#either established relationship or close to it. so no angsty resistance to being loved

[malachitezmeyka]

What if I wrote a small Kuviren one shot as a warm up so my writing skills don't atrophy... jk jk... Unless??

[saby-chan]

Why the ATLA comics fail when it comes to Zuko and his family

To whom ever took their time to actually stop and read this post, thank you in advance for not skipping my post and willing to stay and read my humble opinion! I hope I won’t disappoint you!

As a relatively newcomer to the ATLA fanbase since 2020, I’ve come across a lot of interesting debates, comments and rants about the show, characters and fandom in general, but nothing has captivated me as much as the dumpster-on-fire that are the ATLA comics, more specifically: The Promise and The Search. 

On one hand we have the hardcore fans who want them to be animated or serialized into the Netflix live action, praising the comics for the new views and subject matters they’ve brought into the show’s lore, while on the other hand we have the furious Azula fandom who is really angry for the fact that best girl didn’t get the redemption arc she rightfully deserved so much after the painful event that was the Last Agni Kai and the even more angry fans of the Urzai ship (yeah, the people who actually ship Zuko’s parents unironically) who hated the retconning of the show’s cannon since the comics basically took a huge fat dump on what was previously established as official cannon, when the Search entered the scene, but between these two sides, who has the more valid point? In the end, are the comics good cannon or bad written fanfiction?

Well... Here are my two cents on this matter since I myself happen to be an Azula and Zuko fan and had huge expectations from these comics (since I wanted more from my fave hot-headed fiery siblings duo) but ended up disappointed: the comics are indeed a huge mess and actually bad written fanfiction when it comes to Zuko and his family! Don’t click off yet, because I actually documented the reasons why exactly the comics fail in this area:

1. The author of these comics is not part of the BryKe duo

Yes, I would like to start with the fact that if you actually take a second to look up who in the heck took the time to write these two books, you won’t find Bryan, nor Mike, but a fellow man named Gene Yang. This is important because while the wiki of both The Promise and The Search state BryKe as the creators, that doesn’t mean that they were the actual minds behind these comics, but rather because ATLA is their “baby” and these comics involve their characters, over which they have copyright. Mr. Yang here is the actual brain behind the plot, as the main writer, which explains why we find huuuuge inconsistencies between the show lore and the comics, especially Zuko wise.

My main issue with Mr. Yang isn’t that he isn’t BryKe specifically, but because he did an unforgivable mistake in his writing process: He projected himself into Zuko’s character, based on the relationship Zuko had with his father. This is a documented fact from an interview in which he explains that he sees himself and his dad’s relationship into Zuko and Ozai and used that when writing their interactions and built Zuko’s character in the comics. And this is wrong because when you have an already very developed and complex character such as Zuko, you can’t just come in and be like “Oh, I was an angsty teen just like him in my teenage years, fighting with my dad and whatnot, so he must have the same thought process as me!”. NO! This is bad fanfiction writer behavior! Zuko has his own personality and philosophy, which he developed over the course of 3 seasons and is not defined by only 1 unfortunate aspect of his past, so you can’t just base his whole mindset and actions off of your own personal experience just because you had the same daddy issues he had!

2. The whole “Promise that you will kill me if I turn out like my dad!” nonsense in The Promise

Reason number 2 why these comics fail and go under the category of “bad fanfiction” is because they fail to convey the core essence of the source material. The whole point of Zuko’s redemption was that he realized the wrongdoings of his ancestors and his own mistakes. He outgrew his desire of gaining his father’s acknowledgement in favor of choosing his own destiny. Having him worry that he’ll turn into his father is utter nonsense and feels like poor angsty drama material for the sake of angst. At this point in time, Zuko has overcame that obstacle in his life a long time ago and should be at the level where he himself is the “Uncle Iroh” for other people and in no way someone concerned of becoming their own worst enemy!

