#english is not my native language so i'm sorry for any mistakes or poor choice of words

[iaskfornothingbutdivine]

there's this episode from my childhood that i think about once in a while

i've been playing basketball from 8 to 14 years old. i really loved it. i lived it. all my friends were also my teammates. i dreamed about becoming a professional sportswoman, about playing in wnba when i grow up. and i was pretty good at it too! i won't even hesitate to say that i was one of the best players in our team.

but then the puberty hit. the hair started growing on my armpits and my legs. and i think i didn't even notice at first how it affected me as a player.

the thing is, when you throw the ball into the basket you need to make sure that your arm is pointing straight up and that you hold it like this for some time even after the throw is done. my technique started worsening as i was unconsciously pulling down my hand too soon in an attempt not to reveal my armpits. when throwing, my arm looked more like a question mark when it should've been be all straightened. i started missing the basket all the time. i couldn't score from the easiest positions. our coach commented on that over and over again but i just knew i couldn't do it. i could not reveal my armpits.

mind you, it was an all girls team and our couch was female but i still felt really isolated in my anxiety. eventually, my mother approached me and told me that the coach talked to her about being concerned with all this. that she supposed it had to do with my armpit hair so maybe my mother should consider shaving it with me. and so my mother offered me to shave, to which i happily agreed.

after that, my technique improved almost immediately. i started scoring and became one of the best players again. everything came back to normal.

i left basketball after some time due to other reasons but this episode still strikes me sometimes. how i was ready to give up on my greatest passion of the time due to shame and anxiety i felt because of my armpit hair. how there was no better communication with my coach, my mother or even my fellow teammates many of whom were also going through puberty then. how the only solution was shaving.

i'm so frustrated every time i think about this.

[sopaprimordialy]

Imho, you ignored a lot of things to pull that analysis together, things that are not ignorable.

She did not SA'd him, she seduced him, those are 2 different things. He held literally all the power in this situation: financially, he was older, presumably more stable mentally (I mean, she states she is being abused by her husband in the first place. I'm not going to use IRL facts I know for this analysis, as it is fair since you made it very clear it's about the musical).

Anyway, ignoring these things automatically makes your view biased. He regrets his actions, and Eliza forgives him, sure, but at the time that happened? He could have said no. He could have NOT cheated on his wife, and he knows that. Can we not twist the situation to make the man a poor soul seduced by evil woman who could have not possibly made another choice?

Guilt and regret can come from a lot of places. He, of course, knew what he was doing was wrong and could potentially ruin his career (well, considering that he is a man and men tend to not be held accountable for this kind of thing oftentimes, mayhaps no, but contextually in some places adultery was fucking illegal so... yeah), his marriage, and life in general. It became a pastime, didn't it? He only did something to stop when he was busted by the woman's husband.

In this specific part, ironically, you could have more arguments abt irl, bcs in his biography — the one Lin initially read to have this idea — is stated that she kept trying to emotionally manipulate him into continuing, most likely out of pure despair, Maria had a shitty life... she married too soon with a scumbag that used her to extort Hamilton.

Back to the musical, however, we don't get a glimpse of this. He only says he was a month into this "endeavor" when he received a letter, and THEN he was willing to end the affair and desperate about the consequences of *his own goddamn actions*. And even in THIS situation, he made the CONSCIENT choice of staying with her, this time actually saying the word "yes"

I view this lack of the word throughout the song not as a hint of lack of consent, but rather him trying to deny the fact that this whole thing was his fault. What he did to Eliza was entirely his fault, not Maria's, she was not the one that married her and swore fidelity. You argue that guilt is not commonly expressed by cheaters. I disagree, but even if we consider this, subterfuges to justify their actions *are*, that's what he's doing when he blames her mouth or body on his.

He thought with the lower head, as we say here, (made some research and found out in English you say "little head" instead, how amusing /pos) and tried to compensate it dening the fact that he, indeed, said yes to the whole thing.

