#enough wholesome goths who love each other 100%

[acrowthatlikeswriting]

No more of that “UWU soft flower girl” Persephone and “uWu innocent goth boy” Hades “forbidden romance because mommy Demeter said no” nonsense. Give me these two BEING THE ABSOLUTELY FOREBODING, TERRIFYING, AND MORALLY GRAY UNDERWORLD GODS THAT THE MYTHS POTRAY THEM AS. MAKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP COMPLICATED AND MESSY INSTEAD OF JUST “uwu goth husband and girlboss wife 24/7”. LET THEM BE WRONG, MAKE MISTAKES, HAVE FLAWS—

Acknowledge that in the Hymn of Demeter, while Hades loved Persephone—Persephone was never mentioned to have loved Hades, and was completely upset with having been taken away from her mother and friends on Earth.

And please, STOP ANTAGONIZING DEMETER. She was never an overbearing helicopter parent. She loved her daughter to the point that she literally shook heaven and earth just to save her from a forced marriage. Why must every retelling of this myth demonize Demeter for looking out for her daughter?

Hades is not evil, but he’s not a heroic underdog either. He may genuinely love Persephone, and look to her for guidance, but we can’t overlook or rewrite the fact that he kidnapped her and binded her to the underworld (albeit for half the year).

I don’t think their relationship is 100% dysfunctional. Hades seeks Persephone’s input and advice on how to rule, and deal with the mortals who venture into their domain. However, I think there are a lot of nuances and underlying flaws in their relationship people tend to overlook.

Tl:dr I devolve into a bit of a rant on how Persephone and Hades are portrayed as the best couple in Greek Myth when they…really…aren’t…but really I just want to see these two FERAL AND UNHINGED

[fleshblueberry]

Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

[blamebrampton]

Eurovision 2018 final

And now, 12 hours after the rest of the world, and startlingly unspoiled, I hit the finals! I’ve not been recapping the touristy bits in the ‘postcards’, but if you’re thinking about visiting Lisbon, or Portugal in general, get to it; it’s utterly gorgeous. I’m hoping for somewhere in the top 10 for Jess, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Denmark win. They won’t. It’ll be someone awful, I just know it.

We open with fado music and it is pretty bloody splendid: melodic twanging steel strings and a heart-rending woman’s voice singing a song that is almost certainly of woe but resilience (my Portuguese is terrible). There are no unattractive people in this broadcast, it should be mentioned. Yet another reason to visit!

Another hot fado female vocalist, this time with drummers. She sounds more political, but again, I have no idea. I do know that Portugal is a country that has an amazing tradition of vocalists and narrative music, and I think we are seeing it shown well tonight. I like this a lot better than the usual blather from presenters. Though I like the women, they are admirably quick at moving things along.

And now some local DJs. Look, it was never going to stay glorious. Flags go past. There are many. We are welcomed to the grand final and the crowd goes wild. Hello contestants, I’m thrilled you get a moment in the sun before the horror of the contest descends. They are all smiling and lovely and I hope they all go on to have happy lives. Denmark are actually amusing! Bless their hairy hipster hearts!

You know, I can honestly say that everyone I’ve heard in this final can actually sing and on that basis alone, 2018 is already a good year.

The presenters are back. NCIS is dressed like a Goth prom queen, Blondie is wearing a beaded shower curtain, Saintly is cosplaying a tall Kylie Minogue (I loathe the fact I need to specify Kylies these days) and Little One has come dressed as an entrant from Greece. I actually know all their names now, but they’re longer, so it’s nicknames for me, I’m afraid.

I’m not going to repeat performance notes from the semi finals, but if you’ve missed every other piece of Eurovision commentary, a. Well done! b. What the hell are you doing here? c. I’ll let you know if anything new happens.

Ukraine, Melovin, Under the Ladder. Now I’m not focusing on the madness of the staging, I can mention that he and his backing singers are selling the hell out of this one. I like it a lot better the second time around, and the vocals are tight. It’s still a totally nuts Dracula moment, but if it wins I will not be at all upset.

