#enby farts

[kipercrow]

A Gassy Roomate

Based on: ​​https://at.tumblr.com/imagineyourgassyotp2/imagine-person-a-of-your-otp-is-apartment-hunting/yktjrcnuqeud

Kevin: 24 (He/They)

Saige: 25 (They/Them)

I stared at the computer screen, scrolling from webpage to webpage. I need an apartment rather quickly. I got a job as a writer for a Pop Culture website. Right now I live with my parents, sure it’s fine but the commute to the office is pretty long, and I need somewhere closer. So, I’ve been spending the past few days looking for apartment listings or roommate offers. So far the apartments have either been too small, not have enough light, and definitely have no room for a goat let alone a dog. I keep scrolling and scrolling when suddenly I see an offer that feels too good to be true. 

Hello! Looking for a roommate to cover 10% of the rent. I will cover the rest of the $1,217 rent and as I work from home I will be able to make any meals to accommodate your living experience. I have a slight medical condition, I am willing to go into more detail about it during our face to face visit. 

If you are interested please send an email through the contact button on top, include “Roommate” in your subject line. 

Saige

The images Saige included of the apartment are amazing. It looks really spacious and Saige has good taste in furniture. The bedroom that they show looks really nice, I think I can feel comfortable here. What’s the worst that can happen? I always send my location to my parents, you know, just in case I go missing. So I decide to send Saige an email.

Hi! My name is Kevin. I saw your roommate offer and I am willing to meet up to see the place and talk to you. 

I write some more letting them know about my job and how much I make. A minute after I send the email, Saige responds. They let me know what time we can meet later today, which works out really well for me since I have nothing else to do today. 

I got out of the train and walked over to Saige’s building. Their apartment is on the second floor and so far everything seems pretty good, no complaints from me. Knock on the door and Saige greets me when they open it. “Hey nice to meet you face to face, come on in” I enter the apartment and it’s as amazing as I thought it’d be. “Wow it’s really nice” I say, smiling afterwards. “Heh, thanks. I tried my best. Of course if you decide to move in, you can add whatever you want. Unless it’s like an animal head. I draw the line there.” “Haha don’t worry, I don’t like that kind of stuff.” “Great! Follow me and I’ll show you your room. Over there is my bedroom and the bathroom is right across the hall from you.” This is great!” The room is pretty spacious, and it shouldn’t be too hard to bring whatever I need over. We walk over to the living room and sit on the couch, past the living room I can see the kitchen, it looks pretty big as well. “So Kevin, what do you think?” “I think this is all pretty great. I mean this apartment is big and spacious. It’s close to the subway-” as I talk I see Saige shifting in his seat, and they look uncomfortable, “- You seem really great. The building is clean. I have a few questions, are there any bugs that sneak in?” “Ahh no, no bugs” “Great! How noisy are the neighbors?” “They’re great, just great.” “Awesome! Okay so, in the post you said that you’re willing to go into your medical condition.” Before Saige could answer we were greeted with a noise that a lot of us are familiar with.

PPPBBBRBRRRBPTTTTTT

Saige instantly goes red. “Oh my gosh I’m so so sorry” I fan the air in front of me and laugh. “No no it’s fine, that was good. My uncle would be jealous!” Saige gets up and opens a window. “Okay so, my slight medical condition is that I have chronic gas, well I’ll go more into it. It’s like related to how my insides work. I used to have a lot of cramps and stuff you don’t want to hear about, but now because I’ve been adjusting my diet and the food I make has let me survive this long. So-” they stop and hold up a finger and lean to the left.

BBRBRRBRRTRTTTT

“-All I have now is gas. Which I totally get if you don’t want to move in with me because of that. I’ve lost so many roommates because of my farts.” I looked back at him. “That’s it? You just fart a lot?” “Yeah pretty much.” “I don’t mind it that much. They don’t smell that bad and I can be gassy depending on what I eat. So I don’t think I have a reason to worry.” “You really don’t mind it?” “Of course not.” “So will you be thinking of moving in?” “Yes! I’m happy to move in.” “Great, we can sign the lease tomorrow and you can move in after that” “That sounds great. Thank you so much” We stand up and shake hands and I go on my way.

-1 Week Later-

A week has gone by since I saw Saige’s apartment and signed the lease. I’ve moved in little by little and have put up most of my things and gotten a dresser for my clothes. I have a box of some pictures I want to put up but there’s no rush. Tonight is my first night in the apartment. I'm kind of nervous, but Saige is making dinner for us. After changing into my pajamas, I walk to the kitchen.

PBPBPBRTTT

“Hungry?” Saige said not bringing the fart to attention. “Yeah, the food smells good. What is it?” I ask.

