#eloise comes in clutch accidentally

[tubbytarchia]

j

IM LATE i was out with a friend... forgive me jimmy solidaritygaming....

SOMEONE STOLE A DISC FROM THE DISC WALL...... jimmys guess is eloise (apparently he knows exactly what disc is missing???)

he goes to get the disc but comes across martyn. whos building a one piece base? idk anything about one piece but its like... a white boat with a fish head on it.

THEYRE FIGHTING THE DRAGON TODAY!!! just jim and martyn. martyn gives jimmy some slow fall potions and they head off.... martyns already found the stronghold (but not looted it) so they know where theyre going.

jimmy does a water clutch off the disc and he. lands on top of some tall grass?? insane clutch

martyn collects some flowers and jimmys like "dude its crazy that youre collecting items like youre coming back" TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR martyn also doesnt fire back which is a little odd.... maybe he is nervous about dying

for some reason theyre travelling at night. theres so many skeletons.

they start talking about tiktok and. i really don't know what's going on here.

they talk about if they die what'll happen and they say they can have each others stuff which is cute i think.

they arrive!!! its quite far down its like... y-10. and its all split up by a dripstone cave which makes it look really cool but also hard to navigate.

they explore a bit and jimmy breaks a lot of blocks and it stresses me out. JIMMY NO!!!! THE SILVERFISH!!!! they get some good books some armour trims but nothing crazy.

they get lost trying to get back. martyn keeps pretending he knows where hes going and its really funny.

they get back to the portal and go through and theres a SILVERFISH ON THE OTHER SIDE

new effect when u blow up the end crystals.? but its only on jimmys screen and only the first one he did. looks cool though theres probably some lore reason we can make up

JIMMY GETS THE KILL!!!!! martyn ran out of arrows JUST before. he gets immediate payback by somehow managing to pick up every single xp orb. im not exaggerating jimmy picked up One (from 8 to 8) and martyn is level 68. for some reason the xp dropped as just a singular large orb.?.??? martyn apologises and offers to enchant jimmys stuff :') its cute....

they head back and jimmy puts the egg on his bookshelf. he says this base is one of his favourites that hes done in a while!!!

jimmy and martyn meet back up and jimmy shows him the disc wall. martyns reaction is really funny "oh we love a waterfall entrance-OH MY GOD" martyn is largely unbothered by jimmy stealing his stuff.

they go over to eloises base together. eloises base floor is a pattern involving chiseled bookshelves. martyn accidentally breaks one and is confused when it doesnt drop. they proceed to break like 5 before realising they dont drop. they then joke about her hiding her disc under all the shelves so they break all of them. they arent expensive to craft or anything but... why......

jimmy goes off topic and asks martyn his thoughts on shepherd's pie. when martyn says hes not a big fan jimmy goes dead silent. he puts on his radio voice and goes "thats the day they stopped being friends. its crazy a little thing like that broke the love/law" (I CANT TELL WHICH ONE HE SAID. I THINK? LOVE. 1:03:50 SOMEONE HELP ME.)

there's a wandering trader and martyns like i cant even repeat what hes selling. and jimmys like whats he selling?? so martyns like "hes selling crack cocaine. cant believe it." i think this is the closest ive seen to genuine bewilderment on jimmys face. he goes through like 5 expressions in a second. he then checks the trades to prove to his chat that hes not selling it???? strangest bit of the stream but its funny

martyn comes over to jimmys base to enchant for him and jimmy gives him everything (all armour + sword and pick) at once and its a big display of trust.... i love them a lot

martyn doesnt like mess around and he does properly enchant all of jimmys stuff. its all very sweet to me then jimmy decides to say "bring it home papa" and. Okay

they split up (jim offers to stay with martyn but martyn sends him off since hes worried that he himself will not make good company while building) and jim goes to fish for a nametag again.

there may or may not be a stream break soon since he was talking about how he really didnt feel like streaming today and offhandedly said he needs a bit of a rest ^_^

new roblox video tomorrow and some next week too. with katherine!

HE GOT HIS NAMETAG!!!!! he forgot what he had planned to name it but he ends up naming him HONK

stream ends shorter than usual wooooooooo

Oh my goodddd the property police.... "it's crazy that you're collecting items like you're coming back" so uncalled for?? Why did he say this... Is he expecting Martyn not to come back... Because he fears that Martyn would die or that Martyn would just choose not to... Oh the Evo demons are getting me. Them saying the other can have their stuff if one dies and Martyn pretending to know his way is such property police banter mannnn. Offering to enchant stuff for him and not being bothered by Jimmy stealing from him... The exaggerated break up joke...

Something especially about Jimmy taking off all of his gear at once for Martyn to enchant. Big display of trust as you said... the maid demons are getting me now. And Martyn not fooling around here nor in any of the earlier instances to any notable degree?? Feels odd... I feel like he would at least a little... Something melancholy to me about the fact that he didn't. Sweet but melancholy. Banter between these two has usually gone both ways in the past to at least some degree (Not just Jimmy being picked on). I would scoff at the papa comment but. I can't, papa is too cutesy lol I'll let Jimmy get away with that one. The split up feels weirdly melancholic too even just from reading about it. Mmgh something about all the property police stuff this time around is making me feel so many vaguely sad emotions :( Feels so nostalgic too though... I really need to watch this part of the stream sometime. Especially cause these two are funny together. Finally jokes that I can chuckle at that aren't just "lol sex!!"

At least he finally got the nametag.... Honk...