Spain, Amaia y Alfred, Tu Cancion. Arena full of people holding up their lit phones. Young people singing to each other from opposite sides of the stage. It’s all very sweet. Now they are holding hands. Now they are hugging. Keep it nice, kids, you’ve got two minutes to go. They are lovely, but so wholesome that I feel listening to this song represents 100% of my daily intake of Vitamin C and roughage. Nice climbing crescendos and key change towards the end. Big lights, earnest singing into each other’s faces… this is a song that speaks of carefully studied microphone angles and breath mints. Bless.

Slovenia, Lea Sirk, Hvala, ne! This is the one that stuck with me since I last saw it, but more for the snappiness of the staging and performances than for the song itself. They are enormously charismatic and the choreography is very well put out there. She changes it up tonight and tells them to stop the music and has the audience sing the refrain with her, which I really liked and thought much more successful than the fake cut in the semis, even if the chap in the audience the camera cut to was clearly wondering what the hell was happening and whether he had accidentally eaten the wrong brownies before he headed out tonight. I’m keen on these girls and hope they do well!

Lithuania, Ieva Zasimauskaite, When We’re Old. Sweet whispering song girl is back. She remains sweet and whispery. She and Joanna Newsome would make a lovely duet. Her voice is genuinely delightful, though there is a little more assist in the reverb than she needs: makes it all sound a bit more Jared Leto than is optimal. But I quibble, she is a delight. Her husband comes to join her at the end again and she seems deeply moved. Bodes well for their future.  

Austria, Cesar Sampson, Nobody But You. I resent Cesar’s bad T-shirt more than in the semis, because he is a hot young man and we should be allowed to enjoy him in all his loveliness and that plasticky bit is very distracting. The backing vocals in this track are probably the best in the whole contest, and he has a beautiful voice that I hope to hear more of. In a perfect world, John Legend writes a better version of La La Land in which this chap and his best friend come to LA to pursue their dreams and both succeed without hurting each other. It’s actually a decent song, it just sounds like a lot of other decent songs. But his performance is something very special.

Estonia, Elina Necheyava, La forza. She is lovely, her frock is lovely, her voice is lovely, this song is not going to win. Which is a shame, because I would like to see the ECS back in Tallinn. If they had a European Frock Contest, this would be douze points from everyone.

Norway, Alexander Rybak, That’s How You Write A Song. He is a super chap and I hope he does win Eurovision twice, but if he does it with this song, I will be looking at the countries that vote for it with thinly veiled disdain. This is the sort of song that would have had Paula Abdul dancing with an animated cat in the 1980s. But I will say that it is lovely to have him back so that Nigel Kennedy will finally have to give up any idea that he’s the hot young man with the violin. The crown, which was never really Nigel’s, is clearly Alexander’s.

Portugal, Claudia Pasqoal, O Jardim. Pink hair gets an extra 10 points from me to start with. Sounds like London Grammar, in both tune and delivery, but since I love them, that’s fine. Her frock is a nice wrap-around black number with thigh split. She’s joined on stage by a woman who looks a bit like Kirsten Stewart, and the two of them are in fact much cooler than practically everyone else in the stadium. That was a nice soft song that you would wrap up a big night or start a romance with and I liked it a lot. I want to see it in the top five, but not winning, because it’s too expensive to do this two years in a row!

The presenters make a knowing reference to the queerness of Eurovision and it comes off as an inside joke not an arch piece of commentary, and this is the point at which I accept that I have fallen for their charms and will never be free of this annual horror.

United Kingdom, SuRie, Storm. We’ve done something unusual this year and sent someone good. It won’t help, but it’s a pleasant change. More pink hair, with a sort of Annie Lennox hair and jumpsuit arrangement. I hate to say this, but this song is actually pretty damned good. What the hell? We’re usually awful. The staging is admirably simple and the performance is a cracker, and there is some fuckwit invading the stage to shout something and WELL DONE YOU, YOUNG WOMAN, you held that together amazingly! She is in fact bringing it even more strongly, even though the incident clearly affected her. How amazing is she! ‘Some absolute cockhead’ is the Australian boy commentator’s description of the stage invader and he is 100% on the money.

