#erin thomas x nestor oceteva

[drabbles-mc]

Doctor Recommended

Nestor Oceteva & Erin Thomas

For Day 6 of @whumpril's 2023 Challenge: painkillers/bad coping mechanisms

Warnings: 18+, language, alcohol, mentions of pills

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: In a twist that is shocking to no one at all, I do have a bigger fic about these two sitting in my wip folder as we speak. It exists completely separate from this one-shot, but it does exist. Despite the fact that the two of them have never shared a single second of screentime, you can catch me constantly thinking about Nestor and Erin together anyway. No one can stop me. 😌

Mayans Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @thesandbeneathmytoes @paintballkid711 @queenbeered @kelpies-shed @yourwonkywriter @gemini0410 @mijagif @amorestevens @garbinge @justreblogginfics @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @littlekittymeow @anditsmywholeheart @artemiseamoon @nessamc @crowfootwrites @beardburnsupersoldiers @winchestershiresauce @frattsparty @fanfic-n-tabulous @justazzi @passionatewrites @darqchilddaydreamz @camelia35 (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

The house was silent as Nestor made his way through to the kitchen. Despite the fact that the last forty-eight hours had gone horrendously, and that his right arm was now strapped down in a sling, he still was pulling his overnight watch at the Galindo house. Realistically, he didn’t know how much use he would be if something were to happen, but the house had yet to be ambushed in the dead of night so he figured it would be a relatively safe and easy shift.

For the few hours that he’d been there so far, everything had been quiet. Everyone was upstairs and, presumably, asleep. The house was as close to silent as it would ever be. Most of what he’d been doing was just patrolling and making sure that nothing looked like it was out of the ordinary.

Even though it’d been an uneventful night so far, it didn’t stop the shooting pain in his shoulder that was quickly starting to travel down his arm. The doctor had given him painkillers when he’d initially gotten checked out. The pain hadn’t been bad enough, in Nestor’s opinion, to warrant them yet. However, he also had no intention of spending the entire night in pain. So he made his way to the kitchen with the intention of finally taking a couple of the pills to at least take a bit of the edge off.

Erin was quietly making her way back to her room upstairs from the bathroom when she heard noises coming from downstairs. If it had been anyone else’s house, she would’ve assumed that it was nothing, but it wasn’t just anyone’s house. She didn’t pretend to know all the details of what Miguel got up to when he left the house, but she knew that things hadn’t been going well lately. After all, there was no other reason that the man would’ve called her and invited her to the house.

She was regretting all of that as she crept down the stairs and started making her way towards the noise. She knew that it was an ill-informed decision—it wasn’t like she had any weapons on her and she had no interest in getting into a brawl with an intruder, but it was too late now. She was too committed to the plan.

The closer she got to rounding the corner to get into the kitchen, the better she could make out some of the actual sounds. She heard someone grumbling but she couldn’t quite make out the words. Then she heard something clattering against the countertops. Her heart felt like it was starting to creep up into her throat as she tried to brace herself for rounding the corner.

She stepped into the kitchen with more speed and gusto than necessary, and with more than she thought she would be able to muster given the late hour. She was holding her breath, eyes wide as she looked around to see who was in the house and what was going on.

Her sudden appearance caught Nestor off-guard. The still-closed pill bottle in his hands slipped from his grasp and clattered against the counter again. He whipped around to face her, having to reach with his non-dominant hand for his gun, the motion much slower than it would’ve been if he actually had use of his right arm.

That turned out to be a good thing for both of them, though. In the time that it took for him to try and reach for his gun, he realized that it was only Erin, and the extra couple of seconds that she had on him because of her silent approach allowed her to see that it was only Nestor. As much as she hated that Miguel always seemed to have people wandering around the house at all hours, she was glad that he was at least supposed to be there.

“Fuck me,” she said, the words sounding more like a sigh of relief than anything else.

Nestor was struggling to re-holster his gun, eyes trained on that rather than Erin as he asked, “What are you doing up?”

She walked deeper into the kitchen, landing herself on the opposite side of the island from him. “I thought I heard someone breaking in to try and, I don’t know, kill everyone.” Even with her hushed voice, the sarcasm was impossible to miss.

He lifted his eyes and looked at her, eyebrows raised as he took in the sight of her in a ratty, over-sized t-shirt and pajama shorts. All he could think was that if he had been someone breaking in, Erin wouldn’t have posed much of a threat. “Planned on being the first to go?”

She laughed quietly and rolled her eyes. “Big talk coming from the guy who can’t pull his gun right now.” She leaned forward so that her forearms were braced against the countertop. “Why are you even here? Like, are you even useful right now?”

Nestor would’ve taken more time to be annoyed by her commentary if he hadn’t been so busy battling it out with the bottle of pills in his hand. “Useful enough,” he grumbled out.

An amused grin came over her lips as she watched him struggle. “Yea, I see that.”

Nothing more was said between the two of them as Nestor continued to fiddle with the bright orange bottle of pills. Erin perched her chin in her hand as she watched him. She could’ve easily gone back to bed, but she knew that she wasn’t going to fall back to sleep anytime soon so there was no point. Instead, she kept herself camped out on the opposite side of the island, perfectly content while Nestor had growing frustration to pair with his intensifying pain.

Erin wouldn’t have had any problem popping the top off the bottle of pills for him, but she wanted him to ask for the help. She didn’t have any specific problem with Nestor that made her want to watch him struggle, but she knew that it really wouldn’t kill him to just ask for some assistance.

He could feel her eyes on him as his left hand wrapped around the bottle and tried to get the top off. As if being in pain wasn’t enough, now he had an audience to his temporary incompetence. He didn’t have to be looking at her to know that she was getting a kick out of it all, probably scheming up some smart remarks. He was no stranger at this point to being on the end of those, but the pain he was in made him a little less tolerant of it all.

A couple different times he tried to use the hand of his arm that was bound in the sling. Each time, though, he was reminded that everything in his arm and hand were connected because another jolt of pain would go through him when he attempted to put apply any kind of pressure with that hand.

Letting out a deep sigh, he fought the urge to just slam the plastic bottle against the countertop. His left hand was clamped down tightly over the lid, and even in the low lighting of the kitchen Erin could see the clench in his jaw as he tried not to throw the entire thing across the house.

His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath, ready to make another futile attempt at it all. Erin didn’t know how long the two of them had actually been standing there on either side of the island, but it was far too long for so little reward. The second he lifted the bottle off the countertop, Erin leaned over the island, nearly lifting her feet off the floor in the process of reaching, and snatched the bottle out of his hand.

“I can’t fuckin’ watch this anymore,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“I—”

“No you don’t,” she didn’t allow him to try and argue. It took her all of five seconds to get the lid off. She handed the bottle back over to him, keeping the lid to herself as she spun it on the counter like it was a coin she’d found along the way.

Her hand toyed idly with the cap to the bottle while she watched Nestor set the bottle down before turning around and stepping over towards the cupboards where all of the glasses and plates were kept. Reaching up, he pulled the door to one open and grabbed a glass tumbler for himself. Erin assumed that he was going to put it under the sink faucet and fill it with water. Instead, though, he set the glass down on the counter and reached for one of the bottles of whiskey intermingled among hers and Emily’s numerous bottles of wine.

That was a bottle that he was able to get the cap off of with no problem. Erin chuckled as she watched him pour a fairly generous amount of the liquor into the glass that he’d gotten. He screwed the cap back onto the bottle, sliding it back into place before moving the glass to the island where the open bottle of pills sat.

Everything felt like it took so many more steps than necessary when he only had use of one hand. He set the glass down and grabbed the pill bottle, shaking two out onto the counter before setting the bottle back down. He swiped the pills up and tossed them into his mouth, holding them there for a moment as he grabbed the glass of whiskey. He took a large sip to wash the pills down. Once that was done, he took another sip for good measure before setting the glass back down.

Erin was watching the entire thing, chuckling to herself as she did. “Yea,” she said when Nestor set the glass back down, “I think that’s exactly how the doctors recommend you take those.” She ignored Nestor’s lack of a response as she reached across the counter for the bottle again. Making a big show of turning the bottle in her hand and reading the label, she said, “Right here, actually. Make sure to take with copious amounts of alcohol.”

Nestor shook his head at her as he drummed his fingers on the outside of his glass. He knew her well enough to know that whether or not he gave her an argument about it, she was going to keep talking anyway. Every day he wondered how she and Emily came from the same family. He and his brother had been different, sure, but nothing like the two of them.

Erin half-expected Nestor to tell her to go back to bed. Or, at the very least, simply walk away from her and out of the kitchen. It wasn’t as though he was chatty with her under the best circumstances, let alone a night like this. But still, he hadn’t left, hadn’t tried to send her away.

“So, what happened, anyway?” she asked, her voice so much quieter than it usually was.

He was so caught off-guard by how genuine she sounded when she asked that he almost gave her the answer. He opened his mouth to tell her, but stopped himself. Instead, he just shook his head. “Nothing.”

Erin sighed, shaking her head as she fought the urge to roll her eyes. “Yea, last time I ended up popping painkillers with my arm strapped down it was also because of nothing.”

She waited for him to have some sort of response, something passive-aggressive and dismissive all at once. But he was silent. The two of them stayed across from each other, silently staring at each other and waiting for the other to have something to say. If history was evidence to anything, it was that Erin was going to have something to say first. However, it seemed like she was determined to get him to speak up for once.

He knew that getting into any of it with her was going to do more harm than good. There was nothing that she could do about it, no help that she could offer. And if she was already paranoid about whoever was in the house, telling her about the threats they were dealing with outside the house on a regular basis wasn’t going to help ease any of her unrest.

Instead of offering her anything substantial, he asked, “Can you put the cap back on that?”

She watched as he nodded towards the pill bottle that was sitting in front of her. Her knee-jerk reaction was to be petty and tell him to do it himself. He saw it in her eyes that she didn’t want to make things easy for him if he wasn’t going to offer her any kind of answers. But the harshness in her eyes only lasted for a moment before it softened slightly and she put the cap back on for him. Her concession to that was the most she’d ever seemed to be like Emily in the entire time that Nestor had known her.

“Next time you gotta open it, you’re on your own,” she said as she slid it across the counter to him.

A tiny smirk pulled at the one end of his mouth, but he didn’t say anything, instead giving a short nod of acknowledgment. He stood there waiting, assuming from her tone and her comment that she was going to go back to bed. Instead of leaving him to his own devices, Erin walked around to the other side of the island and grabbed her own glass. Nestor watched her intently, wondering what she was going to grab for herself. Much to his surprise, she reached for the same bottle that he had only a short while before.

She poured herself a smaller portion than Nestor had poured for himself. Once she put the cap back on, she stepped back to the island, her and Nestor now both on the same side. Setting her glass out of harm’s way, she hoisted herself up so that she was sitting on the edge of the counter, legs dangling over the edge of it. Nestor didn’t comment on it or try to move away from her. He watched as she grabbed her cup and took a sip, cringing slightly as it went down.

The silence between them was welcome, comfortable even. It wasn’t often that the two of them found themselves in each other’s company with no one else around. Typically wherever Nestor was, Miguel or Emily wasn’t far behind. There were a million questions that Erin wanted to ask since it was just the two of them for once, but she was smart enough to know that she wouldn’t get the answers to any of them.

