#either way he's not like. completely-clueless about-gender cis guy

[skunkes]

honestly i think if it werent still weirdly important to me that al be like. A guy who explored + thought about gender + realized he was still cis despite being/feeling very Gender in many directions (ykwim) i wouldve made him nonbinary already...he'd still be he/him as i genuinely cant see him being comfortable with any other set.

But idk the nonbinarism can definitely still happen considering he (+ other ocs) has/have already evolved a lot and can always evolve more. Like it could go either way, his reasons for ""staying"" cis cld easily be the reasons he "realizes" he's nb ykwim? Just like how Real People all have their reasons. + him being nb would actually still fit my being a sucker for having pairs that are Opposites in multiple ways in the same way him being cis is atm etc

[whythehailnot]

Noooo i am 350ish pounds and i just worry that the people i can pick up on hitting on me (I'm autistic and generally assume people aren't, but when i notice) see me as a easy target. But I'm a butch lesbian so it's usually very clueless men who i guess think that since I'm fat and round and soft I'm feminine enough?? Idk. Anyways, you're sooo so valid. I just feel like with all the ways that society dehumanizes fat people and prioritizes the safety and comfort of thin people, there must be men out there who think that women will jump at the attention because they're not used to it.... It's such a sick way of thinking on their part, but idk. I've had horrible things said to me like i had a cis guy ""therapist"" tell me that i "made myself fat and ugly so men wouldn't pay attention to me" so i don't think it's crazy to feel like some men feel like conventionally "unattractive" women are easy lays that are just as easy to discard

Omg NOOOOOOO not the dumb, clueless men hitting on a butch lesbian bullshit???? 😩😩😩😩 God I hate that, I'm so sorry you've dealt with that AND such a shitty fucking therapist as well?!?! That's SO WILD AND FUCKED UP that he said that to you?? I literally want to clothesline this fucking loser??? Holy shit, I'm so sorry anon, this is all bullshit and you should be entitled to compensation because good lord???!!! 😩😩😩😩 I hope you've been able to find a better therapist after that loser 🙏🙏💖💖💖💖💖

Thank you so much for reaching out with your solidarity and sharing your experience - I'm so mad that this is An Thing that fat people have to deal with. I was having a bit of a lay-and-cry earlier, and I was thinking to myself that truly it's not my body that I'm unhappy with, it's the fact that it's treated so badly/weirdly by other people and society/culture as a whole!

It's the dehuminization that just absolutely reeks and it's so hard to sometimes talk to people about it, because it's just not a factor they've been exposed to. Most people - especially women or femme people - understand the experience of being objectified, which absolutely sucks. It BLOWS and everyone gets that - we all hate it here together 👏✨ but I feel like when you're fat on top of it, the vigilance/awareness we have against people either fetishizing our bodies or completely desexualizing them feels so constant and it can be exhausting! And if you're not white on top of it, and/or less gender-conforming, than that's a whole other ball of wax of potential bullshit to deal with!! UGH! Big BOOOO on that!! 😩😤

There ARE people who are absolutely normal and not weirdos about fat people out there, who just see people as people, and are just attracted to whoever (what a concept!) but boy oh boy do dating apps bring out a type sometimes... = w =;;;; And unfortunately it just stirs up so much.

I'm rambling on your ask, anon, I'm so sorry! 🙏 But thank you so much again for reaching out and sharing your experience 🙏💖💖💖💖 I am SO sorry you've dealt with this as well and I hope you're being surrounded by less fucking weirdos as time continues! 🙏💖💖💖 Keep being hot, fat and butch, anon! I appreciate you and your solidarity so much!! 🙏💕💕💖💖💖💕💕💕💖💖💖