They skip to the green room with Little One while they deal with the stage invader situation and she is talking to vampire boy from the Ukraine who offers to bite her neck and talks about his personal brand. If he doesn’t have 100,000 followers on Instagram and a YouTube ‘presence’, I will be very surprised.

Back to the show!

Serbia, Sanja Ilic & Balkanika, Nova Deca. This song remains as OTT and epic as in the semis with costumes and wailing mysticism that puts me in mind of nothing so much as one of those epic episodes of Xena that your girlfriends used to trot out in the 90s to talk about when lesbian subtext becomes text. It’s classic Eurovision and if it wins I will be thrilled.

Germany, Michael Schulte, You Let Me Walk Alone. It’s apparently a song to his father, who died when he was young, and it’s got a hell of a dose of the Ed Sheerans, from the hair to the singing style. It’s saved from the annoying side of the Sheerans by the personal message, which comes through strongly. Though it’s a little unfair in the ‘you will never know, because you let me walk this road alone’, unless his father took his own life. Just saying. Exactly the right mix of sentiment and ten-year-old newness that could win, thanks to a very strong performance.

Albania, Eugent Bushpepa, Mall. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this song in the semis and I am still surprised about it now. It’s everything I would usually mock, including a safe 80s chord sequence and handclapping, but it somehow works superbly and he looks a little nervous, yet has an actually superior classic rock voice, instead of the standard ‘thinks is great, is OK’ frontman. I think the dungaree drummer, who has done both of his straps up tonight, has won me over.

France, Madame Monsieur, Mercy. It’s political! And about refugees. And my French isn’t good enough to follow it entirely, but she is all the children, her name is Mercy and she is fleeing war and is alive and she needs our help. It’s actually a cracker of a tune, and the Jean-Paul Gaultier outfits are the classiest of the evening. Far too attractive for this shindig.

Czech Republic, Mikolas Josef, Lie to Me. I think what troubles me most about this song is that I keep expecting Will Smith to appear. Much as in the semis. They are perfectly good, it is just not my cup of tea. Nice little flip at the end, and the dancing is excellent. Bless em.

Denmark, Rasmussen, Higher Ground. I’m putting this out there: I think I want these guys to win. But it’s entirely based on the fact they are singing about pacifist vikings and I have mentally built them up into a rejection of toxic masculinity in favour of human decency and manliness meaning things like facing your fears and having integrity, which I can get behind. If there is a MeToo/Weinstein moment for any of these chaps, I’m coming after them with an axe. I do like a Wailing Medjeval Epic though.

Australia, Jessica Mauboy, We Got Love. Jess is gorgeous and she loves a crowd, which is good because the crowd loves her. Every lovely thing I said about her in the semis remains true. Alas, it also remains true that this song could be better. But it’s grown on me. We may be powerless to bring down the US government, and its lesser evils the UK and Australian governments, but we’ve got love and regular elections, and New Zealand, and it will be OK in the end. She’s a champion and I hope she makes the top five!

Saintly and Blondie are back mocking social media and rightly so.

Now NCIS is eulogising the first winner of the Eurovision Song Contest, Lys Assia, who died at the age of 94 in March. For five seconds. There’s efficient and there’s cold, ladies.

Finland, Saara Aalto, Monsters. This is the other song I want to win, though I have to confess I wouldn’t mind if the UK won, after SuRie’s amazing turn. But Saara’s voice fills the stadium and sails up and down the scale. Still with the Annie Lennox Bondage Backup Dancers, which makes two tributes to Scotland’s finest Oscar winner in the one show. I’m slightly less convinced by the song the second time round, but the performance is great. Her backwards death dive at the end is a cracker!

Bulgaria, Equinox, Bones. This song remains all about the girl’s Heey-yays for me and nothing has changed. It’s another one that is very good, just not for me. Cup of tea time! Good lighting at the end. T2’s Turkish Apple is definitely the right tea for tonight!

