#episode can also be called The one where theres a musical and everyone is bi

[nutterbuttersthings]

My theatre loving ass was fed well today. Alberta episodes never miss.

[cleaduvalls]

i watched all 20 episodes of "spy kids: mission critical" twice in about a week and here are my thoughts (pt 1/5)

these will be divided into 4 episodes per post so they stay about the same length as one spy kids movie

1.1

no theme song. :/

wow specific location

wow. we love lying to our spouses

greg actually kind of sounds like greg??? like ingrids not right in the slightest but greg sounds like greg

oh yeah i call him greg instead of gregorio bc thats Too Many Syllables

i dunno id rather go on an adventure

oh!!!!! ingrids hair!!!!! cute

they look like friggin iron knuckles from cadence of hyrule

how do you..... classify a move

also why would they teach agents to counter a move that they also taught the agents

dont you mean SWAT

is that tom kenny?????

thats not carmen. i dont care WHAT you say. thats not carmen

shes 14???

since when can he build???

since when do they LIVE at the oss?????

thats a ball. not a blob

oh mood

juni your voice is so squeaky

Every Villain Is Lemons

is this a separate universe????? we already know about the third brain program. and you cant claim that people havent seen the movies cuz theyre ALSO on netflix

the experiment wasnt FUTILE it actually went really well. yall are just cowards

you can destroy gold???? like its not DIAMOND

ew

did golden brain go through childhood??? or did he just.... spawn as an adult????

alliteration

take a wild guess carmen

why are you wearing jeans in the DESERT????

"sis"??? who says that

oh boy fart jokes already

little brothers, cuz youre younger, were related, and youre boys

did you mutate the agents too?????

oh i feel you juni

oh boy butt jokes

carmen youre 14. where im from you COULD have a job at certain places

is he... gonna kill them?????

oh!!!! the mimicking is back!!!

theres no way you had taco butte in the last 5 minutes

teenagers?????? the franchise is spy KIDS get it right

there SHOULD be, yall are licensed spy kids

roll credits

juni stop trying to be a lone wolf it never works youve seen all 4 spy kids

i want to be her

are you.... knighted?????? or are you just british

hes like 11 what do you expect from him

ahavschaj acemate

carmens FACE she looks HIGH

finger guns???? hes bi

THUMB THUMB!!!!!!!

TOM thumb thumb!!!!!!

F L O O P!!!!!!!!!

nvm i want to be HER

im sorry how the H*CK did you just say fegan???????????

piercings!!!!!

and i OOP-

aztec???? bc the aztec death spiral??? nice

maybe im a little biased bc floop but shes my favorite

why are the parents here

who calls it a cuddle bear?????? its a teddy bear what are yall on

oh i love carmens socks

i gotta say im living for goldies aesthetic

haha coward

to be fair hes from the outback, they have friggin emus. those things are creepy

:0 sneaky

nice timing

1.2

wow ig there really is no theme song :(

how can he sleep with a TEACUP

i think at some point youd just... fall asleep????

wow big flex

and i OOP-

scorpions so mean i love her

for like 3 seconds that animation looked like a friggin barbie movie

i thought thumb thumbs couldnt hold things???? like thats their whole point

did she hang up on them?????

when your mom said she wouldnt get mad if you tell the truth so you tell the truth and she still gets mad

K A N Y E?????????

oh no they all have died

drowning a chainsaw????????

PLENTY OF PEOPLE

my parents whenever im tired

did you not hear her name shes clearly immortal

me

stop yelling

at that point he shoudknt have even been able to drink the milk

why are the spotlights on carmen

*2 hours later*

dont put the phone on the desk????? have you not have a teacher give you detention for that????? i have

i think its pretty obvious what he was dreaming about

in the subtitles the u has the dots but hes not pronouncing it right. it should be more "keurp-ka-kay", not just "coop-ka-kay"

everyone has weird dreams????? step off ace

class lasted for 5 minutes wtf

do the three of them share a phone???? thats what it says in her contacts

ok visage thats a little too far

i hate this dude so much

visage shes allowed to be on her phone shes not in class

psi???? like earthbound????

😔

theyre not wrong

STOP YELLING

thats?? not possible?????? youre just weak

why are you saying that out loud

dude stop im dying of second hand embarrassment

wait the sign with the transcribed words doesnt have the ü. so how he pronounced it WAS right they just messed up the subtitles

i thought there was only ONE of its kind why do they EACH have one?????

why did so many people lose????? it seems pretty straightforward

also i love her ringtone

is that tom kenny again??????

thats.... not how it works

he should not have made that

so the big reveal is that it was his mom, but how does he know shes a cortez now?????? she was avellan at that point

take a wild guess

spurious??????? why are you using his first name

i dont???? think you can????????

