#either that or they DO know i exist so they end up acting like my babysitter/aunt/whatever so we're never equals and it's uncomfortable :/
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arolesbianism · 6 months ago
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Thinks abt comic Siffrin. This could be a playground I think. If I felt like it. If I so chose.
#rat rambles#stars posting#I do also just enjoy the concept of other siffrins that existed before loop as well#either just the one extra or potentially even more if you wanna get funky with it#Im leaning more towards the one option but the many option is more funny#idk I just think it'd be a bit fucked up if there was another siffrin who made a desperate wish and just got completely whiped for it#bonus points if that sifs version of things was quite drastically different than loop and current sifs versions were#like a whole different party than the other two#thatd be fun#I do enjoy myself some timeline fuckery that leads to disturbing implications and several layers of tragedy#I already have three stories with that as a major element so it was only a matter of time before I look at isat through the same lense#the lace loop meetup would go crazy (theyd probably hate eachother)#speaking of lace I dont think Ive actually been like. posting abt her story huh.#well just know that Ive been working on that story a lot along with a billion other projects that have been keeping me busy#isat is actually the reason Ive been working on lace's story again since the two have a decently large amount in common#still very different stories like fundimentally but timeloop that takes place near the end of an rpg esc adventure is present in both#although the timeloop that lace is in is no longer the main focus of the entire story#well it hasnt been in a long time but Ive been actually fleshing out what the story is actually act more recently#and I keep going back to isat to get back into a creative mood anytime I feel like Im stagnating too much#which brings us back to the actual point of this post. yay.#anyways I need to go to bed even if Im half tempted to try to write smth with my current 3rd sif idea
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godgavemenoname · 8 months ago
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as a younger alter i relate to claudia iwtv x_x'
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gay-dorito-dust · 8 months ago
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Hey I liked your writing on reader having to get in between Wolverine and Deadpool all the time 😆 it made me think what it would be like if they were crushing on you and there is a rivalry between them. If you could write what they’d do to win your favor or what shenanigans that would come with it 😂 subtle or not
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These two weren’t fond of sharing.
So when the other finds that they have similar feelings towards you, the outcome is never good.
They’re childish in a way where if either Logan or Wade was coincidentally standing too close to you, the other was bound to notice and make a scene out of it, all the while you wished you were anywhere else in that moment.
The pair couldn’t get along even if they bothered to try as sooner or later they’d end up stabbing each other just because the other one was breathing too loudly or just merely existing.
And yet their feelings towards you ends up causing Logan and Wade to butt heads more often, especially if you were constantly teaming up together, with you often being their meditator in all their conflicts.
Wade was more vocal and borderline flirty when it came to interacting with you, he would crack jokes, boop you on the nose or even playfully smack you on the ass just to hear your yelp in surprise and become all flustered.
‘Plush ass you’ve got there, babe! wouldn’t mind laying my head on it sometime and use it as a beautiful fluffy pillow.’ - Wade, skipping away.
Wade could be quite clingy at times so there would be moments where you can barely escape the guy as he hanging on your side like a koala bear.
You: Wade can you let go.
Wade: and let go of my emotional support person? *gasp* Do you want me to die?
You: well considering how fast you regenerate, you technically can’t die-
Wade: do you hate me? Do you think I’m clingy?
You: no- well yes but-
Wade: you hate me!
Wade can be dramatic and the only way to shut him up is to just let him be in close proximity of you and allow him to talk your ear off about how good a dog parents you’d be to Dogpool.
Dogpool is your weakness, you could never say no to Dogpool and Wade knows this like the back of his hand and will use this as leverage over wolverine.
After all It’s not like he has a version of himself that was an actual wolverine or maybe even a honey badger in yellow spandex. So Wade counts this as a win on his end.
Logan on the other hand would be more subtle with his approach, even though to Wade, Logan’s subtly was as an dopey cow standing in a field of grass with how the scruffier man tended to keep by your side protectively; so much so that he might as well start growling at every person who ever laid eyes on you in general.
He’s a guard dog of a man in every sense of the word but how that came to be was from a whole lot of trauma and loosing people he’s ever cared about, so needless to say he won’t act like he’s interested in you at first, his heart had been wounded about as much as his body has and even had the mental scars to prove it.
He’s lived a long life of pain, fighting, suffering and heartache. He’s not going to falter so easily until you did something that made him feel safe enough to fall for you.
Once he has however it was impossible to go about the mission without him always wanting to stand guard by your side when he sees someone he doesn’t fully trust, always using his body as a shield for your own as Logan knew he could handle much more punishment then you could. So he’d rather avoid you being grievously hurt by any means possible.
He’d probably scold you if you ever were hurt as he was afraid that he might loose you, yet his hands were gentle but firm as they worked to patch your wound so it’d heal properly.
Wolverine: you’re an idiot you know.
You: wow I really feel the love over here.
Wolverine: *huffs* you expect me to kiss your ass when what you did was reckless and could’ve killed you? *his hands linger on your own even long after he’s done patching you up as though committing your warmth to memory*
Logan is a secret softy who wouldn’t push you away if you were to ever fall asleep on him, he’d grumble but that’s about it.
He’d even toss you his jacket if you were to ever complain about being too cold or leave it somewhere for you to take yourself, again he’d act like he didn’t want you to but he actually did with how he almost smiled upon seeing you looking comfortable in his jacket.
Logan is evidently more subtle about his crush on you then Wade is, or so he’d likes to think but Wade can messily tell he’s smitten when he sees how Logan’s eyes were quick to follow you in a crowded room with protectiveness and adoration.
Wade: aww has our dear friend taken the stick out of your ass and you fell in love?
Logan: *growls* fuck off Wade.
Wade: *holds his hands to his lips and gasps* oh my gosh! You have! Me too!
Logan: *looks at him* you what?!
Wade: yeah cats out of the bag, I like them too wolvie. you’re not the only one to find them cute, how close minded of you seriously.
They can’t share to save their lives, I’ve mentioned this before but they genuinely can’t even if they tried because one is them was bound to get jealous and try to take you away from the other.
Wade: do you really want to be near me grumpy all the time? Yawn fest much.
You: stop riling him up, you’re making Logan mad. Why are you like this?
Wade: maybe because you deserve to be in the company of someone who isn’t still unhealthily hung up on his previous red headed lover.
Logan: you shut your fucking mouth.
Wade: see! He’s not denying it!
You: I’m going to go now. *leaves*
Logan: you should make full time fuck head your job.
Wade: and you should make full time teenage brooder in a full grown man’s body who still isn’t over his first breakup yours.
The shenanigans that would occur between these two would be headache inducing to say the least.
The constant fights that would break out between them that you’d have to break up.
The bickering over who gets to act like a couple with you on missions. They might even play rock, paper, scissors multiple times behind your back.
Wade probably tried to trip Logan up in front of you once but it backfired when Logan made Wade trip up instead as he puts a hand on your lower back and guided you away from the poor Merc with a mouthful of dirt.
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deepdarkdelights · 3 months ago
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Predator (Jungkook x Reader) Part II - Prey
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Pairing: Vampire Jungkook x Reader
Word Count: 5.2k
Series: Predator Universe
Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Vampire Jungkook, Obsession, Manipulation, Forced Relationships, Blood (So much of it), Fear (Copious amounts), Panic/Anxiety Attacks, Mind Games, Tormenting the MCs, Discussions about dead bodies, Jungkook and his unblinking stare, Self Injury (Non Mental Health Related), Forced Feeding, Isolation
I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals.
Preview: The worst part was that you never tried to run. Jungkook never tied you down to anything or bound your wrists or feet. He simply knew that you would never try. It would be idiotic for you to try and run, you knew he was a talented tracker - he would be able to find you within minutes of your escape. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from him, he would always be able to find you.
A/N: I am alive! This was entirely inspired by an ask that was sent to me so the entire reason this exists is because of the wonderful anons who have asked be about what has happened since the end of Predator and who have asked to see what a more lucid Jungkook would look like. I haven't had this much fun writing in such a long time. I'm sorry it's so short, I hope you can forgive me 💜
READ PART I - PREDATOR
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_______
It was dark and quiet, the only sound being the steady, slow, drip of water hitting the dusty floorboards and the harsh chatter of your teeth as they clashed together. 
You were freezing, your body trembling despite your best attempts to collect yourself. It was no use, no matter what you did you were never able to warm up anymore. You knew it wasn’t all that cold outside, but that didn’t really matter. Despite the chills that wracked your body there was a fine sheen of sweat that coated your skin.
You were unsure as to how much time had really passed since you had found yourself here. All of the days had begun to blend together like some horrible fever dream you simply couldn’t wake up from. The only constant in your life has become him. 
If you didn’t know any better, you would think he was trying to kill you. 
What was truly likely, was that this was a side effect of his treatment of you. It was very likely that he just didn’t know how to take care of a human. And despite your incessant pleading, he had told you that he would not kill you. So really, it was his own ineptitude that had you knocking on death’s door.
Your skin felt grimey, not entirely from lack of hygiene, but from the film of blood that coated your skin. It was all over you but it mostly dominated your cheeks, lips, throat, chest, and fingers. He was not violent when he claimed his feeds, but he was not necessarily gentle either. You hadn’t looked in a mirror for quite some time, but you were certain no amount of vampire blood would be able to seal your wounds with how often they were readily reopened.
This wasn’t a life, it was a slow and painful trek to the afterlife.
Your trembling increased as the front porch creaked, he was already back. Your head lolled backwards and hit the wall behind you in defeat. You couldn’t do this again, you couldn’t give him another part of yourself - this time you were certain that it would kill you. 
Every time he fed from you, there was a horrible, delightful, exhilarating rush that followed. Whatever it was that he was doing to you, it was forcing you to enjoy the very thing that was killing you. It was perverse. It was disgusting. It was addicting.
It was hard to hate him in the throes of ecstasy, there was this horrible thrill that came the second before his fangs pierced his limb of choice as you knew you would be rewarded with bliss in the moments that followed. It was easier to hate him when he wasn’t there, his lack of presence giving your mind the briefest of reprieves to remind yourself of the horrible situation you were truly in. 
The distance, however, didn’t seem to allow him the same clarity. If anything, it made him grow more needy, more irritated, and more clingy.
The door creaked open, and your time to yourself disappeared. Your body shook tenfold as his presence filled the room. He still looked the same as he did the first time you had come face to face with him. His clothes were worse for wear, even more blood stained and shredded than they had been before. There was a permanent coppery scent that surrounded him, the dried blood being the prime suspect. 
You were certain that you didn’t smell that much better. Although, to a vampire, you probably would smell all that more enticing.
His gaze was immediately drawn to you, your eyes locking with one another, bridging the fifteen foot gap between you. His eyes often fluctuated in vibrancy depending on how hungry he was. The days where they were near black were the most difficult for you, but today they were a bright crimson red. He had fed on someone, someone who luckily wasn’t you.
“Hello little mouse,” He greeted, his voice low and surprisingly soft, devoid of the almost manic tone you had been familiar with for the longest time. 
He began to close the distance between the two of you, his gait smooth as he approached you. The way he moved was unnaturally perfect, the silent power of a predator imbued in every muscle of his body.
He wordlessly dropped a bag in your lap as he sank down to the ground beside you, his wide, red, unblinking eyes staring at you, waiting for you to make a move. No matter how much time you have spent with him, his stare was still unnerving.
It took you longer than it should have to open it, your fingers trembling beyond your control. But Jungkook was patient, he has all of the time in the world to wait.
The scent of food hit your nose, your mouth watering and your stomach growling eagerly in response. From the color of his eyes and what he had brought you, you assumed he had decided to have his fill of a hiker instead of you. 
Jungkook didn’t know how to take care of a human, that much was obvious. He had, however, been keenly aware of how much blood he was draining from your body on a daily basis. You had become so weak, anything but sitting felt like a herculean task nowadays. And the lack of consistent meals was weighing heavy on your body.
You didn’t care that he was watching you eat, your mannerisms ravenous and most likely off putting. But you no longer complained when he took his fill of you, and for some reason he remained silent and returned that courtesy. 
You had noticed a shift in his behavior when that other vampire had found the two of you not that long ago. He knew Jungkook, from the way they spoke it appeared he knew him very well. This other vampire, despite how he appeared more human than Jungkook, frightened you just as much. You could tell from the curl of his smile to his confident gait that he was just as bad, if not worse, as Jungkook.
You had nearly fainted on the spot when he suggested the two of them share you, you were already tapped out as it was, Jungkook had fed on you that morning. The two of them, together, would kill you for sure.
To your surprise, Jungkook had not responded enthusiastically. He responded like an animal defending its territory - baring his fangs and growling in just barely contained rage. And that reaction had set off the other vampire and before you knew it they were a blur of limbs.
They moved so fast your human eyes could barely keep up with them. You were only able to focus when one of them threw the other giving you just enough time to watch them separate before they came back together again. The sound their bodies made when they clashed together was like thunder from what you could only assume was the pure force and strength they possessed. And, much like animals, they ripped and tore into one another with their teeth and nails.
By the time the two of them had finally separated for good, it was because of how much they had injured one another. The both of them were covered in wounds oozing black blood, some of which was their own, and some belonging to the other.
The other vampire, whom you had briefly heard Jungkook address as Hoseok, was tired but still enraged.
“Are you fucking serious? All of this for what, a pathetic little human?!” He yelled, his nostrils flaring in anger. “It’s food, Jungkook! I’m your brother!”
Your body flinched out of habit at the snarl that left Jungkook.
“With the rate that you’re going you’ll kill her anyways! Why does it even matter?!”
“She’s my human,” Jungkook replied, his voice low with warning.
“This isn’t even supposed to be about her! She’s nothing! Namjoon sent me to come and find you but you know what, I think I’ll let you deal with the consequences of your actions. It’s only a matter of time before he comes for you and when that happens, you're on your own!”
He disappeared quickly after that, it was like he was there one moment and then vanished the next. Once he was gone, Jungkook’s once sturdy stance softened, his shoulders bending forward from the strain of his own weight. He was hurt, badly.
He slowly turned to look at you, the red of his eyes and his dark mop of hair just visible over the curve of his shoulder. You knew that look, it usually didn’t end well for you. 
“No, no, no, Jungkook, please!” You whimpered, scrambling backwards.
But it was no use, he never listened to you anyways. He always took what he wanted, even when you had nothing left to give. 
He stumbled when he moved but he quickly regained his footing, his black blood stained hands grabbing you by the shins and pulling your retreating form towards him. You fought as hard as you could but you were already weak to begin with.
“Stop it, please!” You begged, but he didn’t listen. He wrapped his arms around you, his grip too tight and utterly uncomfortable. 
“Jungkook-”
“Shut up,” He grunted before yanking your head roughly to the side and sinking his teeth back into the scarred skin of your neck. The shriek that left you was borderline inhuman, the building scar tissue made the intrusion all the more painful and Jungkook was not gentle.
