#endgame i say as if either of them rly date other people

[citrustan]

STMF

I absolutely love this story!! It's putting me through the most. I don't like yoongi I'm so sorry. I just think he's incredibly selfish.

Like he keeps feeding into OC's fantasies by buying her flowers and planning her birthday presents and always taking care of her when she's sick and not letting everyone help. It's so domestic no wonder OC thinks they are endgame. But this whole time he was out getting into SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS with OTHER PEOPLE. I know OC said she assumed he was dating but it's one thing to think that and another thing to know that it's true. And it's not just casual relationships but SERIOUS ones. It somehow feels like yoongi managed to compromise on having this domestic relationship with OC without marriage and getting all the physical aspects from the other relationships. Like he's really out here getting the best of both worlds and not telling OC any of it. And why? Even OC said that it's obvious to everyone that she has feelings for yoongi so wouldn't it also be obvious to yoongi himself and telling her that he's in other serious relationships would help her get out of this state of limbo she was in and actually put in some boundaries but he never ever told her.

And her friends are also awful for never telling her the truth. Regardless of whether she wanted to know or not real friends would have told her the truth even if it was hard to hear because she needed to grow. They just let yoongi run about without ever telling OC. Even if the relationships never stuck. The minute that first serious relationship happened Tae should have said something. Tae knew about the other girls and probably knew about the birthday parties yoongi throws for OC and the flowers and etc. He must have seen how confusing this was for her. Whether he approves yoongi's relationship or not he should have said something. Not calling yoongi out is just as bad as saying his behaviour was okay when it wasn't.

Sorry for the rambling I just have strong feelings. But I love the story you've brought us and your writing is brilliant. I hope you continue to stay motivated and have a great day❤️

omg thank u so much (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

don't worry, that's a very popular opinion lmao yoongi rly IS getting the best of both worlds ur right

ANd yes omg yeah if their friends tried to interfere, it certainly didn't work. but just watching them ruin themselves is so not it either 😶

[heleizition]

i never mentionned it but i need u all to know shifter au is timkon endgame bc i have a brand and i stick to it

[hunny-pp]

[ THE MASTERPIECE AU ] Survivor Ji-Woon things, bc i feel like thinking abt him:

Personal Perks:

Platinum Status: “You’ve learnt how to bear the brunt of the darker sides of fame and how to brush it off in a moment’s respite.”

When afflicted by the Exposed Status Effect, Platinum Status activates and you are protected by the Endurance Status Effect. The first hit taken while being Exposed will instead trigger the Deep Wound Status Effect.

After Mending yourself, the Killer’s aura is revealed to you for 5/8/10 seconds

Increases the odds of being the Obsession.

“Seriously? I’ve been in worse scandals than this. At least I won’t need a lawsuit to handle this one.” - Ji-Woon Hak

Showmanship: “Forever mesmerizing, the only thing that upstages you is your lifelong talent for the throwing knife.”

The first Chest you unlock while empty-handed guarantees a Throwing Knife.

When used, the Throwing Knife: -can be used to Stun the Killer when thrown directly at them. -can trigger a loud noise notification when thrown anywhere else.

Once used, Showmanship is on cooldown for 110/100/90 seconds and can be replenished by hiding in a locker and using the Ability button. 

The Throwing Knife is left behind when escaping the Trial.

"Everyone! Keep your eyes on me! If you blink you'll miss the show!" -Ji-Woon Hak

Only Way Up: “You know that you’d be nothing without the unrelenting support of your loyal fans, and that other stars had to dim for you to shine.”

Every time a Survivor other than yourself is killed or sacrificed, Only Way Up gains a token, up to a maximum of 3 Tokens.

When you are the only survivor left, the Exit Gates are available to be opened regardless of Generators left but the rate is reduced by 50/40/30%. If there are no Generators left, there is no reduction.

When Endgame Collapse starts, each token grants a stackable 10/15/20% increase to the timer and there is no longer a reduction to opening the Exit Gate.

