#eruri hurt/comfort

[rivangel]

I would love love love an eruri snippet if you’re up to it! I crave emotionally vulnerable Levi and Erwin being especially gentle with him because he sees how he’s struggling to let said vulnerability show. Ugh I’m just such a sap for Levi crying in front of Erwin and Erwin making everything a little better ❤️ Your writing is always so engaging and I love how you write them 😭

hehehe sooooo this turned into more of a snippet kfgkksjd. i crave emotional levi and gentle erwin too, so i hope you enjoy!!

about: Years down the road, Erwin has to make a visit to the Underground, which stresses the hell out of Levi. He's so weak... right?

//massive hurt/comfort, Levi is traumatized (who's surprised), canonverse, established relationship, Levi being vulnerable>>>, disturbing topics | 2.0k

Fucking Nile. If Levi didn't know Erwin, he'd be angrier at him for this underhanded deal, especially with it having to do with the Underground. It's to get on Nile's good side. And being on the good side of the Military Police commander means funding.

It highlights the MP's cowardice, getting a squad of Scouts to do all the heavy lifting in order to attain a high-profile arrest Underground (Levi didn't get details, as if he wanted them) while the MP rakes in all the benefits. Like a heightened reputation among the pigs who practice politics. And as for the criminal?—Another will easily fill their place.

All lazy, inept bastards, every single one of them. Like one big happy family.

Erwin's alibi is rather simple. This is going down a few days before the bi-annual assembly in Mitras. That's how Levi ended up here, holed up in their hotel room while the action is happening below his feet.

Erwin has been gone since this morning, and it's probably late in the afternoon. He isn't sure, since he hasn't eaten since then, and though—on top of eating something—there's a hundred productive things he can be doing, he feels frozen in place in this armchair, basking in a trepidatious silence.

He's been hearing footsteps outside in the hall all day. Each one he measures in the back of his mind and registers as, Not Erwin.

All this alone time has at least given Levi time to decide whether he's grateful Erwin told him to stay (Levi would be recognized down there; rumors would inevitably sprout up of the retired criminal having relapsed on causing trouble), or troubled that he didn't go. Even though it would mean stepping foot there again, he doesn't like thinking about Erwin down there.

It’s not his first time, though. Erwin is fine, is going to be fine, obviously, but there is something about it that rubs him the wrong way.

Levi leans back in his seat and crosses his arms a little tighter as he gazes out the window, ambivalent to the rich city down below. People are heading home from work, and the late afternoon sunlight is casting shadows. Should be soon.

Slow footsteps, ambling their way down the hall.

Erwin.

Something in him relaxes, then leaps up as the lock on the door turns over, following the soft creak as it opens.

Levi inspects Erwin's appearance closely before Erwin even smiles and greets him. He's dressed the same he left this morning, shrouded in a long, nondescript cloak, and his uniform from the waist down, including the straps but missing his gear.

But he's filthy. Although it's slicked back, Levi can tell that the constant, stinking humidity got to his hair. Dirt, dried mud splashed on his white pants, some dark liquid—too dark to be blood but too congealed not to be sewage—splattered on his cloak (Said cloak is stringy and torn in a few places.), pants, especially his boots. Levi bristles at the thought, even though Erwin must've wiped them when he came in the building. They touched the Underground, therefore they're contaminated. He even smells very faintly of some sour, putrid dust-like combination that belongs only to the Underground. It makes him nauseous.

It's all like an ashen, filthy aura. On Erwin.

"Hello, Levi."

"You look like shit. Smell like it too," he snaps, unmoving. "Get in the shower."

Erwin looks surprised, not by the order, but his sudden and sharp aggression. Levi is telling himself that it's not Erwin he's mad at even as he acts like this, but it's not working.

"Don't you want to hear a debr—"

"No," he growls. He rises from his seat, ignoring his stiff muscles, and knocks the bathroom door to Erwin's side open with his heel. "You come back like this and think you have better things to do than get clean? You're disgusting."

Levi's glare could pierce skin. Behind his tone, Erwin senses a thinly-veiled threat that Levi wouldn't go through with. In fact he looks one more excuse away from biting his head off. The fact that he's making it at all means he's better off doing as he says without probing.

"Alright," Erwin says slowly. "Is there anything else you need from me?"

Levi doesn't relax, but at least his voice lowers. "Don't touch anything you won't clean after. You'll contaminate the bathroom."

Erwin nods again. "I understand."

"Tch, if you did, you wouldn't waste clean air asking stupid questions."

Levi continues cursing as he storms into the bathroom. He comes out with a towel, unravels it and lays it next to Erwin, all the while keeping his distance, he notices.

Levi takes a step back and crosses his arms. "Take off your shit."

Without moving from that spot, Erwin undresses, beginning with unclasping his cloak and unzipping his boots, followed by his straps and each article of his clothing.

Levi doesn't watch, and instead heads for the window near an armchair. He slides it wide open, and just stands, his back to Erwin until Erwin is finished.

"Anything else?" he asks.

"Go."

Levi is of course very passionate about cleaning, but this is obsessive, even for him. That worries him (Along with the fact that the room is untouched, and Levi was waiting when he entered. How long had he been sitting there?).

But for now, this is the right way to go about things. Levi couldn't radiate more standoffish energy if he even tried, but he seems calmer than before at least.

Closed in the bathroom, Erwin operates the knob that sends a harsh spray of water down on the tiled floor, and steps into the cubicle before it's lukewarm. In Mitras, the showers are always hot, but he both wants to be thorough, and get back to Levi soon. Something is deeply upsetting him.

When he's dried off and dressed in something more casual, he wipes off what he's touched for good measure, including the knob on the shower and the handle on the cubicle.

Opening the door, things look the exact same as he left them, except Levi.

Levi exists quietly whenever he's feeling "burdensome", Erwin knows that well. Upset, distressed. The last thing he ever wants is to be the center of attention, and the first is to be alone. In their case, that means hiding in plain sight.

Each piece of Erwin's clothes and belongings are individually enclosed in a thin, clingy wrap and stacked neatly upon that same towel by the door, including his boots. In fact, that entire spot where he came in smells and looks cleaner. Nowhere else.

The window on the far wall is still open, allowing the smell of the cool spring night to waft in. Levi sits there with his knees folded to his chest in front of the bed on the floor, apparently quarantining himself from the quarantine zone. He's expressionless.

Erwin frowns deeply. He approaches, but maintains distance. "I'm finished."

Nothing. And there's no work to be done that would allow them to quietly coexist together, or at least, not without leaving the room, which he won't do.

Step by step, Erwin approaches, and kneels down beside him. This position is unbecoming for either of them—high-ranking, veteran soldiers—but they aren't those two men right now.

Levi stares down at the floor in his presence, his bangs mostly obscuring his eyes.

"Look here, Levi, is this better?"

His empty gaze slides slowly over to Erwin's. With a blink, he's more interested in the floor again. He nods.

For several moments, it seems like there's something Levi wants to say, but it never translates to words.

Erwin offers him his hands palm-up to see for himself.

He raises his head and stares like he's never seen hands before. Erwin waits with unending patience, until Levi's fingers brush his palms, and with one finger, he brings Erwin's chin up, inspecting him for dirt.

He seems to approve. That is, he sits again and stares despondently ahead.

Erwin sits down next to him and asks, "Did neither of us expect this?"

He shakes his head, as if to rid himself of a thought, glances at the window, then back down again. His breath is getting labored

"It's over. It's alright." He hovers his hand on his shoulder, and when Levi doesn't react, he puts his arm around him. "That's over with. I know the air isn't as fresh in Mitras, but it's still nice, isn't it? The moon is out."

