#ep: lightning in a bottle

[liyazaki]

I don't think you're watching it, but Venus in the Sky is the first Thai BL to be sponsored by 7-11 and it made me think of you! If the TV show is representative of reality, I finally understand what you meant about 7-11 during your Thailand trip, LOL. (While the 7-11 sponsorship looks cool, the first episode was not very engaging to me so I don't know if I'll stick with it.)

I'm gonna watch the HELL out of this if for no other reason than my borderline irrational passion for Thai 7-11's- THANK YOU!!

[dreamerdagn]

breaking news using an ai to write their episode is the most "straddling the line between chaotic good and chaotic neutral" thing I've ever seen

[florencepout]

anyway I'm rewatching teen wolf cus I'm annoyingly excited about the film and I'm gonna be live logging it cus someone needs to witness just how utterly dissapointing I find the later seasons lmao

[ohraicodoll]

DESPERATELY NEED FERAL READER WITH EP 8 WITH AN INJURED JOEL AND KIDNAPPED ELLIE…….. I KNOW OUR CRAZY QUEEN WOULD KILL EVERYONE ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Yall asked for it lol

Violent Delights Joel Miller x f!Reader The Last of Us 6.7k Words/ 3rd POV Feral Reader Masterlist Summary: They took her kid and she was getting her back. Warning: Graphic depictions of violence and torture

She woke up with a start, having drifted off unknowingly after trying to keep watch, a sense of disorientation as she tried to figure out where she was and what was happening. The basement. They were still in the basement, the cold leeching any warmth from the walls and floors, the haggard breathing of her companion her only company. It’d been over 48 hours since she last slept, since Joel was hurt and they’d had to drag him into the house and patch him up. He wasn’t in good shape. Joel was so close to death’s door, it terrified her. They were so close to losing him and she had never felt more helpless.

She could still hear his pained groans, the glazed and blank look in his eyes, as she put pressure on the bleeding hole in his stomach just a couple days before. “Don’t you dare die, Joel. You still have to make shit up to me and you can’t do that dead. You can’t leave us again.” He’d tried to tell them to leave him. To go back to Tommy’s and leave him behind, the stubborn asshole. But Ellie managed to find the first aid kit and they’d sewn up the hole, wrapping it best they could with the little supplies they had. She knew it wasn’t enough. There could be shards left from the baseball bat, they weren’t the cleanest, nothing was sterile. She didn’t even know if something internal had been damaged. But it was all they could do. They’d been so focused on getting to Colorado they’d been using their food storage rather than hunting over the past week. Now it was biting them in the ass, their supplies dwindled. She’d managed to briefly go out and hunt down a rabbit, but game seemed scarce and leaving meant leaving Ellie and Joel alone. Without Joel, it was hard to sleep, look after Ellie, look after him and keep him stable, look after the fucking horses, and hunt. She was overwhelmed. So sleep went out the window. She took watch when Ellie was asleep, went and tried to hunt and scavenge the nearby houses when she was awake, and kept an eye on Joel in between taking care of the two horses in the garage. But at some point she’d fallen asleep finally, fallen deep and hard enough that she hadn’t noticed Ellie slipping the rifle from her hands and leaving the two adults alone.  A small scribbled note was placed on her lap on a piece of what looked like newspaper, “Be back soon -E.” She scrambled to her feet, looking around and cursed herself. Joel was still breathing steadily but his brow was covered with sweat from the infection he was staving off. Both their packs were against the wall but Ellie’s was gone and the panic that took hold was like a lightning bolt. It stole the breath from her lungs. Ellie was gone, Ellie was gone, Ellie was gone- it was a racing thought that circulated over and over again. Her main purpose, main job, and she’d fucking fallen asleep.

Her heart jumped further at hearing footsteps above her head, the slight creak and shift in the old wood, a door slamming…then it all came out in deep relief as she recognized the light shuffling.

Ellie raced down the steps, cheeks pink from cold and wind, and breath huffing out in a rush as she entered the basement.

She grabbed the girl immediately, shaking her by the shoulders with the vestiges of panic still in her blood, “Where did you go, Ellie? You weren’t supposed to leave!”

The teenager paused, eyes frantic and a little wild, but a tough set to her lips as she shook her head, “I went hunting and you needed sleep! I had to, but look! I got Joel medicine!” Ellie took the bottles out of their wrap, quickly moving away from her and kneeling down to Joel, beginning to lift up his shirt before she could even get a good look at what she had. The wound was ugly and discolored and she could hear him groan at the small touches. Her mind was still caught up in the panic of discovering the girl was gone and she quickly snatched the bottles away before the syringe was inserted. “Where did you get this?” she asked, turning it over in her hands. Penicillin. Two whole bottles of penicillin, practically liquid gold in their world, and Ellie had managed to get it while she slept. The teen looked nervous and tried to snatch it back, but she was quick even if she was exhausted and pulled her hand away, “Please, can we give it to him first and then I’ll explain?” Her eyes were so big for her face, cheeks pink. Her desperation to help Joel was evident. Ellie knew how bad he was doing and believed she held the cure to it all in her hands. She could only sigh and hand it back over, instructing her to give just a fourth of the bottle and to tap the syringe. Joel would probably have a heart attack if he knew she was letting the kid give it to him, but she knew Ellie had to do this herself. It was her win and she had to feel like she was the one saving him so she let her. But then they both stared, her knowledge only getting them that far. “Where the fuck am I suppose to put this?” Ellie cursed, looking at the wound and Joel’s arm, eyes switching between hers and his closed ones, “Fuck, how are we supposed to do this?” She cursed herself. Her medical knowledge was mediocre. Stitching, cleaning wounds, pulling out bullets, the basics they needed. Infections and medicine she had no clue about, “Just give it to him in his stomach. As long as it enters his blood stream, it should be fine.” At least, that’s what she thought. Ellie winced and inserted the needle, Joel giving out pained groans as it sunk into the sensitive area. They both watched the plunger empty the contents and then she pulled it out, trying to clean the needle the best she could. They only had one syringe and would have to reuse it. “And now we wait,” the teen commented and looked at his face as if at any second he would be magically better. He would wake up and smile and tell her good job. But he didn’t, staying silent on the small makeshift bed. “No, now you tell me where you went and how you got that,” she bit out, sitting on the other side of Joel to face her. Ellie winced and looked down at the small glass bottles in her hand, “You needed to sleep and we needed food. I know you think you can take care of all of us, but you can’t and I wanted to help by trying to hunt.” “That’s not your responsibility-” “It doesn’t matter. I wanted to help,” Ellie cut her off but then sighed, “And I did manage to actually get a deer…but I ran into these guys...” Instantly, she was on high alert, eyes searching everything that was visible and checking her for any wounds, “You ran into people and you’re barely telling me!” “I know!” the young girl argued back, hand resting on top of Joel’s, “They found my deer before me and said they were from a group with starving women and children. They offered to trade for half the deer and said they had medicine. I did everything I was supposed to! Got them to drop their guns, unloaded their rifles, and had them back away. One went to get the medicine and I kept the gun on the other.”

“So you gave them half the deer and they gave you the medicine then just let you go?” she asked and clenched and unclenched her fists. Ellie wouldn’t look so nervous if  that was the whole story and she wasn’t nearly tired enough to have been dragging half a deer carcass back. Shrugging, Ellie grimaced and refused to meet her eyes, “That was the deal…but they knew who we were. The people that attacked us at the university belonged to their group and this guy started talking about how one of theirs had been killed by a crazy man with two girls. He knows that was Joel. I don’t know why he let me go, but I think they’re looking for us.” With a curse, she quickly stood, hands on her hips and pacing in a tight circle, “Fuck. Fuck. And they didn’t come after you?”