“Thank you to everyone who has supported me, and a very special thank you to all my fans!” -Ji-Woon Hak

headcanons below read more

-A degree of his enthusiasm and confidence is a front, on one hand it’s been a part of his stage persona but also as a way of keeping up with people who likely doubt his ability.

-When compared to survivor Yun-Jin, he’s more expressive and it’s harder for him to bottle up things like his frustration and pride, so he does have a tendency of acting ‘unprofessionally’ as co-workers would call it. If he stuns the killer, he’ll be cocky, if he does a stun/blind save he’ll be p cheerful. If things don’t go his way, he’s not afraid of being a little angry abt it. It has resulted in him being punished but he can’t rly help himself.

-I think a fun treat would be that he giggles after a blind or stun >:)

-If there’s one thing Ji-Woon’s surprisingly good at, it’s not panicking. Other survivors have noticed he’s always eerily calm when he’s taking aim with a knife, and when endgame collapse begins and it’s only him left, he’s at his most focused. 

-He definitely felt like he had to prove himself as useful to the group, especially when he felt like his appearance could suggest otherwise. He’s definitely worked to prove his worth, but he does feel like he has to keep that up otherwise they wouldn’t be as tolerant to his behaviour.

-Learning that Adam Francis attended one of his concerts is very surreal for Ji-Woon, and there was a moment where his wounds were being tended to, that Ji-Woon slipped out a bit of vulnerability, apologising to him that “his one and only meet-and-greet, and it’s when he’s in such a state.” and that “You know what they say, never meet your heroes.”. It surprised him when Adam patted his back, telling him that it’s alright.

-“I’m sure having a fan’s support here is invigorating.” “Don’t be stupid, you’re more than that, you’re my friend.”

-I think any time another survivor is taken away just as they open the gates and are about to leave, it affects Ji-Woon personally as it reminds him of how he was dragged away by Yun-Jin when he was trying to save NO SPIN. Now realising that she wanted them dead, he feels like he has to go out and save that survivor no matter the odds and that he’d rather die than leave them behind. In a way, it’s how he expresses that resurfaced guilt of leaving NO SPIN behind. 

-Kate: Doesn’t the fringe get in the way? Ji-Woon: *waving his arms so the fringe swings around* But it’s fun!  Kate: I suppose you’re right :>

-Anytime he’s in a trial against Masterpiece, he has to bite his tongue and keep his head high, especially when he knows she takes enjoyment in his suffering in particular. He can spot the extra hint of glee in her singing, and she takes more time taunting him with mindgames in chases. The one time he snapped at her and he managed to dig a knife into her abdomen, but at the cost of being impaled by her club. The last thing he saw was her smiling at him, so at that point he promised himself that he wouldn’t lose control, no matter how hard it gets.

-She does toy with the fact that he doesn’t want to leave people behind, whether by putting him in dilemmas or taunting him if he’s the only one alive. Ji-Woon just grits his teeth and bears the rising anger.

-Zarina: Hey did you know your former boss is dating the Deathslinger? Ji-Woon: This is the worst day of my fucking life.

-briefly explaining the perks, Platinum Status is meant to be an Anti-Starstruck, so a counter to exposed effects, while a friend suggested Only Way Up - based on No Way Out. As for the knives, I’m thinking that u aim like how u aim w a flashlight, and in addition my logic is that once u throw a knife u have that freedom of either replenishing ur supply or having the space for another item. 

[thestuckylibrary]

Group Ask 118

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

mohnjjayer said:

There’s no tag for the job of writer or blogger for either but I’m looking for a fic where Bucky is a lifestyle blogger (has the word bramble in the title maybe?) and he pretends to have a great life and husband. Tony invites him to his summer house to do a blog post and Bucky makes Sam pretend to be his husband but Tony invites Steve along and the rest is pretty self explanatory

Anon sent in If Only In My Dreams by odetteandodile (complete | 28,317 | T)

bilbo-oak said:

hey y'all wondering if anyone can help me find this fic that I can't find for the life of me. It was a steve/bucky fic and all I remember is that bucky rediscovers sex and sends pepper a romantic porn video of two old men, and then Steve makes them wait three months until they have sex, kinda vague but I hope someone knows which fic this is! thanks!!!