BRBRPRBP

“Some roasted veggies, salmon, and some white rice. I hope you like it.” “I’m sure I will.” Ever since I moved in, Saige has been farting. It’s true that they do fart more than another person, but thankfully the smell isn’t so bad. The smell of the food they’re cooking greatly overpowers the stench of their gas. I haven’t farted in front of them yet but they don’t seem to mind. “Here, tell me if the rice is done.” they say handing me a spoonful. As soon as I taste it, the rice tastes so wonderful. I’m not sure how they did it, but the rice is different from any other type of rice I’ve eaten before. “It’s amazing. I think it’s perfect.” “Great! I’m glad to hear that.” They turn off the stove for the rice and check in the oven. 

BRAAPPP

“Okay, just a little bit more for the veggies and salmon to be done. Then we can eat.” they say as we walk over by the sink. “So Kevin, how do you like it so far?” they ask me, smiling. “Really great. I feel really comfortable here” I respond. As if to accentuate my point, I feel gas heading on out.

PBRTT

“Hey nice! You finally let one rip!” “I told you I was feeling comfortable.” “I guess it’ll take you some time to match up to mine.” We laugh after they say that. Saige walks over to the oven, turns it off, and pulls out the veggies and the salmon. “Alright food is done, sit down at the table and I’ll serve you.” I sit at the table and watch Saige serve us food. We eat together and talk about what we want to do later, we settle on a movie night. We also set some ground rules about farting at the table. We agreed that it’s alright to fart at the table, unless the other person’s mouth is open and unless people are at the table with us.

Saige and I moved to the living room, sitting next to each other on the couch, resting our legs on foot rests. Saige put on ‘Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase’, I haven’t seen the movie in a while but it’s a fun watch.

PRBRRPBPRBTTTTT

“Sorry about that, my food makes me gassier” they say.

BRRBRBTBTB

BRBRBRBBR

“If it gets to you, you can open a window.” “It’s no problem.” As we sit and watch the movie, Saige lets out a couple more farts, my stomach rumbles.

BBRRRAAPPP

Woah, that was bigger than my usual ones! “Nice one man!” Saige says, extending their hand towards me. I high five him back. “Thanks”

PPBBBPRBRTTTTT

PBRRBRPTTTTPBRTT

PRPBTT

“Guess I’m gassy today haha” “Oh no, is my food having an affect on you.” “Probably not. Must be a mix of my emotions, and so what if it does. That just means I can keep up with you now.” I smile at them. They smile back and then lean to the side and let out another fart.

PRBRBPRBRPBRBTTTTTRBPTBTTTTTRBPTBT

“Oh that’s great! I was nervous that you were going to move out.” “Oh no I wouldn’t, not for a little farting. You know it’s great that at my job we have our own cubicles, so there’s no worry about anyone walking into my farts. I mean the amount you fart is nothing compared to the gas from my boss. Phew! He must let rip like 10 a minute. I think it’s all the protein powder he intakes” I say before laughing. I lean to my right and let out another fart.

RBRBBRBRBRBRBRBTT

“That was a good one Kevin!” they hold up a finger

PRRRRRRTTTTTTT 

BRRRAAPPPPPPP 

PBRBRTTTTTTT

Three farts in quick succession! “You have a talent Saige!” “Heh thanks! I’ve been thinking about heading to the gym more. Let me know what protein powder your boss gets so we can beat him at his own game.” I lean forward slightly

PRRRRRRPRUTUTTTTT

BRPRTTTT

“Will do! You’re pretty muscular Saige. Anyone would love to have a body like yours” “Ha thanks! You have a good body yourself. At least you don’t have my gas!” they say winking afterwards. I blush a little. Saige lifts their leg slightly.

PBRBBRRBRRTTTTTTTTTRBBRTTT

PBRRBRRRRRRRRRRRTTTBTBTTTTBPTBB

We spend the rest of the movie ripping farts when we need to. They put their arm around me, and I put my head on their chest. I really like Saige, they make me feel safe. I’m glad to be their roommate. 

Once the movie ends we head to our rooms to call it a night. I let Saige use the bathroom first, I can see them brushing their teeth.

BRRRRUUURRBTUTTTTTT

When they’re done in there, I head in and brush my teeth. I can hear Saige farting in their room. I head back to my room, once I do Saige pokes their head in. “Hey, just wanna say goodnight. Oh and if you wake up before me tomorrow, the pots and pans are in the oven.” “Thanks. Night Saige.” Saige turns around but stands in place.

PBPBRBRRBRRTTTTT

“That’s my goodnight kiss.” they say before heading off to bed. I laugh and close my door.

BBRRBTTT

BRRRTTT

PBRTTT

Ha..the food did a number on me for sure. I grab my phone and see that I have a text from my boss. “Kevin! Don’t come in tomorrow, we’re doing an online day. Sorry for the inconvenience, take care!” As I get done reading this, I hear Saige farting in their room.

PPBRBRPRRBRRBRBBRBBBTTTT

Tomorrow is going to be a fun day.

[arensound]

I’m binging on popcorn again and it’s taking a Toll. My ass just went off for a good 11 seconds 😩

and these are getting dangerously bubbly …

will someone be a good little dear and put their face between my legs? 🥹 just wanna run my hands through their hair as they inhale these damp toots

[orions-gassy-ass]

Was working in a kitchen area today and they had a section of things that weren't bad but gonna be real soon and I saw that there was an almost full half-gallon carton of whole milk.