Moldova, DoReDoS, My Lucky Day. Kids, I am all for polyamory, but it should be based on mutual communication, not sneaking about. It turns out well for them, though, and it’s a fun song.

Little One is here with the audience and everyone is Very Drunk. I think she is trying to pick up a tall British girl, and I like her even more.

Sweden, Benjamin Ingrosso, Dance You Off. This is a favourite with the punters but not with me. Soz, Ben.

Hungary, AWS, Viszlát Nyár. It’s the lovely Lordi Lite lads and while I respect his vocal cords for surviving the sustained abuse, I am skipping through this one as it’s getting late here and there are hours of judging to go.

Israel, Netta, Toy. The Aussie commentators have mentioned that she would have broken a stage invader and I think this true. She looks as though she would have enjoyed it, too. I feel you, Netta. The chicken bits are a bit distracting, but she sells the hell out of this and it’s bright and bouncy. Another one I won’t mind winning. Also, more pink hair. I was clearly two years ahead of the curve on that one.

The Netherlands, Waylon, Outlaw in ’Em. Apparently, Waylon is cool with people who don’t really like country. Which is good news. I do like country if it’s Johnny Cash or Dolly Parton, but yeah, on this one we’re just going to have to quietly share a beer and talk about something else, Waylon. You’re a good chap and your band is excellent, so if you win I won’t be upset, even if I still don’t like this song. It’s just my taste rather than there being anything objectively bad about it. Hang on: turns out the band are the dancers. They are going off and taking the piss in epic quantities and I like it quite a bit more after that.

Ireland, Ryan O’Shaugnessey, Together. Apparently China cut the broadcast of this one due to the gay backup dancers and Eurovision cut their contract in response. Well done, Eurovision! This song remains sweet and beautifully performed, with the backup dancers really carrying the whole show. But there’s not a lot to it aside from the lovely staging.

Cyprus, Eleni Fouriera, Fuego. Another one I will not be surprised if it wins. Spectacular combination of song and performance, with fabulous backing dancers/singers (again, the best combo set). If Beyonce came to Eurovision in disguise, this would be her performance, and I am reading the whole thing as a tribute to Queen Bey, which is pretty easy given that practically every aspect of it references her. She is nervous as hell at the end, but the performance was stonkingly good.

Italy, Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro, Non me avete fatto niente. Written in response to the bombing in Manchester, this is a strongly serious track from a country that can often be flippant at Eurovision and in the first thirty seconds we see the passionate political engagement that explains the entirety of Italian politics. It’s a strong piece and well performed, including wailing hero notes  towards the end and overlays in the various languages of Europe declaring defiance to terrorism. I think it might be in with a shot.

Presenters have had a costume change. NCIS is Morticia Addams, Blondie is Meryl Streep circa 1988, Saintly is Sophia Loren circa 1968 and Little One has come as a Glomesh handbag. Oh, holy moly, it’s recap time before the votes. We learn that SuRie was invited to perform again and has decided not to. Bless her toughness! I am fast forwarding through this as life is too short.

Blondie’s cleavage is plunging to her belly button and I am just impressed by the amount of double-sided tape holding that outfit together. The interval act is local musicians, who are splendid, but I need to get a few things done while I listen, so you go and download it from the official site. Worth your time!

Another recap, more fast forwarding. Australia’s commentary team are doubling as the royal wedding commentators and I think I might actually catch that on SBS as it would be a bit of a giggle. It’s Australia’s multicultural channel and I love it because it’s full of international films and news, but I have an American friend who refers to it as ‘That channel where your government gives you free soft porn.’ Mate, it’s Swedish film and you just need to expand your horizons!

Blondie is with the audience and she has found some Irish people who are delightful. And now they are doing Portuguese pop culture things that go over my head, and recapping Junior Eurovsion, which is like Senior Eurovision, but with more sedate images and sober contestants. The Junior winner sings a little of last year’s Senior winner, which is apparently a new condition for entry into Lisbon as every man and his dog as been trotting it out. Saintly presenter might be a little drunk, you know.