1.3

the beats pretty good, im tapping my feet

i love his voice

thats not disco thats TECHNO

actually discos probably right. hes german and in germany clubs are called diskos. the music hes playing is pretty clubby, therefore it would be disco

she has spotify premium???? nice

ooooh scorpion has bed curtains!!!!

why do both cortezes have the floor bed???

how can juni hear aces music???? did his headphones get unplugged????? is it just super loud?????

sounds more like kids music than folk music

HOLY CRAP HES LISTENING TO THE WIGGLES (no offense to the wiggles)

yes hes a heavy sleeper we discussed this last time

he has a bazooka you might wanna run

"carmen is not here" me too carmen, me too

glitch chill

oh yay piss jokes

how does so much stuff come out on the floss

she was asleep???????? take it easy glitch

creative name

also the music sounds like it came right out of cadence of hyrule??????? which could be possible bc the girl who voices glitch also voiced link

glitch its clearly a virus

carmen you can go, psi can handle this

hes so protective of his records im dying

BAHAHA she said "worm?" and ofc my dumb ass thought she meant worm as in "oh worm?"

1.4

i had a whole bunch but tumbr decided to delete it and i dont wanna rewrite it so we missed the last 4 minutes of 1.3 and the first 8 of 1.4, sorryyy

it doesnt matter anyway no ones gonna read this

this whole point system was in the fourth movie, get some new plot points

is that really a good idea carmen???

throwback to when i was a kid and wanted to learn australian

oh no they died

JUNI NO YOU SAID IN THE THIRD MOVIE TO N E V E R SPLIT UP

sheilas a great name shut up

listen i see mirages all the time in the summer but how do you see a fake building???? its always a puddle of water

yeah the outback STEAKHOUSE

you sound like youre on crack

oh no he died

one time i ate a bug bc i thought it was some leftover dorito i had stuck in my teeth

hes pretty good at shelters, did you not see the second spy kids???

hey he calles him juni!!!

s n e a k y

what even is heat rash?????

STOP YELLING

nice STEALTH you tell him he has nice STEALTH

[diaryofakasiehousewife-blog]

