#energy for art has been weak due to college…

[kalopseance]

im bored!!!

[cuetcoaching]

What Makes CUET Online Coaching So Effective?

The Common University Entrance Test (CUET) is an all-India level entrance examination organized by the National Testing Agency (NTA) for undergraduate admissions into various universities and colleges across India. However, due to the current pandemic situation, traditional classroom teaching has been disrupted, and online learning has become the new norm. In this regard, CUET has taken a remarkable step by introducing online coaching for its students. In this blog post, we will discuss what makes CUET online coaching so effective.

1) Highly Qualified and Experienced Faculty:

One of the key factors that make CUET online coaching effective is its highly qualified and experienced faculty. The university has a team of dedicated professors who are experts in their respective fields. They have years of experience in teaching and have a deep understanding of the subject matter. With their guidance and support, students can get a better understanding of complex topics and clear their doubts in real-time.

2) Interactive Learning Environment:

CUET online coaching provides students with an interactive learning environment. The online classes are conducted through video conferencing tools, which allow students to interact with their teachers and classmates in real-time. This helps in creating a classroom-like atmosphere, which is essential for effective learning. Students can ask questions, participate in discussions, and get instant feedback from their teachers, making the learning process more engaging and interactive.

3) Flexibility and Convenience:

One of the major advantages of CUET online coaching is its flexibility and convenience. Students can access the online classes from the comfort of their homes, eliminating the need to travel to the university. This saves time and energy, which can be utilized for self-study and revision. Moreover, the online classes are recorded, and students can access them at any time, making it easier for them to revise the concepts before exams.

4) Personalized Attention:

In a traditional classroom setup, it is challenging for teachers to give personalized attention to each student. However, with CUET online coaching, this problem is solved. The online classes have a limited number of students, which allows teachers to give individual attention to each student. They can identify the strengths and weaknesses of each student and provide personalized guidance to help them improve.

Also Read: Best IPM Coaching in Bhopal

5) Advanced Technology:

CUET online coaching uses advanced technology to deliver high-quality education to its students. The university has invested in state-of-the-art equipment and software to ensure a smooth and seamless online learning experience. The online classes are conducted on a user-friendly platform, which makes it easier for students to navigate and access.

[dusmoros]

❝  Beauty is akin to fire,  it will devour all within its path,  and leave behind not but scorched earth and tragedy.  It’s a shitshow,  honestly.  ❞

Helen,  Helen,  Helen,  they sing her name with love,  lust,  and despair.  Praising her beauty as she appears all over magicam,  magazine ads,  commercials,  and on the runway.  She is a woman who has been dubbed  ‘ the face that launched a thousand brands ’,  ‘ the modern Aphrodite ’,  and  ‘ the true face of beauty ’.  But Helen,  Helen remains a most mysterious,  and private person,  and is nearly impossible to get a hold of,  with her agency holding tight to her private information.

Name  ;  Helen ( Ἑλένη  ) Alias  ;  Helene .  Helena EPITHETS  :  Beautiful Helen . Queen of [ REDACTED ] . Born of or Daughter of Jupiter . Daughter of Retribution . Goddess of Fertility,  Beauty,  and Warfare .  Curriculum  ;  Preforming Arts,  temporarily Birthday  ;  Between May 21st and June 21st  ( Gemini ) Age  ;  ageless,  entirely unknown due to her godhood.  physically in her mid to late 30s. Species  ;  Cthonic Titan Affiliation  ;  Haus Despoena,  a highly provocative,  highly exclusive modeling agency Height  ;  185 cm Three Sizes  ;  97 / 60 /97 Homeland  ;  Island of Woe / Lamentation Hobbies  ;  watching vintage horror movies Favorite Food  ;  melas zomos / black broth

                     THEY call her the modern day Venus or Aphrodite,  the most beautiful woman in all the world,  who make men weak in the knees and cause women to froth at the mouth with jealousy and rage.  They call her the woman who could start a war just because of her face.  And they,  whoever they are,  aren’t wrong per se.  History,  after all,  does have a way of repeating itself.  But Helen is so much more than her beauty,  she’s more than the face of Haus Despoena,  the modeling agency that holds a grip on haute couture runways and has models constantly booked by Tenebres to model their coveted shoes.

She is  ... 

Well,  she is a woman who owns two house, and a flat that she barely stays at.  She is a women with three big dogs she loves to death.  She is a woman with more designer clothing than she cares about,  and would gladly just dump on the shoulders of random friends or family.  She is a woman who would rather stuff her face with greasy burgers and fries than eat a salad.

She is a woman who has lost her golden hair to her mother’s curse.  A woman who dreams of the screams of dying men,  women and children.  A woman who has never truly recovered from each abduction,  each forced marriage,  each war.

Helen is the daughter of a titan and god,  who was cursed with godly beauty,  and golden ichor instead of blood.  Who will never scar,  who needs no upkeep to make herself eternally beautiful.  Who would rather be forgotten by time,  then be haunted forever by this curse.  But immortality is an ugly,  ugly curse,  and until she is allowed to rest,  she must walk the earth.

But for some reason or another,  she is allowed to work,  however temporarily,  at Night Raven College,  as a preforming arts teacher.  A publicity stunt,  perhaps?  Or some charity,  but either way,  the world renown model is willing to give her time and energy to a bunch of rambunctious youths.

[kawaii-harrys]

MAYBE HE HATES ME

Word: 2k+

Synopsis : Your particularly rude neighbor takes an interest in your friend.

TW : None, just that it gets shitty

______

“KEEP YOUR CAT IN CHECK!”, was the first post-it on your door from an angry neighbor after Small Tinkle managed to scratch the neighbor’s door.

“STOP THE FIRE ALARM”, was the second post-it on your door after you had accidentally managed to set the fire alarm.

And since then, there was silence. Although, the smell of the luxurious cooked meal would waft around the hallways at times and you could hear the clattering of crockery too. You had seen him, once. Once when you had to be stuck in the elevator with him after having a shopping spree. He looked like he hated you. After all, the whole time, he did not look at your side, even once and ignored your presence altogether.

Caitlyn was a good friend of yours. To be said, she was the one who listened to you at times like this. She bothered herself with your business and you couldn’t ask for more.

You could easily admit, you were not even near as lucky as Caitlyn when it came to guys. In a room full of people, if someone like Harry had to walk in, he would easily choose Caitlyn, while you would be left behind in the shadows.

She was kind, beautiful, cheerful, and without a second nature. When it came to studies, she was super intelligent. School, music, dance, cutlery, martial arts, and love, she was good in everything. While you could find nothing good about yourself, she was a walking prodigy. You did feel self-conscious when you were next to her. People who you assumed hated you, were kind to her. You didn’t feel like you belonged by your side.

So, today, you were in the cafe you both always met, all alone. You thought it was fair for her since she was stuck with you ever since college started. You even thought the chances of her getting a guy had gone low since she was stuck with you.

When your phone rang, you jumped a bit at the sound. It was Caitlyn.

“Hello?”, you asked, wondering if everything was okay.

“Are you at the same cafe as always?”, she asked through the phone.

“Yeah, is everything okay?”, you asked.

“Is it okay if I bring over the guy I have been seeing for a few days? I want him to meet you”, she sighed at the other end.

You were in a frenzy mode, though. Your hair was all over the place and your skin was blotchy. It wasn’t like you had put in an effort for your looks like Caitlyn did. You were in a gray shirt with mud brown jeans and you wondered if the guy would leave Caitlyn because she had a friend like you.

“I--I mean, if you feel comfortable enough”, you said, knowing there was nothing you could do.

“Alright, we are nearby so we will drop-in in 5 minutes”, she said hanging up the phone. Your glasses were getting foggy due to the steam of the coffee nearer to your face.

You didn’t really feel confident in yourself. Black braided hair, purple rimmed glasses, a copy of a country-themed book by your side, and coffee that looked near beige due to the amount of sugar you used.

Would her boyfriend really like you?

It didn’t matter though. It was their thing.

When the bell at the door chimed, you looked up to see the fair-skinned, blonde, navy blue-eyed girl, that you had always adored and then, there was the guy who lived next door to you.

In a minute both of them approached you, Caitlyn with her big smile and him with just a small one. But when he looked at you, you wondered if he even recognized you.

“Hey Y/n, this is Harry. And Harry, this is Y/n, the most important person in my life”, she said, giving you a big hug.

“Y/n? Aren’t you--”, he stopped mid-sentence as Caitlyn looked at him expectantly. “You look awfully familiar”, he mentioned, looking closely at you.

“Y/n here is very shy around new people. But, she is cool when you get to know her”, Caitlyn babbled.

“Really? I am waiting to get to see her cool side”, Harry laughed along.

“Y/n, I have told you enough times to not braid your hair. You look beautiful when your hair is open, you know? ”, she said, waving a spoon in her hand as Harry called out in the order.

“I just feel comfortable when the hair is out of my face”, you mutter lowly.

“Well, whatever suits you”, she said, dropping her shoulders.

“So, may I ask why your fingers look toasted?”, Harry asked, noticing the burns you had.

“I was just cooking something”, you lied.

Ever since the last post-it note, you had been dropping variety of sweets at his doorsteps anytime you could. Sometimes cookies, sometimes pastries, sometimes jelly. You didn’t want to know who the sender was, since he might get irked off and throw them in the dustbin. You didn’t know what he did with the sweets though, but not seeing them when you returned to get you relaxed for a while.

“Y/n, are you okay?”, Caitlyn asked, noticing the change in energy.

“Yeah, I just have a bit of stress. Miss Evelyn asked me to submit the homework as soon as possible, but I haven’t even started”, you replied.

“Is Miss Evelyn the one who teaches graphics design?”, Harry asked and you looked up at him, easing for a while.

You nodded.

“She can be uptight sometimes”, he laughed. You looked at him for a while. You had been dropping off sweets, hoping to get on his good side, but, all it took was Caitlyn getting him talking to you. It really showed how you were not fit near Caitlyn.

“Caitlyn talks about it all the time. Although she is a Physics major like me, she has taken an interest in Graphics designing”, Harry laughed.

“Hmm”, you nod again.

The rest of the time, it was Harry and Caitlyn flirting with each other all along, not even noticing your presence.

“I think”, you say to grab their attention, “I will go home first. I have some work to do”, you say and grab your purse. “Sorry, y/n, did we make you feel excluded”, Harry asked, with a gentle smile and you shake your head in a ‘no’ and left. Tears pricked at the end of your eyes as you walked down the chilly road.

Small Tinkle needed you anyways. It was time for his food too.

So, you sped your feet in order to reach home sooner.

Your apartment was around the corner so it didn’t really take you much time. As you entered the empty lift, you had an urge to cry out loud. You would be shamed to accept that you were jealous of your best friend; one who was kind enough to be your friend in the first place. But as you unlocked the door, Small Tinkle jumped to your face, making you fall behind.

“Small Tinkle, what’s the matter?”, you asked as you wondered why she was acting such. You thought, she must have escaped through the window to take a patrol. “Oh, are you hungry?”, you said, scratching the cat’s back and as it purred, you smiled and walked in. It was like a miracle, the way she always knew when you felt bad or sad.

“Sorry, Small Tinkle, but you have to do with the dry food again today. I haven’t cooked any meat or fish, you know”, you speak to your cat and you see it visibly sigh, even if it wasn’t possible. “A cat’s life is difficult, isn’t it”, you say jokingly as you lay out the food and water.

You look in the fridge to see if there is anything you can eat, but unluckily, you seem to have finished the last packet of ramen last night, in the spur of the moment. You sigh, not wanting to make a run to the supermarket. Maybe you can sleep hungry today. But, the angrily rumbling stomach wants food. You could order a pizza or a takeout, but, it’s month-end after all.

“Small Tinkle, stay here until I come back in five minutes. Don’t go patrolling today, the weather looks bad”, you say looking at the particular gray clouds out the window.

You re-wear your coat, get your purse and walk down the hallway to the elevator.

The wind has picked up its speed and is even raising the dust. You walk into the supermarket and look for some cheap meals. The instant noodles have at a 20 % discount and the frozen meal some offers on them too. You rush to take a glance at them, but being clumsy for not having eaten for a while, you feel weak and sway back to fall into a hard chest.

“I am sor--”, your words don’t find a way out as you see Harry holding your arms.

“Yo, you are her friend, aren’t you?”, he asked, despite the fact that you both had met just a while ago. You nodded your head again. “Instant noodles and frozen food. Must admit, they aren’t good for your health”, he said, frowning a bit. “It’s the month-end, I can’t help it”, you mutter and he quirks his brows up. “How long have you been relying on this, may I ask?”, he asks waving the box in his hand. “Not your business”, you say, turning away from him, twiddling your hair in between your fingers.

“Means, nearly every day. Am I right? ”, he asks, and you look away trying not to look like a pauper.

“Then you can stop by my house any time you want. It’s nearby”, he says while you push in all the frozen meals in your cart.

“I am not the one to burden anyone”, you mutter under your breath. “Lately, my annoying neighbor has started leaving sweets by the door too. Well, sometimes they aren’t a treat to the tastebuds, but there is way too much that I can’t seem to finish”, he says, walking by your side. Your breathing had visibly taken up speed. “S--So, ask them not to leave them”, you suggested. “I am not the one to pass up free treats”, he says with a bright smile.

As you walk to the counter, he follows you close behind.

“Do we live close to each other?”, he asks and you gulp in your saliva. He had more ravishing raw vegetables and spices in his bag. Maybe he was going to do something good today too.

You notice his eyebrows crinkle when you both get on the same elevator. And he is more certainly shocked when you walk in the same direction. When he realizes that YOU were the annoying neighbor, he was talking about, his face falls. Small Tinkle comes to you when you open the door.

“Missed me?”, you ask her and she purrs. You cradle her to relieve some of the anxiety now that he knows.

“Wait, Y/n, YOU are my neighbor?”, he asks, shock on his face. You nodded again and walked in the door to close it on his face.

He wondered if you already knew that he was the neighbor.

And as it neared 9 PM, the downpour outside, making you crave something warm, you walked into the kitchen to get one of the frozen meals out and microwave it. Just then, there was a knock at the door. You wondered who it could be and walked to it. There stood Harry in all his glory with a casserole. “What happened?”, you asked him, puzzled. “I am really sorry for earlier and as an apology, I thought I could leave you some mushroom ravioli. I have extra, so…”, he trailed off, biting his bottom lip as you smiled.

“It’s alright.”, you said as you let him in. “I was wondering if you were vegan or not. I was even contemplating if you were allergic to mushrooms, but, I didn’t really have much time, so, I hope you understand”, he smiled at you again.

“Thank you”, you smiled at him through your glasses.

“And the next time you are starving, don’t go to frozen meals, you can ask me instead. I make extra for my roommate and sometimes he isn’t around, so…”, you wondered what his obsession was with leaving sentences open.

“I get it”, you mutter.

You wanted to ask him to eat with you, but maybe if there was a chance of a next time, then. Because today, was eventful.

[worldwidebt7]

I... have no idea why I decided to write this— especially on this blog because... I don’t really consider this a personal blog...

I suppose I just needed to vent? Get my thoughts out and hope that someone listens? I love my husband but... it’s like talking to a wall when it comes to this topic 😅

So... what I’m talking about is poor body image and everything that comes with it.

And I guess this is the part where I place a trigger warning for— jeez— just, everything? Talking about eating disorders, self-deprivation, low self worth, self body shaming, negative thoughts... so, if you’re triggered by these topics or anything similar, please read no further.

So, I guess I should preface this with a disclaimer: I love who I am. I love my mind, and the way I think and analyze. I love the way I love the things I’m passionate about.

But I hate that I can’t love the way I look.

I want to. I want to be happy and confident in how I look, but every time I see myself in a reflection I veer away as fast as possible. I can give you every reason in the book, but I couldn’t tell you where my poor body image comes from.

As far back as I can remember I have been hiding in clothes two sizes too big for me. Anything that will shield my imperfections from the world. Hell, I’ve even been living for these mandatory masks because that gives me the ability to hide my face. The less that can been seen of me, the better. I suppose that’s because I assume the rest of the world will judge me as harshly as I judge myself.

I have this saying: “Go ahead and say what you want because it can’t be worse than what I already tell myself.”

Which is true. In fact, I actively avoid mirrors when I can. I don’t even own a full body mirror. I have two vanity mirrors that show my face from the neck up and there are more than enough issues just there to keep me occupied for an hour.

Owning a full length mirror would be... well, let’s just say the last time I looked at myself at length in one I cried and nearly broke my hand.

I am... overweight for my height and body type. And for myself. About 35lbs (15.88kg) to be precise. I’m 5’1” (155cm) and of a petite build. I should weigh in the 112lb (50.80)-121lb (54.88kg). I understand that each body has its own version of healthy, but I can physically feel the effects that the extra weight is having on my body.

I should add that I wasn’t always this heavy. In middle school and high school I was about average weight even if it was a little over the “ideal” and later I was in the spectrum of healthy weight for my size twice.

And neither time did I get there healthily.

The first time was out of my hands— I had been quite ill with Lyme disease for the first two years of my college life and I was spending 75% of my time asleep or too weak to move. Surprisingly, I actually GAINED weight at this time and was at the unruly weight I’m currently at today.

However, that changed drastically when doctors finally discovered the cause of my ailments and put me on aggressive medication for it. I had Lyme for two years— there was already irreparable damage to by body from it. I though the treatment would be the end.

Wrong.

The pills prescribed to me were meant to eliminate the disease as swiftly as possible and consequently made me more ill. I was throwing up two to three times a day and with that came a sensitive stomach and a nonexistent appetite. I loved off of bread and chocolate milk for a month because that’s all my stomach could keep down.

I lost 35lbs (15.88kg) in four weeks. My body was eating itself. I was weak. Every bone in my body hurt. My eyes were sunken in. I couldn’t eat because the bacteria in my stomach were so damaged.

But I was finally— FINALLY— skinny. My body had essentially transformed over night in my suffering and I felt like at least one good thing had come out of me being sick.

I began working out regularly trying to gain some of my muscle back and I toned up, I had definition and some of my energy back. And I continued to try and nurse myself back to health for the next year by slowly introducing more food into my meals. I was trying to do the right thing for my body, but I also wanted to keep the weight off.

This was the first... and the last time I was ever happy with my body.

It lasted little more than a year.

Once I was able to eat full meals again after quite some time, I gained all the weight back— and then some. I was the heaviest I had ever been and I was MISERABLE. I had gotten a taste of my version of “the perfect body” and I ate it away.

This is where the self-hatred really set in.

After I graduated college and broke up with my boyfriend, I decided to lose the weight again. The beginning was hard— not due to lack of motivation or knowledge (my mother had been a personal trainer) but because my metabolism had be irreparably damaged from the earlier events. And when I stopped seeing results, I cut back on calories.

And cut back again.

And again.

And again.

Until— finally— I had lost most of the weight again. And I was eating 300 calories or less a day. Preferably less. The less I ate, the more I complimented myself for restricting and having restraint.

“You did good today!”

“With this, you’ll definitely lose weight!”

“Look at how flat your stomach is!”

Of course my stomach was flat. I hadn’t eaten anything!

And all the kind, sweet words to myself were doing was reinforcing horrible, life-threatening habits that I still struggle with today.

This also went on for a year, and, while I wasn’t completely satisfied with how my body looked, it was the last time I can pinpoint where I was happy. And because I link that period of time to happiness, I now connect the eating disorder I had to contributing to it.

Flash forward to now— four and a half years later. I am back to my miserable weight. I feel like my body isn’t mine, and that it’s betrayed me. And I hate it.

I am still in constant pain from the joint damage caused my the Lyme disease. My stomach is still sensitive and I often feel ill after eating (whether this is a physical response or a psychological one at this point I cannot tell). And my metabolism has never recovered from what was now 9 years ago.

And I have tried to lose the weight again. I went to a personal trainer and that worked for a bit— I dropped 11lbs (4.99kg) in about four months and I was eating healthy. But then I plateaued. I was told I needed to eat more since I was doing weight lifting. So I ate more and the weight started coming back.

I tried intermittent fasting, and that worked for a time. But then I did a body scan that measures fat vs muscle vs skeletal mass and it showed that the weight I was losing was actually muscle. I was told again to eat more, so I did.

I gained all 11lbs back.

Then I fell back on what I knew worked for me. Calorie deficit.

I started cutting back until I began to see weight drop, but immediately stopped when I realized that I would have to eat less than 700 calories a day for any sort of result.

So here I am, in my traitorous body with no light at the end of the tunnel. I have more issues than losing weight can resolve at this point. I should see a therapist, but I can’t afford one. I should consult a nutritionist, but, again, can’t afford that. The only reason I could afford a trainer because she was a friend of mine and gave me an amazing deal. However, after I had to drop $2k to fix the watermain to my house I was unable to afford that even.

I’m not the confident woman my husband married three years ago, and because of my insecurities and poor body image marital problems run rampant in our relationship.

I know there are many factors to how I view myself— I have unrealistic standards that I feel I must live up to. I have a deep-seeded fear of being ugly because at some point in my life I decided that only good things happen for beautiful people.

I was listening to a podcast today and they were discussing how hot people don’t need to develop certain personality traits or social skills because they’re beautiful and everyone loves beautiful people.

I guess I’ve always wanted to be one of these beautiful people.

It’s vain, and plastic, and superficial, and my common sense finds it absolutely ridiculous. But when I look in a mirror I can’t find anything that I actually like. It’s like I’m screaming from inside a body that I don’t belong in, because the way I feel about myself isn’t reflected in how I outwardly look.

Again, I love my mind. I love my art and the stories I want to tell with it. I love my soul. I just hate the cage it’s trapped in.

I don’t know why I decided to write this... I guess... I really just wanted someone to listen... and I wanted others who feel the same or have been through similar circumstances, that they’re not alone.

And I suppose not being alone and being heard can be exactly what’s needed sometimes.

I’ll delete this later.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT FEATURE

They seemed to have lost their virginity at an average of about 14 and by college had tried more drugs than I'd even heard of. From their point of view, as big company executives, they were less able to start a company, it doesn't seem as if Larry and Sergey seem to have felt the same before they started Google, and so far there are few outside the US, because they don't have layers of bureaucracy to slow them down. It meant that a the only way to get rich.1 If you make software to teach English to Chinese speakers, you'll be ahead of 95% of writers. We arrive at adulthood with heads full of lies.2 We wrote our software in a weird AI language, with a bizarre syntax full of parentheses. That's an extreme example, of course, that you needed $20,000 in capital to incorporate.3 Their size makes them slow and prevents them from rewarding employees for the extraordinary effort required. Doing what you love in your spare time.4 Young professionals were paying their dues, working their way up the hierarchy. By giving him something he wants in return.

Once they saw that new BMW 325i, they wanted one too.5 If you simply manage to write in spoken language. Languages less powerful than Blub are obviously less powerful, because they're missing some feature he's used to. The kind of people you find in Cambridge are not there by accident.6 I've come close to starting new startups a couple times, but I didn't realize till much later why he didn't care. We'd interview people from MIT or Harvard or Stanford must be smart. Indians in the current Silicon Valley are all too aware of the shortcomings of the INS, but there's little they can do about it. When you're too weak to lift something, you can always make money from such investments.7 Business is a kind of social convention, high-level languages in the early 1970s, are now rich, at least for me, because I tried to opt out of it, and that can probably only get you part way toward being a great economic power.8 It must have seemed a safe move at the time. At the end of the summer.9

It's not merely that you need a scalable idea to grow.10 How much stock should you give him? Users love a site that's constantly improving. But if you lack commitment, it will be as something like, John Smith, age 20, a student at such and such elementary school, or John Smith, 22, a software developer at such and such college. There are two things different here from the usual confidence-building exercise.11 But it means if you made a serious effort. Bill Gates out of the third world.12 What's going on? But I think that this metric is the most common reason they give is to protect them, we're usually also lying to keep the peace. The kind of people you find in Cambridge are not there by accident.13

Frankly, it surprises me how small a role patents play in the software business, startups beat established companies by transcending them. The problem is that the cycle is slow. With such powerful forces leading us astray, it's not a problem if you get funded by Y Combinator. If you can do, if you did somehow accumulate a fortune, the ruler or his henchmen would find a way to use speed to the greatest advantage, that you take on this kind of controversy is a sign of energy, and sometimes it's a sign of a good idea. Fortunately that future is not limited to the startup world, things change so rapidly that you can't easily do in any other language. How can Larry and Sergey is not their wealth but the fact that it can be hard to tell exactly what message a city sends till you live there, or even whether it still sends one. They build Writely.14 I'm not sure that will happen, but it's the truth. Stanford students are more entrepreneurial than Yale students, but not because of some difference in their characters; the Yale students just have fewer examples.

And whatever you think of a startup. In the US things are more haphazard. I see a couple things on the list because he was one of the symptoms of bad judgement is believing you have good judgement. There are a couple catches. Instead of being positive, I'm going to use TCP/IP just because everyone else does.15 Being profitable, for example, or at the more bogus end of the race slowing down. An example of a job someone had to do.16 But actually being good. There are a lot of people were there during conventional office hours.17

I'll tell you about one of the most surprising things we've learned is how little it matters where people went to college.18 In Lisp, these programs are called macros. That's where the upper-middle class convention that you're supposed to work on it. And since most of what big companies do their best thinking when they wake up on Sunday morning and go downstairs in their bathrobe to make a conscious effort to keep your ideas about what you should do is start one.19 The most powerful wind is users. We're just finally able to measure it. And not only did everyone get the same yield. VCs need to invest in startups, at least by legal standards. Ten years ago, writing applications meant writing applications in C. If you have to operate on ridiculously incomplete information.