[leviathanspain]

🐈‍⬛ hiii! what do you think of benedict bridgerton x reader, where reader is daphne’s long time friend who’s always been close with the family and has always had a crush on benedict, she doesn’t make it obvious but even he knows and before her big debut she overhears him talking with his brothers about her and how he’d never marry her because he’d never have feelings for you even though you have feelings for him, reader quickly moves on because why would she care about what a man thinks right? so obviously she has to go to the balls looking real good and dance with lots of guys making him jealous (perk but not the goal) and he eventually realizes his feelings and makes it all up to her after finding out she heard what he said

like someone in love

benedict bridgerton x reader

synopsis: you’ve come to terms with the fact that he would never see you romantically, and so you have to find a way to move on

you audibly gasped, hand clutching at your corset, that your lady’s maid was strapping to your body. she looked over your shoulder and you shook your head, “i am fine, tighter!” you shrieked shrilly, feeling the air constrict in your lungs.

you heard the quick ties of the ribbon and inhaled slowly, “i have to look perfect for tea with daphne.” you admired yourself in the mirror, “if i happen to run into mr. bridgerton, i want to look perfect.” you held your head high, watching your hair fall back loosely, “use the blue ribbon, will you?”

“of course, my lady.” anne, your lady’s maid, always had a small smile on her face whenever she helped you with your visits to the bridgerton household; ever since you became taken with the middle brother, benedict.

you tried to be modest with your attraction, especially since he was daphne’s older brother, and she was your dearest friend. but sometimes, you felt as if the entire ton could see right through you.

“this is the last he’ll see of me before i’m game to the rest of london.” you rolled your eyes, “with whatever my mother has planned- i can only expect a surprise.” your mother, constance, had wonderful success in marrying off your three older sisters, to members of high european society.

“i don’t want her to choose my husband, i know who he is,” you inhaled again, “he just has to choose me.” you smoothed down your skirt, and walked over to your vanity, anne following quickly behind.

“oh, y/n!” daphne still felt like a girl whenever you appeared in her doorway. the drawing room had been empty except for her, looking beautiful as ever.

you looked around before greeting her back, smiling brightly as you sat across from her, “where is everyone?” you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that benedict wasn’t sketching away by the window.

daphne exhaled, “mama took everyone out for promenade. i’m rather nervous about tomorrow, and well,” she shrugged, smiling.

you nodded, “i most definitely am nervous. a pit in my stomach.” you admitted, “i understand, daph. that is why when i received your invite for tea, i knew i had to come.”

daphne’s attention shifted to the bustling bodies that were shoving each other through the drawing room doorway. it was all her brothers, with eloise.

eloise smiled at you, and moved over to the seat beside her sister. benedict, colin and anthony all greeted you politely, indulging in small conversation with daphne before excusing themselves to the study.

as they left, you couldn’t help but let your eyes hang on benedict, not bothering to hide your feelings. daphne smiled, “y/n, i do hope my brother marries you, you’d be my sister.” you blushed, laughing off her comment as eloise raised her eyebrows.

your tea with daphne had turned into a private dinner, and it had gotten late. “this was lovely, daph.” you had stopped on your walk by the study with daphne, “i’ll see you tomorrow, be perfect.” you wished her luck, and waved her off as she dashed back up the stairs.

the bridgerton house grew quiet as you took your time exiting. you had hoped you’d accidentally bump into benedict on your way out, but as you passed the last room, you lost hope.

“no!” you heard some shouting, a rancorous laughter followed and you paused by the wall of the last room. it was the three brothers, indulging in conversation. “i would never marry y/n. she’s-“ you heart dropped just as the voice paused, “there’s nothing there. no.” he, benedict, how could you not recognize that voice, had unknowingly shattered your heart with muffled conversation.

you inhaled sharply, and dashed out of the home, walking fast to your carriage as your tears threatened to fall.

your father had been a great man. your mother loved him passionately that even she cried when he died. you cried, but you were a child who knew her father fleetingly. your mother made you promise on his grave that no man would ever make you hurt like this again.

benedict breaking your heart was no different, and you knew you couldn’t dwell. your mother would not let you, you would not let yourself cry for him anymore.

the debut had been the easy part, the hard part was standing out. your first ball and already you couldn’t qualm your nerves. you knew that daphne and her entire family would be attending, you would have to see benedict, have to see him knowing what he said.

your mother had revealed to you that there was a duke and a prince in the waters, and you had to reach for the highest of stars.

your dance card had been filled to the brim, not even an hour had passed before there was a line of eligible suitors waiting for a dance. you were speechless, never did you think you’d get a reaction like that. not when there was daphne in the same pool of ladies.

everyone but the man you wanted had lined up for a dance, even his brother colin, but it was friendly more than anything.

benedict watched you carefully, smiling politely as you and colin danced. you indulged his ramblings about his wishes to travel, your father had been quite the explorer before settling down, so you were as worldly as he had been.

benedict tugged at his collar. seeing his brother with you had left him feeling odd, upset.

