#ermmm should i tag this as anything

[sixoclocker]

how i be feeling when my back hurts

[bugsmoocher]

mmaster hcief

[sensitively-taken]

what's with your kisses? — park sunghoon

synopsis. Park Sunghoon has never had much time or even a slight care for dating, romance, love, or anything of that sort. so, when you kiss him at a rowdy party one night, as his first kiss ever, he’s surprised to find that he wants more. what he thought was going to be a one-time thing, he finds evolving into something he never wants to end—even if you two aren’t meant to be more than a summer fling.

pairing. park sunghoon x gender-neutral!reader ft. jake sim

genres. fluff, strangers to lovers au, summer (fling) au

warnings. underage drinking & all that implies! please let me know if i've missed any :)

word count. 10.7k (10737)

taglist. @soobin-chois @my5colors @kflixnet @jaeyunverse @heejojo @tbzloonar @odxrilove @aizzon

listen to! strangers, sigrid ⭑ i'll be down, talia goddess ⭑ lovestained, hope tala ⭑ yuck, charli xcx ⭑ feature me, flo ⭑ summer's over, tv girl ft. jordana ⭑ yellow cab, dpr live (click on the listen to for the spotify playlist, which i recommend listening to unshuffled)

notes. ermmm..... after more than a year and (almost) radio silence on this blog, here she is!! i'm rlly sorry ab how long it took for me to post this (esp when it was sitting in my drafts for a whole year..) 😭😭 but SHE'S HERE and that's all that matters!! since this was originally an entry for @/prettywon's soul symphonies collab, this song is based on yellow cab by dpr live, as you can probably tell by the title & playlist. i was rlly trying to reflect that boyish infatuation he's singing ab so if u cringe a bit i understand 😪 i did too tysm lola @ijhyo for beta reading this for me! (pls pardon me for tagging u a few hours late 🙏🏾) but enough rambling from me!! enjoy! ❤️

I – K is for Kiss

There was no such thing as the perfect first kiss.

Park Sunghoon, a nineteen-year-old boy who’d never been kissed, had accepted this fact long ago. A lucky few got to have their first kiss with their first love or a longtime crush, while a lot more people had embarrassing stories they’d share on drunken nights. He knew a first kiss wasn’t something out of a fairytale. But, he felt that, at the very least, he should have an adequate first kiss–preferably with someone he had some sort of feelings for.

So, he’d never predicted that he’d end up losing his lip virginity to a stranger at the summer party his best friend, Jake, was throwing.

Or that he’d like it. (Sunghoon wasn’t sure he could even admit that.)

He could admit this though: you were a good kisser. A very, very good kisser–at least, according to his standards. Even he–the nineteen-year-old who’d never even held hands with someone, let alone kissed someone–was able to realise you’d done this a dozen times before when you cupped his cheek–not aggressively, but softly, gently–whispered the question in his ear, and pulled him into a chaste, soft kiss as soon as he’d nodded awkwardly.

Then, moving your hand from his cheek to his neck and smirking slightly, you deepened the kiss.

That’s when he started wondering why he’d never done this before.

You didn’t move too fast, or too slow. It was almost like you knew exactly what he was thinking, what he was feeling, because the second it would start feeling a bit too much for him and his head would start swimming, you would pull back and rest your forehead against his. But, when he started missing the feel of your lips on his, your eyes would flicker to his, the question on the tip of your tongue, and lean in again.

He would never say it out loud, not to you or anyone else, but he was glad you’d taken the lead. Because with the way his hands were trembling to wrap themselves around your waist, and how he’d avoid your gaze every time you pulled back, he wasn’t so sure you two would’ve even been here if you’d left the initiating to him.

All of a sudden, you pulled back–the first time you didn’t do what he wanted–and Sunghoon chased your lips for a bit, cheeks reddening when he realised you weren’t leaning back in.

He stepped back, which was hard to do in a cramped shed but he managed and cleared his throat. Suddenly, he was very interested in inspecting the design of said shed. “Um… is something wrong? Did I, I don’t know, did I do something wrong?”

“No,” you smiled coyly and licked your lips (Sunghoon’s eyes may have flickered back up in time to catch the moment and linger on it), “the seven minutes are up.”

Oh. Right. That–a very silly round of seven minutes in heaven–was how he’d got here. Stuck in a shed. Kissing a complete, random stranger. Y’know, the daily, run-of-the-mill stuff for Sunghoon.

He nodded slowly, flicking away the few dark hairs that fell in front of his eyes. “Right, right. After you.”

“After you?” You laughed, a warm sound he found himself melting to (on the inside. On the outside, he was biting his lip so hard he could taste your chapstick on his tongue), “This whole time you haven’t done anything, but now you want to be a gentleman?”

His face reddened and he crossed his arms over his chest. “No one said gentlemen have to be good at kissing!”

“You do have a point, kind sir.” He rolled his eyes at your jab. “I’d just think it’d be much more gentlemanly of you to look me in the eyes, instead of, dunno, glaring at my lips.”

At this rate, Sunghoon was sure someone’s face couldn’t be as red as his was.

He made a point to look into your eyes for a good ten seconds, breath held, before looking at his flip flops and murmuring, “I wasn’t glaring… I think. Like, I’m not mad at your lips or anything.”

You laughed again, a deeper sound he was sure came from the depths of your heart, and with a small grin on his face, Sunghoon decided he liked the sound.

“I wasn’t saying you were mad.” You stepped closer to him and Sunghoon’s breath hitched. You reached out to him, and for a second Sunghoon thought you were going to cup his face and kiss him again–he wanted you to–but then you reached up and smoothed his eyebrows and the space between them. “Just relax these big boys a bit. They can get a day off glaring, don’t you think, cutie?”

You didn’t wait for a reply. Instead, you smiled and reached behind Sunghoon for the shed door, stepping out to hear a chorus of cheers from some other partygoers and leaving the boy dumbfounded and red.

It was only when Sunghoon moved to leave the shed that he realised he’d never caught your name.

II – I is for Infatuation

Sunghoon was not thinking about the kiss. Well. Kisses.

At least, that was what he toldhimself.

But, ever since he’d woken up at Jake’s place the morning after, with a head so heavy he wasn’t sure he could even lift it, it was the only thing on his mind.

First thing in the morning, when he couldn’t even remember what his name was, he thought about it. Late at night, hours past when he’d told himself he’d go to sleep, he thought about it. Even in his dreams, he couldn’t get the thought of you and your stupid lips out of his head. (Jake had called him obsessed, but he preferred to think of it as a little infatuation.)

He was sure he was going insane when he saw someone perusing the chapstick section in the grocery store and immediately thought of you, only for him to find out it was you when your hands landed on the same pack.

Sunghoon drew his hand back like he was stung, while you simply took the balm and murmured an apology without sparing him a glance.

He wasn’t sure whether to breathe a sigh of relief or disappointment. On one hand, it was you–the only person in the entire world who’d kissed Park Sunghoon on his very chapped, very dry lips (which was the reason he told himself he was in the lip balm section in the first place and not because he couldn’t get your lips out of his head). On the other hand, it was you–the only person in the entire world who’d kissed Park Sunghoon on his very chapped, very dry lips.

Sunghoon didn’t have much time to think about it though, because you suddenly looked back and raised your eyebrows at him.

He bit his lip in anticipation of what you were going to say, but he could’ve never imagined you’d say, “Nice jammies, cutie.”

Sunghoon was beginning to think you had a thing for embarrassing him, as his cheeks turned the shade of some of the chapsticks on display. He rubbed at the nape of his neck, murmuring, “Thanks, my grandma crocheted them for me.”

“Really?” Your eyes shone with actual interest, and Sunghoon’s blush spread across his cheeks. “Do you think you could send me her number or something? I’ve been trying to get the hang of crocheting recently, but it’s just not been working.”

“I would, totally, a hundred percent, but I don’t have your number yet, so…” He went silent, as he realised what he’d said and your eyebrows climbed further up your head.

Sunghoon wished the ground would open up. Pronto.

“Wow, cutie, I have to say, I’m kinda impressed.” You stretched out your hand, which made Sunghoon’s brows furrow, until you gestured for the phone in his pyjama pocket. “I never thought you’d be the type of gentleman to muster up the balls to ask for my number, but here we are.”

He groaned as he passed you his phone, a slight flush to his face. “Could we not rehash the whole gentleman bit? That was kinda embarrassing for me.”

“What?” You grinned, eyes flickering between his phone screen and him. “Do you mean the part where you didn’t know how to kiss back or the part where you stared at my lips the whole time after, cutie?”

If Sunghoon wasn’t sure before, he definitely was now. You had a thing for embarrassing him–and calling him cutie. He’d never admit it, but he was finding that he didn’t really seem to mind either.

He avoided your gaze and toyed with the hem of his sweater, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Um, both?”

“’ Kay, got it.” You passed his phone back to him and watched him redden at what you’d saved yourself as.

“Couldn’t your name have sufficed? Why did you—” he groaned and buried his face behind his hands, his voice coming through as muffled— “Why did you have to save yourself as ‘seven minutes hottie?’ Isn’t that too conceited of you... and corny?”

You shrugged. “It’s not wrong, is it?”

Even though you couldn’t see his face redden, he figured you’d imagined it as you let out a small snort. “What? Are you gonna tell me I’m not hot?”

“... No,” came his reluctant reply, as he finally removed his hands from his face and went to change your contact name to your actual name, only to remember he’d never got it. “Ah, wait, what’s your name?”

“My name?” You hummed quietly, like you were considering something, and Sunghoon felt a certain type of anticipation grow in his stomach. “If I tell you my name, do I get a kiss, cutie?”

He scoffed, though he could still feel some blood rush to his cheeks. You were really something. “I thought you said I was a bad kisser.”

“Uh-uh,” you corrected, leaning in slowly, “I said you don’t know how to kiss. But, once you do, well… who knows?”

For the second time in a week, Sunghoon felt the distance between you two close and desperately wished you were going to kiss him. Yes, he was in a grocery store and yes, anyone could walk past at any moment, but when you leaned in so close to him–with your soft lips pursed and your eyes staring into his soul–he couldn’t help but fall victim to the pull you had on him. He was weak–so weak–to you.

But, just like before, you didn’t.

You simply brushed his bed hair out of his face and snorted a bit at his spaced-out expression, before stepping back into a space where Sunghoon could finally breathe and think of something else other than your lips on his.

“Yeah,” he murmured, so low that you had to lean back in to hear him.

Sunghoon had always thought of himself as a reasonable, patient person. He knew if he wanted quality things in his life, he’d have to get used to waiting often–at least, that’s what his parents had taught him. But, every time you came into his orbit, his usually thick line of patience wore thin with a simple glance or smile from you.

What were you doing to him?

“Sorry,” your tongue flicked back over your lips, “what was that?”

His line snapped.

“Yeah, you do get a kiss.”

And the words were gone before he could take them back. But, blood rushing in his ears and heart pounding out of his chest, Sunghoon found he didn’t want to take them back–even though, in the back of his mind, part of him was blushing and squirming at his wording.

“Oh?” you said, looking straight into his eyes–unwavering, for once. A certain tension filled the air, as you two stared at each other for a moment, the night of the party probably replaying in both your heads. Careful not to disturb the atmosphere between you two, you whispered, “_____. My name’s _____.”

The tension wasn’t cut, but simply deflated like a balloon as Sunghoon let out a long breath, cheeks painted a dark red, and asked, “But not here, right? I’m not saying we’re doing anything too scandalous, but my mum’s good friends with the manager here, so… Yeah. I kinda, um–maybe I, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

There was a moment of silence, as you stared incredulously at the blushing boy, before you burst out into full-fledged laughter. You hugged your sides a bit and smiled so wide that any passerby would’ve thought Sunghoon was a comedic genius.

Before he could get the wrong idea, you cupped Sunghoon’s face and said, “You’re just too cute, cutie.”

And he smiled a little, slowly as his eyes traced your face, his brows finally relaxed.

You wiped an imaginary tear from your eye, sobering up, and asked, “So. Where's your car?”

III – S is for Scrapbook

You and Sunghoon had ended up kissing in his car.

When he’d told Jake about it later, he’d said you guys had made out–to embarrass Sunghoon, he assumed–but the kisses had been soft and chaste, where you’d been more focused on getting Sunghoon to reciprocate than just kissing him. He had, albeit slowly, and by the time he’d dropped you off at your house, he was able to proudly say that he had initiated a kiss between you two.

It had built his confidence incredibly, being able to say that he’d kissed you and not the other way around–not that he was saying it to anyone, besides Jake really–so much so that he’d texted you just a few minutes after he’d gotten home. He’d panicked then, wondering if you’d think it weird he’d texted you so quickly, but you’d responded just as fast that his nerves had calmed and he’d found himself laughing at your texts.

While talking to you face to face was something he didn’t think he’d ever get used to, texting you was something he could do with ease–well, somewhat.

In the late afternoons, when he woke up with messy bed hair and mucus still in his eyes, he’d check his phone to see if you’d sent anything–which you almost always had. Whether it was a quick picture of something you'd seen on a walk, your poor attempts at making breakfast, or even just a morning selfie.