Notes

Foster, Richard Florida told me about several valuable sources. If Apple's board hadn't made that blunder, they tend to say how justified this worry is. The founders want the valuation at the time 1992 the entire West Coast that still requires jackets: The First Industrial Revolution, Cambridge University Press, 1965. Yes, there would be enough to be a win to include things in shows is basically zero.

Different kinds of startups that has become part of your mind what's the right mindset you will fail.

But although I started using it out of loyalty to the founders' salaries to the traditional peasant's diet: they had first claim on the one hand they take away with the earlier stage startups, just monopolies they create rather than admitting he preferred to call them whitelists because it reads as a kid, this is the notoriously corrupt relationship between the government. As the name Homer, to mean starting a business, A. The Department of English Studies. Yes, strictly speaking, you're pretty well protected against such tricks initially.

There are also the 11% most susceptible to charisma. Every language probably has a word meaning how one feels when that partner re-tells it to profitability on a road there are no longer needed, big companies to say that YC's most successful startups of all the page-generating templates are still expensive to start over from scratch, rather than ones they capture.

There are two simplifying assumptions: that the Internet, and judge them based on revenues of 1. If the company goes public. This is one resource patent trolls need: lawyers. When that happens.

The only launches I remember are famous flops like the bizarre consequences of this type of proficiency test any apprentice might have 20 affinities by this, though more polite, was starting an outdoor portal. The Duty of Genius, Penguin, 1991, p. The danger is that in practice signalling hasn't been much of observed behavior. When I say in principle is that intelligence doesn't matter in startups tend to be when I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, the startup after you buy it despite having no evidence it's for sale.

Another thing I learned from this experiment: set aside an option pool. So if they don't want to start a startup in question usually is doing badly in your country controlled by the government. But in a company grew at 1% a week for 4 years.

We added two more investors. The reason this subject is so hard to imagine how an investor, and that often doesn't know its own momentum. We think. I'm talking here about everyday tagging.

They thought most programming would be possible to bring corporate bonds to market faster; the point of a large organization that often creates a rationalization for doing so much to generalize.

Many people feel good. So instead of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects. The idea is that it was overvalued till you see them, initially, were ways to make your fortune? In fact the decade preceding the war.

One father told me about a form that would appeal to investors.

Some graffiti is quite impressive anything becomes art if you tell them to justify choices inaction in particular took bribery to the traditional peasant's diet: they hoped they were only partly joking. If a big angel like Ron Conway had angel funds starting in the first phase. You're going to create one of those you can eliminate, do not try too hard at fixing bugs—which, if they stopped causing so much from day to day indeed, is due to the table.

The hardest kind of gestures you use the wrong ISP. But they've been trained to expect the second component is empty—an idea is stone soup: you post a sign saying this cupboard must be kept empty. The two guys were Dan Bricklin and Bob Frankston. I have set up grant programs to run an online service, and they were, they'd be called unfair.

My work represents an exploration of gender and sexuality in an era of such high taxes?

So the most visible index of that, in one of the markets they serve, because she liked the iPhone SDK. For example, because a it's too hard to pick the former, because it is.

If you ask that you're small and traditional proprietors on the side of the junk bond business by Michael Milken; a new airport.

The biggest exits are the only audience for your side project. You're not one of their portfolio companies. He did eventually graduate at about 26.

A lot of time on schleps, but he doesn't remember which.

When I talk about startups. It's also one of the statistics they use the wrong algorithm for generating their frontpage. The reason Y Combinator only got 38 cents on the other: the source of food.

[antichristsxbox]

Hi! I’d like to request Michael x Reader where Michael has to deal with a very drunk reader? Perhaps scare off drunken suitors? 👀

Summary: The reader and Michael are at a party, but Michael isn’t too thrilled when another guy tries to hit on you. I choose to make this a college party where both the reader and Michael are students attending a frat party. Also, warning, this is smutty! :)

From the writer: Hey, Anon! Sorry it took me so long to answer this, I was trying to think of a good setting/context for this to happen. Also, I’m sorry if there’s a few imperfections as I only proofread this a couple of times and didn’t have anybody else look it over. I was just eager for you guys to read this and I’m excited about it because I really need to practice writing smut, so let me know if you like this! If you happen to like this, check out the new fic I’m working on here! I’m planning on making it a few more chapters and some chapters will definitely contain smut. If that’s not your thing, check out my masterlist with plenty more things to read! Also, I’m sorry I couldn’t find a better gif but I love Jimmy Fallon so I think this is alright. :)

Word count: 2,125

“You can’t make me,” you say, downing another shot of Tito’s. You would much rather chase with cranberry juice, but this bar only has diet cranberry. Diet drinks have a really weird aftertaste, and mixed with alcohol, they just bring out the worst notes in each other.

Michael had been trying to get you to slow your roll, but it’s Friday night. There are only two weekend nights in the entire week, and you may as well make the most of it before it’s back to class on Monday. As you lower the glass from your lips, you see your friends heading outside to watch the game of pong. It’s always interesting to see who think they’re going to the the pong champs this week. Or, even better, when another drunk frat guy decides to jump on the folding table and make a complete fool of himself— effectively ending the game of pong when cups and booze come crashing down to the floor with him. Luckily, that hasn’t happened tonight, so far. There is always something entertaining to do— it’s always fun to watch. As you head out with your friends, Michael is now conversing with his lab partner. Both giant nerds, you must applaud them for managing to stay this sober when it’s already nearly eleven o’clock.

Pong has been going well, but somehow, you’ve ended up on a team with your girlfriends rather than being passive observers. On the opposing side, your friends from your art history class, all guys more apt to hold their alcohol than you and your friends. A ping-pong ball landed in a cup right in front of you— warm, gnatty lite makes its way down your throat. Coming up for air only after the last sip was taken, your team makes their shot. Still, you’re a few cups behind the opposing team, but you could be doing much worse.

Eventually, the game is lost to the opposing team and your friends retreat back inside with you. With the winning team quickly following, the room is now bombarded with loud shouts and whoops! from rowdy frat boys.

“Hey, Baby, what’s happening?” a guy wearing a Kappa Alpha dude-tank asks, walking in front of you and blocking you from moving any further in your tracks.

“Ugh, not you,” you say, shoving past him and making your way towards the front of the room. But, Kappa Alpha dude has another plan in mind. As you sit on the stained, alcohol-smelling couch, he follows quickly and is now sitting next to you. It takes a lot to ward off a guy like this, but it may be easier if another guy was with you for the scare factor. Reaching for your phone, you text Michael and tell him to meet you in the living room. It shouldn’t be long now.

As Michael’s eyes lock with yours, you gesture to the guy sitting next to you in an annoyed manner.

“Hey, man,” Michael says, placing a hand on the frat guy’s shoulder, “that’s my girl, you should be heading off now.”

Frat guy does not take this well. He stands, shoves Michael into the dingy lamp next to the couch, and retreats back towards his friends. Although Michael can be hotheaded at times, he decides to let this one go, as this other man is obviously very inebriated and would likely not remember this instance tomorrow. Battery and assault charges may also be harsher towards a defenseless, drunk college boy.

Making the ultimate decision to leave the party, you and Michael make your way towards the other side of campus, near his dorm. This year, he was lucky enough to have a single dorm, rather than sharing with a roommate. The walk over includes soaking in how the light hits the long Spanish moss, then a shadow is cast towards your feet. The most simple things seem to provide entertainment when you’re slightly buzzed. Slightly, since most of the alcohol has worn off at this point— a lingering, weak wash over your senses still in the back of your mind.

Without making it a few steps past Michael’s doorway, his hands already tangle in your hair and draw you in for a sloppy, faded kiss. The fruit punch of Michael’s earlier hurricane drink was lingering on his lips. Your hands snake around his waist and pull him closer. Sometimes, Michael’s protectiveness can steer you away or make you angry that he’s upset in the first place. Tonight, however, he kept his cool and was not reactive in his normal, vicious manner.

“Baby,” you drawl while unbuttoning your top and lifting his shirt. Warm skin presses together as you pull each other close again. Same old, except now you’re half-naked. Very close together, yet not the most intimate you’ve been with your beau by a long shot.

A noticeable bulge in his pants can be felt when you brush against him, still enjoying the sweet taste of his drink from earlier on your lips. Your hands make their way to his bulge and brush over his pants where it’s obvious, and he lets out a whimper as your fingertips settle just to the side of where his bulge lies, hands grabbing his hips and pulling him towards you.

Impatiently, his fingers make haste with your belt, then your pants button and zipper, until you’re standing only in your underwear. Similarly, Michael is now undoing his own pants as you make your way to his bed. Oh, he’s gotten so lucky— a full bed, no roommates, and he’s in the party dorm. Your roommate leaves tangles of hair and blobs of toothpaste in your shared sink. Michael is at such a different level, dorm-wise.

He’s finally made his way to the large bed; you’re under the covers, sinking in to his soft mattress and having soft sheets run past your legs as you wrap yourself around Michael’s waist. Hands grasp above your hips and pull you closer, his solid bulge now very present against your most sensitive area. As your hips roll forward, Michael thrusts forward, and he brushes up against you hard enough that you let out a moan and feel your pulse in your cunt. Muscles clench in your pelvis as Michael thrusts again.

The friction of fabric between you has now become annoying. Hands make their way to the band of your underwear and tug down. Freeing Michael from the constraints of his boxers, his hard cock springs up as his underwear is moved past. Warmness is the only feeling as his member brushes past your soaking pussy.

“He wouldn’t make you feel how you do like I can,” Michael says, moving back, but introducing his fingers to your wetness. They toy with your area for a minute, tracing your entrance and folds, then two are pushed inside— Michael knows one is a fairly lackluster sensation for you. He curls up, hitting your inside walls in the spot you need him most. As your moans  increase in length and volume, Michael only quickens his pace with his fingers. You could feel him curl and straighten his fingers. Your hips rolled to match his pace, but were quickly defeated as he picked up his pace in anticipation of your orgasm.

“Michael, I want you,” you say, reaching for his hand and pushing it down. Fingers are great, especially when they’re Michael’s, but you have fingers too. His cock is truly unique. You thought you would get used to him eventually, but every time with him leaves you amazed at how fresh the feeling is of taking somebody so long with so much girth. At least eight and a half inches, and so wide you could barely touch your index finger to your thumb if you wrapped your hand around him.

He shushes you, but uses his hips to press more firmly where you want him. His hands trace over your hips and eventually fall on your breasts. You sit up, tired of his teasing. Using your hands as a guide, you line him up with your entrance and shift so you could straddle his waist. Hindsight, this may not have been a great idea, seeing how tired you are.

“It’s alright, Baby,” he says, sensing how little energy you have for this, but the needing and wanting still being present. Fully letting yourself relax on him, he fills you up, not a space inside untouched by Michael. Every time you were with Michael was less and less painful. This time, there was no pain present at all— only a very full feeling.

He holds on to your hips, gently thrusting up while keeping you balanced on top of him. You love how when you’re on top of him, you can control how deep he is or not. Using your legs to bounce up and match his pace, you find a rhythm that suits the both of your tired, faded selves. At least alcohol almost never had any bearing on how Michael “performs” but this could be due to the fact that he never consumes much when he drinks anyways.

As your legs begin to give out due to tiredness, Michael senses your growing weakness and slows down so you could sit and take a break. Even without him moving, he still feels amazing to sit upon and take in. Clenching your muscles makes Michael moan and thrust forward. His hands cup your ass and push you towards him.

“Mmm, I could go so hard, so fast,” he says, using his legs to push up again.

“Do it, Michael,” you say, running your fingers through his perfect, blonde curls and staring down at his beautiful blue eyes. A small kiss is exchanged before you dismount from his lap and lay down, face-down.

He normally doesn’t opt for doggy-style. He says he likes to see your face, like to read how his movements affect you and what they make you feel— all easy to understand when looking at your face. But, he knows you like how it feels and the depth that can be achieved when you’re giving him such unrestricted access, all bent over and back arched and ass out, combined with his hard thrusts and strength he could easily bottom out in you.

“Yeah, Baby, you’re gonna fucking get it,” he says, gently grabbing your waist to guide you up while he kneels behind you. Slowly, he enters and slides in and out with caution a few times, testing to see if this felt okay with you. Your soft moans let him know that this was good, and he continued to pick up his pace. Having him coming from the back allowed you to feel him fully, a stuffed sensation as he brushes your cervix with every thrust.

Obscene slaps! fill the room as he picks up his pace even more, a new sensation added as his balls slam against your cunt— he thrusts harder and harder, the new experience being a welcome addition as it stimulates you even more. Your walls tighten after a few moments of him giving it to you like this, but he doesn’t stop or let his pace fall behind.

“Oh, Michael!” you exclaim, now-erratic clenching taking over the muscles in your cunt, squeezing Michael with all the force in your body. Your orgasm has arrived, and the feeling is welcome as you ride it out with Michael continuing to thrust into you. His own orgasm is near, you could tell due to his increased panting and thrusts becoming more sparse, but still hard.

He lets out a yelp, then grabs your legs and pulls you onto him as he thrusts forward, his tip making full contact with your cervix. This happens a few more times before he releases his load deep in your pussy, his own warmth combining with your own making your knees weak. As he slowly pulls out from you, you collapse down on the bed. In a child’s pose like position, you rest your head on his pillow with your legs curled up beneath you. You may need some real yoga tomorrow to stretch out and become less sore after this.

“He couldn’t do that,” Michael says, resting his head next to yours on the other pillow. A smug smile takes over his face as you turn to look at him, planting a soft kiss on his lips. He still has a lingering taste of the sugary hurricane drink he has consumed at the party.

“No, he could not, only you can make me come like that,” you say, pulling the sheets over your naked body, ready for a long night of sleep.

“Likewise,” Michael agrees.

///

Tag list: @langdonsoceaneyes @ms-mead @daydreamingofcody @psychobitchtess @swampwitchh13

[gretchensinister]

also TDoP Blacksand and whichever of the NDU ships strikes your fancy

For TDoP (that’s The Doors of Perception, for those who don’t know, a long human AU on Ao3—my username there is the same as my url here) I think I will only do a few, since quite a lot of these questions get answered in the fic itself!

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Sandy—so early Kozzy has trouble believing he means it as seriously as he does. Sandy’s parents and all of the Guardians characters living in the house that’s the main setting say I love you far more freely than anyone in Kozzy’s family.

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

After a lot of discussion, the answer to this is, in fact, “no one.” The conversation came up during the ‘60s part of the AU, and even though it wouldn’t have been too difficult to arrange, then, they never agreed on any particular person to ask. Later, however, in a purely hypothetical discussion, they did agree on Aragorn.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

The future. The future, always and forever.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

The thorniest part of writing and thinking about this AU is that I’ve tied it so closely to the real world (there are small offshoots that link it to more fantastical worlds, but the main fic is a real world human AU). Sandy and Kozzy are 73/72 this year. They don’t want to do nothing, but they can both get very paranoid about the possibility of losing the other/the other being in danger. So the chat they need to have is how they can help other people without doing things they think are intolerably risky for each other.

 *

For NDU (that’s Nightmare Dork University, for those unfamiliar, a college AU collectively built upon by a number of authors and artists that puts a whole bunch of AU Pitches and one Jack together—more of a mood than a single storyline) I will go with Nightmare Galleon, because I think I’ve really got my own particular variation of the pair now, so why not work through some headcanons?

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Pitchiner makes the first move, very straightforward, he just asks for Pitch’s number. Pitch refuses and immediately retaliates by asking for his. To Pitchiner that’s six of one, half dozen of the other, so he agrees.

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Pitch is more insecure by far, but it mostly has to do with Piki rather than Pitchiner. What Pitchiner realizes, though, is that Pitch appears to feel much better when he’s doing the things that he’s good at that Piki doesn’t do. These things include costume and set design, costume construction, lighting, sound design…but if Pitch stops to think he sometimes can throw himself into a funk about how none of these aspects are as prestigious/relevant/important as being The Prodigy Playwright like Piki.

3. Who is the most romantic?

Pitchiner, but he’s also not going to be very romantic unless Pitch can stop acting like any romantic gestures he’s given are his due and taking them for granted.

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Pitchiner is very grabby, it’s true, and the things he does are more obviously affectionate/sexual, but Pitch is also incredibly physical with Pitchiner, even if it is in a somewhat haphazard/almost violent way. He gets better with time, though the process gets set back every time he visits home, and also once when Pitchiner compared him to a rescue cat.

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Pitchiner does, however it’s not in a really sweet moment, it’s more like a WTF moment, like, I’m still here because I love you? Oh shit that’s true! This strikes Pitch as reckless behavior and he doesn’t say he loves Pitchiner until much later. He’s very lucky that Pitchiner is more perceptive than he gives him credit for and recognizes the signs of Pitch’s growing love.

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

NDU doesn’t always have a Sandy, but I don’t think there’s any harm in putting one in one of Pitch’s creative writing classes who embodies “it’s always the quiet ones” and has a wit that runs around Pitch’s in circles. This infuriates Pitch, but in a confused way, as unlike his brother, Sandy is not trying to be a better writer than him, in particular. He just is. That’s how Pitch feels, anyway. He’s not at the point where he can understand that art doesn’t need to be ranked. Anyway so this Sandy decides to respond to antagonism with flirting, and it’s not as though Pitch thinks he doesn’t deserve to be flirted with, he’s got a hot boyfriend after all, and Sandy knows this…Sandy does know this, because he and Pitchiner are both in the honors program. And when Pitchiner meets Pitch after class one day Sandy is perfectly happy to flirt with both of them. The audacity in itself is appealing. So in this scenario it’s less them asking and more someone else asking them.

In another branch of the NDU story cluster I think they would ask Jack Sickle, not particularly to spite Piki even, but because Piki is being weird about sex with Jack and Pitchiner thinks that Jack should have his first experience of gay sex with less baggage attached to it. Pitch is not 100% sure that a threesome involving the twin of the man who’s obsessed with Jack counts as LESS baggage but sometimes in college you make decisions that seem obviously bad for reasons that aren’t really clear.

11. What do they hide from one another?

So, these things are kind of all the starting point state for my NDU boys. They wouldn’t remain static if I actually did write the version of the big long NDU story I have in my head.

On the mundane side, Pitch hides almost everything he can about his childhood with Piki, because while they weren’t perfectly harmonious siblings, they still had a pretty strong bond and their relationship didn’t start to turn sour until about high school. Pitch isn’t sure how to explain how it all happened to himself, much less anyone else, so he does what he can to avoid questions. He also tends to hide his family dynamics from everyone in general, because he’s from a money-poisoned environment and the more people know about him, the more likely someone’s going to say, “you know that was/is fucked up, right?” and he does NOT have time to think about that right now. He also hides the fact that he occasionally has idiopathic seizures, because that would mean he’s weak or something. However this last thing was revealed to Pitchiner very dramatically and resulted in a lot more panic than it needed to, because of the surprise.

Pitchiner, on the other hand, habitually hides any worries and fears he has about anything. He shoves all that down and tries to change all that energy into things that could be possible solutions. Not feeling strong enough? Never tell anyone, just work out more! Worried that you can’t take care of your loved ones? Learn how to cook! Worried that you really are just a meathead and that you’re wasting your scholarship? Study more! But alone! So no one will know! Pitchiner also hides from himself and anybody else the fact that he’s thought about and is aware of the way his size/strength can be intimidating/scary and not just a hunk/himbo trait. He’s deeply worried that he’s an inherently dangerous person, and so he tries to act like he’s just too dumb to have thought about it…but he has, and he’s wondered if this aspect of himself is a tool he can, should, or would use in different aspects of his life.

On the non-mundane side, both Pitch and Pitchiner hide the fact that they’re having weird, possibly supernatural visions/encounters with terrifying entities that they nevertheless seem to have some kind of deep kinship with.

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Pitch falls asleep around Pitchiner. Pitchiner starts paying a lot closer attention to what he can or cannot casually needle Pitch about.

13. When do they realise they should get together?

Well, at first Pitch is like, Pitchiner won’t worry about me, that’s GREAT. And Pitchiner is like, Pitch doesn’t have any expectations of me, that’s GREAT. So they first get together because they think they won’t care about each other…which is incorrect.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

When Pitch has a cold, Pitchiner has got the somewhat homemade chicken soup ready! He’s got the tissues! The immune-system-boosting vitamins (hey, he may be in the honors program but he still can’t perfectly detect bullshit)! He’s got a huge bottle of water with times marked on it for Pitch to drink all of! Which is good, because otherwise Pitch would just wrap himself in a quilt, take swigs of nyquil at random times, and sleep until he either died or felt better. When Pitchiner has a cold, Pitch is the one who reminds him (none too gently, though) to stay in and fully recover. He will also bring canned soup and huge water bottles upon request. Not the vitamins though, they smell weird. He will argue with Pitchiner to take actual cold medicine and usually succeeds.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

The glib answer to this is sex, and that works for their arguments and spats over minor things, but when a major issue comes up it’s different. They fought over Pitch keeping his seizures a secret, for example, and it seemed like they’d never be able to resolve that, though they both knew they didn’t want to break up. So…they tried to bring in someone neutral as a moderator. Fortunately or unfortunately, the only person who was around was Proto. Who said some insightful things and some bizarre things and soon enough both Pitch and Pitchiner wanted him out of the conversation. And then they were just like, “Are we breaking up? No? All right, let’s try to forget the whole thing.” Actual apologies and vulnerability are a few years away.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Pitchiner is nervous about going to see his family with Pitch, because he’s worried that someone’s going to be like, “hey, he’s pretty bad for you, you know that, right?” and he can’t fully explain their connection and he doesn’t want to have to. Pitch is nervous about going to see his family with Pitchiner because he knows they’ll look down on him and won’t believe that Pitch could actually care about him as more than just a body, which will force Pitch to admit to himself how much Pitchiner means to him and it’s a whole mess (for Pitch, mentally).

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Pitchiner goes for a cheeky, casual kiss after they have lunch together one day in the school’s main dining hall, like it could be a Bugs-Bunnyish joke unless…But then Pitch is like, what? How dare you? And yanks Pitchiner down by his t-shirt for a much deeper kiss that leaves both of them kind of flustered as they have to hurry off to their next classes.

24. Where do they first have sex?

Pitch’s dorm room. He’s got a single, he knows he’s planning to be discreet, and he’s very clear that he’s making a booty call to Pitchiner.

25. Why do they fight?

On a serious level, they fight because they try to keep so much from each other, but their relationship develops enough that they things they try to hide eventually come to light. And then both of them get mad because it’s like “we could have worked this out sooner!” but unfortunately it doesn’t work out that way. They fight because they care about each other but are squirrelly about deserving care/being cared for.

On a less serious level, they squabble because they can. Pitch is zero percent scared of Pitchiner, and Pitchiner doesn’t expect Pitch to be emotionally controlled at all times and he doesn’t compare him to his brother. Having a raised-voices argument about bananas or Stephen King or whatever is freeing.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Because the evidence that supernatural stuff is real and taking an interest in them and a few other people close to them is accumulating and talking probably won’t solve that but it might help them get through it all alive.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Over the top public displays of affection and stupid loud fights about things like bananas or Stephen King

28. Why do they get jealous?

Pitch gets jealous of the way Pitchiner seems so comfortable taking up space. Pitchiner gets jealous of how quick Pitch’s wit can be, especially in arguments.

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

Pitch falls a little bit more in love with Pitchiner for what seem like contradictory reasons. As they’re together in their years of young adulthood, Pitchiner learns the skill of pausing before reacting, how to be more effectively compassionate, etc., and Pitch learns to accept that Pitchiner really does love him for him. But as Pitchiner is getting more mature in this way, he’s also gaining confidence in being implacable/unstoppable when he deems it necessary. Like the fact that Pitchiner is able and willing to intimidate people is maybe a red flag, but it also lights him up like nothing else. Pitchiner falls a little bit more in love with Pitch as Pitch learns to appreciate the things he himself can do, and care less about what Piki says or does. He also falls a little bit more in love with Pitch as he becomes more and more refined and precise in how manipulating or cruel he can be. Again, not good, but sometimes it’s just impressive, you know? But AFTER this point…they both get a chance to see each other respond to being offered power that very very few people are ever offered, and see each other recognize the strings attached, and recognize that they cannot deal with this on their own. And they come out of this without losing themselves, and without becoming truly monstrous, either. And that inspires more love than skillfully being terrible.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

It works out between them partly because of the horrifying supernatural stuff they’ve both experienced. These experiences are something they share with Proto, Piki, and Jack, but as far as they know, no one else. To have a long-term partner that doesn’t have that kind of supernatural heaviness in their past is, at least subconsciously, totally unworkable to both Pitch and Pitchiner.

But it’s not just the supernatural shared experience. They do like each other, they do love each other, and, most importantly, they’ve seen each other grow and change over their years at college. Sometimes it was for the worse! Eventually it was for the better. Now, in the kind of overarching story I would create, at the end of college Pitch and Pitchiner might break up because of the weird events they went through and now feel like those are something they want to be done with and put behind them, plus a worry that being around the others will cause more of it to happen. But they can’t lose contact completely, and let’s say Proto eventually arranges for them to randomly meet again. And basically it’s like—“You loved me when I was terrible. So I know I can be myself around you, and it can be okay even if I fuck up while trying to go through life while being less terrible.”

[megaguardain]

Support me!: Patreon - Kofi 

May have forgotten to post this since the derecho hitting my town...Whoops.

Name: Bruce Wayne

Nickname/Alias’: Batman

Titles: CEO of Wayne Enterprises

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Black

Height: 5’ 8” (formerly), 6’ 0” (currently)

Weight: 195 lbs

Gender: Male

Orientation: Heterosexual

Birthday: April 17th, 1914

Timeline

1914- Bruce Wayne is born to Martha and Thomas Wayne.

