DUNGEONS AND DIRECTORATES
Entry 1: HELLO? CAN I SPEAK WITH YOUR MANAGER?
(Profile pic by Vitaly S. Alexius)
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The air was bitingly cold, as usual. I struggled to run through the snow. Just a moment ago, I had caught sight of Seven entering an old office building. I didn't know where my other 'compatriots' were, but nevermind them. I had to reach Seven!
Zee had just stepped into the manager's office when I reached the building. I clung to the doorway, struggling to catch my breath.
"Capt- I mean, Seven!" I corrected myself, "I must speak with you! Immediately!"
"IF YOU NEED SOMETHING, ASK MY ASSISTANT!" Seven called from the office before slamming the door shut.
To the side, two green lenses slid into view. Pilot was behind a desk, typing rapidly on a keyboard while somehow balancing three phones against his head.
"Y-"
"OOOOOOOONE MOMENT!" Pilot shouted, before pushing a button on one of the old phone receivers, then frantically scribbling something on a piece of paper, all while STILL tapping away at the keyboard.
"This is-"
"SHHH!" Pilot held up a finger, "Uhuh? Mhm?" He spoke into one of the phones, "Sorry, I'm NOT INTERVESTED!" He slammed a different one back onto the reciever. "Your Call is Important to Us, Please Hold." He spoke with a nigh perfect American accent into the third.
This was ridiculous. Why was I waiting on him? I would try to talk to Seven myself, but I had no doubt that zee's lackey would be ordered to manhandle me. He might possibly even throw me out the window. Sure, we were on the ground floor, but broken glass is dangerous! And I didn't want to be thrown.
"Wut are youuu HERE for?" Pilot finally asked, waggling a finger at me.
"I must speak with Seven!"
"Zee's most divine, opulent excellency is busy. Have a nice day!" Pilot waved me off.
"What?! Seven is not busy!" I argued across desk.
"Bup-bup-bup!" Pilot silenced me as he picked one of the phones back up. He then proceeded to go into a long sales pitch for trash can lids as an effective and cheap pie-tin alternative.
I stamped my foot in anger. I HAD to speak with Seven... But it seemed I would first need to distract zeer contemptible second-in-command.
"Pilot!" I shouted, and the man went dead-still. He slowly, eerily turned his head to look at me. I realized that I had gotten ahead of myself. I had no lie prepared.
"There's, ah..."
The green goggles were unwavering, bug-like... There was no telling what went on behind them.
"There's a fire!" I lied, "And all the, ah...puppies and kitties in the building are going to be burned down! Unless you save them!"
Pilot turned to look out the giant, broken glass windows.
"I sees no fire." He muttered.
"It's, ah..." Damnit! This is when having Snippy around would have come in handy. I was loathe to admit it, but that man was much better at improv than I.
"I'll be right back." I left.
___
"PILOT!" I shouted, "There's the fire!" I pointed at the building in view which now had smoke pouring from it's windows.
"Oh noes!!!" Pilot lept up from his seat.
"Yes! There are baby cats and dogs in there! They need your help!" I goaded him on.
"I'll save those cool cats from their melty demise!" Pilot shouted as he lept over the desk in one swift movement, then began to sprint towards the burning building at a frightening pace.
Seeing how quick he was made me think twice about my plan- but no! I had to act now! I steeled myself and marched through the office door.
"Seven!" I called.
"AH, ENGIE!" Seven responded from where zee was reclined in a chair, legs resting on the manager's desk, "HOW GOES PROJECT 'TURN ZEE MOON INTO AN INSIDE-OUT DONUT'?"
"What? I don't know what you're talking about. Now listen to me!" I pulled out a map and held it up, "I have uncovered something dreadful!"
"OHO?" Seven replied interestedly from zeer chair.
I pointed at the map,
"The recent gravitational anomaly caused pieces of the dead zone to fall into the city," I tapped one spot highlighted in yellow, "We are here," I circled the multiple purple spots on the map, "And these are the misplaced deadzones I have discovered!" (-and some that Snippy had reported, but that was extraneous info)
"We must leave this part of the city before we get boxed in by dead zones!" I finished.
"HMMMM." Seven arched zee's fingers, leaning forward in zeer seat, "AN INTRIGUING PROPOSAL."
I lowered the map, anxiously. There was no doubt in my mind that we would all perish if we were trapped by the deadzones... Even if Seven's luck were to extend to those near zee, there was no telling what would happen if we got separated -and that had been happening a lot as of late.
"OKAY!" Seven finally announced. I let out the breath I was holding.
"HOWEVER!" Zee stood up and gingerly took the map from me, "WE MUST FIRST CHART A COURSE! AND I KNOW JUST HOW TO DO IT..."
From above the top edge of the map, purple lenses peered at me, piercing like needles into the very fabric of my being.
"...AND YOU ARE GOING TO HELP :) "
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