#eliot and parker at least made an effort in their own emotionally constipated way to communicate that they love and value him

[allebooklover]

Hardison and Parker and Elliot wanted a family, while Sophie and Nate wanted a team. Sophie was willing to play along (and even got attached), while Nate was just, he plain didnt want to because to lose family again would crack him into pieces especially in such risky circumstances (including the above and tag reasoning) and these combined makes it plausible that the reason why Nate shuts down Hardison so badly is because Hardison is trying to get the dynamic Nate is afraid of (and combined with the above and tags reasoning). It’s fascinating.

(Seriously read the tags, anything before my thoughts is takiki16 and it’s good)

I have so many feels about Hardison. Hardison, who thought “it was kind of cool being on the same side” when nobody else would admit it. Who painted that big, ugly picture as a joke, but carted it around everywhere they ended up moving like a family heirloom.  Who worked so hard to build them an office that functioned like a home everywhere that they went - bought a building, bought an entire fucking brewery  (and ran the damn thing, with fair hiring practices and, after a few missteps, fairly good beer no matter what Eliot says) to give them space to work. Who kept Nate’s secrets.

I think what chafes me most about the show is how much Hardison gave and gave and gave for that crew, and how much Nate took without ever giving back. Eliot was mean the way a big brother snaps or a kid pulls their crush’s pigtails (I like to think somewhere in between). Nate was cruel in his dismissiveness and irrational expectations, the way he shut down Hardison every time he showed too much pride - like a kid showing off and hoping to be praised by dad and getting chewed out instead. Because he was just trying to build a family all along. I think he got a taste of that, growing up, was lucky enough to stumble into his Nana’s care - but he never had a normal family, and he was always the odd man out at school, the nerd, the kid who finished his work before the rest of the class had even written the names on the page and acted out, started stealing, because he was just so damn bored. Kids can be so cruel and he found his validation online, sometimes through games and sometimes through the people who hired him to steal information or money. 

Still, better than any of them anymore, Hardison is the one who knows what family actually looks like. Eliot drowned the man who had a normal family in blood a decade or more ago. Nate did his best to forget when he lost his own. Parker never had one. Sophie won’t tell, but girls like her don’t come out of good places. Hardison saw it and for a little while he had it, unconventional but all his. He’s just trying to create a new one for himself by giving them everything he can: his money, his designer homes, his grocery delivery orders with everyone’s favorites (just as long as Eliot cooks it), his carefully crafted briefings, his mind - the smartest one anyone of them has ever known. I always feel like he didn’t really succeed until Nate and Sophie left. Nate’s crew, Hardison’s family.