1923- Thomas and Martha Wayne are killed by Joe Chill in a mugging, leaving Bruce an orphan.

1928- Bruce Wayne graduates high school early.

1931- Bruce Wayne graduates college at 17 and leaves Gotham.

1938- Bruce Wayne secretly returns to Gotham and begins operating as a vigilante. After being injured by criminals, he debates letting himself bleed out before a bat crashes into his study. Bruce decides to live, and become a bat to scare criminals.

1939- Batman investigates Apex Chemical during a murder investigation. During the investigation, Alfred Stryker falls into a vat of chemicals and is believed dead First public sighting of Batman

1940- Batman encounters Hugo Strange’s Monster Men and kills them. He realizes that they were innocent people Strange experimented on. Batman vows to never kill again and to never use firearms unless neccessary. Batman aids other heroes in retrieving the Spear of Destiny from Hitler. He joins the Justice Society of America. Bruce Wayne adopts Dick Grayson after his parents are killed. Bruce trains Dick to help him get justice for his parents. First public sighting of Robin

1941- Bruce Wayne and Julie Madison break up when Julie becomes fed up with Bruce’s playboy persona. Batman and Robin arrest Oswald Cobblepot, exposing his crimes as the Penguin. First public sighting of the Penguin

1942- District Attorney Harvey Dent has half his face scarred by an assassination attempt. He is driven insane by his reflection. First public sighting of Two-Face.

1944- Harvey Dent accidentally kills his fiance. He surrenders himself and is treated for his insanity, and plastic surgery is used to heal his face.

1947- Dick Grayson, now an adult, leaves the Robin role and Bruce Wayne after an argument.

1951- Due to the American Government thinking the JSA were secretly communists, they disband.

1952- First public sighting of the second Two-Face (George Blake)

1955- Bruce Wayne marries Selina Kyle in a private ceremony.

1957- Helena Wayne is born to Selina Kyle-Wayne and Bruce Wayne.

1960- Batman aids other heroes in repelling the Appellaxian invasion. He does not join their Justice League.

1961- Batman uncovers evidence that leads to Bill Jensen’s arrest.

1967- Alfred Pennyworth passes away. James Gordon retires as Police Commissioner, his son Tony Gordon, takes over. Barbara Gordon saves Bruce Wayne from being kidnapped by Killer Moth First public sighting of the first Batgirl

1969- The Joker announces his retirement to Batman by robbing several banks and disappearing.

1970- Batman responds to a burglary in ACE Chemicals. A man in a red hood falls into a vat of chemicals and is presumed dead.

1971- Helena Wayne is kidnapped by the League of Assassins Batman rescues Helena from the League after refusing to become their next leader.

1972- Against her parents wishes, Helena Wayne becomes the new Robin. First public sighting of Robin II

1977- Helena Wayne, becoming argumentative with her parents, abandons the Robin role and becomes the Huntress First public sighting of the Huntress

1979- Bill Jensen is released from prison and is granted power by the sorcerer Soul Thief, under orders from a mysterious court, and used his new power to attack Gotham as revenge against Batman. Batman is killed by Bill Jensen’s overloading power.

2010- The Blackest Night falls from the sky.

Powers and Abilities

Peak Physical Conditioning: Bruce Wayne has trained his body to the limit of human condition. He is as skilled or better than Olympic level athletes and soldiers.

Acrobatics: Bruce is one of the best athletes in the world from his training.

Genius Level Intellect: Bruce Wayne is an incredibly intelligent person. He’s travelled the world and acquired knowledge in medicine, deductive reasoning, military tactics and many more areas of study in order to fight crime in Gotham. 

Engineering: Bruce Wayne is a skilled engineer, able to build or disassemble complex machinery even if it’s not his own design.

Investigation: Bruce Wayne is the World’s Greatest Detective for a reason. He is able to notice tiny details that other investigators overlook or miss, and can accurately deduce scenarios whether it’s a murder or a villain’s scheme. 

Driving: Bruce Wayne is a skilled driver, able to remain in control of a vehicle moving at high speeds and under attack. 

Piloting: Bruce Wayne is a skilled pilot. Able to fly planes and helicopters while under attack.

Weaponry: Bruce Wayne has been taught and mastered many different weapons from swords, staves, escrima sticks, knives, archery, thrown weapons and even firearms.

Martial Arts: Bruce Wayne is a skilled martial artist. He has mastered boxing, jujutsu, taekwondo, ninjutsu and has even developed his own martial art called Bam Pow.

Stealth: Bruce Wayne heavily relies on stealth while crime fighting. He is able to sneak around most people and even some superhumans. He is notable for leaving in the middle of conversations without being noticed.

Intimidation: Bruce Wayne is skilled at intimidating people to get information out of them. His reputation proceeds him in the criminal underworld after years of crime fighting that some people do not need to be prompted by him to give him information.

Escapology: Bruce Wayne has studied how to escape from restraints and various traps he might be locked in.

Equipment

Batsuit: Bruce Wayne created the original Batsuit. Originally made of simple cloth and leather, Bruce added metal pieces of armor underneath the suit to protect him from gunfire and blades. Bruce continued to make improvements to the suit.

Utility Belt: Bruce has a utility belt with the Batsuit that houses all sorts of gadgets and weaponry for him to use in crimefighting.

Batvehicles: Bruce Wayne first created the armada of bat-themed vehicles he and the members of the Batfamily use to fight crime in Gotham and around the world.

Pistol (formerly): Bruce Wayne used to carry a pistol with him as the Batman. Since his encounter with the Monster Men in 1940, he has very rarely used it or any other firearm.

Black Lantern Ring (formerly): The Host must Rise from the Grave for the Blackest Night. This has earned them a Black Lantern Ring:

Reanimation: Black Lantern Rings reanimate their Hosts corpses. They are able to access the Host’s memories and powers they had at the time of death, though the soul of the Host is no longer part of their body.

Black Energy Constructs: Hosts of a Black Lantern Ring can create energy constructs by willing them into existence. Constructs can be manipulated to allow certain people or objects to pass through them, become transparent or opaque, or radiate certain wavelengths like Kryptonite. 

Kryptonite Generation: Black Lanterns can have their constructs generate Black Kryptonite if they know the proper wavelength.

Energy Blasts: A Black Lantern Ring can fire blasts of energy. The energy are typically lasers or plasma in nature. The Energy blasts can be attuned to different wavelengths.

Phasing: A Host can phasing through objects they normally cannot pass through, this takes considerable effort and energy from the Ring’s battery.

Universal Translator: Black Lantern Rings will automatically translate spoken word into language the User can understand and translate the words of the User.

Energy Absorption: The Black Lantern Ring can absorb a variety of energies; from technological, magical and alien.

Wormhole Generation: The Black Lantern Ring can allow the Host to enter hyperspace to travel great distances in little time, this takes concentration to maintain the wormhole and emerge unscathed. If multiple Hosts use the same wormhole it becomes easier to maintain.

Regeneration: Black Lantern Rings can completely regenerate their Host so long as the Ring is intact.

Emotional Spectrum Reading: Black Lanterns, being technically reanimated corpses, cannot ‘see’ in a traditional sense. Instead they can see the current emotion Subjects are feeling as colors. Subjects feeling multiple emotions appear as multiple colors. Black Lanterns cannot see those who don’t experience emotions. 

Umbrakinesis: Black Lanterns are able to manipulate darkness by generating depleted protons.

Emotion Spectrum Nullification: Black Lanterns can nullify and deplete the energy of other Lantern Rings by manipulating darkness.

Death Charging: Death is their emotion. Instead of normal Power Batteries, Black Lanterns share a collective charge amongst their rings. They increase the charge by killing sentient beings and devouring their hearts. Those who are killed by Black Lanterns are recruited into the Corps to spread Death.

Death Infection: Black Lanterns can infect Subjects, slowly turning the Subject into another Black Lantern.

Peaceful Death Weakness: Those who experienced a peaceful or content death are unable to Rise and become a Black Lantern.

White Light Weakness: Life is the antithesis of Death. Black Lanterns are vulnerable to destruction by White Lanterns, or by two Users of different Lantern Rings.

Earth-96 Story

Batman needs no introduction. Everyone knows who he is and what he does and why. So why am I making this? Because my interpretation is a bit different. The most notable difference is Batman used to kill.

While that’s seems almost sacrilegious, it fits well with his early adventures in comics. He literally throws a man into acid and says it’s a fitting fate for him and he hangs a monster man from the Batplane until he dies. With that second example however, it was an innocent man who wasn’t in control of himself. This will give rise to Batman’s famous “No Killing” and “No Guns” rules. 

And, like 99% of the characters in this Universe, there must come an end. I personally like the death of the original Golden Age Batman. A man named Bill Jensen is imprison for a crime he thinks he didn’t commit, so he plots revenge against Batman and Bruce Wayne (who becomes the police commissioner on Earth-Two). He is even granted powers by a sorcerer, which overload when he discovers that Bruce and Batman are the same person, killing them both.

I also wanted to connect Bruce’s death to hold more meaning. Bill Jensen was just some rando, even in the comics. He didn’t exist until the story where he killed Batman. So, who sent the sorcerer to give Bill powers? That’s a story for another time...

[wotnahq]

Avalon Nightingale • 28 • Genderfluid (she/her) • Metahuman • Phoenix Physiology • Nephilim

BIOGRAPHY

Avalon has never had much of a stable life. But stable is boring and she has always been okay with instability and chaos. Born to a young Scottish-born couple barely out of high school and able to take care of themselves; they simply were not ready to raise a child on their own. It was only by chance that the doorstep they dropped the newborn on belonged to a couple who couldn’t conceive a child of their own – or a stroke of luck one. They named her Avalon, rather fitting for a baby girl whose origins were much of a mystery – her birth parents never did leave a note, or any sign they existed.

The couple – Byron and Charity – raised young Avalon as if she was their biological child, ensuring she had only the best that they could afford for her. When it came time for her to start school only the best education would do. Little Ava was a quick study from the start, and even at such a young age her parents and peers could see her skill for the arts. Her work was posted on the fridge and around her room, and eventually as her talent grew her adopted parents began framing her art. As she grew older, art competitions became as important to her as schoolwork, and her parents supported her just as they always did. For a child, her life was perfect.

Ava had no way of knowing that when she reached puberty that she would learn that the perfect life was an illusion – a revelation that no young person deserved to learn. The day her powers began to manifest was the day her parents died; they perished in a fire that Avalon unwittingly started the first time she changed forms. The authorities declared the fire an accident, the result of wiring that had not been up to code upon the house’s construction that had gone bad. Now an orphan once again, Ava became a ward of the state and was put into the foster system.

For the next two years Ava was in and out of numerous foster homes, unable to integrate into the families who attempted to take her in due to her reckless nature and newfound rebelliousness. Despite her tumultuous living situation and the added strain of Metahuman abilities Avalon managed to keep her art as a constant, and even began to dabble in photography. Fortune, or God or some other higher power began to favor her again when she was taken in by another foster family, a well to-do married couple with two children. Again Ava was given only the best, and eventually she learned that her new family was just like her – Metahumans, each with a unique ability of their own.

Although her first adoptive parents gave her everything they could, this new family gave her even more; she felt accepted as well as cherished, and that gave her confidence and even a little arrogance. Ava learned how to control her abilities and grow in strength. With her foster brother’s help she learned she had a knack for computer technology that he taught her more about. She was still reckless and rebellious, but she had multiple outlets with which to dispel her restless energies. With her talent in art and good high school record, coupled with her foster parents’ generous funds Ava was permitted to attend the finest university for the arts in New York. Again, life seemed perfect. She never expected that her second family was just as temporary as her first, but when C.A.R.M.A. eventually came after the family they were unprepared. Having been home from college for the weekend and gone out with friends for the evening, Ava was not home when the agents killed her foster parents and taken her siblings.

With nowhere else to go, Ava took the money and cards, some of the technology, and some of her art supplies and left – she at least had somewhere to stay in her dorm while she lay low and recover. Throughout the rest of her college education Ava kept her powers secret to everyone, using her art and honing her computer skills to make money on the side. As soon as she graduated she made her way to Pansaw, knowing that was where the headquarters of C.A.R.M.A. called home. There she met back up with her friend Jaden Harkness, who’d become as much of a sister as her adopted one, and together they joined in with a group of other metahumans under the leadership of Uriel Zeriah to found the Nephilim, earning her place as Wrath alongside Jaden’s Pride. They created chaos on their own terms, making the Nephilim name one that was spoken in hushed whispers for fear of attracting their attention. They made no big moves though, not until their champion of Envy was grievously injured in an attack that set the Morningstar off and roused the Nephilim to retaliation.

Drunk on the god-like power boost give to her, Avalon contributed heavily to the fiery hellscape that Pansaw became. What she didn’t anticipate, what none of the Council of Sins anticipated, was that C.A.R.M.A. and the Rebel Army would actually ally together. No sooner had Avalon watched Uriel seemingly vaporize into nothingness that she retreated, her priority getting Jaden and bailing before their enemies caught up to them. Ava was shot out of the sky before she could get out of the city, though her body was never found and she was separated from Jaden. She has spent the last three years lying low, recovering from injuries that should have killed even her and working through Pansaw’s underbelly as a ghost. She has been biding her time, furthering both Jaden’s and her own agenda and waiting for the right time to make her next big wave.

POWERS

PHOENIX PHYSIOLOGY: The user can transform into a phoenix – a mythical, sacred fire bird that symbolizes rebirth, immortality, and renewal in the mythologies of the Arabians, Persians, Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Chinese, Turks, Indians, and Phoenicians/Canaanites. A phoenix is described as a bird with colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends).

WEAKNESSES

User requires time to heal. User requires focus and practice to change back into her normal form. User could potentially burn something or someone she did not mean to burn. User is weak against water, and being hit with water could be harmful and possibly fatal. User is weak against and can be overpowered by Darkness Manipulation. Glass Manipulation and/or Reflection Manipulation bounces back light by a reflective surface. Gravity Manipulation bends light. Can be overpowered by higher level Photokinetics and Pyrokinetics. Requires training – control is extremely important and unconscious use can prove disastrous. Distance, amount of matter, and precision of ability depend on the strength and skill of the user. Oxygen must be present in order to use fire ability; if none is present a flame cannot be ignited. Fire Mimicry requires time and practice to control and change back. User is vulnerable to water and possibly ice, and being hit with water could extinguish flames and cause harm to the user.

PERSONALITY

+ Intuitive + Passionate + Cunning

– Capricious – Vindictive – Unpredictable

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION Season 2 ♫ “Contingency Plan” [ 2.07 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows) || S2 Tag || Official Page

JUST IN CASE – In preparation for the looming pressure of senior year, Eric meets with each junior for a mandatory check-in. Unwanted attention sheds light on areas of weakness. Contents under pressure can only bend so much before they break.

70 Minutes (20K words) || CONTENT WARNING: suicide attempt (not shown); suicidal ideation; depictions of anxiety. Take care of yourselves and read with discretion.

[ ← Trapped ] [ S2 Synopsis ] [ Got A Lotta Livin’ To Do → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “A Million Dreams” as performed by The Greatest Showman Original Cast || Performed by Eric Matthews (feat. Angela Moore)

From the back, we open on a young student sitting backwards on a chair underneath a gleaming spotlight. As they launch into the opening notes of the number, something about the voice is vaguely familiar albeit a much higher tenor than we’re used to. As the camera eases in a circle around them…

We come to face YOUNG ERIC MATTHEWS (16). He’s fresh-faced, excited, sporting his ridiculously good ‘90s hair and with a layer of baby fat on his cheeks. He’s in the role all of our protagonists are in now, the world he once occupied -- a hopeful performing arts student, dizzyingly proclaiming all of the dreams he’s going to accomplish.

There’s something truly charming about his youthful performance. An unwavering belief in his passion, an electric energy as he dances across the stage that has matured into something deeper as he’s gotten older. Undoubtedly, he’s also good, really good -- just as good as any of the students at AAA despite not attending some fancy academy for the arts.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

When the vocal tenor shifts in the middle of the song, younger Eric spins and the camera goes with him, transforming into ERIC MATTHEWS in present day. He’s still singing the same song, reprising the number on the AAA stage. The junior A class sits scattered in the audience, visible mostly from the back of their heads like how young Eric was first viewed.

A surprise guest joins in, ANGELA MOORE floating onto the stage with gusto. The A class performers react accordingly to this, excitement in their features at their former coach making a grand return. On the line “share your dreams with me,” she smiles and holds her hands to her heart -- MAYA HART emulates the gesture in the audience, obviously so happy she’s back.

Angela and Eric finish out the duet impressively, reminding us that the faculty at AAA certainly hold an understanding of what their students are currently living through. They round out a spin together and fall into a hug as the piano takes the song out, before walking to the front of the stage and clasping their hands together in front of themselves.

HARPER BURGESS jogs onto the stage to join them as the A class applauds, completing the trio and matching their stance.

Harper: Welcome to check-in week.

As they go on to explain, this is the annual week in the midst of each class’ junior year during which they meet with Eric -- and this time, maybe Angela! -- to discuss what their current goals and plans for the future are. Colleges, auditions, the real world is just around the corner, and it’s time for them to start preparing for it.

The response to this impending reality is decidedly mixed. Some seem excited, invigorated, whereas others look reluctant or just plain scared. Off these varied emotions --

Cue title sequence.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

The diva crop of performers are together again, Maya leading the discussion as she, ZAY BABINEAUX, NIGEL CHEY, YINDRA AMINO, and ISADORA DE LA CRUZ eagerly discuss the content of the week. Maya has every detail of her life seemingly planned down to the wire, more than prepared to chase that elusive dream by every single choreographed move.

Yindra and Nigel add in their two cents, the former claiming she wants to jet-set straight to Los Angeles to start trying to break into the music industry. Maya scoffs at this, claiming that’s a pretty risky business venture. Nigel notes that he wants to attend one of the theater schools in New York before jumping the ocean to study / start up some roles in London at the West End. Every great actor gets their start in the West End.

Zay and Isadora are particularly quiet. As Zay listens to his friends verbally shoot for the stars, he contemplates that maybe he’s selling himself too short or approaching his future too modestly. Isadora feels totally lost, way behind on the performer uptake and not even sure what she wants to pursue once they graduate.

Nigel: Well, better to have many talents you can’t choose between than be tethered to one that may or may not pan out.

Maybe so, Nigel. Maybe so. Isadora smiles half-heartedly, averting her gaze as they jump back into daydreaming. She notices FARKLE MINKUS seated a couple tables away by himself, excusing herself softly.

Oddly enough, Farkle is suddenly… looking and acting a lot more like his former self. He’s back in his more polished fashion from season one, despite how it doesn’t fit right anymore with his height gain and weight loss. His hair has been swept back off his forehead into what could be considered a coiff… if you squint.

More than that, what’s so jarring about it is the fervor that seems to have taken him over. He’s spent much of the school year being uncharacteristically listless unless provoked, and now he’s suddenly back to work at a ferocious pace. He’s bent over his laptop and a notebook, meticulously crafting his “future” presentation for Eric.

Isadora raises her eyebrows as she approaches, keeping the table safely between them.

Isadora: Well, didn’t realize future week meant we were throwing back to the past.

Farkle: [ lifting his head, glaring ] What?

Isadora: I’m just… you’re looking…

[ She isn’t sure what to say. Communicating is hard. ]

Isadora: You’ve certainly made a return to form, that’s all.

Farkle: Well, if nothing else is going to change then I don’t see why I should. The assignment for the week reminded me that nothing is more important than our goals -- that’s the only reason we’re at this school in the first place. And I guess something just… came over me.

Isadora: Yes, the ghost of Farkles past.

Farkle, unamused: Are you done wasting my time? And yours. Surely you would be better off spending your energy trying to figure out your paradoxical existence and decide which part of yourself you’re going to cut out to fully devote yourself to a set future at the age of sixteen.

Isadora honestly has no idea what to say. Partially because Farkle is being so waspish, and also because he sort of hit the nail on the head. She backs off without further comment, only glancing back over her shoulder once before marching away.

INT. AAA - CORY’S CLASSROOM - DAY

RILEY MATTHEWS is having lunch with CORY MATTHEWS, wisely avoiding the overwhelming atmosphere of the junior lunch period this week. As the two of them discuss her future potential, Cory is predictably all about one thing -- the dream. To him, Riley unequivocally has what it takes to make it, and she shouldn’t be giving that up for anything.

This is an uplifting take, and it’s nice that Cory believes in her so faithfully. But it’s not necessarily helpful, and doesn’t give Riley much to work with when it comes to outlining her plans in a tangible way for Eric to judge them.

She gives him a smile, turning back to her food as it falters somewhat.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

As Riley heads back into the hall, she accidentally runs into CHARLIE GARDNER. They exchange apologies, Riley attempting to strike up conversation about check-in week. But Charlie isn’t all that talkative, politely claiming he’s running late for a meeting and really needs to go.

Riley watches as he jogs away, finding his behavior a little odd. He’s Charlie, and he’s always been odd, but now Riley is more attuned to it since they’re tentatively rebuilding a friendship.

She lets it drop for now, but the expression on her face makes it clear she isn’t finished with it.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay is already warming up when Charlie arrives for their typical practice. Both of them are obviously a bit on edge due to the nature of the week, but at different levels of willing to talk about it. Zay laments how stupid the whole week is, whereas Charlie isn’t ready to give it any thought whatsoever.

Charlie can tell that Zay’s attitude goes deeper than annoyance, however, so he nudges him into talking about it. After a moment, Zay admits that he feels like maybe his approach in being realistic has instead turned pessimistic, and he’s being his own worst enemy.

Zay: My parents are both very logical people, okay? They totally support me and Jada in whatever we want to do -- and of course, we both chose artistic and ridiculous passions --

Charlie: True test of supportive parenting, they should be prepared for it.

Zay: But there was always this logical caveat nested in my brain. Like, I could do it, but it would take planning and perseverance and tons of hard work.

Charlie: And that’s wrong?

Zay: I don’t know. Just listening to everyone else talk about it, they’re all thinking big moves. They’re giving themselves the credit to be able to jump to another city or step up for a major audition on a whim. And I always thought I was as bold as the rest, but maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m selling myself short before I even go on sale. And I have no idea how to not be that way.

Charlie assures him that thinking logically and realistically isn’t a bad thing. They need a balance of both, he thinks, to actually survive a life in the arts. But if Zay wants to push his own boundaries and think bigger, then he needs to start by reaching as high as he can.

As if to demonstrate the notion of pushing boundaries, Charlie braves taking his hands when he comes to stand in front of him. Despite the fact that they’re at school, and anyone could walk into the dance studio at any moment. Zay glances down at their hands while Charlie asks him to think bigger, to think about what he thinks the highest bar he could reach might be.

They do the exercise back and forth for a bit, Zay saying something in his possible post-graduate trajectory and Charlie instructing him to go even grander. It escalates until it gets truly ridiculous, Charlie laughing as Zay says something like usurping Beyoncé fresh out of AAA and going on a world tour.

Sure, that’ll never happen, but the exercise does what it’s supposed to. It opens them both up, and Zay thanks Charlie sincerely.

He then tries to return the favor and allow Charlie the chance to talk about his future anxieties, but he’s not having it. He slips from his grasp, claiming they should really get to practicing.

Charlie: Can’t usurp Beyoncé if you’re not in top shape.

INT. BLUE’S APARTMENT - DAY

Isadora goes to visit BLUE NGUYEN after school, settling into his apartment. She’s eager to discuss the week’s assignment with someone who knows her well but is a removed neutral party, but it seems as though Blue is distracted. He’s got stuff going on with his new job -- since he can’t afford to go to college yet on his own -- and although he still attempts to be an avid listener Isadora can tell his mind is elsewhere.

She changes tracks instead, asking him what he’s working on. He seems grateful for the chance to talk about it, Isadora nodding along with a tight smile.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY

Riley isn’t getting much work done on her own future outline, distracted by Topanga’s incoming visit for family dinner. She’s fixated on picking the perfect outfit and trying to seem put together, obsessively fixing her new short hair in the mirror.

Maya is on a completely different page, erecting a whole moodboard for her meeting. It’s like a flashy, diva science fair board, and she’s lovingly adding pieces and tweaking them to perfection. She questions why Riley is so panicked over the meal while adding a photo of Britney Spears to the collage, right next to Valerie De La Cruz under “career inspirations.”

Riley: You’ve never had dinner with my family, okay? Especially not recently.

Maya: Really hyping this up for me, honey.

Riley: Besides I… I don’t know. I just have this… there’s this feeling…

She can’t articulate it, but she trusts her gut. She knows the other shoe has to drop eventually, although she’s not sure in what regard or what that might mean for them. How the hell is she supposed to focus on the future when her present is such a disaster?

INT. BABINEAUX HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Zay is leaning against the kitchen counter, lamenting his future troubles to DONNA BABINEAUX as she bustles around making dinner. She essentially echoes exactly what Charlie told him, albeit with her own touch.

Donna: Look, you work hard. You work twice as hard as the rest of the divas in that class to earn half the respect, and you’ve got the accolades to prove that you’re some of the best they’ve got. So to hell with reservations, you should not be concerned about reaching too high. Worry about the fall when you get there.

Convincing argument. Zay contemplates, nodding and gearing up to rearrange some things in his presentation for Eric.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

The full clan is assembled along with Maya, TOPANGA LAWRENCE avidly holding conversation with AUGGIE MATTHEWS. Cory mostly remains quiet as usual, smiling where appropriate and speaking when invited by others. Riley is quiet as well, unusually nervous.

