, Erwin’s mood immediately lightens, placing his little boy on his lap.

“Daddy, can I have a new popsicle. Pleeaasse! I dropped mines.” he pouts.

“Sure bud.” He says smiling at his son, brushing his messy hair away from his eyes. 

Erwin glances at your direction. Levi and you are now sitting on the patio chairs just outside the kitchen. Levi shows you something on his phone and you lean in to see. Erwin feels his eye twitch. He shakes off the gnawing feeling and asks the little boy “Elysian, why don’t we go ask mama?”

“Yeah Elys, and ask your mom to get one for your dad too. I think he’s feeling a little hot”. 

Miche looks smug while Hange laughs at him, causing her baby to laugh at her. Elysian, not understanding what the adults were laughing about, giggles with them.

“You’re silly Uncle Miche!” Miche dramatically gasps as Erwin agrees, standing up with the boy.

The father and son cross the garden towards you. The closer they get, the clearer you get. Your soft hair. Your skin, glowing under the sun. Your delicate fingers raising your cup to your plush smiling lips, making the bangles and bracelets on your wrist tinkle. Your tongue peeks out slightly past your lips to lick off any remnants of your hot beverage. The tall man didn’t realise he had slowed his pace to just look at you longer, until his impatient son wriggled in his arms pleading him to hurry.

“I’m just saying, I don’t get why people keep calling chai ‘chai tea’. Chai is tea! You’re just saying tea twice!” you exclaim. Levi chuckles at your little outburst. 

“I agree with you,” he nods, “It sounds silly”

Erwin approaches the patio, subtly looking between you both. Your chatter falls, as does your laughter to a gentle smile. Your husband notices your face heat up slightly when you meet his eyes.

Oh, did I interrupt their little date? Erwin assumes.

“Mama” Elysian calls for you wiggling out of his fathers grip. 

“Yes my love?” you beam at your little boy, looking so angelic.

“Daddy says I can get a new popsicle because I dropped mine and he said I can get one but I have to ask you so mama please can I get a new one please!”

You laugh at his frantic plea for a new popsicle.

“Okay, okay. Slow down. And of course we can, baby.” You stand up taking his hand and turn back in towards the kitchen. 

“You two seem to get on like a house on fire.” Levi just rolls his eyes and carries on sipping his tea, while his friend moves to sit beside him. Levi can tell by the way Erwin spoke, he wasn't trying to be friendly.

“What? Did I interrupt your little tea date?” Erwin says with a bit more edge in his voice.

Levi turns around to make sure you’re far away enough, before turning back to Erwin frowning.

“What are you doing right now Erwin?” he asks in a low voice, frowning at his friend. Erwin just grimaces.

“You know what, man? Don’t even answer that. What? She can’t smile and enjoy a conversation?”. Erwin just scowls at the dark haired man.

“Have you ever sat down and had a proper conversation with her? Or made her smile even once? Answer that.”

“Levi, you’re fucking pushing it right now” he grits in response.

Levi pushes himself away from the deck table standing up.

“Whatever. I was just being nice, I think she deserves that. Not my fault you got pissy watching her be happy in the last 2 hours with someone other than yourself. More than what you've given her in the last 2 years with you.”

That does it. 

It happens so quickly. Erwin’s chair falls back with so much force as he stands up grabbing Levi’s collar with one hand, and landing a punch on his face with the other. He doesn’t hear the gasps from everyone as Levi shoves him back and lands a punch of his own. Moblit and Miche race across the garden to separate the two men, who were still trying to reach and grab for the other. You race out of the kitchen hearing the commotion with Elysian in your arms. You watch the two supposedly best friends try and lunge for each other. 

“Nanaba, please take Elysian. And can you and Hange take everyone inside.” Nanaba nods at your instructions. You quickly pass your son over while he worriedly asks what’s wrong with his dad and uncle Levi. 

“What the hell are you both doing!” Neither men answer you, as they push forward to each other while getting pulled back by their other friends. 

“Erwin! Stop it!” You rush up to Erwin, pushing against his chest. Both men halt immediately, not wanting you to get caught in the crossfire. He looks down at you, his chest heaving and his usually neat hair, now a mess. You look up at his reddened face, your eyes widen with concern seeing blood under one of his nostrils and corner of his mouth. You catch the placement of your hands on his chest and remove them as though they burned. You turn to Levi gasping out loud seeing his busted lip and newly bruised face. 

“Oh my god! Your face Levi.” You step a little closer to get a better look. Your concerned face turns to anger looking between the two men, hands on your hips.

“What is wrong with you two? Fighting like some kids in a playground!” You reprimand them as they sheepishly look anywhere but at you. You let out a frustrated sigh picking up the fallen chairs. 

“You, sit.” You firmly push Levi down onto one of the seats by his shoulder. He doesn’t resist as you gently lift his face to inspect the damage. Erwin feels himself burn up again watching you tend to his so called best friend first. You hiss slightly at the sight before instructing Miche to get the abandoned popsicle on the kitchen counter and the first aid kit. 

“Miche can you take care of this one here please”.

“Yes ma’am”, he responds, placing the popsicle on Levi’s sulking face.

“Gently!”

You turn to Erwin with a stern look. 

“And you, with me. Now.” 

Erwin just stares at you with a blank expression. Have you always looked like this? He subtly scans your face, eyes stopping on your moving lips. Not hearing a word you’re saying, the tall man feels anger burn to desire. 

“Oh for God sake”. You grab Erwin by the wrist and drag him through the house past your friends. Erwin follows behind you like a big child as you lead him upstairs to the bedroom away from prying eyes. Once you’re both in, you push him gently to sit on the edge of the bed. You walk to the connected bathroom to get the first aid supplies. His eyes never once leave you. He watches you from the bed as you move about the bathroom grabbing what you need. 

Coming back into the room, you take a seat beside Erwin. You start to lift a damp cloth to clean his face but Erwin grasps your wrist.

“Y/N, I-” he starts.

“Erwin, can you just shut up for once and let me do this!” you interrupt him leaving him stunned at your outburst. You’ve never raised your voice at him before, not even Elysian. You always speak so gently, even when he’s wrong and raising his own voice. He releases his grip and lets you clean his face. You gently wipe away the blood from his nose and mouth. Erwin lets out a hiss when you apply the antiseptic, grabbing your hand again. 

He lets go as you both awkwardly say sorry to one another. You clear your throat standing up to clean up the mess. 

“What the hell even was that down there? Why were you guys at each other's throats like that? In front of everybody! The kids, your friends and colleagues.”

Erwin looks away, frowning, not knowing how to tell you the reason for getting in a fist fight with his friend. 