On some days, he’d feel too flustered and musty to send anything in return–Like, what if you realised he was wearing the same shirt he’d sent a picture in yesterday?—and on others, he had to shut off his phone to take deep breaths after sending something as simple as him brushing his teeth.

Okay, so he was still struggling to talk to you, but at least he didn’t stutter over text and go red every few seconds.

With his awkwardness out of the way, he could actually learn things about you. Like your favourite colour, your favourite spots in town, and your hobbies. He even learned you liked to scrapbook and every summer, you’d make a scrapbook of all your highlights. Polaroids, film stills, movie tickets, coupons, and more would go into the scrapbook and at the end of summer, you’d post little snippets on it on your Instagram page. He’d told you it was cute and jokingly asked if he’d be featured in this summer’s scrapbook, to which you’d responded with ‘we’d have to go out for u to be included wouldnt we?’

Which is what led to this moment. He had thought you were joking about the whole going out thing because it’d been late at night and you two had just been talking about the trips you’d been going on with your families in the next couple of days, but then the next morning–that morning–you’d sent two tickets to a film showing that evening–this evening. Right now–and a short, little ‘wanna go see this? my scrapbook’s feeling a little hoon-less rn :(’.

Evidently, he hadn’t said no, because he was now parked outside your house, trying to calm himself down as he waited for you to come out.

His hands were sweating a bit, and he kept checking his reflection in his rearview mirror, anxiously biting his lower lip and running a hand through his hair. Surprisingly, it wasn’t even the fact that he was going to see you that was stressing him out, it was more the fact that he didn’t know what this was. Were you guys just going out to see a late-night movie as friends? Was it a date? Should he have shown up with flowers or a gift? Were you guys just friends? Were you something more? Did you always ask your friends to see movies late at night so impromptu? Did he even see you as more than a friend?

All the questions made his head swim and his palms sweat, but he couldn’t stop thinking about them. He hadn’t been thinking of this the few weeks you guys had been texting, but now he felt like a broken record, gaze bouncing between his reflection and your house.

And then all his thoughts slowed to a stop.

You walked out of your house with a slight smile and a twinkle in your eye, and his brain turned to mush. You looked… good. That was all he was capable of thinking, as you walked the short distance to his car, waving, and slid into the passenger seat.

Sunghoon stared at you for a second, as you put on your seatbelt and said hi, his mind completely blank. Then, your touch on his shoulder and a furrow between your brows brought him back to the present and he spat out a jumbled mess of, “Good, yeah, yeah. I’m good, you’re good, so good.”

It was your turn to stare, confusion clear in your eyes, and panic rose within him.

“Wait, I mean you look good!” he said, gesturing at you, “I mean, not that you don’t look good all the time, but, like, you look really good right now. Like, wow, I–I should stop talking.”

You blinked at him for a second and then laughed that same laugh that melted his insides. He noticed, as you threw your head back slightly, that you hadn’t removed your hand from his shoulder, and Sunghoon found himself relishing your touch.

“Stop it, cutie, you’re gonna make me blush,” you said playfully, rolling your eyes and hitting his chest lightly. You sobered up slightly, but the smile was still wide on your face as you said, “You look good, too. Very suave, very cool. I can’t lie though, I miss the bedhead and your grandma’s sweater a bit.”

With your easy words lightening the mood, he found himself relaxing a bit–enough to pull away from the curb and start driving. “Really? Maybe I’ll wear it next time.”

You didn’t blink at his mention of a next time, though Sunghoon searched your face for any sign of discomfort or surprise. Instead, your smile grew slightly and you asked, “What type of date are you thinking? Like, an early morning IHOP or Waffle House thing? Or, more of an early-morning pancake date at home?”

If it weren’t for the fact that he’d stopped at a red light, Sunghoon was sure he would’ve crashed his car right at that moment. He gulped loudly and spared your expectant eyes a glance, as he could feel his blood rush in his ears and hear his heart pound out of his chest.

The light turned green and he cleared his throat. “Uh, so, does that mean this is a date?”

He was glad he couldn’t see your reaction to his question–you probably thought he was silly–but was also nervous because you went quiet for a  bit. Sunghoon considered turning on the radio and moving on from the topic, if that could dispel the momentary awkwardness between you two, but he wanted to hear your answer.

You laughed slightly, but he could hear the nervous undertones. “Do you not want it to be one? I’m sorry, I just assumed because, well, we kissed at the party and we’ve been talking and stuff since then, so… I thought you were more of a dating type of guy, but–”

“Wait, what?” he interrupted, a crease in his forehead as he spared you a glance. Something within him shattered at the sight of the uncertainty on your face. Had he done that? “What other type of guy would I be?”

“Well, you know…” You paused, shifting slightly in your seat. “There are some guys that just wanna have fun. Mess around, you know? I didn’t think you were one of those guys, but if that’s what you wanna do, then–”

“No,” he said fiercely, only realising how angry he sounded when you glanced at him in surprise. “I want to date you. I really do. I just… I thought you didn’t and I didn’t know if we were just friends, and I’ve never done this before so, I just–”

“You’ve never done this before?” you cut him off, visible shock in your eyes. “There’s no way, Hoon. You’re joking, right?”

And with that, the awkwardness dissipated, as his cheeks flamed and he avoided your wide eyes.

“I know, it’s weird–”

“No, no!” You smiled a bit at his flustered state. “It’s not weird. I’ve only dated once before and, even then, it wasn’t that serious, so we’re kind of in the same boat.”

It was his turn to glance at you with incredulous eyes. “Wait, really? I thought you had so much dating experience cause, like, you’re such a good kisser and you’re so confident and forward, y’know?”

You shrugged. “Like I said, some guys just wanna mess around. Sometimes, I do too.”

“And that’s not what you want with me, right? You actually want to date, right?” You’d already told him you considered this a date, and he’d already told you he wanted to date you–which you hadn’t objected to–but he just had to make sure that was real, and his mind hadn’t made that up.

“Yeah, Hoon,” you started softly, a shy smile on your lips–something he thought he’d never see on you.  “I actually want to date you.”

Immediately, his eyes flickered back to the road and his cheeks flushed, a wide grin slowly stretching on his lips. You laughed at his smile, loud and warm, and he closed his eyes in bliss and only opened them again to smile at you.

“So, this is a date? For sure?” he asked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the console as he flickered through the channels for a song.

“Mhm,” you hummed, your hand brushing his as you turned up the volume on a specific channel, smiling at the way his flush deepened. You held his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and nodded. “This is a date.”

Sunghoon couldn’t even remember why he’d been so nervous, and why his palms–one of which was currently touching yours–had been so sweaty, as he gazed into your eyes and leaned in for a chaste kiss. He smiled into it and rolled his eyes to himself, all of his questions answered. Especially the one he’d been too worried to even ask himself.

If he’d had any doubt about it before, he was sure of it now.

He liked you. Maybe even too much for a summer fling.

IV – S is for Sorry

Over the next few days, Sunghoon found himself wishing you guys were more than just a summer fling.

It was wistful thinking, he knew that already. Just a few months prior, you guys hadn’t even been aware of the other's existence. Now, to him, it felt like you took up every inch of his thoughts, dreams, and being. And, in just a couple of weeks, you’d be off to your respective universities, leaving the short fling between you just that–a short, summer fling.

You two were avoiding talking about it, despite the palpable tension it added to your conversations when you brought up the future. You would mention how you were going to look into photography courses at your uni on a video call and Sunghoon would smile outwardly, while inwardly he’d wonder if you’d find someone else to call your muse–as he’d gotten used to you calling him.

He would mention how he was going to do a double major since he wasn’t completely sure what he wanted to do, and he’d notice the way you’d bite your lip like you were stopping yourself from asking him where. And, just now, moments ago on your video call, you had mentioned how you wanted to go on another date with him after you both got back from your hometowns, but before… (well, you hadn’t continued but he knew you meant before you two had to part.)

He knew you two were only prolonging your pain, and he was only wounding himself deeper by thinking so wistfully, but you two were happy at this exact moment. And, it wasn’t enough, but he’d make it be enough if that was what you two needed.

At least, that’s what he’d been thinking till his sister barged into his childhood room and said his grandma wanted to see him.

Now, legs tucked under himself and head lowered, Sunghoon sat opposite her, with a long table between them, and a tense silence filled the room.

He wasn’t sure what his grandma “seeing him” meant. She wasn’t very old, just in her early sixties, but she was a calm, wise woman who’d lived to see and experience a lot, so she may as well have had the wisdom of someone a century old. If she wanted to “see him,” that most likely meant she had a piece of advice for him that he wouldn’t like.

For once, he was right.

“So, your mum told me you’ve been seeing someone?”

Sunghoon coughed abruptly, patting his chest as a deep flush flooded his cheeks. “I’m sorry?”

“Sorry?” Sunghoon’s grandma scoffed and eyed him slowly. “What are you sorry for? Not calling to consult me first? Or, for trying to hide it from me? Or, is there something else, hm?”

He raised his eyes to meet his grandma’s eyes, but immediately lowered them at the fierce scowl on her face. He bowed deeply, palms flat before him. “I’m sorry, Grandma.”

She eyed his form for a second, before scoffing again and gesturing toward him. “Sit, sit. I didn’t call you here to hear you apologise all day.”

Sunghoon sat again and raised his head but still didn’t look his grandma in the eye. His mind was too preoccupied with wondering how his mum had figured it out, considering you guys had gone on your first date just a couple of days ago.

He jolted a bit when his grandma asked, “You’re not going to ask me why I called you?”

“Sorry,” he began and cleared his throat at his grandma’s glare.  “Why did you call me, Grandma?”

She continued eyeing him with the same, wary gaze she’d been eyeing him with since he’d entered her room for a few moments, before she suddenly became sombre. Without the glint in her eyes, Sunghoon could see how deep the pools in her eyes were and the lines surrounding them. He released a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

“Well, what’s your plan? Hm?” Her eyes bore deep into his like her question was just a formality and she already knew the answer. Sunghoon wouldn’t be surprised if she already did. “Are you two going to be a campus couple?”

He knew her question was mostly rhetorical, but he couldn’t help but imagine it. Walking you to and from lectures; studying together in a library or a cosy coffee shop; going to endless parties with you; proofreading each other’s papers; you wearing his clothes in his dorm. Sunghoon felt himself grow warm.

Then, even warmer as his grandma cleared her throat and raised a knowing brow in his direction. She didn’t have to say anything for him to realise she was expecting an answer.

“I…” He faltered for a moment, remembering the hesitancy in your eyes every time a hint of the topic was brought up. “I don’t know, Grandma. I… well, there’s nothing I can really do, I guess. We’re probably not even going to the same universities, so I don’t know what the plan is.”

“Have you guys talked about it?”

A pause settled between the two of them, as Sunghoon lowered his eyes again and prepared himself to bow again.

His grandma scoffed, the loudest of all her scoffs so far, and sighed exasperatedly. “You two haven’t even discussed anything? And you’re here talking like you’re some handsome lead in a drama and _____’s life will be in danger if you two continue dating?”

“Ah, Grandma, are you saying I’m not hands–Wait, wait? How do you know _____’s name?”

She paused slightly and carefully schooled her features. “Is that important right now?”

“I mean,” Sunghoon’s brows furrowed, then he remembered your touch against them and he relaxed them a bit, “considering that I’ve never told Mum _____’s name or even the fact that we’ve been on one date, yes? Kinda?”

“I’m your grandma, am I not?” was her only response, with the ghost of a smile on her lips. He grimaced slightly, but his grandma continued without any regard for his reaction. “I know you guys are kids, but you didn’t even think of discussing anything? You were just going to kiss and say ‘bye bye’ and continue with your lives?”

“I mean,” Sunghoon started, trying to fight the blush climbing up his body. There wasn’t any point, though, because the apples of his cheeks were already shining. “_____’s not even my partner or anything, so it isn’t my place…”

“But isn’t that the end goal?”

His grandma stared at him, but he couldn’t hold the weight of her stare. Because deep down inside, Sunghoon knew she was right. And he knew he wanted nothing more than to be able to be called yours.

To see more pictures of the scenery from your morning walks and even join you on them too. To cuddle up in bed and watch some of your favourite animes together, only pausing to snuggle further into the blanket. To finally go on that early morning date at a Waffle House, eating your orders in his car where his passenger seat would be perfectly adjusted to seat you. To have a home, a space, with you.

But, he thought. There was always a ‘but’.

Before, that ‘but’ had been that he wasn’t even sure if that was what you wanted as well, if he even really wanted it. Now, that ‘but’ was the inevitable space and distance that would grow between you two. The space that would grow so large that you two wouldn’t be able to have any space for each other.

Sunghoon’s stomach sank as his thoughts spiralled, but he summed them up to his grandma with a simple shrug.