The beginning

Insert 4 "So tell me, how have you been?" asked this guy who was now seated with me on my table. And just then something hit me, i know this guy (excited) This is the guy from House 22, the guy who was supposed to be my skhafthini (lunchbox) the night i broke up with Thabo. This is the meal that was taken out of my mouth by the very same Kabo i married. The very same Kabo who today is depriving me of my rightful fruits of marriage. I cant believe he looks this good, he is yummier than i had imagine. As drunk as i was that night, my eyes could pierce through his pants and could see the unseeable. I thought i was never gonna have those unseeables again. But then here they are sitting witv me tonight. So this means, my prayers for tonight are in good terms. "Ive been good, thanks for asking, yourself?" "Ah you know man, God has been great." "Can i join you?" He continued "Sure, no problem." "I hope tonight you are really alone, i really dont wanna cause any problems for you again." "No, you can relax, im here alone." I replied "So tell me, what really happened to you that night? Who was that guy? Your hosband? ( hosband as pronounced by him, its not a spelling mistake, you know them race and their accent mos. So when ever he appears in my episodes and you see some kinda spelling mistake, just note that its probably him talking lol😂) "He was not my husband, he just took me home." "Ok, i was really worried about you." "How long has it been thou, 5 years? 6 years?" He continued asking. "Ya most probably, 5 to 6 years or more." "But you havent changed a bit, that is why i noticed you so easily." Like duh! Who is he trying to fool? I havent changed a bit in 8 years? Men will say anything just to get under your pants. "Thanks." I said as a gave him a grin. "My name is Wilson, by the way." "Nice to know you Wilson, im Tumi." So Wilson sat with me through the evening. We ordered some food and drinks, then some more food and even more drinks. We clicked i must add. He had a great sense of humor and he seemed to managed to cheer my sour heart. I even forgot where i came from, who i left behind and what i had to go back home to. He just made me melt. For the first time in years i laughed this loud. I was just in another world. I realised how miserable ive been and how much i missed out on life. This moment with Wilson, made me regret even more why i married Kabo in the first time. The nights i have wasted waiting for him to come home, only for him to come home after midnight drunk and snoring. The cold evenings i had to endure longing for someone to cuddle me and share dinner with me. The nights i have waisted in that house trying to potray a good wife imagine to his family and the neighbors, not going going put with my friends anymore. Not to mention the friends i had to cut off because according to him they werent suitable or healthy for our marriage. All this made me wanna puke. I wished there was an online application for divorce, i could just file for it right there and there. But bad news is i couldnt, no matter how good this "Wilson" moment felt, it is going to end soon and im gonna have to go back to him. I couldnt even let my mind think of divorce for another second, cause he would leave me as poor as a dog. I bet he would even take underwears. Wilson and i had a lot in common, we did the same subjects in high school, listened to same music, he also loved books and turns out he studied Law like i did. Well maybe not exactly like i did, atleast yena he graduated lol. But then let me not get way ahead of myself, we are just flirting, this is nothing serious. So just chill Tumi chill. It was just after 23:00 when we walked out of Newscafè. We thought that well maybe we should take our lil party somewhere private. We had everything worked out and planned and all excited. That we leave my car here, we take his car, we go to his apartment, we have fun, he drives me back, get my car and then i drive back home. Perfect plan hey? Mxm...i wish it was the perfect plan. It has to be the perfect plan. I have been dickless for weeks now, i need some kind of penetration therapy. So tonight is the night, im going all out and nothing is going to stop me. "Tumi." I heard someone calling out my name as we were about to approach Wilson's car. And it was definetely a man's voice but it wasnt Kabo's. "O ya kae?"(where are you going) that person asked Goodness dammit. Its Sebalo, Kabo's older brother. The hottest brother inlaw ever has spotted me "Oh, Sebalo, i was just..." "I know what you were about to do, come im taking you home." He interrupted me before i could finish my sentence . "No, what you mean you taking me home, im OK," "Tumi please lets not do this the hard way, theres no way im leaving you with this lekwerekwere (foreigner)." Hey dont ever call a foreigner by that name, you shall die my friend lol "Hey hey hey my brotha, you don't know me and I don't know you, you dont get to call me names, listen to me..." Wilson lashed at Sebalo ka deep anger pointing him with his car keys "Ok ok guys, please stop." "Sebalo its fine you can take me home, Wilson ill call you tomorrow." Me trying to calm the situation down. "No, dont call. Dont fucken call me. You are so much trouble. What kind of a woman are you?" Wilson shouted "Everywhere i see you, theres some guy coming out of nowhere to take you home. I should have let you pay for your bill bi#ch." He added as he walked into his big machine car and driving away. Wheeew...now there i was in this parking lot. Everyone is staring at us. Worse part im in this situation with my brother inlaw. How do i explain this to him? What if he tells Kabo? But i know Sebalo is a very decent guy, i bet he wouldnt. I hope he doesnt. So we walked quietly towards his car which was now parked next to mine. "Tsena ka mo koloing."(get inside the car) he said "And then ya me yona?"( and what about my car?) I asked him "O sa wara i ll leave your car keys with my friend, he will follow us with it." He said as he walked back towards Newscafè and handing over the keys to someone who already was waiting for him outside. What was supposed to be a 20 minute drive seemed like a 4 hour drive to Limpopo. We were quite all through until we got to my house. It was just after midnight and his lil brother was not home "E ban, o kae Kabo?" (Where is Kabo) He asked as we entered the house. "I dont know." I answerd him throwing myself on the couch and attempting to take off my shoes. "Oh i see, no wonder o le busy le makwerekwere a ko Karenpark." "Mxm, that is just a friend." "When does your friend arrive, i thought he was behind us?" "No o sa wara ka oo( dont worry about that one) i told him ill call and tell him to come when we are done." "Done what? Aker you dropped me off, im safe inside the house. Call him now." He just laughed at me and started walking slowly towards me. What the f#ck is this now. "You thought i would just let you off the hook that easily? Well you thought wrong." "What do you mean?" I asked in shock "Its a beautiful dress you wearing by the way, i like how it shapes your ass. My brother sure does have great take." He added his nonsense, now close enough that our bodies we touch now. I was in shock. This cant be Sebalo talking, he must be high of some drug or something. Kana Sebalo is the most loyal, respectful guy i ever met. He wouldnt even look at other women. He was committed to his wife and kids. He was the perfect example of a husband and how married men should behave. Well perfect example se foot! Why is he not home with his wife now? I just laughed and tried walking passed him. What shocks me is that he wasnt even drunk, well atleast he didnt look drunk or smell any alcohol on him. Just then he grabbed both ass and pulled me towards him. Close enough to feel is hard erection. Shit! This guy is serious. He then leaned over and whispered in my ear. "This is simple Tumi, we go to the bedroom! I help you get out of that sexy dress you wearing. I take off ur bra and painties if you wearing any. Then i lick your tits and... "Sebalo please stop." I interrupted him Truly speaking, i was wetting my thong already. With his erection hard on top of my punani. I was already drooling But i knew i couldnt i had to pull myself together and get him away from me, I'll scream if I have to. This is my brother inlaw. "Shhhh as i was saying, ok never mind what i was saying, or we can do it right here on the cough if you like?" Mxm bloody pervet. "We do this and you and i both forget about lekwerekwere la ko Karenpark, your secret stays safe with me." He started kissing my neck, grabbing my ass even tighter... Is this gonna happen? Is my brother inlaw blackmailing me? *****************