“He was talking shit. So I…” He explains quietly, still avoiding eye contact like a child getting in trouble. He definitely isn’t used to being like this. He’s usually the one giving the lectures and orders.

“Sorry? He what?” you question not hearing, or believing, what came out of your husband's mouth.

Erwin huffs before repeating himself. “He was talking shit, so I hit him.”

You stare in disbelief as Erwin waits for you to respond.

“Levi? Levi, was talking shit? What exactly did he say for you to hit him?”

“What? You think Levi can’t talk crap?” Erwin retorted.

“I’m not saying that he can’t. It’s just not like him to talk nonsense that bad, for someone to want to hit him.” You calmly respond.

“You’re really defending him? The little prick started it. And he got a good hit on me too” Erwin feels himself getting riled up again. You sigh, taking the first aid materials back to the bathroom, not wanting to get into a baseless argument.

“I think you should just stay up here for a while and come down a little later. I’ll go check on Levi and the others. Make sure he's okay”. You start to walk past Erwin to leave, when he grabs your arm pulling you back. You gasp in surprise as your back hits the wardrobe, you look up at Erwin’s handsome face. He looks down at you, scanning your face, inching closer. His eyes stop at your lips.

“Y/N, your husband is here, hurt, and you’re thinking of tending to another man?” His voice is low, you feel it rumble through your hand that rests on his chest. You shiver ever so slightly. The corner of his mouth raises slightly, catching your small response. 

“Erwin, I...I…”

“You what Y/N?”. His voice gets lower as his hand that grabbed your arm slowly feathers higher, leaving a trail of goosebumps. 

“Erwin”, you breathe out.

"Hmm?" He hums, his trailing hand now gently under your chin. He rests his other arm on the wardrobe beside your head, using it to lean further into you. The tips of your noses touching. He looks down at you, softly holding your jaw, thumb ghosting over your lower lip. That gentle touch sends a shock through your body. Your eyes flutter shut. Your chest heaving. Erwin can feel his pants tighten seeing your body responding to him.

Erwin leans in, kissing your temple. Then your cheekbone, down to your cheek and then the corner of your mouth. His lips brush over yours. Taking a deep breath in, you inhale the antiseptic that you applied not too long ago on Erwin's face, waking you up.

"No!", you push the boulder of a man away, who just stares at you with a mixture of emotion swimming through his eyes. You look away from him but he continues to stare. Pushing away from the wardrobe, you fix your appearance in front of the mirror on one of its doors. You move to leave again. Once more you're stopped by your husband, who pushes you to your previous position. He doesn't look at you with the same gentleness as before, but more frustration. 

"Let me go", you struggle against his arms that hold you in place. You try pushing him, but he's built like a wall. 

"No"

"Excuse me? I said let me go".

"Why won't you kiss me?" 

"Because I don't want to", you answer, still trying to push him away.

He watches you intently for a moment before speaking.

"Is it because of him?", he asks, his jaw tensing.

You stop your struggle, looking up at him. 

"What?" You look up confused and annoyed. 

"Is. It. Him?", he grits.

"Is 'what' because of 'who'?"

Erwin steps back letting go.

"Ackerman. You won't let me near you because of him. You both seem to get along so well. You both seemed so cosy earlier."

You stare at your husband, angry and stunned at his theory. You can't help but scoff at his words and let out a bitter, sarcastic laugh. 

"Is that what you think? You think I won't let you near me because of Levi? Another man?"

The blond man looks away, still angry. His pride not allowing the bubbling shame and guilt to show. 

"And you don't think it has anything to do with you, Mr Smith?" 

Erwin's face and heart drop at the way you address him. He turns to your angry face. You’ve never been this upset. You hadn't addressed him this way in a while. You started calling him by his first name again only a few months ago, when things started getting better between you both. He realises at this moment how much he hates hearing you call him that way. He hates how angry you are at him. You step closer to him, an accusing finger poking his chest. 

"You don't get to do that. You don't get to choose when you want to use me and when you want to throw me to the side."

"Y/N, it's not like that". He tries to reach for you and you yank your hand back. 

“Oh it isn’t? Whenever you’re pissed off with someone or something, frustrated or whatever, you come to me. You come to me, fuck me and toss me away.” Erwin winces at your words. Your physical relationship took a while to build, and it started and stopped at that; fucking. Nothing more, how he wants it. Or at least how he thought he wanted it. 

You continue, eyes starting to line with unshed tears. “And I, like the idiot I am, let you. I keep thinking you might just love me, even a little. But everytime we’re together, you’re not with me. You fuck me and think about her. And you’re here accusing me of trying to get with another man, and your best friend at that!” Erwin feels like someone’s clawing at his chest. He looks at your deflated form. He so badly wants to reach out and hold you and tell you this isn’t true. Not anymore. 

“I know I’m not her Mr Smith. And I’ll never be her. But I love you and Elysian so much. I knew this was going to be hard. I knew what I was getting myself into. But I didn’t think it’d be like this.” You wipe away your tears with the back of your hands. 

“And I know I’m a good wife and mother. So why am I not enough?” You look into your husband's blue eyes hoping to get an answer.

“I do whatever I can for you both. Anything and everything to take care of my family. When Elysian first called me mama, I was so happy because he finally accepted me as a mother. His own mother left him, and it would break my heart to hear him cry out for her. Why can’t you accept me as a wife at least? Why do you hate me so much?” You drop onto the edge of the bed, silently crying into your hands. 

Fuck. Erwin looks at your broken form. I did this? I did this. He didn’t mean to push you so far away. Or this far to break you like this. He just wanted to keep a distance, enough to not hurt you both. This whole thing was out of convenience, mainly for Elysian. And he certainly doesn’t hate you, he never did. He didn’t love you either. He thought he couldn’t, until recently. How can you believe him now?

"There will always be another woman in this relationship. If you'd even call it one. And it feels like I'm the other woman". 

Erwin crouches in front of you, gently moving your hands from your face. 

"Look at me, please". Your red eyes meet his. 

He thinks about how many nights you might have spent like this, crying and hurting over him. You aren't wrong. You're an amazing mother to his son, and an amazing wife. From the moment you walked into their lives, you did your utmost best to help the father and son after his ex wife left them for another life and man. Erwin wants to tell you all of this. He wants to tell you he does appreciate you. He doesn't hate you, and somewhere in between he has started to fall for you. 

He opens his mouth, but is interrupted by the doorbell ringing downstairs. You briskly get up, straightening your clothes and wiping your face making sure to look like the perfect hostess again. You leave the room, making your way downstairs with Erwin slowly trailing behind you. 