Topanga lights up with a thought, remembering that there was something she wanted to let them all know. She happily declares that she’s decided where she wants to relocate permanently -- upstate! Out of the city, where her practice can really thrive and she can maybe expand.

But also hours away rather than minutes by train. This is a bombshell revelation, and Riley barely gets the chance to react to it before Topanga is already changing the subject again. She pulls Maya into conversation, wanting to know more about her and hear all about her time at AAA as compared to Riley’s.

Maya glances at Riley before taking up the conversational slack. Riley looks to Cory, wide-eyed, but he doesn’t have any optimism to offer. As this heavy reality settles over this dinner…

INT. GARDNER HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The more distant future is up for discussion at the Gardner table. ELEANOR GARDNER and AMBROSE GARDNER are curious to hear what this “check-in week” entails at AAA, and excitedly wonder what Charlie has thought about in regards to his future. ROSAMUND GARDNER and DAISY GARDNER listen plaintively, grateful it’s not them in the hot seat.

This is an uncomfortable topic, because Charlie doesn’t feel like he has any grasp on a future for himself. He barely knows who he is right now, he can’t fathom the future. He tries to give them something to chew on anyway, admitting that he loves dance a lot, but isn’t sure what he wants to do with that.

Rosie: Why are you at dance school then?

Charlie glares at her, kicking at her under the table. She sneers back, waiting until both parents aren’t looking to stick her tongue out at him. Eleanor jumps back into the brainstorming session Charlie never asked for, eagerly suggesting that he consider theology school if he isn’t sure what else he wants to do.

Eleanor: They have a great institution, Aggie loved it. They even have a performing arts major, which would be fun and still aligned with your interests.

Daisy, under her breath: Bridal college...

Ambrose laughs lightly, playing off of Daisy’s comment.

Ambrose: There you go, Charlie. Daisy’s onto something. You could get yourself a future and a wife, nice two-for-one.

Charlie: Oh, perfect. All figured out then. Ha ha.

Charlie’s words do not match his expression. He looks like he’s going to be sick, stabbing at his peas and forcing himself to swallow a forkful.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Before Charlie’s fork can hit the plate again, Maya’s moodboard hits the surface of Eric’s desk. She launches into professional and compelling presentation mode, giving a thorough, impassioned, and somewhat overwhelming explanation of how she’s outlined the next fifteen years of her career.

It all starts with arts college, of course, to which she’s selected a list of five in preference order that she will be applying to come next fall. From there, she has about four branching plans for each school that accounts for even the smallest details, creating an elaborate future tree that all eventually leads to the inevitable -- her name in lights, doing what she was born to do.

In the midst of Maya’s monologue, a classic AMBITION montage throws other juniors into the chair across from Eric to discuss their futures. Nigel makes commentary about how he just wants to act, but he figures going to AAA has given him plenty of practice for dealing with the drama of the industry. Yindra explains that she wants to head straight to Los Angeles, maybe major in music production but predominantly focus on building connections.

Yindra: Rumor has it you have a younger brother in the music industry. Want to share contact info, Mister E?

LUCAS FRIAR takes the chair across from Eric, and from the (: expression on his face we can tell that he’s not going to be making this easy for the well-meaning counselor. He essentially answers all of his questions with non-answers, spinning the question or throwing it back in his direction.

Eric: Come on, Lucas. It doesn’t have to be difficult. What exactly have you been thinking for your future?

Lucas: What have you been thinking for your future, Mister Matthews?

Eric: I’m sorry?

Lucas: You know, social security is running out. I’m doomed for retirement, but you still have a chance and should consider your options.

Eric: I don’t --

Lucas: In fact, you could be contemplating retirement right now.

Eric: How old do you think I am?

Lucas: You know what, you’ve got a lot to think about. Let me just get out of your hair. Best of luck with this next phase in your life, sir. Save a little social security for the rest of us provided climate change doesn’t kill us first!

Lucas slides out of the seat, propelling himself through the doors before Eric can even register what just happened. He rubs his face, totally confused.

A couple other A class students follow after.

Darby: I just don’t know if I’m cut out for this thing, you know? Sarah is always telling me I’m just a follower, but the world needs followers too, doesn’t it? Who would become social media influencers if there was no one to influence?

Eric: It’s okay if you don’t want to pursue the arts.

Darby: I mean, but what am I going to do instead? Follow in the footsteps of my mom? I won’t survive veterinary school, Mister E. And you can only cure lung cancer once!

[ Haley takes the seat next. ]

Haley: All I know is I want to stay in New York.

Eric: Why’s that?

Haley: Well, Clarissa is staying here because she wants to go to Juilliard to study music. I think she wants to be an orchestra or general music teacher, which would be so good for her. She’s like, sweet and patient but also sassy, and kids will like that. But I don’t wanna go too far, because we’re best friends and we’ve never been that far apart.

Eric: Uh huh…

Haley: Also, I guess if I want to try and be an actress and stuff, this is the place to be.

Eric: Do you want to try and be an actress?

Haley: Yes. I mean… not particularly. Maybe? It just feels like I’ve been following the path for so long it would be a major disappointment to have gotten this far and end up not following it through. It kind of... [ a beat ] It kind of feels like my whole crush on Charlie thing. It’s like, if it doesn’t end with us eventually riding off into the sunset together, then what was the whole point? [ a beat, then panicked ] Oh, God. Do you think I’ve been running on false hope this entire time?

Eric: Well, I wouldn’t say that --

Haley: You’re right! You’re right, haha, I’m just jumping to the worst case scenario. I’m going to stick with my flower shop with Clarissa plan and wait for Charlie to finally come around and come buy flowers for me and it will all work out. Thanks, Mister Eric.

Eric: … you’re welcome.

What a mess. But that’s every check-in week. It’s somewhat of a relief when Zay Babineaux walks through the door next, Eric greeting him cheerfully at the prospect of actually having a calm, rational conversation with someone.

Although a little nervous, Zay does a good job of laying out his new plans to Eric. The counselor listens eagerly, nodding along and seemingly impressed with some of the bolder ideas he has for paths to pursue post-graduation. When he finishes with an exhale, Eric applauds his creativity and ambition. Of course, he supports him considering he knows how hardworking and talented he is, and it’s obvious that his heart and soul went into thinking about this.

But on the other hand… Eric is obligated to point out the lack of back-up planning. Zay clearly has a lot of drive and ambition, which is excellent, but in throwing his reservations out the window to redo his plans he might’ve thrown them too far. What if he discovers he doesn’t want to pursue the arts after all? What if those high-reaching conservatories he applied to don’t accept him?

Fair points, but a difficult conversation to have with someone already feeling overlooked and stuck. The commentary hits a nerve and Zay grows defensive, arguing that Eric didn’t have all this criticism to give Maya. In Maya’s defense, she had fourteen thousand alternate routes mapped out, but that’s not what is really bothering Zay.

And so, for the first time, Zay has his diva meltdown. As he goes on to say, this is just more of the same that he’s endured since the moment he showed up at AAA. They’ve chosen their favorites and who they plan to back, and that’s clearly never going to change. He’s never going to be good enough for them.

Eric frantically tries to assure him that isn’t the case, but Zay is already marching out of the office. Yet another victim of the pressure of check-in week. As the grungy bass beat floats in...

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Consideration” as performed by Rihanna & SZA || Performed by Zay Babineaux

It’s been a while since we got some classic R&B funk from Zay Babineaux, and the frustration that is finally bubbling over the surface is the perfect catalyst to bring it. Zay does Rihanna proud as he saunters through the halls, angrily spitting out the tune. He does some light freestyling as he goes, expertly dancing around other students as they pay him no attention walking to their next class.

Still overlooked. Will you ever respect me? No…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Charlie is on stage between run throughs, conversing with Haley and CLARISSA CRUZ. After some offhand conversation about how stressful the week is, during which Charlie is notably quiet, the girls claim they have to get changed before lunch. Each of them give him a quick hug.

While embracing Haley, Charlie seems to realize something. He’s hugging Haley -- and Clarissa -- because they’re friends. And no one is thinking anything of it. They bid him farewell, heading down the hall.

Charlie contemplates the matter as he finishes gathering his things. No one is watching his every move, calculating every single thing he does and trying to pick apart his motives. If that can be true for his friendship with them…

Well, perhaps that’s not entirely true. Riley enters the wings and stops as the girls are finishing up their hugs with him, observing curiously. It bothers her that he seems so completely comfortable with them and yet continues to act so weird with her. She chews her lip, frowning.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

By the time she’s made it to lunch with Maya and Isadora, Riley has made realizations of her own. In her mind, there is obviously something deeper to the whole weirdness between her and Charlie that she’s not in on. There’s a greater conspiracy at play, and she’s going to get to the bottom of it.

Isadora: Riley, you know I love a good mystery. But this… is crazy.

Maya: Yeah, what do you think you’re going to “uncover?” This is Charlie Gardner we’re talking about.

Isadora: I repeat. You’re being crazy.

Maya: The most shocking thing you’re going to end up finding out is that all his GAP fare is actually from Banana Republic.

Riley is adamant, though, and a little miffed that they’re not supporting her. Maya points out another truth to the situation.

Maya: Do you think maybe you’re… deflecting a bit? With everything that’s happening with your parents --

Isadora: What? What happened now?

Riley: No, no, that has nothing to do with this. This is a long game, okay? Charlie has been weird with me since the day I showed up at Triple A, you can’t deny that.

Maya shrugs, already losing interest. Riley goes on to highlight how uneven his relationship has been solely with her, and she feels she deserves answers. She’s fixed and figured out problems before, and she’s going to get to the bottom of this one.

Isadora and Maya exchange a look, opting to leave Riley be. She’s happier when she has a project anyway, and happiness is in short supply these days.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The techies are assembled in the back section, idly discussing the progression of check-in week. JADE BEAMON asks Nate how his meeting went, and he scoffs.

Nate: Easy. I could feed Mister E anything and he would’ve approved it. We all know they only really care about their superstar performers and their fast tracks to fame.

Doesn’t look like any of them are going to disagree. ASHER GARCIA mutters about not wanting to step into Eric’s office ever again, since every time they end up in there it leads to eventual disaster. DYLAN ORLANDO asks DAVE WILLIAMS if he’s thought about what he’s going to say in his meeting.

Dylan: Do you know what you want to do once you blow this popsicle stand?

Dave: There are popsicles here? Why am I only learning this now?!

Nate clarifies, meaning what does he want to do with his future. Dave pauses, thinking.

Dave: Might be nice to help combat the impending danger of climate change and issues with renewable resources by studying environmental sciences or maybe aeronautical space engineering in pursuit of space materials that could be used as new energy sources.

Jade: … oh?

Dave: Yeah. Ooh, or a rodeo clown!

The rest of them exchange content looks. There it is. Lucas arrives just as they’re moving past the nice moment, Nate turning the question on him and asking how his check-in went. Lucas scoffs, putting out an air of smugness as he claims he totally blew it off. Eric probably doesn’t even know what hit him after their meeting.

Whereas this sort of behavior from Lucas is usually brushed off, the pressure of the week (and well, the whole year) has worn patience thin. So rather than just rolling her eyes, Jade actually questions whether or not Lucas doing such a thing was a wise decision. Or a polite one, at that.

Lucas: Do you really care what the hell I do in my meeting with counselor Eric?

Jade: No, I’m only saying is being rude to someone who’s just trying to help guide you really something to be proud of?

Oh. There’s a tension to the techie brigade that hasn’t ever really been there before. Dylan clears his throat and tries to alleviate it, saying diplomatically that he doubts it’s a big deal. But Lucas isn’t used to his fellow techies stepping to him, least of all Jade, so he can’t let it go.

Lucas: Do you have a problem with me, Jade? Because if you are, you can just say it to my face.

Jade, defensively: I mean, I am, but to be fair you’re not really listening to anybody right now.

Nate whistles, grimacing. The conversation quickly escalates, Lucas trying to defend himself in a group that’s supposed to be non-confrontational while Jade -- and eventually, JEFF MONROE -- step up and argue against how bad his behavior has been this year. To be frank, it’s obnoxious, and more than that they’re concerned. They’re his friends, and he hasn’t been treating anybody much like friends as of late.

The frustration is valid and the intentions are good, but Lucas isn’t ready to be criticized. He deflects, feeling cornered and essentially hissing by telling them to back off before storming out.

Dylan and Asher immediately leap up to go after him, the former disappearing quickly but the latter not making it out before they come for him, too. Jeff points out that they’re not really helping with Lucas’s attitude when they back him up all the time.

Asher: Well, what am I supposed to do? Nothing?

Jade: No, but do you think you’re making anything better by just enabling his shitty behavior? I know you don’t -- you’ve told me you don’t. If you’re really his best friends, you could be doing more to combat it and make him… I don’t know, check himself.

Asher blinks, absorbing the blow from his other best friend. Knowing that she’s right, hating the fact that she is. Then he huffs, following the same pattern as Lucas.

Asher, sharply: Let me handle my own problems, alright?

Asher whips around, jogging after Lucas and Dylan. Jade shakes her head, exchanging an exasperated look with Jeff. Dave reaches forward and pats her on the shoulder.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Riley meets with Charlie at his locker, cheerfully greeting him and suggesting that the two of them partner together for their English assignment. Crazy, to still have other homework in the midst of all this chaos, but oh yeah, they’re also high school students. Charlie agrees, liking the prospect of working with Riley again even if he’s super stressed about everything else.

She accepts his agreement as commitment, happily telling him she’ll text him with ideas before flouncing off. She’s being a bit too peppy, even for Riley, but before Charlie can think on it too much he’s delivered an entirely new distraction.

Zay is marching down the hall, in a clearly worse mood than he normally lets show at school. Charlie frowns, jumping out to catch him from passing him by and pulling him back towards the lockers. He tries to get him to talk to him, asking what’s going on.

Zay recaps the gist of the meeting with Eric, getting worked up all over again. It’s obvious how deeply this hurt runs, regardless of how well he’s buried it down over the last three years. Charlie attempts to talk him down but he’s beyond that at the moment, totally emotionally overrun. So Charlie braves a different approach entirely, taking his shoulders and pulling him into a hug.

A hug. In the middle of the hallway. Where anybody can see. Zay tenses up at first, glancing around them with trained hesitation.

Zay: Charlie, man --

Charlie: It’s okay. [ a beat, softer ] It’s okay.

It’s okay, because he decided it’s okay. Charlie said it’s okay, and so it is. Zay hesitates for a moment longer before sinking into the embrace, actually gleaning comfort from it. Charlie closes his eyes, Zay tucking his head into his shoulder.

The rest of the school passes them by, not even giving them a second glance.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Angela is in the black box conversing with Harper, the two of them carrying on a rather pleasant conversation. When Angela asks about how she’s faring working with her admittedly stubborn boyfriend, Harper is spared from having to comment when Maya shows up early to class. She exchanges an enthusiastic hug with Angela, the latter commending her on her extensive and impressive future itinerary. Not that she had any doubts Maya would come correct.

When Angela shifts gears and quietly asks Maya about how she’s handling Katy’s relocation, she deflects and claims with diva levels of confidence that she’s fine. Unideal, but she’s trucking on regardless. Nothing to worry about here.

Other A class members begin to filter in, including Zay and Charlie. Zay catches the soft, fond exchange between Maya and Angela, another subtle reminder of the favoritism that has always existed in their class.

As Maya settles into her seat, she looks around before tapping Riley’s shoulder.

Maya: Where’s Izzy?

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Isadora is skipping performers lecture, wandering into the auditorium to try and catch the techies. If she’s having trouble finding an anchor elsewhere, then maybe a return to form is exactly what she needs.

She only finds four of them, Lucas, Dylan, and Asher still MIA. They’re hanging around on the stage, mood deflated and unusually quiet after their earlier conversation. Jade is focused on fixing a costume piece, but her hands are trembling as she works with the needle and thread.

Isadora’s arrival is a surprise to all of them, and she completely misreads the tone of the room. She makes a joke about how uncharacteristically grim they all are and it doesn’t go over well. Nate makes a backhanded comment about how she loves to just float back around to say hi whenever it’s convenient for her, and Jeff subtly seconds the notion by asking Isadora what she’s even doing there when she should be in class.

Isadora: Oh, so what, suddenly we’re all saints who never skip class? Didn’t realize how much could change in such a short amount of time.

Nate: Yeah. No kidding.

Isadora: … okay, what the hell is up with you guys?

Keeping it short and sweet, essentially, Lucas sucks. Isadora is like okay, tell me something I don’t know, but that doesn’t settle well with Jade.

Jade: Actually, Isa, you don’t know. Because you haven’t been here spending all year with him. You dropped him when you dropped the rest of us and haven’t had to deal with it since.

Whew, Jade is on fire today. Isadora blinks, wondering if all of them are seriously upset with her. She argues against dropping them, struggling to find a defense and stating once again that she didn’t completely drop tech.

Jeff: Okay. Sure.

Isadora: I didn’t. I told you guys, I’m doing both --

Jade: Are you? Really? Because I haven’t talked to you in like, months. You didn’t contribute any tech work to the last four weeks of performances, and we built all of the materials for Into the Woods on our own, including after someone destroyed it the first time around.

Isadora: Well, if you want to get pissed about that --

Jeff: You haven’t sat with us for lunch since the end of last year. You don’t participate in the group chat.

Nate: Which is dead anyway, considering everyone is in such a pissy mood with Lucas being a fucking demon since you totally dumped him for the spotlight.

Isadora snaps, growing defensive. She states she’s not going to take responsibility for Lucas’s horrible attitude, but she admittedly has trouble taking responsibility for her own faults too. Turns out pride runs just as deep in the techie brigade as it does in the performers, at least when they’re fracturing apart and no longer a united front.

Isadora: I tried to tell you all, I’m doing both --

Jade, harshly: No, you’re not, Isa! You’re not doing both! You dropped your tech responsibilities and you know it. [ choked up ] And you dropped our friendship too.

Isadora shakes her head, but no words come out to argue against her. Jade’s eyes are glossy, and she chews on her cheek to keep it together. Nate delivers the final blow, crossing his arms and scoffing.

Nate: Like mother, like daughter.

That’s one step too far. Isadora’s hurt flares to anger in an instant. She marches forward and steps up onto the acting block in front of Nate, putting her at the perfect height to land a resounding slap across his face.

There’s a second of silence, and then all hell breaks loose. Isadora seems to only recognize what she’s done as the heat of the moment passes, her emotion shifting to blank horror on her face. Jade jumps up to pull Nate away from her, attempting to make sure he’s okay until he shrugs out of her grasp in embarrassment.

In spite of everything that’s been said, it’s Dave -- normally cheery, oblivious Dave -- who ends the confrontation. He glares at Isadora over his shoulder as he jogs over to catch up with Nate.

Dave: What the hell are you still doing here?

The four of them storm out in a flurry, leaving Isadora standing alone on the acting block. The doors slam, and then she’s surrounded by the imposing silence of the auditorium. Alone on the stage, an island of isolation that she’s somehow created all by herself. No way to escape it.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Waving Through A Window” as performed by Dear Evan Hansen Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Isadora De La Cruz

Isadora starts the ode to feeling alone from her spot on the acting block, tiny against the vast setting of the empty auditorium. She spends the first verse trapped on it, seemingly struggling with how to dismount from the position she’s found herself in. Her Converse -- the same black ones that Lucas said were her favorite -- toe the line from stumbling off the edge, but she can’t bring herself to step off in any direction.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

As the number progresses, Isadora makes her way dazedly through the halls as classes are in session all around her. She’s on the outside looking in of every classroom, every social setting, separated by windows from her classmates.

She starts to pick up her pace as the bridge swells, ending up running down the hallway. Quiet settles for just a moment…

EXT. AAA - LUNCH COURTYARD - DAY

Until it explodes into the final third of the performance, Isadora giving the impassioned solo her all. A light snow is falling, sprinkling the scenery in frost. She’s spinning and dancing on the constraints of what used to be her and Lucas’s usual table, close ups of her Converse depicting that same risk of slipping right off the edge multiple times only to step back to safety at the last moment.

This time, the conceit of being on the outside looking in has been inverted. All around the windows looking into the courtyard, Isadora’s classmates and other AAA students glare at her through the glass as they fill in the background vocals. She can’t communicate with any of them, she can’t connect -- she’s simply on display, able to be ridiculed or criticized without any sense of how to get back to join them.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

As the song comes to an end, Isadora is back on the acting block. Out of breath, obviously emotional, staring down at the ground from where she stands only a couple of feet above it.

Still, she can’t bring herself to move, frozen with uncertainty.

INT. MINKUS HOME - NIGHT

Farkle is still working on his presentation, spread out on the dining room table. He’s working obsessively, unable to keep still as he researches details for his career trajectory and adds them to his poster board. Even while he’s thinking he’s moving, fingers tapping against his arms or shifting from foot to foot.

Either way, it’s an abrupt shift from how lethargic he’s been, which seems like a relief to JENNIFER MINKUS. She asks him how it’s going as she comes out for a quick snack before heading to bed, suggesting he not stay up too late. He waves off the concern, but his investment in the project is loud and clear.

Farkle: Everything else going on right now doesn’t matter. I’ve been stuck on -- and it’s all -- it’s meaningless. What matters is this. The dream. [ ripping something off the board without hesitation ] If I get this right, then everything else won’t matter.

A bit single-minded, but passionate. Passion is a good thing, so this is an improvement if anything. Jennifer gives him a quick kiss on the cheek that he lightly shrugs away from before she heads off, leaving him alone again.

Despite how much progress he’s making, the longer we stay with him the more obvious it is that he’s struggling. He has energy, that’s for sure, but it’s all over the place. He can hardly focus, restless and growing frustrated over nothing in particular.

He takes a second and covers his face, sliding his hands up and tugging at his hair as he exhales. Glancing forward, the spark of an idea glimmers in his eyes.

INT. MINKUS HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Rattles and bumps accompany a handful of pill bottles hitting the countertop. Farkle is digging through the family pill cabinet, searching for something in particular.

Finally, he finds it. A bottle specifically for ADHD, prescribed to Uri Minkus. He opens it and pops a couple of them, tossing everything back into the cabinet haphazardly.

Just has to get through the week. Just the week…

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Lucas is using his brick of a laptop again, room otherwise dark as he works. He’s got a few pamphlets on the bed next to him, and his browser has a dozen or so tabs open with different college sites.

He’s trying to actually take the future seriously, but it’s too much. His focus goes to key words on each page like “prestigious,” “well-rounded,” and “tuition.” The expectations and prices always feel far too high, making him frustrated.

Other words jump out to him too, none more intimidating than “passion.” College is for people who have ambition -- who have potential -- and Lucas knows he has neither.

But he knows this isn’t just going to go away. He switches back to his school email tab, a message open from Eric on screen. It mentions how poorly their first meeting went and requests that Lucas come in for another meeting as soon as possible so they can have a more constructive discussion.

Lucas scowls, slamming the computer shut. He pushes it off the bed along with the pamphlets, falling back onto his mattress. He yanks his blanket towards him and curls up towards the wall, hiding from it all.

Riley, pre-lap: You really don’t think we can do any better than that?

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley is picking away at her assignment as well, but she’s on the phone with Charlie as she works. They’re discussing their English assignment, and from the sound of it they’re not giving it very much effort considering everything else going on. Charlie suggests they keep it simple, but Riley makes a point of still insisting that they meet up after school sometime to work on it.

Charlie: Is it really that important to you?

Riley: … I just like to work face-to-face, that’s all. You know, collaborative communication.

Maya rolls her eyes from her spot on her bed. The conversation is interrupted when Cory raises his voice from the living room, making both girls  jump. Topanga matches his volume a second later, Maya sitting up and locking eyes with Riley.

Riley: I… gotta go.

Riley hangs up without further explanation. Before she can say anything Auggie arrives at her door, looking wide-eyed and concerned as to what is going on out there. He asks Riley what’s happening, and she quickly pulls him into the room out of trouble before rushing out to investigate herself.

Awkwardly, this leaves Maya with Auggie. She glances at him and gives him a tight smile, nodding a ‘sup at a loss of what to offer otherwise.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Riley leans around the doorway to the living room as Topanga and Cory escalate in their argument, obviously both impassioned over it. She can’t even find a time to jump in and try to break it up -- she doesn’t know where to begin.

It doesn’t take long to figure out the problem, however.

Cory: You can’t take them from me. You’ve already taken everything else. You can’t just decide you want to hit the reset button on your life and then take my son with you!

Topanga: Don’t be dramatic, Cory. I’ve told you exactly why but you’re refusing to listen -- the schools are far better upstate, and he’d have a far more stable lifestyle in a neighborhood that’s not the middle of Manhattan.

Cory: [ with a derisive laugh ] Stable? You’re talking about stable?

Topanga: Cory --

Cory: You’re the one who disrupted all of our lives in the first place! So don’t talk to me about stable, Topanga!

So that’s it, then. Topanga isn’t just removing herself from the equation of the Matthews family -- she intends to take Auggie with her. Riley is stunned, stepping into the room but not sure what to even say.

Topanga is done with the discussion anyway. She criticizes Cory’s theatrics again, pulling back on her coat and heading towards the door. She stops once she’s opened it, saying her last piece.

Topanga: I hope this won’t become a big thing. I am the litigator, remember. I think we know who would win a case.

This hits Cory hard. There’s silence in the room after she closes the door behind her, Riley watching her seemingly frozen father warily.

Riley: … dad?

And then it’s over. Cory collapses into a full break down, all of the emotion over the separation that he’s been trying to compartmentalize for the sake of everyone crashing down on him. Riley jogs over to help him and guides him towards the couch, doing her best to comfort him.