“ben, are you okay?” anthony had surprised his brother, and benedict nodded, “ye-yes. i just need a breath.” he spotted the nearest double doors, leading off to a balcony of some sort, he rushed away, his hand clutching into a fist nervously.

his skin felt hot, and he exhaled a breath. you had an affect on him that he had tried to ignore for months now.

when he was confronted about it by his brothers, he denied it fiercely, you were young, beautiful and wildly too good for him. not with your sisters’ husbands being who they were, benedict knew your mother wouldn’t even consider him as a thought.

but he couldn’t ignore the rage he felt at colin, watching his hands on your body, guiding you as you danced.

he knew you had an affection for him, he could see it in your eyes, but you didn’t know him, you couldn’t see why he was the wrong man for you. anthony had claimed that look in your eyes was of someone in love. he encouraged his brother, but benedict grew more reserved about his decision.

you wanted him to see. five balls of trying to capture a glance from benedict bridgerton, and five balls of failure. you had danced with nearly all of the eligible men, many handsome and as rich as you could imagine, but none left you with desire.

benedict was slowly becoming nothing but a dream, an unfulfilled desire that only kept you up at night.

on the night of the last ball of the season, you knew you had to get benedict alone. you had grown restless through the season, upset and frustrated. this was your last chance, because your mother refused to have her daughter end her first season unmarried.

you would be someone’s wife soon, and you had to be his.

benedict needed this. the drag of the smuggled cigarette in his lungs, the exhaling into the pitch black sky. knowing you were inside, dancing your way into someone else’s arms.

he refused to watch it happen, and he refused to admit how much he hated all of the men of the ton. he loathed every single one for having danced with you.

“mr. bridgerton.” he had only heard you address him a few times. not in a long while, and he had made sure of that.

he turned, shocked to see you standing behind him. you were wearing a baby blue dress, cheeks flushed. “miss heathfield.” he seemed breathless, and he dropped the cigarette that had been between his fingers, brushing his hand on his coat, holding it behind his back.

“it is chilly out here, perhaps you would be more comfortable inside?” no one else was outside, and it was inappropriate for you to be out here with him, alone.

you didn’t move, “benedict,” you spoke informally and sighed, “i will be someone’s wife before the month ends, and i just want to know.” he blinked, “why do you not want me to be yours?” you exhaled, feeling a relief off your chest.

benedict watched as you walked closer to him, “i have wished for that since the beginning of the season, y/n.” he looked at you, “you are beautiful, talented, wondrous and intriguing woman, and i absolutely do not deserve you.” his lips went tight, “i’ve seen your sisters’ husbands. they’re dukes and earls, i’m not even the viscount.” he whispered, “you deserve to be loved like a queen, a princess, anything but a mrs.”

you grew emotional, tears brimmed in your eyes and you stomped, “stop it this instance, benedict bridgerton!” you were now face to face with him, you could smell the cigarette smoke more clearly now, “i can see you feel strongly about me, and i want nothing more in this moment than for you to kiss me.”

benedict looked at you, glancing at the parted doorway, light and laughter floated down to his ears before he rushed in to kiss you.

your knees went weak at the kiss, and he gripped you, holding you against him. he pulled away, panting, “i-“ he was utterly speechless.

“i know.” you whispered, knowing the look in his eyes all too well.

[thereadersmuse]

When it came to Colin, she was glutenous to a fault.

* Part two of the “Finer Art” Series.

* FF.NET link to come.

[writers-hes]

HC for all the Bridgerton Bros, after the scene where El asks how women get pregnant you are like a friend of Daphnes and you ask them (the bros individually) and I just wonder how they would react/explain that?

Have You Ever Been to a Farm? (ABC Brothers)

Second entry for my Bridgerton Ball helpful links: navigation | master lists | rules and guidelines | tag list | fic recs CONTEXT: You were spending the afternoon with all the Bridgertons when Eloise barged in from spending an afternoon with Penelope with the question, "How does a lady come to be with child?"

Daphne stopped playing the pianoforte and you looked up from the book that you were reading. Being acquainted with Daphne for the social season and because your mother was a close friend of the Bridgerton matriarch, you grew to be comfortable in their household. Violet was startled at the question while Anthony, Benedict, and Colin were preventing themselves from laughing. The commotion happened but the question still remains unsolved—how does a lady come to be with child? You had no brothers or sisters to ask and your mother reprimanded you for such a tactless question.

Anthony Bridgerton:

I think you would ask Anthony hesitantly

Like you were in the park, having afternoon tea and while he moodily broods over the fact that he could not spend his time the way he wanted, you were walking up to him with intent written on your face

He would taise his eyebrows in anticipation while you blush

“Anthony, how does a lady come to be with child?”

He would pause.

A long pause because he could not believe that someone as you would ask him directly.

“Anthony?”

He would nod and straighten his back.

How the hell is he going to answer this without sounding like a rake?

You were like a sister to him and naturally, he was protective of you

“What do you need this information for?” he would ask.

Was it him or was the temperature suddenly hot?

“Well, I’d like to know. I am a debutante after all,” you would reply.

“Very well,” he would reply. “When a man and a woman love each other they engage in…an ardent embrace,”

“A hug?” you asked. “I don’t think—“

“An ardent one,” he stressed. “Hugs that happen at night without anybody knowing,”

“Oh,” you replied. “Does that mean that if I hug Benedict or Colin with everyone knowing, I won’t have a child?”

“What?” he would ask. “Why shall you hug him?”

“I don’t know,” you lied. “I just do not understand,”

“You cannot engage in an ardent embrace during the daylight or with anyone around,” he added. “And do not bring my brothers into this. They are despicable,”

“But Anthony, I do not get it—“

“I do not wish to speak on it any further, I hope you grant me of my request,” he interrupted, looking straight ahead. He was watching Daphne and Simon like a hawk.

“Anthony, please answer—“

“Grant my wish,” he said sternly.

You frowned. But much to your chagrin, you yielded before walking off.

Anthony gave himself a pat on the back, proud to have controlled the conversation of reproduction to you.

Surely, he did a good job.

Or so he thought.

Benedict Bridgerton

I think that the fact that you have a slight crush on Benedict would put you in quite an embarrassment.

The truth was, after the debacle with Anthony, you and Eloise still wondered about the logistics of child-bearing.

It wasn’t like you could ask your suitors—for they might get the wrong impression. So, you went to Benedict next.

It was during a ball which both your mamas required you to attend.