I am sorry for you being a victim of something as horrible as SA. I don't know you or what happened to you, but I genuinely wish you are safe now, full of people that support you around you, and that whoever did this to you is having a really bad life, but I honestly don't think this is the case for Hamilton.

All that said, this is only my opinion. Please don't view this as a tentative to invalidate your opinion, or worse, your experience. It is not. I just think we can all benefit from debating, especially when it involves serious subjects that affect our day to day lifes. If I made any mistake, or if something isn't clear, please do correct me, I don't pretend to be perfect in a language that isn't mine, and even in our native languages sometimes things go misinterpreted, right? Have a nice day/night, and I wish you the best 🫶🏽

TW!!

I know it’s not how it happened in real life, but exclusive to the canon of Hamilton and pretending nothing else happened and that it’s not biased. Say No To This is an SA song.

NOW HEAR ME OUT

I do NOT care that Maria was younger than him, first of all perpetrators come in all ages.

Second of all I don’t care that Maria was put up to it by James!

In the musical, Alexander does not actually ever say yes to Maria until the LAST FEW LINES. I’m aware that it’s referenced that they continue to do this, so my point is more about the first time. Alex does not say yes ONCE. He does not want to cheat on Eliza at first and he simply just does not know how he’s supposed to say no in that situation. (Personally, that hit me hard as a victim.)

I do believe that the rest of the times were consensual but the point begins that their relationship starts and is therefore built off of Maria assaulting him. So therefore I don’t think Alexander (in the musical) should be held entirely at fault for this. He was outright forced the first time and I’m sure there was pressure to say yes the rest of the time. Granted he did keep going back and admits to becoming a past time.

My final point of evidence? Guilt. The way they generally portray his mood at the end of the sentence. Cheaters do not feel that kind of guilt. He is generally depicted as numb or seconds away from tears and that is NOT the reaction that would be provoked from cheating. Maybe you feel guilty, yes, but it’s more of an “oh my gosh I messed up” not an in tears just at the thought of those interactions. Also at the end, when he’s talking to Eliza is It’s Quiet Uptown, he says he would literally trade his life for Phillips because Eliza would be happier. He is very aware of how he’s hurt Eliza in a way that most cheaters I’ve heard of just can’t seem to comprehend, leading me to believe that his self awareness is due to some guilt he feels that because of this he doesn’t deserve to be alive for hurting Eliza, not realizing that he is a victim in this situation and desperately trying to get that point across to her.

Again, IRL? Alexander is at fault. He agreed to cheat on Eliza and continued to do so. But it’s different in the musical. Mostly due to the way Lin wrote Alex to be more of a self insert and possibly due to the musical being from Eliza’s perspective. Still my point stands that this is the way the scandal is portrayed and therefore I believe that Alexander Hamilton (FROM THE MUSICAL) is male SA representation.

(My god that got long, my bad guys 🤷‍♂️)

.

[dalishious]

Hi! Sorry to bother but I have a question. I played DA2 twice, so maybe I've missed smth. Also, sorry if it was asked before. I really don't get why Isabela and Anders are being treated so differently. I'm pretty sure number of people that died from Qunari attack were similar to those died in the chantry boom. But if Isabela comes back everyone praises her. With Anders - none of companions agreed or merely understood his actions. 1/2

2/2 Moreover, Isabela's stealing that book was selfish act, even though her life depended on it. Anders did not blew up chantry for himself, he was ready to die for that. And people still give him shit. Is this simply poor writing from Bioware or I'm missing smth? Also I apologize for any mistakes since English is not my native language. Thank you!

Oh man, Isabela gets way more shit than I think you realize. Maybe not as much here on Tumblr but by fans elsewhere. It’s like one of the go-to things from people complaining about her, second only to slutshaming her.

But regardless to answer your question, I think it has at least a little to do with how the game(s) themselves address Anders’ actions vs. Isabela’s. Like for example, in DA:I people talk a lot about how terrible and evil Anders is, and even a Hawke who has the Keep choice of approving of him speaks negatively. But what Isabela did is never really addressed much after it happened.