#either thing is repurposed for daily wear or daily wear is close enough

[chainsawmascara]

We stay celebrating light's death in this house.

[tobiasdrake]

One last task to take care of before we infiltrate Fort Fleshy.

I was twiddling them earlier when I was flying around the map just to see what I could find. This place is definitely an intricate combination lock.

Could be the key to releasing Duke Aventry. Might just be Roro's porn stash. Either way, we won't know until we've cracked it. Personally, I think we should forego the lock and just bring Yolande in to blow this support column to hell.

Sure, we can also do that. Yoyo knows everything and is loyal to no one, so there's no reason she wouldn't assist us but no guarantee that she would either. Worth a shot.

Your swamp is a maze and I hate it. Give me useful information or I'll make your other eye look like the one I'm wearing on this necklace.

...

I mean. Good afternoon, Yoyo. What a pleasant day we're having. Could you possibly help me break into your sister's porn stash?

Yep. Got it. Just like the Watchmaker. Not motivated enough to directly assist us but also not motivated enough to put up with the violence that's going to ensue if you don't. One whole "Not My Fucking Problem", served and delivered.

I've seen these runes before. I remember wondering what they were about. But the Roro Heist was so long ago, I'd forgotten.

Thanks, Yoyo. This was a fairly neutral level of non-assistance. Your cauldron didn't even tell me anything new; Just reminded me of answers I've already witnessed.

Here we go. The most closely-held secrets of the embodiment of evil incarnate....

...are a backdoor into this vault we've already been in. Okay but why tho.

What is even the point of this? The combination to the lock is written on the wall, and if you take that combination to an island off the coast and enter it into a secret crypt, it will open a passage to bring you right back here but now the treasure's unlocked.

This is the most roundabout key I've ever seen. Only a truly despicable mind would come up with something so needlesly convo-

...

Oh.

That's what the convoluted circuit loop lock is guarding? Roro makes this whole trip every single time she wants to write a new entry?

Well. We did not find her porn stash. Instead, we found her daily workout regimen. An awkward way to get your steps in but credit where it's due, it means she can't skip out on the routine.

Hold up, she repurposed your journal into her own? That is a whole new layer of domineering.

You need to get out of this relationship, my dude. Like. I think it's pretty clear at this point that she does not respect your personal space at all.

There is a vacancy. We butchered the creature that was occupying it, so if you want to go back, you can.

Oh cool, new Ferry ticket.

Honestly, not 100% sure why Aventry wanted us to come here. Unless this is the place he has fond memories of or something.

I dunno. We'll smash and grab first, then sift through the loot and figure out what we're supposed to do with it later.

Oh shit, it's Roro's private residence. That's what he gave us. I guess that other place was just her work office.

...do you think she'll be happy to see us? I guess there's really only one way to find out. *clears throat* HEY BESTIE--

How have you been? Raised any cool horrors lately? I saw your sister the other day, she seemed to be doing... adequately.

Anyway, we gotta talk about your boy. You're keeping the leash wound a little too tight and--

Okay, but was it really your journal? He had it first. How does that saying go? Two wrongs balance each other out and make everything ultimately fine.

But also that's lame and I prefer it when things are unbalanced in my favor, so now I need to rob you even more.

You heard her, team. We're looking for a locket. Fan out and--

Oh, yeah. We're old pals. It's just too bad she keeps her place in such a miserable state. Look at this place. Bones and flesh just lying strewn about.

I'd offer to help clean up but honestly, that sounds like too much work. Zale, you're pretty good with clutter, why don't you sweep the place.

There we go. Nice and spotless.

Ah, this brings back memories. There's something nostalgic about it. You never really forget your first armed robbery.

Pleasure doing business with you.

You know, we have to stop meeting like this. You going about your day. Me, beating the shit out of you and taking your things. It's getting stale. Why don't we do lunch sometime or something, just for a change of pace?

I think we hurt her feelings. Do... do you want to talk about it?

Uh, Roro says you're fired, by the way. Can't say I've ever been given a gift-with-purchase for a robbery before but she handed me the pink slip right along with the locket.

Yeah, I thought it was weird too.

Better luck in the next life, man. Hope the person waiting for you will treat you better.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Opinions on the new fits for the characters? (Cus oh boy we got some… interesting outfits this time)

Oh baby you know I have opinions in spades

Ichirou - Maybe I'm just desensitized to bad outfits at this point, but I don't hate the Buster Bros clothing with every fiber of my being. If it wasn't for the hole in his pants and his awful golden collar, I'd wear this. If he pulls the hood up, he's doing an Among Us cosplay, but that's something we just all have to live with.

Jirou - At this point, I've seen probably several hundred Japanese men on Twitter wearing Jirou's exact outfit, so I don't feel like I have room to complain. He's prepared in case a sudden game of Capture the Flag breaks out.

Saburou - It could be worse. The way they're styling his hair is pretty cute, gets that nice innocent kid look. (This is, of course, a trap. Saburou can roast harder than anyone.) I feel like Ichirou bought him this outfit, as I can't picture Saburou with this much style sense on his own.

Samatoki - It's shocking, but Samatoki actually looks good and not like a fucking dork for once. I'm impressed.

Juuto - The impression I get of this man is that he's a father of three children between the ages of 2 and 7 (Samatoki, Riou, and Nemu, probably) who takes them all hiking even though they complain that their feet get sore, and he has no less than 4 bicycles hanging upside down in some room of his house. He shops at Whole Foods to buy shit like asparagus water, and worst of all, he actually drinks it. He gets his wife scented candles from independent sellers off of Etsy for their anniversary. There is a homemade kombucha setup in their kitchen and that, along with the artisan beer he buys from local breweries that all feature 2 dogs and more bikes hanging from the ceiling, makes up a sizable portion of his daily calorie intake. His biggest political concerns all revolve around the legalization of weed, and he's almost certainly a software developer.

Riou - He's repurposing a military grade parachute, and good for him. When I was talking to MC Mad Lion about this, she says it's his work from home uniform. I'm not exactly sure how a soldier can work from home, so this is probably the outfit he uses to go play Call of Duty with Saburou. I'm getting unspeakable "older teenage white boy from the PS2 era" vibes from this man.

Ramuda - I'm angry because this is close enough to the things I wear that I want to wear this. Yeah, I know I said I'd wear the parrot outfit, but that was more out of a sense of defeat and feeling like I had to compromise with Hypmic on something. But I'd actually wear this. I legit want that shirt and am angry that it doesn't exist. The flaps in the shorts are stupid af but that shirt? Balling. Love that arrow thing.

Gentarou - Man's doing a Howl from Howl's Moving Castle cosplay, and good for him. I think he's had enough of Hypmic and is trying to audition for MahoYaku or something. Best of luck, my man.

Dice - I'm fairly certain Ramuda bought this for him from the same store Samatoki shops at. It's pretty decent, if you're into obnoxious prints. I feel like he, Samatoki, and Hifumi are about to go on vacation together. (New ARB event when?)

Jakurai - In my constant search for the comfiest fit possible, I would have been into this if it wasn't for the collar. But this implies he's still wearing a nice, formal outfit underneath the tunic thing. Maybe this is simply a commentary on Jakurai's inherent reservation but either way, I don't like it. What is the POINT if you are not drowning in soft fabric? Smfh.

Hifumi - I feel like if I saw this in real life, I would instantly assume the wearer was a douchebag, gay, or both, but since this is Hifumi, who is in the company of some really awful outfits and also gay by default, I don't think I mind it.

Doppo - So you know how when you take all the clothes off a cloth doll that its torso and crotch are covered by this sorta nondescript pink cloth instead of any kind of body parts? That's what Doppo reminds me of. They declothed Dollpo and then stuck normal shirt sleeves on him. He's got that same shit going as Jakurai but even worse. I am begging KR to stop.

Sasara - He's a lesbian.

Roshou - Okay, I can dig this one. Again, I feel like it's because there's so much else going on to the immediate left, but it's simple and fairly elegant. This is his Grindr profile picture when he made an account after Dotsuitare Hompo broke up for the first time. In his bio, he put, "DON'T break the ice with a joke. No funny business allowed."

Rei - He looks like he owns a carnival game that is 100% rigged and is secretly involved in some evil plot in a children's chapter book, so this outfit is really in character for him.

Kuukou - Okay, I do like all the BAT clothes. I wouldn't wear them, but they're dope. This is a fairly feminine outfit, but Kuukou's rocking it. Good for you, you crazy bitch!

Juushi - Likewise with Kuukou's, this is pretty feminine, but that actually suits Juushi well. Again, this all looks nice. There's nothing wrong with it for once. I think I like this more than his default clothes.

