#elsa is a goddamn idiot who wont care for herself

[swimmingnewsie]

Rest Your Eyes, Weary Traveller

@agentphilindaisy requested a fic of Elsa being sick and refusing to admit it, causing the spirits and Honeymaren to be a bit fussy over her. My friend @justlookatthosesausages didn’t want to write the thing fearing influence of other works, so I asked nicely and took the prompt on myself.

So please enjoy!

Link to AO3

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Elsa’s eyes were weary as she rode Nokk to Atohallan. The past week and a half had been difficult. An illness had been making its rounds through the tribe, and it was putting everyone through the ringer. The tribe’s healers and apothecaries worked day in night to monitor and care for the ill. And though she was not a healer herself, Elsa was doing her part running amuck making ice packs to alleviate fevers for the elders and children. She would have continued that duty today if not for Yelena- who was barely recovered herself- telling her to go to the forest to center herself and be with the spirits.

And in all reality, she needed the break. She wasn’t feeling her best, worn down both physically and mentally. While the healers were able to rotate in and out, Elsa was the only one able to make snow on command. Her control was far better than when she was younger, but using her magic for an extended time like this exhausted her. It was her magic that was making her feel poorly, not possibly succumbing to the illness around her. Atohallan would allow her to recharge. She would feel better then.

She was just thankful that Honeymaren and Ryder were feeling better. The twin siblings had been hit with the illness early, knocking them both of their feet and out of the fields for four days, When Elsa wasn’t making packs for others, she was in their hut, icy hands resting on their foreheads.  Her girlfriend had been particularly clingy, choosing to stay snuggled against Elsa at every opportunity; Elsa was more than willing to indulge her.

Gale brushed by her back as she and Bruni rode Nokk, and she couldn’t help but shiver. “Hi there,” she smiled, trying to suppress the cold. “Coming along today?”

Gale messed with her braid, their own personal greeting.

“I think we’re just going to meditate today.” Since living with the Northuldra, Elsa was learning the art of meditation. She found it not only helped keep her in touch with nature and her powers, but also her worries and fears as well. It was the perfect way to recharge herself.

Soon enough, they arrived at Atohallan. Elsa bowed as Nokk drifted back into the water and headed into the icy chamber.

Elsa settled herself into her usual nook and began to breathe deeply. As she breathed, she became keenly aware of how wrong her body felt. Her muscles felt sore and heavy. Her chest was tight and throat ached. Her head pounded.

Hi-tchoo!

A sneeze ripped through her body, making her feel even more exhausted. Flurries fell to the ground around her. She sighed. At least it wasn’t Snowgies. Though she had only made them once, any time she sneezed, the fear of creating them was still there.

Bruni perked his head up at Elsa. He looked worried.

“I’m okay,” she said sniffling. “Just a sneeze.”

He looked at her incredulously. His doubt was not unfounded when she sneezed again. Taking matters into his own hands, Bruni crawled up Elsa’s arm and settled on the back of her neck, warming her.

“Why thank you.” As much as she wanted to deny it, Bruni’s warmth felt amazing against her body.  Maybe she was getting sick. It wouldn’t surprise her given everything, but she wasn’t ready to admit it just yet.

Meditation was difficult today. Focusing on inner strength when she felt so weak was almost impossible. Even the task of breathing deep was difficult as her lungs expelled the air as fast as she could breathe it in. After a frustrating half hour, Elsa moved from her seated position to lying down, finding some comfort and relief in it. The ice felt nice on her back, even if it made her shiver. She was just going to rest her eyes for a minute…

Famous last words.

Her sleep was fitful and uncomfortable. Nightmares of the past tormented her. Memories of her long years in isolation. Thoughts of what her grandfather would say to her. Fears of hurting Anna again. She tossed and turned, only making her body ache more.

When Elsa woke, it was dark out. And she wasn’t in Atohallan? How did she get here?

“You’re awake,” a familiar voice said. Her eyes slowly opened to see Honeymaren at her side, a cool hand on her forehead. “You have a fever.”

“How did I get here?” Her voice was raspy and sore, far worse than it had been earlier. She tried to sit up, but she was so weak that when Honeymaren placed a hand on her shoulder she was laying right back down.

“Nokk,” she said simply. “He carried you home and ran for me.” Honeymaren pressed a cool cloth to her head. “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were feeling sick?”

Elsa shook her head, eyes shut tight. “Didn’t want to worry anyone. I’m a spirit. ‘M not supposed to get sick.”

“You may be a spirit, but you’re still human. It’s okay not to be perfect.” Honeymaren sighed, kissing her hot forehead. “But what’s not okay is running away to Atohallan when you’re burning up with a fever.”

“‘M sorry,” she rasped, ashamed of herself. Coughs overtook her tight chest. “I didn’t mean to be bad.”

Honeymaren looked like she was about to cry, but she gained her composure enough and continued to stroke at her face. “You aren’t bad. You just need to take better care of yourself. And what that means for now,” she pulled the fur covers up to Elsa’s neck, “is sleeping and getting better.”

Elsa nodded, allowing herself to snuggle in. “Can I have the scarf?” she asked sheepishly, almost like a child asking for their blanket.

Honeymaren smiled and put her scarf around her. The scarf they had made together; the one that represented their family. “Nice and warm and cozy.” She kissed her head once more before getting under the covers.  “Now get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Elsa curled up, her head laying on Honeymaren’s side, and soaked in the warmth and comfort of her girlfriend. She was home. She was safe. It was okay to let that guard down.

“Thank you.”