“Why are you, why are you so dramatic?” she asked, rolling her eyes at her grandson’s face. A fierce scowl was back on her face and, if it weren’t for the table between the two of them, she looked like she was about ready to pull on Sunghoon’s ear. “Why are you sitting here in my house moping and frowning like everything’s decided? Who knows? Maybe _____ is willing to make it work, to even travel to another city just to see you and your dramatic self. But how would you know when you’re busy here moping?”

He’d considered it. Judging from the talks you’d had and the sheer amount of hours you talked every day, Sunghoon was sure that you liked him as well (not as much as he did, he was sure–that wasn’t even remotely possible when he could barely get you off his mind–but enough to deal with his “dramatic self,” as his grandma had put it). But, there it was again, he just couldn’t get rid of that ‘but.’ It was festering in the back of his mind whenever he even thought of bringing it up to you.

“Sunghoon.” There was a note of finality in his grandma’s voice as she said his name. “Discuss things with _____ first. I understand sometimes we experience heartbreak, but I won’t let you break your own heart over foolishness.”

“But Grandma–”

“No ‘buts.’” His grandma folded her arms in her lap and glanced at the door of her room. “No more ‘buts’, Sunghoon.”

Despite the lingering worry settled in his system, he sighed and stood up slowly. Sunghoon bowed deeply, glanced at his hands, and left his grandma’s room with her words in mind.

V – E is for End

Sunghoon wasn’t too sure he’d be able to follow his grandma’s instructions.

He was back now from his hometown, back in the comfort of his familiar Seoul bedroom, but you weren’t here. He’d known you two wouldn’t get back at the same time, yet that didn’t stop him from feeling slightly lonely without you to go on dates with. It was a numbing feeling, that left him feeling empty if he dwelled on it too long, and he worried he’d go completely numb if you two truly didn’t end up working out.

The thought sent a chill down his spine every time Sunghoon’s mind strayed to it and Jake’s feeble comforts did little to quell his worries.

To make matters worse, you unexpectedly postponed your return date and said you couldn’t go to a pool party Jake was throwing anymore. You were very vague about the reason why when he asked and Sunghoon began worrying once again. He even brought up not going to the party to Jake, but his best friend wouldn’t have it and threatened to drag him to the party himself.

So, there he was. Standing at the edge of a crowd of strangers, nursing his second beer of the night, and completely alone. Well, he wasn’t completely alone. Jake and some of Sunghoon’s other friends had passed by him and invited him to the dance floor, but he couldn’t get himself to get out there and dance with someone who wasn’t you. The most they’d been able to get him to do was drink a little, even if the drinks only fuelled his moping.

A couple of people sent him inviting looks and winks, dancing in a way that made him avert his eyes immediately, but he didn’t budge an inch from where he was standing. Maybe if you were here, he would. No, definitely, if you were here he would. His mind wandered to grasp at the edges of the first night you’d met, trying to remember if you’d been dancing that night, but he couldn’t pull up a single image of you dancing.

If you were here, how would you dance? Would you dance with a lot of energy, completely letting yourself loose? Or, would you take your time to flow with the music, swinging your hips and smiling at him in that way that just drove him crazy?

Sunghoon smiled a bit at the thought and felt his hips move along to the beat, frowning once he realised what he was doing.

He missed you.

Just a few months ago, he hadn’t known he could miss someone the way he was missing you, but he was and he couldn’t do anything about it.

As if his best friend could read his thoughts, Jake danced off the dance floor to Sunghoon’s side, running a hand through his unruly, blond hair. Sunghoon could smell the booze coming off him, and he watched as his friend nearly lost his footing trying to lean on Sunghoon. Jake barely noticed, though, as he just kept smiling up at Sunghoon. Sunghoon made a point to look anywhere, except in the blond’s direction.

After a while of just trying to ignore his drunk friend, Sunghoon eventually rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow in Jake’s direction. “What?”

“I can’t, I can’t just look at you now?” Jake asked, his wide smile never leaving his face.

“No, it’s not that. It’s the way you’re looking at me.”

“How am I looking at you?” His friend leaned in close, stretching an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulders. “Hm? I’m just looking at you with my normal eyeballs, my very normal eyeballs, actually just like you, you too.”

“You’re looking at me like, I don’t fucking know, you’re hiding some type of secret from me,” Sunghoon said, pushing Jake off his frame. “And I don’t like that look because the last time you looked at me like that I ended up kissing _____ in a shed for seven minutes.”

Jake’s wide smile grew into a slight, smug smirk. “And look how well that turned out for you. Someone’s not so bitchless anymore.”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes and took a swig of his drink but couldn’t hide the dusting of pink on his cheeks. (If he were to consider things between the two of you, you would be the one who wasn’t so bitchless anymore, considering he was more of your bitch than you were his with the way he was nursing a beer in the corner of a party like a loser just because he missed you. He didn’t need to tell Jake all that though.)

Instead, he feigned an annoyed scowl and crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want, Jake?”

“I thought you would never ever ever ask.” His friend grinned. “Can you please get out the other floaties from the shed? Some people ripped these and, well, turns out not everyone at a pool party can actually swim. A bit crazy, I know.”

“Why can’t you? The shed was closer to where you were standing.”

“Um…” his friend trailed off, shaking his head incredulously, “I’m obviously inebriated, you know! Everything weighs a shitton of bricks right now.”

Sunghoon’s feigned scowl deepened into a real one, as he rolled his eyes and put his beer down on the ground. It was getting warm anyway and the alcohol wasn’t doing much for him, except make him miss you more. He shot Jake a look, before shouldering past him and making his way towards Jake’s shed.

It was surprisingly chilly for a summer night out, chilly enough at least that Sunghoon could feel some of the hairs on his arms raise as he stalked towards the shed. But, he welcomed the chill because his alternative was thinking about what had happened the last time he’d walked towards this shed. And once he started thinking about that, he’d start missing the feel of your lips on his, your arms around his neck, your eyes staring into his.

He cursed under his breath at his thoughts, wondering if, for even one second, he could think of something other than you.

Sunghoon immediately answered his question with a ‘no’ when he walked into the shed and he thought he smelled your signature fragrance. He would’ve recognised it anywhere (not because he was obsessed like Jake had once said, but because you’d borrowed his sweater on your date and your scent still lingered even after he’d washed it), so he was sure he wasn’t picking up someone else’s perfume or cologne, but he wouldn’t rule out him imagining your fragrance there as a result of him missing you so much.

So, he ignored the smell filling the shed and clambered around for the light switch. He’d been so sure it was by the wall, but he must’ve been more buzzed than he realised because his fingers kept grazing the air. By the time he finally felt the grooves of the light switch under his fingers and was going to turn it on, Sunghoon was so ready to grab the floaties Jake had asked for and get back to the party, or maybe even go home because–

Sunghoon froze.

He couldn’t think, speak, or do anything as the lights flickered on to reveal… well, you.

Sunghoon was going crazy.

He was so sure you were a figment of his imagination, brought about by how much he missed you, and he immediately frowned at the thought. Missing you was fine, maybe overkill when he thought about how often he thought about you, but creating images of you? That was a bit too much, even for him.

Despite his thoughts, though, Sunghoon couldn’t shake the nagging hope that maybe this was real. It didn’t help that “you”—or you–were smiling at him in a way that made his stomach flip, especially after being away from you for so long.

He felt ridiculous for even bothering, like when a horror film character asks who’s there after hearing a noise in the dark, but he cleared his throat slowly and whispered, “_____?”

You giggled softly and raised your eyebrows at what Sunghoon was sure was an incredulous look on his face. “Yes, Hoon?”

“Oh, my God,” Sunghoon started, feet still locked in place, “Oh, my God.”

You took a step closer to him and your grin only grew wider as he blinked slowly at you. Another step and he gulped slowly. Yet another and his eyes grew wide.

He put a hand up before you could take another step and close the distance between you two. “Wait, wait, wait!”

A small frown lit up your face, but you stayed where you were and slightly cocked your head.

“You’re real?” Sunghoon felt stupid asking, but he still had to check.

The feeling only doubled when your brows furrowed and you asked, “Am I real? … Hoon, is everything okay?”

He felt so warm at the familiar nickname that he could almost ignore the rest of what you said, but the growing concern on your face made him clarify himself.

“I just, I’ve had a bit to drink so I thought that my brain tricked me into thinking you were there.” Sunghoon paused at the bemusement on your face and he suddenly felt a whole lot warmer, despite the chilly air. “Actually, um, now that I say it out loud I do realise how ridiculous it sounds. Sorry.”

“Well,” you smiled at him with a sly glint in your eye, finally closing the gap between you two so your breath was fanning out on his face, “if you want to check, you always can.”

Sunghoon, being the guy he was, immediately thought of how he’d pinch himself in a shocking situation and went to do just that. It was only when you laughed at his actions, an incredulous look in your eyes, that he realised what you’d meant and blushed.

“Oh, I, I–”

“Hoon?” you asked, cutting him off and waiting until he nodded, “You’re so cute sometimes, y’know?”

“Just sometimes?” Sunghoon recovered quickly, sliding his arms around your waist and grinning slightly. He’d missed this too much. “So, what am I the other times?”

“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow. “Someone’s gotten a little bolder, hasn’t he?”

“I’d say it’s your influence. You were bound to rub off on me after sticking around me so much.”

He grinned at the way your brows shot up.

“Sticking around you? Hoon, who was the one that–”

“_____?” It was Sunghoon’s turn to cut you off and his grin grew so wide at the realisation on your face. It felt good to finally flip the tables. “You talk so much sometimes, y’know?”

You rolled your eyes, but there was a slight tug on your lips. “Wow, you’re so original. What, first you’re gonna steal my line, next you’re gonna pull some cheesy rom-com line on me and kiss me?”

“So you’re telling me you wouldn’t like it?” he asked, as one of his hands slowly travelled up your side and settled on cupping your jaw. He didn’t miss the way you sagged into his touch. Sunghoon was going to explode.

The tug on your lips grew into a full grin and you wrapped your hands around his neck. “Now, who said anything about that? C’mere, Hoon.”

He didn’t need to hear it twice. Sunghoon tilted your jaw towards him and leaned in for a soft kiss. It wasn’t intense or desperate, unlike what he’d imagined it be like after being away from you for so long, but he preferred it this way. He could savour the taste of your familiar lip balm against his lips and take his time pecking small, chaste kisses on and around your lips.

He sighed out loud and felt his cheeks flush when you pulled back to laugh. “You really missed me, huh?”

Sunghoon wasn’t sure if it was because of the little alcohol in his system or how much he’d missed you, but he gazed into your eyes and whispered, “I did. I really did.”

And, just like that, the tension was back. The obvious hesitancy. The ‘buts.’ He could feel your hold on his neck loosen slightly and he wanted nothing more than to take his words back and rewind to before he fell too deep, but it was too late. All that was left was for him to either avoid everything or finally face it, despite the worries that built up in his mind.

“_____,” he started gently, like you would run away at any second (but he knew you too well to know that you wouldn’t–he would), “we… we should talk.”

“About what?” you tried, a burst of nervous laughter escaping your lips.

You were avoiding his serious gaze, choosing instead to focus on where your hands met his neck. Sunghoon couldn’t tell much of what you were thinking, but, knowing you, he knew you were only postponing the conversation. Maybe it was because this was supposed to be a fun night for you two–after all, you’d probably sacrificed some more nights with your family to get here. Or, maybe it was because you weren’t ready to discuss it. Either way, it was as much your decision as his.

Sunghoon lowered his hands to your lower back and squeezed lightly. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to… It’d just be a good idea because soon everyone’s gonna start leaving for uni and well, we don’t even know what’s gonna happen between us then, and it’d probably be best if–”

“Hoon.” You were looking into his eyes now, your brows drawn together. “You’re shaking.”

His eyes grew wide and left your face to glance at his fingers, which were trembling around your waist. He tried laughing, shaking the nerves off, but the sound came out choked and he winced. Without a word, he gestured towards the floor of the shed and slumped against the back wall. You followed shortly after, sitting with your knees bunched up to your chest, one of your shoulders brushing against his. At your touch, Sunghoon wanted to reach out and squeeze one of your hands, but they were balled up on top of your knees, a hard look on your face. He sighed.

“You’re right, Hoon,” you started, staring ahead through the open shed door. The party was still going on outside, the music and noise muted from where you two were, but it might’ve as well not been with the way you two were wrapped up in your own bubble. A tense bubble. “We should talk… about us.”

He nodded, crossing his legs and laying his trembling hands in his lap.

Despite what you said, a short lapse of silence settled between you two and, for a moment, Sunghoon was worried this wasn’t going to go anywhere and he’d made a mistake.

But then you swivelled your head towards him and whispered, “What do you want us to be?”

What does he want you two to be? He’d thought about that question one too many times. It’d only ever hurt, thinking of so many domestic scenes and possibilities with you two when he wasn’t even sure if there could be a ‘you two.’

“What do I want us to be?” he repeated, gazing out the shed. “I want us to be together. I want… I want to keep waking up to your pictures on my phone and to go on spontaneous, little dates with you and finally go for that Waffle House date and… just be with you. I want you.”