Hitoya - Besides looking disturbingly like a cross between a butch lesbian and an 80-year-old spinster from the 1950s, this all looks good. I think he borrowed Roshou's glasses, but that's chill too, as home boy doesn't need them to see anyway. I definitely like this more than his default clothes.

[jaxsteamblog]

Wisdom

Click here to read the full fic on AO3

For two days, Katara tried to think about something else. Sokka didn’t ask about her trip to the museum or lunch with Zuko and she didn’t bring it up. Of course she had questions, but there was a certain reciprocity that came into play. If Sokka had told Zuko what they had done during the war, Zuko didn’t treat her differently because of it. And if he hadn’t said anything, then perhaps it was unfair to grill her brother about the actions of his politically connected friend.

But it still nagged at the back of her mind.

Political meant that he had to have been connected to the war. He was too young to have formally served, but it wasn’t beyond reason for someone to lie about their age. She and Sokka had done just that.

She still didn’t ask. If it was really something important, either Sokka or Zuko would have told her.

Of course they would have.

On the second day after her impromptu outing, Sokka invited her out.

“The summer is winding down and Zuko wants to take us out before you have to go.” He said. “And I’ve got some extra money to burn after selling some of those lilies.” He leaned in close to whisper the last part and Katara swatted him away with a laugh.

“You should reinvest and think about getting a bigger shop. You’d make more money doing bigger events you know.” Katara said as she carefully clipped dead leaves off a spray of greenery filler.

“I’d have to get actual employees and you know I can’t work with other people.” Sokka replied. He was wrapping bows around squat vases. Using flowers with broken stems or asymmetrical blossoms, Sokka made bouquets that were basically really pretty and really temporary paper weights. Lots of people got them for picnics to hold down napkins or paper plates.

“You have to get help during love day and prom season.” Katara countered and Sokka grunted.

“Anyway, that’s not the point. I just want to properly hang out with you before you fly off to med school.” He said.

Katara wiped her clippers on her apron and set them down. The skin around her fingernails were stained green and leaf juice was stuck under her nail. It would always take a week or two after working in the flower shop for her hands to return to normal.

“I think I’ll pass tonight. But what about a family movie night tomorrow? There’s a couple of things that just hit Webflicks.” Katara said.

Sokka looked at her but didn’t say anything. She ignored him and his look, choosing to bunch up the greenery and look for any spots she missed.

“Well we’re going for dinner if you change your mind.” Sokka said. Katara smiled at him as she moved to the refrigerator.

“I won’t.” She replied.

After making dinner, Katara sat cross-legged on her couch and flipped through her queue. With the announcement of finding Avatar Thuy, Webflicks was restreaming a documentary on the previous Avatars. It only went back to Avatar Yangchen, but to be fair, that was the earliest they had documented evidence of their histories. The first episode of the six part series was about the various creation myths that sparked the Avatar and was the only episode Katara had bothered to watch so far. What was interesting was how the series was narrated by Avatar Aang’s youngest son Tenzin; Katara liked his creaky old man voice.

It was only as she skipped through the title cards that Katara realized there were now seven episodes. It looked like there was already something on the new Avatar and Katara looked at the same picture that had accompanied the article she saw at lunch with Zuko.

Thuy was thirteen years old and she looked slightly scared in the picture. Or it might have been discomfort as she was wearing a version of formal North Pole robes done in green. Two adults, probably her parents, stood behind her, still wearing the clothes common to the Swamp Tribe.

She was only a year younger than Katara had been when she and Sokka had gone out to search for their parents. She wondered which weight was the worse burden.

Still trying to decide what to watch, she briefly scrolled back to the episode on Avatar Roku. For some reason, his title card had him standing next to Fire Lord Sozin and Katara wondered what about her search history would make the Webflicks algorithm think she wanted to see that guy.

Finally deciding on some trashy romcom, Katara settled back into the couch and ate under the light of her TV. It wasn’t a satisfying ending to her day but it was comfortable.

Not that she could shake the questions that clung to her, however.

Katara washed up after the movie was over and looked at the clock in the kitchen. It wasn’t late and Sokka was probably still out with Zuko. Biting the skin at the corner of her thumb, Katara went for her phone and turned it on. There wasn’t a text from Sokka, but she did notice new pictures on his Clicktalk. Sure enough, he, Suki, and Zuko had gone from dinner to a bar downtown.

Flicking back to her home screen, Katara looked again at the time. Sokka was the one who had to wake up early; he made daily trips to the flower market at dawn to get the best flowers he could. Being up this late already meant that he wasn’t going to be sleeping, so tomorrow was going to be interesting. Yet as she weighed the cost of going out to still have to deal with her brother’s grump in the morning, Katara turned off her phone and walked away.

Zuko was hiding something, and it was probably as big as Katara’s own secret.

Katara’s phone rang.

Frowning, she picked it back up and then jumped at seeing the name.

“Dad?” She asked, bringing the phone to her ear.

“Hey Kat. Sorry for calling so late, but I just got off the phone with Arnook.” Hakoda said. Katara could feel the blood rushing in her ears and Katara resumed biting her thumb.

“It’s not that late. What’s up?” She replied.

“You saw they found the Avatar?” Hakoda asked.

“Yeah. In the Swamp.”

“Perfect place for her, actually. I was so relieved to hear it.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“Well Arnook wants to have a joint press conference. Get all three tribes together for a formal announcement of the Avatar.” Hakoda continued.

“So what does that mean?” Katara asked, her anxiety growing.

“He thinks it’s high time to make other announcements.” Hakoda said.

“Dad, now isn’t a good time. I’m about to start medical school and-”

“Katara, you knew that wasn’t going to be the endgame. You have a responsibility to your people. A Waterbender is supposed to-”

“Dad, I cannot do this right now.” Hakoda sighed and Katara stayed quiet, slowing her breathing to not make a sound.

“I can push it back, make it so that this is only about the Avatar. But Arnook wants to do something before she moves to Gaoling.” Hakoda said finally.

“What’s in Gaoling?” Katara asked.

“Her earthbending instructor. Apparently there’s a child in an underground earthbending competition that is complementary to Thuy’s style.” Hakoda replied.

“Okay.” Katara said, unsure of what else to offer in that moment.

“Talk to your brother for me will you? I haven’t been able to get a hold of him.”

“I will dad.”

“I love you Katara.”

“I love you dad.”

After the screen turned off, Katara leaned against her sink. Looking out the window, she could see part of the waning moon. With a sigh, she unplugged her phone and grabbed her purse, slipping on her sandals as she made it to her front door.

The night was less hot, but the air felt sticky as everything cooled. It was enough though, and Katara drove around with her windows down, letting the wind tangle her hair. Her first impulse was to track down Sokka, but this was something she couldn’t share with him. Despite everything they had gone through together, there were things he wouldn’t understand.

Driving on autopilot, Katara found herself heading to the flower shop. Diverting slightly, Katara pulled into the only other place she knew.

The light in the front windows of the Jasmine Dragon was soft and homey. Pulling her knitted shawl tightly over her shoulders, Katara hoped she wasn’t as underdressed as she feared.

When she stepped into the lobby, she realized she was mortifyingly underdressed.

The light and glamour of the place made her pause though, and she looked past the small host podium to the rest of the tea house. So many people, men and women both, were wearing traditional dress. The kimonos, hanboks, and banbi were plentiful among the tables of modern evening wear.

Just as Katara turned to walk out, she heard someone call out.

“Ah, excuse me, but weren’t you here for my nephew’s birthday?”

Katara turned back and saw the older man who had spoken at Zuko’s party. She bowed politely.

“I was. My name is Katara.” She said in greeting.

“Sokka’s younger sister correct?” The man said.

“Yes, sir.” Katara replied. The man laughed.

“Please, just call me Iroh. Are you looking for Zuko?” He asked. Katara shook her head and gripped the edges of her shawl.

“No, I know he’s out with my brother.” She replied. Iroh looked shocked.

“Are you here for tea then?” He questioned. Sheepish, Katara nodded.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I meet the dress code.” She answered.

“Nonsense. Tea is for everyone. Here, follow me.” Iroh started to walk into the main tea room and Katara followed, her head swiveling to look around without actually looking at anything. People did watch her and as she passed, she saw them start to whisper behind large sleeves. Or worse, behind the bouquets she and Sokka had made.

Iroh led her through the main room and into the kitchen. A few of the kitchen staff greeted him and he waved as they continued on. Taking her up a staircase in the back, Katara could feel the change of space. The tea house was built to look traditional and served various tea styles. The kitchen, like the restrooms, were wholly modern. But up the creaky steps, Katara could smell dust and wood oil.

“This is my private tea room.” Iroh said as he opened a door at the top of the stairs. It looked like an office that had part of the space repurposed as a sitting area. Tatami took up half the space and a low table held a cleared pai sho board. The rest of the office just looked like a normal office; Katara could recognize the look of invoices and statements from the door.