It seems like Miche had already answered the door, which was still hiding the unexpected guest. He turns his head towards you coming down the last few steps. His face no longer holds the playfulness from earlier, eyebrows slightly knitted together. He looks back at Erwin, who's slowed to a stop in the middle of the staircase. Erwin senses his friend's uneasiness. The unexpected guest is probably also unwanted. He quickly makes his way towards you. You thank Miche for answering the door who gives you a slight nod. His eyes meet Erwin’s briefly before he heads into the living room. You reach to open the door fully but Erwin beats you to it. He swings the door open, putting himself between you and the threat.

"Erwin", you hear the sickly sweet voice call your husband. You walk from behind Erwin to stand beside him. Your eyes lock with the supposed threat.

"Marie?" Erwin says in surprise. 

Marie looks at you with a small smirk. 

"Y/N. I'm sorry for being late. I must have misplaced the invite. Luckily Nile heard about it to remind me", she smiles, the smile not reaching her eyes.

You look at the other woman, not knowing what to say or how to respond. Here she was. The constant reminder that you were truly the other woman. Here she is in the flesh. 

"Now if you don't mind, I'd like to see my son". She takes a step forward, as does Erwin. Your heart starts to race and you feel your palms starting to sweat. You slowly and awkwardly step back and away from them. You feel like you’re being pushed out of their bubble. Staring at the back of your husband's head, you know you’ll never be able to get in. You’ll never be her. You’ll never have his heart.

"Marie" he says her name again. You're not able to tell what he's feeling. And you're too scared to look at his face to find out.

Taglist: @antoxsmith

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 4: February

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse (to be continued as writing is ongoing)

☾ Author's note ➼ Hey guys! Happy (early) Valentine's Day! This would have been out much earlier but I figured since it's February, I would actually release it near the holiday the chapter is actually about. I'm so excited to finally release this into the wild! I'm in the process of working on March but I might take a break to work on some fluffy drabbles/one-shots because tis the season! I'll be back soon with more!

☾ Word Count ➼ ~8.5k (this one is even longer and I'm not even sorry about it)

Your bedroom floor is littered with piles of the clothes you spent the last hour trying on then discarding out of dissatisfaction. You and Hange were expecting company soon and you were standing in just your undergarments while staring into your almost empty closet in disdain. It felt as if you were 17 again, freaking out the morning before a school day because you were not comfortable with any of the fabrics in your wardrobe. You throw your hands up in the air and exhale loudly, thinking to yourself of how hopeless this endeavor was.

With people coming over, you wanted to try and dress up a bit. But in frustration, you opt for your usual wear of jeans and a baggy pullover sweater. Pulling your hair up in two little buns, you just grunt in acceptance. At least you were comfortable, which is the most important factor here. After slipping on a mismatched pair of socks, you pad back into the living room where Hange sat on the floor milling around on her work laptop.

‘Working again?’ You sign at them while passing them to the kitchen. You open a cupboard for a can of black tea. You were told Levi was coming over for the get together and you wanted to make sure there was tea ready. For everyone, of course, not just Levi. Or so you keep telling yourself.

“Just finishing up a couple documents is all. Did you make sure that we had the ingredients for the cookies today?” They mumble from behind the screen, their fingers zooming over the keyboard as they speak. Their eyes flick up at you as you sign a quick yes and they nod in response, shoving their face back into their reports.

You make quick work of the electric tea kettle, pushing the button to get the water boiling before tossing in a couple teaspoons of loose leaves in your favorite teapot. It was a gift from your foster-parents many years ago and it had golden bunnies hopping around on a light teal background. After the kettle shuts itself off, you pour the water into the teapot to steep then place the lid on top gently.

You then set forth to make sure your wipe-off board had fully stocked markers for tonight, placing them on the kitchen bar for you to reach easily. Texting might be faster, but a wipe-off board served better with a crowd of people so everyone could see what you were saying. When you’re satisfied with everything, you then turn to Hange.

It was past two in the afternoon, and they were still in their pajamas with a rat’s nest in place of their hair. Company was due soon and she was still tapping away, so you go up behind them and place your hands on their shoulders gently. She hums in response, not turning to you. You lean forward and place a hand on the laptop, and she stops. They cock their head up to look at you and their glasses glint off the afternoon sun coming through the dining room window. You furrow your brows at them and scrunch your nose.

“Can I help you?” She asks. Nodding, you release your hands to sign to her.

‘You need a shower.’ She purses her lips and averts her gaze.

“I have time, let me just finish this report first.”

‘No, shower first and then come back to this.’

“But-” You cut them off by pinching her cheek, not hard enough to bruise but enough to leave a mark.

‘Don’t make me throw you in the bath, you know I’ll do it.’ You smirk while raising an eyebrow at them. You’re met with an eyeroll, but she saves her work before shutting her laptop anyways. You kiss her forehead from above and then move back so they can stand up.

‘Thanks, don’t forget to wash your ass.’ You laugh silently and she just gives you a disgusted look before heading into her room, laptop under her arm. She flips you a bird before disappearing behind her door. You grin at yourself and then head back to the kitchen to set out some butter to soften.

For Valentine’s Day this year, Hange decided to throw a little party at your shared apartment. You just wanted to bake and watch stupid movies together, but they talked you into socializing. She had said something about today not being just for couples. She wanted to “celebrate singleness”, her words not yours. So of course, you were roped in because honestly, where else would you have to be? But that also meant she had invited quite a few people as well; a few coworkers and Erwin. And with Erwin, the invitation had spread to Miche and Levi. The latter of which you were excited for, no matter how much you told yourself it wasn’t such a big deal.

You smile at how close you and Levi had gotten in the past couple weeks, getting to know each other a little more as the days passed. It mainly consisted of texting each other little things you thought you’d both like or little hangouts at the café after hours. The café meetings were not anything new, of course, but they had a vastly different atmosphere than before. You chalk it up to the friendlier nature and usage of more words around each other.

You preoccupy yourself by pulling out the rest of the necessary ingredients and dishes needed for your baking adventure. One of the compromises Hange had made with you was the allowance of being able to still make your checkerboard cookies regardless of the plans. It was something you had picked up in the last couple years and it quickly became one of your favorite traditions. Hange did not refuse, which you think is mainly because she loved your baked goods and was looking forward to shoving them in her mouth. With that thought, you pull out another stick of butter to make a double batch just in case.

After a while, you place your hands on your hips and nod your head in satisfaction. Your ears pick up the sound of squeaking floorboards coming from Hange’s bedroom which signaled that she had finished bathing. Another noise comes from the front door with someone rapping on the hardwood. When you glance at the clock on the stove, it reads 2:47. Someone was a little early, you think to yourself as you saunter up to the door.