Levi stares out the window. He nods again.

He thinks he understands now. The presence of the open window reminds him that he isn't Underground, even traces of it is unacceptable.

Erwin looks where he's looking. "You will always have a view like this."

Levi takes a deep breath in, and then out, dragging his hands down his face. "I'm not stupid, Erwin. It’s the fact I’d gotten so weak without realizing it. Something... came over me when I saw you."

"The last thing you are is weak," he states firmly. He turns his head and props his chin on top of Levi's head. "You know, I've seen a few of the horrors there for myself, but that doesn't compare to surviving there. Moments that serve as reminders put one back on their guard. If you ever had to go back, I know you're strong enough to do it. But you don't, not ever."

"...Erwin..." His voice is so tight, like a dam on the verge of breaking. He trails off.

Levi worms closer to him, and when there's no more space left side-by-side, yet closer. Erwin carries Levi's legs across his own so that Erwin may shield him in his arms like he wanted to.

"Whatever you experienced, I would listen to you without judgment. You... must've been through so much pain."

“It…” Levi squeezes his eyes shut tight, willing himself to keep going, come to some conclusion. It's hard to pin down one reason, one story—it's all of it.

Levi works his jaw. “It… was"—his breath hitches—"hard."

The dam fractures, a well of emotion surging through, a flood. He loathes the sound of his voice when it shakes, and it's pathetic, pathetic to be rendered so weak.

Only Erwin ever finds a way to disarm and unravel him. He chose to sit here and tell Erwin about it, though he's only succeeded in crying like a whiny brat. Without admonishment, though, without praise—he carries this weight. He holds him as he stains his shirt with wet tears.

A moment is enough, but he can't seem to stop it. It's so intense that he can't even hang onto his embarrassment. He wants to sink into Erwin, or disappear through the floor, as long as these memories quit lashing his mind like whips. He grabs and pulls at his hair.

"It's alright, it's alright." Erwin rubs his back. "It's going to be alright."

He sobs. Even when his chest feels empty, utterly drained of sorrow, a weight sits solid where his heart beats. Will that ever disappear?

He has the feeling even if he screamed at the top of his lungs, it wouldn’t budge. It will always weigh on him, like his entire life weighs on him.

Almost, he resents Erwin for his feelings, because how could he do this to him? How could he tear past the defenses around his heart like this? Scarred so deeply it appears like leather, with missing pieces a select few people have taken with them when they left. When Erwin does, because he knows he will, his own life on the inside, won’t last long after.

His mind continues to batter him with vitriol. You’re so childish. You’re weak for this. This world doesn’t want you, and it definitely don’t care about you. Pathetic…

Those words are Kenny's.

"I can't take any of this back..." he whispers.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers back. “I’ll sit with you until you feel better. Then, we can have tea. While I work, you can clean my things. It’s all okay. I promise you."

Erwin also succeeds by some miracle, to ease the weight with a remedy so simply as his presence. That's more than he ever could or would ask for in this cruel world.

eruri masterlist | main masterlist

[shippingeruri]

I am so excited to present the first two chapters of the Eruri fic I am writing for the Eruri Matchmaking Event 2024 <3

@knightofcups_x created this amazing and breathtaking cover for this very tragic royal/medieval AU and I'm over the moon with how they captured the mood of the story with ease!!

Read Chapter 1 of Duty on AO3 here

[theearlgreymage]

Lifting tired blue eyes from his own book, Erwin noted which of his reads Levi now held in his hand. “Ah, that’s an old one.”  “No shit, this thing’s clearly seen better days.”  “It was my mothers.”  “Oh.” 

Another moment of silence fell between them. Erwin marked the page in his current book while Levi dropped his eyes back to the one in his hands. His eyes flitted over the text that described some plant he’d never heard of, but he was quickly drawn to the bits of handwritten notes in the margin.  “She kept a small flower garden when I was a child,” Erwin explained when Levi dared to lift his gaze from the suddenly precious book he held. “That book is technically illegal.”  At that, Levi snorted, relaxing. “Seriously? A book about flowers?” “There are flowers in there that don’t exist within the walls,” Erwin stated.

I read the Bad Boy Leaks and decided I wanted to be sad and miserable, so I wrote this.

Shout out to @ic3-que3n for Beta-Reading/Editing <3

Read it here on AO3

Additional information below the cut ✂

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Shingeko no Kyojin | Attack on Titan

Rating: Teen and Up Audience

Warnings: Major Character Death

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Kuchel Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman's Grandfather, Levi Ackerman's Parents, Erwin Smith, Erwin Smith's Mother, Hange Zoë, Mike Zacharias, Nanaba (Shingeki no Kyojin), Moblit Berner, Isabel Magnolia, Furlan Church, Special Operations Squad | Squad Levi, Original Special Operations Squad | Original Squad Levi, New Special Operations Squad | New Squad Levi, Petra Ral, Oluo Bozado, Eld Jinn, Gunther Schultz, Connie Springer, Armin Arlert

Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman & Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman & Kuchel Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman & Levi Ackerman, , Levi Ackerman & Isabel MagnoliaLevi Ackerman & Furlan Church, Levi Ackerman & Furlan Church & Isabel Magnolia, Levi Ackerman & Petra Ral, Levi Ackerman & Oluo Bozado, Levi Ackerman & Eld Jinn, Levi Ackerman & Gunther Schultz, Levi Ackerman & Hange Zoë

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canon EraSpoilers, Bad Boy spoilers, KissingBoys, Kissing, Falling In Love, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Loss, Fade to Black, Flowers, Language of Flowers, Levi isn't allowed to keep anything, Sad, POV Third Person

Summary:

“What if I'm not strong enough to carry it all?” Came Levi’s reply, small and timid for the first time in front of Erwin.

“You don't have to carry it all alone. I'll carry the burden with you, if you'll let me.”

They were both whispering as they exchanged words. Talking in hushed quiet tones that could be misconstrued as them sharing conspiratorial secrets.

[wimbledonsoot]

Being queer is shipping eruri for the hurt, and Levihan for the comfort.

[lovewithoregrets]

Falling Chapter 5: Dinner for Two

The next scouting expedition was an overall success. Casualties were down significantly as they got used to Erwin’s new long range scouting formation. It was a stroke of genius on his part. This time, they took down more Titans than the Titans took down of them. Erwin felt pleased that his plan was working so well. They had even managed to avoid the majority of potential encounters they came across. The numbers were undeniable. Everyone was in good spirits upon return for once and their return was mildly well received.  

As Levi was putting away his gear, Erwin came up to him. 

“Levi.” Erwin seemed to be in high spirits. “Join me in my quarters for dinner tonight. I want to celebrate together.”  

“Is that allowed?” 

“For officers it is.” He gave a wide smile. “One of the perks of the job.” 

Levi looked around at the other scouts who were busy checking their gear back in. Everyone seemed excited and Levi knew that the Mess Hall would be loud and obnoxious.  

“Sure. It beats eating with these idiots.” Levi shrugged.  

“Good. Meet me there in two hours. I must debrief with Shadis and the other squad leaders.”  

“Good luck with that.” Levi raised his eyebrows pointedly.  

That night was the first of many post-expedition dinners that Levi and Erwin would have. If it was good, then it was a celebration. If it had been bad, it was a consolation. Both enjoyed the quiet calm of each other’s company after both good and bad missions. 

On good days, they would be up into the wee hours of the night, recounting their favorite moments from the expedition, joking, and taking turns reading from one of Erwin’s favorite books.  These evenings were everything to them. Erwin would find himself recalling a story or joke from those nights and grinning to himself for days afterward.  