Anon 1 said:

Hello I’m trying to find a fanfic, where Steve gets injured during the fight scene at the end of Civil War. Tony has a shot at Bucky but Steve in the way and gets hit instead. He cracks his head (helmet and all) against the cement. Bucky's worried about him and Tony doesn't want to think about what he'll do if he won't wake up. It was definitely on AO3 in the Stucky works but I can't seem to find it. I'm hoping you can help find it, thank you.

sadandgay007 said:

Okay so I'm looking for a fic? Basically hydra experimented on bucky and now hes an alpha and he decides to give the serum to steve, too, to lrevent him from doing reckless shit? and he turns into an omega? but in this fic there are three types and he is the third, i think it was breeder? and basically all steve eats a lot and needs to be pregnant all the time?

thepheonixqueen said:

Sorry to bother but I'm looking for a post endgame fic where old Steve admits that when he went back in time, he found his past self in the ice in that timeline and shot him. I think it involved 2012 Steve looking for Bucky too.

Anon 2 said:

hi i’m looking for a fic that i think came out before endgame and it was post infinity war. steve was on a mountain (?) and he reversed everything and he walks down the mountain but he’s exhausted and maybe deserumed (?) there’s a tree at one point?

Anon sent in Concerning the Regular Miracles by jinlinli (oneshot | 36,044 | T)

Anon 3 said: steve/others

i cant find this fic pls help? it was 5+1 format I think something to do with steve having sex, he lost his virginity when he was small to his first gf who he broke up with later she didnt support US joining WWII, all the other times were postserum he slept with at least two women during the USO tour (aside from peggy &bucky everyone was an OC i think?), when he's finally with bucky in the future bucky's the one whos a virgin, and it had either day, tomorrow, or yesterday in the title

dolphinqueen10 sent in I'll Think About It Tomorrow by tinzelda (oneshot | 34,203 | E) - steve/others

goalsofmindandbody said:

Can’t find the fic where pepper thinks Bucky and Steve are dating and congratulates them when she’s taking food orders and Bucky asks Steve why she hugged them and they end up pretending to date going out sleeping in the same room Bucky gets excited about and mentions date ideas to Steve they end up sleeping together after Steve is comforting Bucky after a bad dream I think and Bucky makes the first mi d to kiss Steve after he starts saying “whatever you need” or something THANK YOU

painting--words sent in two strangers in the bright lights by Claudia_flies (oneshot | 7,348 | E)

Anon 4 said:

Hello!! I've been looking for a fic forever. Once Bucky moves into the avengers tower everyone loves him and Steve feels left out and alone. Bucky is ignoring him and stuff like that. I believe Steve gets pills for depression. Sorry if this isn't detailed enough. Thank you. ♡

Anon sent in The Avengers pay way too much attention to Bucky by Dulcia (oneshot | 7,298 | not rated) or  Blood on my Hands by Tator (oneshot | 7,820 | G)

the-winnowing-wind said:

Oof, I have vague recollections of a fic where Bucky shows up in Steve's apartment, and Sam is involved, maybe a bath scene? I know this is vague! Thank you!!!!

aimlessunicorn said:

So I reread 38 days and counting which reminded me of another witness protection AU I read and can’t find. They were in Madrid I think and buckys family thought he was dead and Natasha was also an agent

Anon sent in brave boy by rooonil_waazlib (complete | 37,663 | T)

himynameisalcoholic said:

hi, looking for a text where bucky gets his arm scanned at like, an abandoned vet clinic or something? maybe he gets an xray or a cat scan?