I love milk but I'm lactose intolerant so the whole car ride home after work I was hotboxed by my own gas. It smelled so bad but felt so good to let out. Would have been fun to have a gassy friend on the drive back with me for double the fun tho~

[eproctopatronum]

my assigned FBI agent seeing how many gross videos of me farting are on my phone

[eproctopatronum]

Should I start posting my farts on here?

more men n enby fart vids 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

[princesspuffi]

Mirror selfie are my favorites 😊

[mahesiyah]

I never thought I’d need to explicitly say this, but…

TERFs/FARTs DNI!!!

Thanks and goodbye forever.

[the-trash-eating-llama]

Welcome, one and all!

I am The Trash Eating Llama, and I have a gift for your noise holes!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1w5GbcT7uL99GPf_QZqR934ibSBtSsK0s/view?usp=drivesdk

Fresh from ðe forges of my work space!

Ðis song (as well as ðe album it belongs to) have been in ðe works for 4 years, so I do hope you enjoy!

And, to my lovely mutuals, I call to you now.

@polaritheblackluma @spectral-ash @ahamkaracature @catbookcat @notacopperhead

@treepyro @delaneythedyke @magixta @fearthegayfrogs @weaponizedtit

@tangerineflavouredduck @dots-x86 @electronic-bug @words-for-alice @lance-more

@littleyellabellyaintya @whilst-farting-i @by-foolish-design @clay-the-pot @meepmoopmaap

@thegingerfaggot @kowsheennya @punk-enby-parent @uncomfortablehomosapien @dlight98

@2extra @grimdark-gnostic @raptor-pawns @official-mudskipper @volinare

@scriptershifter @trickysloth-biblospemtri @caspian-theghost @ditzyme @calauratrickster

@403mice @bleedingbonemarrow @the-later-fandom-historian @genderfluid-bastard @crimsxnsxul

@prismbreakers @mahagony-aunt @seventytwoowls @ilickedanenvelopeandilikedit @blattella

@static-stars @reeama-the-mage @warpedmine @suffer-my-beloved-mutuals @mothlet-incarnate

50 is ðe max amount of mentions, so I'll get ðe oðer 200 in ðe next reblogs.

[nightmareishomophobic]

About the creator

I'm really cool.

That's it. /j

I'm 14!!! I'm also bigender (boy and enby) who uses Fae/It/He pronouns and I go by the name Xenon!

I have ADD/innatentive ADHD, anxiety and PTSD.

I try to be as supportive as possible.

I support POC, queer, neurodivergent, disabled, agere/petre/agedre/petdre people and more stuff :D

I dni with proshippers/comshippers, pedos, nsfw accounts (you're aloud to enjoy nsfw stuff. I just don't wanna see it.), sexists, homophobes/transphobes/TERFS (aka FARTS), racists and other bad people.

If I need to add more I'll do it later lol.

[jenjensd]

TERFs have harassed me for making a little post calling them Feminism Appropriating Radical Transphobes. That was not tagged anything but trans positivity and how I personally found it funny. They are ruthless if they don’t like you, even getting ableist comments and suicide baiting from them.

die

Good news, random asshole! There’s a 100% chance I will.

[spacelazarwolf]

Lmao so I'm amab enby and naturally make just like. A fucking fart in the winds worth of my own T, so I need store bought. Because of this my face has always been androgynous enough that folks have never been able to gender me easily, and as a result, I've been called every gendered slur imaginable!

They do not care that they don't apply!! They clocked that I'm faggy in every presentation! I do not perform whatever gender they're assigning me as correctly and that's all that matters! No one is taking the time to analyse my hormone balance before they call me a slur and I am begging young queers to learn that

!!!!!!!!!!!

[arensound]

Went to the gym yesterday and something about the stretches and lifts I was doing had my gut worked up to an eleven 💀.

Every squat, every press was just pushing out the longest low rumbling fart. My shorts were heating up faster than I was… and I swear to god one of the rips had such a high pitched squeak to it. I was so red with embarrassment. Wish I had a cute gym partner who could spot me while secretly huffing up all my workout gas. Can’t be too weak tho, cause the pre workout was feeding these fumes with some vile spiciness 🥵💜

[orions-gassy-ass]

Just got myself off around a toy a couple times so my whole crotch was fully soaked and then pressed the toy in as deep as I could and let out the bubbliest, wettest post-orgasm farts. Gonna drift off to sleep with my toy pressed nice and tight in my hole

[eproctopatronum]

Cw// farts, eprocto

kinda really into the idea of someone who’s into guys farting try to guess what I last ate based off of how my farts smell.. if they get it right maybe a reward of more farts or they get to eat my ass as a treat 🥰

[princesspuffi]

Are this the biggest thighs you have ever seen ?😊

[sourcreammachine]

as much as i love the acceptance of gender-neutral toilets it is kinda a shame how we never got enby-only public bogs. me and the crew in there having farting competitions fr