On the bad days, they could both process their losses and Levi often found himself having to keep Erwin from sinking into a deep depression. Over time, he got to see that the man that he had admired for his strength, was prone to being very hard on himself about the losses. He would often repeat how “selfish” he was. Levi was confused that the same man that had told him not to regret getting his friends mixed up in something that led to their demise would blame himself for the demise of others. One night, after one such failure, Levi came to Erwin’s chambers for dinner to find him sitting in the dark by himself.  

“Erwin?” Levi was very concerned. Erwin stirred but did not respond. Levi found a lamp and matches and placed the light on the table beside Erwin. Still, the man did not move. Levi was tired from the past several days, but he quickly put that aside when he realized how dark Erwin had gone.  

“Erwin, what’s the matter?” Levi asked as he sat across from him.  

Nothing. 

“So, your plan is to just sit here and feel sorry for yourself?” Levi hoped that would get his attention.  

“I don’t know.” Erwin whispered.  

“Talk to me.” Levi said, tired frustration building.  

“I can’t.” Erwin mumbled.  

“You can’t what?”  

“Talk about it.”  

“What can you do?” 

“I don’t know.” Erwin finally began to shake with emotion. Levi took a deep breath. He was barely holding it together himself. 

“You don’t have to talk. In fact, maybe it’s better if you don’t. But we gotta do something to get you back on your feet. So, what are we going to do?”  

“Just leave me be.” Erwin said in a pained voice, burying his face in his hands.  

“No.” Levi said stubbornly.  

Erwin looked up. His face was drawn, and he looked like the ghost of the man that Levi knew. 

“I’m not a good person, Levi.” he said dully. “Don’t waste your time.”  

“Tch, and I am a good person? Fuck off with that shit.”  

“You don’t understand.” 

“Then make me understand, Erwin. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” 

Silence.  

“Fine. Have it your way. I’m hungry and tired so I’ll eat and then be off.” Levi turned his attention to the food on the table. “Are you going to eat, or do I have to spoon feed you?”  

Erwin reluctantly picked up his fork and began to eat. Neither of them said anything. Levi was getting very worried. Erwin would get depressed, but he had never tried to push Levi away like this before or refused to talk. What does he mean I wouldn’t understand? What the hell is he talking about? Levi brooded. As he finished, he glanced over at Erwin who was still picking absently at his dinner. Fuck. Levi realized he couldn’t just leave Erwin like this. Levi doubted that the man would even go to bed if he left. He sat back and waited for Erwin to finish.  

“I thought you were going to bed.” Erwin said, dully.  

“I was, but I realized that you’re a fucking mess and I need to make sure you get to bed.” Levi stood up. “I’m making us tea. You’re going to have it and then we’ll put you to bed. End of discussion.” He walked out of the room and went to prepare a pot of tea for the two of them.  

Upon his return, Erwin hadn’t moved. He hadn’t made any progress on his dinner either. Levi set the tray with the pot and cups on it beside Erwin before pouring two cups and handing one to him.  

“Drink it.” Levi ordered. Erwin did as he was directed. Surprisingly, it seemed to do some good. He sat up a bit and looked at the cup in his hand. After a few more sips, he finally looked at Levi.  

“I’m sorry.” he said, not making eye contact.  

“About what?”  

“Ruining the evening.” Erwin replied.  

“I’m not mad at you.” Levi reassured him.” I am worried though.”  

“I know. I don’t want you to worry about me.”  

“Then do you mind telling me what this is about?”  

“I don’t want you to think badly of me if I do.” Erwin said meekly.  

“I can’t say that I won’t, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.” Levi replied, waiting for some kind of explanation.  

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”  

“Then tell me already.” 

Erwin nodded. He paused for some time, trying to work up the courage to say what he needed to say. Levi deserved that much. Erwin knew that he was giving up on the last ounces of energy that he still possessed to take care of him tonight.  

 “I’m not fighting for humanity’s victory.” 

“Come again?” Levi nearly spit out his tea.  

“I’m not fighting for humanity’s victory out there when we’re fighting Titans.” Erwin replied.  

“Ok...” 

Erwin then launched into a story about how his father had told him that the king had modified everyone’s memories and how he had been killed for it. Erwin talked about his dream after his dad had died, and about how he joined the military for it. How he had climbed the ranks for it.  

“All these people that died, they died for a lie. I am lying to them and myself. My motivation is completely selfish. And one day, I plan on becoming Commander of the Survey Corps. When I do, I will send even more people to their deaths for my own selfish dream.”  

“So what?” Levi was shocked but not upset.  

“What do you mean ‘so what’? I am getting people killed for something I don’t even believe in.”  

“Erwin, they aren’t putting their lives on the line because of you. They’re doing it because of the Titans. Everyone has been affected by the monsters out there.  At least you give them the ability to make peace with that before they die.” Levi said matter-of-factly.  

“You don’t think I’m the monster?”  

“No. I think you’re an upstanding and genuine person. And I don’t believe that the fate of humanity doesn’t matter to you. I think that it does.” 

Erwin just looked at him, stunned.   

Levi got out of his chair and kneeled in front of Erwin. “In my experience, it’s not as simple as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ people. What is good and bad anyway? You are a good leader, and a good friend. You didn’t trick me with fancy words to dedicate my life to humanity. I know you do care about humanity’s victory because I saw it on your face that day. That said, I learned everything I know from a bunch of criminals and low lives so maybe I’m just talking out of my ass. Either way, I can be ok with the choices I make. Is it for good or evil? I don’t know that I really know. But I know that you care. The people that died on this expedition did so for their own reasons, not because of you.”  

Erwin looked down at Levi, searching his face for any hint of judgement. He found none. He smiled tenderly, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for him.  

“Now, if you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, let’s get you to bed.” Levi stood up and took the teacup from Erwin’s hand. He located Erwin’s wardrobe and pulled out what appeared to be night clothes and set them on the bed. He piled the dishes on the tea tray and took them down to be washed to give Erwin some privacy to change. When he returned, he found Erwin in his undergarments and nothing else.  

“Oh sorry,” Levi went to leave.  

“It’s ok” Erwin called after him. "I sleep like this unless it is very cold. I get hot in the night”  

Levi turned back around. It was difficult not to stare at the taught muscles that were very visible now. Levi tried to keep his eyes on Erwin’s face, but he couldn't hide the flush that crept onto his cheek.  

Taking a deep breath, Levi located a cloth and wiped down the table and chairs with it to make sure all the crumbs were gone. He took Erwin’s discarded clothes and hung them back up in Erwin’s wardrobe. Levi then looked around the room to make sure that everything was where it should be. With a satisfied nod, he brought the lamp from the table to Erwin’s beside. He grabbed a chair and dragged it next to Erwin’s bed. Erwin looked at him, puzzled, as he got into bed. 

“What are you doing?” He questioned.  

“Reading a chapter before we go to bed.” Levi stated, opening the book to where they had left off. “Unless you’d prefer that I didn’t.” 

“No, please, go ahead.” Erwin said with a smile, settling into his pillows.  

Levi read a chapter before he could feel his eyes getting heavy. He glanced over at Erin who seemed to have drifted off. Levi put the book and chair away, before extinguishing the lamp next to Erwin. As he turned to leave, Erwin called after him. 

“Levi.” he said in an adorably sleepy voice. 

“Yeah, Erwin?” Levi turned to look at Erwin one last time.  

“Thank you.” Erwin said simply before rolling over and falling into a deep sleep.  

“Good night” Levi whispered.  