“Future reference,” she finally broke the silence as she toyed with the glass in her hands, “the wine is way better.”

It was the first time Erin had ever heard Nestor let out anything reminiscent of a laugh or a chuckle. She chalked it up to the painkillers finally starting to kick in. He nodded in acknowledgment as he picked up his glass and brought it back to his lips, taking another sip without a word.

[garbinge]

Do What You Gotta Do

Nestor Oceteva x Erin Thomas

Summary: Erin & Nestor through the years.

30 Day Fic Challenge (29/30)

Word Count: 10.5k

A/N: Another Ao3 exchange fic for @drabbles-mc that i never got the chance to post here!

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Mentions of bullying, killing. angsty, not a happy ending, more angst lol.

Mayans Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @kmc1989

Erin tended to stay confined in her room when her sister and her friends were over. It never used to be that way, when the two of them were younger she often was found right next to her sister or close behind. They were loud, Erin usually being the more lively of the two but the giggles that traveled throughout the halls of the Thomas house were from both of them. The two Thomas sisters were actually inseparable, even throughout Emily’s years of high school. It was a sister bond that couldn’t be swayed the way a friendship could, a sister bond that could withstand the typical disagreements and fights of siblings. A sister bond that could still hold itself close to what it originally and always was. A sister bond that would eventually break when Emily came home on break from college.

Erin was never a fan of Miguel since that day her older sister brought him over to meet the family on that first Thanksgiving break of Emily’s college years. He was arrogant, opinionated, smug and overall just a dickhead as Erin so boldly put it. Which is why whenever Emily had him and his friends over, Erin found herself fully content alone in her room.

Currently, she sat on her bean bag chair with her headphones over her ears, there was a notebook in her hand as she doodled the time away, her legs were probably going to start falling asleep as the minutes passed with them tucked close to her chest and her feet tangled in the depths of the sunken bean bag.

Despite the volume of her music being pretty high, she could still hear the laughs and noises of her sister’s company downstairs. It was normally around the time she’d use the noise as an excuse to get up and stretch her legs and then close the door but she found herself at this moment, doorless. It was an old school punishment but her mother had insisted their housekeeper removed the door of the younger Thomas girl’s bedroom after a pretty heated argument between the two. Privacy was a privilege and privacy is earned. Her mother’s words were so typical of a parent who had lost control of their teenage daughter and was scrambling to try and regain it back.

Erin was feeling the consequences of her loss of privacy when she looked up to see someone in the hallway staring at her. If she didn’t know her sister had people over she probably would have screamed and made some flailing attempt at bum rushing the man in her own defense but she just assumed it was one of Emily or Miguel’s loser friends.

“You’re fuckin’ creepy.” Erin had removed her headphones and readjusted herself to stare back at the kid.

“Sorry.” The man looked flustered and pointed behind him to the balcony and then to the stairs. “I, uh, they told me to leave them alone so I’m kind of just roaming around trying to avoid them.”

Erin frowned now and stood up, she saw the man tense up by her abruptness and while Erin loved to tease people, she ignored the temptation in her to jump scare this random person as she moved to look over the balcony into the living room.

The patio door had been opened and through the big living room window she could see her sister, Miguel, a couple random people and someone who looked just like the man 5 feet from her but with a beard in the pool that was just recently opened for summer. It was slowly coming together for her, all assumptions, but she was pretty firm in her thinking.

A nod shook from her head as she pushed off the railing and moved back into her room, just as she re-entered the bedroom her head looked over her shoulder at the man who was clearly nervous and frozen in the middle of the hallway.

“No invite needed when there’s no door to block you out.” Erin waved her hand in a very over-exaggerated way to invite the man in.

He was still nervous but listened to the girl’s words and stepped into her room, trying to look around at his surroundings but not wanting to be any more intrusive than he had been.

“Privacy is a privilege.” The girl spoke those words in a mocking way as she plopped down on her bed and waved her arms again in an attempt to tell the man he could look around freely.

“Is that why you don’t have a door?” He asked, looking around at the posters taped to the walls.

“I don’t have a door because Diana is a bitch.”

Nestor turned to look at the girl with an inquisitive look.

“My loving and adoring mother.” Erin smiled so sarcastically.

“Erin.” The man pointed to the artwork above where her door should have been, it was a calligraphy artwork of her name, each letter made from a different tropical plant.

“That’s me.” She said grabbing a stuffed animal off her bed to use as a pillow to rest her arms on.

“Nice picture.” The man tried to match Erin’s sarcasm but it definitely needed some work.

“Last thing my dad got me before he left.”

“Left to where?” He asked so nonchalantly and was left shocked by her response.

“Prison.” It was one word but it felt so heavy leaving Erin’s mouth despite her light way of saying it. Her inflection made prison seem like it was stepping out to run an errand but the weight of what she truly said wasn’t lost on him. His head snapped to look at her, surprise all over his face and all Erin did was smile. “So you know all these fun things about me, what about you, mystery man?”

“Mystery man?” His eyes frowned.

“Okay, mystery boy. Puberty looks fresh on you.” Her face was twisted in a devious smile at the comment and her eyes were scanning him up and down.

“I just turned 17.”

Erin knew she struck a cord there. “Attacking your manliness, men are so easy.” She rolled her eyes. “What’s your name, mystery boy?” She continued with her teasing.

He stood there, annoyed slightly debating if he was going to walk out or cave in and give his name. It only took one second for his decision to be made. All it took was for the slightest smirk to flash on Erin’s face for all but a second, it was likely her reading him, realizing he was about to bolt but whatever it was it made him speak immediately.

“Nestor.”

“Sounds like a serial killer's name.” She scoffed and stood up to go by her desk in search of something.

“You’re really rude.” Nestor was again feeling defensive but he had an odd smile on his face.

“Rude or honest?” Erin responded so quickly it made Nestor realize it probably wasn’t the first time she had been accused of being rude. That and she was still rummaging through the things on her desk with no care in the world.

“Here.” She handed him a DVD, Nestor was now realizing this was what she had been searching for the entire time.

“Kill Bill?” Nestor was still so utterly confused by the girl.

“About a killer. Thought you’d like it.” The sarcasm and humor was now dancing with each other as it flew off her tongue.

“She’s technically an assassin.” Nestor was flipping the DVD box over.

“You’ve seen it?” Erin was leaning back against her desk with her arms crossed.

“About a million times. It’s a classic.” He placed the DVD back on her desk when his eyes caught a bunch of different movies scattered around.

“I’m a movie buff.” She shrugged seeing him look over her array of films.

“Classics.” He specified as he noticed the theme to all the disk cases.

“Dying breed.” Erin responded.

“I’ve seen pretty much every one of these at least 3-4 times.” Nestor was still scanning over the different movies. “Except this one.”

“You’re lying.” It was as serious as he had seen Erin since he met her only ten minutes ago. “You’ve never seen Die Hard.” She phrased it as a statement over a question but the way the movie title fell from her lips was like it was a disgrace. “This is like THE classic. I can’t believe you’ve seen The Sound of fucking Music but not Die Hard.” Her voice was full of shock and honestly a little betrayal as she picked up the Sound of Music disk.

“To be fair I haven’t seen The Sound of Music, either.” Nestor shrugged, the odds the girl would pick up one of the few he hadn’t seen didn’t go over his head.

“Whatever, you’re not missing much, I mean Julie Andrews is perfect but it’s singing and nunnery and love. I mean it’s actually great but I can’t believe the serial killer in my room right now has not watched Die Hard.” It was one long-winded sentence and she took a deep breath at the end as she stared at Nestor before jumping into another statement. “You’re coming over Friday. We’re watching Die Hard.” Her head was shaking as she moved back over to her bed and grabbed something from her nightstand.

“You were going to give me Kill Bill to watch on my own.” This was his version of hard to get.

Erin rolled her eyes but it went unnoticed since she was rummaging around her nightstand just to pull out a post-it and start writing on it.

“You get dragged along with your older brother, don’t you?”

Nestor should have been way more aware now to not be shocked by this girl, but he was pretty taken back that she knew.

“How’d you know?”

She turned back around now and looked at him. “If you were friends with them they wouldn’t kick you out. Plus you look like a younger version of the guy that comes with Miguel.”

“Why don’t you hang out with them?” Nestor was genuinely curious.

“Because my older sister kicked me out too.”

“My parents are dead so my brother feels forced to bring me everywhere.”

It was such a heavy statement but said with such ease, very similar to how Erin had told him about her incarcerated father. And Erin got it. She really got it.

Emily and Erin might have had tension between them now that she was getting more involved with Miguel but they both had something that kept them familial. Their parents. Their father was a dark and mysterious man who ended up in prison when they were young and they both equally hated their mother.

With a nod, Erin stood up and stuck the post-it note to Nestor’s chest. He looked down, she wrote on it upside down so he was able to read it immediately.

Movie Night Friday @ 8, bring candy. Tons of it.

“They always get together on Friday Nights here. Ever since school got out for them.” Erin explained.

“So I’ll be here anyway.” He caught on to what she was saying.

“With candy.” Erin interjected.

“With candy.” He laughed and removed the post-it from his chest.

“Nestor!!” A deep voice from downstairs called up interrupting them. “We gotta go!!!”

“I gotta go.” Nestor pointed and began to take steps towards the empty doorway, the smile while faded still filled his face.

Erin smirked, “Do what you gotta do, mystery boy.”

__________

That was all it took. The two 17 year olds became some version of friends as time passed. Honestly, they could have been best friends, but neither of them would have said it out loud. And lucky enough for the both of them, neither Nestor’s brother or Emily cared enough to say anything to them. They probably hadn’t even taken notice enough to even tease them about it.

Erin was passing the bowl of popcorn over to Nestor who was at the opposite side of the couch.

“So you relate to Maria right?” Nestor’s eyes were glued to the TV as his hand extended out to grab the popcorn.

“Are you asking me if I relate to the main character in Sound of fucking Music?” Erin was sprawled on the couch now, her feet taking up a majority of the cushions. She was taking full offense to Nestor's comment and had the tone to prove it.

“I just mean she got sent to this dude’s house because she doesn’t really like rules. Isn’t your mom sending you to that school because you don’t really like rules?” Nestor’s voice still stayed casual despite Erin’s bark.

“We watch these movies because they’re classics not to start a philosophical discussion, blondie.” Erin dismissed him by extending her left foot out and pushing his thigh slightly. The popcorn bowl in his hand spilled out a couple pieces and Nestor let out a laugh at the whole thing.

“I bleached my hair like two weeks ago, when are you going to drop it, red?” Nestor retorted back as he picked up the fallen pieces of popcorn and placed the bowl on the side table next to him.

“Yea, see, Red just doesn’t land the same.” Erin was now crossing her arms and looking over at Nestor. “Plus, you made the impulsive decision to bleach your hair, like, you chose to do whatever that is with your hair,” she pointed to his fried hair which had already grown in his natural roots, “which earns joking rights, I was born with red hair so it just isn’t the same.”

“Julie Andrews has blonde hair.” Nestor pointed to the TV screen.

“Julie Andrews is Julie Andrews.” That was all the explanation Erin needed to use on that argument.

“How is the new school?” Nestor changed subjects.

“Sucks.” It was obvious Erin didn’t want to talk about it.

“Wow it’s like I can envision it with how you describe it.” He wasn’t going to let her dismiss it that easily.