“No, I think they let me go because I was a kid.” She doubted that. People rarely were that charitable, even to children in this world. Especially a child with a gun and an attitude like Ellie’s. The unspoken words were there though. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t come for her and Joel though. Ellie may be deemed innocent but the two of them were problems and only one of them was in commission currently. But what could they do? They couldn’t move Joel in his state. They couldn’t leave him behind either. They were stuck. “Okay. Maybe if they let you go they don’t plan on coming. Maybe they think both of us are injured if you were out on your own and won’t come,” she lied comfortingly and tried to speak the words into existence, knowing the kid was probably feeling guilty and needed some hope. They needed rest, needed to breathe for a second, and panicking now wouldn’t help.  It took a while to relax enough to let the adrenaline fade away.

Ellie laid down, exhausted, tucking into Joel’s side as she had the past couple nights and resting her head on his shoulder. He subconsciously leaned into her, still alive for now. Her heart ached at the sight, the way they held each other in their own ways. She didn’t have the strength to get after the girl more or uproot them out of precaution. They were all exhausted and Ellie had somehow managed to bring hope even if there was a cost.

She sat down by the stairs, flipped her knife between her fingers to keep her awake and focused, and watched the two sleep with her heart in her throat.

The men would come. Now that they knew they were in the area, they would come and they were stuck in this spot until Joel was better. There was no way they could get him on a horse and move him now without undoing all the healing he’d done. A thousand scenarios went through her head, sleep now a distant memory in the face of the panic and anxiety plaguing her. How was she supposed to fight off a group and keep them both safe?

She couldn’t. That was the reality of the situation.

The thought hit her over and over again like a blow to the chest, the knife turning between her fingers. _________________________________________ Morning came and she could see Ellie’s disappointment that the medicine hadn’t instantly woken Joel up and made him all better. To ease her mind, they gave him another dose, trying to make the bottles last before shoving the remainder in their bags. They were out of food, the rabbit she had caught two days ago long gone without a way to store it. Joel still wasn’t eating or drinking and she worried that even if they got the infection under control, his body wouldn’t be strong enough to get better. Things were bad. The possibility of Joel dying was a constant chime in her head. It felt like a mockery that he had left and came back only to be almost taken from them permanently. She was angry. He wasn’t supposed to be the one that took the hit. It had been meant for her but he’d pushed her out the way as the bat swung, breaking on the tree, and then tackled the guy. If it had been her, Joel would know what to do. He could take care of them both or at least would have the strength to leave her behind if necessary. She wasn’t sure she could. She was failing him. Failing them both. The basement was suffocating, pressing in on her, and she took the opportunity to go tend to the horses, leaving the girl and her unconscious companion to the pressing weight of disappointment. Her body was beginning to ache from the lack of sleep and food, joints protesting her movement, but she reached down and scooped snow into the small metal bucket for them to get some water. Soon the horses would starve too or be too weak to carry them. Death was creeping up on them. Looking over the neighborhood they were held up in, she sighed at the obvious foot steps leading up through the streets before beginning to methodically cover what she could. Ellie knew better than to leave a trail but she guessed in her hurry to get the medicine back to Joel and get away from the men she had forgotten. And as birds took off in a rush further down the road towards the wooded outskirts, she froze and her heart thundered in her ears. 

She felt fear run through her as her thoughts from the night resurfaced and became reality, a living nightmare. They were coming. They had waited for daylight to search them out and were coming now. She knew it, could feel it, and they were out of time. Quickly covering what she could and making false tracks from the other houses, she ran back inside and flew down the stairs to the basement taking two at a time. No time, there was no time.  Ellie startled at her rushed appearance and the way she flew across the room to the rifle and her own pack, “What’s happening?”

“Those men you saw are coming,” she huffed out, grabbing the rifle and checking it was loaded before looking around the room as if she could find the answer there.

Turning to Joel, Ellie began to shake his shoulders as if he were merely sleeping and not borderline in a coma, “Fuck. Joel! You have to wake up, Joel. Joel, wake up! Wake the fuck up, Joel!” But he only gasped, pained whimpers leaving his lips, eyelids fluttering.

She bent down and grabbed Ellie by the shoulders, forcing her to look into her eyes, “Ellie, I need you to listen to me. I need you to take the horse and run.”

“What? No, what about-”

“You run and I’ll follow behind and try to pick them off,” she interrupted, voice adamant, “They’re going to search every house and they will find us eventually. I can’t hold them off like this. I need to know you’re good first and if we’re away from here then it will take the focus off Joel.”

“You want me to go without you?” Ellie’s eyes were wide with fear and her heart ached at the sight, but there was no time.

“I’ll find you,” she promised and dug her fingers tightly into her shoulders as if she could sink the words into her skin, “I will. But you have to go now. We’ll block the entrance to down here, give Joel some time.”

Ellie pressed her lips together and nodded, running to grab her backpack and last minute grabbed one of the larger knives they had. Running back over to Joel, the teen knelt down and placed it on his chest, forcing his hand to grab it. She let her while grabbing the rest of her stuff and placed Joel’s pack into a small cubby under the steps to make it less noticeable.

“Okay, look at me,” Ellie whispered to him while he only groaned in reply, “There are men coming, okay? I’m gonna lead them away from you, Red is going to help get rid of them. But if anybody makes it down here, you fucking kill them. You got it?”

“Ellie, hurry,” she bit out, peeking out the small window along the top of the wall. “Joel, do not fall asleep,” the teenager pleaded desperately, squeezing his hand around the knife. She could see his eyes partially open, see his lips trying to move and his fingers twitching trying to grasp the knife. But Ellie finally got up quickly and rushed up the stairs. She went to follow after her and paused, staring back at the unconscious man on the floor. A part of her whispered that this could be the last time she saw him alive. One or both of them could be dead if this didn’t go right. Heart in her throat, she ran back to him and kneeled, kissing his forehead and grasping his hand. “Stay alive for us, please, Joel,” she whispered, squeezing the hand around the knife, but getting back up and running up the stairs. She tried not to look back. Both of them moved the tall kitchen cabinet over the door entryway to the basement, trying to shuffle things around to not make the spot obvious before heading to the garage. They got both horses out, grabbing what she needed from hers and sending silent apologies to Tommy before forcing it to gallop away in the opposite direction with a sharp smack. The other she saved for Ellie to ride, closing the garage door behind them. They’d figure out transportation later when they were out of this mess, but they needed the guys off their trail and two different horse tracks would help. With quick hands, she helped Ellie climb up onto its back. 

Shakily, she bit out, “You ride hard and fast and loud. They’re going to come after you but if you go fast they won’t catch you and I’ll hit them from behind. They only know for sure about you right now. Do not look back, Ellie. I’ll find you once it’s safe, I promise.” Ellie was shaking but tried to put on a brave face, nodding and holding onto the reins. She wanted to hug the girl, tell her it was going to be okay, but she wouldn’t lie to her. Not now. The men were close, she knew that. She patted the rear of the horse and nodded a final goodbye, beckoning her to go forward. Her heart screamed to not let her go, that it was safer with her than alone, but they were backed into a corner and she had no choice. They wouldn’t win in a shootout and losing meant Ellie would die. So she watched as the girl rode away down the street away from her, turning until she was completely out of sight, and tried not to flinch at the gunshots that came soon after and the yells of men. She tried to shut off the part of her that wanted to panic, to react and worry. That wasn’t the part she needed to listen to at the moment. Running as far as she could, crossing over fences and staying against the walls of the house, she followed the sound of loud hoof beats and chased after them as they chased after Ellie. Her ears caught on one of them screaming that she was to be left alive, but that didn’t ease the worry in her. Being captured alive wasn’t always a good thing. One of the slower men chasing Ellie fell the furthest behind, wheezing in the cold and trying to clamber in the dense snow. Her own knife in hand, she ran and jumped onto his back, using both their weight to send them forward onto his front behind the cover of some of the shrubs. 