After closing the door, he slid down it and sat in the corridor outside. It had been hard enough to watch his comrades die without Erwin spiraling out like that. It had been a lot of information tonight-especially given how close to the chest Erwin was with personal information. Was Erwin really the man Levi thought that he was? It was difficult to see the man who gave so much of himself to the cause as a selfish monster. Levi knew that Erwin was calculated and that he could be callous at times. But it was the reason he was as successful as he was, in Levi’s mind. Erwin struggled with the fact that he had to be that way. Levi saw it on days like today. And knowing the guilt of his father’s death that he carried with him, it made sense that he would both distance himself from his choices and feel it in a very personal, innate way at the same time. Levi carried his own burdens as well. But he refused to believe that the man that had seen him and believed in him would be an inherently evil person. He wasn’t corrupt like the nobles and politicians. He wanted what was best.  

Levi sighed heavily. He was too tired to deal with this. The one thing that he knew was that regardless of his intentions, Erwin was a person of good, moral character. Nothing lese mattered beside that, Levi told himself. I know who he is. I know I can trust him regardless.  

He couldn’t get the image out of his head of Erwin in such a feeble state. He had seen glimpses before but now he understood it because he felt it himself. They were both people who would rather have others rely on them than be let down by unreliable people. It was a lonely existence, Levi had to admit to himself, but it worked. Now, seeing his own feeling reflected in Erwin, Levi felt a strong need to care for him. Erwin needed him.  

Levi made his way to his barracks. He was worn out and beyond tired. His comrades were fast asleep by the time he arrived. He sat on the edge of his bed for some time, just trying to process the events of the past few days. So much death and loss. It felt unfair. But what was worse was the plaintive look on Erwin’s face afterwards. The death of every scout had lasting repercussions for everyone. Maybe if any of what Erwin’s father believed was true, there was no end in sight for them. That thought was too awful to entertain. No, there would be an end. And then Erwin could finally let go of this burden of guilt that weighed on him so heavily. That would be good. Levi determined then and there that he would help Erwin find the truth, no matter what that truth was.  

[in-love-with-writing-whump]

A 3 hour long scroll through the "Eruri hurt/comfort" results on AO3 just reminded me how good a well-done hypothermia whump fic/drabble is.

The feeling of slowly going numb from the cold? The pain of feeling the warmth finally return? The potential fever & delirium? The fact that the best way to recover is to share body heat- and the way that trope is so good for a touch-starved Whumpee?

YES

[plinfaaa]

Levihan Headcanons

Bcs I feel fluffy today <3

------

Hange - Pansexual, Non-binary, They/He/She pronouns

Levi - Gay, Cismale, Demisexual, He/Him pronouns

CW/TW: mentioning of traumatic pasts/death, spoilers for Season 2,3 and 4 part 3

------

Hange is bad with hygiene so Levi made them a list how to correctly care for yourself and hung it up in the bathroom

As we all know Levi isn't that good with feelings, Hange knows that and whenever Levi is down, they know and just scoop him into a hug.

Hange is super expressive and whenever they're sad, they show it. Levi isn't good with encouraging words. He just sits, listenes and hugs them.

Levi can be super affectionate with Hange. He just knows when they need it. Sometimes he even needs it himself.

Hange loves to scribble while thinking when working. You may or may not thinking it but they can draw amazing due to often drawing titans. They love to gift Levi their scribbles. He collects them in a box.

Hange can't sleep without Levi at their side. Other way around. They often get flashbacks of things that happened in the past, so they like to protect each other that way.

Levi always makes sure that Hange binds their chest somewhat safely.

Hange actually loves to brush Levi's hair, especially after missions and will spend hours doing it until every knot is gone.

Levi often carry's Hange when they return from missions. They often go in way to energetic and end up knocked out and tired.

Got closer after Erwin's and Moblits death and eventually got together. But even before everyone saw potential in them.

Levi likes to read. Often he'll just sit with a cup of tea and read a book, meanwhile Hange either works or lays on his lap napping or watching him.

Bonus: Erwin knew he probably won't make it, he predicted he couldn't grow old with Levi, so he always wished he could find a new s/o when he dies. When Hange entered heaven he hugged them, telling them how proud and glad he was of them. He thanked them for caring and looking after Levi. As soon as Levi dies, he decides to stay with Hange, but is still close with Erwin.

☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆

[falil]

This is so beautiful

"Sleep well, my beautiful Levi... We'll see each other soon."

(I used one of Joe Bowler's illustrations as ref)

[firstfirerebel]

𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕠𝕣

Sumary: When Levi was forced to join the Survey Squad, he left someone behind, someone who had grown to hate him since then...

(Levi was forced to join the Survey Squad by Erwin, that's also why I don't like the ship Eruri [I love both, but together it's just toxic])

Pairing: Levi x fem! Reader

Warnings: Mention of abusive childhood, many traumas (bullying, mental abuse,...), angst, hurt

Years have passed since you last saw him. The guy you grew up with, and the guy who betrayed you.

Growing up was hard for both of you. You had more luck with the standard of the family, but still, your life was hard. Being the kid of two people who hated each other and only communicated by yelling and fighting wasn't exactly a good place for a child.

People around you always found something to mock and bully you. Kids your age were the worst. Except for him, you met Levi when you were forced to go to a club with your so-called father.

He never stopped drinking, so you just went to search for a silent corner to wait till this horror was over. But the only place that was at least a little bit calm was occupied with a dark-haired slim boy.

"Family problems?", you asked him.

"Something like that," he awnserd, and you silently walked towards and sat beside him.

"Wanna talk?,"

He shook his head for a 'No', which you totally got. You also wouldn't want to tell a literal stranger your deepest and darkest secrets, but on the other hand, letting it out would be better. It seemed like your whole life purpose was to hold the burdens of your family, no matter if you could take it or not.

"What's your name? I'm (Y/n). My siblings wanted that to be my name. It's ugly. I know,"

"Levi," he awnserd short and quietly.

"You know, my father is a lot here. It would be nice to have someone here I could spend my time with. Would you mind?",

He just blinked, which you got as a sign that he didn't care. But you weren't someone to give up just like that. Otherwise, you might have never managed to survive.

Breaking the ice was hard when it came to this boy, but after a few times of being there, he even told you that he actually liked your name and thought it was pretty. A little while after that, you caught him crying because some neighbor kids made fun of him (this was before his mother died, so he didn't know how to defend himself cause no Kenny). Those weren't new for you. They also constantly mocked you.

"Hey! Three against one? You're cowards!" After you managed to distract them from Levi, you tricked them into believing you went home when you really went to search for your friend.

You found him leaning onto a brick wall and sat beside him in silence.

"Thanks, but why did you do that?",

"Because it's OK if they make fun of me, but not if they make fun of my friends. I don't care what they do to me. I look out for you. And I know you look out for me. That's what friends are there for,"

Since that incident, nothing parted you guys. You even switched your birth necklaces to show that you were connected. But everything good must come to an end.

When his mother died, you didn't see him for weeks, so when you went to look for him, you met his uncle Kenny. You both pep him up again, and since your family didn't care about you, you decided to be with Levi since he needed someone after losing his mother.

Kenny taught you how to defend and provide for yourself, but that was it. He left you when you had learned it all.

"Even if he's gone now, we still have each other. Nothing really bad can happen to us as long as we have each other,"

It was you. Always you. You were the one who comforted him when he had to deal with shit. You were there for him to fix what society broke. And even after you allied with others, you two were the closest. No one could come in between.

That's what you thought.

After your team took Isabel in, you thought it would only become better. She even called Levi, her big brother, to his annoyance. It was like a sting right to your heart. But Isa didn't know what you both had gone through together, so you felt guilty of feeling this way. Besides her seeing him like her brother, didn't mean you were replaced! Your bond was stronger than that of siblings or lovers. Once you swore to never let anything part you, you'd never be separated, never.