Not only that, but the whole point of Aang’s journey and the story of the show as a whole was to teach us, the viewers, the importance of forgiveness, empathy and love in life. Aang didn’t spare Ozai, aka “the ultimate evil” just to flex in front of his pals or because he is a “ 12 y/o vegan pacifist monk kid”, but because he knew that killing someone, no matter of what they did or wanted to do, wouldn’t restore balance into the Universe, on the contrary, him killing the villain would have meant perpetuating the “endless cycle of hate” that plagued the world. So having Aang promise to kill his best friend in case “they turned into an evil maniac like their dad” contradicts Aang’s whole character and it’s a nonsense that throws into the trash what we’ve learnt throughout the entire TV series.

3. Azula deserved (and was supposed) to have a redemption ark

This might still be pure speculation, but I count it as a documented reason because I’ve heard quite a few people saying that there should’ve been a book 4 in the show, aka “Book 4: Air”, and no, it wasn’t The Search, but actually Zuko and Azula’s journey as Zuko helps his younger sister heal her broken mind by being her very own “Uncle Iroh”. Sure, they prolly were going to end up looking for Ursa, but the journey should’ve ended with them actually being happy and a family again and not the bs we got in The Search where a still very unstable Azula runs away and becomes the “Next Joker”! The only problem is that M. Night had to pop up and curse the world with his movie, which forced BryKe to delay the project (and eventually abandoned it in favor of Korra).

All in all, either if BryKe had this preplanned or not, it made sense for Azula to get a redemption ark, she deserved it because she was just a broken 14 y/o child! If Katara’s mom’s murderer deserved to be forgiven, so did this poor child who had no fault for what happened to her since she had a dysfunctional family! What Gene Yang did in his poorly written fanfiction was to just antagonize a broken child, turning her into a monster for the sake of friggin angst!

4. The Search is the worst of the two, being flat af character wise

And finally, getting to the point that I personally find the most annoying about these comics: The Search. This one... This one is a mess on a hella lot many levels, and just to list a few: characters are flat as fudge, being either black as vanta black (like Ozai and Azula) or pure white like Gene’s Gary Stue OC, Mr Ikem (or how I like to call him, IKEA man) and his ‘victim’ rendition of Ursa, Azula gets to suffer more for no reason (see reason number 3 to why I find this as a no no), Ursa’s whole character sucks ass (man, I could write a whole thesis on why Yang’s version of her is terrible and doesn’t match the strong woman we got in the show) and Zuko does morally wrong stuff (my man literally used his unstable sister to bribe their dad into spitting info about Ursa... Show Zuko would never do that!;-;)

Oh boy, as a person who’s seen a ton of anime and other media and read many books, I can’t begin on how much I despise this type of writing: flat characters are the worst!

 ATLA characters in the show are nothing close to being flat! What I mean by that is that none of them fall perfectly into pure white (aka goodest of good characters with no imperfections) or vanta black (aka lowest and darkest twisted monsters out there), each of them are various shades of grey (like Aang who is a very light grey because despite being a very kind and nice character, he still isn’t a “perfect hero” since he ran away from his duties, practiced tax fraud with Toph, had insecurities and even threatened to kill people on ocassions like with the sand benders who took Appa) and this is a good choice because that prevents them from becoming what’s globally known as Mary Sues and Gary Stues (aka those either “perfect” characters with no flaws and/or unlimited power, or the twisted monsters full of flaws).

And the other reason why many other people hate The Search: it literally negates previously established cannon. And here comes my short essay on why this comic fails Zuko’s family (since we’ve already talked enough about Zuko himself).

In cannon and even interviews with BryKe, it was clearly stated that Zuko’s family was “once happy”. Where is this “once happy” family in The Search? All I see is pain, deception, lies and betrayal, nothing close to anything that resembles happiness. Okay, some of you might come in and say that “It’s because it was never the case! It was only lies and Zuko trying to convince himself that he didn’t live in hell forever!” and here is WHERE YOU WERE ALL WRONG! And why? Because, my dear fella, where were depicted the flashbacks of Zuko’s “happy family” in The Beach? Ember Island. And what do we know and had been even quoted in the show?  "Like waves washing away the footprints on the sand, Ember Island gives everyone a clean slate. Ember Island reveals the true you." (direct quote from the show). Exactly, no matter who you are or how hard you try, you can’t hide your true self when you are on the Ember Island, best example being Azula, who’s impenetrable though shell cracked and revealed the true vulnerable child that was underneath. If Azula couldn’t resist the “spell of the island”, no one can. So this means that Zuko’s family was indeed happy once and yes, Ozai wasn’t always the douchebag we got to know in Season 3 (I have a whole nother essay on my theories regarding what could be his real past story and why he’s actually the “Zuko” of his generation, based on stuff I gathered from old wiki entries and character analyses I made, but that’s for another time, lemme know if ya’ll are interested).