She sarcastically added in an adverb for more detail, “Really sucks.”

“Well now you’re just talking too much.” She had met her match with Nestor.

“Well, we are watching a movie.” The smile on Erin’s face was saying way more than her words ever could. They were saying she felt uncomfortable, that something had to have happened at the school for her to not lay into it in her comedic, sardonic way.

“Why won’t you tell me what happened?”

“Fine you want to know?” Erin was shooting up from her laid back position and now sitting up, her body tense and aggravated. It was like she was a bear and Nestor had done nothing but poke her to irateness. “You really want to know how my new private school is? It’s real swell, we get lockers, mine got vandalized but it’s nothing some nail polish remover and a little elbow grease won’t take care of. The classes are great, learning lots, like how to get kids to stop stealing my stuff or knocking it off my desk.”

It had snapped Erin, the frustration from this last week at her new school was getting hard to cope with and now she was like a floodgate of emotions.

Nestor just sat there, calmly, and listened. When she had taken a moment to breathe deep, he slightly moved forward to pause the movie.

The gesture and the silence that now surrounded them made Erin feel comfortable in some odd way. Comfortable enough to say one more thing.

“They call me Connie.” It was spoken at such a whisper, it was so unlike Erin. Nestor wasn’t even sure if he had ever heard her speak at that volume let alone look the way she looked. She usually took most things with stride, with an attitude and comeback.

“Connie?” Nestor frowned, not only uneasy about her state of being but also confused at the name.

“Short for convict. Apparently everyone figured out my dad’s in prison.”

Now it all came together for Nestor, he knew that could be a tipping point for the girl. She might have been nonchalant in how she talked about it but it didn’t take a genius to realize it was a real weight on her.

“Is that what they wrote on your locker?”

“No, that would’ve been too kind. They drew bars and some shitty version of someone dropping a bar of soap.”

Nestor knew there was nothing he could do, it was a completely different school than where he went and there wasn’t any way he could unenroll her so he did what he did best and just sat and listened to her.

“You wanna finish the movie?” That was Erin’s way of signaling she was done with the conversation. It was Friday night, she wanted a weekend free of school and thoughts of it. Before Nestor could answer he was being interrupted by another voice.

“What are you guys watching?” Miguel had popped into the living room from the kitchen, a fresh beer in his hand as he brought it up to his mouth to drink. His other hand was in his pocket as he stood behind the couch, right in the middle of Erin and Nestor who were still on separate sides of the sofa.

“Hey Mikey.” Nestor nodded to the man.

Erin did all but physically gag as she looked at Miguel. Her eyes rolled, her body language shifted and the attitude was practically dripping off her without a word even being spoken.

“Sound of Music, huh?.” Miguel spotted the DVD case on the coffee table. “Didn’t take either of you as the musical type.”

“It’s a classic.” Erin spoke firmly without even looking at Miguel.

“Ah,” He nodded and took another sip of his beer. “And you’re a fan of the classics aren’t you, Erin?”

“Did you need something, Mike?” Erin snapped her head back to look at the man, the Americanized version of his name slipping off her tongue more harshly than the rest of her sentence.

The smile that grew on his face made her want to grab the popcorn bucket and dump it over his head.

“Actually yea, we were all gonna watch a movie in here, your sister sent me to kick you out. I argued to let you guys be, you seem,” He looked at the large amount of space between you and Nestor and chuckled, “cozy.”

“Erin, out. We’re using the TV.” Emily’s voice came echoing in from the outside patio with a few other mumbles of laughs and conversations behind them.

“We have like 3 TVs in this house, you need this one?” Erin’s voice changed. It wasn’t dripping with the same attitude she had towards Miguel, it was still annoyed, but a lovingly annoyed if that was possible.

“Why don’t you use one of the other TVs.” Emily was barely even paying attention to her sister as she spoke.

“Why don’t you guys do something?” Nestor’s brother was now speaking as he joined Miguel in standing behind the couch. His hand resting on the backrest before he jumped over and plopped down in the middle of the couch. Erin was happy her feet weren’t there any longer because she would have had to jerk them back.

Just as she went to argue, the jingle of metal sounded as Nestor’s brother reached in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. “Take my car. Scram.” He was throwing them over to Nestor.

“You want to get ice cream?” Nestor asked Erin, not wanting to fight with either Miguel or his brother.

“Foster Freeze.” It was a demand from Erin’s mouth as she stood up and grabbed her stuff off the coffee table and draped her bag over her shoulder.

“Mom’s going to be home at 10. So be home then.” Emily said as she quickly took the spot Erin was in.

“So you kick me out and then give me a curfew?” Erin was turning around with her arms extended out in a version of disbelief.

“For your own good.” Emily acted like she was looking out for her little sister.

“You can lie to yourself but don’t lie to me.” Erin was grabbing her jacket from the closet when the words left her mouth.

Emily had turned on the TV which drowned out the sound of Erin’s voice from her ears. With an eye roll and a heavy stomp of her feet Erin exited the house with a deep exhale, barely missing Nestor’s shoulder with her own. She didn’t want to take her frustration out on him but part of her couldn’t help it when she saw how docile he got around his brother and Miguel.

Silence was at the top of the conversation between Erin and Nestor as they sat across the booth from each other. As each clank of metal utensils hit the glass jars Erin grew more and more annoyed. It felt like her rage was moving a degree up a thermometer with every spoonful of ice cream.

“So you wanna talk about it?” Nestor wasn’t even looking at Erin when the words left his mouth, in fact the words were even muffled as the spoonful of ice cream melted in his mouth.

That broke Erin. Her frustration fully apparent now as she tossed the spoon into her glass causing it to clink around loudly and fall on the table with a couple more loud noises.

“Why the fuck do you suck their dicks like that?”

“Excuse me?” Nestor looked up from his ice cream, frown extremely evident on his face.

“Oh don’t play fuckin’ coy. It doesn’t suit you.” Her back fell against the back of the booth as her arms crossed, her head shook, and her eyes stared off to the side of the shoppe.

“What are you talking about?” Nestor was looking straight at Erin now.

“That shit with them, you act like they’re cool, like–like they’re your friends.” The disgust was evident in her voice.

“I’m pretty sure I said like five words.” Nestor was confused, he had asked Erin if she wanted to talk about it because he thought all her frustration was at Emily not him.

“Hey Mikey.” Erin’s voice got deep as she rocked her shoulders back and forth in an attempt to mock Nestor. If he thought the way she said Mike before was harsh, the addition of the vowel on the end of the man’s nickname in her mockery was ten times that.

“That’s two words.” Nestor was getting annoyed, his leg began shaking as he moved it up and down.

“Yea two words that make me want to throw up–you’re so fucking nice to them, for what?” Erin’s face was twisted in pure confusion. In her head right now there was no explanation that would be worthy to her. She couldn’t stand any one of her sister’s friends, and honestly, her sister was probably top of that list at the moment. Truthfully, all of this anger was a result of pain and hurt. She missed her sister, and blamed the people she hung out with for taking her away. While that did hold some truth, most of Erin’s anger was misplaced there, it really came from her feeling like she was losing everyone around her. She lost her father when he went to jail, her mother shortly after that to her attitude and the bottle, and now her sister.

“They’re all I got.” Nestor’s voice was so much the opposite of Erin’s, his demeanor was calm, solemn, almost peaceful. “When I lost my parents, my brother took me in, he might be a dick sometimes but he’s done everything for me.” He shook his head, “and Mikey, he’s like a brother to me.” A shrug left his shoulders. “I get it, they’re jerks right, but when push came to shove they’d be there for me.”

“You believe that?” Erin still was holding on to whatever parts of her anger that she could even though she sympathized with Nestor, maybe even got a little jealous of the dynamics he shared.

“I know it.” Nestor was firm in his voice, no doubt at all. “It’s the same with you, your sister would do anything for you.”

“I don’t believe that.” Erin rolled her eyes.

“You don’t have to, but it’s the truth.” Nestor scooped the last of his ice cream in his mouth and nodded. “When it comes down to that make or break moment, she’d be there for you.”

Another set of eye rolls came from Erin as she let out a huff. “I don’t have anyone.”

“You have me.” Nestor now leaned back against the booth and crossed his own arms matching Erin’s pose.

Her eyes darted up immediately to meet his. “I don’t believe that.” She repeated the same sentence as before but this time it was said in a way like she wanted him to convince her.

“Well keep up with the crude comments and I don’t know.” He was joking, but before he could double down with another joke his eyes met Erin’s and he knew immediately what she was looking for.

“You got me, you know that, right?”

Erin sat there, there were a bunch of things going through her mind at this point. Her frustration was still lingering. Thoughts of Miguel and Nestor’s brother casually floating around, her sister, the relationship they used to have compared to now, the words Nestor said about Emily, wondering if they really did hold truth. But now, the main thing in her head was that this man, this man who was just some strange boy standing in front of her bedroom door 5 months ago was now telling her he was going to be there for her–no, is there for her. Erin hadn’t trusted a man since her father and despite the love she had for him, he was the reason she couldn’t find it in her to trust anyone. Everyone leaves. It was what she had to tell herself to keep the emotions at bay, control situations, it was why the Emily situation hurt her so much, she trusted her and now felt like she was betraying that trust.

And now, the boy who was telling her that Emily wasn’t betraying her, that when it really came down to it she’d be there, was telling her that he was there.

“I don’t have anyone.” Erin mumbled the words but Nestor heard them perfectly.

“Hey, I’m here.” Nestor was bending his head down to meet Erin’s gaze which had fallen to the floor. His voice was optimistic, it was almost like he didn’t understand the weight of what he was saying, and honestly he didn’t, but it didn’t matter to Erin because in this moment she just needed someone, someone who would be there.

“Okay.” Erin’s voice had completely flipped since the beginning of their conversation. It was soft, shaky, and even a little weepy as a tear fell down her cheek.

Nestor’s hand came out to grab hers and with it came a squeeze. Erin was glad that was all it was because if he had gotten up to hug her it would have released the flood gates entirely and she would be a sobbing mess in the middle of her favorite ice cream place.

“I’m gonna go pay, I’ll be right back, okay?”

Erin had started to pull herself back together, her attitude and normal toned voice coming back along with the tears fully disappeared from her face now as she wiped it clean.

“Yea, do what you gotta do.”

____________

Erin didn’t want to go to prom, it wasn’t exactly her scene. It also wasn’t like she was close friends with anyone at her school, most everyone found their reasons to bully her and make fun of her. All of that gave her one giant reason to say no to going to prom. But then Diana happened to come across the info online. If there was shopping involved, especially for a dress, Diane was in. That didn’t mean Erin wasn’t going to actively and loudly complain about it. Every time they went dress shopping, every fitting, every mention at something to do with prom, Erin let her opinion on it be known. But deep down, she was happy that her mom was forcing her to go, because it brought her and Emily together on something and it was the first time in a long time where the two girls actually enjoyed being together.

The two were laughing, they were whispering and gossiping like middle schoolers, they were causing trouble in stores, having their mother yell at them like they were children again. It made every prom task bearable. Emily had been home for the summer, Miguel had stayed back on campus for an additional month to take a quick summer course. It was what Erin would have described as a dream. Her weeknights were movies with Nestor and ice cream afterwards with Emily. Once or twice the three hung out together, but that basically consisted of Nestor third wheeling all while the young Thomas girl teased him for being so quiet and shy.