Pulling it open, you’re met with a smiling Erwin holding a small bundle of flowers and a bottle of wine. Miche flanks him with a box of canned beer under one arm, his other out to give you a hug which you run into instantly, making sure to do the same with Erwin. In the last month since their dinner party, it wasn’t just Levi you had gotten close to.

While you were already pretty comfortable with Erwin through your sister, Miche was a confidant you hadn’t expected to have. Throughout the passing days, you found that he was as technologically competent as he was as good of a chef. When he wasn’t behind a computer screen, he was often found sending you obscure recipes through late night text messages that he wanted to try with you.

‘I’m so glad you two could make it!’ You sign to them ecstatically, breaking out into a grin.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Erwin chirps as he winks down at you.

Taking a step back, you lead them through the door with your hand. You peep a quick glance behind them to make sure there was no one else coming. To your disappointment, there wasn’t. You shut the door behind the two men with a sigh. Hange must have talked to them beforehand about the apartment rules because they were quick to pull their shoes off at the door before walking more into the apartment.

You follow them into the living room as you check your phone. No new messages. You had sent Levi a text earlier this morning to see if he was planning to make it, but he had not responded. So, when Erwin places the flowers and wine down on the kitchen counter, you step up next to him to get his attention.

‘Thank you so much for bringing these.’ You hesitate for a moment as he looks down at you patiently. ‘Is Levi still coming?’ You stare up into his bright eyes, his lips twitching in amusement at your question.

“Yes, he is just running a little behind. He had a stop to make before making his way here.” He pats your head and you just blush. But you feel immensely better, knowing that Levi was coming for certain. To not waste the tea you’ve made, of course, you remind yourself. You grab the bouquet of flowers and take a big whiff of them, relishing the sweet scent.

Bending down into a counter beneath you, you grab a vase and get to work trimming the stems so you can place it on the dinner table. Miche is quick to place a couple of his beers in the fridge along with the wine Erwin brought so they would be cold for later.

‘What kind of beer did you bring?’ You sign towards Miche, Erwin translating for you.

“Oh, definitely not something you would like, even if you did drink. I saw it at the store and had to try it though. There’s peanut butter in it apparently.” Miche tilts his head towards the fridge. You make a grimace at him, and he chuckles.

“Hange had said to BYOB but I can’t imagine just having beer would be great, so I elected for something sweeter.” Erwin furrows his eyebrows at the very idea.

‘You do know BYOB doesn’t just mean beer, right? It’s just a figure of speech.’

“Wait, really?”

Just then, Hange comes out sporting a towel wrapped on their head as well as a t-shirt and jeans. They chose to go for the comfortable yet casual look too. She grins widely at the new company and runs to give them both a big hug as well.

“You guys made it!” She shrieks.

“We told you we would.” Erwin’s deep timbre responds back nonchalantly.

“Yeah yeah, but I still worried I ran you off with how much I talked about it. We’re going to have so much fun today!” Hange starts chattering away about the plans she had made for everyone. You giggle to yourself as you listen to them talk excitedly.

Since you weren’t one for alcohol, you always ended up as the mom for everyone, doubly so for your sister. She may be 5 years older than you, but you always felt like more of the responsible one. You didn’t mind it though. You figured it was a good payoff for everything else she does for you on a daily basis. Suddenly, another knock from the front door echoes down the hall and you’re quick to throw the metal bowl you just grabbed from the shelf down onto the counter before running to see who it is.

Much to your dismay, it’s not Levi. When you pull open the door, you see three people; Moblit Berner being one of them, whom you have seen many times since your move here. Hange’s coworkers are all carrying their own vice for tonight in their arms.

You give them a small smile in welcome and Moblit offers a friendly one in return. The two companions behind him consist of Nanaba, someone you have only met twice in passing, and another man, someone you have never seen before. You eyeball him apprehensively as you wave to Nanaba in hello, to which she does the same in response.

“Oh yeah, Onyankopon,” Moblit turns his head over his shoulder to refer to the man. “This is Hange’s little sister.” He says kindly. You wave at the stranger, still wary. The man named Onyankopon is very tall and broad chested with a crew cut that faded up his head. He gives you a big smile that warms up his entire face and speaks to you in a velvety tone.

“It’s nice to officially meet you. You know, your sister talks a lot about you.” His chocolate eyes are even warmer than his demeanor, and you can’t help but grin back at him with a blush, deciding he was okay. You side-step so they can funnel into the door. Your eyes linger down the hallway without meaning to, hoping to see a raven-haired man stalking up to the door. But it remained empty, so you shut it with another sigh and turn back to the ever-growing crowded apartment.

The company sat in various places in the living room while idle chatter filled the space. Some even opted for the floor, Hange being one of them. After a while, you had to remind your sister to take off the towel she had wrapped around her head because she was so engrossed in her conversation that she didn’t even notice it. It had dried for so long that her hair was even more frazzled than before. You just shook your head at her in amusement.

You make yourself busy with the cookies while everyone converses, the noise turning into buzzing. The living room was so cramped with bodies that you could barely breathe, so you found great solace in the kitchen. At this point you had donned on an apron that had floral designs vining their way to the top. It was an attempt to keep the inevitable mess from splattering on to you. While you loved to cook and bake, you were not neat about it in any capacity, but you found that to be the fun of it.

After turning the mixing bowl on to blend the sugar and butter, you turn to your now cold teapot and sigh. It had gone cold, but you hate to waste it; you decide to pour it into a sealable cup to make iced tea with it later.

You start to juggle the choices of either starting a new pot now or waiting until everyone has arrived when your ears perk up at another knock at the door. Your heart now racing at who it could be, you stare out to the living room over the half wall to see if anyone heard but no one had even turned their head. You shut off the mixer then wipe your hands on your apron as you make your way to the door. Taking a deep breath, you pull it open effortlessly.

You can’t keep your face from breaking out into a grin when your eyes fall on the short man with a deadpan expression standing in front of you. Levi. Furlan is there as well, waving at you from behind his friend. You mouth a ‘Hi’ to them both, barely containing the giddiness from the present company.

“Sorry we’re late. Not only did this jerk decide he was tagging along, but he also spent an ungodly amount of time getting ready.” Levi’s gruff voice speaks out to you as he tips his head to Furlan. You meet his soft gaze, and he winks playfully. Levi was wearing a snug, black long sleeve with even darker denim jeans. Your stomach flips as you force yourself to stare into Levi’s metallic eyes.

Waving them in the door, they follow suit and take their shoes off to place next to the pile already sitting by the door. Levi scoffs, no doubt annoyed by the messiness. You’re suddenly hyper aware of how dirty the apartment must look compared to his. After shutting the door behind them, you spin around and almost run right into Levi. You gasp in surprise and step back right into the door with a ‘thud’. Furlan was long gone, and you can hear his playful voice reverberating down the hall as he introduced himself to the rest of the company.

