#entirely consumed by the light in my estate still can u tell

[fooltofancy]

i really like the weird little flickies at the nape of his neck on this hair, but per usual i have made them Worse.

[ecotone99]

[TH] Ice Princes

After Justine confirmed Papa’s story, everyone stopped asking when Mama would be back. Justine took the role of a governess, making sure every child was conducting themselves under Papa’s rules and staying tidy. Justine moved out of our shared room and into the attic, keeping to herself when she wasn’t watching the younger ones. The house seemed almost normal, except I was the only one who knew the awful truth. I was the only soul who knew why Justine was no longer Justine and kept her sleeves long and gloves on at all times. I had watched Justine die inside that horrible autumn night.

A week after that night, all of us began falling into some demented routine. Every morning Justine would wake Samuel, then dress three-year-old Layla and one-year-old Christopher, although none of us were sure he’d make it to next year. Poor Christopher looked so ill as if Mama’s leaving took his soul with it. But Justine still took care of him despite his sickly fits of coughed up milk and hollow cheeks.

Samuel, being five, was given the responsibility of waking the others. He first went into Lily and Stella’s room, the eight-year-old twins who were double the trouble in their stubborn ways. Both girls had light brown hair and Mama’s dark blue eyes. Then Samuel would wake the older boys, Simon who was fourteen and Ronan who was twelve. Simon looked more like our father with light brown hair and a strong chin, but he had Mama’s eyes. Ronan had all Mama’s features, he and Justine both resembled her most.

Once the boys were awake they were in charge of getting everyone downstairs to breakfast where Justine was already waiting with the younger ones. Except no one bothered me anymore. Samuel used to try and wake me in the morning but I was always already awake. I couldn’t sleep well anymore, my mind would repeat the unexplained horrors I’d seen. Between Papa’s demon eyes, Mama’s death, and Justine’s unnatural torture, I was no longer an active child. I stopped interacting with my siblings and hardly ate. I watched my family keep their distance from me with amber eyes; the only pair of eyes that matched our father’s. My only companion was the doll my mother gave me, and Margaret was the only one I could bare talking to. She was the only one who could see what I did.

I joined the table moments after Lily and Stella finally arrived. I sat in my seat next to Stella placing Margaret in my lap. I always received odd looks for bringing my doll. Stella used to call it childish for a ten-year-old girl with Lily laughing beside her, but since I never reacted nor spoke against it they eventually stopped.

Papa sat last at the head of the table, and everyone greeted him except me. I couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, afraid of what I might see staring back. Justine placed porridge and grits before us for breakfast, all the children talking excitedly about the day’s anticipated outing into the new snow and the chores set around the house.

Ronan was talking quickly and quietly to Simon but stopped mid-sentence to address the table.

“Oh, just so everyone knows, I was cleaning out the shed yesterday to get all our winter coats out and found something rather peculiar. There was a mutilated cat in the shed beneath the rafters. Anyone have any idea how it got there?”

The table was silent, but I could feel eyes staring at me. Justine especially looked ill as she gazed towards me, her throat working hard to swallow. Even Papa, his face no longer drawn in tiredness stared at me with a worried expression.

“Anna, any idea about the cat? I could have sworn you found a stray black cat just last week,” said Justine.

I just shrugged, unsure of why they all looked at me. Justine knew what really happened there, I don’t know why she would plant a cat in the shed. Was she trying to cover for Papa?

“I’m not sure what you're talking about. You didn’t see anything either, right Margaret?” I said.

I looked at Margaret's porcelain face, but she didn’t know anything either.

“See, we didn’t see anything like that,” I replied firmly.

My siblings continued to look at me strangely, but I could not understand why they looked at me as if I were the monster at the table.

“Excuse me, I don’t feel well,” whispered Justine as she ran up to her new room.

I could see the tears gathering in her eyes, but I knew it had to be because Justine knew the truth and her guilt was beginning to consume her. I also knew Justine wouldn’t be joining us on our outing because of her mangled limbs and her responsibility for the younger children who couldn’t go. Samuel was very upset he would be forced to stay indoors, but Papa thought him too young still.