And he had already taken so much blood the day before. It wasn’t long before your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you went limp in his iron hold.
That was the first time that Jungkook had given you vampire blood. You had almost died that day, you had gotten so close to finally being free of him and still he wouldn’t let you go. Even death wasn’t a great enough adversary for him. 
When you had woken up after that attack, shocked that you managed to survive, you were met with those big, red, frightening eyes. The look on his face was the most serious you had ever seen it before, an odd clarity in his eyes that you were seeing for the first time.
He had been dreadfully quiet since then, speaking even less and shorter sentences than he normally did. You wouldn’t say he felt bad for what he did, but he had become increasingly aware of the inherent fragility that came with being human. He never apologized, but he had fed from you a lot less after that.
You froze mid bite as you felt his icy fingers graze your flesh, the coolness biting your skin and seeping into your veins. His touch was feather light, just barely there, but you went still beneath it anyways. You were incredibly aware of the strength that was concealed in that touch. He appeared unbothered by your response, his thumb smoothing over the curve of your jaw as he leaned in unbearably close.
You flinched at the feeling of cold metal being draped around your throat, his fingers clasping the material at the nape of your neck. It was a necklace. Your chest felt tighter, the food in your stomach quickly souring. 
He was doing it again. 
You were well aware of Jungkook’s strange and disturbing habit of taking mementos from his victims. His ears, wrists, neck, and practically every inch of his body were adorned with items he had stolen. You noticed he had an affinity for jewelry, but his jacket and boots had been taken from someone’s corpse as well. And, recently, he started bringing them back for you as well. 
Your bloody fingers were littered with several rings, a bracelet on your right wrist, and your ears decorated in earrings - some of which he had pierced himself. And now, the necklace.
It left your stomach in knots when he did this, you couldn’t help but think about the bodies abandoned in the woods that he had slaughtered every time the metal glinted back at you. Each piece felt like another shackle keeping you at his side. 
The worst part was that you never tried to run. Jungkook never tied you down to anything or bound your wrists or feet. He simply knew that you would never try. It would be idiotic for you to try and run, you knew he was a talented tracker - he would be able to find you within minutes of your escape. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from him, he would always be able to find you.
And so, you had become his plaything. His dinner and now his doll, a weak body that he could play with and decorate to his greatest desires whether that be with a corpse's jewelry, or a litany of scars.
“Pretty,” He said, his voice deceptively soft as he grazed the skin of your neck, his fingers moving from the clasp of the necklace to trace over the scarred imprints of his fangs and teeth.
You were thankful that he wasn’t hungry.
The odd, calm atmosphere between the two of you was quickly dissipating. Jungkook shifted away, agitation clear on his face as an annoyed growl parted his lips. You flinched back against the wall, scooting away to stay out of his path. 
This wasn’t unusual - he had been having rapid mood swings lately.
The few moments of peace the two of you would share were often interrupted by the sudden pained twist of his features - his eyebrows drawing together and his nose scrunching in a snarl. It almost looked like he was in physical pain despite there being no signs of any injury.
And then, the pacing would start. It was like watching a caged lion sweep the perimeter of their enclosure. Back and forth, slow and menacing steps. It was like he was looking for something, or trying to guard the two of you from someone else. You hadn’t dared to ask what he was doing, to be entirely honest you tried your best to avoid initiating any interaction or conversation with him at all. The few times you did speak to him, it was usually to beg for him to leave you alone, pleas that often fell on deaf ears. 
You didn’t know what to do with this. When you first “met” him, he had been sadistic, like a zealous child with more power than they knew what to do with. He had wanted to play his sick and twisted games with you and the plan had always been to gorge himself on your blood and leave your mangled corpse deep in the forest to wither and return to the earth. That was what was familiar to you, that was what you were expecting. 
You were never supposed to live, that had been an unfortunate circumstance, a split decision he made to prolong your torture and pain. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do with this suddenly quiet, confused, and barely human creature in front of you. One that would rip open your flesh to feed just as soon as he would leave bruising kisses on your lips and throat, painting the flesh a rich red that was left to rust.
You were waiting for him to snap, waiting for it to all finally be over. But that would be luck, luck that you didn’t have. He had promised you, so long ago, that you would never be alone again, that he would keep you. And you have suffered the consequences ever since.
When he said your name you felt your blood freeze over. He had never said your name before, you didn’t even know that he knew it. He had always called you that horrific pet name, his little mouse.
You wrapped your arms around your legs, pulling them into your chest in an attempt to feel some sense of security as he continued to speak. 
“We’re leaving soon.” He said, the words simple but the expression on his face ever so complex. Reluctance, frustration, pain, anxiety.  
You swallowed, but did not move. The silence was deafening. But, by the look on his face, you knew that he was waiting for your response. You would have to break the stalemate. 
“Are you…taking me home?” You dared to ask, your heart thundering in your chest as that predatory gleam returned to those red eyes. 
“No,” He growled, his jaw clenched as his fangs ground against his lower set of teeth, “You’re not going back there, ever.”
Your heart shattered. 
“I’m being called back to my home.”
His home? This was the first that you were hearing of it, you never stopped to ask yourself if he had a home. You couldn’t picture it even if you tried, it was a puzzle piece that simply didn’t fit. You had always assumed he was simply a nomadic creature that moved as he hunted. And, due to his supernatural nature, it seemed that he never needed the typical human necessities and comforts such as four walls and a roof. 
You knew he had some sort of family at the very least. You had, after all, had the displeasure of meeting Hoseok who had referred to himself as his brother. And he had mentioned the name Namjoon, the phrasing suggesting a hierarchical structure. But even the notion that he had a family felt just as mismatched. And how ironic it was that he was returning home to a family he didn’t even want, and he wouldn’t let you go home to the family that you missed so much. 
“And that’s bad?” You hesitantly asked, flinching as he growled in frustration. 
“It’s worse than bad!” He yelled, his hands sliding through his hair in stress, “It was difficult enough fending Hoseok off, but all six of them? You’re as good as dead.”
Hope.
“Then…don’t go?” You said, although it sounded more like a question. By the way he was acting, it was like returning was not a choice. 
“If only it were that easy,” He laughed, the sound bordering on being unhinged. “I can’t ignore it, if I’m called I have to answer. If I don’t it becomes more and more persistent. It feels like a cord that grows tighter and tighter until it pulls and my body moves on its own and takes me back.”
That explained the pacing, the restlessness his body had been experiencing. He had been trying to redirect it by walking the perimeter of the decrepit cottage but it had been a temporary fix to the problem. You could only assume that he was getting to the point now where his body was ready to return against his will. 
How horrible it was, to be someone’s unwilling puppet. You knew that feeling all too well. 
You didn’t know what you were supposed to tell him. There were no choices to be made by the two of you. He would have to return, and he wouldn’t leave you here on your own as he knew you would be given the greatest opportunity you have ever had to leave him. So, he would have to take you with him right into the lion’s den where you would undoubtedly be consumed.
He was mumbling to himself now, his pacing becoming more frantic and much faster, your human eyes struggling to keep track of him. You were sure that he was moving so fast he would wear down the old floorboards beneath him and the soles of his beat up boots.
You could only assume that meant the call was becoming even stronger. Before - it was asking, now it was commanding.
You had never seen him so frantic before, those wide blood red eyes unblinking and shifting back and forth faster and faster as his thoughts raced. It was borderline demonic, like something you would see during a paranormal movie or an exorcism. It was terrifying. 
You began to scoot back as far away as you could until your spine was flush with the wall behind you. You felt better with some part of you concealed from the open, but that did little to calm your racing heart and the creature that raged in front of you.
What was he so afraid of, so panicked by? You couldn’t imagine anything scaring him, not with how terrifying he was on his own. What could be so bad, so scary, that it frightened a monster? You weren't sure you wanted to find out, even if it meant you could finally feel the sweet embrace of death and escape him once and for all. 
Jungkook finally came to a stop, his body still but his eyes continued to move erratically. And then they too settled, and a look of deadly calm settled over them. He had decided something, and you were certain that whatever his decision was it wouldn’t be good for you. 
“They wouldn’t,” You heard him mutter to himself, “Not if I put a fail safe if place.”
A fail safe?
Before you could even blink he had moved across the room, faster than your eyes could track. Your body had been ripped away from the wall and set in between his legs, your spine pressed against his chest, the both of you seated on the ground.
An uncontrollable wail shook your body, the sound emanating a feeling of pure hopelessness. You had been surprised it came out of you, but you knew why. You were terrified he was going to feed from you again. 
His one arm was wrapped around your ribs, his legs tensed and forcing your own to squeeze together. He had immobilized you, there was nowhere else you could go and no way to escape him. 
Your entire body shook and heaved with hysterical breaths as you writhed in his grip. “Please, please don’t do it again I can’t take anymore of this!”
He hushed you, his free hand brushing over your hair in a surprisingly gentle manner. It was more like someone who was trying to calm a startled stray animal than anything else. His touch moved to your chin, lightly taking hold of the point where your neck and jaw bone met.
He didn’t say anything, instead he forced you to look at him, turning your face so that he could look directly into your eyes. And then, to your shock and horror, he plunged his fangs into his own wrist and ripped the flesh wide open. A torrent of thick, viscous, black blood rolled down the pale flesh of his forearm. And before you could do or say anything he grabbed you by your hair and jerked your head back before pressing his open wound to your mouth. 
You gagged at the smell and taste, tears blurring your vision as you tried to move your head away but he did not budge. His arm around your ribs finally moved but only to help him pry your jaw open and force the blood flow down your throat. He continued to hush you as he forced you to drink, gently rocking your body in stark contrast to the harsh and violent hold he had you in. 
“Just relax,” He whispered against the shell of your ear, “The more you struggle, the longer I’ll keep you here. We need to get as much of my blood as possible into your system.”
You were crying even harder now, the salt of your tears slipping between his wrist and your lips and mingling with his blood in your mouth. What had you ever done to deserve this? What horrible thing had you done in some past life to deserve this kind of punishment?
You just wanted to go home. You wanted your mom and dad, your grandparents, and the gentle comfort of your bed in your childhood room. You wanted that life back, and you were never going to have it again. 
His harsh grip on your jaw loosened as you went limp in his arms, resigning yourself to your inescapable fate. His hand returned to those soothing strokes against your hair, a low hum in his chest vibrating against your back as he watched you feed from him with a curious gaze. You were such a weak little thing, you needed him more than you would ever understand. 
You hiccupped pathetically when he finally removed his wrist from your mouth after what felt like hours. Your lips and chin were stained black from the blood he spilled when you had struggled. He stared at you again, curiosity evident in his gaze, as he leaned forward and licked the flesh of your lips, tasting his own blood.
You shivered as he made a soft hum, cocking his head to the side before doing it once more, stroking over the bitten and chapped skin with his tongue as he transitioned into kissing your battered lips in a grotesque act of intimacy. He laughed against your mouth as you weakly pushed against his chest, he was amused by your pathetic attempts to push him away. It only encouraged him to kiss you harder and deeper, sampling the taste of his own blood straight from your mouth. 
Once he was satisfied he finally allowed you to breathe, a devious gleam in his eyes that you had not seen in a long time. 
“They won’t be able to kill you for a while now, not unless they want another vampire to worry about.” He said. He was gloating, reveling in the win his family had no idea he had already achieved.
Your blood ran cold, your body freezing at his revelation. The very thing you craved, your own death and by association freedom from him, would be the very thing that would trap you with him for the rest of eternity. If you were killed with his blood in your system, you would become one of them. He truly had taken everything from you, even the dignity of your own death. Your life was his and his alone.
He really was a monster.
His features suddenly twisted in pain, his head jerking to the side as he released a low and threatening growl. The call was becoming even stronger, the most intense it had ever been. There was no more delaying it. They had to go, and they had to right now. 
He quickly lifted you into his arms as his body began to move on its own, forcing him to begin to move in the direction of his home. There was nothing more that you could do, all you could do was remain limp in his arms. It was over, there was point in fighting anymore.
He had finally broken you. 
When he stepped outside you were shocked by the fresh air and the cold weather. Then again, you always feel cold now. The clouds were thick today, the sun hidden behind their cover. It had been so long since you were outside, and even longer since you had been in the sun - that wouldn’t change in the near future. But what truly shocked you, was that the world went on without you. The seasons continued to change, the flora continued to flourish and then decay. The cycles continued while you were stored away. How cruel the world was to keep going on as you withered away. 
You leaned your head against his shoulder, shielding your face from the harsh wind as he began to move faster, running at his impossibly fast pace that no human could ever wish to match. How had so much changed? When did you go from human being to a play thing for a monster like him. You had a life, but now it had become inconsequential, toyed with and thrown away like it never even mattered.
What were you supposed to do now? At the end of the day, it didn’t really matter. He had won, he had played his sadistic stupid games with you, and he had won. He had broken you. You tucked your chin into your chest and like the pathetic creature that you were you whimpered.
You cared about what was going to happen next. If Jungkook had been wrong, then the two of you walking into the proverbial lion's den would end with you turning into one of them, a fate worse than any other that you could imagine. To be tied to him for all of eternity would be your personal hell on earth. 
What would they do to you when you got there? Would your death before your next life be slow and torturous, or quick and merciful? Would it be planned and intentional, or accidental? 
Jungkook began to slow, his fast pace relaxing into a natural walk. The tension that previously rested in his body had begun to dissipate. You could only speculate this was the relief of obeying the command to return home. His control over his own body was slowly but surely coming back to him the closer the two of you came to his home.
He stopped for a moment, placing you down on your own two feet before he took hold of your wrist and forced you to follow after him. Your knees wobbled beneath your weight, unaccustomed to you standing after being curled up in a ball in that abandoned shack for the longest time. You looked more like a baby fawn learning to walk than you did that meek little mouse Jungkook always thought you were. He, however, paid little attention to you at that moment. He was tense, his body in a state of alert as subtly surveyed the area as you continued on. 
He could sense something that your dull human senses weren’t entirely picking up on. However, the hair on the back of your neck prickled and your gut twisted as you felt phantom eyes digging into your body. 
Someone, somewhere, was watching you. 
A building began to break through the cluster of trees. A modern, contemporary house in the middle of the forest was coming into view. This was the last place you thought of when Jungkook had mentioned his home. In all honesty, you would have been less surprised by a crypt and a row of coffins.
In front of the house, stood a man. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, his eyes that familiar shade of deep burgundy, the same shade the monster’s eyes were when he was hungry. This sent chills throughout your body, your entire being sensing the danger in the vampire that stood across from you. 