He hadn’t been expecting to be attacked from behind and it took him a moment to try and struggle, to lift his face out of the snow to breathe, and she took advantage of that by stabbing deep into the back of his neck. He groaned, the sound muffled, and she pulled the blade out and sunk it in again and again with a growl. The snow was staining red around them. He stopped moving. One down. She stood and took off, the cold biting into her lungs and stealing her breath. The terrain was hard and the one kill had put her farther behind the group, forcing her to cut across more backyards to catch up, but she could only hope Ellie had done what she asked and was out of range. She could catch the rest of them once they scattered. But then a gunshot rang out close by. The sound of a horse’s cry ripped through her, tore her soul to shreds, and she knew if she lived beyond the day she would hear that sound forever in her nightmares.

She ran. She left all care of stealth behind and ran fast and hard, dodging trees and fallen branches and then ran faster when another gun shot rang out. The chest felt like it was being cleaved open by the panic, fear gripping her tightly. They wouldn’t have shot her. They wouldn’t have killed her. She was a kid, they wouldn’t-

And then she watched from the trees as the group surrounded Ellie who was on the ground, her horse unmoving not far away, and a tall skinny man picked her up and began to walk away with her. She raised the rifle, looking down the scope, and cursed as the men separated and began to head back into the neighborhood. No doubt to continue their search for Joel and her.

She could see Ellie’s face through the scope, the loll of her head, but she was gripped too closely to the man’s body. He was walking further and further away. Two sides of her screamed. Leaving to go after them meant abandoning Joel, but staying behind meant leaving Ellie. She wanted to press the trigger, shoot, but knew it was too risky with Ellie in the man’s arms. She could so easily accidentally kill the girl if she was one inch off and her hands were too shaky from exhaustion to be precise. Only some of the group was going back, the others looking like they were continuing to scout the area.

She knew what she had to do, what Joel would tell her to do, but the reality of it felt impossible. If they found Joel, he’d die for sure. But she wasn’t sure she could live with leaving Ellie.

The men with the girl were getting farther away and a choice had to be made.

So she swallowed the sob in her throat and let the rage she felt consume her completely, push her forward, and followed behind the group to where they would take her kid.  __________________________ It was getting harder and harder to follow along as the wind began to kick up a notch. She needed to see where they were taking Ellie, but she was tired and the cold was sinking in, her body struggling to keep going. And as they entered the town, it was getting difficult to avoid being seen. Too many buildings, too many open areas, and she didn’t know who could be watching. She knew they had entered one of the nearby buildings, but wasn’t sure which. The clock was ticking in her mind, Ellie’s life on one hand and Joel’s on the other. What good was she if she couldn’t save her people? Blood crusted on her fingers as she entered the first of the buildings quietly, finding a back entrance. It was dark but she could hear voices nearby as she found herself in some kind of storage room, the cold still reaching her through the walls. She wasn’t used to carrying the rifle. It had always been Joel’s weapon thanks to its weight, her preferring knives or a small pistol or even a bow when she could find one. So when she crouched down to ease her way over to the swinging door leading further inside, she winced when it thudded and scraped against the floor, the sound so loud in her ears. The voices paused and she froze, eyes wide and watching the door. There was shuffling and she quickly backed away into a darkened corner, pulling her knife out. Steps came closer and she held her breath, trying to calm her racing heart. The door swung open and she could see a man enter, beard a little rough and looking a little ragged, cheeks red from the cold. He frowned, looking around, gaze shifting over what he could. He turned to look at the back door, back facing her, and only then did she realize she had tracked snow inside and it hadn’t quite melted. Lunging, she stuck the blade deep into his lower back with all her might and threw her arm around his neck, choking him hard. A cry of pain tried to leave his lips, breath cut off, and he struggled wildly. She twisted the knife, feeling blood coat her hand. “Where is the girl?” she hissed, jerking the blade deeper. He sobbed and made pathetic mewling sounds of pain, voice wispy from lack of air, “Please, I don’t know-” She twisted, hearing the squelch of flesh tearing, “The teenage girl your buddy grabbed, where is she?” The distinct smell of piss lingered in the air and he sobbed out, “I don’t know! Oh god.” Steps were coming close again and she growled, keeping her grip on the knife buried in his body and shifting her arm away from his neck to hold the back of his collar. He wheezed in air, blood starting to bubble from his lips. The door burst open and the distinct sound of a gun rising echoed in the tiny room, only to pause as she held the man in front of her like a shield, mostly hidden by his body. “Howard-” A woman’s voice. All the people who had attacked them had been men. 

She wouldn’t have the information she needed. With a growl of frustration, she shoved the body at her, letting his dead weight hit her and trap the woman against the wall. She let out a startled cry and the delay gave her just enough time to unholster her pistol and shoot her in the head. The numbness that was a twin to her rage had sunk into her skin, blanketing her all over. She’d search the buildings, one by one, and kill whoever she had to to find her kid. She didn’t care. Stepping over the bodies, she moved into the area they had been in before she drew their attention and paused, icy horror filling her. A leg was in the process of being cut apart, small chunks set aside and being wrapped up as if to store for later. It was a kitchen, most likely used to prepare food for stage, large makeshift smokers and pits along the back unused. The ticking clock in her mind sped up as the reality of what she’d uncovered hit her. Cannibals. These people that had taken Ellie were cannibals. A strong hit to her back sent her stumbling forward and clattering to her knees. She grunted and scrambled forward as a stomp missed her, hitting the ground instead. There’d been someone still in the room and she’d been too distracted to notice. 

Rolling onto her back, gun still in her hand, she aimed and managed to shoot the knee out of her assailant as he raised a butcher knife. He crumpled to the ground with a cry and she got to her feet slowly, gun raised and trained on him. 

The guy was younger, but thin and haggard looking. His bravado hadn’t fully left him though as he stared her down, anger in his eyes, “You fucking bitch. You blew out my fucking knee.” He tried to get up but she aimed at his head, making him freeze. “I’ll shoot the other one too if you don’t shut up and tell me where the girl you kidnapped is,” she snarled, adrenaline helping to keep the firearm steady on him. His nose wrinkled and he spit at her, brow furrowed.

Stubborn. Younger guys were so stubborn.

She pulled the trigger and watched his other knee explode as the bullet met his target. The man screamed and she quickly knelt down, shoving her hand over his mouth and placing the still warm barrel against his forehead. Tears leaked out his eyes, making little dirt tracks through the grime on his skin.

“Where the fuck is she?” she screamed into his face and the sound was almost inhuman, gravel and fury warping it almost into a howl.

But he only shook his head, eyes defiant. Frustrated, she stood, looking at the meat cleaver in his hand and the human leg on the table. She didn’t have time for this. Ellie was out there and the situation was worse than she thought. Not even meeting his eyes, she raised the gun and shot him in the head. He wasn’t going to give her any information.

She raced back outside through the back door she had entered, heart in her throat and a panicked scream wanting to leave her lips.

The storm was picking up as an idea hit her. If she searched each building, there was no guarantee she’d find someone with information in time. She had to draw their attention. Maybe lure them out. They had wanted Ellie alive for the moment. If she could distract them, it may buy her time.

Chewing her lip, she kneeled behind the building and swung her pack around to dig through it. Her hand wrapped around a small glass bottle that had been carefully secured in the middle of her clothes and yanked it out along with one of her old shirts. They’d been saving it for emergencies, using it to sterilize what they could, but she needed it for something else now. Her face stung from the cold wind and her hands shook, but she managed to tear cloth and shove it into the liquor bottle, saturating the fabric, before she put her pack back on and stood.

Time to make a big fucking distraction.

Blocking the wind with her hands, she lit a match and watched as the tip of the cloth burned bright with flames.