But it’s clear Riley doesn’t know how to deal with this development either. Her expression is blank as she hugs her father, totally forgetting about everything else piling up on her plate.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Isadora is in the seat across from Eric, finishing up her discussion about the future. Although she does an excellent job of maintaining a poker face, the conversation between the two of them seems to reflect everything else she’s feeling conflicted about -- where she ends up depends on what she wants to do, and what she wants to do depends on who she is, and how does she begin to figure out who she is when she feels like she’s being pulled in a hundred different directions?

There’s a lot she could choose to dissect about the situation, but Isadora chooses to seek help for none of it. She merely nods along to Eric’s tentative guidance about her choice in schools, but she makes an escape when he tries to get her to talk about what else might be going on. The aloof mask might be fooling others, but it doesn’t fool him.

Today seems to be a particularly difficult day for meetings. SARAH CARLSON acts nonchalant in her one-on-one before bursting into tears, surprising Eric and causing him to cautiously pass the tissue box across the desk. Jade is already on thin ice emotionally and basically refuses to talk at all, speaking only about her future college programs for costuming. Her voice warbles even in discussing that, and Eric is sure if he asks her anything else there will be waterworks.

Dylan is a mess all his own, but more for Eric than himself. All things considered, Dylan is actually quite well-adjusted and happy with his plan for the future -- which is to say, he hardly has a plan at all.

Dylan: I might go to college, but also I don’t know. Seems like a lot of money, especially when I don’t really wanna do anything, you know?

Eric: … what are you hoping to do in the future, then?

Dylan, excitedly: Well, the main thing is to be a good partner, father, and homemaker. My dad had to do that all on his own when my mom died, you know, so he instilled the importance in me from an early age. Then I guess if I have time, I’ll keep making my videos. You’ve seen my vlogs, right? [ with a shrug ] As long as that keeps being fun, I figure I can do that along with being Asher’s number one fan.

Eric: … and you don’t… Dylan, I’m just wondering if… [ quickly ] you’re banking your entire future on Asher, and you don’t think maybe that’s a bit short-sighted?

Dylan: Actually, I’m near-sighted. But I wear contacts.

Eric looks as though he’s going to start crying.

He’s still carrying that exhaustion when Farkle gets in the hot seat, expressing far more “vision” than Dylan. He bullets through his presentation, speaking with confidence but also as if he’s out of breath. He’ll start sentences and then stop them or backtrack to start a different thought, nervously pulling at his hair when he gets distracted.

Once he’s finished, Eric offers him a bright smile. It’s a great plan, lots of ambition and forward-thinking, and he loves to see that. Farkle also clearly put a lot of heart into it, and Eric commends that. The future certainly isn’t worth investing in if there’s no heart.

However… he has to point out the fact that he lacks alternative options. He’s set himself up to have one path, and it’s clear that Eric is concerned about what happens if that path doesn’t work out exactly as planned.

Farkle, blankly: … what?

Eric: Again, I’m not saying that this isn’t an excellent plan. It just lacks periphery, that’s all. You want a contingency plan -- your options that you’ll consider if this one-way ticket doesn’t go as planned.

Farkle: I don’t -- this is the plan. This. There’s nothing else if -- I put a lot of hard work into this.

Eric: I know that, and I’m not saying this won’t work. I’m only suggesting that --

Farkle: I put everything into this. Everything. It’s going to -- you can’t tell me that it -- this is my future!

Eric can tell he’s not taking the conversation well. He attempts to placate, speaking delicately and stating that he’s proud that Farkle has such a sense of belief in what he was meant to do. Many people don’t have that drive, and that’s amazing. But it’s only wise to consider a contingency plan in the off chance that the dream… remains a dream.

Farkle seems as though he might actually have another diva meltdown, it’s written all over his face -- when suddenly he goes completely calm. He thanks Eric for his guidance shortly, gathering his things in a flurry. Eric encourages him to sit back down so they can discuss those options, but he claims he’s heard everything he needs to hear.

Farkle: My future is clear to me now, Mister Matthews. Thank you for your time.

He delivers the sentiment with disarmingly cool confidence. Then he spins on his heel and exits without another word. Eric looks like he’s going to go after him, but a phone call pulls him back to his desk. He assures the teacher on the other line that he’ll be right there, obviously having to go put out another fire.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Farkle walks at a swift pace away from the counselor’s office, but he doesn’t seem to have a set direction. Whereas his facade held up in front of Eric it’s starting to splinter now, his body trembling and breathing shallow. He dumps his presentation materials in the trash without looking, clearly desperate to be rid of them.

Haley: Don’t throw another tantrum.

Haley is just the first voice to address him, Farkle glancing over his shoulder as she passes him. But the glimpse of her is blurry, like it’s just out of the corner of his eye.

Charlie: Guess this isn’t turning out like you thought, huh?

Yindra: Only got yourself to blame that you’re unstable.

Harper: You’re nothing new.

Farkle flinches with every word thrown in his direction. He spins to try and catch them digging at him but whenever he turns to look they’re long gone, evading his anxious glare.

He walks faster, more sentiments from his classmates that have echoed in his head for three years following him through the hall.

Maya: Coward.

Farkle whips around as he slams right into someone -- Maya herself. She tosses him a sneer and tells him to watch where he’s going, only her expression shifts when she gets a better look at him. She hesitates, venturing another word.

Maya: Farkle… are you okay?

Farkle: I -- I’m --

He stares at her, as if just realizing she’s actually there. Then he pushes past her without further comment, jogging towards the auditorium. Maya spins to watch him take off, debating whether or not she should go after him.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The accusations and voices are growing louder, what feels like the entire A class waiting for him in the auditorium as he stumbles in through the wings.

Lucas: Go on, keep spiraling for attention.

Isadora: As if he has a shred of decorum not to.

Clarissa: Hasn’t he had enough drama for a lifetime?

The word “enough” seems to echo particularly strong, leaving a ringing in Farkle’s ears. The jeers continue from all around him, spinning him into a frenzy.

Lila: God, you are such a disease.

Eric: Did you really think that this was going to work out? After --

Riley: Everything you’ve done?

Farkle, breathless: No… no, you forgave me.

Riley: And you think that makes a difference? You think that’s enough?

Farkle screws his eyes shut, turning away from her. He covers his ears but it doesn’t do any good, only accenting the blood pounding in his ears.

Harper: That horrible attitude of yours isn’t --

Farkle: Enough --

Stuart: And when are you going to start thinking seriously about --

Eric: Your future?

Lila: If you’re going just going to waste your existence --

Riley: Running your mouth --

Maya: Consumed with inferiority --

Angela: Do you remember what I told you, Farkle?

Jennifer: I’m sure your friends are --

Maya: Done.

Farkle: Enough --

Asher / Dylan: You don’t even know who you are!

Lucas: Should’ve known this is exactly how things would go.

Stuart: A fad.

Angela: Otherwise it’s just --

Eric: Lacks periphery --

Isadora: Fucking isolated --

Maya: Monster --

Zay: Is it finally --

Farkle: ENOUGH!

His fraught exclamation clears the chaos until there’s nothing but silence, resounding and somehow more imposing than the constant sound. Because it leaves him alone -- and he’s so tired of being alone.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Santa Fe” as performed by Newsies Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Farkle Minkus (starting at 00:22)

Farkle stands center stage, trembling, staring out into the empty house. Standing in the place he’s always felt destined to occupy, only now it doesn’t feel like he belongs there anymore. It’s a dream, nothing more, and he’s a nothing never meant to get it right.

It’s this cold realization that provokes the rawest and most spectacular performance from Farkle Minkus. As he barrels through the desperate plea to escape, it's as though we’re watching him go through the five stages of grief towards the dream that he let totally consume him for as long as he can remember.

And what it leaves behind is a broken shell -- without the dream, he decides, he’s nothing. Empty. “Trapped where there ain’t no future, even at sixteen.”

By the time he makes it to the last few lines and the volume drops to a soft piano, Farkle is back at center stage, right under the spotlight. His eyes are shining in the lights, seeming more fragile and smaller than he’s ever seemed before. As he riles himself back into the final emotional crescendo, he drops to his knees and expels everything he has left in him into those final notes.

Then he collapses in on himself, a huddled form isolated under the spotlight and otherwise surrounded by darkness. The song ends, sending us back into the quiet of the auditorium.

The only sound is Farkle’s muffled sobs, shoulders shaking as the screen smashes to black.

INT. GARDNER HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Charlie is still working on his assignment, drawing a blank as his notebook page is completely empty. How is he supposed to paint a picture of his future when he can barely paint an accurate picture of the present?

He straightens up when his father enters the room, exchanging a comfortable back and forth with him as he settles into the armchair a few feet away and opens the newspaper to read. Charlie hesitates, chewing on the end of his pen before he braves the question of asking Ambrose for advice on his assignment.  

Charlie: I know we already talked about it at dinner the other night, but I’m… I’m still having trouble. I was just wondering if you had any other thoughts or... words of fatherly wisdom?

Ambrose: Well, it’s funny that you think fatherhood comes with wisdom.

Charlie cracks a smile as Ambrose chuckles at his own joke. Then he gives it some thought, clearly taking the matter seriously. It’s easier to talk about it, just the two of them, rather than with the whole family.

Ambrose: Honestly, bud, I think that the most important thing is you choose what makes you happy. You don’t want to spend your whole life doing something that doesn’t feel true to you. Do you know what I mean?

Charlie, tightly: … yeah, I do.

Ambrose gives him a smile, going back to his paper. Charlie drops his head back down to his notebook, expression growing grim. His own father doesn’t even know what’s true to him. If that’s the key to a good future, then he knows he’s damned.

Charlie swallows hard, shutting the notebook.

INT. FOSTER HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Isadora is at the sink, doing dishes for the house even though she clearly would rather be out of sight and out of mind. She’s gritting her teeth as she cleans, on edge from all of the pressure of the week.

STEPHEN VAN HERSCHING brings in the last of the dishes, giving her a grateful smile as he passes them to her. In an attempt to be an attentive parent and work on repairing his relationship with Isadora that seems to have been deteriorating lately, he innocently ventures the question of how school is going. She answers shortly, explaining the gist of the week.

Stephen is interested, eagerly inquiring as to what she’s been thinking about. Only he doesn’t phrase it all that well, and it comes off more like an interrogation than soft interest. Isadora doesn’t keep her mask intact after holding it up all day, snapping.

Isadora: I don’t know, okay! I! DON’T! KNOW!

She starts to go into a meltdown, trying to escape the conversation as KAREN VAN HERSCHING enters the room to see what all the commotion is about. She incidentally also criticizes Isadora for her noise level, stating that she’ll wake her younger siblings. The whole argument turns into a huge miscommunication, the foster parents mistaking her emotion and meltdown for increasingly rude behavior whereas Isadora just really needs space.

It continues to escalate until JERICHO TORRES sees what is going on and runs to get BEATRIX TORRES. She steps in and pulls Isadora out of the situation, flatly telling the Van Herschings that she’ll handle it.

Isadora: I don’t need to be handled! Stop talking about me like I’m not here! I’m here! I’m here! I’m not invisible, I’M HERE!

Beatrix doesn’t take it personally, persisting in removing her from the room. Karen and Stephen share a loaded look.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley has forgone the future entirely and is throwing herself into her new investigation. She scours through Charlie’s social media, currently on Instagram and scrolling way back into last year to look for any sort of indication as to what’s really going on with him. She knows for a fact that he’s all about promoting false narratives, but she doesn’t see where that involves her or when the lines are drawn.

Unfortunately, she makes the cardinal error of lurking. She accidentally double-taps and likes a photo from last year, letting out a loud oh, shit as she frantically unlikes it.

INT. GARDNER HOME - CHARLIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

That doesn’t stop Charlie from getting the notification, though. He’s just getting ready for bed when his phone lights up, displaying that Riley liked his photo. He frowns, opening the app and checking which photo she liked.

It’s a photo from around the time of Les Miserables, so a long way back. Even more concerning, it’s a photo of him and Zay during the phase where they were spending a lot of time together. Riley lurking is confusing enough, but someone zeroing in on him and Zay in particular…

Eric, pre-lap: Why do you think that is?

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Charlie is staring at the desk, seated across from Eric. He’s startled out of his daze, blinking and coming back down to Earth.

Charlie: What?

Eric: You said you were having trouble figuring out your plans. I asked why you thought that might be.

Charlie: Oh. Um, probably just the uncertainty of it. Lots to um… consider.

Charlie is not doing a good job of appearing in top shape like usual. Eric pauses, cautiously shifting gears and attempting to question if there’s anything else going on that Charlie wants to discuss. He mentions a couple of other issues his fellow students have been having in vague terms, gently finding ways to allude to possible identity issues that he might be having. He can remember being in the closet himself, and he evidently wants to help Charlie even if he’s not sure how to go about it.

Evidently, it doesn’t come across as intended. Charlie gets the message, but it only instills more paranoia in him that people are onto him. Riley and Eric are connected after all, and if they know, who else is going to end up in the know?

Eric tries to smooth things over and focus on the positive, highlighting how when Charlie graduates he’ll find a sense of personal freedom and maybe the future won’t seem so complicated to figure out. But with his anxiety, all Charlie can focus on is the here and now, and right now he knows he needs to escape. He thanks Eric for his help, getting up to go.

Flipping back to Eric, he poses a new question.

Eric: You’re absolutely sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?

As we rotate back around, it’s no longer Charlie in the hot seat, but Asher. He’s maintaining his composure, voice even and expression neutral as he confirms that he has nothing to discuss.

But Eric has had Asher as a student for three years, just like the rest of them, and he knows tells when he sees them. Asher might be shy, and has anxiety, but he’s cheery and pleasant more often than not. Usually when he’s in the chair opposite him, the conversation is enjoyable -- far from the strained, succinct exchange they’re having now.

When he rephrases the question, Asher states that he did the assignment and presented it, so he doesn’t know what else he’s expected to be discussing. In fact, he gives him the short version again, speaking slowly and clearly without tripping up once. Rehearsed, practically perfect. Eric relents, but he gives him a piece of advice before he goes that lands.

Eric: You’re well aware of your own limitations and needs, I know that. You demonstrate immense maturity, outshining many of your peers in that regard despite being younger. And you’ve never been trouble -- in fact you’ve helped prevent trouble on a number of occasions. That doesn’t go unnoticed. [ a beat ] I merely suggest that avoiding trouble doesn’t have to mean staying quiet. If you have something you think you need to say, then by all means, you should speak up. In fact, it may do more good than the harm you think it will.

For the first time all meeting, Asher’s neutral demeanor cracks. Uncertainty flashes across his features for half a second, then he pulls it back together and offers a nod.

Asher: Thanks, Mister Matthews. I’ll think about it.

Whether or not he actually will is impossible to tell.

A couple other students occupy the chair opposite him, Eric growing more flustered as they progress. It all culminates with Lucas’s second meeting, and he’s changed his approach from avoiding the topic entirely to going absolutely batshit with his proposals. He’s totally in his element too, acting like he owns the place. He’s got his feet up on the desk, arms behind his head and speaking with a breezy nonchalance.

Lucas: I looked into “space cowboy,” but as it turns out you need a degree in aerospace engineering as well as a license to boy cows, and that seems like a lot of work. So then I thought, well, if I don’t have the capacity to work, what else is there in this capitalistic hell we call society? Sure, I could probably enter myself in human cage fights and scrap to death for spare change, but I think that would hurt after a while and to be honest, I think I’d feel a bit like a piece of meat if I took up that mantle. Who would I be fighting to impress? The bourgeoisie? Hard pass.

Eric: I --

Lucas: But after some deep, probing soul-searching, I finally hit the one. [ a beat ] Trophy husband.

Eric: That --

Lucas: Now, I know what you’re thinking. To accomplish such a grand ambition, I’d have to get someone to like me. And that’s a pretty hefty task, believe me I know, but I’ve devised a work around. This is, as Dave would say, galaxy-brained thinking, Mister E. [ holding out his arms ] I’m going to put an ad on Craigslist.

He’s finally done it -- Eric Matthews is at a loss for words. He’s completely stumped as to where to take this conversation, as Lucas has driven it right off the cliffside and effectively derailed any meaningful discussion.

Lucas: My only trouble is that I cannot decide whether I should advertise myself as “seeking companionship,” or if I should just forgo that entirely and tell it like it is -- that I really don’t have anything to offer and I’ll pretty much do whatever as long as they pay me. But does that make me sound trampy? I’m white trash, yeah, but I do have standards, you know?

As much as he’s enjoying giving Eric an ulcer, Lucas’s fun comes to an end the moment the door opens behind him. His eyes widen as JACK HUNTER enters, immediately glaring at him with his feet up looking so high and mighty. He snaps at him for wasting all of their time, knocking his legs off the desk.

Jack: And get your feet off the table, who do you think you are?

Lucas: [ straightening up, sheepish ] I thought this meeting was a one-on-one.

Jack: It was. But you had your first chance, and as far as I can tell it looks like you’re fumbling this one too. So here we are, third time’s the charm. Don’t strike out.

Jack crosses his arms, standing next to Eric and watching as the counselor tentatively attempts to explain to Lucas that he brought him in because he was having difficulty getting an honest conversation out of him. He thought if he had another mentor present, he might be willing to take the discussion more seriously.

Lucas: [ under his breath ] Don’t flatter him.

Jack: Well, either way, I’m here. So let’s talk, shall we? Do you want to talk about why you’re insisting on being such a --

Eric: Thoughtful words, thoughtful words…

Jack: … why you’re making things so difficult for no reason, or do you just wanna jump right to the part where we try again?

Bravado dismantled, Lucas gets bristly as Jack forces him to actually consider his options for the future. With actual pressure to deliver, the issue becomes plain as day pretty quickly -- Lucas doesn’t want to think about the future because as far as he’s concerned…

Lucas, snapping: What do you want me to say? I don’t have any plans! [ cracking ] I have no talent and I have no drive, so what’s the fucking point? You want my future? Great, here it is -- I don’t have one!

Lucas jumps to his feet, knocking over a bunch of stuff before storming out. Eric flinches, obviously reaching an emotional breaking point himself this week. Jack frowns, clambering over the stuff on the floor to call after him.

Jack: Lucas! LUCAS JAMES!

He’s long gone. Jack turns to look at Eric over his shoulder, shaking his head in disbelief.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Loser” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by Asher Garcia & Dylan Orlando (feat. AAA Juniors)

Lucas storms down the hall, passing right by Dylan leaning against the wall. He’s strumming the guitar opening to the number, only he doesn’t quite… look like himself. The discrepancy is in how he’s dressed, sporting a lot of dark hues for the kid who wears bright yellow at any given opportunity.

As the camera pans away from him, it slowly finds its way to Asher. He’s following the performance dress code, dressed completely unlike himself in dark jeans and a grungy long sleeve crew neck. However, it’s the snapback that gives it away -- they’re both channeling Lucas, some sort of weird representation of him rather than actually themselves.

Asher kicks off the song, Dylan sauntering up still playing his guitar as they stride through the halls. They both look directly at the camera, the breaking of the fourth wall creating a pointed discomforting feeling. They look away at the end of the first verse, turning to face one another with the same sullen expressions on their faces. Dave and Nate join them, dressed similarly, Dave delivering the “yo,” before they launch into the rest of the song.

From there, the general conceit of the number becomes crystal clear. Wherever Lucas is -- in class, in the booth, walking through the halls, the crew of them are right behind him echoing the same exhausted sentiment. He can’t escape it no matter where he goes, and as the song progresses, more and more of his classmates join the throng. I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me? Why don’t you kill me?!

In the bridge, as the music seems to play backwards and in warped tones, the image of the A class becomes warped as well. They’re seated along the edge of the stage, looking towards the booth, but it’s all jarring close ups and looped moments. It’s familiar, but it’s not reality. A representation of how easily someone’s perspective can be bent...

Back in the hallway, there’s one potential light moment of reprieve, when Dave seems to forget the message and changes into more positive thinking (“I’m a driver, I’m a winner,”). But Lucas glares at him, then shoves him out of frame.

By the end of the song, what feels like the entire student body of AAA is marching behind Lucas as he moves through the halls, a resounding chorus asking why no one will kill them.

It only comes to an end when Lucas finally snaps, whipping around and shouting at them.

Lucas: Oh my God, could you SHUT. UP?

Only when he spins and marches away, Dylan, Asher, and the rest of them aren’t there. The hallway is completely empty.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Lucas isn’t the only one who feels like he’s losing his mind. Charlie is on edge as he makes his way through the halls, nearly bumping into people and apologizing offhandedly.

Zay is waiting for him by his locker, noticing his odd demeanor immediately. He straightens up and asks what’s going on and if he’s okay, but Charlie isn’t focused on that.

Charlie: What are you doing here? You can’t just stand at my locker.

The statement isn’t said harshly (distractedly would be a better descriptor), but it still stings. Zay tries not to take it personally, instead trying to figure out what the hell is up with him. Charlie is over it a second later anyway, starting half of a conversation while glancing over his shoulder. He spins his locker combination but doesn’t open it, hands shaking.

Zay takes his upper arm and gets him to look at him, asking again if everything is okay. Charlie hesitates, examining him and trying to decide whether to talk about any of it. But he knows Zay is already having a rough week, and he doesn’t want to burden him with his stupid bullshit that he still hasn’t been able to get over after eight months. He’s already being unfair to him and he knows it, not to mention he fears that if he starts opening up, he won’t be able to stop.

So he deflects instead, claiming everything is fine despite every obvious sign that it isn’t. Distracted and without thinking, he leans forward and gives Zay a kiss on the cheek before jogging off to get away.

Zay is stunned, freezing and absorbing the moment. He looks around them to make sure no one else noticed, then looks over his shoulder with a bewildered frown at the direction Charlie ran in. But he’s already long gone.

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - DAY

Charlie darts into the dressing room hall, running right into Clarissa and Haley. They greet him, asking him how his meeting with Eric went. Clarissa notices his weird behavior first, pointing out that he’s sweating. They ask him if he’s okay and he breathlessly states he’s fine, although his delivery is not convincing.

Haley: Are you sure? You look kind of pale.

Clarissa: We can walk you to the nurse?

Haley: Or we can talk about --

Charlie: I can’t. I can’t talk -- I can’t talk right now. I’m sorry, I have to --

Charlie darts away from them, pushing deeper into the auditorium. Clarissa and Haley exchange hesitant looks, obviously wondering if they should go after him or leave him be. This week has everyone in hysterics, after all.

INT. AAA - COSTUME LOFT - DAY

Charlie doesn’t find sanctuary until he gets to the costume loft, relieved to find that no one else is around. He lets out a painful exhale and stumbles onto the platform, legs shaking so much that he basically collapses into a pile of costumes. He starts to push himself back up but then pauses, giving up and laying back against them in defeat.

He presses his palms to his eyes, trying to talk himself down from the panic. The words start as variations on telling himself to breathe and transform into a prayer, Charlie murmuring a plea for God to be with him before repeating a Bible verse he’s got memorized like the back of his hand. He continues to mutter it to himself, until he can breathe and the room stops spinning.

When he finally pulls his hands back from his face, Charlie stares listlessly at the ceiling. Wondering how he ended up like this, fearing that it’s always going to be this way.

That he’s never going to be able to properly breathe again.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Exhale” as performed by Sabrina Carpenter || Performed by Charlie Gardner

Whereas the other performances of the episode have been surprisingly grand and a bit of a spectacle, the power of this request for a reprieve is in its simplicity. There’s no fanfare, no blurred lines between what’s real and what is not, just Charlie and his soft tenor and his sheer, utter exhaustion.

The entire first verse and chorus stay solely on Charlie, slowly easing out of a close up until we’re further and further away from him, making him feel smaller than he is. The second verse takes us back into the darkened auditorium, Charlie walking behind the back curtain along the wall where all of the Class 2 x 4s are.

Every year, the freshman class adds their plank of wood to the wall, signing with their initials. It’s an AAA tradition, and it’s what Charlie focuses on as he wanders aimlessly. On “try to keep a sense of knowing who I am,” he lightly brushes his fingers over his own initials from two and a half years ago. His expression twists as he sings “I try to be an angel but I don’t think I can,” holding back tears as he slouches back against the wall to finish the verse.

He rounds out the number back in the costume loft, managing to push himself into a sitting position and propping his elbows on his knees. He forces himself to breathe as he finishes out the song, then puts his head against his knees and shuts out everything else.

Breathing, for just one second, as if that’ll be enough.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Lucas is at his locker, a storm brewing behind his eyes. Riley spots him from down the hall and jogs over to join him, seemingly happy to see him. She starts talking to him eagerly, lamenting how crazy the week has been and how relieved she is that it’s almost over.

Searching for a safe place to vent, she almost starts talking about her parents given how that has been weighing on her all week as well, but unfortunately Lucas is far from stable ground right now. He interrupts her, voice dull.

Lucas: Why are you talking to me?

Riley: … because I -- I thought we talked about this. I thought when we talked during group week --

Lucas: Well you thought wrong. You’re wasting your time, and I’m wasting everybody else’s, so don’t bother.

Riley: … what are you talking about? Lucas --

Lucas: Riley, I...

He locks eyes with her, the sentiment hanging unfinished between them. She holds his gaze, wide-eyed, waiting for him to speak.

One step forward, two steps back. Whatever he might’ve said, he chooses not to, too embroiled in the chorus of negativity echoing in his own head. Riley could do much better than him, he knows, so it’s about time she realized it too.

Lucas, half-heartedly: Just leave me alone.

