#emmrevere

[quill-pen]

@rom-e-o Little Ms. Guinevere was definitely a jock in her boarding school days. Field hockey, cheer club, cross country, archery, skiing, fencing, soccer(football--whatever), basketball, gymnastics for a while, martial arts, etc. She also did lots of the more academic extracurriculars (and sewing--she started a sewing/fashion club,). All to avoid having to spend so much extra time with her grandparents after school and on weekends. Because if she wasn't spending her time "well-rounding" herself, she would've had to go spend time with them to prevent her "wasting time". So girl just literally latched on to everything she could to spend as little time as possible with the old windbags.😅 But also, she did genuinely enjoy most of the activities she was involved in, whether she was particularly good at some of them or not.

She might have done sports at university but her grandparents were insistent that now was the time to only focus on her studies and nothing else. And, as we know, they are not to be denied. At least, not without significant consequences.

But that's also another huge reason behind her insecurities and why she feels so remorseful when Emmrich sees old pictures of her; she does not look like that kickass girl anymore, without even considering just the natural passage of time. In those pictures, she looks healthy, strong, muscular, normal, beautiful. She's glowing, she has her real hair, even her butt looks great and like something substantial (and she's never had much junk in the trunk to begin with). She's confident, has no fear, looks like she can do anything--take the world by storm.

And then sickness hit her and that badass young woman... is just gone. The diseases eat her away, murder her, and bury her. The prevent Emmrich from meeting that amazing girl. They prevent him from having the love of that amazing girl, who was so much more worthy of him.

Now, he's just stuck with... Guinevere. Post-diagnosis Guinevere. Sick Guinevere. Unworthy Guinevere. Defective Guinevere. The pathetic, useless husk of who she used to be.

And all she can do is cry and apologize: "I'm so sorry you have to be stuck with a worthless shell when she's the one you deserve."