The month of May might have become some of Erin’s most treasured days. It didn’t matter that she had to go to prom or that she had to go to that stupid school, she had two of her favorite people to lean on and that was all she needed.

The doorbell rang and it caused a frown to fill Erin’s face as she turned in her floor length royal blue dress that was picked out by her mother. Emily’s face turned into a grin as she moved to the door, resting her digital camera to the side for the first time since her little sister had entered the living room. It didn’t matter that Emily was the one who was upstairs with Erin for hours getting her ready and was able to take all of this in then, she needed to document as much of this moment as possible.

“Who is that?” Diana looked visibly annoyed. The audacity of someone interrupting her special night.

As Emily approached with someone very closely behind her, she stepped aside as the hallway ended and the living room began and swiftly moved to the right. With eagerness in her voice, and a smile that easily reached from ear to ear, she introduced the person who was walking in behind her.

“Look who’s here! It’s Nestor!”

Erin’s face was shocked, not because he was here and seeing her in this ridiculous prom dress but because he was standing 5 feet from her, in a suit. His hair was freshly shaped up on the sides and gelled curls sitting on the top, as Erin’s eyes moved down, she saw his black skinny tie tucked behind the lapels of his black suit jacket, all accented against the crisp white button up. Her gaze moved over to his left where his pocket sat. Within it was a rich blue handkerchief sticking out where a matching boutonniere was clipped on. The deep blue flower and baby’s breath didn’t just match her dress with the perfect royal hue but it was paired with the corsage he was fiddling with in his hands.

That’s when a small smile tugged at her face. As she stared at the corsage in his hands, she saw the rings still on his hands, one his brother had gifted him for his birthday, and the other that he had always sported since she met him. Taking in this completely new Nestor felt a lot easier seeing those rings.

“What are you doing here?” Erin’s voice was a whisper and despite her excitement peaking through slightly, there was still some confusion in her tone.

“I, uh, asked him to be your date tonight.” Emily had her mouth closed but she was smiling as she said it, her eyes bouncing from her sister and the man to her left.

“Oh shoot!” Emily gasped. “I should have taken a picture of your reaction, can you make the face again, reenact it, oh my gosh, look it’s Nestor in a suit!” Emily tried to mimic her words from before while adding in some description for context of what she was looking for from Erin. But before she could even bring the camera up to her face to look through the viewfinder, there was a nagging voice interrupting.

“Emily, you didn’t match the colors. If you were going to do this little surprise for your sister, the least you could have done was put a little effort into getting them to look like dates.” Diana’s whining voice filled the air.

“Mom, can you just relax, enjoy the moment.” Emily was moving over to her mother to ease the tension she was inevitably bringing to the room. “Nestor, go over by Erin, let us take a few pictures so you both can get out of here.” Emily’s eyes rolled to look over at her mother and then quickly changed to look through her camera, ready to snap a few pictures and push the two out.

The minute Erin closed the car door she was turning to look at Nestor. “What the hell are you doing?

“Going to prom.” Nestor shrugged as he leaned forward to turn the key into the ignition.

“Yea, but why?” Erin looked around to realize that this was his brother’s car, his prize possession. “And why are we in your brother's car?”

“Your sister asked. Plus, I figured you could use some friendly company tonight.” It was said so nonchalantly.

“And the car?” Erin accepted his statement about coming with her to prom and was waiting for the answer to her last question.

“The car,” his grin grew wide, “the car, I stole from my brother.” Nestor began to drive out of the Thomas’ driveway. His left hand was tight on the wheel and his right was resting comfortably on the middle console as the 91 Nissan coasted on the neighborhood streets of Santo Padre.

“He’s gonna kill you.” Erin matched his grin and fell back comfortably in the seat.

“Worth it.” A shrug fell from Nestor’s shoulders before he turned right to get on the main highway. “I know how much you love this car, it’s the one thing about my brother that doesn’t make you mumble under your breath or roll your eyes.” Nestor knew Erin so well. “If anything,” he pointed with his right hand while still staring out the windshield, “you actually stare mesmerized at this thing whenever he pulls up in it.”

“It’s cool.” Her shoulders lifted up and fell quickly trying to seem as indifferent as possible. “Plus,” she quickly added another statement in her own defense, “it's purple, who doesn’t stare at a purple car.”

Nestor nodded, he wasn’t going to argue with the girl, especially not on her prom night. Instead he just looked at how empty the highway was, then a thought popped into his brain. It took him a minute to decide if it was a good idea but ultimately he thought ‘what did he have to lose’? His foot pressed against the gas, his eyes quickly glancing over to see the pure joy on Erin’s face as the odometer kept increasing as they made their way to her school.

___________

Prom was uneventful, but if Erin was honest she was beyond grateful Nestor was there with her. It made the night not just bearable but maybe even a little enjoyable.

Currently the two were leaving the photo booth, full of laughs. ‘The fun flask’, as Erin referred to it, was on its last leg. There was maybe 4 shots left in it which would likely not be evenly distributed between them both.

“You wanna dance?” Nestor’s hand on Erin’s back as he guided her out of the booth didn’t go unnoticed by the girl.

“You’re drunk.” She accused him with a quick whip of her neck to stare at him shocked by his words.

“No, but you are. You’ve been sipping way more from that flask than I have.” Nestor pointed out.

Erin’s eyes moved from Nestor to the dance floor to see the big crowd of people on the wooden tiles. “If I’m drunk, I don’t know how smart hitting the dance floor’s gonna be, Nes.” Erin’s eyebrows lifted up as he head tilted.

“What’d I tell you? I got you.” His hand tightened on her back and before she could answer her feet were moving her closer to the crowd.

The song slowed down, offering them up a moment to take things easy as they swayed back and forth. Nestor’s hands were comfortably resting on Nestor’s back, her long red hair brushing against them as the slight breeze from their side by side movements. Nestor wasn’t drunk, but those couple shots he did take earlier in the night were giving him the liquid courage to have his fingers playing around in the ends of it.

And Erin was drunk enough to not only let it happen but mention it.

“You’re handsy tonight.” She beamed as she said it.

“So are you.” Nestor looked down to where her arms rested on his shoulders, her hands were twisted over each other behind his neck and mindlessly playing with the curls of his she could reach.

“You know, between you and the fun flask, this night went from bearable to maybe a little enjoyable, to one of the best nights I’ve had in a really long time.”

It was one of the handful of times Erin had said something that wasn’t tainted in sarcasm or a joke. Any one of those attributes that while Nestor had a secret appreciation for, he couldn’t help but also love these rare intimate moments with the girl.

“I’m glad I came.” Nestor held his composure as he always did, despite feeling the nerves and sweat all as his heartbeat sped up.

Subconsciously the two moved closer together, their bodies resting against each other, their foreheads centimeters from touching. Nestor’s left hand moved up to grab Erin’s right. His hand first caressed up to her arm, it was light and made Erin’s heart flutter, but then when it rested as a soft grip on her hand her heart started to beat heavy. She suddenly became super aware of how close the two were to each other. Every thought running through her mind at light speed. The endless nights the two had spent together but not one where they were remotely this close, or looked this good. The laughs were nothing compared to the giggles the two shared tonight. Erin never realized any of this before, and if she did she made damn sure to bury it deep without giving it a single thought. Nestor on the other hand, realized it every time he looked at her, every time she spoke, yelled, rolled her eyes. From the moment he saw her, Nestor knew he had feelings for her. But he never could find it in him to act on it.

It’s why now he couldn’t either.

“I have to tell you something.” The words were drowned out by the crowd and music, so when Erin had replied “what?” it was in hopes Nestor would repeat the sentence but instead he just shared the news and to his luck the DJ had just began to fade out the song.

“I joined the Navy, I leave on the first day of summer.”

Erin felt everything in her freeze, but that was after everything dropped. Her heart fell to her stomach, her stomach fell to the floor it felt like and then everything just froze. She thought it was like 10 minutes of her just standing there, but it was barely 10 seconds.

“Wow–uh,–well, we know blue is your color.” Erin’s eyes moved to the boutonniere and her hands loosened slightly from behind his neck but didn’t fall completely.

“Are you mad?” The worry in Nestor’s face did something to Erin. It made everything that she wanted to do just mere seconds ago disappear. The sarcasm was rising back up, her coping mechanism to this exact thing falling into all the right places. But instead of being mean about it, she took her acerbity and decided to joke.

“Not mad, G.I. Joe. Confused how you’re going to make it out at sea when you couldn’t even swim in a pool after watching Jaws.”

“I told you that happened when I was a kid, I was like 10.” Nestor defended himself.

“When we rewatched it I saw how you looked at our pool the next day. Looking for fins and ghosts of marine biologists.”

“I’m glad you’re not mad, I thought you’d be mad.”

If he says mad one more time I’m going to rage. Was the thought in her head but the words that came out were ones of opposition. “Nope, not mad.

“I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.” Nestor smiled, the irony that he was removing her hands from around his neck in the moment he said that. “I gotta take a piss, I’ll be right back, okay?” He squeezed her hands before dropping them and walking away before he could hear the girl’s answer.

Erin stood there, alone, watching Nestor walk away as every emotion she tried so hard to bury for years came barreling to the forefront and just let out a murmur.

“Yea, do what you gotta do.”

__________

The time passed differently when there was a countdown attached to it. There was always a weight hanging over each day, pressure to make the most out of what was left. Each day that the sun stayed out a little longer meant a little less time that was left Nestor went away to boot camp. It was ironic how the days were getting longer but it was just a sign that they were running out.

“Last night home.” Erin plopped down next to Nestor who was sitting on a park bench as the festival that always kicked off the day before summer started commenced in front of them. Erin was holding out a corn dog for Nestor while she started to eat hers.

“I don’t know why you like these things.” He spoke completely ignoring her comment and going to take a bite from the corndog before he took it out of her hand.

“Yet you still eat them.” Erin’s mouth was full as she spoke with a shoulder raise and head shake in disbelief at the words coming out of his mouth.

“It’s like they’re so bad that they’re good.” He explained.

It got quiet between the two as they ate, a comfortable silence as the noises of the festival around them filled the air. Laughs from children chasing each other on the concrete street that was blocked off from cars and littered with food trucks and stands selling things. Music from a live band just a few 100 feet to their left near the park’s lake. The white noise from the bouncy houses that were behind them set up on the large fields of grass.

“Remember this festival last year?” Erin changed topics as she dipped half of her corn dog in cheese.

As she did it, Nestor looked over and realized what she was doing and quickly dipped his own food into the small cheese cup in Erin’s hand.

“Yea, you threw up the 5 corndogs you ate.” Nestor let out a laugh.

“It was 7,” she clarified, those extra two corn dogs might not have mattered to anyone else but to her they were the culprits of what pushed her to get sick, “but I meant the movie.”

“Sound of Music.” Nestor’s voice had a smile in it, almost like he knew what Erin was going to say next.

“The unfinished movie.” There was a bit of disappointment in her voice.

“They might be playing it tonight.” Hopeful, that was the best way to describe how he was speaking to Erin.

“They aren’t. I checked.” Erin let out a sigh as she fell back against the rest of the bench.

“You want to head to your place? We could watch it there.”

