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objectively a stupid thing to get irritated or upset by, but i really hate when people at the centre try to tell me how lucky i am for the life i live or how good i have it, esp when they tell me they had it sooooo much worse when they were my age. they do not know me. they do not know my life. they have no idea what my situation is.
they see somebody who is exceedingly polite and unerringly kind and shows up in nice clothes most of the time. they see that i draw in a sketchbook. they see that i work on the jigsaw puzzle. they see that i hold the door for people. they see that i greet people and ask people questions about themselves in a way that makes others feel seen and heard and appreciated.
now what the fuck are they getting from that that makes them think they know anything about me or my mental health or life situation!!! if anything they should be curious because I share so little about myself with people, I tend to keep things focused on others because that's safest for me. do they not question why i am at the mental health centre so often if i apparently seem like i have such a great life ????
#and perhaps this is oversharing but i have literally been keeping relapse cuts hidden under my sleeves almost all week long lmfao#which feels... fitting for this. symbolism moment lol#also i know people are self-absorbed esp if they have mental health shit going on#and i know i think about others way more than the average person. but like. cmon. do not assume all that shit about me#it was really fucking hard not to snap at this one lady today who is always telling me how lucky i am for what she assumes i have in life#maam allow me to just push up my shirt sleeve like two inches. do you see? shut up! shut up! you don't know me!!!#and i AM aware of how good i have it compared to others. i have food. i have shelter. i have the centre to spend time at during the week.#i have my old lady group once a week if i choose to attend. i have enough social awareness to function somewhat in society#i have some very nice belongings that i get to call my own. clothing that i like. public transit system. some craft supplies.#there are good things. there are privileges that i am lucky to have. i see this and i am grateful for it.#but there is also a lot that i am massively struggling without. safety for one. a family that actually cares for me. mental stability!#emotional stability too lmfao! enough energy to do more than 1-3 tasks in a day! affordable food or perhaps just a form of income!#i dont know. i'm just really tired and frustrated with people. its unfair of me to be frustrated w them bc yeah i guess i do look like-#-i have it together on the outside to people. and all these people struggle with social awareness and etiquette so... sigh.#i should not be annoyed but i am struggling to be patient with these people when they assume this shit about me#because there isn't really anything i can say to them other than nodding vaguely and smiling. like i can't argue lol#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#self harm tw
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