And what I guess is the biggest proof why The Search did this family’s past trash is comics Ursa herself. My dude, if this woman were indeed the victim of years of endless abuse and never loved her husband, I guarantee you that she would’ve been closer to what we saw in Todoroki’s mom from BNHA and Zuko would’ve gotten that scar or even worse long before the Agni Kai, not from his “daddy dearest”, but from “mommy dearest” herself, because no sane woman would be soo affectionate and attached to a child that’s the perfect copy of their abuser, sepecially appearance wise (again see Todoroki’s mom’s case from BNHA because the stories are really similar) and in no way would’ve she been willing to sacrifice her life for said child’s sake. With this ocassion, I remind ya’ll folks that according to the ancient ATLA cannon wikis on Nick’s site, Ozai was designed with Zuko’s appearance in mind, being meant to be like a “grown up scarless version” of Zuko. So yeah, remember this with a grain of salt that whenever you simp over grown up Zuko, you involuntary simp for Ozai too.

So yeah, I guess this kinda concludes my “not so short” rant about why the comics fail and are bad fanfiction. Lemme hear your thoughts in the comments and if you agree, feel free to leave a like and even reblog.

Bye bye and remember that Momo is the true strongest character of the show!

 Saby out.

[nortnaibz]

Pre Relationship 2,4,5 | General 6 (in the case of IDV lore, friends..) and 7 |Love 8, 9 | Domestic life, 7, 8, 9 | All of these for JackFan (ily bitch)

(ily more bitch)

2. first impression: fan thinks jack is pretentious and that he purposefully acts quiet/skittish for the sake of attention. jack thinks fan’s attitude is both amusing and frustrating, and also thinks he’s kind of brooding? and he probably wonders why he only spends time with xie

4. who felt romantic feelings first?

oh good question jack would admit it to himself first but fan fan did Fan did that little liar would never ever say it but it was him

5. did either of them try to resist their feelings?

*looks at fan* oh no. never. not once. nooooooot at all. definitely didn’t completely deny them until jack confessed.

gen 6. relationships with friends?

jack and xie are good friends! and jack isn’t close to a lot of people in the manor but since i imagine him and helena would get along well outside of the game i think fan would enjoy her company he doesn’t mind the quieter and less. violent survivors lmao

7. who takes the lead in social situations?

if they’re out and about in the manor together it would 100% be jack. he’s not the most social person but b/c of his life prior he’s much more used to putting on a front than fan is

love 8. songs that apply to their relationship? 

oh god i’d have to like. look for some.....Well i tried to find one and that has apparently been dubbed a jacknaib song in my brain but neptune by sleeping at last potentially....it’s angsty and sad but fits most jack relationships bc he’s just a bit of a mess the poor darling.

9. what kind of nicknames do they call each other?

jack uses nicknames/petnames in every other sentence he’s very verbally affectionate. darling/my darling especially with fan though <3 and fan is not super into nicknames but if he’s feeling particularly sentimental dear is his go to. he also calls jack his full name (jack whistler) if jack is being a shit or if fan feels like being a shit <3 <3 <3

domestic 7. how do they celebrate holidays?

both of them are much more inclined to stay in and do something quiet together than go out. they’re the type who would do a bigger gathering with family/friends one day but do their own celebration on a different day with just them. they’re both quite busy most of the time, so quality time together is rare for them but it’s probably the love language for both of them. (or jack’s like second one w/ his first being verbal affection maybe!)

8. who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

*looks at my chasing daybreak fic* well. mister fan wujiu is not a morning person. every time jack tries to get up at 7 in the morning he pouts and every time it works.