Those burgundy eyes swept towards you, a look of shock and confusion discoloring their once calm gaze that you speculated was rarely rattled. His features twisted as he took in the state of you, the dried human and vampire blood that coated your body in thick layers, the dirt that was caked into your clothing, your hair that needed to be washed, and the smattering of scars that decorated your body and glistened in the cloudy daylight. 
You were barely human anymore, you were a walking corpse.
“You called me home, Namjoon.” Jungkook simply said, his body moving to shield you from the other vampire's gaze.
“Jungkook,” Namjoon said, utter disbelief tinging his words, “What are you doing to her?” 
In every possible scenario you had conjured in your mind, this had not been one of them.
Sympathy.
_______
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stellarsecrets86 · 2 months ago
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"A Breath Too Cold, a Room Too Still, The Echo Knows. It Haunts at Will"
(Questions I wanna ask to these placements.)
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Grab your Valentine's astro readings. Here
🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
🥀 Water Rising with 8th House Stellium or 8th House Sun/Moon – Why do people feel so exposed around you, as if you can see the parts of them they want to keep hidden?
🥀 Pluto in the 1st House – Do you get feared or obsess over, possibly both? Why do other people's reactions feel so damned intense?
🥀 Scorpio Mercury Conjunct Pluto: Don't you sometimes feel that your words seem to strike others like some kind of psychic dagger, when you really have no intention to hurt?
🥀 Mars in the 12th House – Why do people push your limits, assuming you're passive—only to regret it when you finally snap?
🥀 Capricorn Moon with Hard Aspects – Why do people expect you to be their rock but resent you when you don't show emotion the way they want?
🥀 Saturn in the 7th House – Why do people suddenly take you seriously after you've already walked away?
🥀 Venus in the 8th House - Why do people fall so deeply for you, but then act like they’re drowning?
🥀 Chiron in the 1st House - Why do people act as though you're some kind of villain when all you did was exist in proximity to their wound?
🥀 Uranus in the 4th House-Is it a wonder you are craving stability when your whole upbringing has been a storm?
🥀 Neptune in the 6th House – How do you bear the permanent blur between work, dreams, and fatigue?
🥀 Sun Square Pluto – Why do people feel the need to prove something to you by your very presence?
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🥀 Leo Mars in the 8th House – Are you aware that people try to impress you, yet somehow it's never enough?
🥀 Pisces Venus in the 12th House – Why do you fall in love with souls instead of people, and why does it hurt?
🥀 Mars in Scorpio – Why do people beg for your passion, only to run when they get it?
🥀 Moon Opposite Pluto – How does it feel, knowing your emotions make people confront things they aren't ready to face?
🥀 South Node in the 7th House – Why does every relationship feel like déjà vu—like you've been here before, and it never ends well?
🥀 Lilith in the 10th House – Why does society fear powerful women, yet can't stop watching them?
🥀 Mercury in the 8th House – How do you always know what people are thinking, even before they do?
🥀 Saturn Conjunct Moon – Is it exhaustion or just the weight of being responsible for your own emotions since birth?
🥀 Aries Venus in the 8th House – Why do you love like a wildfire, intense, consuming, and impossible to control?
🥀 Venus Opposite Pluto – Why does love feel like war, and why can't you resist the battlefield?
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🥀 Neptune in the 7th House – How do you always fall for someone's dream, not their reality?
🥀 Sagittarius Mars in the 12th House – Why do you fight the hardest battles where nobody can see?
🥀 Aquarius Moon with Hard Aspects – Why do people say you are emotionally detached when you feel everything, just differently?
🥀 Jupiter in the 8th House – Why does transformation stalk you like your shadow, and blesses, yet curses you with its presence?
🥀 Pluto in the 5th House – Why is your creativity born from the ashes of your pain?
🥀 Saturn in the 1st House – Have you ever felt you were old from childhood, a child forced into growing up?
🥀 Moon in the 12th House – Why do your emotions feel like a dream—real but impossible to hold onto?
🥀 Pluto in the 3rd House – Why do people hang onto your words, even when you weren't trying to be profound?
🥀 Mars Conjunct Pluto – Have you noticed how people either try to control you or fear you controlling them?
🥀 Sun Square Saturn – Why do people assume you’re confident, but inside, you’re always questioning if you’re good enough?
🥀 Venus in Scorpio – Why does love feel like a haunting—beautiful, intense, and impossible to escape?
🐝✨
(PS: These are my own interpretations. For entertainment purposes only. Have fun!💚)
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digi-diareis · 17 days ago
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Teen MC snapping at Caleb
Context: Yk how when you're teenagers, guys think the only way to flirt with the person they like is by teasing them? Well, imagine if Caleb had an era like this until it went too far and mc finally snapped at him.
Beware: this is gonna be SO BAD. im not a writer at all and english isn't my first language either. its just that i've had this scenario in my head for a few days now and i needed it out of my system. Also, I decided to use they/them pronouns for mc. So its more inclusive that way and also bcs even I personally don't always refer to my mc as she/her. So yeah, for the bitches, bros and non binary hoes.
Imagine this, Caleb and you bantering like usual on your way home but you're having an off day which makes it easier for you to get pissed off and fed up with all the teasing. Unfortunately, Caleb doesn't notice this and keeps teasing you until you just snap.
So mc, exasperated, scoffs at him and turns around to leave with their arms folded across their chest and eyebrows scrunched so hard they almost look like a unibrow.
"I'm done talking you. Go find someone else to pick on, Caleb. I'm not in the mood."
Sensing the sudden shift of mood, Caleb is speechless for a bit and left floundering, looking for the right words to say. He thought this was just your usual banter so why were you suddenly taking the jokes seriously? Hell, he can't let you stay in a bad mood for the entire day because that means he's getting the silent treatment and he'd rather die (well not really but he almost feels like it) than have you completely ignore his entire existence. Again.
He approaches you slowly, using a gentle voice to not alarm you the same way one would with a hissing kitten.
"Pipsqueak? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry... Tell me what it was and I promise I won't say it again. Don't be mad anymore, we don't want you to develop any more wrinkles, do we?"
And oh, the way you stiffened up, very much reminiscent of a stray cat on full alarm against anybody trying to steal its food. Caleb gulps, knowing somewhere along the lines, he triggered a tripwire and a bomb's about to blow.
"Uhm! You know what, nevermind me! How about we go buy your favorite snack? Oh, what a coincidence your favorite stall is right around the corner-"
You turn around with a glare that makes him immediately shut up, looking like you're about to rip him a new one.
"WRINKLES?! First, you make fun of my height. Calling me pipsqueak around everyone and never shutting your damn mouth about how not a day has passed where I was taller than you. Then you start being weirdly aggressive towards my other guy friends, which by the way, what the fuck? Now most of them won't even talk to me anymore! What is your problem?! And now, you're calling me OLD and UGLY?!"
"I-I never said -"
"Shut your damn mouth and listen to me, Caleb! You have been getting on my nerves lately! I've been trying to convince myself that this is all just friendly banter but sometimes, you go too far that I don't even know if I can still laugh it off! We used to be best friends but now, its so easy for you to make fun of me. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this but oh my god, if you hate me this much then just stop hanging around me!"
Mc is heaving by the end of their entire speech, extremely worked up and upset that they're red in the face. They had been bottling this up for the past few weeks so letting it out almost felt cathartic.
Caleb is stuck in place, throat dry and mouth open but words won't come out. Was that how it's been like for you? Had he taken the jokes too far recently? Maybe it was wrong to listen to the other guys in his class who said that teens tend to fall for guys who act terrible, the bad boy stereotype is popular nowadays.
He looks down, feeling guilty and pathetic that he ended up making you feel like you hated him when you were the person who embodied everything he loved. You made him feel like flying and falling, all at the same time. So how could he hurt you like this? He had to make things right before it was too late.
"I'm sorry. Its all my fault. I shouldn't have said all those hurtful things to you, even if it was a joke or not. At the end of the day, they hurt you and that's not right. Please believe me when I say that I could never hate being around you. That couldn't be more wrong, not when all I ever want to do is be by your side. So please don't tell me to stop hanging around you, just thinking about it feels like my chest is being squeezed that it hurts. I promise I won't make the same mistakes again, so please forgive me?"
He's nervous, fiddling with his hands while he looks you in the eye. He reminds you of a wet puppy under the rain, begging you to bring him home with you. You knew the moment he pulled those puppy dog eyes that you would eventually lose, you could never say no to him. Not when you were kids and not now.
You sigh, shoulders slumping and the frown gone from your face. Now you just look tired, which only makes him more worried, maybe you're tired of him? No, that can't be. What would happen to him if you decide he's not worth keeping around anymore? He just might stop functioning all together.
You turn your back and start walking home, he feels his heart drop thinking this is it. You're leaving him behind– that is until you turn your head to the side, side eyeing him with a blush on your face.
"What're you standing there for, I thought you were going to buy me my favorite snack? Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not forgiving you just yet. Not until I've had my fill."
After that day, Caleb completely changes. Or maybe its more accurate to say he reverted back to how he used to be when you guys were kids. Doting, attentive and extremely supportive. He still banters with you from time to time but he never goes out of his way to start one. Although, there is one thing that doesn't change and that's how over protective he still is, he's still acting like a guard dog and being threatening towards all the guys in your class but at this point, you're just happy to have your best friend back again.
And just like that, Caleb's popularity spikes in your class because suddenly, every girl wants a guy who comes at their beck and call and attends to their needs. No more bad boy persona for them, they just want someone who worships the ground they walk on the same way Caleb does for you.
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ddarker-dreams · 20 days ago
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A Deal's a Deal II.
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Yan Chrollo x F Reader
Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, descriptions of anxiety and emotional/mental manipulation. Word count: 4.1k.
Prev
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You met Chrollo at an old hole-in-the-wall bookstore that housed archaic texts. 
There was little information on your condition, but what material did exist hid itself beneath allegory and ciphers. The best leads came from high strangeness circles. They expanded on Jung’s concept of the collective unconscious, drawing parallels between historical records across cultures and periods that all implied some system that transcended physical limitations. Whether it came from alchemists like Paracelsus, mystics like Crowley, or authors like William Blake, hints of this system can be found sprinkled throughout history. 
Chrollo informed you that this system is commonly called ‘Nen.’
Before him, the nomenclature eluded you. You simply regarded it as a phenomenon best kept to yourself. The world’s a weird place, filled with inexplicable things that the human mind can’t always comprehend. This handheld device, which you nicknamed Instant Replay, is the foremost example.
You were always aware that you knew things you shouldn’t have. As a child, it perplexed you. Why do people sometimes sound weird? A few trips to the audiologist proved your hearing is perfectly fine. When this avenue didn’t provide answers, you ended up in counseling, where you reenacted the dilemma with dolls. For a while, you insisted that what you heard was real. It frustrated you to no end that the adults in your life either dismissed you or offered bromides. 
As an adult yourself in the present, you can’t blame them for being at a loss. 
You smartened up eventually. What you once blabbed about to anyone who would listen, you kept to yourself. This eased the tensions at home. Your parents seemed happy that the issue had ‘resolved’ itself and you maintained the illusion. Playing pretending could only do so much — the core problem remained. Your mind made the connection that when another was being dishonest, that’s when their voice would sound strange. After you realize that, there’s no going back. The epiphany changed how you interacted with others for better and for worse. 
“You want to get rid of your ability?” he sounded surprised when he asked. 
“How could I not?” you replied. “People lie… a lot. Friends, family, strangers. And, okay, that might not seem bad, but imagine always being aware of it. It— It eats away at you. Wears down your ability to trust. I have to act like I’m none the wiser, knowing full well someone just lied to my face. I don’t want to know! I’m tired of knowing!” 
“You’re unable to control when it’s active?” 
“Instant Replay lets me ‘review’ audio, both in real-time and after it’s been recorded. I have control over the latter, but that’s it.”
Your antagonistic relationship with Nen fascinated Chrollo. According to him, most people were intentional when it came to crafting their Hatsu. There are very few cases like yours where Hatsu is subconsciously given shape and form. You wish your subconscious had created something more useful, like a sword. That would’ve been cool. 
“Could I learn a new ability to oust Instant Replay?” you wondered. 
“Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way,” Chrollo dismissed. “In theory, it is possible to learn different abilities, although your inexperience would make that difficult. There’s no way to erase an ability either. You can, however, lose access to it. For instance, there’s my predicament, or…” 
He leaned in close and whispered: 
“... Someone could steal it.” 
-
Chrollo looks out of place in your apartment.  
It’s a cozy, lived-in space, full of trinkets that he thoughtfully examines as if he were in the Louvre. Meanwhile, you prepare two cups of tea. Chamomile with honey for you and Earl Grey for him. After setting the timer for five minutes, you realize there’s not much else to do but wait. The silence is unusual and unnerving. Anticipation thrums through the air like an electric current. You feel it coursing through your blood; tingling along your skin. 
The barstool you’ve chosen as your perch groans against the wooden floor as you pull it out.
Chrollo picks up a picture for closer inspection. You crane your neck, curious about which snapshot captured his attention. It’s from a night out with friends. Empty plates and drinks littered the table and each of you crowded in close to fit into frame. Since the restaurant was high-end, you were dolled up, adorned in an outfit that rarely saw the light of day. 
“Swarovski?” He sounds amused. 
“I’ve been known to splurge on the occasion,” you huff. “The necklace was on sale and the earrings were—” 
You cut yourself off, although you’re unsure why. It shouldn’t be a taboo topic. Nonetheless, beneath the weight of his gaze, you couldn’t get the word out. 
“—From an ex?” He offers. 
You nod. 
He returns the picture to its proper place, a cryptic smile on his lips. “So even you aren’t above materialistic impulses, hm?” 
“There’s a difference between rampant consumerism and buying yourself something nice on occasion,” you retaliate, disliking the edge of mockery in his voice. “I don’t need to hear this from the dude wearing a silver Rolex watch.” 
“It’s white gold.” 
You roll your eyes. “A camel through the eye of a needle.” 
“‘First cast out the beam out of thine own eye.’” 
“Do you seriously have the entire King James version of the Bible memorized?” 
“It was one of the most accessible texts in my youth,” he says, his smile softening into something pensive. “The missionaries were far more generous with those showing signs of ‘progress.’ I tried helping my companions memorize the more significant passages, but they weren’t what you’d call ideal pupils.” 
Missionaries? You purse your lips and consider the implications. Had Chrollo grown up in destitution? Come to think of it, you know very little about him or his background. Unlike you, he never volunteered the information. He skillfully maneuvered around any inquiry into his past. The most you’ve gleaned is that he’s a traveling antiquarian who, in pursuit of valuables, made some enemies along the way. 
The shrill shriek of the timer rips you from your thoughts. 
Chrollo accepts his mug with a “thank you” and sits on the rightmost side of your coach. After plopping two ice cubes into your concoction, you join him, leaving ample room between you. The nerves from earlier return. He’s an easy man to converse with, but when his mind is preoccupied — as it most certainly is now — you’re at a loss. Do you try reinitiating banter? Opt for a completely different topic? Or should you let him initiative, squirming around until he breaks the thickening tension? 