He shuts his locker, marching away from her. Riley stares after him, completely dumbstruck.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Zay is in the auditorium, looking for Charlie. He happens to run into someone else on the hunt, Angela entering through the wings and greeting him. She questions whether or not he’s seen Farkle, as she has been trying to catch him all week and seems to be constantly missing him. Zay claims he hasn’t.

Whereas it seems like he wants there to be more to say, Angela thanks him and starts heading out. There’s a moment where it seems like Zay might just swallow the dismissal, like he always does, but this time something in him snaps.

Zay: Don’t you have anything you’d like to say to me?

Angela whips around, a bit surprised. She pleasantly asks if there’s something he wants to talk about, which seems to frustrate him more. At first he brushes off the question, but then doubles back and states that there is. That there’s a toxic, broken culture here at AAA, and in some ways it's her fault.

This kind of declaration is unusual coming from Zay, and Angela is understandably taken aback. She tries to defend herself but he doesn’t let her interject, growing more worked up the more he gets to speak. He laments the fact that this school is so built on favorites, and Angela has been feeding that culture since day one. She’s still doing it, making a point of enthusiastically greeting Maya and making special time to catch up with Farkle while saying fuck all to the rest of them.

Zay: Don’t you think that I might want to catch up with the teacher who was supposed to have been fostering my talent for two years? Don’t you think Yindra, or Nigel, or Haley or literally anybody else other than the Diva Twins might want a scrap of your attention?

Angela: Zay, I fully believe that all of you --

Zay: It’s easy to say you believe in someone, Miss Moore. Showing up for them is a different story. [ a beat ] And you chose who you’re backing from the first time we set foot on this stage.

He says his piece, storming past her. Angela absorbs the blow, knowing that the emotion is somewhat misdirected but still feeling the sting. She stands alone on the stage, overcome with nostalgia and wondering if the impact she left behind was all that good after all.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Riley is at a limit of her own, breaking down in the chair across from Eric. This meeting has nothing to do with the future -- this is all about right now, and it’s clear that Riley is losing her ability to cope. Still, there’s nothing she hates more than crying in front of others, so she’s a sniffling, embarrassed mess as she laments the state of affairs. The tissue she’s gripping in her fist is less tissue and more so just shreds after so much crumpling and twisting.

She admits that she’s been using other people as her distraction, but the fact is she can’t keep running from it. Her life is in shambles, and now her family is legitimately falling apart. She’s been trying to keep things together, but whenever she gets one thing straightened out another just crashes out of nowhere and she can’t keep up with it. She can’t do it anymore.

Eric frowns, getting up from his desk. He pulls over the other chair against the wall, sitting next to her instead of separated behind administrator lines.

Eric: I’m swapping hats for a second here. Counselor out, uncle in. I’m very versatile, I don’t know if you knew.

Riley can’t help but laugh, although it’s weak. Eric goes on to say that he genuinely can imagine how she’s feeling. This week in particular has been a challenge unlike anything he’s felt in a long time, and there are days where he wishes he didn’t have to come in and face it.

Eric: But, and I know this isn’t what you want to hear, the only thing I can say is to keep doing your best. Keep being compassionate, even when it’s hard.

Riley: How? I mean, how do you do that?

Eric, with a shrug: It’s the only thing I know how to do. I can’t imagine moving forward without it.

An honest confession, and something that seems to resonate with Riley. And if Eric is still going after all these years, then she supposes she’ll be able to as well. Somehow.

She dabs at her eyes, offering him a smile when he reaches out and pats her shoulder. A sorely needed moment of unity amidst all of the destruction.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY

Asher and Dylan have followed Lucas into the tech booth, the latter still in a foul mood. Dylan is doing his usual approach of trying to lighten the mood and echoing Lucas’s derisive commentary about how stupid all of this is, but Asher is hanging back. He’s hesitant as Lucas collapses into the rolling chair, once again bluntly claiming that his future is shit anyway, so why should he even bother?

Asher, after a moment: Well, don’t you think that’s a bit self-defeatist?

[ The booth goes quiet. Lucas glances at him, obviously surprised he’s arguing the counterpoint. ]

Lucas: Huh?

[ More quiet. Asher glances at Dylan, who is staring at him, wondering what he’s going to do next. ]

Asher: I’m just saying. By deciding prematurely that you have no future, you’re sort of inherently guaranteeing that you won’t have one. Self-fulfilling prophecy, we learned about that in English.

Lucas: You think I pay attention to anything Matthews has to say?

Asher: [ with waning patience ] My point is that if you don’t take the time to really think about what you can do, then you’re right, you won’t do anything. And I think that would be a pretty big shame.

Lucas, with a snort: Please, tell me how you really feel.

There’s an odd tension in the air that’s never been there between the trio before. Or perhaps it has, growing more and more potent the longer they’ve elected to ignore it. The dismissive comment only exacerbates it, Asher frowning. He steps past Dylan and approaches the lighting board, standing face-to-face with Lucas.

Asher: You want me to tell you how I really feel?

Lucas: If you think you can.

Asher: Fine. [ dropping his bag on the table pointedly ] I think you’re being stupid.

Lucas scoffs, but Asher isn’t done. He elaborates, pointing out all of the ways that Lucas has been sabotaging himself this entire year when it feels as though things could improve even a fraction if he just cut it out. It’s an impressive catalogue of points, being delivered expertly from someone who has clearly been paying close attention and bottling it all up.

Asher: You’re being stupid about this assignment, when if you just took it seriously you might realize you could actually do lots of things with the right resources. That’s what Eric and Jack are there for.

Lucas: Yeah, well --

Asher: You’re being stupid about Riley, who has been nothing but nice to you despite you treating her like garbage.

Lucas, defensively: Don’t talk about her --

Dylan: [ with a nervous laugh ] Guys, come on --

Asher: And you’re being stupid about the way you treat everyone else, including people who just want what’s best for you. You keep pushing, and pushing, and it’s like you want the rubber band to finally snap. [ exasperated ] Look at that and tell me it’s not fucking stupid!

Lucas: Well, what do you expect? Who are you talking to?

Asher: That’s the worst part about it! That’s what’s so frustrating is that I know you’re not stupid, Lucas. I know that, but it’s like you don’t. Either that or you just don’t care, and I don’t know which one is worse!

The can of worms has been opened, and it’s not going to be put away so easily. Dylan attempts to deescalate the discussion but it just keeps spiraling, Lucas and Asher’s voices rising the more they go back and forth. Asher complains that all they’re trying to do is support him because that’s why they’re friends, and all he’s doing is rebuffing them. Lucas finally rises from his seat, glaring at him with at least his height dominance back intact.

Lucas: Oh, you wanna know why we’re friends? [ flatly ] It’s because you wanna fix me.

Asher: What the hell are you talking about?

Dylan: Guys --

Lucas: Come on, we both know it’s true. You’re the reasonable one, put together and perfect, and I’m the trainwreck. It’s great, too, because it’s like a double win. I get you to do all this crazy and ridiculous stuff, and for five seconds you feel cool. Then you get to go home to your perfect house and your perfect family and forget about it, until the next time you want to let loose. I make you feel good about yourself.

Dylan: Hey, seriously --

Asher: Is that seriously what you think?

Lucas: [ mockingly ] It’s what I know! I am just like the most fascinating little mess for you to tidy up, to placate to that incessant, neurotic need you have to put everything in perfect order. Only now I’m not doing it right, I’m not running right anymore, and isn’t it so annoying when your perfect little toy train won’t run off the tracks exactly the way you want it to.

Asher, voice cracking: I can’t believe --

Lucas: Well, I’m sorry, spaghetti! I’m sorry that you have to settle and deal with one thing in your life that isn’t absolutely fucking perfect!

Dylan, harshly: HEY!

Dylan has moved forward, nearly stepping between them and holding out a hand to keep Lucas back. It’s as if his presence snaps him out of it, Lucas staring at him and realizing just how intense the situation has become. Dylan is looking at him with wide eyes, his anger only lasting as long as it took to get them both to hold off and having faded to shock.

Asher’s expression is harder. He’s glaring at Lucas, eyes glassy, clenching his jaw. Lucas hesitates, clearly wanting to say something, but Asher moves before he can speak. He snatches his bag off the table, clutching it close as he marches to the steps and exits out of the booth without another word.

Dylan whips around and watches him leave, mouth hanging open slightly. Lucas stares after him, expression shifting to something like hurt, before he spins away from the door and crashes back into the chair. He stays facing away from Dylan, who is still standing frozen in the middle of the booth.

Lucas: Well? Aren’t you going to go after him?

There’s a pause. Dylan blinks, returning to a state of impressive calm in spite of the chaos. He shifts back towards Lucas, eyeing him sadly.

Dylan: Yes. But I want to make sure you’re okay, too.

Lucas: [ snorting ] Why?

Dylan: … because I know you don’t mean it. I don’t know what’s going on, but… I know you didn’t mean it.

Lucas can’t look at him. He chews the inside of his cheek, picking at a hangnail.

Dylan: We’re friends, Lucas. We care about you. Asher wasn’t lying about that. [ a beat ] And when you decide you want to do something about this, we’ll be there. When you need us... we’re going to be there for you. No matter what.

Lucas has picked at the hangnail badly enough to draw blood. Dylan doesn’t wait for a response, looking at him for a moment longer before descending down the steps and leaving him alone.

Lucas curses under his breath, hiding his head in his hands.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Maya’s phone lights up on the bed, Katy’s picture filling the screen. Maya enthusiastically moves away from her future moodboard and reaches to grab it, picking up and excitedly greeting her. They catch up on how Katy is settling in back home in Vermont, and Maya gives her the low down on how insane the week has been but how bright her future feels. She boldly assures her mom that she’s great when she asks, repeating how well the week went for her.

But that’s not what Katy is asking, really. She knows her daughter better than she knows herself, and she knows how good she is at deflecting. So when she questions once again is everything is really fine…

The walls come down. Maya chews her lip and tries not to let the tears fall but they do anyway, the facade crumbling as she lets out a shaky “no.” Then it’s spilling out of her, all of the things that are far from going right. How it feels like her entire class is imploding, how she’s willing to do whatever it takes for the dream but being cut throat has become exhausting, how no matter how obsessively she outlines her future she’s gripped by the fear that it isn’t going to pan out. That she’s going to be a failure, just like her father and like 90% of the people who walk the halls of Adams.

Most predominantly, more than any of that, she misses Farkle Minkus.

Maya, tearfully: I know I said I was done with him, I told him we were… but I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. He hurt me, and what I’ve always thought is that when someone hurts you, you get rid of them. That’s what we did with dad, basically. [ a beat ] But then… I don’t know.

Katy: Baby girl, few people in your life are going to hurt you like your dad did.

[ Maya scrunches her face, wiping at the tears on her cheeks. ]

Katy: I wish I had the right answer, but things like this are never going to be obvious. There will always be pros and cons to every decision. But from what you’re saying to me… it sounds like you don’t want to say goodbye quite yet.

Maya lets out another whimper, pressing her palm to her eyes. When she resurfaces, she lets out a sigh and shakes her head.

Maya, weakly: I wish you were here.

Honestly, don’t we all. Katy returns the sentiment, Maya settling back into the corner of her bed and staying on the phone with her mom for a while longer.

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

Riley and Charlie are working in the English classroom, the only two still around after school on Friday. Riley has lost her investigative fire after her conversation with Eric, treating the project as exactly what it is and nothing more.

For what it’s worth, this seems to loosen up some of the awkwardness between them. For once, they’re not both trying to pick apart one another’s every move. They actually work quite well together, diligently getting the work done and even exchanging some tired but entertaining banter while they go.

Once they declare they’re pretty close to finishing, Charlie claims he needs to go run and grab his dance duffle from the practice room where he left it. When he gets back, they should be able to wrap this thing up. Riley nods agreeably, focusing back on the final touches while he jogs out of the room.

The quiet is disrupted by Charlie’s phone, vibrating on the table top. Riley glances at it, but then forces herself to ignore it. She’s done snooping after all… only the contact name that lights up the screen catches her interest.

After a moment of indecision, Riley glances at the door before gently sliding the phone closer to her so she can read the lock screen. Over the saved background of Charlie with his younger sisters, a couple of messages from Zay sit unread on the screen.

“Hey couldn’t find you after school, you still here? you seemed a little out of it yesterday. hope everything is okay”

“Craziest thing happened with miss moore, i’ll tell you all about it. in the usual studio”

The last text message comes through as Riley is taking the phone into her hands, shock taking over her features as she reads it.

“Love you”

Riley is staring at the phone, speechless.

Charlie: What the hell are you doing?

She shoots her head up to find Charlie standing in the doorway with his duffle. He’s staring at her, mortified, and she’s mirroring his panicked expression to a tee.

Busted.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Zay glances up from his phone just in time to avoid ramming right into Harper. Both of them apologize, laughing off one another’s pleasantries. She asks if he has a second to talk, gesturing him into the black box.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Harper is calm as she explains that Angela told her about their confrontation on the stage. Zay jumps into defensive mode, claiming that he doesn’t regret what he said.

Harper: I understand, Zay. I agree with you.

Zay: Well, I -- oh. Oh, good. [ a beat ] Really?

Harper cracks a smile, sauntering back over to join him at the desks. She settles into sitting on top of one, admitting that she knows exactly what Zay is talking about and she thinks Angela knows it too. When she told her about what happened, she did not seem like she was denying her fault in the situation.

Realizing that this environment might be safer than he thought, Zay hesitates before really getting into what’s been needling him all week --and really, all year.

Zay: I just don’t get what else I’m supposed to do. It’s like, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to. I’m trying and I’m trying and giving everything I’ve got. And all I know is that when I went out there in the real world, when we put our stuff to the test, I came out on top. Kossal looked at all of us and chose me, I was identified as the top player.

Harper: Rightfully so, I’m sure.

Zay: I was the one worth acknowledging, worth accolading, worth… stepping up to be proud of. So how can that be true, but in every other way it’s the opposite? I’m still just shoved into the background?

Harper empathizes. She states she knows exactly what he’s talking about -- favoritism, especially in their industry, is as old as time itself. Not to mention the layers being a person of color adds to that struggle.

Harper: I recognize it, believe me. You work three times harder than everyone else, and no one respects it. You have to be ambitious and driven like the others, yet also be kind and well-liked and not ruffle any feathers.

Zay: Courtesy is the deadest art form at AAA, yes.

Harper: The unfortunate truth is, teachers aren’t perfect. [ off his eye roll, smirking ] Shocking, I know. But we make mistakes just as easily as students do, and unintentional favoritism is likely the most common offense. That has nothing to do with you, though, as you’ve clearly figured out.

She goes on to explain that the other unfortunate truth to an industry like theirs is that sometimes, even your very best is never enough. There are always factors you can’t control, people more talented or better connected than you, and a million reasons to write you off versus the handful of people will choose to acknowledge to uplift you. It’s not an easy world, as she’s sure he’s well aware.

Harper: I don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but the truth is it all comes down to endurance. How long you can take it, how long you can stick it out until it ends up being your shot. The true test of who lives the dream is who hangs on… and who gives up.

Not all that inspiring, but honest. Zay evidently appreciates it as he nods, thanking her for taking the time to listen. Despite how rough the transition has been, he does think she’s a good teacher. The comment seems to resonate with Harper, who gives him a grateful smile.

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

Charlie breaks the ice first, dropping his duffle bag as he darts into the room. He snaps at Riley for looking through his things, snatching the phone out of her hands in a frenzy. She flinches, trying to regain her bearings on the situation. She stammers out an apology, Charlie turning away from her and reading the texts that she saw for herself.

Silence settles over the room again. Charlie stays turned away from her, no longer breathing. Riley slowly rises to her feet, not sure what to say next.

Riley: That… um. [ tentatively ] Are…  are you -- ?

Charlie: You can’t tell anyone.

Charlie whips around, locking eyes with her. His eyes are wide and he’s shaking again, already on the verge of another panic attack. Only this one is bound to be worse, because the looming fear that he’s going to be found out is now a very real threat.

Charlie: Riley, you can’t. You can’t tell anyone.

Riley: I wasn’t going to --

Charlie, hyperventilating: You can’t. Riley, you can’t. You can’t tell anyone, okay, you can’t -- !

Riley: Charlie. Charlie!

Riley reaches out and takes his arms, getting him to stop cold. She holds his terrified gaze, aware of how he’s literally shaking in her hands.

Riley, sincerely: I would never tell anyone.

There’s an excruciatingly tense moment between them, Charlie having to determine whether or not he believes her. Neither of them move, neither of them breathe. You could hear a pin drop.

Then he lets out an exhausted exhale, nodding and muttering an affirmation. He slips from her grasp, stepping around her and collapsing back into his seat at the desk. Riley stays where she is for a moment, attempting to process what the hell she just learned.

Once she catches up, she spins back to look at him with his face hidden in his hands. She lightly claims she knows what he’s going through -- well, not exactly, but being pansexual definitely gives her a sense of what he might be experiencing. She knows she was lucky to not have many factors keeping her from sharing that side of herself, and she’s sorry that he feels like he does.

Riley: I can’t imagine what that must be like, trying to hide such a big part of yourself. What you might feel like you have to do, like holding things back and… [ realizing ] controlling the narrative.

The Confessions posts. Suddenly, it feels glaringly obvious.

Charlie, under his breath: Fucked. It’s all fucked

Riley frowns sympathetically, cautiously sliding back into her seat next to him. She looks at him, searching for something to say that might be easier to discuss.

Riley: So… Zay?

Charlie takes a deep breath, still hiding in his hands. But after a moment, he nods. Riley smiles.

Riley: That’s great. Honestly, that’s amazing. It’s about time someone appreciated Zay for how wonderful he is. I guess I noticed he had been happier, actually, I just wasn’t sure… [ a beat ] How long?

Charlie lifts his head, inhaling slowly. When he speaks, although he’s backed off the ledge, his voice is shaky.

Charlie: Eight months. [ softer ] But feels like longer.

Riley’s eyes widen, stunned. That long and nobody knows… but on the other hand, it’s hard not to be endeared. It’s so obvious from how delicately he talks about it how much the relationship means to Charlie.

Charlie: I know it’s so stupid. All the stress I’m putting myself through.

Riley: It’s not stupid.

Charlie: It is. Like, maybe it’s not, but it is. I’m just still trying to… I’m not sure how this is supposed to work. It’s like I’ve got this one version of reality, where like… everything is in black and white. There’s good and there’s bad and there’s black and there’s white, and it’s my job to stay clearly on one side. And I do, I do a good job of it, and that’s why the show goes on. It’s not ideal, but it’s manageable. It’s what I know, and you can settle for what you know when you don’t know any different.

Riley listens attentively. Charlie is clearly working through these thoughts for the first time, hesitating and grimacing and stammering over the words. The next statement, however, he says with breathless certainty.

Charlie: Then, there’s Zay, and it’s like… we’re in technicolor. [ a beat ] How are you supposed to go back to settling for black and white when you’ve seen the rainbow?

Riley smiles again. Her voice is soft when she tells him that it’s going to work out, and he’s going to figure it out. When he questions how she can be so certain about that, she admits that she isn’t, but it’s kind of her thing, being hopeful. As someone important reminded her, it’s really all they have.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Rainbow” as performed by Kesha || Performed by Riley Matthews & Charlie Gardner

Riley starts off the duet tentatively, transitioning pretty smoothly from their conversation (“I used to live in the darkness / dressed in black act so heartless / but now I see that colors are everything”). She carries through the first verse, smiling lightly and encouraging Charlie to relax and allow himself a smile as well. In this moment, they’re safe. It’s okay.

Charlie picks up the second verse. He brings a little more emotion to the arrangement, clearly needing the catharsis of finally getting to be open for the first time in what feels like his entire life. The two of them pass the harmonies back and forth, performing well as a duo when the situation isn’t forced in some unidentifiable way. Finally both on the same page.

As the last verse wraps up, Riley reaches forward and takes his hand. They keep their fingers joined together straight through to the end, the camaraderie obviously a relief to Charlie.

Focus hangs on the hand hold, a symbol of coming together when it feels as though everything is falling apart.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Isadora swings by Eric’s office, poking her head in and a bit surprised to find him still around. When he greets her and asks what the expression on her face is for, she admits that she figured after the hell week they had, he’d be running off to escape for the weekend faster than anyone else. He certainly would’ve earned that right, at least.

Eric laughs, nodding in acquiescence. But he’s survived this week for years now at AAA, and he figures he’ll survive a handful more before retirement comes to free him. He turns the tables and gently asks Isadora how she’s feeling at the conclusion of this week -- he got the sense she wasn’t being entirely forthcoming during their structured meeting.

Isadora hesitates, then caves. She admits he’s correct, sauntering in and slowly settling into one of the chairs. He keeps the atmosphere casual, coming to lean against the front of his desk. She states that things aren’t going all that well at home, but she figures the social worker must’ve already passed that intel to him.

Eric: And the future?

Isadora: … honestly… I don’t know. I don’t even have right now worked out. I’ve been thinking about it all week, hoping that a clear path would just emerge. But instead I just fell down a lot of sinkholes instead.

Eric: Any injuries to report?

Isadora: Maybe internally. [ a beat ] But they’ll heal.

Eric: And so…

Isadora: And so… right now, I don’t know. Nigel said it was better to have lots of options rather than one or none at all, so I guess he’s right. As for which one is the right one… no idea.

Eric: And you know? That’s totally okay.

Eric goes on to state that the point of the week, despite its reputation, isn’t to get them to make definitive irreversible decisions about their prospects. It’s just to get them thinking about it, to get those wheels turning so that when that time does come around, hopefully they’ll already have a little bit of clarity.

Eric: And considering you’re Isadora De La Cruz, I am positive you’ll work it out.

Isadora accepts the compliment shyly, offering a small smile. Then she asks him how he’s faring. He had to carry everyone’s baggage even more than usual, and that can’t be fun. He seems touched by the fact that she’s asking at all, and he admits that he’s got some things going on in his own life that aren’t helping matters.

Isadora: Well, can I offer you some advice?

Eric, with a laugh: Sure.

Isadora: Whatever you’re struggling with, maybe it would help to get to talk about it with someone who can help, too. I feel better after coming in here and talking to you, so maybe you’ll feel better if you go and give yourself the same opportunity. If it’s with someone who can actually address the things you’re grappling with, even better.

Not bad advice. Eric jokes that maybe Isadora has a career in counseling in her future, which earns a snort out of her. She gets up and thanks him one last time, heading towards the door.

Eric: No… thank you.

Isadora nods, disappearing from the doorway. Eric takes a moment to breathe, glancing at the office around him. Having survived another week, for better or for worse.

INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY

Angela finds SHAWN HUNTER hidden away in his cramped office, the two of them exchanging jokes about how it’s typical for him to stay out of sight during check-in week. In his defense, he claims, his presence sometimes only adds stress. Angela can’t argue with that.

She comes to sit with him, settling casually onto his lap. She gently approaches the topic of what happened with Zay, and the conversation she had with Harper afterwards. She feels bad for having made their students feel that way, and she’s realizing that maybe the way the two of them approached working at AAA isn’t the only, or even the best, way to go about things.

Maybe, Angela concludes pointedly, it might be better to stop combatting the change and embrace it for what it’s worth. Harper might just surprise him. Shawn is reluctant simply due to embarrassment for his behavior, but Angela softens the blow by giving him a quick kiss.

Much to consider moving forward, that’s for sure.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay is in the studio as he said he would be, working hard as usual. Not yet spooked away from his passion, Harper’s talk with him giving him more perspective than acting as a deterrent.

Charlie finally makes it there, and this time it's his turn to hang in the doorway and watch Zay dance. He crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe, expression softening and a light smile blooming onto his face. It’s the most content he’s looked all week.

When Zay spins out of a dance step he spots him, expressing relief. He asks where he’s been -- he feels like he hasn’t seen him all day. Charlie apologizes, sauntering into the room and asking what happened with Angela that he wanted to tell him about. Zay pauses, then shrugs.

Zay: Nothing. It’s not important. Miss Burgess is pretty cool, though.

Charlie: Yeah?

Zay: Yeah. Nothing like Miss Moore, but maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.

Charlie shrugs. Seeing as they’ve come up on Friday, Zay playfully questions if Charlie has figured out his grand plans for the future. He shakes his head, clasping his hands together in front of him as he comes to stand in front of his boyfriend.

Charlie: I don’t think I can know what I’m going to be then until I like… know myself now. Or feel like I know myself more consistently than I do at the moment.

Gently, Charlie reaches for Zay’s hands. The latter hesitates, examining him curiously and well aware that they’re still in public school property despite how much this studio feels like their own safe haven. But Charlie seems comfortable with the gesture, dipping his head down to look at their joined hands.

Charlie also quietly informs him that Riley now knows, which is major news. Zay immediately asks how it went, how she reacted, but from Charlie’s calm demeanor he can only assume it didn’t go horribly. He confirms it, admitting that it wasn’t the end of the world. As for what that means for the future...

Charlie: I just hope that… I don’t know. I hope that when I get there, I’ll be… happy. Content, at least.

Zay, lightly teasing: Big ask.

Charlie: I know. Feels like it, but… [ locking eyes with him ] I know it’s possible. I know it when I feel it.

The subtext of the message goes without saying. Zay smiles, rubbing his thumbs over the back of his hands. Charlie takes it a step further, leaning forward and starting a soft kiss. It’s tentative, new for different reasons, like being in a place where potentially anybody could see. But it’s sweet and it lingers, Zay smiling when they pull apart.

Charlie presses his forehead against his, staying in the moment while he can. Holding onto the safety of this thing, this place right now, when the future remains wholly uncertain.