“Are you okay?” Levi asks, concern lacing into his deep voice. You laugh at yourself silently as he eyes you carefully. You nod and wave your hands dismissively at him to show you were indeed okay.

“Mm. I bought these for tonight. Where can I put them?” He shifts three large bottles of various sodas in his arms in awkwardness. His eyes avert from you as he speaks. You stare stunned for a moment as you realize he must have bought them specifically for you. Noticing you haven’t moved, his eyes shift back up to you with an eyebrow raised. Cracking a smile, you nod. The flips in your stomach hardly cease as you tip your head forward to signify where the kitchen was, passing him as well to lead the way.

After he places the bottles in the fridge, he closes the doors, and his eyes widen in surprise at the mess before him. You being you, there was flour everywhere and butter wrappers lie discarded by the mixer. Said mixer was surrounded by sugar from when you missed the bowl earlier. You look away sheepishly as you feel a hard stare at your face.

“Are you a toddler?” He asks, but there is no malice. It almost sounded as if he was amused.

Grabbing one of the wipe-off boards you placed in the kitchen earlier, you pop off a cap and start scrawling. 'Maybe.' Flipping it over to him with a shrug, you see the corners of his mouth twitch.

'Tea?' You point to your cluttered tea station. Levi turns to see an open tin of tea leaves and an empty kettle. He says nothing as he gets to work, doing it all before you can do anything. You gawk at his deft hands as he makes quick work of it all, like he was back in his cafe. Some of his hair fell in his face as his head hung low in focus. After gently placing the porcelain lid back on the pot, he turns back to you.

'You didn't have to do that, you know. I was mainly asking so I could start it.'

"Tch, I was already here. Besides, I'm probably faster at it." You can't argue on that, so you just shrug your shoulders at him again with a slight smile. He leans back against the kitchen counter and studies your face, and you feel your face bloom in heat. You place the board back down on the counter and point to your mess to show you were going to start back on the cookies. Tightening your hair buns, you then wash your hands and get back to work on the mixer, throwing in the ingredients as needed.

After a moment, you hear something rustling behind you and when you glance to the source, you see Levi pulling on the other apron that hung off the fridge. You stare at him curiously and he just tightens the drawstrings behind him as he meets your gaze.

"I'm helping." You hesitate but scoot over in response, and he steps up next to you. Your arms are almost touching, and it takes everything inside of you not to combust. So, you both get to work like that, side by side. The sounds of chatter and laughter from the rest of the group fade out as you both concentrate. You hand him the rest of the ingredients and he carefully pours them in the bowl. When everything is incorporated and set aside, you then measure out the other ingredients for the chocolate portion of the cookies. You don’t see it, but Levi just watches you patiently, admiring your meticulous yet messy way of making sure everything is accurate. When you glance up at him, he looks away quickly.

"Whatcha two up to?" A sly voice rings out after a while. Startled, you both jerk your heads up from the tray you two were placing raw dough cutouts on. It's Hange, leaning on the wall with their chin cradled in two cupped hands. They have a very cheeky grin plastering their face.

"What does it look like, Four-Eyes?" Levi snaps back dryly.

"Well, since you're asking me. It looks like you two are having fun." They wiggle their eyebrows at you and Levi just scoffs and averts his gaze. Your cheeks flare up again because you were definitely having fun, but you weren’t going to admit that. Hange tuts at you two and reaches over to pat you on the head lovingly.

"I just came over because you were both ignoring our calls." Looking over their shoulder, you see Erwin eyeballing you and Levi with a raised eyebrow. He takes a sip of his drink and looks away to keep talking to Moblit and Onyankopon. Nanaba, Furlan, and Miche broke out a deck of cards and are in the middle of a game of Poker.

'Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.' You sign to her, frowning.

"No worries, we were just wondering if you guys were hungry. We were thinking of pizza!" They clap their hands excitedly. They were always thinking of pizza, you laugh to yourself. Hange loves pizza so much that even the mere mention of its cheesy goodness would summon them right then and there. Your stomach rumbles just thinking about it as well, so you nod.

"I could eat." Levi states as he lifts his teacup to his lips, three fingertips on the rim. Him doing so reminds you of the cup Levi had poured for you that you had left to get cold. You lightly touch the sides of it, and it still feels warm. As you take a sip, you’re hit with the boldness of the leaf blend you had chosen as well as a perfect amount of sweetness. ‘Levi makes the best tea’, you think to yourself.

"Perfect, I'll get those ordered. We'll just stick to the basics, yeah?" She pulls out her phone and starts dialing the nearest pizza place while walking away to join everyone in the living room. Levi picks up the couple of trays filled with raw cookies and slides them into the pre-heated oven. When he turns around, you can't help but silently chuckle as you take a closer look at his face for the first time since you both started your venture.

There is a streak of cocoa powder on his forehead that starkly contrasts on his pale skin. You point to it and your shoulders bounce in silent laughter as he brings a hand up to it to rub the spot. His eyes go wide as he notices the brown powder that is now staining his fingers. He grabs the towel you had draped over the dishwasher to wipe it away, his ears turning pink. He turns away from you as he does.

You eye Levi as he folds the towel neatly and puts it back where he got it from, huffing under his breath. He then starts gathering the dirty dishes and piles them into the sink, tugging on the faucet to rinse them off. While he's busy on that, you begin wiping down the counters with a wet rag. Levi gives you a side-eye and you meet his gaze, giving him a warm smile. He looks away again to focus on a bowl he was currently spraying with hot water. As you stare at him for a second longer, you can’t help but think how well you two worked together.

You grab the board once more and write, ‘Thank you for your help. (:’ before flipping the board over to Levi as he dries his hands on the towel. His eyes trail the words, and he glances up at you with indifference.

“Mm.” He hums. His eyes flick over to the timer that was set on the stove as he leans back against the sink and takes another sip of his tea. The cookies had eight minutes left. It almost felt as if he was reading your mind because neither of you moved with the intention leaving the calm kitchen. When you look over to the living space, you see everyone talking over each other in lively conversation. Onyankopon is pointing at the small fish tank that sat nestled in the corner of the room as he shouts over to Hange, who is in the middle of cleaning off the coffee table.

“Hange, I didn’t know you had fish.” He bends down to take a closer look at the two little fish darting around shifting plants.