“Have I held you in suspense long enough?” Chrollo asks while holding his hand out. A book with a handprint on the cover appears, the pages flipping too fast for you to gauge their contents.
The quality of his aura temporarily stupefies you. This must be the difference between a novice like yourself and a genius. You can muster up enough aura to summon Instant Replay, but that takes considerable effort. To him, managing the flow of aura comes as easy as breathing. You scooch closer to study his technique. How long would it take you to match his expertise? Years? Decades? 
“I’ll get bashful if you keep staring at me like that.” 
“Liar,” you accuse without any real malice. 
He chuckles.
“Give me your hand.” 
Heat rushes to your face as you recall what happened when you last parted. “D-Do I have to?” 
“Yes.” 
Hesitantly, you do as he requests. He maneuvers your hand against the conjured book’s cover. You gnaw on your bottom lip, trepidation brewing inside your soul. You thought you’d feel relieved when this moment came. There’d be some butterflies, yes, but that would quickly give way to relief and exhilaration. The thorn that’s been in your side all these years is finally coming out. Your quid pro quo has reached its conclusion; this is your reward, your ticket to a normal life. 
“I like you too.” 
“I’ll be there whenever you need me.”
“It’s okay if you come.” 
“I promise I won’t tell anyone.” 
“We’ll always be together.”
Yes, people lie a lot. Sometimes, you’re unsure if they’re even aware of it themselves. They lie to you, the people they love, the people they hate, and themselves. Fate decided you’d be made witness to their folly, sewing your lips shut and eyes wide open. The wounds it left behind are intangible and incurable. How do you heal what you can’t explain knowing to others? How do you explain your hesitation, shift in demeanor, and inadequate coverup? 
The sound of Instant Replay whirring reverberates throughout your skull. 
Chrollo speaks your name softly. You startle, realizing that you’re blinking back tears. 
“I—” 
“It’s alright,” he reassures. The words sound crisp — genuine — soothing your budding concern that you’re inconveniencing him somehow. In an instant, the hardcover dissipates, leaving your hand flat against nothing. Chrollo takes the opportunity to come closer. When you don’t protest, he completely closes the distance, until you’re thigh to thigh. 
He smells good. Intoxicatingly so. 
“Show me the ability you despise so much, dear.” 
Dear? You think to protest the emergence of this nickname, yet you can’t bring yourself to. Instead, you follow his order, mechanically lifting your arm and summoning your ability much like he had. 
“Good. It’s almost over with,” he brushes the wetness away from your eyes with his knuckles. Your heart leaps at the contact. “Finally, I have to ask about your ability. There are so many possibilities… what to choose, what to choose… ah.” 
With the same hand that wiped away your nascent tears, he cups your cheek.
“Do you trust a man like me with such a dangerous ability?” 
“I have my reservations,” you respond. You don’t miss the amusement he derives from your candidness. “This sounds bad, but… at this point, I guess I just don’t care.” 
For a moment, all is still. There’s no odor of sulfur, maniacal cackling, or declaration that the ritual is complete. You didn’t have to sign a contract in blood or swear an oath to an infernal being. Your overactive imagination ran numerous scenarios through your head. The lack of flair over this life-defining moment is almost underwhelming. You frown, fearing that there was an error somewhere along the way. If there was, he’s given no indication, yet you’ll remain restless until the results are confirmed. 
“Chrollo?” 
“Hm?” 
“Did it work?” 
“It did, love.” 
“Could you, um,” you lick your lips, a motion that draws his attention. “Make something up so I can know for sure?” 
This request amuses him.
“How will you know if I’m being honest to mess around with you or not?” 
At this, you give him a light shove. Given his apparent playfulness, you expected him to move back, but he doesn’t budge an inch. It felt like trying to move a concrete building. 
“Make it an obvious lie, then.” 
“An obvious lie, hm?” He mulls over your suggestion. “Very well. How about this: I don’t want you beneath me.” 
You gape at him, dumbstruck. 
“I find it easy to control my urges around you.” 
He keeps going. 
“I’m unmoved by your beauty…” 
He gently pushes your shoulders until you’re lying down. 
“... Your wit…” 
He hovers above you, tracing the outline of your lips with his pointer finger. 
“... And boundless charm.” 
Chrollo tilts your head up by your chin. “Well? Do you believe me now?” 
Slowly, as if in a daze, you nod. Your heart lurches, the organ beating loud enough to hear in your ears. You feel uncomfortably warm, like your heater’s been cranked to the highest setting. Gradually, the violent joy you expected to accompany your liberation abounds, starting at your chest and overflowing outward. You’re smiling, breathless, your corporeal form barely able to contain the glee. You see your reflection in Chrollo’s eyes. There’s a manic quality to your countenance; you barely recognize yourself. 
You’re free, you’re free, you’re free— 
His lips find yours. Your cognition short circuits, leaving you in a reverie where you can barely understand what’s happening. He handles you so carefully that it’s easy to forget you’re physically trapped. He carries on, either failing to notice your apprehension or disregarding it. 
On some level, you’ve always sensed this underlying attraction. You remained purposefully obtuse. There was too much at stake — jeopardizing your aims for a fling felt counterintuitive. On paper, he’d make for the ideal partner. He’s devilishly handsome, charismatic, and intelligent to a fault. Aside from some dubious morality, you couldn’t ask for a better suitor. 
And still, hesitation prevailed. 
Every now and then, there’d be glimpses of some great, existential threat, beneath the fissures of his porcelain mask. These glimpses gave you pause. You think he could’ve tried harder to hide these damning qualities, yet chose not to. Where’s the fun — the thrill — in always playing nice? You needed his help more than he needed yours. His connections spanned continents, whereas yours were shallow and easy to uproot. 
How many of your convictions would you compromise? 
How far would you let the poison spread to cure another affliction? 
How can you look down on him if you’ve fallen to the same level? 
When he pulls away, you avert your gaze, fearing what stares back. 
“... So you are afraid of me, then.” 
Chrollo lets you wriggle out from underneath him. When your eyes make brief contact, it feels like he’s inspecting you, as if you were a specimen in a petri dish. It isn’t the reaction you’d expect from a rejected man. Nonetheless, you’re on edge and longing for a menial task to occupy yourself with. Recalling the state of the kitchen, you decide that will suffice. 
He remains seated as you wash and dry the implements used to make your tea. 
This uncharacteristic silence unsettles you further. The only audible sound in your apartment is your faucet, the water running over silverware that’s plenty clean. You scrub at it harder, wondering what you should do next. Originally, you intended to thank him for his pivotal role in removing your burden. You never would have made it this far without his assistance. Even with this strange atmosphere, your gratitude remains unwavering. 
You’ll be able to live life like anyone else now. It’s an accomplishment worthy of celebration, regardless of the twists and turns along the way. Maybe he misinterpreted your body language or acted on an impulse. These mistakes can happen when emotions run high. 
Okay, you think, psyching yourself up. This doesn’t have to be weird. I can—
“Have you given much thought over last week’s unpleasantness?” 
Your heart skips a beat and your shoulders droop. 
“I assume you haven’t,” he says. “That’s fair. It must’ve been frightening… I wish I could have spared you such an experience.” 
The appreciation he previously instilled in you desiccates, drop by drop. 
“Will you please get to the point?” 
Under different circumstances, you would’ve been more patient with his preamble, but this is a sore subject. A buried corpse like that shouldn’t be exhumed. His reasoning, though elusive to you now, doesn’t inspire warm sentiments. 
“That incident won’t be the last of its kind.”
You turn around as he approaches, sipping his tea. He leans against the counter and eyes you over the cup’s rim. 
“In truth, we should’ve left hours ago, but I was feeling sentimental.” 
“‘We?’ Chrollo, what are you talking about?” 
“Had it not been for your role in getting my Nen back, Hisoka would’ve killed you,” Chrollo says this so casually that you question if you’re hearing him right. “Now that you’ve done your part, he has a vested interest in doing so.” 
You no longer have a way to verify if he’s telling the truth or not. It’s so stupid, so unfair, that you almost laugh. Instant Replay no longer heeds your call. You surrendered it to a new master, who, before taking it from your willing hands, all but told you he was the worst person you could’ve picked. 
Chrollo continues, “He’s a peculiar case. All he cares about is fighting formidable opponents, and, with my Nen returned, I am one.”
You take a step back.
“That business is between you two. I fail to see how this involves me.” 
“I have preparations to finish before I face him,” Chrollo explains. “He doesn’t feel like waiting any longer. Harming you is an excellent way to speed things along. Even I don’t know what I’d do if you were fatally injured.” 
You shake your head. “I— you’re not serious. There’s just no way. I’m moving past all of this bullshit. Nen, Hatsu, whatever; that has nothing to do with me anymore. I’m done.” 
“I’m sorry, dear.” 
“No, you aren’t!” Your voice raises in pitch, pulled as taut as a bowstring. “You knew, didn’t you? That this would be a problem? Oh, oh, you had to, why else would you have acted all weird when you saw him? Stop looking at me like you care, like you’re sorry, 'cause this is the best-case scenario for you!” 
You pace back and forth, your mind racing. This was a mistake. Walking up to him because you recognized the book in his hands was a mistake. Is he bluffing? And if he is, does it matter? You can’t put up a fight. You don’t think you could even make it to the door. If he was a regular man, you’d have options. You could yell for help, call the cops, and inflict some damage, minor as it may be. All those tactics turn to ash before an oppressive, incomprehensible force like this. 
You snap your head in his direction. “Aren’t you going to say something?” 
“I don’t see how that will help.” 
You prepare to spew vitriol his way, when a dreadful thought shoots through you like a bullet. 
“My family. What about them? Won’t they be in danger too?” 
“They aren’t on his radar.” 
“How do you know that?” 
“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” Chrollo sets the cup down. “The suffering of your loved ones wouldn’t elicit a reaction from me, so he won’t bother. Targeting you is the wisest option.” 
Words fail you. Is this it? The depravity he kept subdued finally let loose, so dense in its quality that it threatens to suffocate you? All you wanted was a semblance of normalcy. Normal relationships, interactions, and problems. Has the path you’ve treaded brought you further away from this humble aspiration? Or is there still a way, some faint silver lining that you must find and latch onto? 
“What about after?” 
“Hm?” 
“After Hisoka is dealt with,” you clarify, tapping your foot repeatedly. “You’re not going to let him live, are you?” 
“That’s rather dark.” 
“Chrollo,” you implore. 
“No, I won’t,” he confirms. “As for what comes next — I intend to persuade you.” 
You regard him with suspicion. His tone and the implications sink into you like a venomous bite. He exudes quiet confidence, indicating that nothing you’ve said will influence him in any meaningful way. Dread sticks to your stomach, making your body feel heavy. You hug yourself, clenching your upper arms with shaky fingers. Any lingering excitement from earlier has vaporized, leaving behind a profound hollowness. 
“I suppose this can go a few ways,” you murmur. “I could cause as many headaches for you as possible, or, I could be decent enough.” 
“I’m listening.” 
“I’d like to have Instant Replay back,” you say. He quirks an eyebrow. “Just for a bit. What? I’m assuming if you can steal something, you can give it back, right?” 
“You’d be correct. Still, that begs the question; what are you intending to accomplish with this little scheme?” 
“Nothing that’ll inconvenience you in any major way.” 
Chrollo falls silent. You dig your nails into your flesh as the seconds drag on, awaiting his verdict. If he had your ability activated, he should’ve been able to discern your honesty. Then again, he’s aware of the workarounds. To ensure your words wouldn’t register as untrue, you had to remain vague and subjective. What you consider an inconvenience could differ drastically from him. 
“I’m sure I won’t regret this.” 
Your eyes widen. That dissonant timbre is unmistakable, he returned your ability! Filled with newfound resolve, you stride toward him, your eyes blazing. This is your chance. You need to make the most of this opening before it’s gone forever. He could choose not to answer any of your questions, but something tells you he won’t, like it’d injure his pride. You issued him a challenge and he’s intent on meeting it. 
“Did you have anything to do with what happened last week?” 
“I didn’t.” 
“Did Hisoka?” 
“No, he just happened to be observing you from afar.” 
“Why?” 
“For his personal amusement, I’d wager.” 
“He’d really kill me just to… agitate you?”
“It’s in line with his character.” 
You swallow thickly and press on. 
“And if you’re wrong?” 
“Then I’m wrong. Regardless, you’ll be alive and well.” 
“Can you win against him in a fight?” 
“Yes.” 
“And if you somehow lose, what happens next?” 
“My companions will hunt him down and kill him.” 
Now that you’ve gotten your most pressing inquiries out of the way, you decide to wade through dangerous waters. Chrollo likely saw the benefit in assuaging your doubt, these next questions provide him nothing substantial. His willingness to humor you is undoubtedly finite. Keeping this in mind, you consider the possibilities. You may never have a chance like this again. Is there anything that can give you an advantage? You’ll take anything, no matter how small, even if all it offers is an illusion of control. 
Chrollo glances at his watch in a not-so-subtle motion. 
“Who sealed your Nen?” 
“Now this is more what I expected,” he hums. His eyes take on a bright, unsettling shade. “An individual with a longstanding grudge. Your paths will not cross, I suggest adopting another plan of attack.” 
He saw right through you. You knew it was a long shot, but collaborating with this mysterious figure would have proven advantageous. They must be powerful in their own right to have bested Chrollo. Should you try pressing for more information? Then again, Chrollo doesn’t seem keen on sharing more, much to your chagrin. 
What does that leave you with…?
“How do you plan on ‘persuading’ me?” 
“You’re better off not knowing until we get to that point.” 
You frown. If that didn’t register as a lie, it must be what he genuinely believes. Curiosity plagues you, dredging up anxiety. You have but a few grains of sand left in the hourglass remaining. It’s suspended midair, poised to drop at the most ill-timed moment. The approach of the end is worse than its inevitable arrival. You now have the chance to hasten its onset, at the risk of being debilitated by the impact. What lows would he resort to? Are you actually better off remaining ignorant?
“Alright, let’s—” 
“Does it hurt to know I’ll never love you?” 
Up until this point, he’s fired back with a near instant response. This time, however, he hesitates, the invasive nature of the inquiry necessitating careful thought. You finally found an effective ‘attack.’ It’s too late to do you any lasting good, but you greedily devour it nonetheless. When dealing with a person of Chrollo’s caliber, it’s easy to forget he possesses the same human qualities you do. You might be unable to stop his heart from beating, but you can make the organ ache. 
“I can live with it, dear.” 