You were dancing. Benedict wanted to escape the clutches of the Featheringtons and you wanted to escape the forceful persuasion of Nigel Berbrooke.

“Benedict?”

“What is it?”

“How does a lady come to be with child?”

Now, Benedict knew that he wasn’t a graceful dancer but he took lessons to be graceful enough for others not to notice.

But your question caught him off guard and so, he accidentally stepped on your toes.

“Ow!” you exclaimed while Benedict was trying to cover his flustered composure.

“Are you alright?”

“No, you just stepped on my foot!”

“I’m sorry, you caught me off guard,” he apologised straightening himself. You regained your composure too.

You both laughed.

“What do you need the information for?” Benedict asked.

“Well, one of the maids that I know got got pregnant out of marriage. Anthony says that there must be a secret, nightly, ardent embrace for it to happen but I do not trust his words,”

“He is partially correct,” Benedict noted. “Although, it can happen in the daytime too…or could be known by everyone,”

“Is it true that love is required?”

“It would be great if love was the foundation but sometimes, it’s not the case entirely,”

You frowned.

Being a woman, you are not told of the workings of whatever they speak of. You were highly ignorant of any and all information pertaining to the human body.

“So, I don’t have to be in love with a man for me to bear children with him as long as I engage in this embrace whenever I may please?”

“That’s partially correct,” Benedict replied.

You nodded and the dance came to an end.

“I think that your mama would be a better informant than me,” Benedict said. “Why don’t you ask her?”

“She scolded me for asking such a perverse question,” you replied. “But thank you for your response,”

Benedict nodded hesitantly and watched as a suitor asked for your hand.

Unlike Anthony, he was sure that he did not give you the correct information at all. Sure, he was an artist but how can he explain things without sounding crude?

Benedict nodded to himself, convincing himself that he did an okay job.

He did not.

Colin Bridgerton

You felt quite stupid for not asking Colin any sooner.

You grew up teasing each other and were practically attached to the hip along with Daphne.

But you didn’t want to bother him especially with his pining for Marina. He was too busy ogling at her to even attend to his personal duties.

Still, you dared yourself to go up to him during an afternoon promenade with your family.

“Colin, remember Eloise’s question?” you asked him. You were out of earshot and were walking quite slowly behind the group.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“How does a lady come to be with child and what does the farm have to do with it?” you asked.

Colin laughed. Like, a boisterous laugh.

“It’s not a question that I have expected from you but I shall answer it nonetheless.”

So, Colin, went into detail

Like, when I say detail, it is detailed

He would go on the specifics of becoming with child

Without making it flirtatious, of course but you would blush at the crassness of his language

He would laugh when he saw you shy away from the words ‘heat’, ‘cock’, and other crude words pertaining to sex

“So, you don’t have to be married?”

“You don’t. You just have to be smart,”

“What does intelligence have to do with it?”

“Let’s just say that if I was not smart with it, you see have several little Colins running around the Bridgerton home,”

“Colin!” you gasped, slapping his arm.

“It is the truth,” he replied. “Women who bear children out of wedlock are sadly more affected than men.”

“Oh,” you nodded. “Would you have accepted the child if you were in a man’s position?”

“I don’t know yet but perhaps, yes. The child has no mistake, why must I be cruel towards it?”

“You’re right,” you replied.

“Why have you been curious about this matter?”

“I am a debutante ignorant of the workings of passion…” you replied before whispering that somehow, Eloise let it slip that one of the maids you knew were secretly with-child.

“Juicy gossip!” Colin exclaimed, his eyes eager to know more.

“I don’t know anything else beyond that but that’s what I heard.”

“Well, I’m glad you talked to me about it. What did Anthony and Benedict say when you asked them?”

“Anthony said that it was a secretive, nightly embrace that requires love. Benedict rejected some of Anthony’s words and stepped on me during a dance,”

Colin chuckled.

“Well it’s not everyday that an innocent debutant from a prolific family like you would ask about that,” he would say.

You nodded and continued to stroll, wishing that Colin would never have to experience the misfortunes that he spoke of.

TAGLIST:

@screechingdreamercollectorsblog @pink-lemo @lana-isabelle @evelyn3000 @simran1111 @marrilly @jemimah-b99 @goldeng1rl8 @lovely-him @wreckedsymphony @silvermistt

[silverhallow]

Imagine Benedict, Sophie, Eloise, and Philip all have weekly tea times and one of the servants accidentally swap teas and Benedict gets high again. He won’t stop crying and clinging onto Sophie, asking her not to ever leave him again. Eloise looks at Philip who sniffs the tea and tells her it’s from the greenhouse and the same one that gets you high. Much to her dismay.

Ohhhhhh sweet sweet innocent Lily... not realising that there was a tea in there that Mr Colin Bridgerton had brought back from his trip to Cyprus and that her Master didn't touch it because he gets giddy and then just breaks down in sobs.

Phillip glances over at Benedict wondering why he has seemingly lost his mind and sniffs his tea. Sophie who was 7 months pregnant hadn't touched her tea yet as she and Eloise had been tending to the boys and the twins, and was about to lift her tea to her mouth to sip it when he shouts at her not to.

Eloise looks bemused as she looks at her husband who sticks on finger in his tea and drops a drop on his tea "this is a hallucinogenic herb"

Benedict's pupils' dialate and he bursts into fits of giggles as Eloise groans "here we go again..."

Sophie puts the tea down and sends the next two hours dealing with her husband giggling, clutching to her and then crying about how he would be nothing without her...