Three anons and your-ginger-angel sent in If They Haven’t Learned Your Name* by silentwalrus (complete | 237,623 | M) *graphic violence

Anon 5 said:

Do you know the fic were Bucky is part of a hit group with Nat and Clint, and Steve is part of a hit organisation with pratically everyone else and Steve and Bucky keep getting the same people to kill? I think it was a 5+1 times and Steve keeps trying to get Bucky to join the organisation he works for. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Anon sent in Fifty Words for Murder, and I'm Every One of Them by toomanysharks (complete | 31,610 | T)

Anon 6 said:

I think I asked this already, but I just want to find this fic SO bad. It’s post CAWS and Bucky goes by a different name and lives in an apartment in Russia or Romania. It’s a rly shitty place but the people are Awsome. (Little ballet dancer girl, old woman who cooks for him, etc.) He ALWAYS wears gloves and at one point they all find out who he is??? Steve is at the end and they reunite. I rly appreciate any help. Thank you.

Anon sent in Fistfull of Diapers* by OddityBoddity (complete | 47,621 | T) *graphic violence

Three anons sent in an irrevocable condition by layersofsilence (oneshot | 13,595 | T)

Anon 7 said:

hello! can u guys help me find this fic? i don't remember a lot of details but its winter soldier bucky but steve is either cap or a shield agent,, bucky thinks steve is his new handler and they are on the run together and had to walk for miles. bucky's ankle was sprained but he doesn't tell steve because he was afraid or something. thanks 💗

[kelvintimeline]

STEPHANIE’S POST ACTUALLY SEEING ENDGAME REVIEW--SPOILER FILLED LIST OF EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TIHS MOVIE I COULD NOTICE IN BETWEEN MENTAL RANTS

 okay, so, during the movie, i spent hafl the time compiling rants in my brain about eveyrthing wrong with it and then emailed myself every point so i would not forget what made me mad

this is one of the most passively racist and sexist movies i have seen in a while it was just... completely devoid of any meaningful women or people of color (or... women of color) for so much of the film? and those who were present got shafted a lot. like... literally all of the women except for nebula existed to tell a man’s story.

which brings me to the point that we NEED to talk about the theme of family in this movie--it’s constantly brought up. clint misses his family, tony now has a family (because just dating someone isnt’ a family? this is a very nuclear famiyl oriented understanding of family), gamora and nebula are family, natasha never knew her family but the avengers are her family

and tha’s the crux of it--natasha calls the avengers her family, steve calls avengers family, but that’s not good enough to save her

when natasha and clint are on the cliff, clint makes a great point about why he should die--he’s become a terrible person (he spends half the movie just killing “evil people” who are all people of color, see: talking about how racist this movie is--literally “ronin” clint is better at a samurai sword than a japanese man and now speaks japanese?? why?? it felt like a bad martial arts parody movie--like those racist movies ppl would make about white men slaughtering samurais just not GOOD) and natasha has finally erased the red in her ledger by doing good. natasha dies anyways (literally forces him to kill her) because she’s stopped being useful to her “family” and his family is an actual family.

which brings me to--steve and natasha explicitly talk about two things--how they are family and how it is important to move on.

moving on is a CENTRAL part of this movie--the time travel works in large part so everyone can move on from their losses. thor moves on from his mother’s death, tony gets closure with his father, clint gets what should have been a last moment seeing his happy family, etc. steve gets to see peggy.

steve does not move on. steve LITERALLY HAS MULTIPLE LINES ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO MOVE ON AND STEVE DOES NOT MOVE ON. steve tells a gay man mourning his dead husband while trying to date someone new that moving on is important and steve still goes back in time to stay with peggy.

what’s worse, steve goes back in time and tells bucky to wait for hima nd not do anything stupd KNOWING HE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT BACK BECAUSE HES CHOOSING TO LIVE OUT HIS ENTIRE LIFE IN TEH PAST.

what’s EVEN WORSE THAN THAT--literally right the fuck after bucky and sam gets dusted he’s alreayd thinking about peggy? he never once mentions sam/bucky besides a quick mention of bucky being alive to trick past steve.

more fucked up shit around sam/bucky/steve--sam offers to go back with him but bucky doesn’t?? when old man steve returns, bucky doens’t even try to talk to him? despite being the one to notice him? steve doesn’t stand with bucky and sam at tony’s funeral why?