It was obvious, the tension in the air. It all came down to these last few hours. Erin wanted to say yes, she wanted to share the full list of things she had started on prom night. She wanted to grab him by his stupid band t-shirt and pull his face to her own, she wanted to tell him how she felt, every thought that she had regarding him. She wanted to tell him not to go, not to leave. But instead nothing of that sort came out.

“No, it’s okay. Let’s just walk around.” Erin shook her head and immediately was standing up so that there was no room for arguments. She was probably two or three feet away when she turned to the man and nodded her head to the side, pointing to the large area of the park that was blocked off with fair games and prizes. “Let’s see who can beat who in the water gun race, we can call it your first bootcamp training.”

Nestor looked down, his arm was extended on the back rest of the bench as he let out a laugh. “You’re on.”

______

If Erin thought the weight of the days prior felt heavy, this morning made it look like the force of a feather. It took everything in her to get out of bed, to get dressed. It didn’t help that saying goodbye felt nothing like their normal days. Despite the obviousness of it all, it was the surrounding of people Erin couldn’t stand. People who wouldn’t miss him the way she would, some who would but in their own way. Erin stood behind Miguel and the other Oceteva. Emily was there too, along with a few of their other friends. Most of them standing ahead of Erin, giving handshakes and pep talks mixed with hugs and laughs. Erin felt like a stranger, like an outsider. It was a feeling she’d have to get used to, she was about to be alone again. She hated comparing the two, but it reminded her heavily about her father. Erin couldn’t help but think that she was just meant to be in this world solo, no friends, no one close, just her against life.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing, but after experiencing loss time and time again, Erin couldn’t help but feel she just made it worse on herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the sun suddenly stopped shining on her face and it was just a dark shadow in replacement of it. Looking up she saw Nestor, in his boot camp uniform, his hair freshly cut, likely by his brother this morning. He looked nothing like the man she knew, which she thought would make this easier but it made it even harder.

“So I guess, this is it.” Erin held her hand up in an effort to block the sun from hitting her eyes but it was just a displacement behavior to hide her face from Nestor and hopefully manage any emotion that was building up.

“I’m gonna write, you know.” Nestor had his typical young-teen jokey tone of voice behind the little chuckle that came out.

He didn’t realize it at first but it doubled down on everything to Erin. She didn’t feel seen, or understood, if anything it made her think that everything she was feeling was invalid or overexaggerated.

The pain became so evident in Erin’s eyes that no sunglasses, hand over the forehead, or shadow could hide it.

“Hey, I’m serious.” His voice turned earnest. Before any other words could be spoken, Nestor quickly grabbed the girl and brought her against his chest in an embrace. His hands were resting over her shoulders and his head just over her own. Nestor would have never admitted it to anyone but he never thought the smell of shampoo would break his heart the way it was now as he took a harsh inhale as the two teenagers hugged. “I get visitor days, too. I’ll let you know when they are, it’s gonna fly by. I’ll be home before you know it.”

Erin immediately thought about time and how quick the days from prom to now went, how she blinked and the moment arrived and for a minute felt optimistic. Until, she remembered how time worked. Time changed things, time passed slowly when inconvenient and fast when you wanted a moment to savor it. Time rarely worked out in anyone’s favor, and time never worked in Erin’s. She flashed back to saying goodbye to her father, how she expected her weekends to be in a prison parloir amongst people just like her waiting to talk to their convicted love ones but that never happen. Erin was taken off the list and never heard from the man again. She wanted to threaten Nestor, tell him that he had to write, that he had to reach out but it wasn’t her. To be honest, the part of her that knew how to guard herself from pain and hurt started coming out the minute Nestor had told her about joining the Navy and right now was the moment all that progress was going to break or become as solid as a concrete wall.

“Plus, we still have to finish Sound of Music, so obviously I’ll be home soon so we can do that.” Nestor was getting nervous by the girl’s lack of words, it wasn’t like Erin to go silent like this. He’d take any type of response from her, even a sarcastic one. Anything was better than the silence. So he thought.

“Alright, sailor.” Erin was pulling away from the hug but to Nestor it felt more like she was pushing him away. “Don’t all stand on the same side of the ship.” Erin let out a sarcastic joke that normally Nestor would have rolled his eyes at or even responded too but the words gutted him. He didn’t want a sarcastic response, he wanted something deep and real from the girl. It’s when he finally realized what Erin could’ve been feeling.

“You know you still got me, right? I’m not leaving you, I’m–”

“Doing what you gotta do.” Erin’s arms were coming to rub up and down on Nestor’s arm. It was a gesture to ease him but nothing in this moment was going to make either of them feel comfortable.

All Nestor did was nod in response. Erin gave a half smile and squeezed his arm one last time to say goodbye. His brother had honked the horn and yelled out that they needed to go to stay on time. Erin knew there were a few more people who needed to offer their send offs so instead of Nestor leaving her, she pushed him away and let that concrete wall in her heart stand strong and tall.

“Alright sailor, go do what you gotta do.”

_______________

One letter. No visits. Eight years.

It was about one month in when Erin received the letter from Nestor. It had been following the 3 she sent on her own. The first two were nonsensical, filling him in on silly things like town happenings, new movies, what’s been going on with her family. When she didn’t get a reply she just figured there were rules for the new trainees, they probably had limits and needed to build a tolerance and understanding to being separated from home for periods of time. But when Emily had come home and told Erin that Nestor’s brother had passed away, Erin didn’t care about Navy rules. That’s what the third letter was, it was a beautifully written note of her condolences, her sorrows, and her love and pain for Nestor, despite her opinion on the older Oceteva, she was fully aware of the bond they shared and how this would affect Nestor especially after losing his parents.

When she got his letter back, she knew it was going to be filled with pain and sadness, but she didn’t expect it to be towards her. She read it over and over again, to make sure she was understanding the words correctly. It was a form of torture reading that letter again and again. The coldness in Nestor, the lack of depth in his words, the inadequate reasonings as to why he was doing this.

After boot camp I’m deploying for 3 cycles. Not coming home anytime soon. Writing to let you know that you should stop. Stop sending letters, stop reaching out, stop thinking about me completely.

-Oceteva

After the first day of rereading it came the second. On that second day she only read it once before she set it to flames along with any other mental attachment she had to Nestor. Her pain took her so far that she left Santo Padre on the third day and never looked back.

But here she was eight years later. Back in her hometown but a completely different person. One of ferocity and of independence. She was a person who didn’t take shit from anyone, opinionated and never stifled. It was honestly a lot of her traits from a teenager but heightened, pulled more to the forefront. She never stayed in one place or held onto a relationship for too long, either. She was truly a wildcard.

Currently she was holding up the rocker sign to the security camera that sat in the entrance of her older sister’s house. She didn’t exactly want to be there, but when Miguel called her while she could easily say no to him, she couldn’t say no to Emily. And the way he described it, Emily needed help.

Erin sat on the couch, feeling the weight of their conversation.

“I do always disappear because I hate this fucking town. I never loved it like you do.” Erin was visibly stressed as she spoke to her sister.

“I know but it’s where we grew up. So all our memories are here.” Emily had a definiteness to her words.

“Mm-hmm. Yeah.” Erin crossed her arms and looked up at Emily, a sense of power in her stare. “That’s the problem.” A sarcastic smile filled her face for the briefest second before it fell into a straight face. “I thought you out of all people would understand.” Erin pushed off the kitchen island and crossed her arms.

“Understand what?” Emily was frowning as she brought her espresso cup up to her mouth.

“How often do you see EZ, Em? Must be tough living in this small town running into your teenage sweetheart. The pride of Santo Padre.” Erin was purposely choosing words that would sting and felt emotionally heavy in hopes Emily would get what she was saying without having to say what she actually meant out loud.

The look on Emily’s face gave it away. It was a mix of feeling sick at the mention of EZ, since he went away and Emily went to college it was never brought up again, never talked about between the sisters. It didn’t help that the two didn’t exactly have the bond they used to but it was likely that even if they did Emily would have never brought it up.

“I didn’t realize–” Emily shook her head looking for the right words to say, “you left so soon after he did that I just–” she stopped that sentence and started a new one realizing that thought wasn’t what should have been the sentiment shared to her little sister in this moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize.”

That wasn’t exactly the most comforting response either but it was better than rehashing the details.

“All good. We all got our own lives to live, shit to do. Obligations.” That last word was said with such grit and harshness, a repetition of something Emily had used earlier in her argument with Erin to get a leg up on her and belittle her little sister but now was coming back to bite her.

“Make yourself at home, Miguel is out on a work thing and I’m about to head out, we’re still in the process of unpacking so it’s kind of crazy.” Emily changed the subject and took a deep inhale as a way to clear the air from their discussion.

“You got doors on your bedrooms so it’s automatically better than the last house I lived at in Santo Padre.” Erin smirked, a smile where her teeth didn’t show and her cheeks barely raised. It was a smile that would have earned her a slap across the face from her mother but from Emily it just earned her the same smile back as she walked away.

Which is what lead Erin to be sitting on the couch, her arm over her forehead with her eyes shut wishing she was anywhere but here. She shot up quickly though at the sound of a door closing, not sure who it could be if Miguel and Emily were out, she knew her sister had hired help around the house with cleaning and that Miguel had security so it was extremely likely to be someone of that nature but it didn’t stop her from being curious.

As she stood up she peaked into the kitchen where she saw the fridge door open and a pair of slacks and dress shoes. The top half of the person was covered by the door but she assumed by the looks of it, it was a security person.

“Just announcing my presence, don’t want to be shot or anything, I’m Emily’s sister, gonna be here for a while.”

A hand rested on the door of the fridge now it stayed there for 10 seconds before it closed revealing the person in entirety.

Erin recognized him immediately, eight years of differences but she could see right through them. After looking at everything that was the same, she took in what was different. He was more built now, he always had a broad chest but now it was more defined. His hair was in two french braids but you could see the curls peeking out through his baby hairs. As her eyes moved down she saw him wearing a button up dress shirt, anyone else could have overseen the purple color to it, but it was a perfect match to what the eldest Oceteva brother drove when they were in high school.

“What are you doing here?” Nestor’s voice was shaky as he spoke.

Erin let out a scoff. “What am I doing here? It’s my sister's house. What are you doing here?” Her eyes looked down to the holsters across his arms, the guns snuggled tightly in their respective places and it hit her. “Holy shit, you work for him.”

Immediately, she thought about all the things she was going to say to her sister for not warning her, for not giving her the heads up, especially after the things they talked about. It might not have been direct, but Erin knew Emily understood the weight of everything she was saying and she was definitely going to ring her sister out.

Nestor just stood there, not sure what to say.

“You know, I pictured this, running into you back home, the part of me that still romanticizes shit thought maybe it’d be at the day before summer festival, Sound of Music on that stupid blow up projector. I thought you’d apologize, tell me what the fuck happened in that thick ass skull of yours five years ago. And even if nothing came out of it, we’d have some type of fucking closure, some answers.”

“Erin.” Nestor spoke like he was going to take a step forward but he was still frozen in place.

“You’re just as much of the mystery man you were when I first met you. Serial killer and all.” She pointed at the guns on his side, a smile on her face but it was one of full shock and heartbreak.

“I pushed you away because it was the best thing.” It was the first real thing Nestor had said since the two were sharing space in the kitchen.