Eloise found it very amusing, until he started explaining in detail what he wanted to do to Sophie when she wasn't so round with child

Phillip found it highly informative with the properties of the tea and asked Sophie if he could take what was left back to Romney Hall to study and perhaps find something to help.

Sophie however decided next time she saw Colin, she was going to murder him because honestly, Benedict on the come down was worse than 3 children who were all sick and covered in the pox.

[falcon-eye]

Felt like I was neglecting Hamra a little bit, so this one is about him! Sorry Veko and Eloise will be back soon, I promise. Another part of my OC story from @inexplicifics Accidental Warlord AU! This one also got away from me. I started writing this literally not knowing where it was going and it just kinda ran wild. Potential trigger warnings for panic attacks, talk of past trauma (but no details yet, only allusions), and Hamra’s horrible self-image. I’ve also given up on italics cuz I’ve been writing all this on my phone and it’s been a nightmare to format lol Enjoy!

Tag list! Let me know if you want to be added! @ainawgsd @rocknrollphanda

—————————

Sonja and Fritz weren’t the only people to come look after the baby, but they were the only ones who knew Hamra was in the rafters and so they greeted him every time they came by. Strangely, it made Hamra feel good even though he came to this room to get away from everyone. They would peer up at him, wave or say hi occasionally, take care of the baby, and then say goodbye on their way out. After a while, Hamra stopped holding his breath every time he heard the door open.

The hole he had chipped in the wall for him to crawl through straight onto “his” rafters was big enough now that he didn’t dislodge bits of rock when he slunk through. Apparently, the baby’s mother had been concerned that the room was falling apart, but either Sonja or Fritz had assured her that everything was alright. Hamra hadn’t met the baby’s mother yet, and though he’d never admit it, he almost didn’t ever want to. Sonja and Fritz letting him stick around was one thing; the baby’s mother had every right to scream and kick him out. He supposed be could find another room, but with servants and apparently more nobles occasionally flocking to Kaer Morhen, the number of quiet, secluded rooms was dwindling. And though he knew about Camp Sulk, it felt uncomfortable to seek refuge in a place so many others used; the mixed smells and leftover emotions alone made Hamra’s skin crawl.

Not everyone who came to take care of the baby came in pairs, but Sonja and Fritz always came together. So it was odd when one day only Sonja showed, giving Hamra a little wave before tending to the child. Hamra waited for Fritz to enter but... nothing. It wasn’t like not having both of them was wrong, per say, but Hamra liked patterns; he liked having some kind of “normalcy” in his life, however form that took.

“Where’s—“ Hamra started, and Sonja gasped, clutching the baby to her chest. She looked up at Hamra and laughed awkwardly.

“Whew!” she said. “Oh, Master Witcher, you startled me! I almost forgot what your voice sounded like!”

Hamra slowly crept down from his perch. “Sorry,” he said softly. There was a few moments’ silence, Sonja watching Hamra, Hamra watching the ground, the baby babbling softly as he sucked his own fist.

“Did you... need something?” Sonja asked.

All the courage Hamra had was gone. He didn’t mean to scare her. Sonja ducked her head to meet Hamra’s eyes and blinked up at him expectantly.

“Wh-where...” Hamra began, but his voice failed him. He wrung his hands together, looked over at the door, pointed at Sonja, and then the empty space next to her.

“Oh!” Sonja exclaimed, and Hamra was just able to contain a flinch at the sudden sound. “Fritz! Fritz is... helping Miss Heddy today.” At Hamra’s blank look, she added, “Olek’s mother?”

Olek, Olek, Olek, where had he heard that name? Fuck, he was bad at names. He was bad at people. He was bad at a lot of things: talking, thinking, signs—Hamra hunched his shoulders around his ears as his mind went on a tangent.

Sonja apparently noticed Hamra’s discomfort. “Ah, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you,” she said, “since Fritz and I are the only ones who know you’re here.” Sonja adjusted the baby on her hip and took his little hand in hers. “This is Olek!”

Oh. Yeah. That would make sense. The baby—Olek cooed and wrapped his hand around Sonja’s finger. Hamra, not knowing what else to do, nodded.

“You haven’t met Miss Heddy yet, have you?” Sonja asked.

Hamra heard the rush of blood in his ears. His eyes went wide and he met Sonja’s gaze. Oh gods, was she going to tell the mother he was there?

Sonja took a step back at his panic and held out a hand. “I-it’s ok!” she said, now a little startled herself. “I was just curious!” Sonja settled Olek back into his crib. “She’s a really nice lady,” she continued, still facing the crib. Hamra was greatful; having someone’s full attention on him was hard. “She brought Fritz and I here. We were... well, we were in a bad way when she found us. Miss Heddy used to be a merchant. Or, she still is, occasionally. She’s been down in Wolvenburg for the past little while, so that’s why she hasn’t been here with the little one, here.”

Hamra nodded despite the fact that Sonja was facing away from him. The fact that she wasn’t looking at him emboldened him, a little. “You... won’t tell her I’m here?” he asked softly.

Sonja made a move to turn around, but then thought better of it. She put both hands on the side of Olek’s crib and stared at the wall. “I won’t,” she assured, “but... why? I-if you don’t mind me asking!”

If he didn’t mind? He was the intruder here. “I-I want...” he swallowed thickly, picking at the skin of his palm. “To stay... here.”

This time, Sonja did turn around. “Why wouldn’t you?” Hamra didn’t answer, staring down at the floor, but he heard Sonja sigh softly. “If I can be honest, Master Witcher, I think she’d love to know that her baby is being looked after by someone so capable.”

Hamra met her gaze again. Capable? That wasn’t something Hamra had ever been called before, except by maybe Veko. But Veko was his brother, his twin. It would look bad if Veko openly considered his own flesh and blood to be mess that he was.