With a snarl, she tossed the molotov through the window of the next building, ducking down and watching as the flames exploded inside. Screams and shouts followed, telling her there had been people inside, and she waited for more voices to join them. Someone would investigate or come outside.

Like clockwork, a man rushed out into the cold and she gripped her bloody knife at the familiar face. One of the men that had come back with Ellie. He cursed and ran through the snow, yelling that he was going to grab the fire extinguisher next door while the others scrambled to put the flames out. She followed, quiet, lava flowing through her and teeth bared. She couldn’t even feel the cold anymore. 

The wind blocked any sound she made as she rushed after him into the alley and lunged, shoving him into the cold brick wall with a loud crack. She growled and grabbed his hair, gripping it tightly and smashing it into the bricks once then twice. He tried to push away and turn, but she kneed him hard in the spine, driving him to his knees. “Where is the girl?” she snarled into his ear, knife to his throat. Blood poured down an open wound on his forehead, one eye blinded by red, as he finally took in who had grabbed him, “fuck you,” “Wrong answer,” she yanked his hair and slammed it into the wall again. When he went to raise his hand to fight her, she stabbed the blade through his hand and into the ground. His screams were carried away by the wind and snow, the shouts of his group telling her they were still distracted by the fire. “The girl your group grabbed,” the words were all razors and broken glass, almost the sound of an animal snarl, “Where did you take her?” He sneered at her, trying to put on a strong front through the pain, “That bitch is probably soup by now.” She stepped on the knife, the blade so far in his hand the hilt was pressing against the back, “I can make this last a fucking lifetime. Your choice. Where-” “Please, don’t-” Frustrated, she ripped the knife out and placed the tip just inside his mouth, “Last chance. Where is she?” The tip clinked against his teeth and he hung his mouth open to avoid being cut, his beard a mess of blood and spit and green eyes wide with fear finally. She tried not to feel satisfaction as seeing that, understanding setting in for him. He lifted his bloody hand and tried to point across the street, stuttering out, “Steakhouse. The fucking steakhouse. David has her in there.” She looked at him, eye swollen, and blood coating the front of his face, clearly terrified.

Slowly, she took the blade away, watching his lips wobble with sobs and slight relief. Then she slit his throat, continuing to move behind the buildings even as his blood sprayed out and soaked her clothes and his pleas gurgled and quieted.

The steakhouse was a few more buildings down across the street, “Todd’s Steakhouse” still written on the sign out front. The storm was a blizzard now, sharp stinging snow hitting her skin and turning the blood on her into patches of ice. There were yells, panicked screams, and she wondered if they had found the bodies. If they had found the blood and chaos she had left in her wake.

But with a destination in sight, she had let her guard down and she cursed herself later on for it. Arms wrapped around her torso, crushing the rifle into her back, and she kicked at the air as she was dragged back against a brick wall.

“You fucking bitch!” Screamed into her ear and she was tossed to the ground, teeth clattering from the impact.

A kick landed in her stomach and she grunted, the air leaving her lungs, but she had enough sense to grab onto the leg and cling to it. The move caught the man off balance and he tripped, falling to the ground next to her. Her blade was somewhere in the snow and she struggled to dig around for it, sharp steel nicking her fingers as she found it only to be thrown onto her back.

The man climbed on top of her, straddling her waist, his weight so heavy and her pack on her back making the move crushing. She grit her teeth and bucked, thrashing to try and get him off of her. But he only grinned, pulling back and decking her in the face. Stars lit up behind her eyes, a high pitch ringing all she could hear as pain exploded through her head.

He pulled back to punch again and her fingers found the cold metal in the snow. She wrapped her hand around it, feeling the sharp steel cut into her palm as she grabbed it by the blade instead of the hilt, and stabbed it into his lower throat. She didn’t stop, only switching to pull it out by its handle this time, and stabbed again and again, blood reigning down onto her.

With a howl, she shoved him off of her and sent a final stab into his face, snow soaking into her and pain a radiating heat. Everything hurt and it was an effort to get up and roll onto her side, staring at the decimated body next to her. 

She spit blood on him and stood. There was smoke coming from all around her, the fire having caught from the molotov and moving on building to building. Across the way, smoke could be seen from the steakhouse and she swallowed her pain, letting adrenaline carry her to the front doors. Her hands shook as she tried the handles, pulling again and again but they stayed locked and shut. Growling, she threw her shoulder into it. She was so close. She had found the place and was so close and a locked fucking door was all that was keeping her away. Her breathing was quick and frantic as she looked over the front and tried to reason that there had to be a back door or an employee entrance. Her hands skimmed the wall to try and keep upright, knowing soon the exhaustion and pain would take over, but she tried to push it back. Ellie had to be close. She needed to keep going a little bit further and then she’d get her kid and they’d go get Joel. 

Her steps stumbled and she pushed off the wall, screaming at herself to stay steady. There, she could see the back door. Plain and wooden, easy enough to shoot the lock off and get inside. With shaky fingers, she unhooked the rifle from her shoulder, the weight of it almost unbearable, and took two shots to get the lock blown off. Her legs were shaky as she climbed the few steps and opened the door, smoke pouring out. She coughed and tried to wave it away, stepping inside and feeling the heat. She had taken only a few steps into the building and stopped, hearing a familiar voice. “Red?” Relief flooded her, eyes instantly filling with tears, as Ellie emerged from the smoke not too far in front of her. Ellie was there, hair a mess and half tumbling out of her ponytail, blood splattered and smeared all over her face and clothes. It took her a while to realize she was standing there, actually standing there, watching as the girl stumbled forward and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. 

Smoke and fire was all around them, but she couldn’t care because she had Ellie and they were both alive and safe now. With shaky hands, she managed to direct them back out of the building and into the cold, fresh air. Her promise rang in her ears and she whispered them out loud as she clung to the girl, “I found you. I found you. I’ll always find you.” And she had, but not quick enough. She knew that something awful had happened, that Ellie was now one step closer to being what her and Joel were. The tough exterior had crumbled away and all that was left was a shocked girl who’d had a piece of her soul cleaved away. Her nose was busted and she knew that look in her eyes, the horror and pain at doing something ugly but necessary. Ellie’s lips were shaking as she looked her over and she was so focused on the girl she almost didn’t see Joel coming around the corner. Joel, standing and whole and alive, coming towards them like Ellie was a gravity well pulling both of them towards her. His eyes met hers and the relief was bright, even if she was dripping in blood. But Ellie hadn’t noticed the shift in attention, hadn’t heard his steps, and when he went to grab her she bucked and thrashed in his arms in sheer desperation. So much like her, a wild animal fighting not to be caged. Her heart tore apart, shredded to pieces, at the painful screams then broken sobs as she realized who was holding on to her. 

Joel only kept whispering, “It’s me, it’s me, I’m here.” “He- I-” she stuttered, eyes glazed and searching both of theirs. Joel held on with all his might, trying to ease her, gentle words soothing. And the girl crumbled, falling into his arms and clinging to him tightly as much as he was clinging to her. His eyes met hers and she let the exhaustion hit her and carry her towards them, falling to her knees and wrapping her arms around them both. All three of them, blood soaked, finally home with each other.

______________ Feral Reader Taglist: @alouise20 @faceache111

[bareums]

The Glory || Ep 7 - for @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Favorite Kiss Game

I was tagged by @lurkingshan and @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle

Grrr, this is SO hard.

I know what will happen if I put a certain shows kiss on my favorites list, so I'm going to cut out a couple of my absolute favorites and focus on the following:

Propoganda

Mew, Neo, and Shin- 3 Will Be Free, Ep 6

gif by @sunsongsa

I enjoyed this kiss as a tension breaker for a few reasons: 1) because it marked the actual confirmation of a polyamorus relationship in a GMMTV show, 2) because we have spent so much time in this show with these characters running for their lives and getting traumatized every other day and it is a lovely moment of broken tension from the fear they have been feeling, 3) because it breaks the tension Shin carries around his feelings for Neo and the tension that was built from Shin disappearing from Neo and Mew when he ran away after seeing them kiss.

