#enigmaofiname

[enigmaofiname]

My bitch called me fat and I’m kinda hurt.

I mean my weight has always been a big issue for me and I know I’m gaining weight. I bihh been looking for work, dipping into her savings, not motivated by my surroundings, ya know a lil depressed.

I tell myself to never hit 200lbs. I I never do. But I’m getting close. Like I’m single digits away type of close.. I been telling myself it’s time to start working out, but the lack of motivation that I have just takes the fuck over..

Hearing that was a wake up call frfr.. totally found motivation. I hate to sound all shallow like this but I refuse to be called fat.

Crazy thing is at the same time she was calling me fat, my brothers weight bench punching bag and other exercise things were being delivered..

Yeah I’m totally motivated now.. I was gonna start January 1st, but why weight that long..

[enigmaofiname]

I hear this from every stranger I meet. 🙂

[enigmaofiname]

I feel like..

No, I KNOW people use me. And I let them. I mean I know they’re using me, but In actuality, I’m just being the good hearted person I am.

I’m tired of bein bamboozled by mother fuckas that I feel are close af too me.. over being taken advantage of,and definitely over having to explain myself.

This year taught me l, you really can’t give a fuck about what no body say.. like I be thinking Idgaf, but I do.. and that’s where I got my self fucked yo.

[enigmaofiname]

[enigmaofiname]

I'm just trying to get back to sleep

[enigmaofiname]

Selfish or Selfless

You ever just thought that maybe this was all you are good for. Maybe this was your purpose in life and now it’s over.

I think my purpose here in this lifetime is to make those I meet happy and smile and create good energies. Thats all I see in myself.

It’s like the opportunities that I put in my path to use those skills of making people smile and happy never seem to be right.

I know I would be missed but maybe that’s my purpose in this world. To be missed and have people think of all the times that I made them laugh and just remember all the good that I have done. To remember that you just have to keep smiling and keep going forward.

But by thinking the thoughts that in thinking, I would be a whole hypocrite out here. Saying people should remember me for the happiness and the drive that I gave them to keep going. And I can’t even keep going and moving forward my damn self..

[enigmaofiname]

I asked a friend, at least I think of him as a friend, what I am good at. I don't know myself well enough to answer this question so I ask people around me. And he says, "You are good at deceiving people." Wtf

[enigmaofiname]

👾

Malcolm X