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alreadymissings · 9 years ago

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sonder ; calum au pt 5 (final)

“You have to perform tonight,” Luke said, running a hand through his effortlessly lazy hair. Calum had told him about how he had invited her and Ashton to the mic night. But he had not expected Luke to tell him he had to perform, especially when he knew that Calum didn’t like performing.

“Luke,” Calum warned. “You know I don’t perform. I don’t even have anything to sing,” he sighed, sagging back against the sofa. He knew he was just being dramatic, and that he had a million and one things that he could sing, but just the thought of being in front of the crowd made him cringe.

Especially with her amongst them. He didn’t want to mess up in front of her.

“You and I both know that’s not true,” Luke huffed, rolling his sky blue eyes. He suddenly stopped, disappearing down the hallway. Calum wanted to follow after him, but remained seated. He returned shortly, tossing a book into Calum’s lap. “I know you keep this hidden underneath your mattress. These songs are gold, Calum. Any of them are worthy of being performed tonight.”

Luke sat down next to Calum, ignoring his glare. Calum had thought his songbook location had been a secret, but he always knew Luke was a snoop so it was no surprise that he finally figured out where he had been hiding it. Calum opened the small notebook, paging through his own scribbled handwriting.

He remembered each one, where he wrote it and when. They were little pieces of him that he had written down, containing his emotions and little quirks that only Luke knew. It contained pieces of his life, of his thoughts and what he wanted out of his existence.

They all felt too personal to be singing to complete strangers.

He sighed, stopping one on of the last songs he wrote. It was one of his most emotional ones he wrote when he was struggling to figure out just who he was in the world. He was a small boy in a large city, but he couldn’t figure out if he was much more than that.

“Okay,” Calum finally agreed. For some reason, his mind had changed. Reading the words he had quickly scribbled down, he felt an intense need to scream them out. He had never felt that way before, but for some reason now, he needed people to hear them.

He needed her to hear them.

“You’re serious?” Luke asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Calum nodded. “Wow, I never thought this day would come. Let’s get your guitar packed up and head down to the café now!” He said, clasping his roommate on the shoulder.

Calum rolled his eyes, but got up from the couch, following Luke into his bedroom. His acoustic was propped up in the corner, ready for its time in the limelight. He grabbed it, pulling the case out from beneath his bed.

“Do you need anything?” Luke asked, standing at the end of Calum’s bed. Calum could tell that he was nervous and excited at the same time. He could only compare him to the likes of a proud father watching his kid ride bike for the first time.

Calum shook his head. “I think I’ll be okay,” Calum said, placing his guitar in the case, making sure he had a pick among other things. He closed the case, latching it shut and then standing, meeting Luke’s eyes.

“She’s going to love it,” Luke smiled, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly.

Calum knew that Luke has heard him sing before, in the shower or sometimes late at night when it was just him and his guitar that existed in the world. But now, he was ready for everyone else to hear him.

“Let’s just go,” Calum said, taking a deep breath. Luke agreed, both of them grabbing their jackets before making their way out onto the crowded streets. They wanted to arrive a little early to add their names to the list so they could perform. That, and so they could claim a good table for their own.

On the way there, Luke asked Calum if he was sure he wanted him to perform too, not wanting to take his limelight away. But Calum refused, telling him that watching Luke in front of everyone with such ease and confidence would only help him and calm his nerves.

She walked down the congested sidewalk, hands shoved deep in her pockets. She had asked Ashton if he wanted to come, and he was going to, but moments before they were ready to leave, his cellphone rang loudly. He sighed as he looked to the screen, knowing it was work. One of his coworkers had gotten sick and Ashton was the last call on the list. He had no other choice but to go in.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hanging up the call. “That was work. I have to go in.”

She waved him away, knowing that it wasn’t his fault. Ashton left her with a hug and a kiss on the forehead before he shrugged on his jacket and was out the door. She sighed, feeling slightly empty.

Ashton was her best friend and she wanted him to meet Calum, though they technically already had met before her. She looked to the clock, noticing it was dangerously close to the five o’clock hour.

She grabbed her own coat and locked her apartment behind her. The streets were more crowded than usual, people just getting off work and tourists on their way to dinner or a movie. She pushed her way through the throng easily, having mastered her ways just weeks after she moved in.

After a few minutes of walking, she could see the golden glow of the café up ahead. She hoped that Calum and Luke were inside waiting for her at a table. She grabbed the door handle, pulling it open and scanning the sea of tables. Most of them were already taken, friends chatting excitedly between themselves as they waited for the entertainment to begin.

She was beginning to think that maybe she had arrived first when she settled on a pair of warm brown eyes. He had found her first, waiting for her to find him. A smile instinctively pulled onto her lips as she stepped forward, navigating her way through the maze before she was sitting down across from Calum, next to Luke.

“No Ashton?” Luke questioned as his greeting.