“Oh yes, they’re my little babies!” She stands straight up and jumps over to the tank and continues as she points at the respective tetras. “This one is Sonny and this one is Bean!” You can’t help but chuckle internally at your over enthusiastic sister. Ever since you both moved to Jinae, Hange really wanted pets. They had requested a dog, but they were too overwhelming for you. She wasn’t really around enough to be able to spend time with them anyways which meant most of it would fall on to you and you weren’t okay with that. So, you both compromised on her getting a couple fish to start out with and would think about the notion again later. Thus far, Hange has been very content with them and hasn’t asked for anything else.  

“They’re gorgeous, Hange.” Onyankopon compliments as he stares at the tank. Hange slaps him on the shoulder in appreciation and starts rambling off the reasons why she chose tetras and all the research she did on them.

“That’s it, boys. I win!” Nanaba shouts from the dining table, slamming her cards onto the hard surface. Furlan and Miche groan in frustration, the latter rubbing his face in exhaustion.

“I swear you’re cheating.” Furlan sits back in his chair as he places his own hand down.

“I second that.” Miche leans over to stare at her cards and just sighs. Dejected, he gets up and wanders towards the bathroom, almost running into Erwin as he emerges from that same direction.

“C’mon guys, at least I vetoed any betting.” She calls out, smirking as she piles the cards up and starts shuffling them.

“You just did that out of pity.” Nanaba just cackles maniacally at Furlan’s dispirited comment.

“Hange, there are too many men in here.” She twists in her chair to face your sister who turns to acknowledge Nanaba’s complaint.

“Psh, I’ll drink to that.” And she does, holding her drink up in cheers and takes a big gulp. You roll your eyes, but you agree. There were way too many men in your apartment right now. Just then, there’s a knock at the door and Hange stands up quickly, face alert like a meerkat in the African wilderness.

“Pizza!” They yell and then they’re off to the front door, a wad of cash in hand.

At the same time, the timer goes off with a soft beeping and you’re quick to grab the oven mitts to pull the trays out. You gingerly place the trays on the stovetop to let them cool and Levi reaches past you to turn off the oven, his face in your periphery as you glance to the side. His movements waft his scent straight into your nose and you find yourself breathing it in deeply. He smelled of clean laundry with a hint of body wash. It isn’t overpowering in the slightest and you revel in it.

“You two are missing out on the fun cooping up in here.” Someone speaks out behind you two as they walk through the archway to the kitchen. You both jump at the voice and turn to see Erwin holding an armful of empty alcohol containers.

“Tch, it beats being surrounded by a bunch of loud mouths.” Levi counters, turning back to the cookies to inspect them. You reach over to grab the trash can and hold it up to Erwin for him to dump the trash. Hange comes in behind him and places four stacked pizza boxes on the counter next to you. You stare at your sister in awe and sign, ‘That’s a lot of pizza.’

“I know but I didn’t know how hungry everyone was. Besides! Leftovers.” They give another cheeky grin, and you just playfully punch her arm. Reaching up in the cupboard behind you, you grab a handful of plates for everyone as well a cup for you, now realizing how parched your throat was.

“Oi, grab me one too.” Levi asks next to you, so you grab another after setting what you held down first. When you turn to hand it to him, he’s a lot closer than you expected and accidentally hit him in the side of the head with the glass in hand. He doesn’t even flinch. He’s looking up at you with knit eyebrows and a thin line in place of his lips.

“Ow.” You hear Erwin and Hange stifling laughter as they organize the pizza boxes.

You set the cup down and start signing frantically, ‘I’m sorry.’ over and over again. You place both of your hands on his face and tilt it so you could get a better look at the spot where you hit him, filled with relief when you find no visible damage. You’re in such a panic that you don’t even notice his stunned disposition. Your hands feel so warm against his cool skin, and it’s so soft. You realize what you’re doing after a moment and let your arms drop to your side, mouthing an apology and stepping away from him.

“It’s fine. I didn’t realize how long your arms were.” He mumbles as he walks over to the fridge without another word, cup in one hand, his other pressing against the spot where you smacked him. How long your arms were? That was such a weird thing to say. Flustered, you grab the plates and shuffle them over to the counter with the pizza. Now that they have opened the boxes, you get a closer look at the options.

There were a couple cheeses, one pepperoni, and one pineapple. Your eyes light up and you gaze at Hange with adoration, forgetting what just happened mere moments ago. They wink at you then call for everyone to plate up ‘while it’s hot’.

Yes, you ate pineapple on your pizza. It first began as a joke just to spite those who turned it down, but then you found out you actually enjoyed the taste. There was something about the sweet and savory flavors that blended perfectly.

Levi comes over with two glasses and hands one with what looked to be a dark cola to you. You mouth a ‘thank you’ as you watch his face twist in disgust as he eyes the boxes in front of him. “Are those pineapples?” Levi leans in for a better look, eyebrows knit.

“Pineapples?!” Furlan rushes over from the table to look at the pizza, the new poker game forgotten. “Alright, who’s the one who asked for them?” He looks around the room and spots you with your hand raised in the air.

“Oh my gosh I could hug you right now. Pineapple on pizza is the best!” He exclaims. He leans over the half wall to marvel at it and then looks back up to you with a massive smile. Levi clicks his tongue and grabs a slice out of the cheese box then makes his way into the living room. You can’t help but feel sad at the sudden absence.

.

“Okay, okay. My turn. Hange. Your obsession with zombies, what the fuck is up with that?” Nanaba leans on the coffee table in anticipation. Your sister just cackles and sits up straight as they push their glasses up their nose with a finger. There’s a glimmer in their eyes.

“That’s hardly a difficult question. I grew up watching zombie movies and I just need to know how they tick. Like what kind of sorcery goes into making them do the things they do?!”

“Hange, they’re fictional creatures, there’s no science that could ever explain that!” Moblit shouts from next to her, exhausted. Hange just laughs and goes on a tangent about possible ways to make and cure zombies, but you zone out as it’s a conversation you have had with them for many years. Looking around the table, you smile to yourself. Tonight has been such a fulfilling evening for you. Being around familiar faces as well as getting to know new ones brought more joy to you than you expected. Not to mention this ridiculous game you were all playing that made your face ache from laughter.

Miche had come up with a game called “What the fuck is up with that?” as a way to wind down from such a big dinner. Players ask someone something personal about their life and follow it with ‘what the fuck is up with that?’ and if they refuse to answer it, they have to take a drink. It honestly felt like a more cracked version of “Truth or Dare” but it was fun, nonetheless. You, of course, nursed soda in your hands instead of alcohol so you were the most sober one here.

So far, no one was really trashed. Tipsy, definitely; There were some words that were starting to slur. What surprised you the most was Levi’s soberness in comparison to everyone else considering how many times he had to take a drink. It figures that any questions directed to him, he opted for silence. You do, however, notice his cheeks were ever so slightly flushed when you glance at him next to you. He radiated an aura of relaxation, which you can’t help but assume is a rare thing for him. He turns to meet your gaze, not looking away after what felt like a good minute.