After breakfast, we all grabbed coats and toys, the boys grabbing skates and sleds for us to use. I had just finished zipping up my light blue jacket when Ronan grabbed my shoulder lightly. I looked up to see him with Simon just behind him.

“Listen, Anna, we were talking and it’s probably best you stay back with Justine to help her watch after Christopher and Samuel. Maybe you can even take a nap while the house is quiet, you don’t look as if you’ve been sleeping well,” said Ronan.

I felt the rage inside of me, how dare they tell me I couldn’t go. I had to protect them from Papa, who knows what he might do next.

“We’re going to play in the snow, right Margaret?” I paused to hear any protest but continued when greeted by silence.

“See, we’re going. I want to build a snowman like Mama used to.”

Ronan and Simon looked at each other for a while before Simon shrugged. Ronan only sighed.

“Alright, fine. But stay where we can see you, okay?”

The boys didn’t wait for a response before returning to the front of the group.

We had a pond behind our estate, and on snowy days it was completed frozen over. Mama was the one who taught us how to skate, and Ronan was the best. Simon of course always followed Ronan, even when they knew that the new winter's ice was notoriously thin.

Papa stood at the far right of the pond, laughing with Lily and Stella as they held to his sides. I felt envious of the attention they received, especially since I was the one who was always so special. I was Mama’s sunshine, but Mama wasn’t here anymore.

The day commenced as any other would, with all us children on skates and Papa supervising. The boys were racing and challenging each other to complete the best trick, taking the entire lake in their jest. Lily and Stella quickly fled their skating adventures though, taking the sled in search of a stoop hill. I stayed on the frozen water, enjoying watching the boys as I skated nearby. Our father was still standing to the far side of the lake, standing stoically as the boys started skating back towards him. As they neared though, Papa stepped back off the ice and onto the bank removing his skates. When Simon and Ronan weren’t paying any attention while they raced forward, shoving into one another, I watched Papa shove the pointed edge of his skate into the still thin ice, fracturing it. The cracks divided the ice quickly, leaving no time for the boys to react as they both fell completely into the water. I watched Papa, seeing his copper eyes staring back at me sharply before jumping in after the boys.

Neither Ronan nor Simon resurfaced from the water.

———————————————————————

The First Escape: Part Three

submitted by /u/lenorayusset15 [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2MHBy6t

[kateemmerson]

THE SASSY SYNCHRONISTIC STUFF OF SIMPLY SHOWING UP

THE SASSY SYNCHRONISTIC STUFF OF SIMPLY SHOWING UP #Minimalist meanderings

Recently in the quaint country of Romania for some work, I experienced some (well SEVERAL) sassy synchronistic stuff unfold as I allowed the special energy of this beautiful city take over for a while. I was staying in a flash 5 star hotel as a guest of my host in the country (Sassy #1 – having been delightfully upgraded from an already wonderful 4 star hotel as upon checking in they were renovating that back part of the hotel and a band had extended their stay, so they had no room at that Inn and so they “moved me” to the ooh la la Radisson on the front) Ooh I love that I believe in unexpected delights!

Sassy #2 – there were strelitzias basking on the new concierge’s desk at check in. Hello South Africa. The Radisson was also directly opposite the main concert hall near the old walled city, and 2 days later I discovered there was a special concert on THAT evening. How?

I had been gifted a three-hour private walking and driving tour of the city earlier by my hosts, and we happened to go inside the concert hall to view it’s historical magnificence when we stumbled across some deeply inspirational choral practice whilst looking up at the domed ceilings with awe. Sassy #3 – My amazing tour guide mentioned there was a very special concert on that evening – nudge nudge wink wink.

Sassy #4 – we then landed up in front of the “palace” that was built under Communist rule, now the seat of government. My host proclaimed, that although being Romanian she had never yet been inside or had the tour, and that sadly you need to submit your passport at least 24 hours before in order to get inside. We were marveling at it from the parking lot. Then she gets a twinkle in her eye and says- shall we try and get in? She made a phone call to a friend who works inside, and even though he WASN’T working that particular day he said – go to the entrance and they will allow you to visit today! My host and guide both decided I was their lucky charm, making everything so easy and effortless.