With his last words, he slowly looked at you and already found you looking at him. There was a little smile tugging at your lips, that was both sad and happy at the same time, and you just nodded slowly.

As his gaze lingered, you cleared your throat and averted your eyes. “I want that too. Really, I do. You don’t understand how many times I’ve wondered what it’d be like if, I don’t know, we’d met a little earlier. If we could’ve gotten to know each other during high school.

“You know Jake told me you were your school’s drama club star?” You smiled slightly and Sunghoon felt a small smile pull at his lips as well. “I would’ve loved to be in the crowds, cheering you on. Or, even maybe get up on stage with you. Jake told me your school never did Romeo and Juliet, but you’d make a pretty good Juliet, don’t you think?”

Sunghoon chuckled and you did too, your shoulders brushing against each other’s for a moment, till your laughter ebbed away. You stared straight ahead again, frowning.

“And then I wondered why I kept thinking of the past. I mean, it’d just make more sense for me to hope that we could stay together, you know? But instead, I keep wishing we’d known each other longer.” You smiled again, that smile from before, but Sunghoon was sure it was only sad this time. “And I realised that I, I felt like we were running out of time. That, I don’t know, when summer ends, we end. Like the changing of weather is some type of timer.”

You whispered the last part more to yourself, but Sunghoon heard it and the self-loathing in it. You loathed yourself for the way you’d been thinking. Sunghoon couldn’t help but relate.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you looked at Sunghoon, a flicker of uncertainty in your eyes. “Do you ever feel like that? Like this is all the time we’ll ever have? Like even thinking of a future where we’re together is… I don’t know, like, wrong?”

That familiar hurt Sunghoon felt or anticipated, whenever he thought of the two of you together on campus came to mind and he nodded slowly. The ‘buts were popping up in his mind again, filling him with growing dread and he was starting to regret his decision. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, shouldn’t have brought it up, and let you guys live in oblivious bliss for a little longer. But, deep down, he knew that wouldn’t be true bliss. Like his grandma had said, you would only end up hurting yourselves because of your foolishness.

“But that’s not true, is it?” he started, glancing down at his hands which had started trembling again, “I don’t even know, like, what even made us think we only have the summer? Just because we met in summer? When you think of it like that, you feel ridiculous don’t you? We could literally be going to the same uni and we’re here, too anxious to even tell each other where we’re going.”

You snorted, glancing at Sunghoon out of the corner of your eye. “You’re right.” Straightening, you turned your whole body to face him. “You know considering we’re going in a few weeks, we’ve probably put more effort into not mentioning uni in our conversations because it should’ve popped up in our conversations, at least, once before.”

“Exactly. We should just tell each other. Now. Before we, we lose our nerve or something.”

You nodded and bit your lip, while Sunghoon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt your hand brush against his, so he opened his eyes and took your hands in his. Your hands were, surprisingly, clammy. He was going to say something about it, but, glancing at your face, he spotted the way your eyes were darting all around the room.

Instead of commenting on it, Sunghoon took another deep breath. “Ready?”

You nodded once. “Ready.”

A short silence ensued between the two of you, as neither of you said anything or even made a move to say anything. Your eyes finally landed on his and a nervous smile tugged at the edge of your lips. You were nervous, Sunghoon realised belatedly and squeezed your hand instinctively.

“On three?” he offered.

“On three.”

“One, two, three–University of Seoul.”

“Kyunghee University–wait, what the fuck?”

Sunghoon furrowed his brows at the shocked look on your face and your exclamation. He couldn’t even focus on the name of the university you’d said. All the anxieties that’d been bothering him were beginning to boil up and over at the simple lack of happiness on your face. He was almost sure he was the one with the clammy hands now and he moved to remove his hand from yours when you gripped his tightly and began to smile lightly.

“What the fuck,” you repeated, still as shocked, but with the beginnings of a grin on your face.

Sunghoon only looked at you with his brows still furrowed. He frowned slightly when you began laughing. “I’m confused.”

“I can’t believe I was so stressed about this,” you muttered, mostly to yourself, but still smiling directly at him. “Hoon, we’re so dumb. So fucking dumb.”

“I agree… I think? But, why, I–”

“What neighbourhood is the University of Seoul in?”

“_____, what? I–”

You placed a finger on his lips and shook your head. “Don’t overthink it. Just answer my question.”

He glanced between your finger on his lips and your face. “Dongdaemun-gu.”

“Dongdaemun-gu,” you repeated, your small smile growing into a full one now, “Guess where Kyunghee is?”

“Uh.” He looked away from your face, trying to picture a map of Seoul in his head, but he drew short (he’d always been bad at geography anyway). “Myeongnyun? Daehakno?”

He didn’t think it was possible, but your smile grew even wider. “Not even close. It’s in Hoegi-Dong.”

Sunghoon nodded slowly, while you just looked at him with an expectant look on your face. He shook his head sheepishly and you just rolled your eyes.

“Hoon, they’re like five minutes away from each other.” You paused to let it sink in and laughed as Sunghoon’s brows finally relaxed and his eyes widened. “This is fucking stupid. We’re so fucking stupid.”

Sunghoon could only blink dumbly at you, while you just laughed at his dumbfounded shock. Immediately, his grandma’s words returned to him and a huge sense of embarrassment washed over him as he realised he’d proven her right. But, glancing between your intertwined hands and your wide smile, he found that he didn’t mind the embarrassment if it meant he still had a space with you.

(He’d do nearly anything to have that with you, he realised.)

You broke him out of his stupor by wrapping your arms around his neck and whispering, “So, Hoon, how do you feel now knowing that we’ll be, like, five minutes away from each other?”

“Want me to be honest?” he asked, placing his hands back on your waist (where they just seemed to fit perfectly, he noticed) and grinning softly when you nodded. “I feel really fucking embarrassed. Like, for weeks I’ve just been thinking of how much I’d miss you and wondering if I should even ask you out since we might not even see each other ever again. And, in the back of my head, I knew it was dumb because, if we wanted to make it work, we could make it work for sure. But, it was hard to remember that and–”

“Hoon, hoon,” you interrupted, giggling slightly and tightening your grip on his neck, “now, you’re the one talking too much.”

Sunghoon paused, taking a second to process what was going on. You were in front of him, hands wrapped around his neck, and smiling widely like he made you the happiest person in the world. He was in front of you, hands wrapped around your waist, and still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you two would be five minutes away from each other nearly every day–the closest to a campus couple he could ever ask for. He didn’t believe in fate (the same way he hadn’t believed in perfect first kisses, but he’d seen just how well that’d worked out for him), but the more he thought about it, the more he was sure that something more than luck had landed you two in this situation.

He sighed out loud and rested his head against yours. ”God, I feel like I aged twenty years worrying about all of this. It feels a bit silly now, doesn’t it?”

“A bit is an understatement, don’t you think?” you replied, settling yourself in his lap. He froze a bit, and you moved to get up, but he shook his head and brought you closer. You smiled. “Besides, you’d probably still look good as a thirty-nine-year-old.”

“Oh, gross.” He scrunched up his nose as he moved closer to you, his hands running up and down your sides. “I don’t even want to imagine myself over thirty yet.”

“Really?” you raised a brow, arms locking around his neck and eyes flickering to his lips. “You’d be a hot DILF though.”

He snorted. “God, shut up.”

Your smile widened, a knowing glint in your eye. “Don’t make me say the cheesy rom-com line, Hoon.”

“Alright, alright,” he murmured, lips a breadth away from yours, before he kissed you.

Now, this was the desperate, intense kiss he’d been imagining earlier. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the anticipation you’d both been harbouring before or the elation at what you’d just found out, but you both pulled out the works with teeth, tongue–everything. Sunghoon couldn’t begin to describe how he felt, what you were making him feel, but all he knew was he didn’t want it to end.

And when you kissed him on his cheek, tugged on his hand, and pulled him out into the chaos of the party, smiling at him all the while like he was the only guy in the world, he knew it never would.

Epilogue – S is for Summer Fling

You two had decided on the early-morning pancake at-home date.

Evidently so, as you were in nothing but a hoodie of his and his old gym shorts (a fact that Sunghoon had known since yesterday, when you’d slept over at his after Jake’s party, but he was still struggling to grasp), he was in another one of his hoodies and sweatpants, and you were both still rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. The rich smell of butter wafted all around Sunghoon’s kitchen, accompanied by the sizzling sound of him pouring pancake batter on the greasy pan. Besides the sizzles, and the occasional yawn from you, it was a completely silent morning, as Sunghoon concentrated all his efforts into impressing you with his cooking skills.

“So does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?” you asked, breaking the silence and Sunghoon’s focus.

He blinked, glad he was facing the stove and not where you sitting behind the kitchen island, and found that he couldn’t stop blinking. Was he your boyfriend? It was like you read his mind because that’s all he’d been thinking of since the moment he woke up with you in his arms. He’d fallen asleep on many hot summer nights, but he’d never woken up as warm as he had that morning. It was a feeling he’d spent minutes basking in, tracing every one of your resting features with his eyes and wondering how he’d function as your boyfriend, waking up nearly every morning with this same warmth in his chest. It almost seemed too good to be his reality. And if he was your boyfriend, he thought, that meant you were his and–

“Hoon! The pancakes!” you yelled and Sunghoon cursed loudly.

He moved the pan off the stove and turned on the kitchen hood, but it was too late. The pancake was charred beyond recognition and, looking down at it, he wondered how he hadn’t smelt the tinging scent of the burnt pancake.

Sunghoon sighed as he chucked away the pancakes. “I’m sorry, _____, that was the last bit of pancake batter we had. If you don’t mind, I can quickly run to the store and–”

“Don’t worry about it, Hoon,” you said, cutting him off as you slid off the island seat. He couldn’t see where you were, or where you were going, so he stifled his breath a bit when you slid up beside him and thrust your phone in his face. “Besides, we can order in.”

He spared a glance at your face, preparing himself for any signs of disappointment or irritation, but you were just smiling at him with a soft look in your eyes.

His brows furrowed. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“Yeah, I guess,” you started, shrugging, “but I can wait a couple of minutes.”

Sunghoon bit his lip, a protest and another apology on the tip of his tongue, and furrowed his brows further. Your eyes traced his movements, and you placed two gentle fingers on the fold between his brows, smoothing them out. He didn’t say anything as you did. He just lowered his head and frowned slightly at the smoking scent reminding him of his failed attempt at breakfast. You simply grinned at the obvious frustration and disappointment on his face, a look rising in your eyes that he didn’t catch as he chewed on his lower lip.

“Hoon,” you called out softly, waiting for him to raise his head. When he did, you took a step closer to him, a coy look in your eyes. “You didn’t answer my question.”

He was about to furrow his brows again in confusion, but your words from earlier replayed in his head as your smile only grew more teasing, and Sunghoon was sure he was turning as red as the strawberries on the counter behind him.

The boy averted his gaze from you, murmuring, “Well, I was hoping to ask if I could have the honour of being your boyfriend after, you know, we had food that I’d made in our stomachs and proper clothes on our bodies, but I guess so.”

“The honour?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow and muffling a laugh. Sunghoon glared at you lightly when you let a giggle slip, at which you apologised. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll bestow you with the honour of being my boyfriend after we run to the grocery store so you can fix up some pancakes and ask me out already.”

You almost laughed again at how quickly he perked up at your words and, this time, he rolled your eyes and smiled slightly at your teasing grin.

As he grabbed his keys, held your hand, and slipped out the door, the same warmth he’d felt that morning bloomed from where your hands met to every other bit of his body. He’d never imagined this, kissing his soon-to-be something in his car before a grocery run, was where he’d find himself after he’d had his first kiss on a night that felt like years ago. He couldn’t even imagine where he’d be with you in a couple of years. All he knew was he was glad you’d ended up as more than a summer fling.

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[horseshoemybeloved]

I am so sick sometimes of being a woman and painter online whenever I post little tips n shit my comments are just flooded with “ ermmm actually “

Like I was showing my mixture I use for my carved frames and half of those comments were just “ use drywall compound 🙄” like dude no that’s not gonna fucking work! That shit is dry and crumbly you carve that and good luck getting a clean line. Or some lady. Who claimed she was a professional sculpture said I was being super weird and dumb for not just using clay. And when I told her clay dries too fast and hard she was like “ excuse me you just wet the clay. But good luck with your little experiments ig “ like BRUHHHHH

( I also had a kid on tiktok say the same thing but his response was “ umm… you…. You do know you’re supposed to carve it while it’s wet??? Are you dumb?” )

Also I should mention I’m not looking for sympathy or anything just venting cus I’m frustrated 😭 I just wanna help people but people just Love correcting everything women say.