NCIS and Little One are in the Green Room, introducing Salvador Sobral, last year’s winner, and he’s looking a bit healthier, which is good! Still as fey as ever, but find your schtick and stick with it, I say. Lovely new song, you should download it, too, as I need to put a load of dishes on, so won’t be describing it. Ah, he’s had a heart transplant. Excellent! That is good news!

He’s joined by the legendary Caetano Veloso and they (Caetano for the most part) sing last year’s winning song and it’s quite lovely. Salvador is visibly moved by the whole thing. Where is his sister? Apparently he’s been slagging off some of the other songs and it’s caused an upset, but seriously, Sir Terry Wogan made a career out of that and there are thousands if not millions of us who do it on an amateur basis, so why should he miss out?

Little One has some fans pretending to do some last-minute voting, and she has been the hardest working presenter. I hope that tall British girl she was chatting up earlier has a cold bottle of gin and a big cake for the two of them later tonight, she’s earned it!

Jon Ola Sand says votes are ready to go! Jury votes first.

Ukraine first: 8 The Netherlands, 10 Israel, 12 France.

Azerbaijan, 8 Hungary, 10 Serbia, 12 to Albania.

They are FLYING through this.

Belarus, 8 Norway, 10 Austria, Australia is nowhere at the moment, 12 to Cyprus!

San Marino, 8 Sweden, 10 Germany, 12 to Israel. He’s chattier than the others.

The Netherlands, 8 Sweden, 10 Austria, 12 Germany.

FYR Macedonia, 8 Serbia, 10 Cyprus, 12 ESTONIA! YAY

Malta, 8 France, 10 Italy, 12 Cyprus, which is starting to pull ahead. Australia still nowhere.

Georgia, 8 Austria, 10 Estonia, 12 Sweden, who take the lead. Meh.

Spain 8 Austria, 10, Israel, 12 Cyprus. UK still on 0, which is for once entirely unfair.

Austria, 8 Sweden, 10 Germany, 12 Israel, who pop in front. It’s a big battle tonight!

Denmark, 8 Austria, 10 Australia, THANK YOU! 12 to Germany.

UK, 8 Bulgaria, 10 Israel, She cracks onto Jon Ola and I respect that, 12 Austria. Not a sausage to Oz, you bastards.

Sweden, 8 Australia, 10 Austria, 12 Cyprus.

Latvia, 8 Estonia, 10 France, 12 Sweden.

Albania, 8 Bulgaria, 10 Cyprus, 12 Italy!

Croatia, 8 Moldova, 10 Israel, 12 Lithuania. The UK has 4, which is not enough, but there we go.

Ireland, 8 Germany, 10 Bulgaria, 12 Cyprus. Nothing for Oz. I’m reading this as a protest against Peter Dutton’s appalling treatment of refugees.

Romania, 8 The Netherlands, 10 Spain, 12 Austria.

Czech Republic, 8 Sweden, 10 Ireland (nice!), 12 Israel.

Iceland 8 Israel, 10 Albania, 12 Austria. Denmark is down on 7, alas.

Moldova 8 Bulgaria, 10 Israel, 12 Estonia!

Belgium, 8 Sweden, 10 The Netherlands, 12 Austria, which is terrific given how good his voice is!

Norway, 8 Austria, 10 Sweden, 12 Germany.

France, 8 Germany, 10 Australia, Merci!, 12 Israel. They and Austria are creeping ahead.

Italy, 8 Denmark, 10 Germany, 12 Norway.

Australia, 8 Estonia, 10 Germany, and Ricardo Gonzales’s Aussie Portuguese accent is a cracker. 12 to Sweden and FUCK YOU ALL the Australian jury. This is how we get Turnbull and Dutton.

Estonia, 8 Cyprus, 10 Lithuania, 12 Austria.

Serbia, 8 Italy, 10 Germany, 12 Sweden.

Cyprus, 8 Italy, 10 Moldova, 12 Sweden and you are all clearly drunk. The jury votes are all over the shop.

Armenia, 8 Israel, 10 Moldova, 12 Sweden.