I started feeling a bit lousy in the afternoon after returning from the tour, and had taken myself off to bed for an afternoon nap, contemplating the concert that night. 35 minutes before the start of the concert, I knew I would regret not trying to get a ticket, so I dragged myself out of bed again, splashed my face and added a dash of lipstick, walked across to the “late sales” booth at the side, and stood in a long queue.

Mmmm bed seemed very appealing again. Waiting, slowly.

I saw a very well dressed elderly gentleman standing near the queue for the 15 minutes I was there and kept wondering what he was doing? He wasn’t talking to anyone, but kept trying to motion to them. I kinda felt sorry for him. As I got to the front of the kiosk, they told me they only accepted CASH> >>>aaaargh I only had my card. Cash machine here? No! Tickets were 75 leu and I had only 40 leu cash on me. Damn. Maybe the other Hotel across the road could convert my foreign money, as I knew my own hotel didn’t do that. In Romania what is weird is that all the hotels only work in Euro’s, as it’s now part of the EU, yet all the local shops and establishment still use Romanian Leu, the original, local currency. It’s a tad confusing.

That Hotel also had no local money for me and the banks had closed ten minutes ago.

Eventually after 10 minutes – with the show now starting in ten minutes, I found a cash machine, realizing it would dispense in local currency. DUH! Now, a little weird travel lesson from South Africa. We are considered a slightly “dodgy” country, you know because we look and sound just like Nigeria where most of the money laundering in the world happens. Every time I leave SA I spend about an hour on the phone calling my two banks and getting all my business and credit cards cleared for the countries of my travel, otherwise any foreign transactions might be deemed fraudulent transactions. And even after doing that time-consuming clearance, they can still decline transactions when I’m overseas. So I have multiple cards with multiple options so as not to get caught out.

It took me three cards to be able to draw cash from THIS Romanian machine!

Right – dash back, sweating and huffing to the queue, now with less than 5 minutes till show time. Old man still there. Sassy #5 – He shows me a ticket and says “you for one?” He seems to “imply” he has a ticket (in very broken English and of course I am 200% fluent in Romanian) so I go to the kiosk lady and get her to verify the ticket is indeed valid as there was no date on it (that’s how their special season tickets work apparently) and he says he wants only 60 leu for it. B for bargain, as the tickets were  originally 75 leu.

“COME” he urges, “we late”.

As we are walking and running up the stairs he manages to convey to me that his wife is home and ill and this is her season ticket – pretty good communication hey? We walk into this uppermost concert room and I gasp. OMG – vast, bold, exquisite and ornate. Everyone dressed to the nines and I am transported to ancient Eastern European grandeur.

Sassy #6 – He proceeds to walk to the FRONT ROW. I am front and centre and can hear the musicians breathe as they are warming up. In and out, deep and crisp and even. And the faint squeak the violin string makes before the haunting sound is emitted across the air. I can reach out and touch the conductor as he sashays to the front and lifts his baton!

I can see him twitch and sweat beads form on his brow.

Front row tickets for simply BEING in a city on a night and being willing to show up. I am in awe of the magic of life.

Too often we try and PRE control and PRE book. I believe there is a place for that, but I do love the magic of being in the moment and letting life unfold! FRONT ROW SEATS UNFOLDS! Sassy #7 -The next morning as I head outside to my taxi back to the airport to leave for Greece to run a writing retreat, I see the music conductor sitting in the hotel lobby. Already half way through the revolving door, I make a split second decision to do the full 360 degree circle and get out where I started. I walked up to him, apologized for interrupting his Sunday morning with his female companion, shook his hand and said how marvelous it was that I had enjoyed the privilege of being in the front row the night before. “I remember you, madam, thank you” he said, smiling and eyes twinkling.

And that is how I love to travel.

Do you need to start letting sassy magic unfold in YOUR life? Perhaps I can share some of my methods with you over the next few months?