Until one order changed everything.

You thought it was the Military Squad, but nope, it was the Survey Squad. You were the only one who managed to get away. But you watched from a distance how a soldier pushed Levi into a puddle of mud that had the consistency of water. Hell for him...

But when you went to go closer to hear what they were saying. You only heard Levis annoyed:"I'll join the Survey Squad."

A punch into your guts. He'd leave the underground. He'd leave you! Breaking the promise HE made you. And for joining a squad?!

You weren't someone who cried. When your whole body was covered in bruises because of a fight that didn't go as planned, no tear. Your family yelling and insulting you, no sob. But now your eyes became watery, and your vision blurry. It felt as if you were suffocated. Breathing was almost impossible.

As if the whole ground you believed to be steady and safe just tore open to devour you.

No, you wouldn't cry! Not because of him and especially not while still seeing him.

A few weeks after that, you luckily met Kenny again. It was more like he found you.

Since that scene, it was like you had to go through every trauma you experienced again, but this time on your own without someone at your side. Kenny told you of his new job at the Military Squad and that he could need a tough girl like you.

Training and years in hiding. That was your whole life from then on. With nothing on your mind, then to finally throw this damn birth necklace of him away. It was your kind of connection, your bond, after all.

Allying with the man that once left you and him. Just to tell humanitys strongest soldier one thing.

And finally, the day came. The Survey Squad decided to turn against the Military Squad. And that was your and Kenny's time.

Fighting your way to his side, just to slowly rip his birth necklace off your neck, look at him with disgust, and throw it into a mud puddle before his feet. With one word on your lips.

"Traitor"

[rivangel]

HAPPY ENDING / HURT COMFORT VERSION TO THIS!!! :)

//Eruri<3, blood, injury | 1.2k

Levi is in his sights—rather his form, so small and crumpled in the bloody mud like a kicked dog. Harder and quicker, Erwin bears down on his horse, and rides faster than he ever has in his life.

Every other squad has gathered to regroup miles away. When all Eld had to tell Erwin was that Levi volunteered to exterminate the last of the Titans in the area, Erwin wasn’t worried. He has always had faith in Levi to do his duty, and he was strong. Unfaltering, superior, ironclad.

But then, the pain. The poisonous tendrils feel as unreal as they very well are, felt seemingly under several layers of skin. If he peeled his shirt up, Erwin knows there would be no open wound; if he attempted to walk, it would be effortless despite the pain screeching down the nerves in his leg, because pains of this nature have always been Levi’s. They have shared pain and pleasure alike for a long time.

The once-beautiful meadow is a trampled, muddy battlefield. Grasses crushed, steam still lifting off the nodding flowers. Whatever happened here, every Titan is indeed gone.

Erwin comes up on Levi’s mangled form fast, and leaps off his horse with no preamble. There is nothing in this horrible world that matters except for Levi.

The two syllables of Levi’s name lose meaning very quickly. He keeps pleading. Thinking, if said just one more time then Levi will snap awake and to attention, or at least he’ll wake. He’d pretend nothing is the matter, and for once Erwin would be glad for it.

“Captain?”

On his knees, Erwin reaches out, unsure of how to touch him. The echo of pain is the worst festering in his side, but Levi is bleeding. So much blood caked thick down the side of his milky complexion, and growing on his side like a pond. He’s too pale. Reminding himself how much head wounds bleed is no comfort.

At least his chest is rising and falling, but too quick and thready. His skin is clammy to the touch.

And Levi’s wings—his equipment—is busted, his torn cloak half-laying in the grass. One of his leather belts by his side has been torn, it looks like. He clearly took an enormous fall.

“Levi Levi, Levi… Levi, I’m going to turn you over. I sent up a flare—medics are on their way.”

With a sick feeling, he realizes he’s debriefing him. Snarling a curse, Erwin turns his small, broken body onto his back, his scabbards clunking as he does so. They don’t seem broken, but Levi can’t fly with a torn belt.

Erwin feels Levi’s neck. A steady pulse.

“Levi, please… I’m begging you,” he chants.

Erwin, mind foggy from the dizzying sense of pain under his skin, begs whoever, whatever might be listening a horrible wish, and that’s for the onslaught of discomfort that raising Levi’s head will inflict will make Levi react. Despite the golden rings that hang around their necks, it’s disturbing to see Levi unconscious like this. He’s not simply asleep. Picking up his limp hand and raising the back of his head, dead weight.

But he’s relieved to find the back of his head dry.

“Love, Levi… Wake up.”

Levi groans, a soft, painful noise, his head turning at the sound of a familiar voice. His lashes flutter when his eyes open into slight slits. “Er… Erwin? S'that…”

“Yes.”

Both relief and a sharp bolt of adrenaline war inside his stomach. He could collapse on the ground right there, but instead a noise not unlike the one Levi just made falls from his parted lips.

“Don’t move your head—you’re injured.”

“Hah…?” Levi straight away makes an attempt to sit up, and then with a wet gasp, deflates again, his spine rigid.

“Stop, stop…” Erwin giggles like a madman. That’s his Levi. “Stay awake. I have to apply pressure. Are you ready?”

“Ngh… Erwin…” For the first time, Levi squeezes his hand back.

“It’s me.”

“Erwin.”

Erwin drags their linked hands to the bloody wound on Levi’s side, immediately drawing a soft whimper from him. Instinctively, Levi bows back and away. Erwin apologizes.

His jaw wobbles, and his eyes close once again. The scuffed hand Erwin hadn’t immediately seized grabs at Erwin’s cloak, like otherwise, he’d sink into the earth.

Erwin cringes too. “I know it hurts. Eyes on me, Levi, please. That’s an order—don’t fall asleep, do you hear me?”

“Uh-huh…”

Levi’s chest heaves as he blinks in a flurry, attempting to focus. Just seeing their quiet bluish grey color again puts Erwin somewhat at ease. Dull and tired now, but open.

“…Not tired… Hurts… Erwin? Blondie. It’s you…”

Erwin’s stomach flips. “I’m here. What happened, dove?”

“Fell,” he sobs, but without tears. He’s in horrible agony. “Dunno. It’s bad.”

“You fell?”

“Dunno… I did it. But I’m sorry that I…”

“No no, this is nothing but a setback. Don’t apologize.“

“Got hurt. I’m an idiot.”

His heart plummets. Between them, the bleeding hasn’t ceased. Blood—Levi’s blood—paints his palm, causing Erwin to think fast. Levi has a concussion, a bleeding wound, and the last time a flare went up was still a few miles from where the field medics are desperately needed. Given they’re riding at full speed and they have no interruptions because of Levi’s clearing the area, it’ll be at least twenty minutes. Perhaps a little less, but Erwin prefers to plan for the worst.

Erwin lays Levi’s hand back now and sits up. With a snap, he unclasps his own cloak.

“Don’t leave, don’t gggo,” Levi chants under his breath. “Don-Don’t leave me. I’ll get it—next time I’ll get it right—”

“No. Shhh… Hold my hand. Look at me.”

He moans. Erwin can barely hear himself over his own heart. Tears involuntarily prick his eyes at the sound of Levi’s suffering and delirious begging.

“Look at me, Levi.”

The authority in his voice makes Levi’s eyes open and locked on his, as glazed and tired as they look. A bead of sweat is visible on his temple. At least the blood on his head has dried.

“That’s it. Very good.”

Erwin brushes aside Levi’s cloak, the torn buckle making it easier to loosen his ruined cravat, access his shirt, and unbutton it, leaving his thin undershirt. He needs to stop the bleeding. He doesn’t take his eyes off him for a second.