You pinch your eyebrows together, thrown off by his voice’s clarity. Is the knowledge that inconsequential to him? Have you misjudged his attachment? While considering this, you flex your fingers, concentrating your aura there. You can’t repeat his words back since Instant Replay wasn’t recording, but you still decide to conjure it. You’ll record what remains of this conversation to ensure you don’t miss anything else. 
The flow of your aura halts at your wrist, refusing to take form. Frowning, you try again, only to realize he must have reclaimed your ability. 
When did that happen? Was it before or after his response? 
Chrollo says your name, regaining your attention. “I fulfilled my end of the bargain. Will you do the same?” 
After playing the role of the interrogator, you’re back to being an inmate. You meant what you said — when you said it, that is. This is yet another loophole to subvert Instant Replay. What’s true to you in one instant can change in the next. It’s frightening how fast he’s learned these nuances that took you years to test and discover. He’s already making the most of your ability, turning what was a thorn in your side into a full-fledged dagger. 
“What choice do I have?” 
“There’s always a choice,” Chrollo asserts. “You just have a habit of making the wrong ones.” 
A delirious laugh leaves your lips. 
"... I suppose you're right."
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ludwigplayingthetrombone · 9 months ago
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Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery
Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3
tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood
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Bisuke: Gai's Back!
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Gai: GRAAH!
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Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,
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Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?
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Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.
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Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then
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Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!
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Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry
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Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.
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Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.
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Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners
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Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it
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Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...
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Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.
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Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"
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Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]
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Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?
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Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken
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Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that
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neil-gaiman · 10 months ago
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Hello Mr Gaiman. I have read all of your books.
This is not an ask, rather an answer.
I would like to say thank you for saving me. Knowing I will never meet you will not change the way I feel about you or myself.
Love your fiction work. I feel bad for the fact that it’s not fiction to me. It is my life story.
Very sad one. That I am still trying to make sense of today.
I was raised by the other mother. Not really, but I was raised by a bipolar narcissist who hated me and loved me but didn’t know how to do either. She sexually abused me for 12 years.
No one ever believed me. No one.
So I would pretend that I was Coraline and that I was brave. I was. But that was because I knew that the spell had to break at some point.
I am 24 now. She is old and frail but the hell she has made in my mind - I almost never escaped. Until I understood that I truly was stronger.
Because she tried to make me just like her, but I refused. I picked kindness.
If you can’t find a friend, be one. If you can’t find someone you look up to- become someone who others can look up to.
I did. I tried my best. I promise.
I want to tell you the ultimate secret that no one ever could. You probably figured it out a long time ago, but it still makes me feel better to write it here, even if I know that you might never reply or ask me if I am safe, or dismiss me like a crazed fan/abused child who desperately needs help and attention.
I don’t. I would like to be your friend. But I know it is not possible.
So I want you to know I know why they do it.
They do it for the same reason as you wrote books. To not feel alone.
But that is the problem with existing in this world. Evil is nothing but not understanding yourself and hating different people from you.
Ignorance brings hate. How do you justify yourself in a world like this?
Simple.
You change the world by breading more people who believe hate is love, and love is hate. Evil needs justification. Kindness needs non.
I sat alone for 24 years and told no one. The paragraph above was just the start and the ending.
My story is still unfolding. But I wanted to let you know you are no longer sitting alone at your birthday party.
Because the only present I ever got was knowing someone else like me existed.
Someone who could look evil in the eye and stare back.
And never stop talking about it.
Thank you Mr. Gaiman, for writing “View from the Cheap Seats”
When I read it I put it down as well as the razor that I wanted to end my life with.
Because you were my only friend. And you still are.
And I cannot take the injustice anymore. If they won’t read, I will read to them.
I will save them just like you saved me. Making reading cool and easy.
And I will do it for you and me. So that no one else can see the horrors anywhere but in books and movies.
And I will do it one act of kindness and love at a time.
So they will know that injustice is just a state of mind.
Thank you Mr.Gaiman. You gave me hope.
And now I will do the unthinkable. I will try until my dying breath to change their mind.
One step forward into a future where you are not sad and a story like mine is just a horror movie and not a reality.
Because you are my only friend, and I hate to see my friends sad.
Leto
I'm so proud of you, and this made me tear up.
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acid-ixx · 4 months ago
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Hi! I had a question about batfam x neglected! reader. Will it have a happy ending? Love your work! <3
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— masterlist !
hello anon !! now, as much as i love happy endings, and as far as my plans go since ive mostly written out outlines for simply the newer chapters but not much for endings, i would say that it most definitely wouldn't be a happy ending/s in terms of being kidnapped back into the manor (before your boyfriend whisks you away), or (even if i love him a lot) getting together with conner—
all because you've long since given up on your family, so trying to love a newer version of them that coddles you all the time, never having any moment of privacy, being given physical affection that you never quite know how to reciprocate or receive; you're bound to be overwhelmed. sure, you've got what child-you always wanted, always desired, but it's so hard finding an inkling of an answer as to why now did they decide to just love you?
is it because you've matured, or do they only like a version of you that used to chase after them, and now they miss that integral part of your life? is it out of sheer guilt of their neglect— or have they always loved you from the start, just never knowing that they did?
either way, breakdowns are a common factor of your life if you were ever kidnapped. you'll always be held, even if you push them away. always peppered with kisses, or hands that linger on your cheeks and the expanse of your back throughout the shivers of fear that someday they might just snap at you for always fighting back. you're not forced to play the fantasy that everything is normal, that your past traumas were never existent—
bruce ensures you get proper therapy sessions alone (though cameras are always plastered in whichever room you may be) and with the family, you can take your time, that is only one freedom they allow you to have; but he always wishes that you'll soon find joy in the way they care for you; no matter how many years it would take, no matter if you fight back with your nails digging deep into their skin or a hidden weapon ready to drag out a fight you know you'd never win.
and it doesn't help the fact that you feared all of them as much as you loved them back in the past, at the knowledge that they're vigilantes, of their powers and abilities that could easily snap necks or break bones. even if you learn to adjust, their strength will always stay a primordial fear of yours— especially if it were jason's finger that slowly tighten overtime without his knowledge whenever he finds himself cuddling you in the soft, bruce's arms that stay dormant on your back, acting as both your support and cage every time he leads you to another, or damian who could turn anything he holds into a weapon used against anyone who threatens his time with his older sibling, even duke's metahuman ability warrants more panic attacks than fascination on your part, no matter how gentle and approachable he portrays himself to be in front of you.
you know it in yourself that you'll truly never get used to whatever love they throw your way, no matter how little of it was given in the past, or how overwhelming overflowing it is in the near future. it's just who you are, a child of bruce who doesn't truly comprehend their feelings.
and if you ever do adjust, if even possible, who's to say it will get rid of the overbearing sense of doom that unsheathes itself stubbornly upon your beating chest, whispering in every crevice of your mind the possibility that their affections are all a farce; that they'll soon lose interest in you the moment you reciprocate.
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as for conner, your ending with him might be considered a happy one, if it means you're completely and perfectly willing to live an isolated life with the man of your dreams. i mean, you've already been neglected and left alone all by yourself for more than a decade— is conner leaving you for just a few minutes or, at most, an hour, speeding through different places to restock your pantry in a home in the middle of nowhere going to affect you that much?
well, the answer is... yes.
once you complied that, yes, you're perfectly fine relying on your man for your wants and needs, your desire for physical affection and even your bodily desires— it quite frankly means you've agreed to become one with him, your life will be full of memories of just you and conner, all alone with nowhere to escape, no place to hide; exposing all the deepest parts of yourself for a man who've you met in a bar.
at first, it would all go well. he's always loving you, nothing about that will change; always basking you in gifts, lavishing your home into various decorations he knows you'd love, holding you whenever you're down or need a shoulder to cry on; that's the reason why you even wanted to be with him in the first place. but what will change is your independence, and the foundations that you built based upon boundaries, will crumble.
there will be no secrets to be kept, no emotions hidden. you can journal, still, and be left alone to your whims but you know that conner will always read your entries, or worship your art right after. eating breakfast, bathing, picking and wearing clothes; all your routine life will be done with him. everything about your relationship focuses purely on codependency, on feelings so viscerally raw and pure to the point you both destroy each other in indulging your wants.
your relationship with conner will soon turn into your addiction on him for every single decision, every moment spent together; every year, months, hours, minute, seconds of your days all dictated into the man you're going to spend the rest of your life with.
even arguments, either small or huge, will always lead to you finding comfort in the arms of the person you fought against. you've nothing but him, he's nothing without you. even fights will dissolve just as quickly because you're too scared that he'll leave you, and conner hates it when you look at him with the same look you display whenever you think of your family.
at least for conner, though, you'd be living a life of raw, undulating pleasure. he'll indulge in you, of course he'd do for his lovely little (soon-to-be) spouse, but you gotta remember that "you're safer with me. okay, baby?" that translates that contact with any other human is rarer than finding specks of gold in a river, and anyone outside of your home life is an immediate threat to conner, who shields your exposure to the public, who kisses and wipes away your tears whenever you'd break down after a fight, who'll always be right behind you when you least expect it.
just like how it's always should've been.
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i'm back to answering asks, so feel free to send in some conspiracy theories or whatever guys. it's been quite some time that i did and i miss doing so, so expect more of these especially for my main series and occasionally for loving family, unpalatable desire 😭
anyways, the simple answer for this one is: choose your poison. i'm not implying that these two are the only endings. i have so many paths i want to take and i haven't even introduced an integral character yet to the plot. conner is one of them, but there's another and anyone can guess who it is; but i'm sure barely anyone would get it right unless i drop a hint hehe.
— back to the topic, which one would any of you pick? loved by too many, or loved too much by one 'til it destroys you? or do you choose the secret option and move to a country and change your entire identity and hope to god that nobody else would fall in love with you? i think the last option is most realistic but conner kent is also tempting so...
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bunnyscryptarchived · 1 year ago
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unlike most people, you don’t put up with most of rafes shit. if he gets rough, you get rough right back. you don’t hesitate to pinch his ear or wrap a hand around his throat whenever he starts acting like that.
especially s1!rafe
it was supposed to be a chill day, just the two of you —maybe even go somewhere nice to eat and enjoy each other’s company so you got all dressed up, something casual but cute but then he caught a glimpse of the pogues and that peace went out the window. all he thought about was fucking with them — mainly pope and jj
“rafe!” you hissed between gritted teeth.
continuing to walk in there difection, he doesn’t even look at you as he says, “what? i just want to say hi my little sister and her friends.” but you know him. you know how he gets plus the chuckle at the end of his words didn’t help either.
“sup!- OW!!” you pinched rafes ear and dragged him away from the group, not letting go no matter how much he cursed and clawed at your arm. “shit! owowow!! alright alright! fuck is your problem” he hissed.
“i did not get all dressed up just for you to start terrorising jj and pope. its an us day, remember. leave them alone. can you do that? huh? forget they exist for just one day..” you shook him, wanting to knock some sense in to place.
“o-okay okay fuck that fucking hurts!” he whined. “l-let go!”
you released his ear with a snap causing him to hiss, rubbing his ear harshly while you scowled.
“okay so…. what? you’re on first name bases with— theyre just pogues and you’re…..gonna defend them? some filthy pogues? you don’t need to worry about them, alright. i’m gonna do things the way i-“ he didn’t get to finish whatever speech he had planned before your hand was wrapped on his throat. he talks too much. with a tight grip, you continue to glower at him. a silent staring contest between you two lasts for a while.
you feel him swallow against your hand before huffing. rolling his eyes as he moves his head left and right, looking towards their direction before his eyes meet yours.
with another huff, he slowly starts nodding his head, lips pursed. letting out a chuckle, he grabs the hand on his throat and you let him remove it. “okay” he mutters. you grin, pressing a kiss to his cheek “such a man-child” you sigh lovingly before pressing another kiss to his red and irritated ear.
he hums, tongue in cheek —reaching back to grab a handful of your ass. “always got to get your way huh? don’t get used it to baby cause it’s not going to keep happening.”
it is.
—plus sarah most definitely saw her older brother get dragged off by his ear like a scolded child and teases him about it later.
❀᭢᜴꤬⠀
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scoupsakakitty · 2 months ago
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Hi!! I have an idea for Jeonghan. You know The8's song Cold love. (It's my favorite).
The idea is this. The reader has a crush on him, even tho there in the same group (pls idol au), But he's cold, and distant to her/them.
It can be either a fluffy or angsty ending, with her leaving the group of them ending up together.
The reader can be Gn, or female I don't mind any.
I Love your writing, it brings me comfort 🫶
Cold Love | idol!Jeonghan x 14thmember!Reader | angst, fluff
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The sun dipped behind the mountains, painting the sky in shades of orange and purple. The secluded cabin where Seventeen had gathered felt warm and lively, but to Y/N, it felt anything but.
She sat on the wooden deck, looking out at the calm lake that stretched before her. It was supposed to be a relaxing trip a short break before Jeonghan left for the military in a few months. Everyone had been excited about it, especially since they hadn’t had much downtime lately. But for Y/N, this trip had been nothing but painful.
She glanced back toward the large glass windows of the cabin. The rest of the group was inside, laughing and playing games, but her eyes were fixed on one person Jeonghan. He was sitting at the dining table, smiling at something Mingyu said. That smile was the reason she had fallen for him in the first place. It was soft, warm, and made her feel safe.
But lately, he hadn’t shown that side to her.
Not once.
Instead, he had been cold. Distant. Unkind.
Her chest tightened as she turned back toward the lake, hugging her knees. She wanted to believe there was a reason for his behavior some explanation that made sense but she was tired of waiting for answers.
“Y/N?”
She flinched at the sound of her name and quickly wiped at her eyes before turning to see Joshua approaching her.
“You okay?” he asked, crouching beside her.
“Yeah,” she lied.
Joshua raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because you’ve been out here for almost an hour, and you missed dinner.”
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“Not hungry, or avoiding someone?” Joshua’s voice was gentle, but his words hit her hard.
She didn’t answer.
“You know,” he said, sitting down next to her, “whatever’s going on between you and Jeonghan, you should talk to him about it. The tension’s so thick it’s making the rest of us uncomfortable.”
Y/N let out a humorless laugh. “There is no ‘me and Jeonghan.’ He made that very clear.”
Joshua hesitated before speaking again. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“Then why does he act like I don’t exist?” Her voice cracked.
Joshua frowned but didn’t push any further. Instead, he stood and offered her a hand. “Come inside. It’s getting cold.”
She took his hand and let him pull her up, but her heart sank as she caught Jeonghan’s gaze through the window. For just a moment, something flashed in his eyes worry? Pain? But then, just as quickly, his expression hardened, and he looked away.
————————————————————————————-
Dinner had ended, and the group gathered in the living room for games. Y/N sat quietly in the corner, barely paying attention as the others laughed and teased each other. She tried to join in, but her mind kept drifting back to Jeonghan.