“You don’t think so?” Sonja asked. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, then suddenly spun around to pick Olek back up. “Here, would you like to hold him?”

Hamra’s slow heartbeat raced to a speed he wasn’t aware it could get to anymore. The baby reached out for him and Hamra surged backwards til he hit the wall. Sonja’s face fell. Fuck, he didn’t mean to make her upset! He just couldn’t... How could he hold a baby? How could he hold something so precious? All he did was destroy; all he did was hurt. Even Veko, the only person in the world to care for him despite everything he was, had been burned and scarred by Hamra’s destruction.

Hamra didn’t realize Sonja was calling him for a few moments. When he came back to himself, breath haggard, he found himself on the floor, curled with his knees to his chest. Sonja was kneeling a few feet away. Hamra sniffed, smelling before seeing with horror that Sonja was crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she was saying, hands held up. “Master Witcher, I’m sorry, so sorry, are you alright?”

Hamra swallowed hard and slammed his hand onto the stone floor a lot harder than he meant to. Sonja flinched, but didn’t flee or move forward. Hamra scraped his hand along the stone, catching tiny bits of gravel and dirt in the lines of his palm, forward and back, forward and back, as the rest of the room came into focus. Olek was in his crib, making distressed noises.

“M-master Witcher?” Sonja said softly. Hamra sniffed again and nodded, staring at a point on the floor between them. “M-may I...?”

What was she asking? May she what? May she leave? She was a nice girl, probably trying to be polite to this fucking wreck of a Witcher—wreck of a grown man, even! But when he nodded, all she did was slide forward on her knees a few feet until she was directly in front of him.

It wasn’t until she reached out and towards him that he realized he was making a soft keening noise, because as soon as she touched his knee, he stopped. Sonja searched his eyes, and what she was looking for he had no idea.

“I’m sorry,” Sonja whispered. “I-I didn’t mean to upset you, Master Witcher. It’s ok. You don’t need to hold the baby if you don’t want to.”

Sonja gently brushed her thumb over Hamra’s knee and all of his attention focused on the feel of her hand on him. Why was she touching him? Didn’t she know what he could’ve done just then? What happened when Cats lose time like that? What happened to the people around them?

He must’ve made a noise or a face or something, because Sonja’s hand slid off of his knee. “O-ok,” she said softly, holding her hands up again for him to see. After a moment, she slowly lowered them to clasp together her lap. Mercifully, she also broke their eye contact. “I-I didn’t mean to... W-well, um...” A few tears dropped onto her skirt and she wiped her eyes hastily. He’d made her cry. She was nice to him, said hi and bye to him, and he made her cry!

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, the words sounding almost punched out of him.

“N-no, it’s not your fault!” Sonja said, waving her hands. “I-I didn’t know that would set spark.”

Set... What?

Again, Hamra must’ve made a face, because Sonja hurried to continue. “I-It’s something Miss Heddy says,” she explained. “She says some people call it different things but it’s like... when you’re trying to start a fire, a single spark is sometimes all it takes. And even though it’s so small, it can build and build until the fire is so large.” Sonja fumbled with the hem of her skirt and swallowed. “Some people, some things they hear or see or—or sometimes even smell, it... sets spark. Fritz and I... we were in a bad place, before the White Wolf came to power. And sometimes... sometimes I still... spark. Over small things. And I—I lose myself. B-but it’s ok! It happens to a lot of people. Especially people who have seen a lot of bad things in their lives.”

Hamra was enraptured; he thought this was only a thing that happened because of his mutations and his fucked up head. The idea that others experienced even something similar to what he had—it was almost overwhelming. And the idea that it happened to Sonja... made Hamra incredibly sad. She was so nice; she shouldn’t have to experience that.

Sonja nodded to herself and met Hamra’s eyes again. “I don’t always, um,” she bit her lip again, searching for the words. “I don’t always lose my breath, like that. I... cry. And I get quiet. I-I know I talk a lot, and I ramble, but... but when something sets spark, I go quiet. Because I was... never supposed to speak, before. They didn’t like it. And when something sparks, it’s like I’m back there again and I need to be quiet. Or something bad will happen. A-and I know the people around me aren’t them, but it’s like a part of my mind can’t tell the difference.”

Hamra wanted to destroy any and everything that ever made Sonja feel that way. For a moment, he almost became consumed by the anger at the mere thought. He started breathing heavier, but tried so hard to calm down. No, this wasn’t helping. He was just going to make it worse.

Hamra slammed his head back against the wall and Sonja yelped. “N-no! Don’t do that!” she exclaimed. “Please, don’t do that, I’m sorry Master Witcher!”

Admittedly, it hadn’t been a great idea, but the pain in Hamra’s head made his anger fade. He cupped the back of his head in one and and curled forward with a groan. He heard the rustling of fabric and very gently, Sonja’s hand came to rest on the back of his.

Hamra looked up at her as she was wiping her eyes again. “That’s another thing some people do,” she said. “H-hurt themselves. Please, Master Witcher, don’t do that.”

“H-hamra,” Hamra said softly.

“Master Hamra,” Sonja said, nodding.

Hamra shook his head. “Just... just Hamra.”

Sonja smiled, and fuck if it wasn’t beautiful. Behind them, Olek let out a loud whine and Hamra winced. Sonja stood and went to the crib; Hamra stood as she did so. Fuck, he felt like he’d just been hit by... well, every Witcher in the keep. And a wyvern.

Sonja settled Olek down and when she turned, Hamra was already back in the rafters. She smiled gently at him and nodded. He nodded back and waved. Why did he wave?