“And this?” Erin waved her hands in reference to the house around her. “Is this the best thing?” Her hand moved to her head as if a headache was onsetting which wouldn’t have been much of a surprise based on the situation going on right now. “For fucks sake, Nestor. We used to make fun of these guys, we used to shit on them, we hated them.”

“I never hated them. I told you. I told you Mikey was like a brother to me.” There he was the young vocal Nestor that only Erin and a good amount of alcohol could bring out these days.

“So you decide to come and do his dirty work, be his little bitch?” Erin wasn’t going to hold back now. “Real brotherly. Would a brother take your life from you, what kind of fucking life is this Nestor?”

“One with purpose.” He responded so quickly like it was an automated response, like he was on a job interview or was given a script.

Erin let out a laugh. “And to think I loved you.” Her eyes were wide at the statement, it was something she never said out loud before, she thought it, but never spoke it. But that wasn’t why her eyes were wide, it was the shock of whatever was unfolding in front of her.

At the mention of love, Nestor went soft. His eyes softened. Yet another way the two were on completely different pages, completely different wavelengths.

“Er.”

“Don’t worry about it, Nes,” Erin retorted with her own nickname. “We just became the people we were meant to be.” Erin shrugged and made her way toward Nestor. The two were now inches from one another like they were the last time they saw each other, except now Erin wasn’t going to hide any of her emotion, she wasn’t going to bite back any anger.

“I’m not planning on being here long. Got a disappearing act to keep up with. Wouldn’t want to drop any stars on Yelp, you know. Erin the wild, in your city one day and out the next. Guess I have you and my dear old dad to thank for that.”

“Erin.” Nestor whispered her full name and went to move so he could try and grab her hands but she pulled them away like she was near a hot stove. Her hand gravitated to his shoulder and patted it in such a sarcastic manner, the attitude dripping off every syllable she spoke before pushing past him and leaving him alone in the kitchen.

“You do what you gotta do, Nestor. Like you always have.”

[drabbles-mc]

Left Behind

Nestor Oceteva x Erin Thomas

For Day 21 of @whumpril's 2023 Challenge: scars / "It's just a scratch."

Warnings: 18+, smut, language, mentions of blood/injury, alcohol

This fic is technically a follow-up to Doctor Recommended but it can be read as a standalone.

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: I went into this with whump in mind and somehow it turned into smut. So. You know. We're being generous with calling this a whump fic lmao. Also I write smut once maybe every five thousand years?? So go easy on me. Honestly, mj said that they need to make out and fuck on the counter and they were so right!!! So here goes!!!

Mayans Taglist: @buckybarneshairpullingkink @paintballkid711 @queenbeered @kelpies-shed @gemini0410 @mijagif @amorestevens @garbinge @justreblogginfics @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @littlekittymeow @artemiseamoon @nessamc @withmyteeth @crowfootwrites @beardburnsupersoldiers @winchestershiresauce @frattsparty @fanfic-n-tabulous @justazzi @narcolini @darqchilddaydreamz @passionatewrites @camelia35 (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

There was a specific type of stillness in the house since Miguel, Emily, and Cristobal had left. Erin was looking forward to having the entire Galindo mansion all to herself. She knew better than to ask why she hadn’t been part of the family invite to go to whatever event for whatever cover business Miguel was currently opening. The reality was that they were doing her a favor leaving her behind, because it wasn’t like she would’ve had a good time anyway.

She’d had her music on, for the entire afternoon, content to relax and enjoy herself with no spectators around for once. As the afternoon started to fade into the evening, she let herself into Emily’s extensive stash of wine. She figured that it wasn’t as though her sister was really going to notice a bottle or two missing—reality was that someone would probably replace them before anyone else besides Erin even knew that they were gone.

She was upstairs, changing and swapping out her regular clothes for her pajamas. Her cropped t-shirt being exchanged for an over-sized one, jeans being traded in for a pair of soft shorts. She was in the middle of that when she heard the door shutting downstairs.

Neither Miguel nor Emily had mentioned anything about anyone stopping by while they were gone for the next couple of days. Erin figured that maybe one of the various people they hired to help take care of the house, the pool, the garden, the whatever, might stop by at some point. But it was a little late for that. She frowned for a moment, leaning down and reaching underneath what had become her bed for the baseball bat that she’d gotten to keep under there after the last time she got scared and realized that all she had to defend herself were her own two hands.

Emily had laughed and rolled her eyes when Erin came home with it. And why wouldn’t she? Why would a woman whose husband had a whole security team dedicated to keeping her safe and running interference ever feel like she needed an extra line of protection? But Erin didn’t trust anyone enough to not have a failsafe. She definitely didn’t have enough faith in Miguel to trust him blindly.

Creeping quietly across the hallway that led to the staircase, Erin kept her bat raised and at the ready. Her bare feet were silent on the staircase as she slowly made her way down. She was nearly to the bottom step when whoever it was that had entered the house turned her music down. She frowned, adjusting her grip around the handle before stepping onto the first floor of the house.

She heard someone’s footsteps coming from the kitchen, and she felt herself holding her breath as she waited to catch sight of whoever it was, or hear them. There was the muffled clattering of things hitting the counter. She took a couple more steps towards the kitchen when she caught a quick glimpse of him, shuffling around the kitchen putting things away.

She sighed, arms dropping back to her sides, tip of the bat tapping harshly against the hardwood floor. “What the fuck, Nestor?”

He materialized, stepping out around the dividing wall between the kitchen and the rest of the house. “What?”

She made a broad gesture with her empty hand. “Do you ever think to announce yourself? Say hello, maybe?”

“Who else would it be?”

She pointed the bat at him. “That’s exactly my fucking point.”

He shrugged. “Least you brought a bat with you this time.”

Despite the initial urge to laugh at his comment, Erin mentioned to refrain. In turn, she made her own reference to the run-in they’d had about a month prior. “Least you can use both arms this time.”

He didn’t smile but Erin could see the way that he almost wanted to. Perching the bat against her shoulder, she strode into the kitchen. Nestor waited for her to say something else, but when she didn’t, he went back to the task he’d been engrossed in before. Erin leaned against her side of the island, watching as he put things away. All the time that she’d been spending at Emily and Miguel’s house, and she still couldn’t say with certainty if there was anything that necessarily fell outside of Nestor’s scope of responsibility.

“Thought you would’ve been part of the family vacation,” she finally said.

Nestor shrugged, not turning around to face her as he replied, “Could say the same about you.”

Erin laughed at that. “Emily treats me like a feral cat—she’ll feed me at home but she’s sure as shit not gonna bring me anywhere.” She paused. “What’s your excuse?”

He pulled out a bottle of wine, same label as the one that was already on the counter and nearly empty. “Taking care of the feral cat.”

She laughed again. “Oh, he has a sense of humor.” She finally set the bat down, leaning it against the side of the island. “Just takes being in an empty house.” There was a stretch of silence before Erin spoke up again. “You don’t have to stay. Feels like a waste of time.”

He shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

He raised his eyebrows slightly. “Right. You have a bat.”

She smirked. “Exactly. See? You get it. So go home.”

“Can’t,” he said with another shake of his head.

Erin rolled her eyes. “Your boyfriend isn’t here—you don’t have to listen to him. I’m not gonna snitch on you to Mike if you actually decide to go and try to have a life for the next forty-eight hours.”

“Erin,” exasperation was dripping off the singular word, so much so that he didn’t even have to say anything else.

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes as she walked over to the speaker that her phone was hooked up to, turning the volume back up a bit as she continued, “but you don’t get to turn my music off.”

The two of moved around each other, both working separately in the same space. Nestor was putting away the last few things that he’d brought, and Erin was finally starting to pull something together for dinner. For as much as Nestor wanted to reach over and turn the music back down, he did have to admit that the noise made it so that he didn’t feel like he was supposed to be entertaining some kind of conversation. Erin had no problem doing most of the talking anyway, but this was all much more Nestor’s speed.

Erin was reaching for something in the same cabinet as Nestor when she saw a stain on his sleeve. Normally it wasn’t something that she would notice or pay much mind to, but the rust color that was tarnishing the floral print of his button-down was difficult to ignore.

“What happened to your arm?” she asked, her tone casual as she moved back to the stove.

Nestor’s brows furrowed as he turned his arm over to look at what exactly she was referring to. He frowned, more out of annoyance than pain. Shaking his head, he said, “Nothing.”

Erin chuckled, rolling her eyes. “I don’t think you know what that word means.”

He didn’t want to feed into the argument but before he could stop himself, he said, “It’s fine.”

She stopped, turning so that she was facing him. “It’s nothing,” she mocked, “It’s fine. It’s just a scratch.” She shook her head at him. “You’re gonna lose that arm, dude.”

Nestor took a deep breath, like he was gearing up to have some sort of response that would stop the debate before it began. Instead, he let out a sigh and finished up what he was doing, shutting the cabinet when he was done. Without another word, he turned and started to walk out of the kitchen, giving Erin the space she had clearly been looking forward to having when everyone else had left.

He didn’t even make it past the threshold when she spoke up. “Let me see it.” She watched as he turned around, confusion on his face. “Let me see your arm,” she elaborated.

Nestor wanted to ask why, wanted to have some sort of slick, sarcastic comment in response to the question the same way she seemed to have one for everything that he, or anyone else really, ever said. Nothing came out, though. He simply just shook his head.

“I’m serious,” she said as she took a step in his direction.

“Since when?”

She scoffed. “You know, what? Fine.” She threw her hands up in defeat. “But when you have to get that shit amputated, I’m not going to feel sorry for you.”

The cut really hadn’t been that bad. It hadn’t even needed stitches. And, coming off having to wear a sling for the last month, it hardly even made a blip on his radar. Still, despite the fact that Erin was talking like she was going to give up on the whole thing, Nestor knew better. She was nothing if not incessant. With a deep sigh, he walked back over, undoing the buttons at the cuff of his sleeve as he went.

Rolling the fabric back, Nestor revealed the white gauze that was wrapped around his forearm. Well, the gauze had started off white. It was almost entirely red now, the gash running up his forearm having reopened at some point throughout the day when he hadn’t realized it. He was looking down at the blood-soaked bandage, clearly unimpressed.

When his eyes wandered back up to Erin’s face, he couldn’t get a good read on her expression. It wasn’t really one that he’d seen on her before. He stood and waited for the joke, the jab, but it never came. He watched her shoulders rise and fall in a sigh. Shaking her head, she turned around and went to shut the stove off, clearly abandoning whatever plans she’d had for making dinner for herself.

“What?” he finally asked.

She gestured to the bandage. “You can’t leave it like that.”

He shrugged. “I can take care—”

“Obviously, you can’t. Or won’t. Either way…” her voice trailed off as she walked out of the kitchen and went off to get something to replace the bandage with.

Nestor called after her, but she didn’t even give him a verbal response. All he got was a good look at the back of her head and a waving-off gesture as she went off to do exactly what she wanted to and nothing less.

When she came back, she had a first aid kit in her hands. Nestor watched her from where he was seated at the island. His arm was perched against it, a dish towel keeping him from getting blood all over the countertop.

She set the first aid kit onto the surface of the island next to him. She studied his forearm before she looked him in the eyes again. “Couldn’t take the bandage off while I was gone?”