It wasn’t fair. She had poured her heart out to him months ago, told him how she felt. And he had rejected her not with words, but with silence and distance.
It hurt more than she ever thought it could.
“Y/N, it’s your turn,” Seungkwan said, snapping her out of her thoughts.
She blinked. “What?”
“We’re playing charades. Your turn.”
“Oh… okay.”
She stood awkwardly, trying to focus, but the pressure of everyone’s eyes on her and Jeonghan sitting just across the room made her panic.
“I can’t. Sorry.” She quickly sat down again, her cheeks burning.
“Are you okay?” Seungkwan asked, concerned.
“I’m fine,” she said, but the tears threatening to spill told a different story.
Jeonghan shifted in his seat, his fists clenched. He wanted to say something to do something but he couldn’t. The management’s warning echoed in his head. No relationships. No scandals. If he stepped out of line, she could be kicked out of the group.
But seeing her like this, breaking apart because of him, was unbearable.
“Y/N.” His voice was sharp.
She froze, looking at him with wide eyes.
“Can I talk to you? Outside?”
The room fell silent, everyone’s eyes darting between the two of them.
“No,” Y/N snapped.
Jeonghan flinched. “Y/N—”
“No!” She stood up, her voice rising. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to ignore me, push me away, and then suddenly decide you want to talk when it’s convenient for you!”
The other members stared in shock as her voice cracked with emotion.
“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me?” she cried. “You know how I feel, and you couldn’t even be kind to me. If you don’t like me, fine! But at least treat me like a human being!”
Jeonghan opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“Forget it,” Y/N said, her voice trembling. She turned and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.
————————————————————————————-
The night was quiet, but Jeonghan couldn’t sleep. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as her words replayed in his head.
You don’t get to do this.
Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me?
If you don’t like me, fine!
He sat up, running a hand through his hair. He couldn’t let her believe that. He couldn’t let her go to sleep thinking she wasn’t loved because she was. More than anything.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he left his room and walked to hers.
He hesitated at the door, hearing her muffled sobs. His heart shattered.
Knock. Knock.
“Y/N,” he said softly. “It’s me.”
There was no response.
“Please,” he whispered. “Let me in.”
After a long pause, the door opened.
Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked exhausted.
“What do you want?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I need to explain,” he said. “Please.”
She stepped aside, and he walked in, closing the door behind him.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
“I don’t hate you,” Jeonghan finally said. “I never have.”
Y/N crossed her arms. “Then why?”
“Because I was scared.” His voice was raw. “The management they told me that if we got involved, they’d kick you out of the group. And I couldn’t risk that. Not for me, and not for you.”
Her eyes filled with fresh tears. “So instead, you decided to treat me like I didn’t matter?”
“I thought it would be easier,” he admitted. “I thought pushing you away would protect both of us. But all I’ve done is hurt you—and I hate myself for it.”
Y/N’s breath hitched.
“I love you, Y/N,” he said softly. “I always have.”
Before she could stop herself, she stepped forward and kissed him.
Jeonghan froze, shocked, but when she pulled away, embarrassed, he caught her hand.
“Wait.”
He cupped her face and kissed her deeply, pouring everything he felt into that one moment.
When they finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers.
“We’ll figure this out,” he said. “Together.”
Tears streamed down her face, but this time, they were happy tears.
“Okay,” she whispered.
————————————————————————————-
Y/N sat nervously in the practice room, her hands clenched into fists as she faced Seungcheol. He looked at her like she had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
“You want to what?” Seungcheol’s voice was sharp, but there was also concern in his eyes.
“I want to leave the group,” Y/N repeated, this time louder. Her voice still shook, but she forced herself to hold his gaze. “It’s the only way.”
“The only way for what?” he demanded, crossing his arms.
“For Jeonghan and me to be together,” she said softly, looking down.
Seungcheol froze. “…What?”
Y/N swallowed hard, feeling her chest tighten. “The management said if we get into a relationship, I’ll be kicked out of the group. Not him. Me.”
Seungcheol stared at her, completely silent for a moment. Then he burst out, “And you just accepted that?!”
“What else am I supposed to do, Seungcheol?” she snapped, her voice breaking. “Let them ruin his career? Let them destroy everything he’s worked for? I can’t do that to him!”
“And you think he’d be okay with you giving up your career instead?” he shot back. “Do you think Jeonghan would ever forgive himself if you left because of him?”
Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out.
Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “No. Absolutely not. You’re not leaving. We’re going to fix this.”
“How?”
“Simple,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “We’re going to the management, and we’re going to make it clear that this isn’t happening. You’re staying in Seventeen.”
———————————————————————————-
Y/N sat beside Seungcheol in the cold, sterile meeting room. Her palms were sweaty, and her heart pounded so loudly she was sure the managers could hear it.
Seungcheol, on the other hand, leaned back in his chair, completely unfazed.
“Let’s get straight to the point,” he said as soon as the managers sat down. “We need to talk about Y/N.”
One of the managers raised an eyebrow. “What about her?”
“This rule you’ve made,” Seungcheol said, his voice sharp. “The one where you’ll kick her out of the group if she dates Jeonghan. It’s ridiculous, and it’s not happening.”
The managers exchanged glances. “We’ve already discussed this with her.”
“And now you’re going to discuss it with me,” Seungcheol shot back. “You don’t get to ruin someone’s career because they fell in love.”
“This isn’t about punishment,” one manager said stiffly. “It’s about protecting the group’s reputation.”
“Reputation?” Seungcheol laughed bitterly. “What reputation? SEVENTEEN’s reputation isn’t built on scandals or dating bans. It’s built on talent, hard work, and loyalty. And you want to throw all of that away by forcing Y/N out?”
Another manager leaned forward. “This is standard in the industry—”
“I don’t care what’s standard,” Seungcheol interrupted. “This group isn’t like the others, and you know that. We’re a family. And you’re asking us to tear apart our family over something as human as love.”
“It’s a risk,” the manager argued.
“So what?” Seungcheol said, his voice rising. “Everything we do is a risk! Going on stage is a risk! Performing live is a risk! But we still do it because we believe in each other. And if you don’t believe in us if you don’t believe in Y/N and Jeonghan then maybe you’re the problem, not them.”
The room went silent.
Finally, one of the managers spoke, their tone colder than before. “If this relationship gets out to the public, there will be consequences. For both of them.”
Seungcheol’s jaw clenched. “Then we’ll handle it. But you’re not forcing her out of this group.”
The managers exchanged looks, clearly unhappy, but after a long pause, one of them sighed. “Fine. But it stays private. And if it ever becomes public, you all know what’s at stake.”
———————————————————————————-
Meanwhile—Dance Practice Room
Jeonghan wiped sweat from his forehead, looking around the room. Something felt… off.
“Where’s Y/N?” he asked, glancing at the others.
Joshua hesitated, then pulled him aside. “She’s with Seungcheol. At the company office.”
Jeonghan frowned. “Why?”
Joshua bit his lip. “…She’s asking to leave the group.”
Jeonghan froze. “What?”
“She said it’s because of you,” Joshua admitted softly. “Because of what the management said about you two.”
Jeonghan didn’t wait to hear more. He grabbed his jacket and bolted out of the practice room.
———————————————————————————-
Y/N and Seungcheol stepped out of the management’s office, the tension from their earlier discussion still lingering in the air. Y/N’s heart pounded, but this time, it wasn’t from fear. It was from relief.
It was over.
She could stay. She didn’t have to leave Seventeen. She and Jeonghan could be together as long as they kept it private.
But before she could fully process everything, Jeonghan’s voice echoed down the hallway.
“Y/N!”
She froze, her eyes widening as she turned to see him storming toward her.
His face was filled with panic and anger, and the moment he reached her, his voice was sharp. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Jeonghan—”
“You can’t leave the group!” he interrupted, his voice trembling. “Not because of me!”
Seungcheol raised his hands, trying to calm the situation. “I’ll give you two a moment,” he said, stepping back. He shot Y/N a reassuring look before walking away.
As soon as Seungcheol disappeared down the hall, Jeonghan turned back to Y/N, his eyes desperate.
“Why?” he demanded. “Why would you do this? Why would you throw away everything we’ve worked for?”
Y/N’s heart ached seeing the pain in his eyes. She reached out, but he stepped back, his fists clenched.
“Jeonghan, stop,” she said softly. “Listen to me.”
“How can I listen to you when you’re trying to leave?” His voice cracked, and for the first time, she saw the fear in his expression.
“I’m not leaving,” Y/N said quickly, grabbing his hands before he could pull away. “I’m staying.”
He froze. “What?”
She nodded, tears forming in her eyes. “Seungcheol and I talked to the management. We convinced them to let me stay. We can be together, but it has to be private.”
Jeonghan stared at her, completely stunned. “You’re serious?”
“Yes.”
Relief washed over his face, but it was quickly replaced by frustration. “You should have told me.”
“I didn’t want you to worry,” she said, her voice trembling. “I thought this was the only way to protect you.”
“Protect me?” Jeonghan stepped closer, his voice softer now. “Y/N, do you really think I’d be okay with you giving up your dream for me? Do you know how much that would’ve destroyed me?”
Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
Jeonghan reached out, gently cupping her face. “We’ll figure things out together. You don’t have to fight this alone anymore, okay?”
Y/N nodded, leaning into his touch. “I’m sorry.”
“No,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. For everything. For how I treated you before. For making you feel like you weren’t important to me.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain again. I know why you did it.”
“But I shouldn’t have,” Jeonghan said firmly. “I should’ve trusted you. I should’ve fought for us from the start.”
Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but Jeonghan didn’t let her.
Instead, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly.
“You’re not leaving me,” he whispered. “Not now. Not ever.”
Y/N melted into his embrace, finally allowing herself to breathe.
“Never,” she whispered back.
————————————————————————————
The group had gathered back at the cabin after practice. Y/N and Jeonghan sat together in the corner, their hands intertwined under the table where no one could see.
Seungcheol watched them from across the room and smiled to himself.
“Thanks, hyung,” Jeonghan said quietly when he caught Seungcheol’s gaze.
Seungcheol just shrugged. “You owe me.”
Jeonghan grinned. “I know.”
Y/N squeezed Jeonghan’s hand, and he turned to her, his expression softening.
They still had a long road ahead of them, but for the first time, they felt ready to face it. Together.
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miifu666 · 5 months ago
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I finally drew LMK wukong... while also making him yandere because uh.. i like yanderes, we need more yan!Wukong content pls 🙏🥹 anyway Heres my rendition of what yandere lmk sun wukong would be like.. maybe ooc, ive only watched season 1...
Also not proofread— At ALL
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⋆˙⟡ — Cw : Yandere, Dub-con, ooc lmk Wukong?, art is wukong x oc but writing is Wukong x reader, not proofread.
I imagine Yan!Wukong to be the type who taunts you about his past actions, how feral and rebellious he was, able to defeat the entire heavenly army and scared the Jade emperor out of his wits just for existing in flower fruit mountain. This only happens when you disobey him ofc, you left the cabin? Denied his wants to feed you himself? Maybe its time to remind you who he is
" See how i was back then? I was a Savage, untamed even if i had that stupid crown around my head. You wouldn't want me to be like that now do you, Peaches? "
He's a sweetheart, Patience and Virtue is a thing he learned the most during his years of living. Yet, unpredictability is also his nature. Especially as a monkey king. There are times when he would tolerate you acting bratty, a bit Defiant is all fun, but when the day comes where he's fought too many Yaoguais, Demons, and Alike. All he wants is your comforting touch soothing him of his worries. The last thing he needs is your uncooperative attitude.
" Peaches... im not in the mood for this. Eat the food. Now. Ive been kind to you. It's either you eat the food or ill get rough."
Wukong is canonically someone who hasnt experienced any romantic nor sexual attraction, the moment he does. He doesn't have a clue on what to do. All he can think of is being in his monkey nature, which includes being possessive, territorial, dominating, and providing you with nutrients. He doesn't trust others enough to help him with his feelings, barely have the guts to ask Bajie if you're in a bad mood. He prefers to wait for others to give him advice (not that he'll take to account).
"MK doesn't know anything, he's a kid! He doesn't understand love like i do... like us adults do. Im doing this to PROTECT you, peaches!"
There might be times where he'll be more touchy than usual, conditioning you to feel comfort and used to his physical affection. Wukong is nothing but patient, he knows how to pavlov you into feeling relaxed once you feel his hands. You'll notice his punishments ranged from letting him groom you, mark you and finally letting him eat you out.
The euphoric bliss whenever he touches you or caught a whiff of your scent is tantalizing, Due to this, he prefers to be the one to serve you rather than you serving him. A king needs his Queen to bleed his heart into, not a concubine who perfoms.
" ah, ah ah~ Remember what i said? You either let me groom your pretty head or i might change things up a little..."
Wukong who gloats about the ring around your finger, making sure everyone. Even the heavens. Know, who you belong to. Theres no such thing as divine intervention, HE willed this fate, HE knit the red threads of fate till it spells your name. Theres an endless amount of love flowing through his heart for you, it seeps through timelines and past reincarnations. Even if your current life is done in this world, he'll continue on finding you. Binding you with him, gripping your heart so close till it beats in harmony with his. He'll make sure to leave an imprint of himself in your soul, even your future consorts needs to know him in order to understand you.
While you came from another world, your own destiny is temporary in his. Wukong will fight tooth and nails to defy the stars just to have you as his permanently. He'll create his own thread. His own happy ending with you.
And if theres anyone who dares to leak the rough details about your hostage love life... hes not known as the god of trickster for nothing
" if the moon and stars are reflection of the past, would they know how many lifetimes have i been loving you before our souls reconciled in this one?
Because i couldn't possibly have just learned to love you this much, all in this single lifetime"
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Artwork ©️ Miifu666
Writings ©️ Miifu666
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thenationofzaun · 4 months ago
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The Vander/Silco Shitshow - generic, juvenile, and gimmicky slop
So, I think that Vander/Silco flashback was terrible. Tropey, careless, juvenile, clichéd bullshit that stripped away everything that made their season 1 story nuanced and poignant, while simultaneously ripping open a fat plot hole because the team got careless and did not catch the discrepancy between the story they'd written in their heads and the visuals that ended up on screen in season 1. This is just going to be a long rant post detailing the reasons I absolutely despised this flashback. Obligatory disclaimer that this is just my (strongly held) opinion.
1) The timeline plot hole
No, I'm not misusing the term. So a plot hole is an inconsistency in a fictional narrative that cannot be explained away by any plausible in-universe justifications. There are many moments of weak writing in Arcane that may be contrived, rushed, weird, convenient, etc. but aren't plot holes.
This Vander/Silco situation however. Oh boy. If you all remember, Season 1 opened with the bridge massacre, also known as the Day of Ash. Vander is shown cracking enforcers' skulls. He looks like this.