“If, um,” Sonja cleared her throat. “If you ever need—or want—to... to talk. I’m, um. I’ll—I’ll listen. Or if you just need someone to—to be there—“ She was blushing, and Hamra could hear her rapid heartbeat. “I can...” Sonja gathered the supplies she’d brought for Olek and took a deep breath. “I, um, I need to be going now. Think about it, maybe?”

As Sonja opened the door, something akin to courage came over Hamra. “Goodbye, Sonja,” he said.

Sonja smiled up at him softly. “Good day, Hamra.”

[auskultu]

HOUSE-TO-HOUSE SEARCH FOR SNIPERS BEGUN AS RIOT ENTERS 6TH DAY

Homer Bigart, The New York Times, 17 July 1967

NEWARK – National Guard troops and the police hunted house to house for snipers today after gunfire claimed three more lives in this riot-torn city.

Nearly half of Newark’s 23.7 square miles was an occupied zone. As sporadic sniping continued, guardsmen and policemen—weary and trigger-quick after days and nights of tension—were reported to have engaged each other in several accidental gunfights.

The actions of the guardsmen and the state police drew angry protests yesterday from moderate leaders of the Negro community. They accused the militia and the police of harassing peacemakers and of destroying Negro-owned stores.

12-Year-Old Boy Killed The latest riot victim was a 12-year-old Negro boy, Michael Pugh, who was shot in the side early this morning. He died in Newark City Hospital.

Witnesses said he was emptying a pail of garbage in front on his home on 15th Avenue. His family said the shot had come from a group of guardsmen standing a block away.

The boy’s death raised the toll in the six days of rioting to 24 dead. Early last night, Mrs. Eloise Spellman, 41, died of gunshot wounds. She had been caught in crossfire between guardsmen and snipers while in her 1Oth-floor apartment at 322 Hunterdon Avenue.

Earlier, a teen-age Negro was shot in the chest by the state police while allegedly looting a store at Bergen Street and Custer Avenye.

Since the riots began, more than 700 have been injured am more than 1,200 arrested.

The police radio kept warning: "Be sure of target. HoId fire until you are sure of target.”

A state trooper, CpI. Samuel Leon, was shot twice, in an arm and the buttocks, and ws: taken to Newark City Hospital That hospital game under sniper fire for the third straight night. Doctors and nurses dropped to the floor during 10 minutes of sniping that started at 9:30 P.M.

The police began shooting from hallway windows and guardsmen threw tear gas into an abandoned three-story house near the hospital, but failed tc rout any suspects. Two guardsmen were overcome by tear gas.

Gov. Richard J. Hughes reported late yesterday that there had been a reduction in violence. But at 9:30 P.M. sniper suddenly intensified in two separate areas—High Street, Orange Street and Central Avenue.

At 11:30 P.M. all city bus ceased operation. Except for the occasional crackle of rifle fire, the city fell silent.

Governor Hughes said at news conference yesterday that despite the efforts of the powerful force of guardsmen and state and city police the situation remained critical.

The Governor’s command post in the Roseville Avenue Armory was not far from where a sniper was reported to have taken up a firing position. A large crowd of whites that ha been loitering all day in front of the armory was disperse and the streets were cleared.

The police had warnings of rising vigilantism among white living near the ghetto. Three white teen-agers were arrested when a search of their car disclosed a rifle and a shotgun.

Businesses Advised Governor Hughes asked major business concerns to remain closed today. He said that the national railroad strike would clog the streets with thousands of commuters trying to read work by car or bus and that he did not want traffic jams in the riot area.

He asked, however, that food stores and restaurants remain open. Banks and public utilities will also open.

Newark College of Engineering will be closed both day and night. Rutgers University will be open in the day but closed at night.

Mr. Hughes directed all schools in Newark to remain closed today, and urged that only essential businesses—among them food stores and pharmacies—open. He said liquor stores and taverns would remain closed "until we can say order has been restored.”

One of Newark’s largest employers, the Public Service Electric and Gas Company, said only 500 essential workers among its 2,500 employees would be called in today.

The Prudential Insurance Company of America, which employs 9,000 people, said its Newark headquarters would be closed.

The riots and the railroad strike prompted the Selective Service System to postpone the induction of 500 men who were scheduled to report today. Col. Joseph T. Avella, the state’s director of Selective Service, said draft boards would notify those affected of a new induction date.

The Governor said he hoped for an early resumption of critical services, such as garbage collection, in the Negro districts. This, he said, would depend on the security situation. Thousands of residents of the heavily Negro Central Ward lined up for hours to receive meager rations of food as the first supplies since Wednesday night began moving into the area under armed guard. Distribution centers manned by volunteers were set up in housing projects and community centers and five supermarkets were reopened under police guard.

Emergency distribution of food might be adversely affected by the national railroad strike, he said.

The first efforts to bridge the gulf between the white and Negro communities collapsed yesterday.

Peace Effort Fails A five-man interracial committee that had recruited several hundred persons to urge the mobs to "cool it” reported complete failure. The peace missionaries, who wore lime-colored armbands, said their leaders had decided to drop the campaign because of harassment by the National Guard and state police.

Adam Garrett, a committee member, said the volunteers would confine their efforts to telling Negroes living in the besieged areas where to go for emergency food and medicine.

Far more damaging to prospects for peace was the reaction of middle-class Negroes to what they called "wanton destruction” perpetrated early today by state policemen and guardsmen.

They charged that shop windows bearing the sign "Soul Brother”—indicating that the owner was a Negro—had been systematically smashed by state troopers’ bullets or been bashed in by the rifle butts of guardsmen. Most of this destruction, they said, took place along Bergen Street, in one of the better Negro residential areas in the West Ward.