Achi and Karan- Cherry Magic: Thailand, Ep

The tension that broke for me in watching this kiss was 1000% about breaking the tension that Cherry Magic: Japan had built up by never letting Adachi and Kurosawa kiss in the original television show. Achi fully running up to Karan and kissing him, and them having a real, long, active, and enthusiastic kiss was a huge sigh of relief that Thailand was going to treat us right. Also, Karan crying? Killed me.

Cai and Gav- Gameboys, Ep 10

gif by @save-the-data

OKAY LISTEN. I DO NOT CARE THAT THEY ARE KISSING THROUGH PLASTIC. THESE TWO HAVE BEEN INTERACTING EXCLUSIVELY THROUGH FACETIME SCREENS FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES AND IT IS SO VITALLY IMPORTANT FOR THEM TO FINALLY BE ABLE TO HUG EACH OTHER, EVEN IF THERE IS STILL A BARRIER BETWEEN THEM. THIS KISS BROKE ALL THE TENSION OF THEM HAVING NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO SEE EACHOTHER FACE TO FACE THIS WAY. SO MANY THINGS HAD TO HAPPEN FOR THEM TO MAKE IT TO THIS POINT AND IT MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO GET THERE

Yuan and Qian- Unknown, Ep 6

Is Qian a willing participant in this kiss? No. But do I love it anyway? Yes. Why? Because it completely changes the nature of their relationship. It force Qian to wake up to Yuan's feelings, it is the culmination of Yuan no longer being able to hold back on his feelings for Qian despite trying for years and years and years to prevent this very scenario. This scene broke me, I'm obsessed with it, and all the air left the room the first time I had to sit through this scene. It's a brilliant moment both because of the tension it breaks and the tension it builds because holy fucking shit the aftermath of this is So Much.

Kevin and Pluem- Ghost Host, Ghost House, Ep 4

I mean....

I don't think I need to say anything more about this scene. It is one of the most expertly executed sexual tension building scenes that I have ever seen in my entire life. If you haven't seen this show, hell if you haven't seen this scene. Go watch it. You will see what I mean.

tagging: @happypotato48, @ginnymoonbeam, @colourme-feral, and @neuroticbookworm

[becauseplot]

I continue with Inktordem! A bit longer than I thought it would be, but it’s done :D

Spoilers for basic story setting stuff revealed in OPD ep 1.

DAY 2 — SACRIFÍCIO

The trill, beep, and thunk of the Tetris machine is the only sound in the new Suvaco Seco. Kaiser’s hands fly across the controls, and his eyes flit back and forth across the screen. He’s riding a thin line this game. The stacks of colored blocks are dangerously close to the top and restricting his ability to maneuver them, but with every block he places, he punches his score up a little closer to Samuel’s.

He’s so close this time. A few minutes, and he’s secured his crown again, easy.

There’s sudden, heavy footsteps from the door that leads down to the base. Kaiser tenses a fraction of a second before a lightning-fast glance tells him who it is.

“Hey Kaiser.”

“Hey Arthur.”

Kaiser’s eyes are squarely on the screen again by the time he says it, sending a few pieces to the far side to get them out of the way.

He hears Arthur approach. Then he feels him at his shoulder. “How long have you been at this?”

“‘Bout an hour. Fourth attempt.”

Arthur whistles. “Samuel beat your record again?”

“Not for long.” Kaiser flicks a piece too far. “Shit!” He scrambles to fix it, desperately clearing a line. Then, three more, bam bam bam.

Arthur lets out a low chuckle. “Man, your hands are moving! No time to pause and help me put away the bar stock they carried in this morning, then?”

Kaiser pauses to focus. A piece, another piece, swap that one out, line cleared. He glances at the score. “Nnnnnnngive me five minutes.”

“You got it. I’ll just get things started, then.”

Arthur leaves. Kaiser clears three lines at once, then hurries for a fourth, then swaps out his piece for a fifth. “Thanks!” he remembers to say.

“Of course!” Arthur laughs.

A quiet descends upon the bar again. Now, the sound of his thunk-click-thunk on the Tetris machine is accompanied by the sound of Arthur shifting boxes up by the front door, humming things under his breath. Kaiser feels a tension melt out of his shoulders, and an easy smile form on his lips. Somehow, he thinks his piece-placing gets faster.

Arthur passes behind him a couple times, depositing boxes on what sounds like the counter to sort the stock. On the third pass, Arthur stops at Kaiser’s shoulder again, the bottles in the box clinking.

“Ooh,” drawls Arthur. “You’re close!”

“Yep.” Kaiser says it tightly. Riding that thin line again—close to the score, but towers close to the top as well. He doesn’t have to play the long game anymore, though, he just has to at least make it to the finish line. “Nearly there…”

Arthur bounces on his heels beside him, chanting, “Kai-ser, Kai-ser, Kai-ser, Kai-ser—”

“Dude!” Kaiser laughs.

“What?”

“You’re freaking me out!”

“I’m just trying to cheer for you.”

“Cheer quietly! In your head! Leave me alone!”

Arthur cackles, shoulders shaking with it, and then— “Oh shit—“

The bottle rattle loudly. Kaiser just barely spots the violent motion of the box out of the corner of his eye before he whirls around and dives down and throws his hands at it, fingers catching under the lip just in time to keep all the glass bottles inside from tumbling out onto the tile.

“Arthur?” Kaiser says as he watches his friend get a better grip on it with his one available hand. “Are you good?”

“I’m—“

And a dreary trill plays from the Tetris machine.

They stare at each other.

“Oh,” says Arthur.

Kaiser closes his eyes and tips his head back. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, man—”

“Kaiser I am so sorry—“

“I’m gonna cryyyyyy—”

“Oh my god I did not mean to do that I am so sorry—“

Kaiser whines, long and drawn out. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” he mumbles. “Better than all of Ivete’s bottles breaking after her order finally came in.”

“I really am sorry, Kaiser,” Arthur rambles, “I should have waited for you—”

“It’s fine Arthur, really,” Kaiser emphasizes, because Arthur really does look like he might cry from this. Kaiser kind of wants to as well, honestly, but if he cries then Arthur cries and then they’re both sitting here crying and it’s awkward. For Kaiser, at least. He pulls together a smile, albeit pained. “I can beat Samuel’s record another time.”

Kaiser shifts the box from Arthur’s awkward one-handed grip into his own arms. “So, where did Ivete want these?”

[uraosol]

Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle, oh, but it's gone again

OK I KNOW ANOTHER ANGSTY STOLITZ BUT IN MY DEFENSE!!! THIS WAS BASED ON THE JUST LOOK MY WAY VIDEO AND I STARTED ON IT BEFORE THE FULL MOON EP YTDUTDU5DU5D I doooo have one last angsty drawing planned and the angst will be out of my system I PROMISE!!!!! but yeeeee that one is still in the planning stages

[mikecardenmpreg]

i was listening to my least favorite the academy is... album fast times at barrington high while driving back from my parents' house in a vehicle i borrowed from my best friend's dad and was moved, as i have been so many times in the past, by after the last midtown show. at its core, atlms is a song about going back and reliving a single moment, which we know is impossible due to the inherit nature of time. william repeats "we're almost here again" at the end of the song, a clear throwback to almost here from their 2005 release almost here, where he chants, over and over, "our time is almost, our time is almost here", earnestly believing that if he says it enough, their time will come. with the release and success of fast times occurring only 3 years after their debut album, it is safe to say that they had made it to where the distant "here" was, finally reaching a level of fame and notoriety they worked tirelessly for three years straight to achieve. near the end of atlms, william sings "we were part of something ours and ours alone", which could possibly reference label interference, harkening back to that "lightning in a bottle" moment in time before they had to answer to anyone but themselves. label interference has been cited as one of many reasons the band broke up and it seems even after all the success and the pressure that comes with it, all william wanted was go back to the beginning and get back something he lost along the way. further adding to the bittersweet twinge of atlms, the band only managed to release a single, often overlooked EP after the success of fast times, falling apart at the seams only 3 years after the release of their most ambitious and applauded album because after years of clawing their way to the top, they found they were so fundamentally changed that going back to a time when "anywhere was home" was never again to be an option. and i can't help but wonder, was finally being there worth the cost of getting there?