“I told you it’s fine,” he repeated, no real emotion coming through his voice one way or another.

She rolled her eyes. “How have you lived this long when you have no self-preservation skills?”

Nestor could sense that the question was rhetorical, so he kept his mouth shut as he watched her start to slowly peel away and unravel the gauze that was wrapped around his forearm. The pull of it against the cut that was trying to clot stung every now and then, but he didn’t say anything, didn’t let it show.

The more gauze she unraveled, the more Erin realized that the cut was more serious than she had originally thought. She noticed the way that it continued up underneath his sleeve, skin she didn’t have access to. Exhaling through her nose, she looked up at the ceiling for a second before looking back at Nestor.

“You’re not going to make me ask, are you?”

He lifted is eyebrows slightly. “Ask what?”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “So you are going to make me ask, make me feel like some kind of creep.” She tapped the rolled up sleeve of his shirt. “Take this off.”

Much to Erin’s surprise, Nestor didn’t bat an eye at the request. She figured that he would drag it out, or just outright refuse. But he just reached and started to undo the buttons on his dress-shirt. He wasn’t looking at her as he said, “Wasn’t a question, but alright.”

She laughed quietly. “Can’t say no if it’s not a question.”

That got half of a smirk out of him. Erin was picking through the kit on the counter. Even though she wasn’t looking at him, out of the corner of her eye she couldn’t help but to notice all of the ink on his chest and stomach. She expected him to have on a tank top or a t-shirt underneath—it was a surprise but it wasn’t one that she was upset about.

Her eyes were still trained on the bandages in the first aid kit as she said, “No undershirt? Seems a little scandalous for the workplace.”

Nestor huffed out something that was almost a chuckle. “Wasn’t expecting to have to take my shirt off.”

She looked over at him then, eyes moving even though her head didn’t. “That’s fair.”

That was the last comment she made about it as she went back to taking off what little gauze was still wrapped around his arm. She promptly tossed the bloodied bandage into the trash can before grabbing a washcloth to run under warm water, something to clean off the dried blood that was still stuck to his skin.

Nestor was surprised at how careful and gentle she was as she cleaned the blood away. With someone who seemed to move through life with nothing but reckless abandon, he wasn’t mentally prepared for her to have such a deft hand with this. He didn’t comment on it, though.

“Should I even bother asking how this happened?” Erin couldn’t even try to venture a guess. Despite what Nestor had said to her before, it was much more than just a scratch. If it had been any worse he definitely would’ve needed stitches. He probably still needed to get it checked out by a professional but she was sure that that hadn’t happened. Then he’d have to give some doctor an explanation that wasn’t whatever illegal activities had most definitely caused the injury.

He didn’t want to tell her, but he didn’t want to lie to her, either. So, he shook his head. “No.”

She smiled even though she knew she probably shouldn’t. “Right.”

Even though Nestor very rarely took the time to take as much care of his injuries as he should, he did know basic first aid. Maybe it wasn’t fair, but his default was thinking that Erin probably didn’t. He kept a close eye on her as she worked. Even with the music in the background, it still felt like the house was extremely quiet. Nestor was watching Erin and her singular focus on his arm, the way that she finished cleaning and started wrapping it back up again. He had been waiting for an opportunity to advise or correct her, but it didn’t happen.

He wanted to ask her how she got so good efficient at it, why she was able to do it so confidently, but he had the feeling that he wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of her. He watched with piqued interest as she tied off the last of the gauze, the small knot resting on his arm just enough to the side where it wouldn’t get in the way of him comfortably resting his arm against the counter or anything else.

She finally pried her eyes from his arm and looked back up at his face. “Any other injuries I should know about?”

He shook his head, fighting harder than he cared to admit to keep a neutral expression—he’d never hear the end of it if he let her know that he was impressed. “No.”

Shrugging, she walked back towards the sink. “Alright.”

Now that she didn’t have to devote her focus to the open wound on his arm, Erin took a moment to actually look at the rest of him. She knew that she shouldn’t have been surprised, necessarily, to find out that most of him was covered in tattoos, but she still found herself staring longer than she should’ve as she scrubbed his blood from her hands.

When she looked back up at his face, she found him already staring at her. Her face suddenly felt hot and this warmth wasn’t coming from the wine she’d been drinking all evening. Clearing her throat, she reached and shut the faucet off. “Shit’s probably gonna scar,” she said, nodding towards his arm as she dried her hands. “It’s probably going to mess up your ink.”

He shook his head, holding his button-down in his hand but not making any move to put it back on yet. “I’m used to it.”

Erin chuckled, not sure what else was a proper response to that statement. “Good? I guess?” She shook her head as she walked back over to him. “What the hell am I supposed to say to that?”

“You always come up with something.”

It wasn’t untrue. However, now that she was closer to him, she had a hard time coming up with something to say about anything. She looked at his other tattoos, all of the ink splattered across his chest and down his arms, territory that was usually buried underneath one of what seemed like a thousand different floral dress shirts. And, sure enough, when she looked closely at a few of them, she could see the blemishes, scars that broke up what used to be perfect lines and seamless shading. All that damage and for what?

Before she even knew what she was doing, Erin reached out and traced her fingertips along one of the raised scars that was just below Nestor’s shoulder, running parallel to it and stopping just before it reached his arm. He didn’t pull away, didn’t flinch in the slightest. But it only took a couple seconds for Erin to realize what she was doing, quickly yanking her hand back as embarrassment flooded her face, a look that Nestor wasn’t acquainted with on her.

“Shit. Sorry. That,” she laughed nervously, “that was fucking weird of me.”

“It’s fine.” The words didn’t match up with the neutral expression on his face, but neutral was the best Nestor could do as he tried to figure out what he was actually feeling.

Erin laughed, shaking her head. “No, it’s n—” She stopped herself short when she finally looked him in the eyes again, the look in them one that she hadn’t seen before.

Nestor watched the embarrassment melt away from her expression the longer that she stood there looking at him. She wanted to say something, do something, but never in her life had she been able to gauge what Nestor was actually feeling or thinking. The last thing she wanted to do was make this situation anymore volatile than she already had. Part of her wanted to try and walk away, but it felt like her feet were glued to the floor.

Unable to make herself do anything else, she reached and rested her hand against him again, fingertips brushing over his scar, the tattoo that it cut through, her palm resting just far enough onto his chest for her to be able to feel how quickly his heart was hammering away in his chest. Her eyes slowly pried away until she was looking at his face again, and she was met with an expression that even though she’d never seen it on him, she knew exactly what it meant.

Nestor saw the way that she opened her mouth to say something, and he didn’t give her the chance to. Before either of them could fully process what was happening, Nestor was up out of his chair, shirt falling to the floor, crowding her back against the edge of the island as his lips crashed into hers.

There was no resistance, like she’d been expecting it, hoping for it. She pushed up into him, her hand sliding up just enough to grip onto his shoulder, nails digging in like a cue to give her more. He had one hand braced against the edge of the counter on either side of her, caging her in. He leaned against her more, the heat radiating off his chest enough to soak through her shirt onto her own skin.

She brought both hands up, resting them on either side of his neck for a moment before allowing them to slide down, fingers splaying as they raked over his chest. She lightly pulled his lip between her teeth as she pulled away. Even when they’d come back up for air, their lips weren’t even an inch apart, each of them able to feel the other’s unsteady breaths.

“Fuck,” the word came out hushed, nearly buried underneath her breath and the music that was still filling the kitchen.

Nestor hesitated, trying to figure out if that reaction was a good one or a bad one. He didn’t move, waiting for some other cue from her about whether he should leave, or whether he should keep going. He knew which of those options he was hoping it’d be.

He was about to ask if she was okay when she slid her hands back up, interlocking them behind his neck so that she could pull him back down into another kiss. Nestor wasted no time in obliging, bringing his hands to the small of her back for a moment before sliding them down over her ass until they were resting on the backs of her thighs. Without pulling his lips off of hers, Nestor lifted her up, hooking her legs around his waist as he set her on the edge of the island.

He brought his hands to the tops of her thighs, digging his fingers into the flesh there enough so that he could pull her closer, tighter, until the only space between his hips and hers were the clothes between them. He felt her lock her legs tighter around him, not allowing either of them space to pull away as his hands crept up her legs.

Nestor pulled his lips off hers only to drag them along her jaw and down onto her neck. He grazed his teeth along the sensitive skin there, feeling the way her nails sank into the exposed skin of his back as he did. She could feel the way his lips curled into the first real smile she’d ever gotten out of him as one of his hands slipped up well past the hem of her shorts, thumb finding the space where her thigh met her hip.

She caught his lips with hers as his hand strayed between her legs. He eagerly swallowed the moan she let out as he pulled her panties to the side, allowing him to feel what he’d done to her. If there had been any hesitation left in his body at all, it was gone the second he felt her grinding against his hand. She more than willingly took whatever he was giving her, one of her hands resting against the back of his head to keep his lips pinned to hers as she tried to pull more and more from him.

When he recoiled the slightest bit, putting just a fraction of distance between them, Erin couldn’t stop the whine that escaped her. Nestor’s eyes bore into hers, tongue running along his bottom lip as he tried to commit the sound to memory. He couldn’t take his eyes off her face as his hands landed on the waistband of her shorts. He was twisting his fingers into the fabric as he took in the hazy look in her eyes, her kiss-swollen lips.

He felt like he was supposed to have something to say, but that’d never been his strong suit. Instead, he gave a slight tug at her waistband, a wordless call for assistance. Bracing her hands against his shoulders, she obliged, lifting her hips off the island just enough to slide her shorts down off of them. She unhooked her legs from around his waist, allowing him to put space between them just enough so that he could slide them off and let them drop to the floor.

His lips were back on hers in a second, hand trailing down over the fabric of her shirt, only to slip underneath it and travel their way back up, calloused hands traveling over the soft skin of her stomach and sides. It was only then that he realized that Erin had some unexplained scars of her own, the ridges and divots of them passing beneath the pads of his fingers. Questions for another night.

He’d been so distracted by his own wandering hands that he almost missed the way that hers were now working at the buckle of his belt. She made quick work of it, not having any issues despite the fact that she was flying blind. Nestor’s breath caught in his throat as she undid the button and zipper of his slacks as well.

Nestor took the cues he’d been given, hands moving to grip onto her hips. She let him guide her forward, precarious on the edge of the counter but she trusted him not to let her drop. The string of raspy curses that Nestor let out as he slid into her made a smirk pull at the edge of her mouth for just a moment before her mouth was back on his again.

Erin had one hand on his shoulder, one wrapped around the edge of the counter to keep herself steady. There was something in the fierceness of his grip, how tightly he kept his hold on her, that almost made Erin want to put up a bit of a fight. She wanted to make him work for it, just because she could. But he felt too good sliding in and out of her to try and make him stop or slow down now. Next time.

Nestor moved one hand, temporarily releasing the bruising grip he had on her hips as he brought his hand up to the side of her face. His hand rested there, thumb dragging along her cheekbone for a moment until she pulled her lips off of his. The softness of the gesture in contrast to everything else had caught her off-guard. He ran his thumb along her bottom lip, watching the way she fought to get her composure back, a pointless task if ever there was one.

He lingered, thumb against her chin, lips mere centimeters from hers. He wondered how long he was going to be able to drag the moment out for. However, he’d hardly finished thinking the thought when Erin wrapped her legs tighter around him, pulling him farther into her and putting his lips back against hers in a clumsy, needy kiss.