It reminds me a tiny bit of when I made my retro inspired jerma pins and to promote it I was like “ look at this vintage retro pins “ and God I got reposted with a bunch of people going “ god she doesn’t know she’s so stupid “ GIRL I SAID. I LITERALLY SAY “ omg so hash tag retro vintage !” How,,,, how do you think I’m being serious,,,

[xherry7816]

holy moly xherry7816 you've reached 50 likes !!!! ive been working on some gi designs for the ninja but ive been struggling to show off their individuality while still looking like their gi but i havent actually looked up reference of gi so in pretty sure that should be the first step.

ok so the au (still unnamed) taking place in a slightly canon divergent season 5 MORRO is currently after the realm crystal in his attempts to bring the PREEMINENT (?) to NINJAGO and like destroy it or whatever, solid stuff. except whats different here is that MORRO does not go and posses LLOYD as his first step because he'd struggle more as a human than if he were a ghost so he and his ghoul gang decide to get the hard stuff out the way, the ninja chasing them to put a stop to him obviously. also in this au NYA is not told by WU that she is the water ninja, instead she receives her awakening when defending one of the team from a ghost and then hes like omg :0 !#!%#!$#??

the au starts off with the mission to retrieve the realm crystal on time (before MORRO) because even if he beats them to everythinf else MORRO cant do anything without the crystal. unfortunately for them !!! MORRO is already a few steps ahead and when they reach the resting place of the FSM they find the ghost, crystal in hand. boom boom battle !! and theyre all fighting anf there are ghosts everywhere (NYA is not here bc remember KAI isnt supposed to know hes the water ninja yet) and MORRO is very clearly goig after LLOYD. wait, ok wait i need to type up my thinking process rn or else it wont make sense when i read everything back bc isnt only a spinjulistu master able to find the tomb,,,,, ermmm OK LLOYD possesion- no i cant do that to him. its an au whatever, so yeah MORRO'S in there crystal in hand going after greenie and KAI kicks in yk the brother stuff so theyr fighting anf stuff and like idk MORRO knocks KAI off his feet anf starts heading towards LLOYD again so as a last ditch effort KAI fires towards MORRO and it hits the crystal aaaa ! even thought i cant possibly imagine the crystal being so weak i can just say the power of love made him stronger bc those tight family bonds (im a sucker 4 found famiky but who isnt these days). and then its kinda like the scene in SONIC PRIME where the prism goes boom !! and theres a shockwave and it looks cool and then u see SONIC traversing through the SHATTERVERSE 4 the first time and then he ends up in NEW YOKE, except its KAI landing in the PRIME EMPIRE CITY with all his friends looking different and jazz. the whole mission is to retrive the realm crystal shards and put them back 2gether so he can get home and finish the fight with MORRO. for the og universe i kinda just imagine time stops so 4 the ninja itd look like KAI disappears for a few moments and then comes right back. as i did mention when i was vaugely describing universe 1 (PRIME EMPIRE divergent i hope im usong that word right btw) KAI doesnt stay long in that universe so just like in SONIC PRIME he will return to some universes, whether on purpose or not, to retrieve the shards

i was wondering if i should write a fanfic bc thats what most people seem 2 do but im not really good with keeping up the motivation to write, i used 2 have a miraculous ninjago crossover on ao3 (literally called miraculous bc im unoriginal) but after like 5 updates i did updates like one every 3 months and then deleted it lol so im probably jist going to let this au die when i get tired of it !!!! tbh i need to rewatch ninjago bc im forgetting all my facts (and a SONIC PRIME rewatch not that i really need to but its very good har har)

btw i hope its obvious that my username was supposed 2 be CHERRY, like my name, but i misspelt it and thought it looked cool.

should i make a tag 4 this au ??? its not really hard 2 find it since its pretty much all i post and i dont even know what 2 call it,,, ill just think abt it 4 now :D

[tealenko]

Tagged by the lovely @kat-hikari <3 <3 <3

Nickname: Tea, Tetea and Tuchi (only my mom calls me that lol). All of them come from my real name: ~ ~ t e a (in Spanish) // ~ ~ t ~ e a (in English)

Height: 1.60 m (idk the other metric system and I don't feel like looking for it lol... Lets just say that I'm short :D)

Last thing I Googled: Distance from New York to Detroit (I was checking things for a possible fic XD)

Song stuck in my head: ~insert ANYTHING composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda~ Usually it's a: "Boy you got me heeeeeelpleeeeesssss" Repiting non-stop in my mind as I run through my house to go to the kitchen.

Lucky number: Idk if it's lucky... But since I was little I liked the number 8 and then, as a teen, I started to like 11 too. If I have to choose only one then... 42... :D (kinda related with one of my favourite authors ehehehe)

Dream job: The one I have :) Teaching (Sometimes I'd like to go back to teach maths... I kinda miss it. But I have to say I'm enjoying teaching computer science a lot too!!)

Wearing: My pijamas!!!

Favourite song: Arggg!!! Ermmm... Insert anything composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda?? XDDDDDD Does people have a single favorite song??? Really??? I don't even have a favorite singer or group lol So I'm gonna say one I don't expect a lot of people to know... And if you do, a love it as much as I do, I'll marry you instantly -> Money - DAWN

Favourite instrument: How geek would it be if I said ocarina? ehehehehe (I do love a good compilation of music played by ocarina). In music I hear everyday I'll say violin. Oh! And electric bass. I looooooove me a good base in a song (I think that explains my current obsession with Dua Lipa and Billie Eilish)

Aesthetic: non in particular... Everything in general. I spent all my teenage years in jeans and black t-shirts... so now I'l living my best life and I'm not afraid of anything. I go from formal wear, to sporty, to goth, to cute... I have no limit, you should see my wardrove lol And same goes for everything else... I'm just living my best life!!

Favourite author: It's been a triple tie, for a while now, between Terry Pratchet, Douglas Adams and Jane Austen (as you can see... I'm open to different genres lol)

Favourite animal: I'm a dog person (big ones, in particular... Well... and corgis 🥰🥰🥰). A little obsessed with otters for the last two years (but, come on, they're water dogs afterall) and... let me check my pinterest board... Ah yeah... Penguins!!! <3 <3 <3

Something random: The best ideas I've ever had for my fics come from when I'm dancing alone in my room in front of my mirror... It works for me every. single. time. I think it helps me clear my mind idk... But I assure you it works. So... There's a new trick for you lol.

As always, don't feel pressured to do it if you don't want to, but... tagging: @acciokaidanalenko @citadelsushi @fshenkoescape @ficbrish @halesshepardn7 (yeah... I know... I tag you in everything ehehehehehe) @nothisis-ridiculous @zizzlekwum and anyone else who wants to do this!!!

And I'm not gonna check the grammar... today it's not the day for me to do that sorry <3 :D

[currently-in-fanfiction-hell]

Days at the Hunter Base, CHAPTER 5: The Zero Fanclub (originally from my Quotev account)

It was a normal day at Hunter Base.

Too normal, in fact.

Despite it being so long since the last major Maverick incident, X, Zero and Axl still weren't used to the peace and quiet. Funny, since that's what the Hunters strive for, but they'd become so accustomed to the havoc that peace seemed to worry them.

So whenever an opportunity comes by for them to do anything at all, they'd take it up, in this case, it was going grocery shopping for Dr. Cain.

"Man, ever since when did we become his personal caretakers?" Axl stretched his arms out, all that shopping tired him out, all of them never expected a grocery list to be so long, in fact, they were taking a break at a nearby cafe, they were that tired.

"Axl, it's not his fault that his actual caretaker turned out to be sick with the flu, besides, it's not like he'll be able to manage all of this grocery shopping by himself, be considerate." X scolded him.

"Besides, you told us that you wanted to tag along, so it's not like you didn't have a choice, so stop complaining." Zero added, "At least it's all over now, all we need to do is drop this off at his place, right?"

"Yep," X nodded, "I haven't visited him in a while, so I hope you don't mind if we stick around a bit longer."

"No problem at all." Zero said, then he proceeded to look at Axl with a stern gaze, "Right, Axl?"

"R-right!" Axl stuttered, while he'd been a Maverick Hunter for long enough to get used to Zero's glares, they still, and always felt...intimidating.

"Great!" X smiled, "Let's not keep him waiting."

_______________________________________________

They proceeded to walk out of the cafe, enjoying the nice afternoon breeze, when suddenly...

"OHMIGOSH!!! IS THAT ZERO?!" The high-pitched squeal of a teenage girl was a complete surprise to all of them, a moment later, a young, female Reploid ran up to them, or to be more specific, she ran up to Zero.

"Ohmigosh, are you really Zero?!" Her squealing became even more high-pitched, to the point where it sounded like she practically lived on helium.

She was bouncy, energetic, and couldn't stop fidgeting, she was also sweating all over.

And they thought Axl was energetic, this was a whole new level.

"Uhhhh...Yes...?" Zero responded rather cautiously, he was used to getting attention from journalists and the press, but for all of...this to come out of a young teenage Reploid?

...Wait, he thought, oh, great, not one of those again...

The girl's grin grew even wider, if that was even possible, "OHMIGOSH! IT REALLY IS!!!" she then motioned a signal to something behind her, yelling, "GIRLS! IT'S HIM! IT'S REALLY HIM!! COME HERE!!! WE FOUND HIM!!!!"

...a whole group?! 

X and Axl proceeded to back away slowly, but unfortunately for Zero, he wasn't able to do the same, a storm of teenage girls (both humans and Reploids) came out of an alley and ran up to him, bombarding him with squeals, questions, and adoration.

"I LOVE YOU, ZERO!!!"

What?

"KISS ME, ZERO!!!"

Huh?!

"ZERO!!! SIGN MY FANFIC!!!"

F-fanfic?!

Zero's face just stayed in a state of shock, this wasn't the first time he met someone like this, but to see so many in one place... it was overwhelming, to say the least.

X was watching this disaster unravel before his very eyes, his face in a state of pure horror, someone needed to help Zero, but X was the one carrying the groceries, which meant he had to choose between helping him or keeping the groceries safe, being the good person (or Reploid) he was, he dropped the groceries on the ground and ran up to help his best friend.

"Take care of the groceries for me!" X called out to Axl, who quickly grabbed the bags, without thinking, he rushed to where Zero was and grabbed his arm, Zero, who was understandably sweating bullets by now, turned around and saw Axl mouthing the words, "Follow me!" they looked at X, who nodded, knowing what to do.

_______________________________________________

While Zero and Axl ran from the angry crowd, X tried desperately to calm them down, before the angry teenagers could chase Zero down, X blocked their way, the entire crowd stopped and went quiet.

Thing is, now he couldn't tell whether he made things better or worse.

The Reploid leading the pack clenched her fists, "Grrrr.... LET US SEE ZERO!" She yelled, the rest of the pack raising their fists in the air.

X would rather be anywhere else right now, but he learnt from experience that you'd have to stay calm if you want to handle hyperactive teens.

X sighed deeply, then said as clearly and sternly as possible, "Not until all of you explain yourselves." he paused, "I don't want to resort to violence, but I will if absolutely necessary, so can all all of you co-operate with me?" He took another deep breath and hoped that things would slowly resolve peacefully-

"HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE WITH OUR PLANS OF MEETING ZERO?!" One of them yelled, the others shouted simillar things in agreement.

They started trying to push past him, but he somehow managed to keep them from going on a rampage.

...Unfortunately, life, as he should've figured out ages ago, was never that simple.

_______________________________________________

MEANWHILE...

_______________________________________________

The two were escaping the crowd so quickly that it was all a blur to Zero, all he knew was that he needed to run, fast.

Eventually, they found a hiding spot in an alley, Axl put down the groceries that he had held in one hand, the other he had used to hold Zero's hand as they were running away.

After a few moments of catching their breaths, Axl turned to look at Zero and said, "Zero, I've never seen you like this before, you'd usually keep your cool around admirers, but I've never seen you- well, you know what I'm talking about."

"Well... yeah, I would, but there's just...so many of them." He panted, still exhausted from running.

"Heh, I suppose so." Axl said, "Y'know, Zero, to be honest, I think it's kinda obvious that you'd have obsessive fangirls stalking you."

"Hm? What's that supposed to mean?" Zero asked, what was so special about him? He was just another Hunter doing his job, that was all.

"Eheh, Zero, it's actually kinda suprising that you don't know." he said,  "You've just got those qualities that fangirls seem to love."

"O-okay..." Zero stammered, he didn't know why he was the one people seemed to be attracted to, and he didn't care, he just hoped that X could manage the mob all by himself.

What was he thinking? Of course X could manage it, if he managed to defeat Sigma multiple times by himself, then of course he could manage a crowd of screaming fangirls.

"...Hello? EARTH TO ZERO!" Axl yelled, Zero immediately snapped out of his thoughts.

"Zero, this is no time to be zoning out!" Axl told him, "We'll need to get back out there before X becomes roadkill!"

"Yeah, you're right." Zero said, "I don't want to give him any more trouble than I already have, besides, I think I've calmed down a little." He paused, looking at Axl, "So? Hurry up, we don't want to keep him waiting, do we?"

"Y-yeah, right!" Axl grabbed the grocery bags and quickly followed behind Zero, he hated being rushed, but it was understandable in this case.

_______________________________________________

Eventually, Zero and Axl caught sight of X, who was currently holding back against the tackle of an angry fangirl (and resisting the pull on one of his feet thanks to another), they stopped and let go at the sight of the two other Hunters.