“What kind of tea do you prefer, Katara?” Iroh asked as he took off his shoes. Katara followed suit, sitting down to remove the guest slippers from their plastic wrap.

“To be honest, I don’t know much about tea. But since you made a whole business out of it, I’d love your recommendation.” She said.

Iroh chuckled and went to a small kitchenette. He set about filing a kettle and lit an old brazier with his firebending. Katara knelt at the table, looking around the small room.

“So Katara, Sokka tells me you’re studying to be a doctor?” Iroh said as he shuffled over to the table with a full tray of small dishes. She helped him spread everything out before he got back up and went to the whistling kettle.

“I am, well, I will be. In the fall.” Katara shifted some of the plates around. “Though I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish.”

“Pardon me if this is indelicate, but is it the cost that worries you?” Iroh asked. Katara blushed and waved her hands in front of her face.

“No! Oh, no, that’s not it.” She said and calmed herself. “I just have some, family obligations.”

“Ah, those are hard to shoulder sometimes.” Iroh returned with tea and poured some out for them both. Katara felt herself shrink and she put her hands around her cup.

“Sorry. Zuko told me a bit about your family.” She said. To her surprise, Iroh laughed.

“There is nothing to apologize for. My family is not the typical kind of family, and our struggles were much more drastic.” He said.

“That sounds a bit much.” Katara said and lifted her cup. The scent was light and floral, and she could smell the heat of the water.

“Did Zuko not tell you I was a general in the Fire Nation army?” Iroh asked.

The tea spewed from Katara’s mouth. In a rush of motion, as Iroh lifted his arms to shield his face, Katara used one hand to catch the spray and the other to hold up her dropped cup. Dumping all the liquid back into the teacup, Katara fell onto her backside.

The panic, fear, and anxiety swirled inside of Katara and she felt as if she were being dragged down into a whirlpool. But she could handle water; this was something else.

“Where did you fight?” She asked. Her heart thumped in her chest and she worried Iroh could see the jump of it through her shirt.

“I fought in the Yue province. I led the exiled forces.” Iroh replied calmly. Then he regarded her with a serious look.

“What about you?” He asked and Katara felt her body seize.

The memories she had tried so hard to drown bobbed to the surface like dead seaweed. A tangle of rotted slime, it made Katara’s stomach turn.

“I wasn’t a soldier.” Katara murmured.

“But you fought nonetheless.” Iroh said, his tone becoming more gentle.

“I was at the North Pole and then travelled south, hitting a few prison camps.” Katara admitted and Iroh nodded.

“Part of the liberation group then?” He asked. Katara picked up her cup with purpose and shook her head. After crossing paths with Jet, she wanted nothing to do with the small liberation cells that dotted the Earth Kingdom. Now that sovereignty had been restored, she hoped he had managed to find something less destructive to do with his time.

“Sokka and I travelled with the Kyoshi Warriors. We were trying to find the Avatar halfway through the war.” Katara said. “We clearly failed.”

“I wonder who her firebending teacher will be.” Iroh remarked casually, drinking his tea.

“I’m not so certain it’ll be anyone from the royal schools.” Katara said and tried to relax.

“How long do you think it will take to heal from the war?” Iroh asked.

“As in for you and I? Or the rest of the world?”

“What is the world if not the collective lives of the people?

“Hmmm.” Katara intoned and breathed in the steam from her tea.

“It depends on proximity I guess. The Poles are going to be hurting for a while, but the Earth Kingdom interior is already back on its feet. I don’t know much about politics, but it’s not like we hear much about the Fire Lord here in Ba Sing Se.”  She said.

“But you are having tea with a Fire Nation general.” Iroh said.

“I’m not a typical Water Tribal.” Katara replied. “Plus, there’s nothing to gain from dealing with the past.”

“I think you’ll find that the present doesn’t just come from the future, but is based in the past as well.” Iroh said. “The future rushes towards you, but only because the past pushes you along to meet it.”

“Yeah, but I’m tired of all these allegories implying that I’m being forced into a future I don’t want after living through a past I hated. I think it’s time to bend the rules a bit.”

“I’m sure you’d be the one to bend the river of fate, Katara.”

“Because I’m a Waterbender?”

Iroh laughed and put a hand to his chest. “Ah, you caught me.”

Katara smiled and raised her teacup. “Thanks for the honest tea, General Iroh.”

This bolstered Iroh’s laugh and Katara smiled.

“I will just say this,” Iroh said as his laughter subsided. “Wisdom doesn’t just come with age, it comes with survival. I think if you let yourself, you could be very wise. I believe you have survived enough.”

“Oh, are you pouring clarity now?” Katara quipped.

“Ah, you are worse than my nephew.” Iroh said.

“Thank you Iroh. But I should be getting back now.” Katara said and rose from the table. Iroh stood and went with her to the stairs.

“Feel free to come back any time. And don’t worry about your clothes; everyone else is already envious of your youth.” He said.

Katara snorted and wiggled her feet into her sandals.

“Thank you for supporting my brother.” She said and bowed. Iroh bent slightly in return.

“Thank you for your friendship with my nephew.” He said.

Katara walked briskly down the stairs, listening to the sharp groans meet her feet with every step. The kitchen was quieting down and there were fewer people moving about. The tea house still seemed to have the same number of occupants, but Katara moved too quickly toward the entrance to really notice.

It was only when she hit the sidewalk that she stopped to breathe. Looking up in the night sky, she could see the moon more clearly. The outline of the crescent was sharp, like someone had pared it away with a blade.

The sight made her chest ache and her soul yearned for the ocean.

Her phone beeped and Katara startled at the sound. Pulling it out of her pocket, she saw a new message.

From Zuko.

The message was a picture of the moon and one simple line:

Doesn’t this look like the perfect place to sit and just watch the world turn?

Katara smiled but found tears in her eyes. Letting out a pained breath, Katara replied.

K: You are such a sap.

Z: I wish you had come out with us tonight.

K: I wasn’t really feeling it.

Z: Not feeling it or me?

K: Excuse???

Z: Sorry! I just meant after the lunch…

K: It’s fine Zuko. I just got a lot going on.

Z: Well did you want to hang out again? When you have less going on?

Katara walked down the sidewalk toward her car. A thought did run through her head and gave her pause. Zuko, for all that he implied, might be the best person to talk to about what was going on in her life. Then again, he could also be the exact opposite.

K: I don’t know. I’ll get back to you.

Z: Rain check, got it.

Sighing heavily, Katara made it to her car and unlocked the door. There was a certain sadness that hit her now and again that emptied her out and made her feel weightless. As she opened the car door, she almost felt like she was drifting up into the sky. It took the weight of her worries to keep her grounded.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

[armsdealing]