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The sisters, seemingly recognizing him, ask him where their parents are. He gestures to their corpses, the sisters cry, Vander has his "violence is not the answer" epiphany, drops the gauntlets very dramatically to underscore this massive turning point of character development for him, then picks the girls up and leaves the bridge.
In episode 3, we are shown a flashback. Vander is trying to kill Silco in the river. He looks like this.
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Let's compare this to how he looked like on the Day of Ash.
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Yeah. According to the visuals shown in Season 1, the falling out of Vander and Silco seems to have occured in the past before the Day of Ash, evidenced by how much younger Vander looks. Unless Silco is a time traveller who jumped forward to the future to throw a molotov at the riot because he just loves violent extremism that much, or Vander took the time to shave his beard and apply heavy duty anti-aging lotion on his face before hunting Silco down, there are no plausible in-universe explanations for this inconsistency. Not to mention, if Silco and Vander were really as close as brothers and the sisters knew Vander, then it's impossible they wouldn't have known who Silco was.
Yet, in Season 1, that's exactly what we see - not a single sliver of recognition between Silco and the girls, nothing to imply they knew of his existence before episode 3. Not a single conversation between Jinx and Silco implied that he knew, let alone was close to, her mother. Nothing from Vi throughout the entire first season indicated that she knew of his past friendships with her mother and Vander. They acted like total strangers to each other.
Many fans already caught this inconsistency during the three-year gap after writers' comments online implied Silco was involved in the Day of Ash. We had hoped the writers would catch on to this discrepancy too and either iron out the timeline if they want to do serious flashbacks, or just avoid calling attention to it completely by not doing flashbacks of their falling out. Alas.
2) Leonardo Dicaprio pointing meme
Death to the everybody-knows-everyone trope and lines that only exist to invoke the "Leonardo Dicaprio pointing" meme. Throw them into a fucking fire. Boring, mind-numbing, clichéd, overdone garbage. Not every character needs to have some kind of half-baked relation with each other. Not every major incident needs to be tied back to the main characters. Not every single detail needs to be overexplained and justified and again, somehow tied to a main character. They are unnecessary, and make the world feel so much more claustrophobic and smaller than it should be.
"The enforcers actually commited the Day of Ash massacre because SILCO threw a molotov. Vander actually tried to kill Silco because of VI AND JINX'S mother. She knew both Silco and Vander personally and TOLD THEM to help her raise her kids. VANDER named Vi."
Bullshit like this really fucks with immersion, because it becomes clear very quickly that the world is only occupied by a small handful of real characters while the thousands of other people in it are nothing more than inconsequential set dressing and wallpaper. The story and world no longer feel real, vast, and immersive. And these forced "connections" between main characters are so obviously manufactured to generate "OUGHHH" and Dicaprio pointing reactions. Idk about anyone else, but it takes me completely out of the story when I can obviously tell the writing is trying too hard to blow my mind.
The girls' mom waltzing up to Vander and Silco and just. Fucking telling them to help her with her kids lmfaoooooooo. (OUGHH and they both really ended up raising her kids WOAGH😱🤯). Jinx's mom saying choosing a name is stressful because her child will feel stuck with it (GASP and Powder ended up changing her name WOOOOWW😱). Vander coming up with Vi's fucking name. (OUGHHHH HE REALLY WAS MEANT TO BE FATHER ALL ALONG WOADGHHGHDHDH🤯🤯🤯).
Fucking kill me. Arcane Season 1 was surprisingly good precisely because they DIDN'T, for the most part, resort to tropey bullshit like this. It had, for the most part, originality. Uniqueness. In fact all the strongest aspects of Season 1, aspects I loved, were deliberate subversions of overdone clichés. For Season 2 to resort to this kind of writing reminiscent of Disney slop is insanely disappointing.
I'm waiting for a character to unironically say, "What are we, some kind of League of Legends?" in Act 3 now.
3) "Ohhhhh so THAT'S why he did that!!!!!!!!!"
Also death to overexplanations and giving justifications for things that never needed justifications. You know what I was never confused by while watching Season 1 of Arcane? Why Vander adopted the girls. Why Silco adopted Jinx. Why both came to care for their girls so much, they were willing to sacrifice so much for them. I thought the reasons for those things were very clear and poignant in the first season. I never needed an extra on-the-nose justification for the adoptions in the form of, "they wuved yo mama". It's not only redundant, it's also one of the most tired ass tropes in fiction. To me, Vander taking in the girls and Silco taking in Jinx are so much more powerful if they really were just random guys with no real connection to the girls' parents.
But I've already seen some positive reactions to this flashback with "Ohhhhh so THAT's why Silco/Vander cared for the girls so much, now I understand😯🤯😓" mf what exactly did you not understand before??
4) Character motivations
The motivations of both Vander and Silco are made downright bizarre by this flashback. So Silco was hellbent on murdering Vi last season, despite being close friends with her mom whose death he may feel guilty for? Literally despised her and wanted to kill her the entire time with no hesitation lol. So Vander had that aforementioned dramatic moment of character development, dropped the gauntlets, realized violence wasn't the answer, and carried the kids to safety... then doubled back to violently hunt down and murder Silco? But not before shaving his beard and applying youthful lotion of course. Can't kill your bro while looking crusty. Then he failed to kill Silco so he just... went back to the kids and pretended like nothing happened? Lol.
Silco being close to, let alone loving, the girls' parents makes no fucking sense for his character. Vander knowing them at least makes sense, but casual friends would have sufficed. "I was lowkey crushing (?????) on your mom and also named you" just cheapened the entire Vander/Vi and Silco/Jinx surrogate father dynamic. Vander's motivation for killing Silco being yet another fridged woman is also weak as fuck. First Viktor with Sky, and now Vander/Silco. They really should have left this one up to our imaginations if this was the boring tripe they came up with.
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byechristopher · 4 months ago
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hellooo can you write a fic where reader and chris have a pregnancy scare?
what could be.
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Author's note: thank you for the request, and sorry for being so late, pft. I hope you like it anon, here is an angsty/fluffy fic with Chris. Him and babies make me giddy fr. Don't copy/steal my work. :)
Warnings: uhm, none. But y'all.. use protection always. Didn't proofread!
It started with a simple sentence, one that hung in the air like a grenade waiting to go off.
"My period’s a week late."
Chris froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. The casual dinner we were having, sitting on the couch like we always did, suddenly felt like something fragile, ready to shatter. His face went pale as he put his fork down, staring at me like he hadn’t quite understood what I’d just said.
"What?" His voice was flat, cold.
I shifted uncomfortably, already regretting saying anything. "I’m late, Chris. A week late."
He sat back, his eyes narrowing as if he could will this entire conversation out of existence. "Are you serious?"
I nodded. "I thought it was just stress at first, but…"
"Jesus Christ," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, the frustration already palpable. "How could this happen?"
The way he said it — like it was some personal failure, like this was my fault, made my blood run cold.
"Uhm, now I don't mean to break it to you.." I snapped, my voice rising defensively, "but we were both there, remember?"
"Yeah, well, you’re the one who keeps track of this stuff, right? Shouldn’t you have known?" His voice was sharp, accusatory, and it stung.
I stood up from the couch, the tension in my body rising like a tidal wave, "what the actual fuck are you even saying? You think I want this to be happening? You think this is something I wanted to deal with right now?"
Chris got up too, pacing in the small living room, his hands clenched at his sides, "no, I don’t know what the hell you want! All I know is, we’re not ready for this. We can’t be dealing with a fucking baby right now."
I felt the familiar lump forming in my throat, but I swallowed it down, refusing to let him see how much his words hurt. "Chris, we’re in this together, okay? Why are you acting like I did something wrong?"
"Because this is—" He stopped, running his hands over his face. "This changes everything, okay? Everything we’ve been working for. All our plans, all our.. us!"
"What, and a baby ruins all that?" I cut him off, my voice shaking with anger. "Is that what you think? That this would ruin everything?"
He didn’t answer right away, and the silence that followed was louder than any argument we’d ever had. He just stood there, staring at the floor, and I couldn’t tell if he was thinking or trying to come up with a way to end this conversation without making it worse.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low. "Yeah. I think it would."
I blinked, feeling like I’d been slapped. I could feel my heart racing, the adrenaline pushing through me, making me feel sick. "Wow," I whispered, stepping back like I needed space from him, like I couldn’t stand being near him right now. "That’s really how you fucking feel?"
He looked up, his face tight with frustration. "We’re not ready for this. You know that. You’ve got your career just starting to take off, I’m still figuring things out. It’s not the right time."
"You don’t get to decide that for both of us," I shot back, my voice cracking under the weight of the argument. "This is happening, whether you like it or not. What are you going to do if I am pregnant? Walk away?"
Chris’s eyes flashed with something—maybe guilt, maybe regret, I couldn’t tell. "I’m not walking away," he said through gritted teeth, "but I’m not going to pretend like I’m okay with this either."
I didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t. The hurt and anger tangled up inside me was too much, and if I opened my mouth again, I didn’t trust what would come out. Instead, I turned and walked out of the room, leaving him standing there, his silence chasing me as I went.
For the next day and a half, we barely spoke. Every interaction was charged, electric with the weight of what had been said and left unsaid. He slept on the couch that night, and I didn’t bother asking him to come back to bed. I wasn’t sure I wanted him there.
The test sat on the bathroom counter, waiting for me, taunting me with the unknown. I couldn’t bring myself to take it, not when things between us felt so raw, so fragile. But after another restless night of tossing and turning, I couldn’t take the uncertainty anymore. I had to know.
When I walked into the living room that morning, Chris was sitting on the couch, staring blankly at his phone. He looked up when I entered, and for a second, there was something in his eyes—regret, maybe. Or guilt. I couldn’t tell.
"I’m taking the test," I said, my voice flat.
He stood up, nodding stiffly. "I’ll come with you."
"Yeah, you don't fucking have to." I said, but he followed me either way.
We walked to the bathroom in silence, and I grabbed the box off the counter with shaking hands. Chris stood by the door, watching me, his expression unreadable. I couldn’t even look at him as I went through the motions, my stomach twisting into knots.
When it was done, we sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the result. The timer on my phone ticked down, each second stretching out longer than the last.
"I’ve been thinking," Chris said suddenly, his voice softer than it had been in days. I glanced at him, unsure of what to expect.
"About what?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "About everything. About what I said… how I reacted."
I remained silent.
He hesitated before continuing, "I was scared, okay? I still am. I’m terrified, actually. But… I’ve been thinking. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing."
I blinked, surprised. "What?"
He looked at me, his expression softer now, more open. "I’m not saying it’d be easy. But if you are pregnant, I mean… we’d figure it out, right? We’d get through it."
For the first time in days, I felt a tiny flicker of hope. "You really think so?"
He nodded, his gaze steady on mine. "Yeah. I don’t want to be that guy who just freaks out and runs away. If it happens, I want to be there for you. For both of you."
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders. Maybe we’d been fighting, maybe we were scared, but hearing him say that made me feel like we could actually do this, if we had to.
"And if I really think about it.." he continued, his thumb on my cheek caressing the skin so gently, as if I was a porcelain doll, "the idea of having a little baby with you that looks just like their mom.. yeah, I think I'm fine with that." he teased with a little smile and that's all I needed to hear.
The timer went off, the sharp beep cutting through the air. We both froze, looking at each other.
"Do you want to…?" Chris asked, nodding toward the bathroom.
I shook my head. "You can look."
He stood up, walking over to the counter, his movements slow and hesitant. I watched him as he picked up the test, his face unreadable. For a moment, he just stared at it, not saying anything.
Finally, he looked up at me, his expression a mixture of relief and something else I couldn’t quite place. "It’s negative."
I let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. "Negative?"
He nodded, setting the test down and walking back over to me. "Yeah. You’re not pregnant."
Relief washed over me, but there was something else too. Something that felt almost like disappointment. I pushed it down, not wanting to think too much about it.
Chris sat down beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I’m sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "For how I acted. I didn’t handle any of this well."
I leaned into him, closing my eyes as I let the warmth of his embrace chase away the last remnants of fear. "It’s okay," I murmured. "We’re okay."
"Is it crazy that I've started to warm up to the idea?" he whispered against my hair and even though I didn't want a baby, I still felt giddy hearing him say that.
"Your mood swings are acting up." I teased and buried my face into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss there, "although.. so did I." I whispered.
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sume3luvv · 20 days ago
Text
April Doesn't Wait.
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synopsis: if he could trade the world for just a few more moments with you, he would.
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ o.dazai x fem!reader
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A hospital is a place of contrasts—where life began and ended, where grief and hope existed side by side. Time feels different here—either dragging endlessly or slipping away to quickly when moments are precious. Some find the hospital a temporary space of healing before returning to the outside world, while others find it their final resting place.
You hated the hospital. Boring, white halls, the quiet humming of machines mixed with the rhythmic beeping of monitors and distant murmurs of doctors nearby. The weird, unfamiliar smell of antiseptic—sharp, clean, and almost metallic, like the alcohol wipes and disinfectant lingering in the air that would always give you headaches.
"What a beautiful day. Isn't that right, Y/n-chan?" a rather annoying voice said, snapping you out of your thoughts.
Too exhausted and frail (at the moment) to get out of bed, you turn your head towards a man standing at the window by your hospital bed. He gazed outside with a calm smile, causing you to scowl.
"Whatever." you muttered, turning your body away from him.
Dazai Osamu. You didn't know where he came from, or what made him want to stay in your room and annoy you half to death. He was twenty-two, but had such a childish and happy personality, which made you jealous. You were jealous over the fact that he didn't have to spend his whole life in the hospital. Jealous over the fact that he can look forward to a long existence, to seeing life at seventy—maybe even more.
The brunette could only chuckle to your bad attitude, finding it amusing even if others didn't. "Don't be such a downer, Y/n-chan! Spring is a chance of growth and new beginnings, so cheer up!"
"And yet here I am, too weak to even move a finger." you retorted, eyebrows furrowing.
"You're acting as if you're going to die any second now, Y/n-chan." Dazai shook his head and turned to face you.
You looked at Dazai, shooting him an irritated glare—one that only made his smirk widen. "Would it kill you to shut up for once? You're like an annoying fly."
"You know, have you ever considered smiling? That pretty face of yours would look much more charming if you did." teased Dazai as he leaned in closer, the close proximity causing your cheeks to turn a light hue of pink.
Dazai chuckled at your flustered expression, tilting your chin up. "Falling for me already, Y/n-chan?"
Your eyebrows creased together in irritation and began to protest in defense. Just then, a nurse walked in with a wheelchair and a sickening smile that you disliked so much.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," The nurse said with her normal, sweet tone. You rolled your eyes in annoyance and swatted Dazai's wrist away. "Shall we go outside for some fresh air, L/n-san?"