steve and bucky and sam and so many otehres are FAMILY but not enough family to make steve stay

steve aint worthy

steve apparently DID STAY IN THIS FUCKING TIMELINE? since he didn’t return via the pym particles or wahtever he literally aged into the present AND LET EVERY BAD THING HAPPEN YOu DON’T DO THAT TO PEOPLE YOU LOVE HE LET HYDRA AND TEH WINTER SOLDIER PROGRAM HAPPEN??

unless i don’t udnerstand the time travel--> separate unierse thing which is possible BECAUSE ITS’ FUCKING STUPID

if the universe splits into a different universe when the stones are removed--this would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TIMELINE WHEN THANOS DESTROYED THE STONES which means when tehy returned hte stones, they actually would’ve reverted back to the timeline before he destroyed the stones-an infinite loop

why couldn’t they snap tehir dead back to life?

where did thanos’ army come from?

when his army disappeared why didn’t gamora disappear too?

did they think i would forget that they could de-age people? scott was turned young again--why can’t they make steve young agian, lmao

why didn’t steve take every single vial of particles he could get? like he only took a couple ie as many as were necessary for the plot

how did thanos/gamora/nebula travel on only one vial? why werne’t other ppl sharing vials then??

why was okoye gone all film? like the answer is misogynoir but like... seriosuly why?

WHY DID TONY BLAME STEVE FOR THE SNAP HAPPENING?

WHY DID STEVE SPEND LTIERALLY THE ENTIRE FILMT ELLING TONY HE TRUSTS HIM, THAT TONY IS RIGHT (EVEN WHEN HE WAS EXPLICITLY WRONG AND WAS PROVEN TO BE WRONG), AND THEN CRYING OVE RHIM?

also they still fucked up the timelines?? the timelines are changed AFTER they removed the stones nad yet they did shit to fuck up the timelines trying to get the stones--which means every dumb ass thing they did to get eth stones remains in the timeline. unless steve returns the stones to BEFORE they actually took the stones, in whcih? that makes no sense?

nebula’s “network” connection between her prsent and past self made no sense either

thor literally made valkyrie (who hadn’t been with the asgardians from many years) queen so that they could write her out of his movies as he’s not a member of GOTG

ltos of girl power moments actually worked like that--every time a woman did something cool, it was to harm her in some way. valkyrie is “queen” so she’s no longer relevant to thor’s plot

the moment where all of the girls (besides the dead ones :) ) teamed up just had them get beaten down in teh end? like it was for nothing? that’s not... girl power. also, they wouldn’t even be able to fit all of the important men into one screen so it’s just embarrassing

talking about weird shit about women--EVEYR woman EVER in the series comes back but they don’t even mention sharon, the girl steve was dating, at all, like even confirm if she was dusted or not, beacuse they know that makes steggy look bad

literally even JANE got new moments but sharon couldn’t come up

talking about jane--making thor hung up on her is fucking weird he has a girlfriend? who he treats like shit, tbf. thor’s character was an extended fat joke. he liteally says he isn’t fit to be king and that he was just pretending aftter getting a speech from his mother saying that isn’t true. ragnarok thor was killed off in the worst way. also his mother literally existing just to be like... an emotional spport woman was misgoynistic as fuck lmao

like thor’s cahracter WHOMST?

also, like, the hail hdyra moment was the nastiness shit i’ve seen in a long fucking time?? including antisemitism in your movie just ot reference a comic book run that was panned by both people who hate antisemitism and also antisemitic fanboys who like good writing (like it just wasn’t written well) is just... antisemitic. it was a reference for anti semitism’s sake

the moments they choose to get this shit was also so fuckign arbitrary? you couldn’t retrieve half these stones at like... normal times? also how did they know where to find them in the shield vaults or like where to find the pym particles

the writing in this movie was just ‘what is most convenient for moving the plot along/fanservice/humanizing tony’

talking about humanizing tony did pepper give birth like the sceond after the snap? their child is so old for a five year time skip like... i guess since tony didn’t lose anyone in the snap besides peter it didn’t affect how horny he was

also the peter/tony stuff was so oevrblown???????? THEY WEREN’T CLOSE?? TONY TREATED HIM LIKE SHIT FOR 80% OF HOMECOMING??

its so nice and convenient that ned got snapped too--all of peter’s friends get snapped so no one is 22 and out of high school (also i refuse to watch far from home because i feel like old man steve dying is just gonna be a fly by comment)

talking about the snap--the list of names in the graveyard made sense but it felt like a war/actual genocide memorial and it felt... cheap and gross and also why teh fuck was it placed in that random part of town?