▌real name: marcelo giancarlo reyes marconi. ▌single or taken: single or taken depending on the timeline.  ▌abilities or powers: mixology, cards (don’t play poker with him because you will lose; for that matter, don’t play baccarat or faro or even uno -- again, because you will lose), public speaking, gun handling (has been taught how to use them since he was 14), dancing (breaking/hip hop; salsa; merengue, among others), kickboxing (trained since he was 7), playing sports (primarily soccer; he’s a forward winger) + the powers that come with being a werepuma (being nigh indestructible; healing factor; heightened senses and superhuman condition; shapeshifting, and immunity to psychic attacks, just to name some relevant ones) ▌eye color: dark brown. the puma eyes, when shifts into them, are pretty striking: besides the fact that they gleam, the iris is a ring of green/blue inside a ring of yellow. they seem almost hypnotic, and in the dark, they retroreflect light. (reference / 2) ▌hair color: brown ▌family members: gianna marconi-reyes (mother, deceased), ysmael reyes (father, deceased); a lot of aunts and uncles but primarily -- on his father’s side -- berenice and emmanuel reyes, and daniela and adán, all alive; then there’s his many cousins, all of which he’s very close to (acting sometimes more like siblings than cousins). on the maternal side there’s the marconi family which is big and complex on its own right but he’s not particularly close to any of them. it’s worthy to mention that he’s the grandson of giancarlo marconi, a very prominent don in the east coast mob, though.  ▌pets: he doesn’t have any, but he feeds any and all stray cats he comes across, and they end up following him around.  ▌something they don’t like: he doesn’t like stuck-up attitudes and people out of touch with reality. doesn’t like people noseying into his business, either. alas, he chose to work in social media and he deals with both of those things on a daily basis.  ▌hobbies/activities: the abilities above mentioned count as hobbies, frankly. marcelo is so good at them because he enjoys doing them and practices as often as he can. he also likes cooking (it’s a good sign when he cooks for you) and talking walks, running, swimming, watching movies, listening to podcasts, riding his motorcycle, camping, bouldering, hiking, taking pictures (with a camera and his phone), playing instruments (piano + guitar) and singing. he also likes traveling.  ▌ever hurt anyone before: yes. though big on pacifism nowadays, marcelo is not a stranger to fighting, and not just the kind of fighting where you throw a few punches and then quit. i’m talking full blown brawls where bones have been broken and eyes blackened and he’s had to get yanked away from the other party. he used to be much worse when he was younger, when he was more temperamental and less mindful of his own strength, and when his tolerance towards bullies and insults was zero point zero. nowadays you can still catch that side of him under specific circumstances. however, it’s rare -- he much prefers to remain unresponsive to insults and provocations. and as for hurting people emotionally... tbh yes. sometimes, he doesn’t think before he speaks. and sometimes, he does thinks he speaks, but you deserve to hear what he’s about to say (at least according to him).  ▌ever killed anyone before: in his main verse, not just yet.  ▌animal that represents them: puma, cougar, catamount, mountain lion! but if you want other examples, all felines in general.  ▌worst habits: he pours all his emotional labour into other people and none on himself, usually without noticing that people just use him. he’s gotten a bit better at this (he’s lost some “friends” because of it, no doubt), but still... he worries a lot and whats to Help, and he stresses out when he can’t solve the problems of people he cares about.  ▌role models: his parents but that’s kind of falling apart the older he gets. his aunts, berenice and daniela, and his older cousin natalia (played by @neotropical​). his godmother, also named gianna played by @tribeof​​. emiliano @riverbodies. and his best friend ivana played by @neotropical​​. nearly all his role models are women because men kinda suck, frankly.  ▌sexual orientation: bisexual.  ▌thoughts on marriage/kids: he wants both those things very much. he would definitely love to get married someday and have a small, intimate, but fun wedding and he would love to have kids (he’s thinking three) to raise and love. he would be a natural as a father, far from perfect, but definitely the type of parent that just intuitively knows what his kid wants and needs -- and works to help them even if he doesn’t.  ▌fears: as a result of past traumas, marcelo is terribly afraid of losing people he loves, cue him being very protective over them. he can’t stand the thought of them getting hurt, nevermind actually dying.  ▌style preferences: marcelo values his family above all other things, and it shows pretty much in the fact that he carries them everywhere with him and they really have an impact on his sense of style. he always carries his father’s silver cross necklace not out of a sense of faith (that hasn’t been there for a long time) but because it belonged to his father. he has the birthdate of his twin cousins (inigo and ignacio) tattooed on his shoulders in roman numerals, and the names of his parents on the back of his neck. he’ll often wear necklaces with pictures of family members, and pieces that belonged to his aunts, from chains to rings and bracelets. he made paintings and drawings by his little cousins into shirts he often wears. he lets alba sew patches into his jeans. he gets his nails painted by camila and his hair cut by elián. much of his wardrobe is actually hand me downs when not thrift finds and tend to be combined with high fashion clothes that are, more than often, gifts (from either industry friends or, let’s just say, benefactors) -- but yeah, when not wearing sportswear, he’s mixing and matching repurposed clothes with luxury fashion items. point is: there’s a lot of history to a lot of the things marcelo wears and much of it goes back to his family, which he’s gone as far as to immortalize on his skin in some form. ▌someone they love: ivana, his best friend, is basically his soulmate as well tbh and the person he loves the most. on that same tier go charmaine and rafael (@neotropical). in a platonic and familial manner, he loves gianna (@tribeof), zephyr (@isolctions), emiliano and alondra @riverbodies, and honestly.... this list ain’t long enough. he’s so full of love and you’re all missing out on that shit, smfh. of course, he also loves his entire family to bits.  ▌approach to friendships: marcelo would do, and does, anything for his friends and he loves always making new ones. he’s the helpful, generous type that is happy simply spending time with you, but will also try and get you involved with new things he’s doing, and will always be down for whatever you’d like to do. as a matter of fact, involved is the best way to describe the way marcelo always tries to make his friends feel. he’s not nosey or pushy, but if y’all haven’t talked in a while he will often send you a text to check up on you. he treasures his friendships and devotes time to them. as mentioned before, he’s also very protective and very much a mom friend. ▌thoughts on pie: he’s not crazy about it but he enjoys a good strawberry pie now and then! ▌favorite drink: (non-alcoholic) water, and coffee. colombian coffee to be precise: don pablo colombian supremo, but any colombian brand will do. (alcoholic) his go to alcoholic brands are bacardi, havana club, josé cuervo and antioqueño. he loves his mojitos, daiquiris and cubalibres and those are his usual orders, when not ordered plain.  ▌favorite place to spend time at: his apartment. he isn’t gonna pay rent not to spend time in that shit. that being said he equally enjoys both the city and nature. he thrives in the night life and in clubs, parties of all kinds, the neon HQ and high end bars, and he loves beaches, and parks, and forests, and mountains).  ▌swim in the lake or in the ocean: he won’t refuse either, boy just loves swimming.  ▌their type: honestly it’s really flexible. he can date from the sweetest angel to the biggest asshole if you’re ultimately a good person. he likes people that are comfortable in their own bodies, that are confident and got spine without being conceited. mutual interests definitely help, but a similar desire to grow together and put effort into things and each other is even more attractive to him. just be mature and know how to communicate. 

tagged by: i forgot but i love them. tagging: @neotropical​ (ivy), @tribeof​ (gianna or abel) @isolctions​​​ (zephyr or rue), @belissimae​, @withlwolves​​ (maria) @dirtypaw​​ @zkljns @curdledmiilk​ (your pick, someone you haven’t done) @undones​ (griff) @wheelmans​ @strikier​ (yes im tagging all ur fuckin blogs) 

[theteaisaddictive]

okay but you can't just tease us with a wedding meme mentioning ejts in the tags. spill :D

ask and ye shall receive my dear :D

1) Who proposes? 2) How do they propose? 3) Reaction of the one being proposed to

in the middle of the chaos post-transformation, belle probably whispers to eve that she never wants to leave her side again. 

‘i know, i know,’ eve whispers. ‘i remember. i’ll never leave you again.’

‘no, i-’ belle says. ‘i mean, i want to stay with you forever’, and she drops to one knee right there on the newly-constructed balcony, still strewn with rose petals and the rosy-fingered dawn. she holds out her left hand palm-up. ‘do you?’

eve joins her kneeling on the ground, her legs still shaking from the transformation. she takes her hand, her eyes almost shockingly large now that they’re in a human face. ‘yes. yes. yes, belle, dearest, of course.’ she leans over and they kiss.

they kiss for quite a while. 

4) How they tell the others

chip, of course, asks as soon as the general excitement levels have gone down, ‘are they gonna get married?’

the senior staff all glance at each other wondering who’s going to have to finally teach this emblem of hope for the future about homophobia, but before the silence can get more than half a step beyond natural, eve chimes in with an ‘of course we are, chip. in fact, belle asked me not twenty minutes ago and i said yes.’

while mrs potts is relieved that eve is human again and that she’s no longer cold and cruel-hearted, she notices a certain fire in eve’s eyes that came straight from her father – the stubbornness which means she’s going to get her own way come hell or high water. it used to apply to hunting, and petty matters of daily life. mrs potts is proud to see it used to marry belle. 

(marie doesn’t find out that they’re married for … a while. how long an interval it’s going to be? haven’t decided yet.)

5) Who’d they choose as ring bearer

chip, of course! who else?

6) Who’s the one that spends the most time worrying about preps for the wedding?

surprisingly, there isn’t actually a lot of time to prep for the wedding. neither of them have much of a taste for fancy celebrations and would prefer a simple ceremony, so that’s what they choose. (but yes, eve does manage to get her bee in a bonnet regardless)

7) When they go looking for their outfits

it’s less ‘looking for outfits’ and more ‘repurposing old ones’. belle would be more than happy to just wear her best blue dress, but even though eve had a transformative experience shaped by queer love, she’s adamant that belle has a new, different dress she’s never worn before for the ceremony (so belle is in basically the celebration dress from the remake, and eve is in essentially ella’s wedding dress from the 2015 film but minus the train. yes i am trash. no i refuse to apologise.)

IMAGINE THESE BLUSHING BRIDES. ALSO YOU WILL HAVE TO IMAGINE THEM AGAIN FOR ROSES AND LAVENDER BUT PRETEND FOR A MOMENT THAT LILY JAMES IS PORTRAYING A GENDER-SWAPPED BEAST HERE AND NOT CINDERELLA

8) Fusses over the other before the wedding day

they’re both very concerned about each other and it’s very sweet. they both stay up the night before the wedding in the library, keeping close together as midnight approaches. belle rubs her fingers soothingly against eve’s head and intermittently finger-combs her hair, and eve absent-mindedly runs her hand in circles over belle’s back as they talk quietly about tomorrow. 