Bulgaria, 8 Czech Republic, 10 Lithuania, 12 Austria.

Greece, 8 Sweden, 10 Moldova, 12 Cyprus. I typed that 30 seconds before she said it. No need for correction.

Hungary, 8 Austria, 10 Albania, 12 Denmark! YAY! The Vikings go off! They are chuffed.

Montenegro, 8 Moldova, 10 Albania, 12 Serbia. Big surprise!

Germany, 8 Ireland, 10 Austria, 12 Sweden because they are all drunk. But Austria is still ahead!

Finland, 8 Sweden, 1o Bulgaria, 12 Israel.

Russia, 8 Israel, 10 Sweden, 12 Moldova; look, they were fun.

Switzerland, 8 Lithuania, 10 Estonia, 12 Germany.

Israel, 8 UK THANKS, 10 Sweden, 12 Austria.

Poland, 8 The Netherlands, 10 Germany, 12 Austria.

Lithuania, 8 Sweden, 10 France, 12 Austria.

Slovenia, 8 Cyprus, 10 Austria, 12 Sweden.

Portugal, 8 Austria, 10 Albania, 12 ESTONIA! Oh, Portugal, you are so delightfully odd. I love you guys.

That’s it for juries, but we have the popular votes to go. Australia currently in 12th, Denmark and UK nowhere, which is cruel on both counts. Austria in first place, which I think is down to a great performance. Sweden second, probs down to the drink. The Israel song is third, which I think will go up with the popular vote.

Jon Ola Sand is back. He says the public votes are exciting. Here we go! They are reading them out from lowest to highest.

9 to Australia. Fuck the lot of you. Unless that’s a protest against Australian refugee policy and black deaths in custody, in which case, fair enough. 18 to Portugal and Spain 21 Sweden YES! Good! Sorry, I mean, Oh well. 23 Slovenia 23 Finland Rude. Should have been more. 25 UK Very rude! Should have been lots more! 32 The Netherlands 58 Albania A joke. The people are morons. 59 France Ripped off. 62 Ireland 65 Hungary 66 Bulgaria 71 Austria NO!!!! WOE!! Sorry, mate. You were triff. 75 Serbia Should have been more. 84 Norway 91 Lithuania 102 Estonia 115 Moldova 119 Ukraine Fair, they deserved some points for that show. 136 Germany Surprised it wasn’t more, he’s rather good. 180 Denmark I’m good with that one. They are stoked. 215 Czech Republic 249 Italy and they are also thrilled. 253 Cyprus I think she is both heartbroken at not winning and thrilled at not bankrupting a Cypriot TV station with the cost. ISRAEL HAS WON! (though I missed how many popular points they got. More than 253)

(This will be a tiny bit awkward if the whole Iran war thing kicks off. Maybe this will be the kick up the bum that Netanyahu needs to pull his head in. I would very much like my friends in Israel to have fewer things to worry about, so not starting wars seems like an excellent idea.)

Netta is thrilled, the ladies are a little drunk, Jessica Mauboy has snuck off to party with the Irish mob and fingers crossed Mr Austria’s phone is already running hot with people who want to put that glorious voice with better songs. But keep the backing singers. They were ace. Netta sings us out and we are DONE for another year. Goodnight, Eurovision. Why can’t I quit you?

[crypt-addict]

EXCLUSIVE: Review of the ‘Demonstration (I)’ EP by CHURCHGATE.

**This is a direct copy of last weeks review of the pre-single in support of this EP - along with the addition of the reviews of the 3 new tracks; in order to review the Extended Play in full. Just to clear up any confusion caused**

Wow? Who would have thought the day would come where i…an unimportant reviewer in the depths of tumblrs’ half-arsed pastel, goth and alternative dungeons would have the chance to exclusively preview and review such a spectacular release?! I have tried my hand at reviewing many mainstream albums before, with pretty hit and miss responses; but i assure you - this is one review you definitely need to read through and listen to the end product, because by GOD you need CHURCHGATE in your life, like NOW.