It was all hands and teeth and shuddered breath as the two of them fought just to see how close they could get. The intensity had caught Erin off-guard coming from someone who never seemed to bat an eye or be enthusiastic about anything. It was almost like he was a completely different man sinking his teeth into the space where her neck met her shoulder. She felt the way his intensity picked up, movements a little more desperate. Her nails raked across his back, trying to anchor herself in the midst of feeling like she was losing herself in him.

It felt like it took more effort than it should to try and untangle herself from around him when it was over. For a minute, neither of them even tried. Nestor let her stay wrapped around him and she let him keep leaning against her and the island beneath her for support. The rise and fall of their chests were drastic, out of sync as Nestor rested his forehead against hers.

Erin’s hands slid down so that her palms were flat against his chest again. She didn’t pull away from him as she felt the thrum of his heartbeat beneath her hand. Once she caught her breath enough, she managed a quiet laugh.

Nestor didn’t even pull away at that, instead he just asked, “What?”

She let the sound of his breathless voice bounce around her brain for a few moments before finally making herself answer. “Not sure what I’m supposed to say to you.”

There was a half-smile on Nestor’s face as he pulled back to be able to look her in the eyes. “That all it took?”

She laughed a little harder, shaking her head at him. “Shut up.” Finally taking her hands off him, she placed them on the counter. “Can I have my underwear now? And my shorts?”

She ran her hands down her face as Nestor readjusted himself and picked her clothes up off the floor. He handed them to her, watching as she shook her head. She pulled them up her legs, managing to just get them over her hips.

“Well, now that we’ve thoroughly disrespected Mike and Emily’s counter,” she said with a laugh as she hopped down, feet landing silently on the floor, “I’m gonna go, you know, shower.”

Nestor looked down at her, noticing the way that she was still pinned between him and the edge of the counter behind her. His face went back to being hard to read as he nodded at her. “Okay.”

“You’re not gonna be, like, fuckin’ weird about this, right?” she asked, not really sure what him being weird about it would even look like.

He shook his head. “No.”

“Good. Reassuring,” there was her usual hint of sarcasm in her voice as she said it. When he didn’t move to let her leave, Erin found her eyes traveling all over him again, the reality sinking in that it might be the first and last time that she got to see him like this. Her gaze finally landed back on his bandaged arm, the thing that got this entire mess started. She touched it lightly with her fingers, noticing the way that he didn’t pull away from her. “So now do I get to know what happened?”

Shaking his head slightly, he moved to the side, allowing her to leave. “Go shower.”

She rolled her eyes, but there was still a smile on her face as she said, “Whatever.”

Just when she was about to walk out of the kitchen, Nestor called after her, “Don’t forget your bat.”

Turning around, she faced him as she kept walking, in the opposite direction. “If you’re here, I apparently don’t need it, so,” she threw her hands up before turning back around and making her way up the stairs.

Nestor shook his head at her as he watched her silently make her way back up the stairs. Once she was out of sight, he swiped his bloodied shirt up off the floor, holding it in his hand as he walked over and, once again, turned her music down. Dragging his free hand down his face, he looked up at the ceiling for a moment as he tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened.  Taking a deep breath, he tried not to overthink it. He couldn’t help but to look at the bandage wrapped around his arm, couldn’t stop the tiny hint of a smile that crossed his face as he looked at it, not caring about the mess that was sure to follow.

[drabbles-mc]

Fic Author Self-Rec!

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Thank you so much @flightlessangelwings for the tag! 💕

(Trying to choose ones from different fandoms because the impulse to just put all of my fics for The Bear?? Unreal 😂)

The Bridge (Carmy Berzatto Fic)

Round-Trip Ticket (Steve Murphy x OC Fic)

Fresh Start (Nacho Varga x Gabriela Castillo Fic)

Left Behind (Nestor Oceteva x Erin Thomas Fic)

Closing the Gap (Carmy Berzatto x Luca Fic)

Honorable Mention: Let Me Help (Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff Fic)

I love all of these fics for vastly different reasons and I could wax poetic about all of them for ages, but I shan't 😂 They're all very near and dear to my heart though! Love all my funky little characters. 🥰

Tagging: @darqchilddaydreamz @ashlingiswriting @hausofmamadas @narcolini @withmyteeth @garbinge

[drabbles-mc]

WIP Game

Rules: reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit! (i never have enough people to tag to tackle my insane list of wips lmfao)

I got tagged by @bullet-prooflove! 💞 The way these games always drag me clean through the fuckin' mud because I'm always adding to my wips with no end in sight 😂 To keep this manageable, I'm just going to post the WIPs that I haven't uploaded anything of yet lmao

No Vacancy - Bucky Barnes x F!Reader, Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Brassknuckle - Edward Horniman x F!Reader

Hands All Over - Rick Flag x F!Reader

The Real Deal - Sydney Adamu & Mikey Berzatto & Richie Jerimovich

Back the Same - Elias Ryker x Kristin Ortega

Against All Odds - Juice Ortiz x OC Chris Teller

Your Mess - Nacho Varga x F!Reader

There and Back - Nestor Oceteva x Erin Thomas

Untitled - Marcus Brooks x OC

Bad Ideas - Canche x OC Lia Reyes

Honest with Me - Juice x OC

Beautiful Stranger - Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff

Already Met - Javier Peña x F!Reader

Off-Limits - Gilly Lopez x OC Tasha Losa-Harris

They Were Roommates - Angel Reyes x OC Luciana Rodriguez, Nestor Oceteva x OC Jazmin Werner

Rookie Mistakes - Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Getting Off Easy - EZ Reyes x Nestor Oceteva

Untitled - Bloodline & Outer Banks Crossover

For Everything - Happy Lowman x OC Natalie Rose Teller

Brick by Brick - Opie Winston x OC Audra Martin

Five Year Plan - Horacio Carrillo x F!Reader

Coming to Terms - Rafe Cameron x OC

Off the Ropes - Mayans Boxing AU

Pieces Into Place - EZ Reyes x OC Tala Clemente

Something New - Happy Lowman & OC Breanna Wilson

From the Start - Opie Winston x OC Chris Teller

Better Than That - Angel Reyes x F!Reader, Coco Cruz x F!Reader

Chaos at the Lakehouse - SOA & OCs

How We Got Here - Coco Cruz x OC Daniela Reyes

5 Times - Jax Teller & OC Diedra Lowman

the way i love all of these stories and desperately want them all to see the light of day eventually lmao. but feel free to fire away! i'm more than happy to talk about any and all of them 🥰

Tagging (no pressure as always): @darqchilddaydreamz @spaghettificationandpretzels @garbinge @ashlingiswriting @ravennaortiz @late-to-the-party-81 @proceduralpassion @artemiseamoon and anyone else who wants to join! 🥰

[drabbles-mc]

Whumpril Masterlist

Putting all of my Whumpril fics (and their respective pairings) under the cut! I will work on adding all of them to my main masterlist (which you can find Here), but I figured it would be cool to just have one dedicated to Whumpril!

Day 1: Idle Hands (Pope Heyward x Cleo)

Day 2: Get Some Rest (Marcus Alvarez x F!Reader)

Day 3: Tailed (Happy Lowman x F!Reader)

Day 4: The Same Mistakes (Isabella Bautista)

Day 5: Should've Seen It Coming (Nacho Varga x F!Reader)

Day 6: Doctor Recommended (Nestor Oceteva & Erin Thomas)

Day 7: It's Gonna Hurt (Steve Murphy x Connie Murphy)

Day 8: Whatever You Can (Opie Winston & OC Veronica Winston)

Day 9: Who Did This? (Jax Teller & OC Diedra Lowman)

Day 10: On My Own (Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers)

Day 11: What Did You Do? (Richie Jerimovich & Mikey Berzatto)

Day 12: Grave Mistakes (Horacio Carrillo & OC Diego Ramírez)

Day 13: Last Resort (John Wick & GN!Reader)

Day 14: I Said I'm Fine (JJ Maybank x F!Reader)

Day 15: Again and Again Part 3 (Juice Ortiz & Marcus Alvarez)

Day 16: Collateral Damage (Angel Reyes x GN!Reader)

Day 17: I Can't Do This (John B Routledge x F!Reader)

Day 18: All For Nothing (Angel Reyes & F!Reader)

Day 19: Flashbacks (EZ Reyes x F!Reader)

Day 20: Do I Know You? (Harry Hart x Merlin)

Day 21: Left Behind (Nestor Oceteva x Erin Thomas)

Day 22: Nothing New Part 2 (EZ Reyes x OC Lola Ortega)

Day 23: Nothing To Tell (Tig Trager & OC Claire Morrow)

Day 24: What Have You Done? (Horacio Carrillo & GN!Reader)

Day 25: More To Say (Javier Peña & GN!Reader)

Day 26: Won't Leave You Behind (Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers)

Day 27: Good For Something (Horacio Carrillo x GN!Reader)

Day 28: The Worst Of It (Coco Cruz x OC Daniela Reyes)

Day 29: Out Of Time (Amado Carrillo Fuentes x F!Reader)

Day 30: Far From Over (Gilly Lopez x OC Josephine Costa)

[drabbles-mc]

Fanfic WIP Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and I’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips

Thanks for the tag, @twistnet! This is forcing me to reckon with just how many wips I have, and oof it’s a lot lmao. Not posting the titles of ones that I’ve already started posting on here, but you guys all get to see the shame of the rest of my wips that haven’t yet seen the light of day 😅

Brick by Brick (Opie x OC fic)

They Were Roommates (Nestor x OC, Angel x OC fic)

From the Start (Opie x Chris Teller fic)

Better Than That (Coco Cruz x Reader fic)

For Everything (Happy Lowman x Natalie Teller fic)

Pieces Into Place (EZ Reyes x OC fic)

Diego Scenes (OC Diego Ramirez x Reader drabbles)

Boxing AU (Mayans x OC fic)

Chaos at the Lakehouse (SOA x OCs fic)

Still Alive (Angel Reyes x Reader fic)

On Your Mind (Horacio Carrillo x OC fic)

There and Back (Nestor Oceteva x Erin Thomas fic)

How We Got Here (Coco Cruz x Daniela Reyes fic)

Tryst (Kozik x Tawnie Trager fic)

Recovery (Juice Ortiz x Reader fic)

Coming to Terms (Rafe Cameron x OC fic)

Against All Odds (Juice Ortiz x Chris Teller fic)

5 Times (Jax Teller x Diedra Lowman fic)

Honest With Me (Juice Ortiz x OC fic)

Beautician AU (Letty Cruz & OC’s fic)

Favorite Place (Michael ‘Riz’ Ariza x Reader fic)

Tragic (Angel Reyes x OC fic)

Figuring It Out (Happy Lowman x OC fic)

I would love to talk or answer questions about any and all of these, so please don’t hesitate to send stuff in! Maybe it’ll get some of them to eventually move out of my WIP folder lmao

Because I am a wip-creating monster there is no way I’m gonna tag someone for each of these titles. 😂

Tagging: @withmyteeth @crowfootwrites @obsessedasusual @garbinge @awildcur @the-anonymous-pen @narcolini @ashlingnarcos and anyone else who wants to do this! xo