Last week, I had 90 minutes to “kill” before meeting a dear friend for a mutually soulful chat and had gone early to make sure I was in the right place. So literally killing time, wondering where to go to I was just meandering along in my Russian hat. This “random” guy, bit older than me, Kevin to be precise, stop and says, “I know this is weird but I have (Sassy #8) “time to kill” before making my way to my theatre show tonight with friends and may I buy you a cup of coffee. You look really interesting”. I shrieked with laughter, looked a little shocked and amused at the same time and promptly tuned into my spirit and said yes. I KNOW some of you are reading this with many many “WTF is wrong with you Kate!!!” going round in your head.

As we sat and chatted and told each other a bit about ourselves, (and please let me re-iterate with zero weirdness or innuendos or sexual undertones whatsoever) I was telling him about my new book being released this year helping clients to get really clear on the complex emotional issues of detaching emotionally from a home before putting in on the market to sell, and to support people to sell, pack and move with ease. He just looks at me and smiles – he is about to sell his house and it’s a potentially complicated story with the house and…..Sassy #9 he ALSO works for a well-known estate agent in his town. Now – here’s the rub – I am I the process of looking for potential “brand partners” in the whole property industry, alongside “guinea pigs” to keep working with the material to give me feedback on how it all works for them. Social proof if you like. So this sassy just tickled me pink.

And then there was today catching a bus on a sad, dreary day from Rugby – saying goodbye to my mum on the side of the road just as the light was just coming u, I start chatting the the guy waiting for the bus with me, also headed to Heathrow Airport. Sitting across the aisle, we simply chat about where we are headed and why, and spend the next two hours chatting about work, life, beauty therapy, making brave bold choices in life and business and following our dreams. He landed up Sassy #10 – lugging my suitcase between the buses whilst we waited for an hour and he bought me a mug of tea and became my companion for a while on the road. We even landed up looking at his new brand logos for his business.

Yep, I speak to strangers and I let my trust in people, the world and what we are all doing here seep into my soul at every turn. It’s all to easy to shut off, shut down and shut up. How is that working for YOU?

  Call me crazy, call me naïve, call me mad. Or worse. I call it “THE SASSY SYNCHRONISTIC STUFF OF SIMPLY SHOWING UP”. And I mean showing up with trust, openness, love, compassion and your wits about you at every turn. Let life and people surprise the hell out of you, shock you and win you over. Yes, it’s a bit of a dare!

  WANT TO FIND YOUR OWN VERSION OF SASSY?

I am so passionate about this concept of LIVING IN THE MOMENT and being in love with your real self (as in deeply proud of who you are and how you live your life) and for me it all starts with HONESTY.

The starting point is simply to TAKE STOCK in all 8 areas of life, so that you get clear on WHERE YOU are and what is and isn’t working for you.

I have created an entire video series – FREE of charge to support you to get started. Click here to  QUICK SHIFT 1 THING using the 4  G-SPOTS of TRANSFORMATION If I can help you do that as smartly as possible, then you will have some starting points to let yourself meander and BE. And that is good for ALL of us. My mission is to help you find your own SASSY and SHIFT!

When you sign up, you will need to confirm your e-mail address, and get stuck into the first video with pen and paper. Then I will send you 2 more videos.

These 3 live videos will cover the 4 G spots of Transformation – Grips, Gap, Grow and Guts.

TAKING STOCK in all 8 areas will help you figure in which 1 area YOU need to shift immediately.

Then further down the line you will be invited to “The Cappuccino Challenge” -another surefire way to stay HONEST with YOURSELF. Courageous acts of self-love every day for 30 days. Loved by THOUSANDS of CLIENTS that have transformed their lives permanently in just 20 minutes a day  –  Just so you know what’s in store for you as you join my “tribe” ok?

LET’S GET YOU STARTED RIGHT AWAY

With lightness,

THE SASSY SYNCHRONISTIC STUFF OF SIMPLY SHOWING UP was originally published on Kate Emmerson - The Quick Shift Deva