"Zero, Axl! Thank goodness both of you are back! I was really worried about you two, plus I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold b-" X was interrupted by heaps of incomprehensible screaming, "ZERO!!! OHMIGOSH, I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU DECIDED TO COME BACK! CAN YOU TAKE A SELFIE WITH ME?!"

X yelled out loudly enough for the two Hunters to just barely hear him, "I'm sorry, Zero! I tried reasoning with them, but I think they'll only listen to you!"

"It's alright, X, I'll handle this." Zero stepped forward, the fangirls were  getting closer, "Okay, can any of you explain this?" He said as sternly as possible, something he was thankfully very good at.

One of the fangirls stepped in front, she seemed to be a mixture of shy, anxious, nervous and timid at the same time, she might've been the most sane of the crowd, "'Uh, Ummm, w-where do I start?! Uh, it's just t-that we're all your biggest fans. a-and w-we started a club dedicated to fangirling, all a-about you, of course," she was getting red in the face, obviously embarrassed, "I-it started off with just t-talking about you and writing s-silly fanfiction, but over time. we started doing m-more, ummm, questionable things, like..." Her voice trailed off, "Like...what?" Zero asked, not realizing that he had probably made one of the worst mistakes in his life, he could hear Axl give him a sigh of disapproval in the background and X backing away slowly.

The girl was a stuttering mess by now, the words at the tip of her tongue, but they wouldn't come out, perhaps it was for the best, Zero thought.

"You don't have to, it's fine, if it makes you feel that uncomfortable, then you should stop." he said, everyone sighed a breath of relief, Zero was glad that he dodged a bullet there.

"Anyway, I suppose I should ask you, how'd you manage to know where I was?" He asked, hoping that it was just stalking, and nothing else-

"Um- uhhhh.... I-we...ermmm..." her face was getting hot and sweaty, and was almost, if not redder than Zero's armor, suddenly, one of the fangirls from the crowd raised her voice.

"It was only a matter of stalking, sheesh, why are you such a mess?"

Someone else spoke up, "...And in order to do that, someone thought it was a good idea to break into Maverick Hunter HQ."

The club leader was getting red in the face, "H-hey!  It's not l-like we had any other options! Besides, it w-was a decision we a-all agreed on!"

The timid fangirl, the first to speak up inhaled, and then said, "No, it wasn't!  You FORCED us to agree! And even then, only two others volunteered for the break-in!"

Axl decided to speak up, "Besides," he said, "Wasn't there a better, more sane option? Wouldn't any normal human being- or Reploid just, I dunno, walk up to the nearest person and ask, 'Hey, do you happen to know where Zero was headed?' You know, something that DIDN'T involve breaking the law?"

"NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, LOSER!' The club leader screamed.

"Okay, I just want everyone to stop," X raised his voice, "Can we just talk it out without a second of shouting?"

"..."

"Alright," Zero continued interrogating the group, "So you broke into Hunter Base, and how'd you find out where I was?"

"Oh, we broke in, grabbed some purple-haired Navigator chick by the neck and asked where you were headed." 

Purple-haired Navigator... could it have been... Layer?!

"Y-you what?!" All three of them were shocked beyond any further wording.

One of the fangirls also decided to speak up, "You almost got arrested there! We saw it all through the side window!"

"But at least we didn't!" The club leader yelled, her sapphire eyes giving an angry glare.

Finally, X decided to get his point across, "So, what I'm getting here is that you broke into HQ without any sort of authorization and threatened a Navigator who had little to nothing to do with this, on the chance that she knew Zero's location, that's punishable by law!"

"Yeah!" Axl joined in, "You could get arrested by the police at any time now- wait, we basically are the police!" He smirked.

Zero smiled, "There's no need to arrest anyone, Axl, look at who's coming."

They all turned their attention to several Ride Chasers with the Maverick Hunter logo on them, Zero flashed a quick thumbs up towards a Hunter he recognized from his own unit.

"Sorry 'o keep 'ou waiting, sir." He apologized, "There was a bit o' a delay tracking 'em down, Didn't even expect you to be involved in this! Did anything bad 'appen to you, sir?"

Zero shook his head, giving another small smile, "There wasn't any trouble at all, don't worry." X shot him a look that was somewhat angry and teasing at the same time.

"That's good to hear, sir, now if you don't mind me, I'll 'ave to arrest these folks, HQ's probably gonna let 'em off with a bit o' the ole' interrogation, well, minus the ones who broke in an' threaten'd that Navigator, 'ope that lass is alright."

While a few members were kicking and screaming as they were being handcuffed, the rest accepted their punishment with no problem.

Before they were taken away, Zero decided to say one last thing, "You know, if you asked nicely without the aggresiveness, I would've been glad to give an autograph or something."

One of the fangirls turned around and said, "We know, well most of us, anyway, but thanks for putting an end to Liz's madness, most of us were too terrified of her to object to anything."

Liz turned out to be the Reploid leading the club, she was screaming agressively, trying to free herself of the handcuffs.

Zero laughed a little, "No problem, I hope this'll be an important lesson for all of you."

_______________________________________________

"Hey, Axl, Remind me to request higher security once we get back to HQ." X said as they were walking to Dr. Cain's house, it was already late in the evening, he was probably already worried sick.

"Sure, we don't want anything like that to happen ever again, after all!" He grinned.

"By the way, Axl, I remember you telling me that I have qualities that fangirls seem to love." Zero said, "What exactly did you mean by that?"

"Hm? What's this? Something I missed out on?" X smiled.

Zero told him what had happened in the alley.

"Well, I can certaintly see what Axl meant by that." X nodded.

"Hm?"

"Well, to answer your question, Zero," Axl grinned, "You're insanely cool, and not just character-wise, they probably have a thing for your hair and the rest of your appearance, too."

"Oh, this?" He looked at himself, "I really don't see what's so appealing about it, looks too flashy to me."

"Riiight, clearly whoever made you cared more about your design than fixing your agonizing unawareness issue." Axl groaned.

Axl took out his phone and opened up some sort of social networking app, X and Zero stared to look at what he was doing.

Soon enough, he opened up some sort of tabloid profile, one of their latest posts was a poll titled, "Which of these Maverick Hunters is the Hottest?" And surprise, surprise, all three of them were the poll options.

It hadn't even been out for a day and the poll already had over 10,000 votes, Zero ranked first with 71%, X with 10% and Axl with 19%.

"See? Told ya, Zero, people go crazy for the hair." Axl grinned.

 Zero wasn't sure whether to be flattered or embarrased to rank first, he didn't look that good to people, did he?

No matter, it didn't matter if he was the most attractive or not, what mattered most was whatever he was tasked to do in the present.

Eventually, they reached Dr. Cain's house, way later than they thought they'd be, of course.

"So all of you are finally here! I was getting very worried, did something happen?" The old archaeologist asked.

"Let's just say that we ran into a bit of...trouble." Zero forced a smile.

"No matter, I'm just glad you managed to come, thanks for taking care of the groceries, I'm sure I can count on you again, right?" He chuckled.

"Dr. Cain, I'm sorry, but with all due respect, never again." Axl said.

_______________________________________________

(Author's Note): I had a bit of writer's block writing this chapter, but I managed to get it done! I wanted to write a chapter with the kinda-4th-wall-break about Zero having fangirls, it took a long time to finish this one because I had to change some major plot points along the way, it was tiring, but I think it was worth it!

[believethaticanandiwill]

Stay Here Tonight

So I wasn’t going to continue this but somebody commented asking for more. I feel like this is as far as it’s going to go now, but that doesn't mean that I don't have any more stories. it’s just difficult finding time to write when I work 50hrs a week. Thank you all for your notes and likes, it really has boosted my confidence. I know they're not perfect, but hopefully one day, I’ll be as good as everybody else writing in this fandom.  I’ve tried to link the previous parts. I'm still new to Tumblr so I'm not sure I've done it right but oh well. Tagging @kneekeyta @lily-pop-2 @eveerez @mmfdfanfic

Part One       Part Two

“Stay here tonight.”

It’s been nine days since the night that the horrible ordeal had taken place. He wishes he could forget but he can’t. It’s been eight nights that he’s woken during the night to either the bed shaking from her quiet sobs, or worse, her loud panicked screams. If he can’t get it off his mind, then he’s not sure how anyone expects Rae to. She’s the one who experienced it not him. He’s sat on the lounge absolutely shattered. Its 5pm and although he wanted to start the fixings for dinner off, you know give his dad a hand, he hasn’t got the energy. He thinks to himself, he’ll give it an extra ten minutes, and then he’ll start. He doesn’t know what he’d do without his dad. He’d been there at his beckon and call. Finn’s not really had to ask for much the last few days, his dad had always just been there, with whatever if was Finn needed. Rae shifts slightly and he looks down to track her movement. She’s got her head in his lap, she’s fast asleep, and when she looks this still and peaceful, like the other night hadn’t happened, it gives him hope that she’ll be able to get through it eventually. His eyes brim with tears, he thinks he’s done well to keep it together recently, in fact bar the night he went to collect her, he’s not really cried at all. He feels like crying all the time. The pain in her screams, her begging ‘please get off me’, in the early hours, almost brings him to tears, but if she was to come-to, to him crying, well that’s something he doesn’t want her to deal with. He wants her to know she can tell him anything, and her finding him crying isn’t going to do anything but stop her from telling him things.  

He softly strokes her hair, careful not to disturb her sleep. He hears a key turning in the front door as a few of his tears tail down his cheeks. He keeps his head down as his dad walks through to the lounge calling an “evening son”, while squeezing his shoulder in only a parental way. Finn doesn’t say anything, he can’t. He’s too overcome with emotions to vocalise any sort of reply, so he just stays softly stroking Rae’s hair. He hears something being placed on the table and looks up to see his dad placing a cup of tea on top. “Tea makes everything alright, ay son” just a few simple words from his dad and his front is broken. He carefully lifts Rae’s head off his lap and places it onto a cushion, before walking into the kitchen, his dad hot on his footsteps. Once in the kitchen with the door closed he lets it all out, his dad catching him in his arms. He’s not sure how long he’s spent in his dad’s arms, but he’s not ashamed. He’s been a daddy’s boy for as long as he can remember, even before his mum left. She never was much interested in him to be honest, always thought he was in the way. He remembers trying to be a brave big boy when he found out she left for good, didn’t bother his dad much, made out like he was fine with the new reduced living arrangements, but in the small of the night, he’d crawl into his dads bed and slot himself into his dads arms.

“You need some sleep son, everything is always a lot harder to deal with when you’re running off hardly any sleep”. Finn nods, he knows this, it’s just so hard to sleep when the girl you’re in love with is verging on a panic attack or a flashback. “I’m sorry dad, this mustn’t be easy on you. Rae’s not sleeping well, I try to calm her quickly; I try not to wake you. I don’t know though, it’s always worse when she’s been to see Kester.” Gary swallows, he’s got his own tears in his eyes “it’s alright, can’t be helped son, I just wished there was something I could do to help.”

*************************************

Finn was shocked earlier this afternoon when he found Rae on his doorstep, she looked pale, and exhausted but the smile she’d gave him warmed him. He’d helped her up and led her into the lounge where they’d spent the majority of the remaining afternoon talking and cuddling. She’d explained how her therapy session with her mum and Kester had gone. As he had thought, her mum wasn’t one hundred per cent certain on what had actually happened, and in true Earl/Booshtat women fashion, they’d come to heads, which had resulted in Rae walking back to Finns. Rae had explained how her mum had called her foolish for not reporting this to the police, and Rae had told her mum that she obviously didn’t care much, if she had only just realised the extent of that night, over a week later. Finn had tried to explain to Rae that while Linda calling her foolish had been wrong, it was more likely a slip of the tongue, through worry for her daughter. After Rae had settled down, Finn had wrapped her in a blanket and they’d settled down to watch a few films, but Rae hadn’t made it ten minutes in before nodding off. He suspected Linda would be round tonight to collect her daughter, as there had been an on going argument the last three about Rae’s refusal to go home.

******************************

Finn finally lets his worries slip and confines in his dad, “Da, I’m worried what will happen when Rae goes home, I suspect Linda will be round for her tonight, and if I’m not there, and Rae needs me, what’s going to happen?”

“It’ll be alright, Rae can call at any hour, I can drive you round if need be, and anyway, Rae is always welcome here. Whenever, even if you’re not here.” Finn nods and before he can answer there’s a distant knocking on the door. He makes his way through the living room, Rae still sleeping on the couch, she must really need it, and if it were up to him, he’d leave her sleeping. Once he gets to his door he knows who it is by their silhouette. “Hi Linda”, he smiles as he opens the door, Linda smiles back and makes her way past Finn. She’d been round a lot over the last week, and so her making her own way through his house is nothing new. He closes the door softly behind her and follows her through to the living room hoping she hasn’t woken Rae yet. If anybody is going to wake her it should be him, providing she came here to see him, and he’s the only one she trusts enough to fall asleep in the company of. When he reaches the living room however, he’s shocked to find Linda with tears in her eyes, gazing down at her daughter, he notes that her breath is quite short, so he walks over to her and slowly puts an arm over her shoulder. He hopes he hasn’t freaked her out with his weird behaviour, but Linda must find it comforting as she tucks herself into his chest. She cries softly on his shoulder, and for a while there’s nothing but the silence and Rae’s occasional soft snore. “How did I miss it” he can hear her mutter to herself over and over along with the occasional outpour about her being the worst mum. Finn knows that no matter how much of a fight and protest Rae puts up tonight, Linda will not leave this house without her so he thinks its about time he lets Linda in on what she should expect.