You sighed, nodded, and watched as the nurse helped assist you into the wheelchair. As you were pushed towards the door of your bedroom, you turned your head to Dazai with a death-glare.
"You better be out of my room by the time I'm back." you threatened. Dazai flashed you an amused smile, waving to you as the nurse wheeled you outside.
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Of course, Dazai got bored within minutes of your absence. And, of course, he couldn't resist following you outside—just so he could pester you like always.
As Dazai finally made it to the courtyard, his attention was caught when he saw you sitting at a bench while gazing at the garden, hair blowing gently in the light breeze.
"Hey." Dazai spoke up with a calm expression and sat down next to you, though he kept a distance.
"Hey." you replied, not taking your attention off of the garden. You took a deep breath of the fresh air, savoring its purity—a stark contrast to the sterile, antiseptic smell of the hospital room.
And, for a fleeting moment, you forgot about your heart disease. You felt as if you could do anything without being held back. You felt free.
Dazai's gaze lingered on you for a moment before he found himself caught in the trap of your beauty. The way the gentle sunlight played with your features, seeming to make you shine. You were absolutely ethereal to Dazai.
He was quiet for a moment, just watching you. After a beat, Dazai spoke up again, his voice soft. "You look happy for once." he noted, lips quirking up into a small smile.
You blinked at Dazai's blunt compliment, your face heating up as you turned to him—only to quickly look away, brows furrowing. "S-Shut up! Do you always have to ruin the moment by pointing things out?"
By your annoyed response, it only filled Dazai's amusement more as his smile widened. "Ruin the moment? I didn't do anything, I just stated the obvious." he said, crossing his arms and leaning back on the bench.
"Maybe keep your 'obvious' thoughts to yourself, then." you retorted, glancing back at Dazai.
Dazai let out a dramatic sigh, resting the back of his hand against his forehead. "Ahh, but where's the fun in that? Watching you get flustered is the highlight of my day."
Your cheeks burned hotter, and you huffed, turning away. "You're impossible."
He chuckled, tapping a finger against his chin. "Impossible? No, no, I'm quite real. But if you keep looking that cute when you're annoyed, I might just start thinking you're the one trying to fluster me."
You let out a groan and buried your face into your hands. Did he have to be like this?
Dazai smiled innocently at your flustered state. "You know, you're much more pleasant when you're not trying to sew my mouth shut." he sighed, watching you with an unreadable expression. "Can you at least try and enjoy the moment, for once?"
You scoffed. "Easy for you to say."
"Oh? And why is that? Because I don't dwell on unfairness at all? Because I don’t waste my energy being angry at a world that won’t change just for me?" He asked, his voice teasing as always, but the was an unmistakable sharpness behind it.
You stiffened. Dazai took that as a invitation to press on. "Tell me, does your anger make anything better? You could keep glaring at the world all you want, but it won't glare back. It won't apologize, it won't make things fair."
Your gaze fell onto your lap, gripping your hospital gown tightly. As much as you hated to admit, Dazai was right.
"You're right." you replied quietly. "But, with so much I wanted to do and such little time now—you'd start to lose hope. You start to lose happiness and feel angry at the thought of missing out on a life you could've lived to the fullest."
"I know I'm pathetic because I'm whining over the unfairness of the universe, but can you blame me? My heart is failing, and I can't even get up properly without somebody's help. I can't even live to see the world at twenty-five." You said with a hint of bitterness behind your tone. Dazai's eyebrows knitted together.
"But it's better than not doing it at all, right? Make the most of what you can. That way, when it's time, you can pass peacefully knowing you at least experienced a bit of that thrill." Dazai said. He couldn't believe he was encouraging living, of all things. "There's still things to enjoy, even if you only have a year left."
He grinned. "And think about it—if you play your cards right, this could make your most dramatic, tragic art yet. A beautiful, fleeting existence... like a candle burning both ends."
"Wow, Dazai. What an uplift way of putting it." you stated, shooting him a flat look.
"You know me, I have a knack for making things grim things sound poetic." Dazai chuckled and leaned closer. You blinked, feeling your cheeks grow hot. "Besides, imagine all the fun things we can do! Swapping files in the doctors office? Slipping silly notes into other patients foods? How about sneaking out of your room late at night to stargaze?"
You raised an eyebrow. "You really know how to turn my life into a novel, huh?"
Dazai beamed. "Exactly! And who better to co-star in this final chapter than me?" He winked, his tone teasing, but underneath it all, there was something more sincere—like he truly meant to make your remaining time something worth smiling about.
You couldn't help but smile warmly at Dazai's antics, letting out a small chuckle at the thought of all the scandalous and fun moments you guys could share together.
Wow. Dazai's nonexistent heart did a few jumps at your beautiful smile. His breath caught in his throat, and for a moment, he wondered if you could hear his heartbeat—or feel it, too. But he quickly masked the turmoil and returned your smile.
"That's what I'm talking about." he whispered, his gaze softening in admiration. Not only did he feel happy for you, he felt proud of himself for finally making somebody smile, instead of staring at him in fear.
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After that day, your behavior did a complete backflip. You were seen giving compliments to nurses, thanking your doctor, got out of bed frequently, and smiling more often. You tried make an effort to clean up your attitude, something that didn't go unnoticed to Dazai.
"My, my, look at you! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're turning into a model patient." Dazai smirked as he leaned against the doorframe of your room.
You rolled your eyes, returning Dazai's smirk. "Maybe I just got tired of looking like a disaster."
Dazai chuckled, approached your bed, and sat down beside you. He stared at you with a glint of amusement in his eyes. "That's a shame. I was beginning admire your bedridden aesthetic. You're cute when you're angry."
You ignored Dazai's playful compliment. "Well, maybe I found something or someone I look forward to seeing everyday." You countered.
For a second, Dazai's teasing demeanor faltered slightly, his brown eyes softening. Then, he returned to his charming and teasing personality. "Ah, you mean my visits, don't you?" He clasped his hands together in a mock delight. "I knew it, my wise words finally knocked some sense into your thick skull!"
Your eye twitched in annoyance to Dazai's words. Did he always have to ruin good moments like these?
Dazai leaned forward, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he watched you. "I'm glad to see you like this, though. It's almost... refreshing." You felt your cheeks grow hot and you turned your head away in attempt to hide your embarrassment. Dazai's lips curled into a small smile. "I was right, a smile does suit you much better."
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"Y/n-chan. Y/n-chan, wake up." A soft voice coaxed you, tapping your cheek.
You grumbled and slowly opened your eyes, the sot glow of the moonlight bleeding through the curtains and casting delicate patterns across your room. You turn to your side, deadpanning when you were met by Dazai, who flashed you the dumbest smile you've ever seen.
"Dazai? What the hell are you doing here?" you asked gruffly and turned your head towards the alarm clock. An vein popped on your forehead when you read the time. "Dazai, it's four fucking am. What could you possibly want at this time?"
Dazai kept his innocent smile, as if he didn't ruin your peaceful slumber. "I was feeling a little... restless, you know?" he raised an eyebrow, his usual mischievous glint in his eyes. "And I thought, who better to share the night sky than you?"
You blinked in disbelief. "You woke up at four in the morning to stargaze?"
"Bingo!"
You pinched the bridge of your nose in annoyance and irritation. "Are you always this rambunctious so early in the morning?"
"Maybe. But it's still dark outside, and the stars won't wait forever. What do you say?" Dazai chuckled.
"Fine."
"Great! Let's go before the stars change their mind." Dazai cheered while helping you into a wheelchair.
As Dazai wheeled you out in the courtyard, the cold air hit your cheeks, causing you to shiver as you clung to your cardigan in desperation for body warmth. Dazai pushed you to a bench and helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. He gave you a sideways glance, his mischievous smile softening when he noticed your discomfort.
"You look cold." he commented.
"Thanks for noticing, genius." you huffed, pressing your lips together as the wind blew past you. "Can we go back inside?"
Dazai smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Why? We're getting to the best part of tonight! It's highlight in your life before you, well... pass on."
"Way to make this memorable." you shot Dazai a flat look. The brunette chuckled and took off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders.
You blinked as you look down, holding the sleeve. Huh. His choice of sweaters were awfully soft and cozy. "I didn't ask for this."
"Yeah, but I figured you'd rather be warm than cold." Dazai replied plainly, tilting his head up to gaze at the stars, his brown eyes reflecting the twinkling lights.
You did the same, turning your head up to gaze at the stars. Your expression softens at the breathtaking sight. The night stretched out before you, filled with the kind of stillness that made you forget the passage of time.
"Not so bad, huh?" Dazai asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You finally relaxed, leaning your back against the bench, letting the chill of the air and the warmth of his coat mix together. "Yeah, not so bad."
As the moment the two shared together progressed, what seemed like minutes turned into hours, and the black canvas of the night slowly faded into the pastel colors of orange, blue, and yellow.
Dazai blinked as the sun hit his view, peaking from over the horizons, its light spilling across his face, softening his features for a brief moment before the familiar smirk returned to his lips.
"I guess it's morning. Perhaps we should head back inside—" Before Dazai could finish, he felt a mass weighing down his shoulder. He turned his head to see you sleeping against his shoulder. Dazai's eyes softened as he observed you, the gentle rise and fall of your chest with each steady breath.
Dazai wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer towards his side as he continued to watch the sunrise. "You know, sometimes I feel this strange, unsettling feeling at the thought of you dying so soon."
Dazai paused before continuing. "Crazy, isn't it? How even a fleeting person can leave a mark on me."
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Minutes turned into hours, and hours faded into days. As time progressed, you began to feel more exhausted than usual, each moment began to feel heavier than the last. A constant dizziness clouded your senses and the uncomfortable feeling of nausea creeping onto you. Even the simple act of breathing felt like a struggle, each inhale more labored than before.
Even then, Dazai stilled stayed by your side, even when moments fell into silence, filling the small hospital room with an almost unbearable stillness. Of course, he kept his usual playful, teasing personality with relentless antics—but beneath it all was a fear he refused to voice. The fear of losing you to far soon.
"Hey, Dazai?" you called out, turning your body to Dazai, who was seating in a chair next to your bed.
Dazai hummed in response, not taking his attention off his book. You sighed at the lack of attention and flopped back down on your back while staring up at the ceiling.
"I'm bored." you stated plainly with a blank expression. "Can you read to me?"
Dazai exhaled softly, but nonetheless cleared his throat and began to read aloud. Just as his voice settled in the rhythm of the words, you suddenly interrupted him.
"Y'know, as much as I hate to admit it, I think I'd miss your stupid face when I pass..." you muttered.
Dazai paused, his grip unconsciously tightening on the spine of the book as his gaze flickered toward you. For a moment, the usual playfulness in his expression wavered, replaced by something quieter—something unreadable.
"Don't say that."
You chuckled, though there was no hint of humor behind it whatsoever. "Sorry."
Dazai pressed his lips together and looked back down at the pages of his book. He then turned his head to you, his shoulders hunched. "If I could trade the world for just another year or two with you, I would."
"That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?" you murmured, trying to mask the warmth creeping into your painful chest.
A lopsided smile tugged on Dazai's lips, his eyes holding none of their usual mischief. "Dramatic? Maybe. But for once, I'm not exaggerating." he tilted his head back. "The world is overrated, anyways."
You snorted, smirking at Dazai. "What happened to Mr. Optimism himself?"
"What's the point of having if it means losing you?" Dazai countered, his voice quieter.
You blinked, caught off guard by Dazai's words. A warmth crept up to your cheeks as your fingers hesitated gently resting over his.
"You're not losing me just yet, you know," you said softly, avoiding his gaze. "I'm still here, Dazai."
Daziai's usual playful facade had cracked, leaving behind something far more vulnerable—something he rarely let anyone see. You bit the inside of your cheek before continuing. "You always act like you have to carry everything alone," you muttered. "But you don't. Not with me."
Dazai was silent for a moment, then letting out a small chuckle. He turned his hand over and intertwined your fingers with his. "How cruel," he mused, his voice now gentle. "Comforting a man who specializes in deception.
You met Dazai's gaze, a faint smile stretching across your lips as you gave his hand a small squeeze. "Even you deserve it sometimes."
Dazai smirked and leaned closer, wiggling his eyebrows. "How sweet, my Y/n-chan is being so kind to me, finally!"
You rolled your eyes. "Don't get use to it."
Dazai chuckled. After a small moment of silence, Dazai broke it by sneakily planting a quick kiss on your lips. It was short and sweet, but you savored the feeling of Dazai's soft lips against your chapped ones. You touched your lips where Dazai had kissed you, blushing furiously.
"You!—"
"Stop acting like you didn't like it, Y/n-chan. We both know how we feel about each other." Dazai interrupted, sending you a playful wink.
"W-Whatever! You're so annoying..."
Dazai let out a light laugh in response, then pressing a kiss onto your cheek and forehead, only causing your face to grow hotter.
"Stop it, you weirdo!" you flushed.
"Why though?~ I can't help it. It's not everyday when I get the privilege to kiss such a beautiful goddess." he teased, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His lips curling into a mischievous grin as he leaned back, watching your face turn even redder.
That night, Dazai held you close, his head resting gently on your chest as he listened to the soft, uneven rhythm of your heart—each beat a reminder of how fragile time was. His grip remained firm, his eyes scanning for any shift in the familiar pulse, his mind alert to the slightest change. He stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, ensuring you were safe. Soon after you drifted into a quiet sleep, the weight of the night finally pulled him under as well, his breath steadying in time with yours.
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The next morning, the soft morning glow of the sun bled through the fabric of the curtains, landing on Dazai's face. The brunette stirred from his sleep, slowly opening his eyes as he sat up. Dazai let out a yawn and stretched his arms over his head, turning back to look at your peaceful sleeping figure.
Something felt... off.
Dazai gently took your hand, his fingers brushing against your skin. But the moment his fingertips made contact, a chill shot through him, and the blood drained from his face as he felt just how cold you had become. His grip tightened instinctively, his heart skipping a beat as panic gripped him. He quickly raised your hand to his lips, pressing them against your skin in a desperate, unconscious attempt to warm you. The coldness seeped deeper into him, his mind racing, but he kept his composure, determined not to show the fear that was bubbling just beneath the surface.
That's when Dazai realized. You had finally departed from Earth, and it hurt him more than he wanted it to. Dazai let go of your hand, letting it flop back down to your side limply as he stared at you with unspoken tears.
You were gone, and you weren't going to come back.
Dazai wanted to shout and scream, curse the universe for making his life so unfair and unfortunate, but he held himself back. He reminded himself that it wouldn't change the fact that you had passed.
After that day, the world appeared more dull and lifeless to Dazai, as if the colors had faded away. Everything felt empty without your presence, each moment stretching on in muted shades of gray.
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a/n: i think you'll need these... passes tissue box. anyways i love you guys! (≧ڡ≦*)
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