She shook her head, pulling off the sleeves of her jacket and draping it across the back of her chair. “He wanted to come but he got called into work last minute,” she informed, sighing sadly.

“Maybe he’ll make it next time,” Calum spoke up, handing her a coffee cup. “I took the liberty of getting your peppermint hot chocolate for you so you didn’t have to wait in line. And it’s cooled off just enough,” Calum rambled, swallowing the rest of his thoughts away. He knew he was nervous about singing.

Luke had received the same call that Ashton had, but he declined going in because he needed to be there for his best friend. But he never meant for her best friend to be the one to accept the extra hours.

“Thank you,” she smiled, taking the drink from him just as the first act of the night started. She took a tentative sip, but Calum had been right. It was cooled down so it didn’t burn her tongue. “Are you going to perform tonight, Luke?” She asked politely.

The blonde nodded, smiling slightly. “I am. I try to at every mic night,” he told her and she nodded. She would have asked Calum, but he had already told her that he was too shy to perform outside the confines of his bedroom.

A small silence fell over the table then as they directed their attention towards the stage where a petite girl was strumming delicately on her guitar, her ethereal voice washing over the crowd. It was clear that everyone was enjoying her, nodding their heads along to the beat and mouthing the words to the song she was covering.

Once she was finished, they clapped for her, watching as the next performer took to the stage, singing the song he had prepared – this time an original. Two more singers performed before Luke stood up, as the act was finishing up. He unlocked his guitar case and pulled the instrument from within.

“Good luck,” she grinned up at him. It was a weird feeling, knowing a musician. She knew it was something that she could never do, but the fact that Luke could intrigued her. Luke smiled his thanks, wiping his hands off on his dark skinny jeans as he left the table.

Together, they watched as Luke made himself comfortable on the stool provided by the coffee shop, adjusting the height of the microphone so it was just right for him. Once he was done, he looked out over the crowd, finding their table and then darting away to the other people in the café.

Luke sang, his voice ringing out over the white noise of conversation. He had yet to play, but continued singing. And a few seconds later, his guitar joined in, captivating her once again. She had always known that Luke was an amazing performer, easily catching everyone’s attention in the building. He just had a voice that turned heads.

It was a surprise that he wasn’t famous yet, especially performing in the city that never sleeps.

Luke continued playing, a small smile pulling on his lips as he finished, saying his thanks into the microphone before hauling his guitar back to the table. He sat down again after returning his instrument back into its case. “Calum?” He questioned with an arched brow.

She had been so infatuated with Luke’s performance that she hadn’t noticed the look of trepidation on Calum’s face. He was nervous, swallowing thickly, his knee beneath the table bouncing up and down in anticipation. But it was almost like he snapped, licking his lips, bending over and grabbing something on the floor.

She hadn’t even realized that he had his own guitar stashed beside him. “Luke?” She asked as Calum strode away from them without another word. “What is he doing?” She questioned, knowing that Calum didn’t like being up in front of other people. He wouldn’t even let her read anything he wrote, but here he was in front of a sea of people.

He didn’t give himself an introduction like the other musicians. She knew if she didn’t know him before this night, she would have been even more intrigued by him. He was still so mysterious even if she had all the pieces to his puzzle. Calum stared down at his hands, dark eyelashes fanned across his cheeks as he started to play.

It was a small intro, his foot that was perched on the stool bouncing along to the beat of the song. He then took a deep breath, his dark eyes finding the crowd that he seemingly forgot he was in front of. He licked his lips again and then he was singing.

His voice was much different than Luke’s; smoother, less punch but more emotion.

“Another day, of painted walls and football on the TV, no one sees me,” Calum started, his voice washing over the crowd like a warm caress. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath, watching him perform. His lyrics were personal, and she could see why he didn’t want to share them with everyone.

But she could also tell that he was a natural. All his anxiety seemed to melt away once he sat down and started playing. It was like almost all of his fears were just an illusion. Calum chanted over and over again, “Who am I? Who am I? Who am I when I don’t know myself?”

Everyone, like before, seemed to still as they listened to him sing. They weren’t only transfixed on his singing, but the words that were coming out of his mouth. How they were tragically heartbreaking for someone so young to be singing. It was a small peak inside his dark heart.

Calum sang a few more lines before finishing, letting the guitar trail off before the café exploded into a round of applause. Calum smiled, collecting himself and leaving the stage so the next performer could start. He weaved through the tables, making his way back to his friends.

And before she could realize it, she was on her feet, greeting him with a hug. He stumbled backwards, his free hand coming around to the small of her back, chuckling lowly in her ear. Her arms tangled around his neck as she pulled back, not thinking twice when her lips smashed against his.

Calum eased into the kiss, but it was gone before it had even started, their foreheads resting against each other’s. She smiled, their eyes connecting when Calum’s finally fluttered open. “I see you,” she whispered. “I see you, I see you, I see you.”

He had always tried to blend in, but she was the one that finally saw him.

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