The duo, consisting of Murdo and Jessie, is arguably, one of the best independent queer and alternative/dark synth bands to come out of 2017 so far, and in my opinion, the best. Raining from two very different corners of the country, with a 100 mile journey between them - this is one of the best musical outcomes of a long distance friendship i have seen, in my good decade of observing the DIY and alternative scenes. Mixing earworm guitar and synth leads, with haunting ghostly and scream-like vocals - which seep into your bones and out of your every nerve - shivering your senses and leaving you hungry to press the repeat button, like a hit of the best drug you have encountered; CHURCHGATE are definitely a force to be reckoned with. Don’t sleep on this release, because these guys are going to be big, sooner than you might think! Without any further ado, lets get into the track by track review:

–TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW–

WEEPING SONG: Beginning with sharp, and harsh guitar strikes, with a catchy but off-putting (in the best kind of way) synth structure soon jumping in, pulsating and enrapturing you like a siren of the post-goth era, Weeping Song is the début single everybody wishes they could put together. Reminiscent of some fucked up, euphoric musical smoothie, consisting of Alice Deejay’s ‘Better Off Alone’ and CRIM3S’ ‘BREED’ - with a pinch of Cocteau Twins; CHURCHGATE have clearly redefined the dark electro genre as we know it.

No ounce of emotion is spared as you focus onto each personal and relatable lyric, from “broken bone, forgotten home” to “still holding hands, we are the weeping” - it’s obvious just how much this song hits home, for me at least. I don’t know about anyone else but what captivates me with music is being able to have a sense of relation with the artist who wrote the lyrics, and with such a powerful tone its clear to see how much effort went into not just the complexity of the lyrics, but the instrumental- which in itself has countless layers of instruments, further drawing out emotion.

I don’t quite know how to say it in words, without sounding like a psycho - but music really does sometimes have the ultimate power to make you ‘feel’ sadness but also strength, the strength of ‘keeping-on-keeping-on’ and regardless of what shit life throws at you, carrying on with some façade of happiness, which eventually turns into true overcoming of sadness, and a real sense of happiness after all. Few songs manage to draw it out, but those that do leave a lasting memory on your heart and in your head. CHURCHGATE managed to reach that flag-post in their first track; something many bands can’t achieve til their final years together, or never at all.

My favourite thing about the lyrics is that they are relatable ina  sense that, each verse could be taken with a variety of definitions. For example, my stand out lyric is perhaps one of the verses which could most definitely be interpreted into many different scenario’s - “pierce the night, with our light // held you down, without a fight”. For me the line suggests that whomever the song’s point of view is about, has overcame some trouble, and the light is suggestive of the dark times being over, but the struggle was hard, given that whatever held them back was so easy to give in to. With genre’s constantly moving on in terms of musicality and vocal techniques; it is a constant struggle to have your own sense of uniqueness within the community - but this track has no trouble finding its own benchmark within a variety of genre’s - and for that reason alone, is why i find myself so hexed whilst listening to it.

Musically, the song has a few key ‘changes’ in structure - around the half way point, the guitars become more prominent for a while, before becoming engulfed, but not overshadowed by the synths once more. A synth breakdown follows, where more layers gradually gravitate over the main melody until the bridge - where the guitars become highlighted once more. Leaving no stone unturned, the outro within itself, manages to give you one last shiver - refraining the synth melody that kicked in initially after the intro by itself, before submitting itself into a sea of white noise glory. I cannot do anything but recommend this track to anybody - regardless of their strict genre rules or tastes in music, i have all hope and trust that this track will go far. I’m calling it right now! And for that, this track deserves no less than a 10/10.

BELLS RING: Channeling a twisted take on the original dream pop track, originally by Mazzy Star - this cover is sickeningly sweet, in the strangest of ways. With Murdo’s aggressive, almost demonic mumbling of the lyrics, eerily distorted synth accompanies and Jessie channelling 80′s rock with his guitar leads - this is nothing short of a dark synth-wave take on a once serenading track.