“I know tonight is the night that you’ll be taking Rae home even if she does protest, but before you wake her I think you need to know that she’s been having these panic attacks, and these ermmm flashbacks. Sometimes maybe once a night, however, really its normally about three.” he breaths “She she screams out quite a lot, and if she doesn’t scream, then she sobs, like uncontrollably. Some nights its been really difficult to calm her, however although its not guaranteed, she settles if I pull her into my chest, or cradle her in my arms, sing to her, or put the radio on. Once she’s calmed enough, I usually get her a bru, or an orange juice, just something sweet to help with the shock and then when she’s ready, I stroke her hair while she falls back to sleep.” he’s exhausted thinking about it. He’s not sure how Linda is going to be able to manage when she’s almost eight months pregnant. She already looks almost as tired as he does, and he knows she’s had a lot more sleep than he has.

“I didn’t know she was having nightmares, I, err thanks Finn for all you’ve done, I do appreciate it, but Rae needs to come home now, get back to normal, it’s the only way she’s going to move on from this. And I don’t approve of you sharing a bed. Your dad might have not cottoned on yet, but I have.”

“Look, we’re not having sex if that’s what you’re thinking. I couldn’t not after something like this. It’s just, Rae wont settle if I’ve not been there. I’m sorry I went against your wishes but I just wanted to do right by Rae, make sure I could provide her with everything she needed. And if that means going against your wishes then I did it still. I just tried to do what I thought was best. For her.” he feels embarrassed that he’s just openly admitted to sleeping in the same bed as Rae, and even more mortified that he’s used the word sex in her mothers company. Something behind Linda’s eye shifts and her face is soft and compassionate.

“Finn, I wasn’t having a dig, I do appreciate everything you have done. And if she’s been having nightmares and she’s needed you then I too will turn a blind eye to the bed sharing. However, I do think it’s time she comes home, she’s got to start feeling comfortable in her own company again. Chloe’s been on the phone nonstop asking when she’ll be home too. I suspect she’s rang here too.”

*********************************************************************

Fucking Chloe he thinks, no of course Chloe hadn’t rang him. She wouldn’t dare, not when she’s the reason why Rae ended up in this mess. When Izzy called round the start of the week she had been absolutely furious. So furious in fact he’d had to call Chop and get him round. Chop had been taken a back by Rae’s appearance; he’d noted how pale and fragile she looked. Rae had done nothing but sob after they left that night, and even the following morning she’d been a little teary. That was until a parcel had arrived at Finns for her, consisting of a fresh dressing gown and some slippers with ‘The Daddy’ quoted on them. That night Finn had rang Chop and thanked him after he’d settled Rae. He contemplates telling Linda about Chloe but settles on not, if Rae wanted her to know it all she would have told her already.

**************************************************

 “How long has she been sleeping for? We really should be getting a move on.” Linda questions. Finn looks over to the clock; he knows if he says exactly how long, Linda will wake her. “Erm I’m not too sure, not too long, I know she came straight here after walking out of Kester’s…” Linda’s eyes drop guiltily, Finn notices. “She was a bit upset when she got here, so we talked a bit and then watched some TV, so maybe not that long after all. I think she really needs it to be honest, she’s not slept much the last two nights.”

 As if it had been rehearsed, his dad walks out of the kitchen asking Linda if she would like a bru and a chat. Linda takes one final look at Rae before agreeing with Gary. Finn smiles at his dad in thanks as they head back into the kitchen, where he knows his dad will try to keep Linda occupied for as long as he can, so he can prepare Rae. He perches on the coffee table in front of Rae, his elbows resting on his knees, hands around his mouth, just watching her. He notices her eyes are twitching quite a lot, and he wonders if she’s beginning to wake up. He ponders on what he’s going to tell her, how is he going to break it to her that even though she’s told him that she doesn’t feel safe without him, her mums here and she is going to have to go home tonight. His head hurts with him thinking about it.

 Rae stretches and yawns, her eyes are still closed but her right hand moves above her head as if she’s searching for something, when she reaches as far as she can and still she’s empty handed, she bolts upright, searching. Finn isn’t sure what she’s looking for but her bolting awake like that has him worrying for her “hey, it’s okay… you’re okay Rae, you’re safe.” he reassures her. Rae’s eyes lock on his and her worried expression changes to one of relief. She smiles as if she’s embarrassed to have been caught in such a panic. Finn returns the smile as he takes a seat next to her. He wraps his left arm around her shoulder and she settles into his chest. His leg shakes and he knows he’ll have to break it to her soon, but he doesn’t know how. “Just tell me.” she speaks softly. Finn wraps her in both his arms and drops a kiss onto her hair, “I’m sorry Rae, but your mums here. She won’t leave you another night.” He feels her nod and before long he feels a droplet of her tears land on his arm “I tried Rae, I tried to explain that you need comforting, and that you feel slightly calmer here, but she said you need to get used to being in your own company again. I do agree with her, but not this soon.”

 Rae continues to nod her head, she continues to cry too. Finn drops kiss after kiss onto her hair; he’s unashamed that he’s softly crying also. “I don’t want to go, I like being here with you. I feel safe with you. When I’m alone I panic and I think he’s going to find me, he’s going to come out of the shadows.” All Finn can reply is that he knows, and that she’ll be safe at home too. “I love having you here Rae, and if it were up to me, I’d let you stay, but it isn’t. You can call me whenever though, whatever you need okay, all you have to do is call me.” He kisses her hair again; over and over hoping to show her how much he loves her. He isn’t sure how long they’ve both been allowed to sit there peacefully in each other’s company, but he knows their time together is running thin. Just as he’s about to air his concern over this, the kitchen door opens, and out walks his dad, followed by Linda. He feels Rae tense, so he pulls her closer and whispers she’ll be okay. “Rae love, its about time we head home now, don’t you think?” she doesn’t reply, just pushes her head deeper into Finn’s chest. Linda continues once she notices her daughter isn’t going to reply, “Finn can visit, he can call…” still there isn’t a reply from Rae, “what do you say about coming round for tea Wednesday, you too Gary. I’ll even do hotpot Rae, I know it’s your favourite.” Linda looks over to Finn with pleading eyes; he can tell that this is taking much more work than she bargained for.  He’s not happy about being told he can call round for tea in two days, what about tomorrow for fucks sake, he’s cared for Rae hourly over the last week or so, and for Linda to turn around and tell him to call round for tea in two days is an insult. He knows he can’t show his anger, for one it might scare Rae, but it could also make it a lot harder for her to leave to, so he takes a deep breath before speaking so softly, “Yes, I’ll come for tea, but I’ll also call round tomorrow Rae, and you know, you just call me, I’ll be there.” Rae nods, and although Linda looks slightly miffed, Finn can tell that she’s also made up with Rae’s co-operation.

 Finn had forgot his dad was in the room by the time Gary speaks up “I’ll just go and get your bags Rae.” and off he pops up the stairs. Linda starts on straight away about how it’s the best thing that them being this close isn’t healthy, that Rae depending on Finn only is unfair on Finn. Rae takes a sharp intake of breath and Finn wants to scream, he can feel Rae lifting her head off his chest so he speaks his mind. “No Linda, No. I’m sorry but please don’t make out like Rae is a burden. Yes this last week might have been a difficult, stressful and very upsetting week, but I like being able to take care of Rae, I don’t mind supporting her. And, I definitely don’t mind being there to support her.” He breathes deeply before speaking, “Rae, whatever you need, I’ve got you. I love you. Okay?” Rae nods her head before smiling up at him; she squeezes his hand as well for good measure. She stands and holds her hand out for Finn.

 Not two minutes later she’s sat in the passenger’s side of her mum’s car, Finn is crouched down making sure her belt is secure. She strokes his face and whispers a “Thanks Finn.” her eyes are wet with tears and she’s happy her mum and Gary are still filling the boot with her stuff, “I love you” she whispers. Finn looks up at her and smiles before leaning in and giving her a quick kiss. “And I you, Mae” Finn thinks Linda has rudely burst their bubble the way she settles behind the steering wheel. She looks at them both as if to say ‘right come on get a move on’, Finn feels slightly guilty, he’d forgotten that she was so heavily pregnant until he saw how close her stomach was to the steering wheel. He smiles over at Linda as a goodbye and then stands; he kisses Rae on her forehead before speaking “sleep well girl” and softly shutting the door. His dad is waiting on the doorstep, so Finn joins him in waving them both off. Once Linda’s car is off the drive and out of sight he lets his tears flow. He follows his dad into the living room and takes a seat on the couch; it still feels warm from where Rae had spent the afternoon snoozing. His dad sits next to him and shoulders him softly, and Finn crumbles, he spends the remainder of the night in his dad’s arms softly crying.

 ********************************

 He wakes with a bolt. His soaking with sweat and his breath is short and fast. It takes him a few seconds to realise that Rae isn’t in bed with him, that she went back home earlier. He looks over to his bedside clock and sees that its 2:27am, he’s had a good solid five hours sleep and he’s sure he could do with another five. He lays back and tries to settle, but still 30 minutes later, his heart is still beating a little to fast, his breath isn’t as steady as it should be and he’s still pretty hot. He contemplates doing something he hasn’t done for years; well not if he’s been sober. He gives himself another 15 minutes but he can’t for the life of him calm. Quietly he tiptoes out of his room and down the hall. He stops outside his dads bedroom door and listens for any source of movement, after thirty seconds or so, he knocks his dads door open gently, he really doesn’t want to wake him but is need for comfort is too strong. He paces over to his dads bed and stands looking at him at the side, he’s not sure how to wake him, should he just slide in next to him or should he wake him? He settles on waking him, that way his dad isn’t going to freak out or anything. “Daa” he whispers, Gary doesn’t even move, Finn repeats himself a fraction louder while softly shaking the bed. He’s not sure if it’s the increase in his volume, or the bed shaking, but Gary sits up and looks at him. Without a word being said Gary knows what he’s after, he pulls back the duvet for Finn to slide in before laying back down. Finn feels the tension leaving his body almost instantly, he rolls onto his side to look at his dad “I’m sorry dad, I shouldn’t have come in here like that, I just can’t settle.” His dad looks at him with so much compassion, “Oh my boy, come here.” before pulling a sobbing Finn into his chest.

 There’s a persistent ringing in his ear, its pretty annoying, its disturbing him from his sleep he so desperately craves. He’s not sure how long he’s been asleep for this time, but its still dark out, and his eyes are heavy. He hears his dad grumble a “Lo… right yeah, he’s here, we’ll be right there.” and he sits up because he knows Rae needs him. He’s out of his dads bed before his dad has even put the phone back on the receiver, he’s out of his room in his boots before his dad has even got his jumper on, and he’s at the bottom of the stairs coat on ready to go before his dad has even made it too the top. He looks himself over in the mirror and thinks ‘plaid pyjama bottoms and military boots, god I’m such a catch’. But it’s Rae so he can’t bring himself to care. He’s thankful that at this time of the morning the trip to Rae’s is no longer than five minutes, He’s scared at what he’s going to find, what state she’ll be in. If Linda had listened to him, and didn’t separate them the way she did, there’s a chance that Rae wouldn’t be so bad tonight.  When his dad pulls up outside, they find Karim on the doorstep waiting for her. Finn has always appreciated Karim, even though he’s quiet, Finn knows he’s a kind quiet and special person. Karim greets Finn with an awkward hug, while speaking in his broken English, “Rae- upstairs. She sad. Cry and shout for Finn much.” Finn nods and understands that yes, Rae is upstairs in her bedroom and yes, she is having the same sort of night terrors, she’s had pretty much every night since. Finn makes his way up and finds Linda stood in the doorway of her bedroom. He thinks its weird that she’s stood there and not checking on Rae. He makes his way to Rae’s room before, he hears Rae calling for him and her mum telling her he’s on his way. Finn turns and walks towards her voice and what he sees breaks him over again, for Rae is scrunched up in her bed, shaking with sobs. He’s at her side as quick as his feet will allow him “it’s alright Girl, I’m here, you’re safe.” Rae is quick to wrap her arms around him and pull him down next to her. He sits up on the bed and pulls Rae into his arms, cradling her, with her head against his shoulder. While Rae is still crying and shaking through fear, Linda notices that she isn’t screaming out anymore, and her breathing is returning to normal. Finn holds her as tight to his chest as possible, and softly calms her. He kisses her head regularly. Once Rae is settled and her sobs aren’t as prominent, Finn asks Linda if there is any way she could switch the radio on. Linda gets to it, happy to be able to help, she goes into the wardrobe and pulls out a etherdown and wraps it around Rae and Finn, before pushing Finns fridge out of his eyes, in a way only a parent can manage, before asking if he would like a bru. Finn nods his head in thanks, and Linda makes her way out. She waddles and Finn worries that she’s going to go into early labour if she doesn’t rest. Once Rae is calm and back to her usual self, he sparks up conversation about how nice her new room is, she agrees and yawns. “Just try and stay awake for a bit girl, I’d want you to get some sugar in you before you drift off.” She nods her head and Finn kisses her head. Linda returns with a tray of tea and they all sit on Rae’s new bed drinking in silence. Rae hands Finn her cup to place on the bedside table and he happily notices that she’s drank over half. He stands up and pulls Rae up before pulling back her blankets; once she’s in he recovers her and sits on the edge, stroking her hair. Rae holds his hand tight while she drops off. Once he’s sure he sleeps, he tries to loosen his hand from Rae’s, he’s about to ask if it is okay for him to spend the night in the living room when Linda speaks up. “Stay here tonight, I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I didn’t realise they would be so bad.” she sobs. Finn nods and then decides it’s about time Linda gets some sleep too. “You look just as tired as me. You need your rest Linda; baby will be here before you know it. I’ve got Rae; it’s about time you look after yourself for now.” Linda Smiles and kisses his cheek. “You’re a good Lad Finn, I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. Try and get some sleep okay?” He nods in response. Once Linda has left the room, Finn toes off his boots and settles in behind Rae. In her sleep she turns to face him and he pulls her tightly into his chest. It doesn’t take long for him to nod off into a peaceful sleep, Rae back in his arms where she belongs.