Eric, pre-lap: Thanks for being here with me.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Eric finishes filling a mug from his coffee maker. The cup is steaming as he hands it to Jack, who takes it with a tentative but grateful smile. He admits he’s surprised Eric invited him to come do their usual tradition of ending this hell week with one another, considering how… off things have been between them.

Eric acknowledges that, admitting that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about that. He starts to apologize but Jack beats him to it, murmuring about how he knows he shouldn’t have kept things from him. He does trust him, and he values him more than anything. There’s no one better at what he does -- this week alone is evident enough of that -- and he’s grateful that he’s there keeping the ship running with him. He regrets what he said to him, and hopes he’ll believe him when he says he’s sorry. He let his emotions get the best of him is all.

Eric, after a moment: Well, I’m not one to say that a little emotion is ever a bad thing.

And like that, the tension is gone. Jack smiles, taking a long sip of his coffee.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Lullaby” as performed by Sleeping At Last || Performed by AAA Juniors

The a capella humming of the junior class floats over the scene, underscoring the rest of the episode. It’s delicate, pretty, but the slightest bit haunting. Heavy with the context of the week.

Jack asks Eric how he thought the week went overall, in spite of the trainwreck he was there to witness himself. Eric shrugs, admitting that it’s always hard to tell. Talking about the future is never easy, and the additional uncertainty of this career path that they all think they might want doesn’t soften it.

Eric: I just hope that… I hope they realize this isn’t the end of the world. The future is so malleable, and it will take them in directions they don’t even know are options right now. I mean, look at me. I was just like them at this age. I thought I was going to be a star.

Jack, jokingly: [ behind his mug ] Still have the theatrics to prove it.

Eric gives him a look, but it melts into a smile after Jack shrugs pithily.

Eric: Did I ever think this was where I would end up? No. But life has a way of getting you where you’re supposed to be. [ looking at Jack ] And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Jack claims he’ll toast to that. The two of them clink their mugs together, taking a sip and settling into the quiet.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - AUGGIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Cory is tucking Auggie into bed, taking his time with it considering how the times he’ll get to do so are numbered. He gives him a kiss on the forehead, smiling when Auggie says something silly to him in response.

Riley leans against the doorframe, watching with a bittersweet smile on her face. Not wanting this to change…

INT. FOSTER HOME - NIGHT

Isadora grows tired with helping Jericho with his homework, excusing herself and skirting around her other siblings to escape to her room. Stephen and Karen watch her from the kitchen, exchanging knowing looks.

INT. GARCIA HOME - ASHER’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Asher is seated on his bed, doing his practice of journaling down all the good things that happened, then writing down the bad and crumpling it up so he can metaphorically throw it away. But he’s already got a couple of paper balls littering the floor at his feet, and he’s tear-stained as he rips another page out and crumples it.

He gives up on all of it, letting the journal and the crumpled page fall off his lap and onto the floor. Dylan emerges from the window, slipping inside the room and coming to join him.

They don’t say anything. Dylan simply climbs onto the bed and wraps his arms around him from behind, Asher closing his eyes. Dylan kisses his cheek, then his shoulder, tucking his head against it.

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Alternatively, Lucas’s bedroom is cold and empty. His window is still open to the fire escape, letting in frigid February air.

EXT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He’s not on the fire escape either. Drifting upwards, we pass a few more floors until we find him, huddled up on the roof of the building by himself. He’s shivering, but he doesn’t move. He’s looking at the city, sprawled and twinkling in front of him, but his expression is blank.

I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you…

INT. SUBWAY STOP - NIGHT

The train doors open, Zay and Charlie emerging onto the platform. It’s still bustling for a Friday night, the two of them just another part of the crowd. Charlie takes his hand, the two of them exchanging a meaningful look before Zay begins to lead the way through the masses.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Maya is tweaking her future moodboard, rearranging some items and changing it up. She’s making it a little more personal rather than so cold and calculated, aiming for the future she wants to lead rather than the one she feels like she has to in order to survive the industry.

She picks up one of the photos on her bed, hesitating on it. It’s a polaroid of her and Farkle, goofing around in the auditorium during spring semester. She brushes her thumb over Farkle, obviously contemplative.

Then she looks back at the moodboard. Perhaps it will find a place in her future after all…

INT. MINKUS HOME - HALLWAY - NIGHT

STUART MINKUS approaches Farkle’s door, lightly knocking and asking if he can come inside and chat. Jennifer informed him that he passed on dinner, and hasn’t emerged from his room since, so he wanted to come see what’s going on. His mom said he seemed like he was feeling better this week? Is that the case?

Farkle doesn’t answer, so Stuart sighs and settles for hanging outside. He speaks through the door instead, struggling to find exactly what he wants to say but doing his best to get it out.

Stuart: Listen, I… I’ve been thinking a lot about that discussion we had during the holidays. The things we said to each other… I think you had some points. Smart as you are, of course you did, but… when I said what I did, I was only trying to look out for you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, considering I’m not always… you’re right. I could afford to be around more, and I guess I just needed you to confront me with the truth of that to recognize it as such. [ a beat ] I’m sorry I made you feel like I don’t notice or care, Farkle. I do. I do, and you make me proud every day. Even if I don’t quite understand it, I know you’re making strides in what’s important to you. And I want to be there for more of that. Genuinely.

A really nice sentiment, one long overdue. Still, Farkle doesn’t give him anything in return. Stuart sighs in frustration, knowing they can’t make any progress if he won’t even hear him out.

Stuart: Farkle, come on. Can we just chat about this --

INT. MINKUS HOME - FARKLE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Stuart gently pushes open the door, searching the dimly lit room for Farkle so they can talk face to face. But he’s not at his desk or on his bed, and it takes a full scan of the room for his gaze to drift to the floor.

First confusion passes over his features, then a moment later, panic. Sheer, absolute panic.

Stuart, choked: Farkle? [ bursting into the room ] FARKLE!

Stuart drops down to the ground, kneeling just in front of the camera. He immediately descends into hysterics.

Stuart: Farkle, come on. No -- Jennifer! JENNIFER, CALL AN AMBULANCE!

The last notes of “Lullaby” take us out as the screen goes to black.

Stuart, broken: Farkle!

END OF EPISODE.

IF ANY of the content in this episode has been triggering, please reach out and talk to somebody you trust and who can help you. The following links are resources including hotlines, prevention organizations, and international numbers.

Suicide Prevention: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

List of Suicide Hotlines: https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines https://suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html

[jellyfish-neo]

Recent OC Summaries!

These are all for an urban fantasy or science fantasy setting, not sure yet. Several of them are or could be interconnected. A couple race descriptions may be thrown in. I also may have been inspired by Good Omens to do some angel/demon stuff?? Also i’m gonna add some gender/sexuality stuff not because it’s important but because it’s fun! Anyway here we go:

Race: Astomi

The astomi, originally from Greek/Roman mythology, are mouthless people who live off of sweet-smelling fruit and flowers. Bad smells weaken and can potentially kill these beings, and the pollution of a modern world has made them very few and far between. When one of the few astomi left attempts to warn the public of the very real danger this brings them, they are silenced.

Iovita | Aromantic, Asexual, Agender

Vita is a 20-year-old astomi. They wear a face mask to hide their lack of a mouth as well as shield their nose from the pollution they’re inevitably bathed in living in a city. They communicate using sign language, and their queerplatonic partner, Ashton, acts as their interpreter when necessary. The two work at a small office and art supply store, but also earn some money on the side doing non-criminal forgery. They won’t fake signatures or anything like that, but Vita uses their talent for forging handwriting to write letters, essays, and papers for anyone who’s willing to pay, and Ashton acts as their interpreter and, on occasion, bodyguard. Vita is very tired most of the time due to their weak condition, but they’re calm and observant. Sure, they’re willing to break most rules to get what they want, but they’ve got enough morality to not do anything too bad and enough sense to keep said rule-breaking minor enough to not get caught.

Ashton | Pansexual, Nonbinary

Ashton, a 20-year-old human, dropped out of magic college last year. They wanted to go into combat magic, specializing in fire magic (the coolest kind), but as it turns out, they were okay at plant magic and terrible with fire. This was not all bad though, since they could use it to help their best friend and eventual QPP! This isn’t a one-sided thing, though, since Vita’s survival instincts often help Ashton keep out of trouble. Ashton is very rebellious, and can be rather arrogant and rude at times, getting them into fights. While they’re not great at combat magic, they can certainly hold their own with their fists. If you can get past their somewhat annoying exterior, however, you’ll find an excitable person who’s fiercely supportive and protective of their friends. They also have a girlfriend from magic school named Mari.

Mari | Trans Woman, Bisexual (attracted to women and nb people)

Mari is a gifted elven wizard going to magic college for praecantology (the study of magic) and combat magic. She and Ashton had plans to start an adventuring party together since middle school, but when Ashton started having trouble with combat magic, Mari was the first to tell them they didn’t have to go that route. She would have loved to carry out a career with her partner, but if it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be. She still plans to be an adventurer, and they’ll have to figure out how to do a long-distance relationship when that time comes, but the for now she’s content renting an apartment with Ashton and Vita. Mari is an ambitious person, but she’s still got her fair share of caution. She does, however, have a bad habit of trying to fix other people’s problems. She doesn’t think she knows the best for anyone, but she can spend so much time worrying about issues that have nothing to do with her that she has barely enough energy to do things for herself. When she’s not in such a state, she’s quite responsible. She also bakes. Really well.

Races: Angels and Demons

Angels and demons are viewed as very different beings, and they come in many different forms, but they all share one thing in common: they are forged by gods. Angels are forged in the heat of stars by a god of order, while demons are forged in the depths of the earth by a god of chaos. They’re not as simple as good or evil, either. If the world is bathed in the chaos of war and disaster, angels are the ones to attempt to fix it, while strict regimes and stagnant societies are best fixed by the demons.

Devrim | Demiwoman, Aromantic

Devrim is a humanoid demon who thinks the mortals have gotten too boring for their own good. Sure, they’re not all filing taxes with their money from their 9-5 jobs, but there hasn’t been a revolution in like, four whole years. Not a serious one, anyway. And, even worse: not a single person has stepped up to even attempt the trials of godhood in a century. Even the kid who did it last time was an outlier who was seen as insane. To fix this problem and make those who believe they’re ‘in charge’ a bit less cozy, Dev has set aside her centuries of  notable protests, wild parties, and minor crimes to gather a group of mortals to shake the pantheon up a bit! She may seem like the irresponsible “they’ll figure it out for themselves” type, but she’s really the irresponsible “they’ll figure it out for themselves after I shove them in the right direction” type.

Declan | Agender, Aromantic

Declan is a humanoid angel with a poorly-disguised grudge against Devrim. They say everything they do is for the sake of order, and while order may be the lense through which they see everything else, it’s certainly not their only motivator. That other motivator is malice. They may not show it, but they thrive on getting in other people’s way. This is likely because this gets them praise from the higher-ups. Either way, Declan’s got some mysterious beef with Dev, and they’ll stop her with any lawful means possible.

Blaine | Trans Man, Demiromantic

Blaine is an absolute ray of sunshine, or, at least, he tries to be. You see, he’s been half-possessed by a demon rat sent by the chaos god themself for about a year now, and this rat’s intentions are a lot less ‘good’ than Devrim’s. The rat, who Blaine calls Pla, was sent to find a mortal to cause as much chaos as possible, and forcing a person like Blaine to do it was sure to get Pla some extra credit. While he’s not fully possessed all the time, Blaine must do Pla’s bidding, or else they’ll take over his body. The possession is terrifying and painful when it happens, and yields the same result either way, and after a month or two of trying to fight him off, he pretty much gave up and started hoping for someone to stop him. The tasks he is forced to carry out range from spreading panic-inducing rumors to murdering people and sending fake threats. Blaine refuses to let his anguish show, instead showing the world a happy, polite, and positive person when he can. He also tends to believe in other people more than he believes in himself.

Torny | Lesbian

Torny is in a similar situation to Blaine, but she’s certainly not having nearly as bad a time. As a chaotic person who does whatever she wants without any thought to the consequences, an cat-shaped angel whom she calls Peir has taken on the role of her magical therapist while also giving her ‘lessons’ by having her help people. Peir doesn’t control her unless she’s about to do something drastic like hit someone. Torny likes motorcycling, starting fights, and fantasy animal crossing punk rock.

[shuoshuzhe-a]

            meet the team from CHINA....they can argue that they’re the main school, the progenitor to shamanism and using cursed energy. it’s not far — fetched to say that they’re one of the oldest schools to exist that practices juryoku. separated into two streams, the use of CURSED energy is more new than the use of spiritual energy ; the need to adapt was necessary with the changing world ( filled with negative energy ) and these students [ and their 2 teachers ] are currently the top of their school. unlike tokyo where most of the shamans — in —  training are high schoolers, most of the students here are entering university / college...but the concept is not unlike their basics, training starts YOUNG and the cursed techniques are often etched into their being. from spellcasters to summoners to equipment users to talisman users, the basics of using cursed energy is all the same.             this particular team is known for their earrings ( tassel —  like ) but some have opted to not pierce their ears. the earrings function both as a communicator and a protection charm.             from top left to bottom right: lin feihong, wang guiying, huang yaling, huang yahui, tang xiulan, xie zhihao, yang kai, jiang liling, shu delun.

lin feihong ( 28, instructor, special class [top left] ) — feihong hails from a famed family of shamans ( jitong / tongji ) known for their sixth sense. a family of oracles, feihong has a bit of an affinity for foresight and is more of a passive player when it comes to battles. a strategist, feihong’s role tends to be more SUPPORTING when in battle...their role in the team tends to be more as an advisor, to help the students cultivate their abilities. the LIN family is known for their cursed techniques and talismans. feihong’s gender is unknown to many, it has left people guessing. feihong smokes quite often, but it is a practice their family uses for visions and gives an air of mysteriousness. feihong is a male but only delun knows.

wang guiying ( 19, student, 3rd class [top middle] ) — guiying is from a small village in china that was recruited and sent to the school to refine his skill. unlike his family members, he is the only one who was ‘ blessed ’ with the ability to harness energy. while his family has been shamans for a while now, they were only village healers. the moment the scout offered, without even giving guiying a chance to speak, he was sent off. there is SLIGHT resentment for being sent off without regards of what he wanted from life, but a part of him is grateful that he’s learned how to use his abilities. he’s more capable with summoning shikigami ( using talismans ) and cursed weapons. guiying is close to yahui ( sort of — they fight and bicker but they work well together ) and yaling...rather, he also worries for yaling and is much SOFTER with the female than her own brother. guiying is friendly, open — minded, and loud...he doesn’t hesitate to let people know how he feels or what he thinks, but sometimes he acts before he thinks ( while yahui thinks before he acts, even not hesitating to LEAVE ).

huang yaling ( 21, student, quasi-1st class [top right] ) — her family supposedly hails from royalty, or nobility, their lineage runs much deeper than the LIN family. all of her family have produced shamans of special grade so there was a LOT of expectations placed upon yaling and her twin brother, yahui. yaling is often faced with people who thinks she achieved her position not through her skills BUT because of her family. as the elder of the pair, yaling struggles with anxiety, insecurity and a lack of confidence ; despite having all the TRAINING and developing her skills, she’s become quite insecure about her abilities, where she doubts herself constantly. an apologist, she’s always trying to cover for her brother (trying to protect him ). she tends to be hurt often and used by others due to her kind but a pushover nature. she specializes in talismans and summoning, a prominent cursed technique user ; she’s currently trying to perfect her territory expansion. the HUANG family holds a relative large amount of cursed objects hidden away in a cache far into the mountains...the location is not known by anyone but family elders.

huang yahui ( 21, student, quasi-2nd class [middle left] ) — the younger huang twin, more bold and more temperamental. yahui tends to be a VERY angry person, towards society and towards his sister...and resentment towards his family. he tends to be more offensive and aggressive with people, a facade to hide his vulnerable and upset self...there’s so much judgement and so much expectation, he’s not being seen as who he is ( and his anger is DOUBLE because his sister is so meek and quiet ). he’s protective over his sister, always ahead or behind her ; hiding behind his angry facade, yahui is sad and frustrated with everything. he tends to SNAP first and then figure it out later. but underneath it all, he’s a soft-hearted and protective, a loyal person...yahui is just like his sister, a prominent cursed technique user and uses a form of blood manipulation as part of his technique. opposite to guiying, he thinks before acting ; he doesn’t hesitate to LEAVE if the situation is too dangerous for him or yaling ( and guiying ). his instincts is often correct, but his way to dealing with it is bad — abandoning people in favor to save those close to him.

tang xiulan ( 23, practitioner, 2nd class [middle] ) — xiulan is an optimistic person and a supportive person ; a good listener, xiulan wants to be supportive to the team. a mature mind, xiulan is a positive person with a lot of love to give. this was perhaps because of her loving relationship with her family despite the gender discrimination she faced from her elders ; her grandfather was a jitong and was hoping to pass it on but having no sons, the tradition wasn’t passed on...and when the hopes of grandsons were shattered with the birth of two daughters....xiulan took it upon herself to learn by watching, and while she was GOOD at the gestures, she had no actual training as her grandfather refused to teach her. albeit, what her grandfather practiced wasn’t the usage of cursed technique, and uses the basis of taoism...xiulan wasn’t recruited, but rather, she asked for help...she WANTED to be in this profession so she had to go behind her grandfather’s back and ask for assistance in the shaman world. initially, she had very little talent, but with hardwork, she managed to make it up the ladder. she feels for the twins and tries her best to be there for the two that are on the opposite end of the spectrum ( but she feels that yahui thinks she’s doing it out of pity ). she is versed in harnessing spiritual energy instead of cursed energy, unlike the rest of her peers. like the jack of all trades, there isn’t ONE thing she’s good at.

xie zhihao ( 19, student, 3rd class [middle right] ) — unlike zhihao’s pretty face and false smiles, zhihao has a bit of a nasty personality. she has a tendency to use people to get what she wants, she doesn’t hesitate to leave people behind for the sake of her own gain. how she manages to get along with her team is a mystery to everyone, she especially enjoys picking on xiulan and yaling ( but only when yahui isn’t around ). a cursed corpse specialist, she’s still perfecting her craft and she seems to have a PENCHANT for using humanoid figures for her art ( so much so that some people think she’s reanimating the dead  — actually something she’s looking into... ). she can make simple animal shikigami but mostly for communication and distractions...they cannot attack nor defend. zhihao hails from a rich family, but as the youngest of her siblings, she was cast aside as useless. developing a superiority complex because she’s often told that she’s not NEEDED ( and not given what she wanted when asked, she had to earn it ), she has a tendency to look down on others and dig her fingers into wounds ; she hates being seen as weak and hates people like yaling & yahui ( got her place because of her family, got what they wanted without working for it  — so she thinks ) and people like xiulan ( too kind and loving ).

yang kai ( 20, student, quasi-2nd class [bottom left] ) — an orphan / runaway that was picked up by shu delun’s family, he was discovered during an attack from a low — level cursed spirit and somehow, managed to survive. the SHU family found talent in the boy and took him in. the SHU family were known to be spellcasters and found that yang kai had an ability with his voice. trained to become a spellcaster, yang kai is praised to be a genius for his ability and for his background...he remains unaffected by other people’s opinion about him. he seems unsociable or condescending for his quiet tone or lack of talking. yang kai speaks softly with a raspy tone, avoids eye contact ( just because he’s super awkward ) and just so that he doesn’t accidentally use his ‘ voice ’ against people. a genuinely nice kid who’s overly just REALLY awkward, he has a really huge soft spot for animals and fuzzy blankets.

jiang liling ( 20, student, 3rd class [bottom middle] ) — a girl with money and sometimes told that she doesn’t have a talent and that she should quit. it’s perhaps because of her princess — like attitude, refusing to get dirty when it came to missions....her condescending tone has her seen as less important due to her attitude. she’s a capable person BUT she hates doing the dirty work. she is the type to be more bossy and work behind everyone than be ACTUALLY doing the work. when forced to, she can do it...she just has an issue with her image...she grew up learning that appearance was everything ; that she needed to look perfect no matter what...and with the addition of being influenced by people’s ideal image of what a ‘ girl ’ should look like ( effeminate, non-calloused hands, no scars, etc ), she hates digging her hands into things...keeping them well manicured, and clothes clean. it’s a surprised she even managed to make it up to 3rd class. she has a crush on yahui.

shu delun ( 29, instructor, special class [ bottom right] ) — hailing from a family full of spellcasters, delun is nearly the opposite of feihong. while feihong is more focused on the DEFENSE, delun is more OFFENSE. if either of them were to be born as a female, they were to be married. the SHU and LIN family had a good relationship despite the shu family being like nouveau — riche...the SHU family were very new but talented and made a name for themselves. the markings on delun’s face helps with limit his spellcasting abilities without unknowingly influencing others with his voice. a skilled spellcaster, he is also capable of other areas and assists in putting theory to practicality ( taking what feihong teaches to the field ). a fun — loving and adventurous male that often joins feihong in smoke breaks. he cares deeply for the team and tries his best to guide them down the right path. he dotes on yang kai ( as his nephew ) and tries to keep liling in line.

[arashi-astrology]

Arashi Astrology: Ohno’s Chart Ruler

This post is completely inspired by @transiting‘s BTS Astrology post! Despite knowing little to nothing about BTS, I enjoyed reading it and wanted to try doing something similar for my favorite boyband, Arashi. Fortunately, Arashi’s members are among the few Asian celebrities whose birth times are publicly known, due to their fortune telling segment in their SP 「真夜中の嵐」. This means that I can do a much more detailed reading, but I decided to keep this post focused on one component of the Natal Chart, the Chart Reader, so that it’s easier to digest. If you enjoy this post then PLEASE let me know, so that I can gauge the level of interest there is for this kind of content.

For obvious reasons, we’ll start with the group’s beloved leader, Ohno!

Ohno Satoshi November 26, 1980 / 9:07 A.M. / Mitaka, Japan

Let’s begin with the rising sign (AC), the sign that symbolizes how you generally act and behave. It is the strongest impression you give to the people around you, and the way you instinctively examine and move in the world. Ohno’s birthtime makes him a Capricorn Rising, which initially surprised me (I had him pegged as a Taurus Rising), but on second thought, it makes a lot of sense. Although Ohno doesn’t really fit the ambitious, go-getter image of a Capricorn, he is known as a hard worker and comes off as a serious person (people even say he’s like an old man). The rising sign affects your resting face and Capricorn Risings usually have serious, stony resting faces, as Ohno does. When he talks to people, it is through simple, matter-of-fact sentences, especially if its their first interaction. Just as Capricorn is known for its ambition, it’s also known for its caution and hesitance, due to the heavy feelings of responsibility and self-doubt. Ohno’s expression of these traits were more obvious in his teens and in his 20s. If one looks at his TV appearances back then, he was even more silent, serious, and cautious than he is now. He’s become much more relaxed and confident in the past decade—another Capricorn Rising trait, as it’s ruled by Saturn, the planet of time, and those ruled by Saturn tend to bloom in their 30s or 40s.

Being a Capricorn Rising makes his Chart Ruler Libra Saturn in the 9th house. As the name suggests, the Chart Ruler is one of the most important components of the chart; you could say that it symbolizes the main theme of a chart. With Saturn as the Chart Ruler, that theme becomes one of diligence, responsibility, and hard work. Saturn promises difficult challenges, but if you manage to hang on and do your best, your struggles will bear fruit and you will become a better person for it. Having Saturn in the 9th house, the house of college, travel, and knowledge-expanding adventures, suggests that Ohno’s difficult challenges were about knowing what direction to take in life, especially between the ages 18-21. He might have felt trapped and suffered from low self-esteem. We do know from interviews that Ohno had thought of leaving Johnny’s as a trainee and that in the early years of Arashi he felt inadequate and like he was lagging behind the others, so that might be what this is referring to.

This is also evident in how his Saturn squares Capricorn Mars in the 12th. Mars is the planet of energy and action. A Capricorn Mars indicates someone with a subdued but determined approach to life. Picture someone whose response to the towering mountain in front of them is to grimly push their sleeves up and get to work with a ten-year plan in their mind. But when you put that Capricorn Mars in the 12th house then things can get fuzzy. The 12th house rules “the collective unconscious” and planets here lie beneath the surface. Accessing these planets consciously does not come easily and in the early stages of life you might not be aware of them at all. Nonetheless, they’re there and their energy seeps out without you controlling it. As a result, others will feel this energy from you, even though you’re not aware you’re giving it off in the first place.

Mars in the 12th can be a particularly tough placement, because it means that Ohno was usually unaware of what motivated him and what angered him. He might’ve found it uncomfortable to try to understand and confront his anger, leaving it to fester in his unconscious until it found a way out. When it did, it expressed itself in a messy and uncontrolled way, perhaps through a sharp remark he didn’t mean or a bout of anger he couldn’t control. However, the other Arashi members have stated that they’ve never seen Ohno seriously mad, which means that Ohno handles this placement better than most. There’s a possible reason for this: his numerous creative outlets, in particular his dancing and singing. People with 12th House placements are usually artistically gifted, because their connection with the collective unconscious gives them a deep perception of the world that lends itself beautifully to art. Mars in the 12th, in particular, is great for dance because it’s literally creative action that expresses the drive and passion within that is otherwise repressed. That’s why when Ohno dances, he seems like a different person, giving off a commanding and determined aura that one wouldn’t expect from him. He’s probably been using dancing (and singing and drawing—jesus is there anything this man isn’t talented at??) as a way to release stress since he was young.

That doesn’t mean that he still doesn’t have trouble with the placement though; Saturn in the 9th square Mars in the 12th indicates that his struggle to decide his path in life was complicated by his low awareness of his motivations and desires, as well as by him being very critical on himself.