9. who’s the better cook?

i don’t remember when/where we established this but i know i definitely established at some point that fan should never be let near a stove unless it is to make tea and i stand by that. jack likes to make him breakfast in bed <3

thank u so much for letting me ramble i love these men god. love and light. ask me abt jackfan!!!

[misssophiachase]

25 days of Klaroline + Favourite Parallel - Klaroline and Warnette (Shatter Me Series) Pic not mine but isn’t it gorgeous?

This isn’t a fusion as such (not this time anyway), mainly because I didn’t want to copy either the books or TVD/TO themes, so I’ve created my own world in between with some Klaroline and Shatter Me touches.  An angsty drabble that I think both Klaroline and Warnette could exist in, if that makes sense?  

To me Warnette are Klaroline. The forbidden love aspect, their vast differences but at the same time their similarities, villainous father figures, the similar character traits (Aaron Warner and Klaus Mikaelson are pretty much the same person, right?)

The book’s author, Tahereh Mafi, apparently said this is her Warnette song, hence the title. It is a stunning piece of musical genius by The Airborne Toxic Event.

Klaus and Caroline were once lovers until a dangerous threat forces them apart abruptly.  Warning: Angst alert.

Sometime Around Midnight

And it starts, sometime around midnight. Or at least that's when you lose yourself for a minute or two.

His attention is focused on the amber liquid, swirling it around the glass. Nothing matters anymore. It hasn’t for a year now.

12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days of dull, grey and lifeless existence. Life was vibrant before. Bathed in a rainbow of colour and filled with happiness and in a love so consuming he couldn’t breathe at times. It was strangely comforting then but the suffocation he feels now, not so much. Being a vampire that says a lot.  

Klaus swallows what’s left, barely tasting it as it slips down his throat. He is as immune to its effects as he is to emotion these days. He pushes the glass across the bar impatiently.

“I’ll take another whiskey,” his voice is gruff, barely audible above the din in the hottest new establishment in Chicago.  The barman doesn’t respond just fills his glass without question.

365 days ago Klaus left her during the night. Cowardly, maybe, but necessary. His father didn’t approve of his relationship with Caroline, said love was a vampire’s greatest weakness and if he was going to lead the Original family against their circling enemies his human distraction would be his biggest downfall. Most families would quarrel but the Mikaelson way to deal with differences was much more violent and permanent. He was as frightened of Mikael as he was their enemies and what they might do to Caroline in a fit of anger.  

He remembered that last night like it was yesterday. She looked so peaceful. She’d thrown off the sheet during the night, a sleeping trait he knew well. The only thing she liked to cover her for warmth was him she’d said once as she straddled his body and feathered kisses along the length of his collarbone. Klaus didn’t think it was possible to be as happy as he was at that very moment. Klaus would gladly be her blanket as long as she’d have him.

Looking at her that night, Klaus felt bitter sweet. Bitter to be leaving but all the sweeter for knowing and loving Caroline Forbes. The moonlight spilled into the bedroom window, the silver shadows dancing across her bare skin as she slept. Her blonde waves were fanned out across the pillow messily. He leant down unable to resist, combing his fingers through the knots he’d caused. She pretended to hate it when he tangled her locks during their intense lovemaking but her ensuing and passionate moans told Klaus she didn’t mind one bit.

Klaus remembers everything. He’s stored it away in a compartment in the dark recesses of his mind but something escapes without warning every now and again. Whether it is the adorable way she pokes out her tongue or the sound of his name rolling off her tongue. 

His hand stilled on her head, closing his eyes and concentrating on what he needed to do to make her forget him forever. 

Klaus disappeared into the night with only a small bag of personal belongings. Photographs of her mainly, even though Klaus knew he would never forget the swell of her breasts or the creamy colour of her skin. Her leather bound journal found it’s way into his bag too. It was filled with some of her most raw and vulnerable thoughts. He told himself it was so she didn’t uncover the truth but Klaus knew he had a much more selfish motive. It was their story and Klaus needed to know it was real for all eternity, that their love wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. 

It is something he still reads daily, desperate to rewind and play back their love story. It is all he has left.