But peeling his top shirt off the injury undoes much of the clotting. Fresh blood trickles down Levi’s side. It’s a severe gash.

In a flash, Erwin has the shirt neatly folded in a square. He places it upon the wound site.

“Lift your back and hold it. Just a moment.”

With a pained grunt, he obeys.

“Perfect. You’re perfect.”

Erwin ties his cloak to hold in place the shoddy “bandage” as his own side pounds. “Can you walk?”

Levi’s eyes are still open, but watches in heavy, blank silence. “I’m useless in this state.”

That surprises Erwin, who somehow hadn’t been expecting that answer. He supposes, just like how they never display their most intimate relationship outside the Walls, Levi doesn’t admit to weakness.

“You are not.” Erwin leans up, scooping his arms under Levi’s knees and back. “Hold onto me.”

“You’re gonna die f’you stay,” he whispers, obeying. "Can’t even…”

Don’t speak nonsense and waste your energy,” Erwin orders, and lifts him into his arms with no preamble.

Erwin will retrieve his horse, meet the medics halfway, and come nighttime, Levi will be safe and sound under his watch. Insisting he’s fine. His heart will beat on, next to his own.

eruri masterlist | main masterlist

[randomficrecss]

Eruri fic rec <3

Part 1

ugh they are so perfect, this is one of my most fav ships ever!!

these are gonna be all longer fics like 90K+ words but i’ll definitely post another part with shorter ones!

The Blue by bowowline

E | 176.1K | 14/14 | Hitman Levi, AU modern setting, Slowburn, Smut

“Look, kid. Don’t listen to what Uri says, you hear?” Kenny combs his hair with his hand, although there’s not a single strand out of place. “Don’t ever listen to him. You only have one kinda people you have to listen to. You know that, yes? Who do you listen to? Tell me,” he orders, kind of frantic.

“I only listen to the Family,” Levi says absently.

As a child, Levi refused to finish a job. He has not made one blunder after that. Twenty years later, fate catches up to him again.

Birds of Paradise by obiwhat12

No rating (check tags) | 94.9K | 14/14 | Hurt/Comfort, Sick Levi, Domestic Fluff, PTSD

On an expedition gone awry, Erwin and Levi find themselves stranded in the forest, fighting for their lives. They are graced with no other option except to put their faith in one another, despite their vast differences.

Under the same bright stars, they discover a new kind of consolation in each other that neither has known before.

In These Fallen Leaves by masksarehot

E | 210.2K | 32/32 | Temporary Character Death, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Smut

[Post-Basement canon-divergent AU] Ten years after the end of the war, Levi, still heartbroken over Erwin's death, is living out a quiet existence with a few Survey Corps survivors. But signs are beginning to surface that Erwin is not truly dead, and they're getting too vivid to ignore...

This fic explores (canon-divergent) choices that the survivors made after Erwin's death and their consequences for the world. It's also about healing, and Erwin and Levi learning to put words to things that have always been unspoken between them. And beneath it all are the paths, whispering to them that the fate of Paradis still rests upon their shoulders...

Corps-à-Corps by onthearrow (loved this one)

E | 223.6K | 25/25 | AU fencing, Slowburn, Smut

Meeting people in New York City is hard. When Erwin’s last good friend moves away for greener pastures, he joins the local fencing club in his Upper East Side neighborhood in hopes of rekindling both an old hobby, and his wilting social life.

-OR-

The newest member of Levi's fencing club has it all it all-- money, a highly successful career, overbearingly good looks. Levi doesn't have any of that. But he sure as hell wants Erwin Smith anyway.

The Means by calacreda

E | 130.2K | 16/16 | Post-ACWNR, Pre-AOT, Prostitution, Slowburn

'He hears him say “Do not tell a soul, Levi” and wants to laugh. Tell anyone? To what end? So that others have the images that Levi now has running through his head; of grabbing hands and harness marks, hard words and soft lips, of lies upon lies upon lies in a desperate attempt to get to the truth?'

Levi begins to notice Erwin leaving HQ alone and not returning until the dead of night.

Slow-burn, pre-show Eruri.

He Chose Titans by masksarehot

E | 486.1K | 43/43 | Semi-Canon Prequel, Truama, Fluff, Smut

Erwin swore he would never again be distracted from his fight against the titans, but when an unexpected bond begins to form with Levi, he must decide whether he will follow his heart or his head.

Mail Order Spy by 35g (Jaackdaw)

M | 230K | 24/24 | Slowburn, Espionage, PTSD, Fake/Pretend Relationship

2091. Titans are no longer the frail oddities they once were. They're changing, growing. Governments aren’t changing with them. The International Military Police is tightening their leash. Erwin Smith orders a spy.

Dresden by hedera_helix (one of my all time favs)

M | 334.4K | 26/26 | AU, Historial, WWII

When Levi acquired his false identification he knew that the key to survival would be to stay unnoticed and to contain the bitterness and anger he feels inside himself. As the tides of war start to turn against Germany, however, Levi finds himself in a position to make a choice.

CODA by crownlessk_ing

M | 222.2K | 27/27 | AU 80’s, Musicians, Canon Disabled Character, Period-Typical Homophobia, War Flashbacks

France, 1986 - The last time Erwin was in Paris, he had it all. Youth, love, success, and his place in some of the most prestigious orchestras of the world. His cello had been his faithful companion through it all, and many said Erwin was the most talented cellist of his time. With such a bright future, it was easy to pretend everything was perfect.

But a lot had changed in ten years.

Now, all he had left were ghosts in his shadows, blurred memories of what used to be, and a body broken beyond repair.

He hoped going back to where it all started would be enough to recover what he’d lost: his ability to hold a cello, to feel, to love. He’d been wrong so far. But there may be another soul just as broken as his, someone who was also wandering in search of their own missing pieces.

Final Tour by gouguruheddo

M | 131.9K | 22/22 | Friends to lovers, PTSD, Modern America, Mid-Life Crisis, grief/Mourning, Trust Issues, Hurt/Comfort

It's been twenty years in the army, and Levi is finally home--retired, bored, directionless. The world has moved on without him, including his friend Erwin. He struggles to learn to adjust, to deal with his nightmares, to flourish in a world he's never understood, only to find that Erwin is dealing with the same thing.

Pledge by EllaBesmirched (El_Bell)

E | 123.9K | 15/15 | AU college, Frat Boy Erwin, ex-thug Levi, Slowburn, Light Hazing,

Levi is not in a fucking frat.

The Laws of Survival by pasiphile

E | 120.8K | 7/7 | Slowburn, Dom/Sub Undertones, PTSD, Non-binary Hange

His friends are dead, and now he’s trapped in a world where he has no voice, no control, and no one on his side except for the bastard who forced him to join in the first place.

Trust doesn’t just grow in one day.

Vespers by Valisi (series)

E | 109.5K | 12 Works | read tags

A series of stories detailing Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman's private life together. Pieces can be read individually or as a whole.

Some pieces will reference things that have happened in past parts of the story, but it's nothing so major that you'll feel left out.

[aruxani]

Hi everyone!

I'm Ally, also known as aruxani on ao3! I mostly write about aruani but I'm considering giving other ships a chance (at least at a oneshot)

I'm also a huge Swiftie and a firm believer that Armin and Annie are as well.

My ships include:

Aruani, Eremika, Hitlowe, Eruri, Yumihisu, Reibert

Works:

📜Snow on the Beach

-Longfic (completed)

- High school au

- Golden child (clearly the favorite)

-Very Midnights coded

-First person POV (I've changed since then, I swear...)