[marinamumbo]

Omg amazing! I was tagged by @its-barbara-you-fucks tysm<3

~Rules~ Always post the rules. Answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you. Write 11 questions of your own. Tag 11 people.

1. which tumblr are u most inspired by?

Ermmm I am SOO out of touch w my tumblr atm it’s just a mess of drag race and pink things - so I guess if you post about drag race or pink things you inspire me<3

2. what would u do with £1000000?

Oh God urmm I’d by some funky clothes and give a bunch to charity (coz I want y’all to think I’m a good person) but I’d also do a HELL OF a lotta travelling<3

3. what do u like most about urself?

OoooOoo I love to think about why I’m doing what I’m doing and where my actions and responses to anything are coming from and therefore I love doing this with other people as well - so I guess I’m good at understanding usually people on a very deep level and I like that<3

4. favourite song atm?

Hearts Ain’t Gonna Lie by Arlissa & Jonas Blue<3

5. who has inspired you most? and why?

My Mummy I guess coz she’s an angel that is so loving and kind and persistent I love Julie<3 

6. what do u like doing in your free time?

I like reading (except I can’t wait to do it alot more once school is over) and I love movies so anything that allows for some chill time, but I laos love realll long conversations with people I’m close to<3

7. recently played on ur spotify/apple music/etc?

Curious by Hayley Kiyoko<3

8. favourite movie?

The Incredibles idec<3

9. singing dancing or acting?

Dancingggg....?<3

10. if u could live anywhere where would it be?

Italyyy - I’ve never been but always wanted to visit<3

11. dream job?

Any kind of performer lmao<3

OKAY NOW I GOTTA SET QUESTIONS SO...

1) How are you feeling rn?

2) Which piece of clothing is your fav atm?

3) What is the last film you saw?

4) Do you believe in aliens?

5) Fav ice cream flavour?

6) Fav breakfast foods?

7) Where would you like to visit most?

8) Explain your username?

9) Would you rather be able to play all instruments or be able to speak all languages?

10) Is there anything gettin you down atm?

11) How is 2018 going for y’all so far?

I shall tag (lol if we don’t talk I’ve tagged all mutals so...like...we should maybe idk if ya wanna?): @bluewillowxx @katyazeroni @pygmypuff4life @pax-lavender @esa-shygurl @deepsharkstudent @heyheyarnold @westerndenim @bruhslsprout @locallesbiansquish

[park-j1m1n-bts]

“Should we know us a little better” Tag RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people I was tagged by: @justbeingbrookee THANK YOUU BABE💛hopefully I’ll be able to answer all! THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water, it is so hot right now in England so I’ve been drinking GALLONS 🤤. 2. Phone call: I don’t often call people but it was probably my mum. 3. Text message: My bestie . 4. Song you listened to: Currently listening to Monsta X’s new song “Shine Forever” 🔥🔥 5. Time you cried: oh god I cry all the time 🙈 last time I full on cried was about a week ago before my last uni exam! God I was stressed!! 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: YES 10. Been depressed: no, I always try to be happy and positive 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no, I’ve got a strong stomach and can handle my drink pretty well 😎 LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Ooo this is hard, it changes all the time but at the moment: Pink, Yellow and pale green. IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yessss, met some lovely people at uni 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: haha all the time!!! 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yep constantly 💁 people just hate to see you happy 🐸☕️ 19. Met someone who changed you: ermmm don’t think so 20. Found out who your friends are: Hell yeah, when you are away from home for most of the year it is interesting to see who stays in contact. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All, I only add people I have see in real life 23. Do you have any pets: yes!! Two gorgeous dogs 24. Do you want to change your name: no, I’m quite happy with mine :) 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i’m not someone to have a big celebration, I think I just went to the beach with my family and watched some films 26. What time did you wake up: 6:30 AM ugh work 😞 27. What were you doing at midnight last: YOUTUBE! Omg I’m obsessed I could spend hours and hours watching videos! can’t really remember exactly what video but I know it was BTS related. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: To be able to drive 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 10 mins ish ago. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I love my life! I would not change a single bit, anything negative has shaped me into the person I am today 🤗 31. What are you listening right now: Binge listening to Monsta X today!! I love them. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My brothers name is Tom soooo yes! Haha I love him so much we are so close 💑 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the heat definitely and responsibilities haha! Come back from uni expecting to relax but no, need to earn money, need to learn to drive etc ugh 34. Most visited Website: Youtube 100% 35. Mole/s: I have a lot of freckles?? Same thing or not I don’t know 36. Mark/s: I have 3 birthmarks and a chicken pox scar on my left cheek 37. Childhood dream: Okay this is gonna sound weird but I had a recurring dream where it was my job to push different size balls down their according tubes and I remember waking up panicking because I accidentally jammed a big ball down a small tube ….. haha god knows what was wrong with me 38. Hair color: brunette 39. Long or short hair: medium length. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: other than idols 😅 I don’t think so… 41. What do you like about yourself: oh nooo this is a horrible question! I seriously lack self confidence so this is going to be tough…. I would like to think I am a kind person, I am not someone who ever is nasty to anyone and I always try to see the good in everyone 42. Piercings: One in each ear 43. Bloodtype: no idea … 44. Nickname: don’t think I have one … 45. Relationship status: Single 💁 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: she/her/they 48. Favorite TV Show: I’m a sucker for crime/detective dramas so like Silent Witness or Death in Paradise 49. Tattoos: not yet 50. Right or left hand: right handed 51. Surgery: nope 52. Piercing: still one in each ear 👀. 53. Sport: HAHA great joke. 55. Vacation: Haven’t been abroad in ages because of my dogs but anywhere with my family I’m happy! . 56. Pair of trainers: I’m really bad when it comes to trainers, I always end up by the expensive branded ones 😬😬. MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Just had a ham roll (classic) 58. Drinking: Water 59. I’m about to: Watch BTS’s V live as I got a notification halfway through doing this! 61. Waiting for: BTS to come to the UK 😪😪😪( a girl can dream) 62. Want: JIMIN!!! …. sorry er I mean…. chocolate errr yep chocolate 😅😅 63. Get married: Yessssss, just need a groom now 😪 64. Career: hopefully two more years at uni will help WHICH IS BETTER?: 65. Hugs or kisses: HUGSSSS I literally give hugs to everyone 66. Lips or eyes: I love people with good smiles so lips 67. Shorter or taller: its not a massive deal for me but if I got to choose it would be taller 68. Older or younger: Don’t particularly want a guy older than 21 or younger than 17 (I’m 19) 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: THIGHS. 71. Sensitive or loud: i am quite a quiet person, I find loud people quite intimidating 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship deffo!! 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: very hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nooo 75. Drank hard liquor: as a dare yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: 20/20 vision baby 😏. 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someones heart: don’t think so 80. Had your heart broken: no 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: 😶 DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: depends on the situation 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: until faced with this, who knows 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: no, I have to know the guy properly I think. 89. Angels: yes OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: He doesn’t want me to say his name but I only have one best friend and he is such a lovely person and I am so thankful that he is part of my life ❤️ 91. Eyecolor: green 92. Favorite movie: oooo tough question to finish off…. got to love anything with Jim Carey in

Wow! That was long but fun!!! I tag : @my-bts-obsession @heyhosam @bangtansonyeondarnit @kookiecat @strongjooheon @al3lora @starryyoongi @hyobincat @kaymaybeonfire @btserenity @panicattheswiftie @jiminismysnakeu @killerjulie @jeonnings @nini17 @randomlyguilty @trying-not-to-stan-another-group @notoverbtsyet @reiladay @kpop-and-animee I think that is 20!! Obviously you don’t have to do it but the option is there ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[bits4boys]

5 Reasons Why Your Website May Be Useless

Hey if I don’t tell you who will? Don’t take it personally as it’s not only you who’s been making these mistakes. So here goes and I really hope you can’t identify all the 5 reasons your website is useless in your business!

What We Need To Avoid

1. You used a site builder tool such as weebly, blogger, or web.com

Some people think that it’s great, it is so easy to build a site that way, it takes about 15 minutes and you have a fully functional site, right?

ermmm… Wrong

The reason why you shouldn’t use those tools is because there are millions of other people with your same basic layout. I was just looking at a few sites with people I have spoke with in the last 3-4 months who didn’t decide to use us to build their website and that is the solution they came up with.

Using a website builder, building a very very basic website that looks like it was built in the late 90′s early 2000′s. Do a search, find your competitors and look at their websites. Chances are they have a lot better site than you! Many of you have your own business.

Is starting a business and making it successful easy, is there a quickstart program to start making money overnight? No… Many of you should know better than to expect the quick and easy ways to actually work! You take your business seriously right? Your website is a virtual business card, that can change and update, it is an extension of your business and probably the most serious thing and way to generate more income!

2. Expecting that once your site is built, people will come!

Here is the next major issue. Just because you have a website now, doesn’t mean that it is worth anything, it doesn’t mean people are coming. So if you think of a website as something you can send your clients to, developing trust. Sure, that is an additional bonus of a website, but that is not what the purpose of a website is! You have to build up your traffic, whether it is through SEO or adwords or some kind of paid advertisement.

Having the best product in the world, or offering the best service there is, doesn’t mean people are going to buy it. You have to get it out there, push it, advertise, generate traffic!

3. Having a website that is not going to make you money.

Why would you even want a website unless you are going to make more money with it? This doesn’t mean you need to be selling products or services through your website, but it does mean that you should be getting leads with your website that will convert to sales! A simple home page, about us page, and contact page hardly is a website. The key here is to make money, right? If you aren’t generating a certain amount of leads or income through your website, you’re doing something wrong!

4. No meta tags, or on site optimization.

If you go to a site, look in the top of your browser. What is the title? If you see it say “Home” then they are not getting great results with their site. You need to optimize your site for search engines. That means having proper keywords, descriptions, titles, and alt tags for your website. Why is this important?

Your onsite optimization plays a huge role in getting your site found by targeted buyers. Some of you don’t even have meta tags. No keywords, no keywords in the title, no description. So even if for some very strange reason you do get ranked in google, yahoo, or bing, nobody is going to click on your site if you don’t even have a description! Now this isn’t going to give you massive amounts of traffic, but it is a necessity to do!

5. Because it looks horrible and like a school project!

Your website isn’t a place to test out new photoshop ideas that you are attempting to learn. It isn’t a place to try out all these different weird things that no one else will think is cool except you. I know it is fun learning new things, but this is your business!

I absolutely go insane if there is a problem with my server and it’s down for 15 minutes, in those 15 minutes I could have a very high profile website being sold, I take it very seriously. You should too! Swallow your pride, and brush up on your photoshop skills on a personal site or test site!

BONUS REASON: FLASH!!!

Never use flash, I know it looks cool and clean and it is really fun. Okay, so you might be thinking, why not use flash then? Because you won’t get the results you want in the search engines. It isn’t easy for a search engine to crawl through a flash site. AND, it is just too expensive to make changes.

If someone asks for even a flash banner, the price will typically be $1,000 minimum for the site with a flash banner. So you pay more, to have a site that won’t do well in search engines no matter what! Not only that, but how many times do YOU get a pop up that says your flash is outdated? How many people are out there that won’t even be able to VIEW your site?

You’re just losing out on business! And that sums it up guys and gals, I hope this was informative and beneficial to you. If you have any questions, feel free to email me back. In a follow-up post, I will be discussing the power of social networks for your business, and how to use them to get your website higher in the search engines!

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