Yesterday morning, groups of well-dressed Negroes stood on the street corners of the West Ward and surveyed the damage with somber wrath. J. J. Brown, the proprietor of a record store on Avon Avenue, had put a sign on his damaged window. It said: “State Police Shot Up This Store!”

Residents said two carloads of state troopers entered the area sometime after 3 A.M. and fired into the store windows. Guardsmen joined in the destruction, they said, using rifle butts.

Governor Hughes, at a late afternoon news conference called the charges “hearsay” but added that he was “disturbed” by the reports ai would be glad to investigate the Negroes would provide “facts, figures, time and places.”

Immediately after the Governor’s news conference a delegation of 40 Negroes, armed with photographs of smashed storefronts and some slugs from .38-caliber bullets that said were found inside the stores, arrived at the Rosevil Avenue Armory to see the Governor and confront him with telegram they had sent to Pre ident Johnson.

They said they wanted the National Guard and the state police replaced by “fully integrated Federal troops.”

The telegram to the President explained that Federal troops were needed because of “wanton destruction of property and “actual murders” committed by the police and Nationl Guard men.

Dr. Reynold C. Burch, a leaf er of the group, said innocent Negroes had been killed in “indiscriminate firing” by the ant riot forces.

The telegram also cited “inflammatory statements” by Governor Hughes and Mayor Hugh J. Addonizio and the alleged mobilization of white vigilantes in areas bordering the Negro ghetto.

This vigilante move was fostered, the telegram said, by "ignorant statements made by the Mayor and Governor.” It urged action by the President "by nightfall.”

Governor Hughes said he was aware of Negro charges that the presence of the National Guard and the state police was only adding to the legacy of hate left by the nation’s worst racial explosion in two years He said he was “assessing” the role of the Guard and the police.

But he called the snipers "unregenerate criminals” and said the guardsmen and the state police would “remain until order is restored.”

Weary National Guard men who said they were members of Headquarters Company of the 114th Division, from Woodbury, N. J., ducked sniper fire in the Negro Central Ward in the hours between midnight and dawn yesterday.

“It’s a lousy thing,” a private first class said as he clutched his M-1 rifle with its fixed bayonet. "The first time we ever shot at anyone, and we're shooting at Americans.” The police revised their figures downward last night on the number of persons arrested land injured. They said 1,257 had been arrested and 702 injured.

In a predawn conference yesterday, Governor Hughes offered executive clemency to any prisoners who would give evidence leading to the conviction of a sniper.

Coatless, red-eyed with fatigue, still incensed over the shooting of a fire captain by snipers, the Governor denounced the sniping attacks as “senseless, terrible and criminal.”

He said that State Attorney General Arthur Sills would urge Essex County Prosecutor Brendan Byrne to propose maximum sentences for charges growing out of sniping incidents. He also said he would ask the State Supreme Court to expedite the court calendars to allow the earliest possible processing of these cases.

"I will urge clemency for looters if, and only if, such persons give information leading to the arrest of a person for sniping,” the Governor said.

No Conspiracy Seen Governor Hughes, appearing with Mayor Addonizio on a televised news conference at noon, said the police estimated that as many as 25 snipers were operating in the ghetto. He said he had been told that "some” of those arrested were from outside the city, and added that the police believed some dead snipers were still in or on buildings in Central Ward.

Neither the Governor nor the Mayor said he had any evidence of a conspiracy by an outside group, but the Governor said that “the rather expert sniping, the jumping from place to place—the cruel and despicable efficiency with which this sniping occurred—indicates some organization and some coordination between these criminals participating in it.”

He charged that many of the rioters were "committing violence because they hate America.”

Early yesterday afternoon, escorted by a carload of state policemen with riot guns, Governor Hughes made a quick tour of Negro districts. He said he was pleased to find a partly looted chain grocery had reopened again for business.

He said he thought that the looting and plundering phase of the disorders was over, but reports of scattered pillage later in the day proved him premature.

Mr. Hughes said he had told the Episcopal Bishop of Newark, the Right Rev. Leland Stark, one of the sponsors of the national black power conference scheduled to start here Thursday, that he couldn’t think of "a worse time or a worse place to have a black power meeting.”

He insisted again that he did not need Federal troops. What the Federal government should do, he said, is send all possible economic aid to the city.

Newark is chronically depressed, with an unemployment rate considerably more than double the national average. Economic misery is the root cause of the riot, the Governor said.

Local leaders of the Congress of Racial Equality and the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee held a news conference yesterday afternoon and issued a demand for "immediate withdrawal of National Guard units and state and Newark police from the ghetto.

James Hooper, chairman of the Newark CORE, said Mayor Addonizio had neglected Negro problems. One major grievance, he said, was lack of relocation facilities for people displaced by the proposed construction of a medical college in the heart of the ghetto.

The presence of troops and police only intensified the rioting, Mr. Hooper said.

"Parents aren’t going to sit back and let their kids get shot up,” said Jesse Allen, a CORE organizer. “They’ll go into the streets, too. Then this town will turn into a cemetery. The police are out of control and the National Guard is out of control, too.”

The leaders said the black power conference should proceed as scheduled.

But the crowd of white men loitering near Governor Hughes’s command post in the Roseville Armory sounded equally aggressive.

“If they want war, they’ll get it,” growled one man.

Something very much like war has occurred here as sniper fire from roofs and blackened windows has caused police to spray bullets into tenements and housing projects at scattered points.

Half a dozen fire stations have come under sniper fire. Engine Company 12, in the West Ward, was forced to stay in its quarters for several hours by intense fire.