ALSO LIKE?? wanda and clint talk and they make it seem like vision and natasha’s death are equally bad the mcu rly does just ahte women

also the women all get make overs?? why is natasha dying her hair in the middle of the end of the world

why did tony get a funeral but natasha doesn’t?

the guardians having a funny moment with thor instead of discussing gamora felt........ bad

there were two steves in the main universe how the fuck does that make sense?????? how does that not affect the timeline also what happened to peggy’s husbAND?

there are other things wrong with it but this is all i wrote down in my emails to myself. there were a lot of individual moemnts that pissed me off but then something else would happen to piss me off and i would forget what i was mad about before that

[soccialcreature]

So I’ve never watched voltron, but I want to know what happened to upset so many of you

The new season was just like...... all around bad.

Like every possible thing that they cudve messed up they did.

1) One of the big things is how proud they were for announcing that Shiro is gay for LGBT rep only to never actually address it in the show? I mean there was one flashback with his boyfriend but if I didn’t already know they were dating I don’t think I would’ve caught that. Oh and then they kill his boyfriend in the most useless and unnecessary way before they even get to see each other again. So basically, queerbaiting to the max

2) Literally they just introduced these side characters and all of them got more development and screen time than the main characters. It really felt like everyone was sidelined this season.

3) Everyone was soooo out of character it actually hurt. Mostly Keith, who was one of my favs before this season. He’s had all these arcs and all this development and I guess it just leads up to him being an asshole? Like more of an asshole than he started out as. And they gave him a female love interest out of nowhere, and you know how much we love that. Esp since he’s so ovbs a gay coded character. Also he looks rly ugly

4) Kind of staying on the OOC topic, Lance’s character arc this whole series has basically been being about how he always comes up second and feels like he is just a filler for someone else (mostly Keith), or just feeling like he doesn’t bring anything to the team. And a little background here: Lance’s crush Allura kissed this guy Lotor but then they broke up. I mean other stuff happened... robots... fighting... but thats the gist of it. And Allura knew Lance liked her before she went off and kissed Lotor. So know that Lotor is gone, she suddenly is in love with Lance and it just came completely out of no where. This is literally the worst way to go for both of their characters. Lance being a second choice, and Allura being pushed into the ‘girl that is only there to be a love interest’ narrative.

5) Just the overall feel now that they’re back on Earth. They kind of turned it into a dystopian world that reminds me of literally every other YA dystopian movie that we def hav enough of these days. I just couldn’t get into it or get excited about things. Maybe it has to do with the castle being gone, which is where the entire series has been set up until now. Think Central Perk in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

6) Just... the whole queerbaiting thing. Again. Now it’s not all about ships, but the big big ship in this fandom is Keith and Lance, who it’s starting to look like both end up with girls. That would not be considered queerbaiting if they hadnt:

Taged trailers and other official videos as #klance

Been super vague about the LGBT rep

Compared other canon ships to Klance

Called their relationship turning romantic “Natural progression”

Always using gender neutral pronouns for Lance’s romantic endgame

Saying Lance and Keith are compatible in every way except for their names

Having Lance hold up a sign that says LGBT in this one drawing

Saying “don’t worry, you’ll be happy” when asked about LGBT rep

Why the hell would anyone think we would be happy about this? Do you think it was because they killed one of the gay characters? Or do you think it was because they’ve been torturing the other one for 7 seasons? Or maybe it was just because they didn’t actually acknowledge that either of them were gay in the actual show? 

And literally just dropping every bit of development their relationship had (which was, a lot) in the previous 6 seasons for literally no reason.