“Okay okay, we get it Hange. Enough!” Your attention is snapped back into the present company, and you break eye contact to see Onyankopon laughing and throwing a balled-up napkin at Hange’s face to shut her up.

“Fine, sorry! Hmm…” Their eyes wander on the people sitting in the circle with them until they land on Furlan’s face. “Alright, Furlan. You! You’re single and you’re extremely attractive. What the fuck is up with that?” Everyone’s attention shifts to Furlan’s bright red face.

“What the fuck is up with the singleness or the attractiveness?” His voice sounds an octave higher.

“Well, both, obviously, dumbass.” Nanaba pitches in.

“I well. Uh.” His eyes flicker to yours and then look away just as quickly. “I just haven’t found what I was looking for yet, I guess. And for the attractiveness, I just am?” He shrugs his shoulders and laughs nervously. He takes a sip of his drink anyways as he averts his gaze to anything but the people in front of him.

“Hmmm. I don’t know if I’m okay with that answer, but I’ll let it slide. Okay, you pick the next one!”

“Oh okay, uhh.” His eyes travel around until they lock eyes with you again. “The berry nickname. What the fuck is up with that?” Everyone’s gaze now shifts on you. You realize that Hange had called you her ‘little berry’ in front of everyone but had never really given an explanation. You bite your bottom lip and start scrawling on your board. Everyone waits for you patiently and a wave of gratitude washes over you. They really were a great group of friends.

‘When I was younger, I used to steal Hange’s berries from their parfaits.’ You flip the board, and everyone is silent as they read. They burst into laughter one by one, Hange included. Even Levi’s scarred mouth has an upturn. You couldn’t give the full story because it would be too long for you to write, but growing up in the foster system meant you were deprived of a lot of good things, one of those being fresh fruit. So, when the night came when the Zoe’s officially adopted you and they wanted to celebrate with parfaits, you went absolutely feral. You had never tasted anything like fresh berries before and they quickly became your favorite thing in the world, next to your sister of course.

“You guys should have seen her for the month after that. All she wanted was berries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She prefers strawberries, but we don’t discriminate here. All berries are valid!” She yells, taking another sip of her drink. You laugh silently along with them and start thinking of the next victim. After a few moments, you scribble down what was on your mind. Then you point to Erwin and his eyes bulge at the sudden movement but straightens up anyways, clearing his throat.

‘So Erwin, I notice you’ve been taking my sister out for drinks quite often. Your relationship with them, what the fuck is up with that?” You smile innocently at your sister’s composed face.

“Psh, easy.” He pats your sister on the head and Hange just laughs in response, swatting at it. “You of all people know how fun she is to be around. More so when she’s drunk. She’s a great karaoke partner.” They clink the bottles they had in their hands together and smile at each other. You furrow your eyebrows and stick your tongue out.

‘Boooooooo.’ You write and your sister just shoves your shoulder.

“C’mon, you can’t seriously think there’s anything happening between this,” Hange wiggles their index finger in between her and Erwin. “Like really. We’re definitely not each other’s type.”

Miche snorts and mutters something under his breath but you can’t hear the words. Erwin chuckles and nods in agreement then takes another sip of his drink as he surveys the faces in front of him. They land on Levi and his gray eyes bore into Erwin’s crystal blue.

“Hey Levi…” Erwin has a smirk playing on his lips as he stares at his best friend. “I notice you’ve been smiling when you look down at your phone recently. What the fuck is up with that?” Erwin’s eyes sparkle mischievously. Levi just scoffs but you gawk at him with wide eyes, along with Furlan and Hange. Levi doesn’t smile. Sure, you can always tell when he’s fighting it. But you’ve never seen his curt demeanor break into joy.

Levi narrows his eyes on Erwin then answers with a big swig of his glass, finishing off the contents in it as he continues to stare at his friend. Levi’s face is certainly more flushed than before, the tips of his ears bright red as well. He looks away, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

“Booooooo!” Hange echoes what you had exclaimed earlier.

“Leeeeeviiii! Are you talking with someone?! I thought you were mine.” Furlan pouts, arms crossed.

“It’s none of your goddamn business.” Levi’s voice is brusque. He gets up from his spot quickly and takes his empty glass to the kitchen.

“What do you mean? I think your friends deserve to know.” Hange sits up on their knees to call over to Levi’s backside.

“Then we’re not friends.” He says and disappears down the hall to the bathroom.

“Is he always like that?” Nanaba questions as she finishes her own drink as she stares down the hallway.

“Yes, it’s very normal for him.” Erwin states matter-of-factly, chuckling at the rise he got from Levi.

“Short and angry. It’s quite the combo.” Onyankopon cuts in, grinning.

You fidget with the wipe-off marker as you think about how he reacted. It wasn’t very surprising to you. Levi is a very private man when it comes to such things. All of the conversations you had with him were still on a fundamental surface layer. You knew better than to ask anything deeper for fear of him shutting you out, like he just did with Erwin’s question. Levi, at least, didn’t sound angry right now, but you suspect it was because it was someone so close to him asking such a question. If it was you… then. Well, you were scared of what he might do from such an intimate question.

“Yanno what, it’s probably about that time I head out. It’s getting pretty late.” Moblit chimes in as he starts to get up from his spot on the floor.

“Whaaat!? We still have one more thing left to do. Besides, it’s literally,” Hange takes a glance at the clock on the wall. “10:30. Just a little longer??” They clasp their hands as they beg, staring up at her friend.

“I must agree with Moblit here, we need to submit our report before the end of this week.” Onyankopon replies as he gets up as well. He squeezes Hange’s shoulder as he speaks with a slight smile. Hange sticks her bottom lip out.

“Fine, fine. But just know, you’re missing out on only the greatest tradition ever: Making fun of stupid romance movies.”

“I wanna do that!” Nanaba cuts in, laughing at the idea.

“Nanaba, we’re literally your ride home.” Moblit calls out from the dining room as he pulls on his winter jacket. Grabbing Nanaba’s as well, he makes sure to pick up the deck of cards they brought and shoves it into her jacket pocket.

“Boo.” She gets up clumsily and huffs. “You two are no fun.”

“What she said.” Hange says, sticking her tongue out again.

“Seriously though, Hange. Great party. We had a really good time.” Onyankopon compliments as he zips up his own coat. At this point, everyone is standing up as they talk to each other. You glance over and notice that Miche is getting ready to leave too.

‘You’re going too?’ You scrawl to him quickly.