[twig-tea]

Collection of Be My Favorite Meta after Ep 11 pre Ep 12

[I will try to come back and update this too so please tag me if you see good stuff not mentioned!]

Sorry if me organizing things this way offends anyone, this is mostly for myself to be able to refer back to specific thoughts from everyone's meta so I've grouped posts by points being made which means some posts get linked a bunch of times and a some points in each post may not be represented below because my brain can only hold so much. Please feel free to let me know if you hate it!:

Episode 11 didn't give us the resolution we wanted re: the lie in ep 10: @lurkingshan was right out of the gate with this take.

Maybe Episode 12 will fill the communication gap in ep 10 like we all wanted by giving Pisaeng a chance to say what was left unsaid: @bengiyo put this in his original thoughts and I am still thinking about it! @incandescentflower wrote a really great post on some of the ways Pisaeng leaves things unsaid

Pisaeng time travelling puts Pisaeng and Kawi on equal footing: @bengiyo wrote the definitive piece on this and credit to @grapejuicegay for making a similar point and expanding on it; @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle made this point too.

There was something off about the montage in ep 11: @bengiyo made this point; @waitmyturtles added some notes about why and @visualtaehyun added a couple notes on this too; @jjsanguine posited an interesting wrinkle about the stasis of time travel and whether that could be what needs to be fixed

[on the other side of this with me is the "the montage was satisfying" crowd: @thegalwhorants wrote this; @incandescentflower I think your post counts too; gonna link myself here too]

The ep 11 scene with Pisaeng and the doctor is extremely important and painful: @heretherebedork wrote a beautiful post about this; @nemesis-21 did too; @marbles290 did too; @visualtaehyun put this in the current Thai political context; @snidgetwrites added the Indian political context

They might go back to decide to fight for equal rights: @rocketturtle4 said this really well

They might go back and decide to use the system to their advantage and get Kawi and Pear to marry: @grapejuicegay laid this one out

They might go abroad to be able to get married like Pisaeng's mom wanted: @marbles2900 wrote about this

Kawi's death may be unavoidable: @williamrikers summarized this nicely here; @shortpplfedup seems to be hinting at thinking the same?, @thegalwhorants posited this too; so did @knighthacker here; also theorized this in my ep 11 reaction post; @minorista wrote great angst about this and @neonsbian added the twist of them riding the time loop to stay together

The point may be that time travel isn't the answer/can't solve everything, and love takes work: @waitmyturtles made this point, and I love it; @stuffnonsenseandotherthings also made this point here (sorry I missed it earlier!)

Pisaeng may try to break up with Kawi in the past: @rebel0777 laid out options for how this would play out; @tinycowboybro noted Pisaeng foreshadowed this; @zzh3 added that maybe Kawi goes to find him on the same beach

Has Pisaeng already been time-travelling?: @waitmyturtles added this wild theory that the montage was time travel Pisaeng's perspective

(Counter to this, @pandasmagorica points out that because of the mechanisms of time travel in this show Pisaeng cannot do a perpetual time loop.) [NEW]

This means the timeline we saw has been erased: @ellaspore wrote this very eloquently; some folks have chimed in to say they're ok with this (@rocketturtle4 and @bengiyo)

BUT WHERE IS THE CAT: @sparklyeyedhimbo made possibly my favourite observation thus far

For anyone confused, here's how the time travel mechanism works in this show: @telomeke wrote a great explainer out, and @benkaaoi makes an important point about why it matters, @jjsanguine laid this out too (I'm going to be selfish and link my reblog thread because I built on this a little in my reply)

[ADDED:]

I tried my hand at figuring out the timeline for the show here.

@stuffnonsenseandotherthings makes the point that by shifting from Kawi to Pisaeng as the protagonist, this show is queering the narrative

@grapejuicegay added some thoughts about the timeline mechanics and how it affects the consciousness of Kawi and Pisaeng.

[updated 4pm EDT Aug 7]

[sixstepsaway]

i've had some thoughts bouncing around for a while about ofmd s2, and in light of the news, i'm going to brain dump some of them. if you don't feel like listening to me complain about HBO and would rather just go cry about OFMD not getting season 3, that's chill, go ahead, no hard feelings

so.

season 1 was absolutely the definition of lightning in a bottle. it had great acting, great writing, gorgeous set and costume design, it was great, and not only that but it was unabashedly queer

jim had a whole episode dedicated to "actually i'm not a woman i'm just jim" and then everyone - even the bad guys, even the antagonists, even their nun nana, everyone - referred to them as they/them after that, no questions asked

the main character went through an arc that was basically figuring out his sexuality and going "oh shit, i love a man" on a show that was not directly advertised as "OUR QUEER MEANS DEATH" like a, y'know, Queer Show would be

and stede and ed's romance felt like it was important. It felt like the pirates of it all was mostly incidental, background, filler, just fun to pad out the situation and give them things to be challenged by (the badmintons!) while also being fun on its own. it's the kind of show where if you pulled all the characters out and slapped them into a whole other situation like space agents or time travellers or everyone lives together in a loft runs a bakery... it'd still work. sure, the badmintons would be less murderous and run a competing bakery or something, but it'd still work, because the focus was on the characters, and on the romance between stede and ed

the first three episodes of season 3 felt that way too. the love between stede and ed was paramount and if you swapped to a mafia au or a bakery au it'd still work (with some gentle adjustments for ed's Behavior™ to be fair)

but.

season 1, they kept saying it was a rom com, and it felt like one. it was just a rom com that was set at sea! how fun!

now, rom coms have tropes. they have genre-specific things that you kind of expect from, well, a rom com. you expect mess. you expect things like ed fucking off with jack because he doesn't feel good enough

(i've recently been rewatching new girl and although some of the humor makes me cringe, it's still a great show, and one of the main things about it is that everyone is messy. no matter how much schmitt loves cece, he's going to make mistakes. no matter how obviously nick and jess are going to end up together and belong together, they're going to sleep with the wrong people, make mistakes, break up etc. it's as much a rom com as ofmd.

one of the things that makes new girl so good and makes me love the main couples so much is how hard they work to be together, how they fight adversity and the mess of their own flaws and toxicity and still get together because they love each other most, in the end)

i remember in s1 thinking how if stede had been a woman, jack would have been too, and ed would've had at least one romantic/sexual scene with jack when he ran away with him

but i also remember thinking, "yeah, but the show hadn't explicitly done the his name is ed reveal and the kiss on the beach yet, and the reveal hits so hard, it makes sense not to do that earlier", and tbh i stand by that

which brings me to s2, after the first three eps, where they tried to go back to rom com and it just felt... forced.

rom coms usually have adversity. they have other characters that directly and truly threaten the main pairing by being interesting to those characters! no matter how you feel about izzy, he was framed as a love interest or as an ex that was still complicated, but the show very much tiptoed around that

does "i have love for you" and "i loved you best i could" make sense for the characters? yeah.

do i feel like if ed was a woman, she and izzy would've had a messy rebound relationship for stede to have to contend with, for the two of them to come out the other side of wanting each other from? yeah.

ofmd s1 felt unabashedly queer. s2 felt like they didn't want to be too gay.