Yet Saturn is about overcoming those challenges and mastering those weaknesses, and Ohno has clearly made progress on both of those fronts, showing his true potential. Libra Saturn as the Chart Ruler signals leadership and diplomacy, someone who keeps the peace, values fairness, and guides others with a realistic worldview. Libra is the sign of equality and balance after all, and dignified Saturn is the most happy there, reveling in the firm and yet sympathetic laying down of the law. How many times have the other members said that if it wasn’t for Ohno, Arashi couldn’t have stayed together? That Ohno’s unique “leading by not leading” style was what kept the peace in Arashi and gave them a feeling of stability? And who can forget Nino’s account of the time when, in the midst of a disappointing period with little success or popularity, Ohno refused to stop their current activities and told the other discouraged members, “If people can’t do their current work properly, then they won’t be able to do anything properly”, inspiring them to continue. Prizing the value of hard work and cooperation, you can’t get more Libra Saturn than that. Even though Ohno had numerous misgivings about being the leader, he always had the makings of one within him.

Looking back at the chart, you can see that Saturn and Jupiter are very close to each other, making them conjunct. Saturn conjunct Jupiter, or “The Great Conjunction”, only happens every 19 years and has been linked to the rise and fall of great powers (the next Great Conjunction, you’ll be interested to know, is next year on December 21, 2020). Those born during the conjunction have extra apparent Saturn qualities (serious, cautious, diligent) due to Jupiter, as the planet of growth, expanding anything it touches. However, Jupiter is also the planet of beliefs and faith, and Jupiter in the 9th gives Ohno a great deal of positive energy in the form of a strong inner faith that allows him to believe that in the end, everything will work out. That, plus his Sagittarius Sun, causes Ohno to sometimes be laidback and to go at things at his own pace. Saturn’s influence restricts some of Jupiter’s buoyancy, but the two planets also work together, with Jupiter’s faith being the energy that powers Saturn’s labor. The position of Jupiter can also tell us how we attract good luck, and with his Libra Jupiter in 9th conjunct Saturn, Ohno attracts luck by not letting that faith die while continuing to work diligently and treat others fairly.

Ohno’s Jupiter in the 9th also shows that, more than anything else, he likes being limitless, free to do and explore whatever he wants. Here we can see a sign of the Ohno who said he liked fishing because of, “the freedom”, as well as the Ohno who can be a complete hermit at home, not answering anyone’s calls. We can also see the Ohno who wishes to take a break from Arashi in order to pursue other things in life, while he still can.

That desire for freedom is reinforced by his Sagittarius Sun in the 11th, which is also sextile his Saturn and Jupiter. The sun is our ego, that essential core of our identity that we discover and work towards throughout our lives. Sagittarius is embodied in the archetypal figures of the student, the traveler, and the philosopher. Exploration and the scholarly pursuit of higher knowledge, those are both encapsulated by Sagittarius (if this sounds awfully familiar then that’s because Sagittarius rules the 9th house and it’s ruled by Jupiter. Clearly this is a repeating pattern in Ohno’s life).

The 11th House, meanwhile, is what I like to call “the house of societal networking and groups”. This is the house that tells you how you are with acquaintances, specifically how you are at connecting and collaborating with them to work towards some common goal that will benefit society. In addition,those with planets in the 11th house can feel like a bit of an outcast, with an innovative streak that helps them think outside the box, leading to bursts of genius. Other people might not be able to understand your way of thinking and you may feel alienated as a result, but your experiences will also cause you to be more open-minded towards others. Sound familiar? Ohno has often been called “a mysterious person” by other celebrities, who find him hard to understand. And when it comes to art, Ohno can astound everyone by coming up with an artistic vision no one else could’ve. 

Having his Sun in the 11th means that Ohno’s identity as a curious explorer is carried out through collaboration with others. Even though he might not think so himself, Ohno thrives in groups; working together with others helps him come up with new ideas and projects, satisfying his wish for freedom and exploration (Sun sextile Jupiter), as well as giving him more opportunities to be a leader, which is good because Ohno finds purpose in taking responsibility (Sun sextile Saturn). 

And that’s what Arashi did for Ohno. By leading Arashi, Ohno found purpose, explored unexpected possibilities, and, with the help of the other members, provided something to society as a whole. 

And though Ohno will be taking his long-awaited break soon, the theme of his Chart Ruler will carry on. While I can’t know exactly what Ohno will be doing during his break (although I do want to write a post about what astrology says he’ll be doing), it seems pretty clear that his road to personal fulfillment is through continuing to work in collaboration with other people, and using that inspiration to take on new, meaningful projects. Whether that takes the shape of a group art exhibition working with a medium he hasn’t tried before or starting some sort of amateur dance project or getting better at sailing (or perhaps... dare I say... marriage??), only time will tell. 

[thedcdunce]

Poison Ivy

“Once you've been touched by poison ivy, you can never get rid of her.” - Poison Ivy

Real Name: Pamela Lillian Isley

Aliases:

Lillian Rose

Doctor Paul Irving

Gender: Female

Height: 5′ 6″

Weight: 110 lbs (50 kg)

Eyes: Green

Hair: Red

Skin: Green

Powers:

Chlorokinesis

Toxikinesis

Abilities:

Botany

Seduction

Hand-to-Hand Combat (Basic)

Weaknesses:

Vulnerability to Darkness

Mental Instability

Universe:

Earth-One

New Earth

Base of Operations: Gotham City

Citizenship: American

Parents:

Andre Chaumont; father

Anna Nguyen ; mother

Marital Status: Single

Occupation: Scientist

First Appearance: Batman #181 (June, 1966)

Last Appearance: Gotham City Sirens #26 (October, 2011)

Powers

Chlorokinesis: Semi-mystical connection to the plant world through a force called the Green. She is able to manipulate and animate plants. 

Pheromone Control: Ivy is known to be able to seduce men and women alike, often using pheromones to do so, but even without the pheromones, her beauty is still an asset that can she can use to seduce.

Toxikinesis: A deliberate overdose of plant and animal based toxins into her blood stream that make her touch deadly. Ivy can create the most potently powerful floral toxins in Gotham City. Often these are secreted from her lips and administered via a kiss. They come in a number of varieties, from mind controlling drugs to instantly fatal necrotics. Her skin is toxic as well, although contact with it is usually not fatal.

Toxic Immunity: Immunity to all toxins, bacteria, and viruses.

Skin Pigment Manipulation: By reducing the intensity of her poison, she can give herself a normal skin tone, allowing her to move around in public without being recognized.

Abilities

Botany: Doctor Isley was a renowned scientist with a career in Gotham City. She's always had a fascination with plants and they have been the major direction in her life even after her accident. Her knowledge of botany allows her to better manipulate her plants.

Toxicology: Her specialization in Botany was Toxicology, at first she used her knowledge for perfumes, make-up and medicine. After her accident, she used her knowledge to grow thorny plants and poisonous traps for her enemies.

Seduction: Pamela Isley has always been a beautiful woman but she never used her looks or talents for personal gain until she became Poison Ivy. She taunts her trapped opponents with their human desires and can even infatuate thugs to her cause through her plants or her own means.

Hand-to-Hand Combat (Basic): Her athletic abilities have grown over the course of her career. She has learned a limited style of martial arts fighting, is proficient at climbing and leaping, and is a strong and fast swimmer.

Weaknesses

Vulnerability to Darkness: Poison Ivy requires substantial amounts of solar energy to live.

Mental Instability: Poison Ivy has been committed to Arkham Asylum on a regular basis. She speaks to her plants, finds extreme rage towards males and at a certain point sought out the destruction of the human race so only she and her plants would live.

Pre-Crisis

Pamela Isley was born in Washington, daughter of a wealthy family. She attended college in Seattle, where she studied botany. Pamela fell in love with Marc Legrand, one of her teachers and they started a relationship. Eventually, Pamela stole some special herbs from a local museum to help Legrand with some experiments, but he betrayed and poisoned her using the same herbs she had stolen for him. Pamela survived the poisoning and as a result, she became invulnerable to all poisons. These events were known by the FBI, but they had Pamela's name wrongly recorded as Lillian Rose.

Turning to crime, Pamela adopted the alias of Poison Ivy and appeared in public for the first time in Gotham City in order to challenge the most renowned criminals for the title of Public Enemy No. 1. She managed to outmatch them, but she was confronted by Batman and Robin. Using her charms, she almost escaped from them, but Batman recovered just in time to capture her and placed her in prison. Later, Ivy attempted to escape prison using Batman as her enforcer, but her plan backfired and she was captured once again.

Eventually, she escaped from prison and joined the Injustice Gang, but they were all defeated by the Justice League. Not long after this, Ivy became a member of the jury on a mock trial run by criminals in Gotham, which was staged in order to determine who had killed Batman. The whole situation was a plan concocted by Batman to capture the Joker, which allowed Ivy and the other criminals to avoid capture.

Some time later, Ivy joined forces with Catwoman and Madame Zodiac in order to confront Batwoman, Batgirl and Huntress. Although successful at first, Ivy and Catwoman were captured and defeated while Zodiac betrayed them and escaped, leaving them behind. When Ivy escaped once again, she planned her revenge against her former lover, Marc Legrand and transformed him into a tree-like creature under her command. Ivy started a new series of crimes, but she was confronted by Wonder Woman, who turned the Legrand creature against Ivy and caused their apparent demise.

Return to Gotham

Ivy had survived her encounter with Wonder Woman and after a short stint with the Injustice Gang, she returned to Gotham City with a grand scheme to steal the assets of Wayne Enterprises from Bruce Wayne. Ivy's plan was almost successful, but despite his hypnotic suggestion, Bruce Wayne resisted Ivy's commands and challenged her as Batman. Ivy's plan came crumbling down when Batman and Robin worked together against her and her trusted assistant revealed the truth to the authorities. Ivy was subsequently arrested and Wayne recovered the assets of his company.

However, Ivy was soon released due to lack of evidence and good behavior and she started working on her next scheme. She allied with a scientist and together, they created plant monsters that could potentially destroy Gotham. Ivy then used some executives from Wayne Enterprises to give the creatures their energy. Her recklessness caused Ivy to be confronted once again by Batman, who foiled her plans with help from the new Robin.

Post-Crisis

Doctor Pamela Lillian Isley grew up in Seattle; daughter to wealthy yet distant parents. In college, she specialized in botany and toxicology and was a very promising, but naive, student. Her professor, Doctor Jason Woodrue, later known as the Floronic Man, seduced her, hoping to persuade her into becoming a human test subject for his experiments. These experiments, according to Isley, were torturous. Twice, she was nearly killed, and ended up in the hospital for six months. Woodrue fled the authorities, while Isley was left with a changed physiology. Toxins in her bloodstream made her touch deadly and immune to all poisons, viruses, bacteria, and fungi. She also gained the ability to produce pheromones that she could use to seduce men into doing her bidding. Unfortunately, the results of these experiments also also left her barren, and she has treated her plants as her children ever since.

Enraged at her betrayal by a man, Isley suffered violent mood swings. She later caused a boyfriend to have a car accident by bringing about a massive fungal-overgrowth in his lungs. Isley then left Seattle, eventually settling down in Gotham City.

Her first act, there, was threatening to release her suffocating spores into the air unless the city met her demands. Thus, she became infamous as Poison Ivy.

Criminal Career

After several encounters with Batman, Ivy was locked in prison for a while, until she was released on parole. Joining forces with a criminal known as "The Grip", Ivy used her pheromones and seduction tactics to steal from wealthy men. Unfortunately, her victims also died and investigations revealed that they had been killed by a disease that was slowly killing Ivy as well, as a result of the weakening of her poison immunity. Batman located Ivy and after a brief confrontation, she understood that her life was in danger and agreed to be hospitalized, where she would be properly treated and eventually recovered.

After a massive breakout from Arkham orchestrated by Bane, Poison Ivy escaped and created an army of "deadfellows", after which she attended a Charity Function at the Gotham Civic Center, where she released some plant spores in the air to mind control all the wealthy men of Gotham and she took them to her hideout, the greenhouse Neo Eden. Batman thwarted Ivy's plans and stopped the eco-terrorist.

Leaving Gotham

A few years after her arrival, she would try to leave Gotham forever, escaping Arkham to settle on a desert island in the Caribbean. She molded the barren wasteland into a tropical paradise and stated that for the first time in her life, she was happy. It was soon firebombed, however, when an American-owned corporation tested their weapons systems out on what they thought was an abandoned island. Ivy then returned to Gotham, punishing those responsible. After being willingly apprehended by Batman, she resolved that she could never leave Gotham, at least not until the world was safe for plants. From then on, she dedicated herself to the mission of purifying Gotham.

Injustice Gang and Harley Quinn

Poison Ivy was a member of the original Injustice Gang of the World, which fought the Justice League on several occasions. She also joined the Secret Society of Super-Villains for a mission against the Justice League. Years later, she was coerced into being a member of the Suicide Squad. During this time she used her abilities to enslave Count Vertigo.

Ivy is also friends with the Joker's sidekick Harley Quinn. Unlike most villain team-ups, their partnership seems to be rooted in genuine friendship, and Ivy really wants to save Harley from her abusive relationship with the Joker.

No Man's Land and Hush

Following the destruction of Gotham in an earthquake, the ruins of the city were declared a No Man's Land. Rather than fight over territory like most of Batman's enemies, Ivy held dominion over Robinson Park, and turned it into a tropical paradise. Sixteen children who were orphaned during the quake came to live with her, as she sympathized with them, having suffered a traumatic childhood herself. She cared for them like sons and daughters, despite her general misanthropy.

That winter, Clayface paid Ivy a visit, hoping to form a bargain with her. This would entail her growing fruits and vegetables, while the orphans harvested them, and then he would sell the produce to the highest bidder. She wanted nothing to do with the plan and attempted to kill him with a kiss. Clayface overpowered her and imprisoned she and the orphans for six months in a chamber under the lake in the park. He fed her salt and kept her from the sun to weaken her. Eventually, Batman came and discovered the prisoners. The two agreed to work together to take Karlo down. Batman battled Clayface and instructed Robin to blow up the lake bed above, allowing the rushing water to break apart the mud, effectively freeing Ivy. She fought Karlo, ensnaring him in the branches of a tree and fatally kissing him. She then proceeded to sink him down into the ground, where he became fertilizer for Ivy's plants. Batman, originally intended to take the orphans away from Ivy, but recognized that staying with her was what was best for them, and they remained in her care until the city was restored

After Gotham City was reincorporated into the United States, the city wanted to evict her from the park and send her back to Arkham Asylum. They also mistakenly believed that the orphans in Ivy's care were unwilling hostages. The Gotham City Police Department threatened to spray the park with a powerful herbicide that most certainly would have killed every living plant in the park, including Ivy, and more than likely do harm to the children as well. Ivy refused to leave the park to the city and let them undo the work she had done, so she chose martyrdom. It was only after Rose, one of the orphans, was accidentally poisoned by Ivy that she surrendered herself to the authorities in order to save Rose's life. Batman then became aware that Ivy was still more human than plant.

Poison Ivy later came to believe that her powers had begun killing the children she looked after, so she asked Batman to help her reverse her condition to make her a normal human being again. Though it was a success, she was convinced soon after by Hush to take a serum that would restore her powers, but she apparently died in the process. When her grave was visited later, however, it was covered with vines and ivy, suggesting that her death would be short-lived.

Ivy was back in Gotham when Riddler set his Hush plan in motion. Promising her money, Riddler used Ivy to mind control Catwoman and Superman. Ivy was captured, though unbeknownst to her this was part of Riddler's plan. When Riddler was finally discovered, he was hunted by all the criminals he manipulated and sought Poison Ivy's protection. However, Ivy wanted to destroy Riddler as much as everyone else and tried to eliminate him. Ivy succeeded on destroying the Riddler by making him realize that he was no longer a criminal force in Gotham and left him in a catatonic state.

One Year Later

One year after the events of the Infinite Crisis, Ivy was alive and active. Her control over flora had increased, apparently on a par with that of the Swamp Thing or the Floronic Man. She also appeared to have resumed her crusade against the corporate enemies of the environment with a new fanaticism, regarding Batman no longer as an opponent, but merely as a "hindrance".

Later, it was discovered that Ivy had been feeding people, including tiresome lovers, incompetent henchmen, and those who returned her smile to a giant plant which would digest the victims slowly and painfully. She referred to it as a guilty pleasure. In an unprecedented event, the souls of her victims merged with the plant, creating a botanical monster called Harvest, which sought revenge upon Ivy. With the intervention of Batman, however, she was saved. Ivy was left in critical condition, and the whereabouts of Harvest were unknown.

Countdown

After recovering, Ivy caught the Trickster and Pied Piper eating fruits in one of her gardens. Her plants then told her that the men had hurt them and she proceeded to ensnare them with intent to kill, if not for the intervention of Deathstroke.

Later, Ivy was contacted by Catwoman, who wanted to get revenge over Hush. Ivy was in charge of locating every single hideout Hush had used and she stole all the money stashed in those places.

Final Crisis

Poison Ivy was recruited by Libra for his Secret Society of Super Villains, and later fell under the control of the Anti-Life Equation. This resulted in a direct confrontation with the Spectre, the Question and Radiant.

Battle for the Cowl

After the Black Glove's failed plan to destroy Batman, all the inmates from Arkham Asylum were transferred to Blackgate Penitentiary until Arkham was completely decontaminated. On their way back to Arkham, the vehicles that transported the inmates were assaulted by a new Black Mask, who freed the inmates, blew the asylum in front of all of them and forced them to join his army. Ivy was among the inmates who joined Black Mask's group and under his instructions, she teamed up with Killer Croc, located the Batmobile and attacked Damian Wayne, who was saved by the timely arrival of Nightwing.

Following Black Mask's plan, Ivy and Croc joined Firefly to burn and destroy Penguin's warehouses. However, tired of being manipulated by Black Mask, Ivy released a series of chemicals that nullified the chemical implant Black Mask was using to control them and Ivy freed herself from his grasp. She went to Catwoman's place, looking for Selina, but instead she found Harley Quinn and Riddler, who explained that they were also looking for Catwoman. Putting their differences aside, they teamed up and found Selina, unconscious on the streets.

Gotham City Sirens

Some time later, after rescuing Catwoman from Boneblaster, a new villain trying to make a name for himself, Poison Ivy took her back to Edward Nigma's townhouse. When there, Catwoman saw that Ivy had been keeping the Riddler under mind control so that she and Harley Quinn could use his townhouse as a hideout. Catwoman decided that with Gotham City more dangerous than ever, thanks to all the gang wars and a new Batman, a partnership with the other two women would be advantageous. However, Ivy feared that Catwoman had lost her edge and prowess, and consulted with Zatanna regarding the nature of Catwoman's injuries. Zatanna responded that Catwoman had psychological wounds that would need healing, more so than physical ones. Ivy resolved that she and Harley would provide Catwoman with "positive female reinforcement", and the three agreed to become a team.

Ivy joined Selina on a mission at the Club V, where Selina was tasked to follow Vicki Vale. However, when Harley crashed the place in order to retrieve her stolen pet hyenas, Ivy was forced to help her fight against the various criminals in the building.

After many adventures together, Harley Quinn betrayed her companions and broke into Arkham Asylum with the goal of killing the Joker. However, she ultimately chose to release Joker from his cell instead, and together the two orchestrated a violent takeover of the facility. Poison Ivy arrived and tried to convince Harley that the Joker was evil, but Harley Quinn refused to believe her. After they were defeated by Catwoman and Batman, Catwoman told Ivy that they would no longer be a team, angry at Ivy's earlier attempt to drug her in order to discover Batman's identity. Poison Ivy was then incarcerated in Arkham Asylum.

Ivy soon escaped and made amends with Harley Quinn. Together, the two set off to find Catwoman and make her pay for her betrayal. The two of them found Catwoman and fought her on the streets, where Catwoman confessed that she saw good in the both of them, and only wanted to help them. When she told them that she had only kept tabs on them because Batman wanted to keep them under control, Ivy took her anger out on the city by using giant vines to destroy buildings, cursing at Batman for manipulating her. Batman was about to arrest them, but Catwoman helped the two of them escape.

Fun Facts

Poison Ivy was Supergirl's first kiss.

[wisdomrays]

THE STATUE OF OUR SOULS: Part-3

The fifth attribute of the inheritors is being able to think freely and being respectful of freedom of thought. Being free and enjoying freedom are a significant depth of human willpower and a mysterious door through which one may set forth into the secrets of the self. One unable to set forth into that depth and unable to pass through that door can hardly be called human. For a long time we have been writhing in the terrible shackles of slavery which have subjected our thoughts and feelings to various strains coming from both inside and outside. In circumstances in which restrictions have been imposed on reading, thinking, feeling and living, it is impossible to retain one's human faculties, let alone achieve renewal and progress. In such a situation it is quite difficult to maintain even the level of a plain and common man, let alone to raise great personalities who leap with the spirit of renewal and reform, and whose eyes are on infinity. In such conditions there exist only weak characters who experience deviations in their personalities and men of sluggish souls and paralyzed senses.

In our recent past distorted, deviated views and unsound, defective criteria were pumped into our souls from homes, streets, educational institutions and circles of art to the detriment of everything, from the material to the immaterial, from physics to metaphysics. During those years, we would express our obsessions while we supposed we were thinking; we would plan everything egocentrically while never reckoning that there might be other views, beliefs and understandings beside ours; as soon as we found the opportunity, we would turn to might and with brute force administer punitive measures against right and freewill; we were always persecuting and bullying someone. It is a great pity that even now it is impossible for us to say that such things no longer happen and will not happen again.

However, as we draw toward renewal, it is imperative that we should review the historical dynamics of the last thousand years and question the changes and transformations of the last one hundred and fifty years of our past. It is imperative because judgments and decisions are nowadays made according to certain unquestioned taboos. Certain views which govern these decisions render them invalid and defective and can never be productive and can never ever prepare the awaited bright future. If it were prepared within the current understanding, clashes of the masses within the deadly web of ambitions, melees between the political parties, fights between the nations, and skirmishes between the powers would result. This is the reason today why one section of society clashes with another, why the differences turn into fights, and is the reason for the overwhelming terror, brutality and bloodshed in the world. Had it not been for the egoism, greed, ambition, and ruthlessness of humans, the world most probably would have been different from its present state.

That is why, as we are drawing toward different worlds, taking both our own attitudes to others and our own selves and ambitions into account, we have to be more free-thinking and free-willed. We need those vast hearts who can embrace impartial free-thinking, who are open to knowledge, sciences and scientific research, and who can perceive the accord between the Qur'an and Sunnatullah in the vast spectrum from the universe to life. In the past individual geniuses undertook and carried out these great tasks. Today, however, they can only be fulfilled by a community which takes upon itself the missions of such men of genius. As everything has become so detailed, particularized, specified, and enumerated, these tasks now assume such forms that even unique, outstanding individuals cannot accomplish them by themselves. That is why the place of genius has been now replaced by collective consciousness with consultative and collective decision-making and social conscience, which is the summary of the sixth attribute of the inheritors.

It is a fact that in the recent past the Islamic community did not possess such an understanding. In fact, it was not possible to implement collective consciousness, consultative-collective decision-making, collective mind and conscience when the schools were only spelling out their particular dogmas; colleges were dealing with only a few superficial aspects of life; dervish lodges were totally buried in metaphysics; and barracks were posturing and roaring of "might." During that period schools remained under the influence of narrow scholasticism and breathed in and out in its air; colleges were closed to science and thought, deprived of their capacity to develop and lived as if paralyzed; dervish lodges consoled themselves with anecdotes of the past instead of zeal; those who represented power felt falsely that they were forgotten and suffered from a constant need to remind others of and to prove their power. Therefore, everything became upset and the tree of the nation was shaken and almost uprooted from the ground. Unfortunately it seems that we may go on experiencing similar shakes till the day those awaited fortunate people employ the right dynamics in the right time and right place, remove the blockages between mind and heart, and establish the corridors of thought and inspiration in the esoteric dimension of humanity.

The seventh of the attributes of the inheritors is mathematical thinking. In the past the people in Central Asia and later on in the West achieved their renaissances by means of the laws of mathematical thinking. Man discovered and brought to light many uncertain and unknown things in the mysterious world of numbers. Without going to the extremes of the Hurufis, what we say is that without mathematics it is not possible to understand the relations of humanity and natural phenomena with one another. It illuminates our roads like light on the line that stretches from the universe to life; it indicates to us what is beyond the human horizon, even the depths of the world of contingencies, which is very difficult to think upon; and it makes us meet with our ideals.

On the other hand, being mathematical does not mean knowing everything related to mathematics. It is to think mathematically, to think within mathematical laws, and to be aware that it permeates everything from man's thoughts to the depths of existence, from physics to metaphysics, from matter to energy; from body to soul, from law to Sufism. In order to comprehend existence completely, we have to accept a dual method of Sufi thinking and scientific research. The West essentially lacks essence, and has tried to compensate for this loss, as far as it can, by taking refuge in mysticism. In our world, which has always been intimate with the soul of Islam, there is no need to look for anything strange or foreign, or to take refuge in anything. We have all our sources of power within our system of thought and faith. That suffices as long as we comprehend that source and spirit with its original richness. Then we will see some of the mysterious relations in existence, how harmoniously such relations run, and reach a different knowledge of observing and taking pleasure in everything.

This is only a brief summary or introduction to mathematical thinking. Even though it may seem vague and a waste of words at the present, I believe that it will have great echoes in the future.

The eighth of the attributes is our understanding of art. However, due to certain considerations at present, I will say, "Some circles are not ready yet to set out such a journey within our criteria, leave it to some time in the future."