Tomorrow would be just another day. They would go their separate ways and Mikael wouldn’t harm her. His father was not someone to make empty threats and the one against Caroline was all too real if Klaus continued to defy him. This was for the best. But why did it have to hurt so much?

A hush falls over the crowd. Klaus closes his eyes in preparation, steeling his nerves. It has been 365 days since he last saw her and tonight they will come together again.  Just not in the same way as before. Swivelling his barstool to face the stage, his breath hitches in his throat. She appears, an absolute vision in white.

As you stand, under the bar lights. And the band plays some song, about forgetting yourself for a while. And the piano's this melancholy sound check.

Caroline Forbes always wanted to perform. While her friends were talking college courses she envisaged herself on stage singing.  Her mom laughed off her ambition as silly dreams. Caroline, she chided, you need to earn good money and make something of yourself.

So, she’d dutifully studied and taken a finance job straight out of college. To say she was disappointed about how her life turned out was an understatement. Then one day, 365 days earlier, Caroline awoke from a vivid dream and suddenly craved a new life and direction. This time no one would stand in her way. 

Standing here on stage in front of the heaving crowd, she is living her dream. After recently signing a record deal, she will be touring nationally next year. But as much as she loves her new life there always seems to be something or someone missing.  Caroline just isn’t sure what or who that is.

The bar is dimly lit while she performs but she can make out an intense pair of blue eyes from the bar watching her every move. He is handsome, that much is obvious, with deep, crimson lips and blonde hair. A white Henley fitting tightly across his chest, paired with dark, denim jeans. Neither item of clothing doing anything to hide his toned physique.

He seems oddly familiar but she can’t quite place him.

To her smile and that white dress she's wearing. You haven't seen her. For a while.

Klaus isn’t expecting the flood of emotions to engulf him. She is breathtaking. Even more beautiful than since he saw her last. Klaus didn’t think it was possible. The dulcet tones of her voice evoking memories of happier times.

Lying on the tartan, picnic rug in the park, her head resting in the crook of his neck. He ran his hands through her hair as they watched the clouds. It began with some humming and ended in the sweetest song, just for his benefit.  Klaus told her she should sing professionally but she always laughed it off. She jokingly asked if he was going to use his vampire powers to compel her a record deal. He replied that she didn’t need any vampire intervention because her raw  talent was just that good.

The song finishes, Klaus is too deep in thought to notice the music has stopped. Only the applause breaks him from his trance.  She bows slightly to the crowd by way of acknowledgment.

But you know that she's watching.

Then her eyes are on him from across the room and she holds his gaze, almost as if she’s trying to solve a puzzle. Klaus freezes. He should leave but her searching, blue eyes cause immediate paralysis.  

She's laughing, she's turning. She's holding her tonic like a crux.

Her set has long finished. Klaus lingers, unable to move still. He wants to drink in every inch of her flawless presence while he has this brief chance. She is popular with the patrons, everyone offering to buy her drinks while simultaneously praising her performance.  

He’s jealous, his knuckles white as they rest on the bar. His desperation to catch a glimpse of Caroline after so long, his undoing. 

It was twenty one months earlier. Klaus had fought with his father again over family business and he and his younger brother had ventured to a local bar to blow off some steam. 

“I think I’ve died and gone to heaven,” Kol sighed, his gaze focused on the entrance. Klaus didn’t bother to turn around, Kol fell in love with a pretty girl every five minutes. 

“You have died and you certainly never went to heaven,” Klaus groaned. “Are we playing darts or not?” 

“I’m a little busy here, Niklaus,” he murmured, through gritted teeth. “There’s nothing like some fresh, attractive, human blood to liven up the evening.” 

Klaus turned, still disinterested until his eyes rested on her. Her golden waves cascaded down her back and her peaches and cream complexion intriguing him immediately. She looked so angelic but at the same time there seemed to be a mischievous and ambitious glint in her eyes.   

“So, your friend is promising a round of drinks when we beat you at darts,” she said, her floral perfume bringing him to. Klaus looked over at Kol thinking he certainly worked fast. 

“When? Someone’s certainly confident. Oh and he’s my brother but don’t hold it against me, love.” He baulked, unable to help himself. People would describe him as cocky but this girl seemed to be challenging him in those stakes. 