they put olu with a Woman™, they put jim with a woman almost like it was less queer and more acceptable this way than queering olu, they completely waved off olu and jim's relationship and dropped any concept of polyamory because that would've made it even queerer, not less queer

(i'm using queer here as a definition more of breaking boundaries and being outside of the norm to the extent it makes cishets deeply uncomfortable and the queer in question aren't conforming to society's standards. and this reading of s2 (and s1) is entirely subjective, it's just what's been bubbling here for me)

pete and lucius went from "we don't own each other" to marriage, with no footnotes of what marriage meant to them specifically, whether they were, in fact, conforming with the 'norm' of marriage (exclusivity, labels, definitions etc) or whether they were still chill about these things or whether this now meant no more penis drawings

the queerest episode was probably the party episode (which was so good), but even that was especially queer because some cast members fought to make it so (con wanting izzy's drag to be beautiful not funny has HAUNTED ME, because that means it was originally supposed to be played for laughs!!) not because it was that way naturally

the fact i read somewhere that the party and the drag was originally lupete's wedding makes so much more sense to me because yeah, they WOULD have a wedding like that, but instead they got a lame final episode wedding because it would have been way too queer to do it at calypso's birthday with drag and queer joy everywhere

it also would have been more realistic to the lucius and pete we got in season 1.

there were a lot of things in season 2 that felt... weird. we've talked about it. we have all talked about it.

the final episode, even outside of the thing i hated most, was just horribly written imo. there's big sweeping gestures and no kind of real emotional pay off for the main relationships (lupete included), and everything got tied with a neat little bow at the end

i remember when we were told s2 was 8 episodes and how much the budget had been chopped thinking, "ha, we're so not getting a season 3"

i remember when i realized how weirdly rewritten most of season 2 had been thinking, "yeah, there's not going to be a season 3"

i remember when bitching about ed's arc being totally truncated and handwaved thinking, "mm, we're not getting a season 3"

and i remember when the Revenge sailed off into the sunset with everyone but ed and stede on board thinking, "oh yeah, we're done."

just enough was left open that a season 3 could happen.

just enough was left open that if a miracle happened, there'd be something to do with season 3.

but i genuinely, 100%, hand on my heart, think djenks knew he wasn't getting a season 3

and don't get me wrong, i'm not absolving him of the poor writing choices he made in season 2, but i am saying it makes a lot more sense if you think of it from the perspective of corporate meddling and having everything taken away while he was actively trying to make season 2

we already know HBO cut the budget a ridiculous amount so they just had to make everything work with what they had. we already know HBO cut the episode number.

season 2 plays out like they prepped a good chunk of it, ready for 10 episodes, and then HBO cut the budget and cut the episodes

and so things had to be changed and chopped about. ed's arc got lots of screen time and focus for three episodes (before the cuts) and then things got quicker, and fast

characters were cut for time and for budget reasons.

and then i think towards the end of production and the end of writing, djenks learned the odds of season 3 were minimal at best, and he panicked

i think the original plan was probably for ed's arc to go for the majority of season 2. maybe a middle piece where he and stede tried but it still wasn't Right (last night was a mistake) because ed had so much to work on and so much to heal

i genuinely wonder if the finale was completely rewritten at the last minute because to me it makes way, way more sense from a narrative standpoint for things to have been more staggered out. let's consider ten episodes instead of 8:

episodes 1-5: same as they were when aired, including the gravy basket giving us set-up for what ed's dealing with internally, giving us something to latch onto and prepare for his redemption. NO KISS AT THE END OF EPISODE 5. episode 6: ed is still wearing the bell. he's sort of done his amends with lucius, but now he needs to do amends with the rest of the ship. stede is still learning his piratey ways, so there's hijinks in the background. jim and archie and olu try to decide what their relationship is after the garlic and all, and debate room arrangements. lucius and pete announce their engagement. stede and ed nearly kiss. episode 7: more ed redemption arc. he's still working at things, he's shying away from violence because violence is what took him down this dark path to begin with. maybe we get some discussion of his father. stede, blind to ed's flaws, insists he's nothing like his father! ed tries to make amends with izzy but somehow this is the hardest of all because he hurt him the most of all. izzy gets chance to apologize for what he now sees as his part in pushing ed down into the darkness (trying to drag blackbeard back) and izzy's apology makes ed feel worse somehow and gives him some absolution when he finally figures out how to return his own. ed kisses stede but says he wants to take it slow. episode 8: wedding episode!! calypso's birthday!! ed uses his loot to bankroll lupete's wedding. stede reacts with violence to ned and we know from everything before that ed is actively trying to distance himself from the violence of piracy because, yeah, of course he is. is it a good idea? nope. does it make sense to his character for him to still be putting a good chunk of the blame on piracy for his actions, rather than accepting the parts of his whole and learning how to regulate those parts healthily? yes. anyway, stede reacts to his own violence by clutching for ed, ed feels after like his boundaries were pushed. same as show. episode 9: ed is having a meltdown. he and izzy have started to heal, so izzy watching him stare at fishing boats and just chatting to him like nothing happened actually makes a lick of sense. lupete are on their honeymoon at jackie's. olu gets to hook back up with zheng and archie and jim want to go along because they're not super happy on the ship still because although ed is doing better, the past of what he does still hangs over everyone. olu, zheng, jim and archie do not discuss the poly of it all properly, and it's hilarious and a mess, and gives us something to look forward to handling in season 3. ed freaks out about stede being violent when he's the one thing he felt like wasn't violent (and thus safe for him to be with), and about taking it not at all slow, breaks things off and runs away. izzy gets stede to come back to the ship. stede gets into a fight with zheng, the bombs go off, whatever (not a fan of this for her sake but if it has to happen, it can happen) episode 10: ed is off fishing but it's not going well and he's pissing pop-pop off all the time because he's not good at fishing. stede and co are handling the ricky of it all. the episode is mostly the same at the start, but instead of ed immediately going "omg, i gotta save bae" he doesn't find out about the attack until right at the end of the episode. stede and co make it back to the revenge and escape safely, and when ed retrieves his leathers and returns he thinks they're dead! he threatens/tortures/whatever some english and they say no, stede escaped! they all escaped! the season ends with ed, all decked out in his leathers, with his sword, now in the position stede was last season: staring out over the water, planning to find the man he loves.

this sets season 3 up for ed to be on his own for a little while, for him to handle and figure out how to channel his violence into something 'good' (wanting to find his love, wanting to protect his crew etc).

maybe season 3 flashes back to baby!ed again and the fact his first act of violence against his father wasn't motivated by anger or spite, it was motivated by wanting to protect someone he loved: his mum.

then season 3 they find each other again, and maybe they meet in the moonlight for the parallel to hit even better, they finally get back together properly, for good, with maybe some comedic issues along the way, and ed finds his place in the world to be less "blackbeard, the terror of the seas" and more "ed protects those he loves."

i honestly think this is probably how the show was originally meant to go, or at least something close.

i think midway through season 2, djenks heard it was over and he (rightfully) panicked and threw together a finale that tied up as many loose ends as he could because he knew.

and i dont think there's anything that could've been done about it. i think it was dead in the water (no pun intended) the moment all the MAX/HBO/whatever reshuffles happened, I think it was too queer and I genuinely think executive meddling made a lot of the more queer elements go away, possibly right down to trying to wipe away the exes/love interests of it all with that whole father figure thing

and, again, i'm not absolving djenks of some of his more baffling writing decisions. he's a grown man and he makes his own choices. but i am saying i think it explains a LOT about why the finale we got is what we got, and i'm not sorry stede and ed ended the show together rather than apart or with their lives hanging in the balance or something

anyway these are just a bunch of thoughts i've been having, tied together by the cancellation.