There are just so many better things they could have done. They’ve built this awesome world, and fanon vld is literally the best show ever, but I guess we weren’t seeing it for what it actually was. Which is basically every other stupid show on the planet.

The worst part is that the showrunners take zero criticism. Like they cant even acknowledge that they did anything wrong. For 2 years they’ve been saying “be patient, I promise we have a plan”. Like what the hell is your plan gonna be when all your fans just stop watching the show because it sucks ass? The fandom has held out hope for this show for way too long with no payoff. And people are finally starting to realize that.

[chrliekclly]

do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

[darby-drabbles]

Okay, so!! I made a couple posts last night, just casually talking about how I don’t really talk about some serious oc topics and how I usually feel weird posting them or going too in depth, like it’s not the right time to bring up the serious and sad topics or something like that. But after making those posts I actually started to ramble about something?? I went longer than I thought, though, it was hard to finish up this post and it was pretty late when I did. And, since I’m gonna be busy later today I decided I’d just, queue this for the morning an hope for the best.

I’ll put it under a read more, but this post will be talking about Izzy’s pregnancy/miscarriage so tw for that!

I’ve briefly mentioned before that Izzy got pregnant by Nate twice,, once during their first relationship and again years later after they hookup after the breakup with Chrissy. I might change this, but originally it was before they got back into an actual relationship again, it was just from a hookup? But also originally, they weren’t really going to be “an endgame couple”.. Now that I decided that they definitely stick together I may have this happen when they’re (just barely) in a relationship again. Still working things out, I guess!

She miscarried once and had an abortion once, but I switched which happened first. Originally she lost the first pregnancy before she even knew she was pregnant and aborted the second time, since their relationship was more like a rebound hookup at the time and she wouldn’t have wanted to have a baby that way. But at some point, since I started building up their Second Relationship more, I actually switched that. She aborts the first time, because they were younger and she just wasn’t ready for it. (I mean she’s Still Not Ready but like. they were much younger and immature for sure) and the after Chrissy one was a miscarriage. She still didn’t really know she was pregnant for A While, but she did find out before she lost the pregnancy. I do not knoow if Nate knew..

The reason I mentioned Mark’s girlfriend, Anna, in this post was because of the pregnancy, and that’s kinda why I started making this post I guess? I don’t think she knew toooo much about her suicide attempt, she knew it happened just because she’s so close to Mark and Mark is obviously very invested in the lives of Izzy and his lil brother, but it was still pretty private between Izzy and Nate for the most part, you know? But with the pregnancy,, Izzy didn’t really feel comfortable going to NAte? She was kinda worried about how he’d react (but she shouldn’t have been,,, that makes me sad ahhh) just because she wasn’t doing too good she got worried about it.. And she doesn’t have a ton of people to turn to for advice about this kind of stuff, but I think she’s decently close enough to Mark’s girlfriend to ask for help. Again Anna wouldn’t have said specifics about it at all to anyone,, it’s Izzy’s personal business, but she’s close to Minnie and she’d just spent a lot of time in the hospital with a vry freaked out Izzy and I’m sure she’d mention that they were there, at least.

But anyway.. That seemed like a tangent... Izzy was depressed and felt pretty numb, she wasn’t eating much and stayed in bed a lot. Band practice was on hold for a bit and she took some time off her job w/ all the sick days she could manage. (When she did go in,, she wasn’t always There and zoned out a lot, but she had to do something) It wasn’t all BAD and she was definitely, slowly getting better. But a lot of days seemed to blur together, even when she spent them with Nate, even when things seemed alright. She liked the idea of sleeping with Nate more than actually doing it at the time, but she liked it as a distraction, and if that made her seem happy he’d, try to make her happy. She was on the pill but lost track of that very easily and whoops a daisy baby... But she didn’t realize she was pregnant, either? A lot of symptoms she passed off for other reasons,, she got sick bc she was drinking on an empty stomach, she felt tired and sore bc she just Always Was now. No period???? Her cycle was always messed up it didn’t matterrr.

When she finally suspected it, I think Drew and Mark were spending time with her and Nathan,, at his suggestion to maybe help get her mind off things. Izzy mentioned how she’d felt sick lately or something so of course, like he practically always does when Izzy says she was sick no matter the reason bc he’s a jackass,,,, Drew jokingly asks if she was pregnant, which she immediately laughed off and rejected like always because no way shut up.. But then she thought about it for a while. And.. maybe?!??? But that wasn’t something she wanted to talk about with her bandboys so she just kinda tries to stop thinkin about it. Of course she doesn’t stop though, the thought was planted in her head and I think the next day she sees if Mark can come over agaaain and bring his gf. And at some point when the bros are talking Izzy gets Anna alone and asks if she can get her a pregnancy test and keep it hush hush on the dl. She does and Izzy finds out she’s pregnant For Sure and gets very numb again. So Anna’s basically the first to know?? They weren’t incredibly close but they get along and it was good to have her there for support, even if she didn’t really know what to do to comfort her. Izzy just went to bed and cried so Anna and Mark had a kinda weird quiet dinner w Nathan and left... And when Nate came in to check on Iz she was already sleeping so he just snuggled up to her for the night.

It wasn’t long between when she found out she was pregnant to when she miscarried, just a couple days. She was pretty much a nervous wreck the whole time, tryin to figure out what she would do about it. She probably didn’t even tell Nathan, so she was thinking about how to do That, too, which made her even more nervous. Nate wasn’t there at the time and she was feeling awful with rly bad cramps and she was basically just curled up on the bathroom floor for a long time. It affected her very badly. She called Anna again since She Knew already and Nate was busy with whatever. It was,, unexpected to get a call to come over alone since, again, they weren’t That Close, but of course she did. And when Anna sees how bad Izzy was she called for paramedics,, which Iz hated she hates/is scared of hospitals and really did not want to go but clearly something was vry wrong so she didn’t really have a choice. So, again,,, Anna is the first to know she lost the pregnancy. [[It’s kinda weird to talk about Anna so much, I know she’s a minor character I’ve rarely mentioned and you probably don’t know her besides being a gf to the drummer,,, but, when this happens it’s pretty much her biggest role and connection to Izzy?? And since I hadn’t Really talked about it before,, you wouldn’t really know that?? Sorry about that!]]

Anna calls both Mark and Nathan to let them know where they’re at, but doesn’t really say what happened, she leaves that up to Izzy. I think she’d tell them both,, though she definitely wouldn’t have told Mark immediately at the hospital, that would take a while. Now that it’s,, over, I guess, she actually probably has an easier time telling Nathan, it’s just, more upsetting. Nate would’ve been supportive no matter what she decided to do about the pregnancy, and he doesn’t blame her for not telling him right away while she tried to sort out her feelings about it, but, he was upset he couldn’t fully be there for her. Izzy wanted to tell him about it, she just had to work up the courage first and it was a little too late, unfortunately. Izzy would definitely feel bad about it at first, but they actually talk about it for a while afterwards, I don’t think they’d ever really, ignore their feelings about what happened from each other, so that can be therapeutic.

I don’t want this to end so horribly sad, but I don’t know how to cheer it up while staying on topic and not completely ruining the mood and all. But I will say, this is essentially, the lowest point before Izzy’s on the road to recovery and things look up from here. She gets her depression more managed on medication again, her relationship with Nathan is definitely more official, ((and also,,, the version of the story with the mix n match ship?? They start dating Izzy after this, too! Two new bfs...... maybe even four. Lucky Girl.)) She starts writing songs and singing and playing bass again, so the band comes back from their little break. And they get good and play shows and do little tours again! They both want kids with each other eventually, it would just be much farther in the future, and they’d probably adopt, but,,, maybe someday. It’s not all perfect and it’s not like she doesn’t still get sad about this,, and this story is pretty much open ended, but, she’s much better I know!! A lot of the time I draw Izzy now is after this happens, since I love thinkin about Izzy and Nate being back together, and I love drawing her happy. so. That’s how you know that it’ll work out. :,))

Thank you for reading my big long sad post!