9) Reactions to their wedding attire

ok so how i picture it is that since neither of them have people to give them away (léon and cogsworth offered their services, but both women declined), they mirror the ballroom scene so their first glimpses of each other are as they go down the stairs to the landing before descending to the ballroom proper. both of them almost stop in their tracks because of how BEAUTIFUL and RADIANT and HAPPY the other looks to be marrying HER. eve cries two tiny tears before she even reaches the landing. 

10) Who whispers the other “you look great”

belle to eve. they’re holding hands as they walk towards the servants, lefou and stanley, wait why are those two there what plot points will they be relevant to and léon

11) How are they feeling during vows

nervous as all fuck. jittery. excited. overjoyed. eve actually does start to cry during her vows. belle doesn’t, but she gets very, very close. 

12) What do their rings look like?

simple, thin gold bands. they wear them on their right hands. 

13) The kiss

the vows are exchanged. the rings placed. cogsworth looks at eve, whom he’s known and loved for the best part of a decade. ‘and now, by the power invested in me by the princess of this realm, i declared you to be married. you may now kiss the bride.’

belle smiles so wide that it hurts her cheeks, and she and eve take a step forwards at the same time. eve sweeps her into the kiss, one hand resting on her waist while the other cups belle’s neck. belle rests her own hand on the plane of eve’s back, allowing her other hand to brush eve’s shoulder as she kisses her wife. and for a moment in that kiss, it’s like their first up on the balcony – uncertain and desperately tender. eve breaks to take a breath, and belle pulls her back in for another kiss, their lips moving gently as the gathered congregation cheers. because they kissed. because they’re married. because eve is her wife.

14) What do they whisper to each other after vows?

nothing. they just look at each other. they’ve already said everything. 

15) When cutting their cake, and afterwards

the wedding breakfast is basically a garden party in the grounds with the staff and aforementioned guests. there is enough food and cake and drinks for everyone, and as the afternoon fades into the evening the mood goes from bright and joyous to quietly happy, but in that way where the amount of emotion present is the same it’s just expressed differently if that makes any kind of sense. both brides make speeches, and both begin their speech with ‘on behalf of my wife and i …’ (they had to make lumiere flip a coin bc they both wanted to go first but didn’t want to take the chance away from the other and it was halfway to becoming one of those stupid fights that in a sitcom would be the episode one cliffhanger of the wedding two-parter, but luckily lumiere was in possession of the throuple’s two brain cells that morning so he managed to de-escalate the situation.) belle went first, but the line got the obligatory cheer from the guests both times. 

16) The two dancing together

chapeau (or a Chapeau-Adjacent Character bc atm i can’t remember if i wrote him in or not) starts playing the fiddle, and the wives take their place on the ballroom floor (the reception has moved back inside by now). think home (reprise), the high note then gently glissandos down to the beginning of beauty and the beast. (can you glissando on a violin? idk. maybe it’s just a piano thing but you know what i’m trying to get across here)

they dance the steps that they first performed while eve was still a bird, and then eventually devolve into a gentle waltz. 

after the first dance, it’s country dances for all!! poor chapeau has his work cut out for him, but léon can play and stanley brought his accordion so by the end of the night everybody who has to play gets to dance to at least three songs. 

17) Who takes a picture of the other

not applicable! HOWEVER plumette takes quick sketches throughout the day, and in later years belle and eve have official portraits taken in their wedding dresses on repeat wears, so between one and the other they have plenty of memories.

18) Who lifts the other up (bridal style)

eve sweeps belle off her feet (again) (it’s something of a recurring motif for them)

19) The reaction of the person being carried

belle laughs, shrieking a little because she was caught off-guard. she presses small kisses to eve’s cheek and neck until her arms give out and she has to put belle down again. 

20) Wedding night

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

no, no, no, i’ll be genuine (and mildly explicit). they leave (eventually). chip fell asleep about an hour ago. the night is (fairly) young. they go up to the west wing together. eve can’t stop grinning. she has a wife. 

once safely in the west wing, they help each other out of the fine materials of their dresses and remove their stays, but otherwise stay pretty much fully dressed. they pile up on eve’s bed, in a similar position to how they were in the library the night before; belle is lying directly on the pillows, while eve is resting with her head on belle’s shoulder and their legs intertwined. before long, of course, they start kissing. and they clutch at each other, pressing so close they can feel their heartbeats through the layers of muscle and bone and fabric. and eve takes a very long time to roll belle’s stockings down her legs, kissing each inch as it appears. and then she kisses several other areas of her wife’s body (and belle can barely look at her as she does it, but the sight of that blonde head between her legs causes her to dig her fingers into eve’s hair, and that was a rather interesting discovery for both of them). and then belle, after a moment to catch her breath, pushes eve over to her back and pulls off her chemise. and she is just as slow as eve was, tracing her hands over eve’s body, and when she does finally push eve’s chemise away to press her lips to naked skin, the look in eve’s eyes is one she never forgets.

and then, after a long while, eve says, ‘we’re married. you’re my wife.’

‘and you’re my wife,’ belle says just as quietly. she presses a kiss to the top of eve’s forehead. 

‘i never thought this would happen,’ she says. ‘not even before the curse. i thought i would be like my mother, and that the most i could hope for was either to have a husband who would be kinder or to live as an old maid.’

belle wraps her arm around eve’s shoulders a little tighter, as if she wants to protect the girl of eighteen whom she never even met. knowing belle, eve thinks, that’s probably the case. 

‘i’m so glad i met you, eve,’ she says. ‘i never thought this kind of love could be possible. i’m beyond overjoyed that it’s with you.’

she cards her fingers through eve’s hair, the glint of her ring catching in the moonlight. a few minutes later, eve rearranges their positions, so that they’re both covered by the warm blankets and she’s pressed into belle’s back, her arms draped around her. their hands find each other under the covers, and they fall asleep peacefully on their first day of married life.

[monotype-on-phantom]

The Woman of Many Faces

This was actually one of the harder analyses for me to start, because with Maddie, I’m not sure where to start. She seems to be a simple woman who reacts to each situation as it comes to her, but the fact is, Maddie’s demeanor completely changes depending on what role she’s playing. There’s mother Maddie, wife Maddie, scientist Maddie, ghost hunter Maddie, and even each of those can be different depending on what situation she’s dealing with.

When you also consider that each of these roles are equally important to her, how am I supposed to decide where to start talking about her first? I’m still not entirely sure, but I’m gonna give it a shot. Hopefully this won’t end up as too much of a mess.

The best I can gather is that Maddie is an adaptable woman who adjusts herself to each new situation as it comes to her. In their college days, Jack’s the only one sporting a jumpsuit (the very same jumpsuit he always wears, in fact), while Maddie’s wearing a lab goat over what are probably some stylish clothes (given her hair and earrings.)

With the way she’s eying Jack in both versions of this scene, I think it might be safe to say the passion for ghost hunting came with her feelings for Jack. He might be goofy, eccentric, and seem insane to a lot of people, but for whatever reason, Maddie is absolutely smitten with him.

Look at that face. Over 20 years they’ve known each other, over 18 years they’ve been married, and kisses from him can still easily pull that dazzled look from her, even with syrup dripping from his pocket.

I think that, most likely, they met in college. Jack was that weird guy who believed in ghosts, and Maddie was likely pursuing science in another field (her talents make it unlikely that wasn’t something that always interested her). When they met, he somehow managed to pull her into his passion with him, and even though neither of them ever see a ghost until at least 20 years later, she throws herself whole-heartedly into it.

She takes to wearing her jumpsuit at all times, building ghost-hunting equipment on a daily basis, proudly talks about her field to anyone, either learns to fight or repurposes her fighting skills to deal with fighting ghosts, and gets as trigger happy as Jack (shooting at anything that she thinks could even possibly be a ghost.)

Maddie’s just a passionate and optimistic woman, similar to Jack in a lot of ways despite the fact that everyone views her as smarter and more competent. When she dedicates herself to something, she never goes halfway. And I think we can quite easily see that extends to when she became a mother.

The Fentons can be neglectful, but for as much attention as their work takes, it was important enough for them to stay with their kids that they built their lab and op-center right into the house. Both she and Jack wanted to be near their kids as they grew up and still be able to do their work. They build things at the breakfast table so they can see their kids off to school, and if they notice their children are feeling neglected, they try to make time for just them.

While we don’t see Maddie bonding with Jazz as much, we see on multiple occasions that she adores Danny. He is her baby, 14 or not. She calls him sweetie in public, gives him kisses, dotes on him, makes him bagged lunches when she’s at his school, and sees him as, and I quote, “the cutest, sweetest son in the world.”

