#electricians make like 2-3 times what me and kita make

[imrainai]

Also I am REALLY REALLY SORRY that I haven’t been writing anything for this blog, I have an explanation:

1) I am still working two jobs, because although I SAID I would quit one of them if the tutoring thing panned out (which is has), I keep worrying about what will happen if anything happens to Liet? And also what will happen to the people I work with? And what if whoever replaced me forgot to feed grumpy lady’s fish, or was mean to the undertaker who likes science fiction, or never asked the guy on the fifth floor how his grandson the concert pianist was doing, or forgot to make sure that the retired botanist lady always has flowers in her room, or didn’t listen attentively while the lady on the ninth floor explains the rules of competitive fencing for the sixth time? and because of these questions I am still working an average of fifty paid hours a week

2) The volunteer tutoring thing is going really well! but a lot of kids need special help, and because I want to help them as much as possible, i uh. might be writing up several new activities and supplemental lesson plans per week. which is a lot of fun but also kind of stressful, just a bit

3) Taz is switching schools in the spring! He’s gonna be going to this weird half-vocational half-liberal-arts type place that’s designed to help kids get their trade certifications as a three-year-old, while simultaneously pushing them further in other academic subjects, so they have a wide skill base that will allow them to continue advancing in their career later on. It’s moderately hard to get into, especially the electrician track (Taz is gonna be an electrician, and yes, I am super proud of him), so we’ve been spending kind of a lot of time making sure he has all his ducks in a row for that

4) Ves has all but mastered the art of walking and she is determined to walk AS FAR AS SHE CAN, and as you can imagine it’s kind of hard to write stuff while chasing down a determined almost-one-year-old

5) I still feel really guilty about making time to write? Like, I want to believe that I could be pretty good at it if I worked harder, and I want to believe that that would be a positive thing to pursue, but it also seems really conceited to assume that I’m capable of that, and it seems really selfish to like.... have hobbies, for some reason? Cause what if my purpose in life is to make sure that someone keeps noticing a bunch of people who don’t get noticed often enough, and I stop doing that because I think that I might be capable of doing something that feels more prestigious or difficult or something, and then I try and it turns out I’m not good at it, and then everyone is justified in ridiculing me for wanting to spend time making bad art instead of doing important things like feeding grumpy lady’s fish?

also I’ve gotten like six hours of sleep in the last three days and I still can barely feel my face, and I think maybe my brain is punishing me for absolutely failing at taking proper care of it