📜Here it's safe, here it's warm

-Oneshot

-They have children omg

-Heavily inspired by the ending of Mockingjay

-Canon verse, post-rumbling

-Very proud of this one

📜Dream of some epiphany

-Oneshot

-Everlark coded

-Ohmygoshtheyreonaboat

-Angsty

📜Wanna be end game

-Oneshot

-Enemies to lovers (to enemies?)

-Royalty AU

📜Everything has changed

-Oneshot

-Childhood

-Summer camp AU

📜What a ghostly scene

-Oneshot

-Inspired by the hunger games

-Armin in Liberio

📜Foolish One

-Oneshot

-Armin is a police officer

-Annie is a criminal (apparently)

-Enemies to lovers

-Wrote the ending after watching Grey's Anatomy

📜Between me, the sand and the sea

-Oneshot

-Aruani's children

-Lots of fluff

-Canon verse, post rumbling

📜Haunted

-Longfic (completed)

-...its on wattpad

-I like to pretend it doesn't exist

-Probably gonna rush the ending

-Everlark coded but at what cost?

📜 Colored Skies and Cotton ties

-Oneshot

-Valentines day special

-Modern au

-Same universe as SOTB

📜 If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy?

- Oneshot

- sickfic

-Annie's birthday fic

-hurt/comfort

-modern au

📜 Where the Spirit meets the Bones

- ongoing fic

- Pure angst

- modern au

- Armin is dead so...

And hopefully more to come!! (will eventually add the links, my phone is dying)

If there is anything else you want to know, ask away!

[shippingeruri]

Very excited to share the fic I wrote for the Eruri Writers Fundraising eSims for Gaza event!

My prompt was "post-war Erwin and Levi living together with a focus on hurt/comfort and old men yaoi <3" I hope you enjoy the result!

A Love Story

[eruri-brainrot]

Chapter 1 of Eruri Lighthouse keepers fic is up! :)

Part: 1/?

Words: 3.7k

Rating: M

Tags: Lighthouse Keepers AU, post ww2, slow burn, pining, hurt/comfort, getting together

Summary:

Sometimes, as the winds of Narragansett Bay whip at his cold-flushed face and aching hands, Levi wonders how life has led him here. Here: atop four winding flights of stairs, seventy-three feet in the air, polishing a fifty year old light bulb several times larger than his head.

His predecessor had complained about the loneliness while showing him around the place. Told him it makes you go mad. Levi doesn’t mind it though. In fact, he finds the isolation oddly comforting. In the middle of the ocean there are no generals or foremen screaming at him to get back to work. There are no sly insults on his stature, or reprimands regarding his attitude. Atop Whale Rock there is only steel, stone, and the occasional seabird cawing overheard.

[obiwhat]

CAN I JUST SAY i’m soooooo in love with all of your fics. besides EVERYTHING i could say about the perfect characterization and how sweet erwin and levi are always written, ur style is so distinct and easy to get sucked into. maybe i’m biased bc hurt comfort is my fav thing ever but i just adore your fics. i think i’d had ‘appearances’ and ‘fix you’ bookmarked for years and then i found ‘rice porridge’ and i’ve been binging everything else since. (i hope u don’t mind a long ask lol i just rly needed to say)

as far as i saw, your requests are open, so can i request an eruri in canonverse in which erwin has just become commander, so he has a very very heavy workload. he promoted levi to his captain almost as soon as he had the power to lol, and so their relationship is new and levi has been working wayyyy too much (as usual) to help erwin. so he’s been forgetting to eat a lot.

(for context, levi is so used to feeling hunger pains from his time underground that he doesn’t really notice the signs, and he disregards his own health anyway).

erwin has been working so much he’s barely noticed. but then levi passes out in front of him or something like that? hurt comfort follows<3 even if u choose not to answer, thank u for all ur beautiful fics

helloooooo my lovely anon!!! <33 hope ur doing well!! thank u SO much for ur kind words, you made my whole month hehe

hope u enjoy what i whipped up for ya~

Catch Me When I Fall

warnings: eating issues (aka levi works too hard and forgets food is a thing)

Levi’s face was a bit hollow. His cheekbones; even more defined than usual. Of course, if Erwin had ready access to a mirror, he’d probably find the same appearance on his own face.

They were all tired. If he showed favoritism for his captain it would only serve to delegitimize his freshly earned position. However, he told himself that he would check in with Levi the next time they had privacy.

Although, the likelihood of that being any time soon was certainly dwindling.

Miche rushed in with another pile of notes, he mumbled something about them needing extra eyes on the field— a necessity he directed to Levi. But Levi seemed to hesitate, in fact, he hadn’t moved since Miche came into Erwin's office. Miche had to tap him on the shoulder before he blinked heavily and started towards the door.

Miche gave Erwin a look as Levi left, to which Erwin replied with a shrug. He got to work glancing through his growing pile of papers, threatening to topple off his desk.

—

The yard was cold. No, it was freezing. But Levi had hardly been outside ten minutes before he untied his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt. Levi was hot. He didn’t even care if the cadets gave him weird looks where he stood, pinned to the brick of the training yard walls. In fact, they should’ve been more focused on their drills. He should’ve yelled at them by now.

But he wasn't all the way there. The yard seemed to sizzle and blur underneath the beat of the cold winter sun, and if words wished to spring from Levi’s lips he knew he’d have to rack them right out of his chest. It was all far too much effort.

Another sharp pang shot through him. On the surface, of course, he hardly blinked. But inside, he felt like he might get sick. It had been happening again lately— those pangs, the dizzy spells, the nausea. Like he was that same sickly little kid again. It was just the stress of his new position, he knew that. That was the only explanation. He was just stressed.

But so was Erwin. And he’d be damned if he let Erwin think he couldn’t keep up. The man had curated a position especially for him, how could he spit in the face of that kind of honor? Levi had never been this high up before. To live above ground, to have a roof over his head, running fucking water too? He should’ve been grateful, not reeling with a sickly feeling in his gut.

Weakness was not expected of him, so he would keep it that way. He would fight through it, just as he did every time before. He’d keel over before he asked for a break.

With that in mind, he called out to his cadet group, leading them back into focus.

—

It wasn’t until hours after dinner that Erwin saw Levi again. Truth be told, he hadn’t even noticed the time pass by. Levi seemed to slip through his door, without a sound or word. It was a common occurance and for whatever reason Erwin felt comfort in the familiarity of it.

He felt Levi approached his desk slowly as Erwin continued to annotate.

“There’s the… uh—” Levi’s voice wavered for a moment, as if he were struggling to remember his next few words. He quickly tried again, “—the equipment supply report. We’re especially low on fuel. As per usual.”

“Excellent,” Erwin replied, although it was anything but. He scribbled down a reminder to mention this in his pitch to central command in the coming week.

Levi was still standing in front of his desk, a cue that Erwin had clearly missed for a few passing moments. “Levi, is there anything else you’d like to add to your report?”

“No.” Erwin could hear Levi clear his throat again. This finally got him to look up from his work. “Uh, no. Nothing else.”

Erwin’s brow pinched together. Was Levi swaying?

“Are you alright?”

Levi nodded shakenly but then frowned as if he were thinking rather pensively about something. Erwin did not recognize this look on his captain’s face. It was almost as if he were confused.

Then Levi huffed a humorless scoff, “It’s strange… There’s uh… there's two of you.”

Before Erwin’s brow could even begin to lift, Levi’s palms met his wooden desk with a bang. His eyes fluttered, then rolled back— his body going slack. Erwin was up in an instant, throwing his arms around Levi and wrapping him in his clutches as they fell together to the wooden floor.

“Levi!” His partner’s head was lolling listlessly in his arms, he was clearly struggling to grasp his situation still.