For all that she gets distracted, she does notice that Danny’s changed a lot lately, and while she might not really understand why, it breaks her heart that they aren’t as close as they used to be. He used to be able to tell her anything and share everything with her. When he was little, she probably knew him better than anyone. There’s no way Jack was the one who took Danny to space camp or helped him get his Junior Astronaut certificate.

While I do love Jack, he’s pretty much convinced himself that his kids are going to take up the family business when they grow up. Maddie pushes this a lot less, and is likely the one who supports the kids in the passions and interests they have. And with how much space stuff Danny has (including his own telescope), Maddie was probably the one he used to ramble to all the time.

So when she feels him drifting away, she starts missing those times when he was her little mama’s boy.

The entirety of Maternal Instinct happens because Maddie wants so badly to bond with Danny again that she doesn’t stop to question things or look into this “DALV” corporation. She just instantly jumps to pack her bags and starts shaking with excitement.

Anyone who says being a ghost hunter comes first for Maddie should watch this episode again. She’s a nut, yes. She can carry machetes and all kinds of ghost hunting equipment on her, but doesn’t even think to bring a cell phone. That would be silly. However, in spite of that, ghost hunting Maddie takes a vacation so she can be full time mother Maddie this weekend, the only exception being when Danny’s in danger (then she whoops some ghost butt, but she’s not going to chase after them because she needs to keep her baby safe).

Maddie’s greatest shortcoming as a mother is that she doesn’t often think she has to choose between being a ghost hunter and a mother. She thinks she can be both quite easily, and she’s not the type to question her own judgment. She knows there are things more important than ghost hunting (as she tells Jack), but that doesn’t mean she can’t get too absorbed in her work.

As I mentioned in the past, she also has a problem with letting her biases and emotions cloud her judgment. This extends to her view of ghosts, her view of her family, and even her view of herself. She’s intelligent, yes, but she can be easily fooled because of those views and the fact that she sees herself as the logical one (between her and Jack). Even in obviously suspicious situations like the DALV invitation, she never second guesses herself.

These flaws result in her unknowingly pointing her weapons at her own child almost daily. Maddie might realize she needs to put aside being a ghost hunter sometimes to spend time with her kids, but it’s never going to be that big of a deal. All ghosts are evil, so by shooting at them, she’s clearly keeping her children safe. There’s no way their work could put her kids in any real danger. Clearly their inventions that are keying into Danny must just be malfunctioning. “Everyone knows humans can’t have ghost powers.”

Even with the evidence constantly piling up in several ways, Maddie’s beliefs are so ingrained in her that she doesn’t even realize she’s making excuses, and because she so rarely realizes she needs to take a second look at things, she accepts those excuses without question and moves on. No matter what evidence is thrown at her, she sticks to her guns until something she absolutely cannot deny smacks her in the face. (Like Danny transforming on live television. That’ll do it.)

These flaws are far more dangerous than she realizes, and when you combine that with Danny’s fear of his parents finding out what he is, this could’ve gone some very dark places. While she loves her kids and probably believes they know that, she’s obviously not convinced Danny that she’ll love and accept him no matter what. Even though he’s constantly being shot at, he thinks her knowing he’s half-ghost would be even more dangerous. And since Maddie won’t put the pieces together on her own, she could’ve unknowingly seriously harmed or even killed her child.

She’d never forgive herself if she did. In fact, I think she’d be crushed by the guilt of not only hurting him, but being so blind to the signs and what her kids tried to tell her, and being so ruthless and naive in work. She never considered ghosts being friendly even possible. She never thought humans could have ghost powers. She thought she knew exactly what she was doing, but she had no idea.

That said, it’s important to acknowledge what Maddie does every time she does find out. Maddie loves and accepts him instantly. She’s so proud of him for all he’s doing. She doesn’t even bring up the things that had convinced her Danny Phantom was evil, such as the stealing, attacking the mayor, or anything else. She understands immediately that she didn’t understand. There are clearly many things she was wrong about, but she loves her son unconditionally, and he needs to know that now. She might’ve failed to show him before, but she’s not making that mistake again. She can listen to whatever explanations he wants to give later.

This strayed a bit from where this post started out, but I do think all of this is important to understanding who Maddie is. She and Jack are both criticized a lot, and not without reason. They do make some serious mistakes over the course of the series. I still can’t bring myself to see them as anything other than good people, though. They love their kids, they love each other, and they always try to do what they believe is best, especially for their kids. Especially Maddie.

They just have a lot of growing to do, but that’s what character development is for.

And I’ll get to that at the end of season 2.

[foundcarcosa]

cxcvi.

Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? >> If you’re thinking about reading this, I’d consider passing unless you’re ridiculously fascinated by my every word or something -- it’s extremely long. Anyway, I actually closed it by accident, because I didn’t compensate for the change in air pressure when I swung it behind me.

Stripes or polka dots? >> I prefer stripes.

Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? >> I do care. I’d prefer not to be touched. Exceptions exist, but they’re so few and so specific that it’s easier to just start from “don’t touch me” as a rule and then write in the amendments as they become relevant.

What is your gender? >> I don’t have one. Except for Sparrow’s interpretation of my gender, which is “a .gif of a twerking spider”. It’s acceptable.

Do you think that people think its obvious? >> I think that my lack of fucks given re: gender is plenty obvious by my appearance, but at the same time, it’s probably better in general if people don’t assume.

How long did your first date last? >> I don’t remember. It was almost 12 years ago.

Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? >> I don’t have a favourite colour.

Highlight of your day? >> The high point of today was getting to three-quarters done with WoW’s Loremaster of Draenor achievement. Spires of Arak was a pain in the ass.

Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? >> That would probably depend on the length of the voyage and where to. I do love flying, though.

Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? >> Whether I can tell if someone has eyeliner on or not depends on how closely I’m looking at their face and also how much I care.

Can you cook? >> I can.

How high is your ceiling? >> I don’t know.

Whats the worst job you can think of? >> The worst job for me would be janitorial work, especially if bathrooms are involved.

Do you swear a lot? >> I do.

Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? >> Yes.

Is everything working in your house? >> More or less, I assume.

Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? >> I’d rather have a trampoline, as I’m more likely to use that than a pool (seeing as I can’t swim and find the rituals surrounding pool usage -- the showering, the drying, the changing of clothing, the uncomfortable sensory bits -- to be overwhelming most of the time.

Does pop give you energy? >> Not that I’ve noticed.

TV show you love with a passion? >> Metalocalypse is one. So is Vikings. And Person of Interest. And Hannibal. And Tremé. And Carnivale. And...

Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? >> There are no such things in my life. Perfect age to get married? >> The age you feel like doing so. Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? >> It’s not safe to say that. I own two.

Name a career path that women are known for taking. >> I’m not confident enough in the veracity of any demographic-based statistical data to answer this.

Favorite type of cookie? >> Thin Mints are the only cookies I can eat more than one of in a sitting.

A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? >> I don’t look for specific qualities, I look for well-crafted and intricate and intriguing tapestries -- and then I mine the details.

What would I find if I looked in your pocket? >> A lip balm.

What was your first word? >> I don’t know.

A musical instrument you wouldn’t mind learning how to play? >> I’m fine with not knowing how to play one. Singing is more my thing. And rhythm-based music games. :p

Last time you went to 7-eleven? >> I don’t remember. I was probably in New York.

A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? >> None.

Does everyone in your family have a job? >> I don’t even know everyone in my family, let alone their employment status.

Going anywhere this weekend? >> Not that I know of / can recall.

Is your room ever clean? >> The bedroom is generally some level of clean. More cluttered than I’d like, but that’s because I’m inclined to minimal possessions and Sparrow is not.

What does it mean when youre being quiet? >> It means I don’t feel like being loud. Which is usually.

Last person you had a face to face conversation with? >> Sparrow.

Wheres your phone? >> On the bed beside me.

Do you know the difference between your and you’re? >> Yes. I don’t find it worth arguing about, though.

How late did you stay up last night? >> I went to sleep sometime around 1a EST, I think.

Anyone you’re ready to kill? >> I’m ready to kill whatever mobs I need to kill to continue grinding out these achievements.

Do you need to get a tan? >> No. I certainly wouldn’t complain about getting a shade or three darker, but I don’t think I spend enough time in the sun for it to happen regardless.

What do you want? >> A slight decrease in humidity. A stone-and-glass shower that could feasibly fit a dozen people comfortably. A giant Snorlax plushie. Her.

Favorite TV show as a kid? >> I don’t think I had one. Whats a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? >> Sherlock.

How many times have you been in love? >> I don’t know.

Go camping or go to a party? >> Partying while camping is a lot of fun.

Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? >> Yes. I started in earnest when I left my dad’s, because I wasn’t allowed to swear while I lived with him. So, 17.

How many years older than you would you date someone? >> My general guideline is no more than 10 years older than me.

What was the last thing you pinky swore on? >> I don’t.