“Ah yes, unfortunately IT never takes a break.” He mutters to you solemnly as you go in to give him a tight hug. “Are we still on for next Wednesday?” You nod at him with a cheerful grin. “Great, I’ll see you then.” He ruffles your hair and walks past to say goodbye to everyone else.

After a few more goodbyes, it’s just you, Hange, Erwin, and Furlan standing in the living room. Your sister and Erwin were conversing about what movie to watch as Furlan shuffles up next to you. Levi still hadn’t come out of the bathroom yet.

“I bet he’s taking a shit.” His blasé statement makes you giggle uncontrollably, your shoulders shaking as you do. You hold your hand to your mouth to compose yourself as you give Furlan such a bewildered look. He just winks at you.

“Furlan, I’m going to kick your ass.” Levi’s sharp voice cuts in behind you both and it makes you both jump.

“Hey now, I was just kidding.” Furlan’s voice wavers as he takes a step back. You wave at Levi with a warm smile, but he just averts his gaze and goes to sit down on the sofa, one leg crossed on his knee. Biting your cheek, you go and find a spot on the floor, making sure to put a pillow under your butt for comfort. Hange and Erwin are flicking through a bunch of streaming apps trying to find the chosen movie for tonight.

“Ah okay, I know what we’re doing!” Hange slaps their hands together in finality. Erwin makes his way to the armchair and sits back with a heavy sigh.

“Not my first choice.” He says, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

“Oh c’mon. Everything about it screams bad romance. Plus, it’s the worst out of all of them.”

“Hange, you never cease to amaze me.” Furlan states as he takes the spot next to Levi.

Twilight: New Moon? Really? In your heart of hearts, you couldn’t completely hate Twilight as you were practically obsessed with it in your late teens. But you had to agree, it wasn’t the best out of the five films. It’s like Hange knew what you were thinking because they stare directly into your eyes and wiggle their eyebrows at you teasingly. You roll your eyes, and she chuckles.

“Move it, sis. I’m going for the spot behind you.” Hange slips past you to sit on the couch right next to Levi’s other side. You back up so you’re sandwiched in between Hange’s legs, and you yawn with the added warmth. You had a fleeting thought of not being able to finish the movie before falling asleep. How right you were. You don’t even make it past Bella’s dream sequence, drifting off into your own little world. The smell of clean laundry and musky body wash permeates your senses as you do.

.

Levi isn’t even paying attention to the movie. Even if it was something he was interested in, his focus could not be kept on the screen. Levi felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest as he felt the weight of you leaning against his bad leg. Your soft cheek pressed into his knee while you slept soundly. His joints have been aching for the last hour, but he would sooner touch fire before disturbing you. He couldn’t see your face very well from this angle, but he could only assume how peaceful you looked right now. Your hair is still in buns, but they were much messier than before from the activities of the day, hair falling every which way.

As you sighed softly in your sleep, his mind raced with everything that had happened today. From the ecstatic look in your eyes when you opened the front door to when you had gently cradled his head in your warm hands after hitting him on accident, making sure you didn’t hurt him. He still felt tingles of your touch shooting through his nervous system from that. And making cookies with you, he had more fun than he could admit. You were so meticulous and careful, albeit chaotic in your ways. He found it so endearing.

 Then that damn Erwin asking that stupid question. Erwin knew and still egged him on. Of course, it was you; you were the reason why his heart and stomach did flips whenever he heard his phone vibrate. He wouldn’t allow anyone to know that though, especially you. Not when you already seem so entwined in other people’s lives.

Levi hadn’t missed Furlan’s interest in you. His longtime friend often stated that he wanted to get to know you even more. Not to mention Furlan’s tactless ways of wanting to include you in everything he made plans to do. It seemed as if you weren’t aware of his intentions though, so maybe he wasn’t clear enough. Levi hopes you never pick up on it.

And of course, there was Miche. What kind of relationship did you have with him? Levi didn’t mishear how you had plans with him next week. And the intimate touching? What was that all about? The relationship with Miche did not seem romantic from his viewpoint, but then again.

Levi was never the jealous type, or so he thought. He found that any attention aimed at you ruffled him. What about you made him feel like this? He scoffs under his breath, not able to look away from the back of your head. Hange stops munching on the cookie in her hands and turns at the sound, now noticing you fast asleep on Levi’s knee.

“Want me to take her for you?” They whisper to Levi, shifting to stand up.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want you to miss out on prime Eduardo and Beatrice or whoever the fuck these people are.” Levi waves his hand dismissively and carefully gets up, making sure to move your head so it doesn’t flop forward. “Which one is her room?” He asks as he stares down at Hange. They regard him in curiosity but smile regardless.

“The door with the sakuras on them.” Levi nods and bends down to effortlessly pick you up despite his smaller frame, cradling you as your head falls back. You’re deeply asleep at this point, he assumes, because you make no motion from the disturbance. Levi feels the stares from Furlan and Erwin as he steps over everyone to make it to the set of bedroom doors down the hall.

As he delicately places you on your bed, he starts to pull the soft comforter up to cover you but then you shift in your sleep, making him pause. With the confirmation of your sleep-induced heavy breathing, he pulls the blanket up the rest of the way and takes a long look at your soft features. The peace that radiated off your face was something he delighted in. How beautiful you were to him.

On his way out, he steps slowly to the door, being mindful of his surroundings as he goes. He spots a couple of framed pictures that littered your cluttered desk. One catches his eye in particular; It’s a photo of when you were very young, maybe 5 or so. He takes a step forward for a closer look, minding the creaking floorboards carefully. An unsettling feeling runs cold in his veins as he recognizes the family that surrounded you as well as the house in the background. He knew that family and he knew that house, and he came to realize he knew you as well.

A flashback hits him like a brick. One of him and the boy in the photo, your brother, playing outside until the sunset. Of you yelling for him with your small voice that it was time for dinner and that he needed to come home. Of your little pigtails completely askew as you cried after falling on the gravel due to a skateboard accident from when him and your brother tried to teach you how to balance on it. Of him giving you a flower to distract you from the pain and your bleeding kneecaps. Of having to move away because his good for nothing father threatened his mom and Levi had warned him to try. Of you and your family waving goodbye as he stared from the rear window, the view of your tear-streaked face getting smaller and smaller as his mom drove away.

He had forgotten all about you, and it seemed you had forgotten about him. A breath hitches in his throat and he turns to look back at you, your face scrunched up from a dream as you pull the blankets closer. No wonder he felt compelled to you, almost like he needed to protect you. With a soft sigh, he creeps slowly to the door and slips out before shutting it close behind him.

You roll over in your sleep, sighing again, the night of the fire haunting your dreams.

☾ Previous Chapter: January ☾ Next Chapter: March