Lines such as “Bells ring into the night, Sounds like a mistress on a rainy night” have a more mellow mumble, whereas the chorus; bearing lyrics such as “Nobody wants to know your reason why” resonate a creepier, more mischievous tone. All the while between the glorious guitar, short bursts of clashing synths give a sense of uneasiness, followed by a warm nostalgic feeling once more.

All in all, this cover is a gem amongst many covers of the song a quick YouTube search can find you. And in comparison to other artists who may decide to play it safe when using a cover as a b-side, CHURCHGATE went far, far, FAR from the ‘norm’ partially by choosing such a track that was little known to begin with, and also by conjuring up such a daring, whimsical and unique take on the track - vocals in particular. 9.7/10

PURE: Portraying a guitar lead reminiscent of oldschool college punk and rock works, pure is one of the softest and most mellow tracks on the EP - or so you thought...As the drums and synths drop into full on anarchy not long after the relaxing almost introduction.

Lyrics such as “I’m pure for you” and “The end has never been quite so sweet” cannot help but trigger a sense of abandonment of a relationship, with the one side feeling so much emotion for the other, whom has nothing quite left to give. Pure is to me, a great representation of not feeling good enough for somebody - and paired with the wholesome instrumental track makes for a lowkey banger if i’ve ever heard one! 8.9/10

FLORAL INTERLUDE: The perfect pairing of uneasy synth randomness and beautiful guitar riffs has the outcome of floral interlude. The shortest track on the album, and serving as a sickly sweet intro of sorts to the next track, i have never been so in love with an interlude in my life! I usually have the opinion that they’re pointless little half-afterthoughts to an album, but as of late, i really do believe they can add a lot to the theming and atmosphere of a release. In this case; that is ESPECIALLY the case!

It kinda reminds me of an old classic, yet i can’t put my finger on anything in my mind. It feels so nostalgic to my childhood, but i have no idea why or what to reference it to and i’m unsure whether to be creeped out or amazed by that - so i’m just gonna go ahead and say i’m shook instead!

Lyrically, the track is quite dark and beautiful - referring to being sprawled across a bed of dying leaves and’fleurs’ spouting from one eyes. The lyrics spread across your ears like jam but in the thought of them, after listening twice or three times, that’s kinda a scary thing to happen to someone?! Eitherway i’m so impressed with this interlude, and will scream from the rooftops of its greatness as i bask in this prickly rose garden it layed out before me; or should i say it encouraged to grow out my iris’ hahah. 9.9/10

PRECIOUS THING: Well, where do i start? We learnt from Bells Ring that CHURCHGATE don’t do conventional and fitting in when it comes to covering iconic tracks! In this instance they put their own spin on possibly one of the best punk rock/glam anthems to come out of the 80′s.

Keeping the guitars relatively similar, but possibly harsher - it is the vocals that completely suck you into this cover. Insturmentally, the track seems to be like a mashup of the original ‘precious things’ with the total cliché of american dream aesthetics and sounds, whereas Murdo’s vocals seem to malform into a gorgeously creepy, double-angst-raged embodiment of Joan Jett, screaming out the obviously sexual intended lyrics - such as “I will hold you down” and “You are my precious thing, as long as you remain beneath me”.

I didnt really know if 80′s punk could ever be topped, and i say this with no disrespect to the greats who coined the genre - BUT FUCK, CHURCHGATE REALLY CAN DOMINATE ANY GENRE AND TURN IT INTO A GOTH ROCK, SYNTH GLAZED, WITCH HOUSE, TRAP DOUBLE-DIPPED EXTRAVAGANZA! If you don’t enjoy this track are you really as punk as you think? 9.4/10

*TOTAL RATING: 9.9/10*

Overall, i see big things happening for these guys. They definitely have their heads screwed on, and their ideas mounted together in order to define themselves within the already diverse musical playing field. With a benign exterior, and an interior almost like being hit in the face with a candy-covered machete; i genuinely have nothing bad to say about this release! Now please excuse me whilst i drown in my tears at how emotional i feel after listening on repeat for days, hahah.

Always remember to support the artist! - you can get your very own copy of Demonstration (I) via churchgates’ bandcamp page ❤