[wiimotion]

you know what.. I realized Nichijou season 2 is really not what I want at all.. I think things are best the way they are right now.. we were lightning in a bottle.. and people are still having the ‘is Mai gay?’ debate…

what i want is .. ONE MORE OVA!! but, like, a long one! Like 44 minutes tops! And nothing interesting would happen at all.. it would be like ep 0… and we’ll call it.. ep.. 0.. again.. (ﾟ益ﾟ) The a little bit longer than usual cut.

[gibuckaroo]

image of us

buck/eddie | gen | 4.8k words

eddie pov + post lightning ep + kitchen talk + emotional hurt/comfort

There are those moments and there is this moment right here:  Buck sprawled on his couch—alive, breathing and asleep. He holds the two bottles of beers in his hand as he uses the other to open one and take a swig while still looking at him.  This is the image he has of Buck—brave, courageous and fearless even when he’s just sleeping, hands over at the back of the couch exactly the way he does when he’s cradling Christopher closer to him.  Or: An extended version of their conversation in the kitchen during season 6 episode 12 and Eddie processing that he almost lost Buck (and that he did for three minutes and seventeen seconds).

link to ao3 here

[bengiyo]

Love Class 2 Eps 9 & 10 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, in keeping with the theme, I can barely remember what happened in the K-BLs. I know that the younger couples all basically came out to each other, and all three couples gave some decent kissing. I continue to enjoy J-min. I also am glad we resolved the situation with Kim An’s orphanage friend, because that was kinda fucked. The TA and artist are dealing with a misunderstanding that feels a little meaty, so I hope we have a good resolution moment for it. I’m glad Maru and Minwoo finally kissed about their problems.

Episode 9

I’m okay starting with Minwoo and Maru spooning.

Okay, it’s very sweet of Maru to recognize that Minwoo has loved him for a long time and stood by him through all the things Maru went through. I love him promising to be there with Minwoo now.

Kim An is shirtless in bed? How now brown cow.

Never mind, they’re handling business and getting it in.

Oh shit. Joo Hyuk’s friend read him on this park date goddamn.

Oh, was Joo Hyuk with the teacher that Sungmin often does chores for?

Looks like Maru’s tormenting of the manager worked.

Look at my girl finally finding a straight man to flirt with.

The professor was Joo Hyuk’s uncle? LOL

My man Sungmin is so resilient. He realized he’d embarrassed himself, cleared up the matter, and then asked for a date. That’s what I’m talking about!

Kim An and Lee Hyun are frolicking!!

I’m okay with everyone getting cute dates this episode.

I will never get tired of people expressing their feelings for each other clearly and directly, and then making out.

“You are obedient at important moments,” and  “Let’s have many important moments. I promise I’ll be a good boy,” what actually so hot.

I appreciate that there was probably a limit to how physically intimate they could get an idol like J-min to be in this show, and so they fed us with the sides. It’s something Thailand relied upon a lot for a while. J-min served well by being so talented in the early parts when I was struggling a bit. This show has struck a really nice balance after I settled into it.

I see you boys rolling around with each other and I know what that means. Nicely done, sirs.

I love that the tag is giving us the backstory for how Joo Hyuk fell for Sungmin. Unsurprisingly, Joo Hyuk was kind of a whiny drunk.

Episode 10

Now we’re on a Gays Only Camping Trip? Incredible.

This looks like so much fun omg.

These people have immaculate vibes. This is way better than whatever the fuck was going on in Our Skyy 2: Star in My Mind.

This supermarket trip is so cute holy shit.

You mean the tell me this is a gay bbq and they didn’t know they was all paired off? Gay people are so dumb.

I love this conversation between Minwoo and Lee Hyun about how Minwoo used to be jealous of Lee Hyun’s feelings.

This show is doing a really good job showing couples settling into each other in its finale.

Okay, deciding to no longer kiss in the shadows is such a baller gay thing to say that this show just earned half a point.

Okay this photo is really good.

Final Verdict: 8.5, This Was Cute as Hell. I want to thank @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle for getting me to keep going with this show. I think it was a little hard to follow at first, but I had really satisfying outings with all of the characters here. It was kind of a grab bag of plots, but once I locked in I had a fantastic time. This was really fun, and a worthwhile watch. J-min has real talent and I was impressed by him.

[rocketturtle4]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagged by @dribs-and-drabbles, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist @twig-tea - I really appreciate everyone still tagging me and reading my few meagre contributions despite the fact I feel like I've become a tumblr ghost in the last few months only briefly gaining corporality for a moment before I vanish again.

January - May

I only got on Tumblr in very late May of this year (for the second time but the mid 2010s were a different time lol) so no posts till after that, also It has still been less than a year since I even started watching BL.

June

I had to go manually searching for some of these, nobody used to know who I was.

Most popular: Dying over having Emotions (basically just me having no idea how to convert myself to weekly viewings without agony lol)

Favourite: Arthrit was my Favourite Character and I want to write about him; My reflection on the SOTUS Franchise as a newbie - my first proper attempt at meta

July

Most popular:  Be My Favourite - When is the present actually the future - This was my first go at analysing an airing show (about ep 5)

Favorite(s): To Sir With Love - A Reflection - My first deliberate grappling with western vs eastern family norms and how this informs me as a western viewer + Why Kawi Felt Intentionally Ace Coded (something I absolutely stand by)

August (OF started but I got Shadowbanned lol)

Most popular: Thaenthai's shirt (Laws of Attraction) - Not a meta just an observation

Favorite: Aceness in BL, Lets go for a Ramble (My Favourite Post of the Year) + Tonhon Chonlatee is Phenomenal - Long Post Edition (because it is)

September

Most popular meta: I am adoring the heart of Only Friends

Most popular post (ever lol): Determination (to have sex) (MPW)

October (My PhD thesis was seriously eating me by here)

Most popular/Favourite: Only Friends, Shipping Culture, Cross-Generational Differences, Themes and Endgame

November

The only post I made in November was this one lol

December 

Most popular/favourite: I am here to freak out about the sign and it's portrayal of masculinity

__

I'm still trying to figure out a new balance of Study and Tumblr and Work and Shows but I will continue to try to be around into the New Year

Tagging (possibly double/triple tagging): @ranchthoughts @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle @plantsarepeopletoo @sparklyeyedhimbo @thegalwhorants @grapejuicegay

[absolutebl]

Hello! So in the latest Jun and Jun episode, Choi Jun's female friend called Lee Jun "unnie". Do you know if that's similar to the Thai use of "jae"? Or is it a little mean/derogatory in the queer sense? Like the connotation of "meeha" in Thai?

I'm not familiar with queer culture in S Korea.

I think under this context from a story/narrative perspective, it's kinda like the jae use in Thai queer community. But only kinda. Jae has been coopted, but I'm not sure unni has.

Instead, I think there was more a case-specific acknowledgment within the application of the term that Choi Jun is openly courting Lee Jun and his best girl knows this.

It was more:

"Since you're basically married in Choi's head, imma call you the honorific I would use on his spouse. As the bratty younger sister in this dynamic it is my job to be a punk-arse."

Is she fam or fag hag?

Not sure.

THAT would make a difference in how derogatory it is.

As it stands, we can assume it is a tease but nothing more significant than that.

Choi Jun is clearly pretty easygoing, but as her elder he could have gotten a lot more offended and strict with her, if it was a seriously bad word (in his opinion or society's or queerdom). After all Choi Jun had already very explicitly handed him the social power as elder brother (by havign him in the front seat etc..), which means LJ could have safely reprimanded her if he thought it necessary.

It's certainly clear she feels a certain amount of ownership over Choi Jun either way.

We don't yet know how Lee Jun perceives his own sexuality. So that also makes a difference. (Although I think we can assume he's not totally straight and knows it, or he wouldn't have been mulling over the size of CJ's boner in such a, erm, very gay way.)

A Korean speaker @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle talks more about what's going on with language in this latest ep here: