#enchantedstylespectrum

[enchantedstylespectrum]

Who can tell me who I am ?

It's really hard to grow up in this society where everybody tells you who you are and who you have to be. We get so confused about out own identity that we need astrology and tarot cards to know who we are ! But isn't that crazy ? Shouldn't I be the only one to know who I am and who I should be ?

In this adventure of a life we're living, let's make a table turn to see who is valuable to judge who we are.

My mother

Your maternal figure is the person that influences you in various aspects of your emotional, psychological and social development. She has an impact on your emotional foundation, as the primary source of emotional security. She should provide emotional validation, teaching how to process and express feelings, which is essential for emotional intelligence.

For feminine living beings, a motherly figure can be a first role model for independence, femininity and relationships. We observe and internalize our mother's behavior, values and attitudes.

But a mother's comments and attitudes about appearance, health and self-care is inherently of a significant influence for a girl or a feminine being. If positive reinforcement from a mother can help her daughter develop a healthy sense of self-worth, a negative apprehension of body image and self-worth can lead to self-destructive behaviors and self-hatred.

A strained maternal relationship can lead to issues with self-esteem, trust or emotional expression, and when the biological mother is absent or uninvolved, we tend to find other maternal figures because of the unstoppable attachment we need to feel.

As beautiful as it is, this connection is toxic enough to not let this maternal figure take the control of your identity. You don't have to be your mother, and even less the version she would have dreamt to become at your age. You should be YOU ! And if that's not enough for your mother, then fuck her.

My father

The paternal figure often represents authority, stability, and sometimes a sense of protection. His beliefs and attitudes can shape your worldview, but they are not the final word on who you are or what you’re capable of. Like with your mother, respect his influence, but don’t let it box you in.

A father will easily try to protect his daughter, but it can be more like imprisonment when he forbids everything so that nothing bad happen. You have to distance yourself with the effect of his words, because you can't stay on the verdict of a man, even your father, when he says you're a little flower that needs protection. And so what if you are a big warrior that fight sword in hand ?

My friends

Friends can be mirrors reflecting parts of who you are—or who you’re becoming. They offer support and companionship, but their validation should not be the measure of your worth. True friends will encourage you to be unapologetically yourself.

If you feel like you are being ashamed by your friends when you were feeling okay or even good about yourself, but they had something to say about you or your outfit anyway, well, first thing first, CHANGE YOUR FRIENDS. But moreover : don't let their words affect you. It may seem easy to say but if they are truly your friends, they should be accepting and celebrating who you are and how you present yourself to the world, not bringing you down for some weirdness or differences.

My idols

Idols and role models inspire us, showing what’s possible. But idolization can become a trap if it leads to unrealistic comparisons or a loss of individuality. Admire their strengths, but remember they are human too, with flaws and struggles of their own.

Beauty magazines

Media often presents a narrow and unattainable definition of beauty and success. These images can distort self-perception and fuel insecurity. The truth is, beauty and value are subjective; they cannot be captured in a one-size-fits-all mold.

The power of SELF-DEFINITION

Your identity is a tapestry woven from your values, passions, and experiences. Here are some ways to reclaim and reinforce your sense of self:

Introspection: Spend time reflecting on what truly matters to you. Journaling, meditation, or creative expression can help you uncover your core identity.

Set Boundaries: Be conscious of whose opinions you allow into your inner world. Not everyone deserves a say in who you are.

Embrace Change: Identity is fluid. Allow yourself to evolve without guilt or fear of judgment.

Seek Meaning: Rather than looking for labels to define you, focus on creating a life that feels meaningful to you.

CONCLUSION

In a world full of voices telling you who you should be, your greatest challenge is learning to listen to your own. Embrace the influences that uplift you and discard those that diminish your sense of self. Remember, you don’t need anyone’s permission to be the person you’re meant to be. Let you be enough. Always.