“Erwin… What’s…?”

“Shh… Levi. You’re alright. I have you now.” Erwin settled him to lay a bit more horizontal, so he’d be comfortable.

“I don’t… I don’t feel very well.”

Erwin huffed, “Yes. I can see that now, my dove. Is this better? Just lay out for me and breathe. Can you do that?”

“Mm,” Levi murmured, breathing through his nose and closing his rolling eyes.

Just then Hanji came bouncing into the room, slamming the door open. “Erwin! I finally finished–” Their eyes trailed around before settling on Erwin who looked at them with a terrified expression. “Oh shit.”

Their expression fell flat and serious as they kneeled next to their commander and his captain. “What happened? Is he alright?”

Erwin was pulled from his haze of anxiety and carefully placed a hand on Levi’s forehead. “A little clammy. I don’t think he’s unwell. He just… He fainted.”

“He’s skinny, isn’t he? Too skinny, Erwin. Shit, I didn’t even notice until…”

“Help me lift him.” Erwin felt like screaming. He felt like he might scream until his lungs burned to ash. “Help me, Hanji.”

—

Everything felt light when his eyes finally peeled open again. Just before shame and guilt could pool in his stomach from the reality of the situation he was in, Levi felt a sort of lightness. His head didn’t ache as badly but his body felt without use. Like if he lifted his hand he might just break away into pieces all together.

When Levi’s cool eyes settled on Erwin, he wished that he could break away. His commander was asleep, draped across Levi’s chest with a hand wrapped around his in a tight grasp, as if Erwin was willing him to stay even as he slept. Maybe especially while he slept.

He must’ve been exhausted. Levi felt a sinking feeling once he realized this exhaustion was partially his doing. How long had Erwin stayed by his side in the infirmary, waiting for him to wake, before eventually passing out like this? It had felt like a long dream. A deep sleep. And Erwin had surely been awake while Levi agonized him with his absence.

Levi involuntarily gave Erwin’s hand a tight squeeze. Maybe it was an apology of some kind.

“Lee…” Erwin whispered, or more so mumbled into the fabric of Levi’s hospital gown. His head turned and his sleepy eyes blinked, once then twice.

“I’m here.”

“Levi?” Erwin repeated himself, this time more clearly and with wide eyes full of instant relief.

“I’m sorry, Erwin.”

Erwin sat up straight, his hand relinquishing Levi’s grasp.

“You’ve been asleep two whole days. Unless I’ve just slept away another day with you.”

Levi nodded, noticing how Erwin let his apology roll right off his shoulders. As if he didn’t wish to hear it.

“You’re on strict IV fluids but when you feel up for it, the nurse will bring you a bit of bread, alright?”

“Erwin—” Levi released a sigh as he spoke, but Erwin was quick to cut him off.

“No,” Erwin seemed to rein in his irritation, as if now was not the time for it. “No, Levi. I won’t hear objections. Not now. Not after what happened in my office.”

Levi closed his pale, cracked lips. Erwin fiddled with his hands.

“You didn’t tell me you weren’t well. I could’ve done something. I mean—.”

“That’s not your fault. I… Erwin, I've never been good about remembering… this kind of thing. It slipped my mind.”

“You’re malnourished. Anemic. You lost consciousness, Levi.” His voice was near a whisper once he spoke again. “Two days.”

“And what does that have to do with you?”

Erwin may have his emotions sealed away but Levi was not keen to follow suit.

“I fucked up okay? I was pushing myself and eating right just fucking slipped my mind, what do you want me to say?”

“I’m your commander now, Levi. Your life is in my hands. I was overworking you. I was.”

“As self centered as that is, Erwin, I am my own person and when I make a mistake it’s on me,” he bit into the last word with bitterness. “This happens from time to time. I’m not good with… reading myself. Knowing what I need. Until I’m at a breaking point.”

“Like your body is in survival mode, all the time.”

Levi nodded weakly.

“I see,” Erwin sighed, putting his hand through his hair as they sat in the quiet for a long beat. “No matter what the reason, there had to be one for you to not tell me right then, before you passed out. Can you please just tell me that?”

Levi felt his very muscles tense.

“I’ve always been this way. I don’t want you to take it personally. I’ve been on my own so long, I’ve been down so long… I don’t know how to lean on someone. Especially when I’m not even sure what’s wrong.”

Something painful to witness pooled in Erwin’s gaze. He was hurt by this. In a way that Levi had never seen. In a way that Levi didn’t think was even possible.

If there was at least one thing Levi was certain of, he didn’t want Erwin to ever feel this pain again.

“But I’m willing to learn,” he whispered, hesitating as he pulled Erwin’s warm hand into his own again. “If you’re willing to teach me.”

[pancake-breakfast]

[20 Question Fic Writer Game]

Shamelessly stolen after I saw @needle-noggins did this....

How many works do you have on AO3? 39, but that's deceptive because two of them are alternate endings to two others and 31 of them are 100-word drabbles.

What is your AO3 word count? 51,620

What fandoms do you write for? Primarily Attack on Titan (mostly Eruri), but also Jujutsu Kaisen (mostly Satosugu), Given, Sk8 (Matchablossom), the occasional Chainsaw Man (AkiAngel), and a handful of others

What are your top five fics by kudos? What You Want (Eruri), What You Want: Reflection (companion piece to What You Want), Balanced within the Ring (AkiAngel drabble), It Keeps Away the Bad Touch (AkiAngel drabble), No Accounting for Taste (Satosugu drabble)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Sure, as long as I think the comment was made in good faith. I want people to know their comments were seen and appreciated, and sometimes I want to rant a bit about my writing process.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmm.... Probably A Slip of the Heart (Orufrey), but don't read it unless you're up to Chapter 40 in Tongari Boushi no Atelier/Witch Hat Atelier, as it has some MAJOR spoilers.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? This depends a bit on what one feels qualifies as a happy ending. I think I have more funny endings than actual happy ones (and more angst than funny ones). Maybe A Rewarding Meal (Matchablossom) or No Accounting for Taste (Satosugu)?

Do you get hate on fics? Oh, I'm not NEARLY popular enough for that.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have written smut, and I might again in the future, but it's not really my thing. If I'm gonna write it, it's probably gonna be some sort of yaoi hurt/comfort.

Do you write crossovers? Not really, though I do have an idea for a Promare crossover series with... um... everything, really.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Alas, no. Though I might try translating some of my fics on my own for funsies.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Yes, but nothing that's posted on AO3.

What's your all-time favourite ship? Yeah, there's a reason my longest project is Eruri.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? It's a Satosugu one that's a bunch of unsent emails from Geto to Gojo.

What are your writing strengths? Uhhhh... I feel like this is a question best asked of those who've read my fics.

What are your writing weaknesses? I get very caught up on things being as canon compliant as I can make them. Also, I like starting my sentences with conjunctions.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I mean, why not? But it's a good idea to get someone with fluency in that language to double-check it for you. Buuuuut don't let bad grammar in a foreign language stop you from writing what you want to write. If you're writing it for formal publishing, your agent/editor/publisher will help you clean it up. If you're writing for informal publishing... well, have you seen the spelling/grammar/syntax people use in their native tongues? Seriously, just go for it. Maybe be prepared to take some flack from native speakers, though.

First fandom you wrote for? Ooh, gonna show my age here. Transformers/Beast Wars.

Favourite fic you've ever written? Definitely the What You Want series, but specifically the epilogue, Memories and Promises, which can be read without reading any of the rest of the series.

Tagging @revenantghost, @nepentheisms, @iwritenarrativesandstuff, and anyone else who'd like to steal it from me the way I stole it from someone else.