Would you consider yourself a nice person? >> I don’t consider myself a nice person. I don’t want to be a “nice” person. I want the adjectives that describe me to be more... detailed. Less fake-sounding.

Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? >> There are three.

Has there ever been a serial killer in your house? >> As far as I know, no. Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? >> No.

True or false: Glee is annoying. >> I don’t know, I’ve never watched it.

Last thing you cooked? >> Half of a bag of frozen potatoes and onions and peppers.

Do you use slang often? >> Sure.

Wear glasses? >> Sunglasses, and sometimes clear lenses for aesthetic. About how old was the last person that hit on you? >> I don’t remember the last time I was hit on.

What color are your headphones? >> One pair is black, the other blue.

Would you make a good teacher? Why? >> I don’t know. I’ve never really thought much about it, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be socially acceptable enough for any established educational system.

Don’t you hate those commercials that try too hard? >> No. I don’t understand a lot of them, or what their target demographic is, or what the hook is supposed to be, but I accept them as a quirk of modern society.

Is the fan on? >> Yes.

Any special reason why you’re taking this survey? >> No special reason. I was in the mood to take one and I found this in the tag.

What does the last text message you sent say? >> I don’t remember and don’t feel like finding out. Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? >> In this highly improbable situation, I have no real problem picking up a pregnancy test for someone... as long as I have a good reason to. I’d be more interested in why they couldn’t go get it themselves.

Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site? >> Except for the very rare times I’m on a public device or someone else’s device, no.

What color are your underwear? >> Black.

How short are your nails? >> They’re about a centimeter extended past my fingertips.

Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? >> I’m too lazy to manipulate this question into one remotely answerable by me.

Favorite holiday? >> Christmas.

If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? >> Yes. I remember Ohio’s shape.

Youre locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? >> How many spiders? How big are they? Are they venomous? Also, why am I locked in a room at all?

Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? >> I think my most expensive item of clothing is either my winter coat (which I only wear in... winter... so no, not often) or my Tripp coat (which is too small for me, so now I don’t wear it at all until I can figure out how to repurpose it).

Do you eat a lot of food? >> I eat as I’m compelled to. /shrug Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? >> I was an adult when I started having those kinds of relationships, so there is no way he could exert control over them.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? >> Yes.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? >> I don’t know how good I’d be at understanding driving directions, seeing as I don’t drive. I understand most directions pretty well, if multiple frames of reference are given (compass directions and landmarks as backup, for example).

How many people do you text daily? >> Zero, usually, unless Sparrow texts me something.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? >> No.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? >> No.

What did you do on your last birthday? >> On my actual birthday, I didn’t do anything. My birthday trip was at the beginning of that month.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? >> I don’t know.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? >> No.

What is your least favorite subject in school? >> All of them.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? >> No. My father won custody of me pretty easily when I was a baby, considering my mother didn’t even show up to court.

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s face? >> No.

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? >> Earlier today. I watched the Leeroy Jenkins video.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? >> No. When was the last time you held someone’s hand? >> I don’t remember.

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? >> I don’t eat meals, I just eat when I’m hungry. I ate on about four separate occasions today, but not much.

Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” >> No.

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? >> It’s reliable for what I use it for.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? >> Yes. I thought it had some cool things.

Do you care about spending money if it’s someone else’s money? >> I respect people’s financial limits, especially if they’re clearly defined (”ok I only have 20 to spend so”), but I don’t make a big deal out of trying to order the cheapest thing on the menu. I order what I want, and if they don’t want to buy whatever it is, then I’ll pick something else. --Or pay for it myself.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? >> Lilo and Stitch.

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? >> No. I didn’t really have a context for that.

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? >> I’d rather hardwood everywhere except the bedroom, I think. I just find it so much easier to keep clean, and also... I can just put rugs down if I want soft. (Rugs are also easier to clean for me, because they can be taken outdoors and beaten and aired out.)

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? >> I don’t remember.

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? >> Day camp, sometimes. And church camp once, when I was 13.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? >> Yes, once. Wouldn’t mind doing it again.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? >> No.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? >> I don’t know.

Who was the last person to compliment you? >> I think that was Krister, on Instagram sometime in the past week or two.

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? >> I was 18.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? >> My father was overprotective and strict.

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? >> No.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? >> No.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? >> Yes. I especially like to watch them on the bathroom TV at the in-laws’ house when I use their shower.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? >> A couple of soft tacos and/or a quesadilla or something. Nothing too extravagant.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? >> In general, yes, but now there is a finish line in sight.

Have you ever felt like someone was following you? >> Yes. Do you like short or long surveys the best? >> I like the 30-50 question range best. Any longer than that, and questions start to weaken and get repetitive. Case in point: this survey, which has asked me about instruments three times already.

Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? >> No. That doesn’t strike me as an intelligent move.

Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? >> ---

Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? >> No. I often get excited, though.

How often do you shower? >> Two to three times a week.

Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? >> I don’t recall ever doing that.

How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? >> Zero.

Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? >> I don’t think I have a context for that kind of opinion.

Do you ever watch any soap operas? >> No.

Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? >> Well, probably.

Do you think long surveys are boring or entertaining? >> If the questions manage to remain interesting, as I said before, then I’m fine with them. This one is pushing my patience.

What color is your significant other’s hair? >> It’s usually purple or red or some shade in between the two.

Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? >> Probably at some point.

Would you ever become a foster parent? >> I’d rather become an adoptive parent. I prefer the long-term investment model of parenting; the short-term investment model does not appeal to me.

Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? >> No, but a couple of them ought to be ashamed of themselves, probably.

When you get married, will you convert your last name? >> Yes. Provided Sparrow does what I think she should do, and change hers before the legal proceedings. Otherwise it just won’t make as much narrative sense, god dammit.

Are your parents divorced, married or separated? >> My parents were never married.

Has someone ever left a relationship with you for someone else? >> Probably. I never paid too much attention to that.

What’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced? >> Superlatives and me don’t get along.

When was the last time you went shoe shopping? >> It’s been a while. I can never find shoes I want to wear.

When was the last time you cried? For what reason? >> I don’t remember.

What is your favorite shop to go to at the mall? >> Hot Topic, Barnes and Noble.

Would you ever consider becoming a marine biologist? >> No.

Did you carry a lunchbox as a child? >> I did. I was raised vegan and sugar-free so I had to take packed lunches.

What is your favorite ‘sweet’ to eat? >> Sea salt brownies are pretty good.

Are you someone who usually eats when you’re bored? >> Sometimes.

Have you ever eaten your way through a breakup? >> No.

Who was the last person you texted? >> Sparrow, most likely.

Do you usually buy popcorn when you eat at the movie theater? >> No. I don’t really like popcorn in the first place, but especially not for those prices.

Did you sleep alone or with someone last night? >> Alone until Sparrow went to bed. We have Venn-diagram sleep schedules.

What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? >> Balsamic vinaigrette, or Italian in a pinch.

Are you someone who constantly likes to wear hats? >> No. I like my floppy hat, but that’s it. And that’s just for winter, when my short hair can’t protect my head from the elements.

Have you ever seen a Lifetime movie that relates to your life? >> No.

Is it your summer vacation right now? >> I don’t have vacations.

Do you like traveling? >> Yes.

What color are the walls of the room you’re in right now? >> White. Do you go to church regularly? >> I did for a few months, but I don’t think it’s something I could keep up for long. Dragging myself out of bed in the morning just to go get frustrated at Christianity can sometimes be fun, but mostly I’m too lazy.

Who’s your best friend? >> I suppose that is Can Calah.

Are you determined? >> Determined to do what, exactly? My personality traits are dependent on the circumstance. Are you always looking for/in a relationship, or do you like being single? >> I have been in at least one relationship for the past five years, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.

Ever had your heart broken? >> I’ve felt like that, yeah.

Even broken someone else’s heart? >> I don’t know. No one’s ever told me that, to my recollection, so I assume not.

Are you confident? >> I don’t know. Probably. It’s not something I put a lot of mental energy into. It strikes me as a largely unimportant trait to focus on at this time in my life.

When’s the last time you smiled? >> I don’t remember. I also don’t really... keep track, ya dig.

Are you tan? >> I am dark-skinned. Any big plans for today/tonight? >> No.

What’s the background on your computer? >> It’s a slideshow. Right now, it’s some cool space art I probably found here on tumblr.

Do you have days where you just want to listen to sad songs? >> Not whole days, usually. Periods of time in general, though? Certainly.

Who’s the last person you kissed? >> Sparrow.

Are you hoping they will also be the next person you kiss? >> I mean, at this point it’s kind of assumed.

[real6lacktony]

Version:1.0 StartHTML:000000244 EndHTML:000080888 StartFragment:000051367 EndFragment:000080832 StartSelection:000051598 EndSelection:000080797 SourceURL:https://www.ssense.com/en-za/editorial/fashion/triple-s-to-xxx-the-data-of-desire Triple S To XXX: the Data of Desire | SSENSE                          

English

login

wishlist

shopping bag (0)

Français

日本語

(0)

Triple S To XXX: the Data of Desire

SSENSE and Pornhub Partner To Examine the Relationship Between Fashion and Human Sexuality

Text: merritt k

“Sex is worth dying for,” once quipped Foucault, as he mused that the most important form of modern political leverage is control over our reproductive functions. Could he have predicted today’s digitally-fuelled brave new world, for which there exists a porn video for any given sexual whim, no matter how eccentric? Perhaps porn sites wield far more cultural influence than we give them credit for.

We partner with Pornhub Insights to examine the data of desire, at what reveals itself at the intersection of fashion and pornography. Here, we turn our attention to the sneaker. Equipped with data surrounding sneaker-related porn consumption, writer merritt k considers its broader implications and connection to the fashion industry.

In the late 2000s, a group of Canadian men repeatedly lined up days in advance for the releases of high-end consumer electronics—iPods, gaming consoles, and so on. Purchasing these products using funds they'd raised online, they would then remove the items from their packaging and dash them to the ground in front of the rest of the line of consumers. Wails of despair and anger could often be heard from the crowds, intermixed with pleas that they just give the expensive item to someone in line rather than trash it.

Was this a kind of psychic revolt against consumerism? A voyeuristic spectacle? A cheap stunt for attention by bored young men with no underlying political content?

The answer seems to be, "yes." Plus, it was probably pretty fun.

The image of a desirable gadget reduced to fragments of plastic, circuitry, and metal is a complicated one, embodying waste, excess, amusement, and denial, among other things. Like all wreckage, it captures the eye. But I'd like to ask you to shift your gaze away from the wreck, to pan ever so slightly to the line of young men waiting for their own chance to purchase one for themselves. Check out their feet. What are they wearing? More than likely, sneakers—a form of apparel fraught with a complex history, whether slipped on a foot, sitting in a box, or, echoing the image of the ruined electronics, dripping with cum.

The line between sneaker culture and sneaker fetishism, then, isn’t always clear.

Yes, people jack off in, on, and around sneakers. It's a thing. Data from Pornhub shows sneakers coming in at number 993 in overall searches on the site. That might seem low, but consider that these queries include studios, performer names, specific acts, and so on. This means that people search for sneakers thousands of times a day. Of all apparel-related porn searches, items relating to feet such as boots, socks, and, of course, sneakers occupy 20% of the top twenty list on Pornhub.

Why are people into sneaker porn? We could start to answer this question by discussing the role of feet in broader trampling and worship fetishes, how they're an abject part of the body culturally coded as filthy and thus available to use in fantasies of degradation and submission. And, I mean, it's 2018—feet are mainstream now, just search "and she got feet" on Twitter.

But we're not just talking about feet here—we're talking about what's on them. And the meanings associated with, say, stiletto boots are very different from those associated with knee socks, which are different still from those associated with the humble sneaker. And to understand the appeal of sneakers specifically, we need to talk about the history of footwear.

Featured In This Image: Vetements sneakers.

While casual wear ascended to popularity amongst men and women in the latter half of the 20th century, the sneaker qua sneaker has become an object tied to male athletic performance, wealth, and prestige. Similar to how the combat or work boot is an erotic symbol of authority, power, and rugged masculinity, the sneaker is associated with masculine personas like the skater, the sports star, and the rapper. And since the explosive rise of the sneaker in the 80s and 90s, the shoe has arguably become the male equivalent of the high heel in terms of status, price, and desirability.

Like a pair of Louboutins, high-end sneakers are meant to be collected, seen, and adored. Some of the most expensive, sought-after sneakers are rarely worn and in this sense are no more functional than $700 stilettos. Unless you're wealthy enough to rarely be on your feet and to have backup pairs available when they inevitably get scuffed, they'll likely spend most of their time in a box.

Sneakers, then, straddle the line between the practical combat boot and the ornamental pump. In this sense they’ve shifted away from the image of the physically dynamic wearer they began with, now occupying more ambiguous ground. And they're footwear with a charged history, culminating in the early 1990s panics around “sneaker killings,” which often conspicuously targeted prominent black celebrities like Michael Jordan and Spike Lee for their purported role in instigating violence over sought-after brands.

So it would seem wrong, to assume that sneaker porn is a straightforwardly masculine fetish and leave it at that—to do so would be to ignore the strata of meanings heaped upon by sneakers over the past several decades. And these meanings are always being excavated and reappropriated by subcultural elements in much the same way as historical accoutrements of torture and slavery have been taken up by queer sadomasochism.

Of course, in attending to the symbolic we shouldn't completely eschew the physical. The complex tactile pleasures of leather have been well-documented by theorists of sadomasochism and those pleasures are at play with sneakers as well. It's easy enough to recognize the visual beauty of footwear, which after all is the primary criteria of value in high-end and celebrity-branded sneakers. But to touch the soft leather, the careful stitching, to slide one's foot into a plush enclosure reveals another kind of beauty. So why should it be any surprise that people find pleasure in touching, rubbing, smelling, licking, and even fucking them? As one self-described sneaker fetishist puts it, "It feels pretty good, especially if the sneakers are more narrow like Shox, adidas Racers, or Puma Speedcats.”

This kind of physical intimacy with sneakers brings the body back into contact with a piece of apparel that's increasingly divorced from its original function. Huffing, caressing, and fucking sneakers, using them to trample another person, or even simply fucking someone while wearing them is a physical act, albeit one that runs counter to the designed function of the shoes. These practices are the mirror of the unworn sneaker collection: dedicated in their adoration yet expressing that adoration through physical means.

But even this may be overstating the division between fetishist and fan. When a sneakerhead pulls his shoes out of their box and delicately fondles them, inhales their scent, or shows them off, the difference between his actions and those appearing in sneaker porn seem more of degree rather than of kind. The line between sneaker culture and sneaker fetishism, then, isn’t always clear.

And the use of sneakers as an easy reference to a whole set of identities (erotic and otherwise) isn't limited to porn, either. Fashion always wants us to aspire to something better, different, or richer—the whole purpose of mass market advertising is to inspire associations with products. But these associations aren't always handed down from above, and sometimes consumers repurpose them in ways that run counter to the expectations and desires of fashion brands—see for instance the early 2000s "chav" adoption of Burberry’s iconic beige check pattern. Could sneaker companies, then, try to get porn featuring their footwear taken offline? It's possible, but it seems unlikely—not to mention a little late.

Featured In This Image: Raf Simons sneakers.

Featured In This Image: Balenciaga sneakers.

If any brand did pursue a takedown of sneaker porn featuring their products, it would likely be in an effort to protect their image against "unfriendly" associations. (Remember when the games company Blizzard asked people to stop drawing pornography of their characters?) But to do so would be to expose an anxiety at the heart of this moment in capitalism and especially with regards to luxury products: that we are all in love, we just express it differently. Not many of us masturbate on our shoes or phones, but most of us touch them and keep them close on a daily basis. Yet the Fight Club-esque analysis that "your things come to own you" falls a little flat for me, because there is indeed something pleasurable about our relations with the designed world.

In post-industrial societies, no gesture, no pose, no desire exists outside or before the base framework of capitalist exchange. As Sonic the Hedgehog tells us, there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. At the same time, consumption is a complex process that involves symbolic values, social influences, and often erotic desires, all enmeshed within production networks based on exploitation and enrichment of affluent countries and corporations at the expense of the rest of the world.

In a sense, then, sneaker porn but is the logic of object love taken to its extreme. But in another, pushing past "normal", acceptable levels of interest in everyday objects to reach explicit sexual fascination (the classic definition of a fetish) creates the potential for rupture. Taking love to the point that it manifests in destruction—smearing shoes in saliva and cum or scuffing them up on some else's back—isn't simply a form of nihilism, a simplistic consumerist romance, or an expression of violent masculine sexuality. It's a complicated gesture that reveals the erotic constructions of identities under capitalism.

This article is a collaboration with Pornhub. For the full analysis with more detailed data visualizations, and more details on the data behind the story, please visit the Pornhub Insights version of this story.

merritt k is a writer and podcaster. Her writing has appeared in Real Life Mag, MEL Magazine and Kotaku amongst other publications.

Text: merritt k

Director: Nik Mirus / L’ÉLOI, Caravane

艺术指导: Francis Dakin-Coté / Caravane, Jean-Constant Guigue / L’ÉLOI

Post-Production: Francis Dakin-Coté / Caravane, Jean-Constant Guigue / L’ÉLOI

Composer: Loïc Ouaret

Production: Karyne Bond / L’ÉLOI