“I’m highly competitive and extremely driven no matter the challenge,” she winked, taking off her jacket and revealing a lithe figure clad in black. Klaus didn’t doubt her talents, she’d certainly disarmed him and he was supposed to be the most powerful creature on earth. “And don’t call me love.”

He walked towards Kol, noticing his dreamy state due to her dark haired friend who was preparing for the challenge. 

“No compelling,” he hissed. 

“But where’s the fun in that?” Kol whined. 

“It’s not about winning, it’s how you play the game, little brother,” he recited. He was sure he’d win anyway but for some reason his conscience decided to make a rare appearance.

Famous last words. She’d beaten them convincingly. Kol had skulked away to lick his wounds and he’d sat at the bar with Caroline, falling in love with her then and there. She was refreshing, she challenged everything he believed in and Klaus was hooked. Now to make her fall in love with him without using his powers.  

“Another one,” he barks, trying to ignore the way men are attempting to paw her unnecessarily. The barman can sense his ire and raises his eyebrows curiously. Before he can compel the idiot again, she speaks. The room suddenly spinning, she walks up and asks how you are. So you can smell her perfume. You can see her lying naked in your arms

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

“I didn’t realise my mother was in the room,” he growls in response. Not exactly what he’s planned to say to her after all this time. Klaus decides to blame it on his burgeoning feelings threatening to spill over and betray him and their past. The fact she is wearing the same floral perfume isn’t helping to maintain his composure either.

“Unfortunately she’s not,” she shoots back, hands on delectable hips. “It’s actually a great pity because if she was, I’m sure she could teach you a few manners.” There's that sexy sass he remembers so well.

“Touché,” he chuckles. “Actually, I was just about to leave so probably don’t need that drink after all.”

“You can’t leave.” Hearing those three words is enough to render him momentarily speechless. “Who is going to teach you those much needed manners if you go?”

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” he offers. “Anyway, it seems like you have plenty of people to keep you company this evening, Miss…”

“Forbes, Caroline Forbes,” she murmurs, her hand unexpectedly finding his. It’s supple and warm, just like he remembers. “And maybe I’m not interested in plenty of other people.”

And so there's a change in your emotions. And all of these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind. Of the curl of your bodies, like two perfect circles entwined.

Klaus doesn’t expect their first touch to affect him quite so much.  Every single memory comes back, like a slideshow racing through his mind. He can’t stop them if he tries. The way she used to caress his stubble while watching a bad television show of her choice, that possessive look on her face when he dared to steal a French fry from her plate and the way her bare skin felt against his. Two lovers so tightly bound in their passion, they were one. 

And you feel hopeless and homeless and lost in the haze. Of the wine

“And you are?” She asks, that sweet, melodic voice doing nothing to ease the knots in his stomach. She regards him earnestly; he knows that particular expression intimately.

“No one important,” he murmurs. “I really need to get going.”

“Past your bedtime?” She deduces, cocking her left eyebrow.

“Something like that, love.”

“Maybe you can come see me sing another night?” Her eyebrows are raised in his direction curiously. Klaus knows that dogged persistence all too well.

You just have to see her. And you know that she'll break you in two.

“Maybe,” he mumbles, shrugging his shoulders while remaining stoic and non-committal. 

He gives her a small smile and walks away, too scared to give a backward glance. He knows he will see her again. In 365 days to be exact. Once a year is all he can handle in her presence.  

On FF HERE

[taylorj8771]

Prompts from this post: the way you said “I love you”. This post is section 2. There will probably be 2 or 3 more posts to get all of the fills written. Section 1 is here

All fills are Sid/Geno, not all in the same verse though some very well could be. These are more established relationship, saying I love you during their day to day interactions but this post has 1 (or 2, depending on how you view it) times where it was the first time said. Also, I’m not very angsty so some of the sadder prompts were interpreted differently than they were likely meant to be.

One of the following is mildly explicit.

With a hoarse voice, under the blankets

Geno’s been having such a hard time since coming to the US. Sidney knows it. Geno often hides himself away on road trips and doesn’t really talk unless he’s been spoken to. He sticks so close to Gonch that sometimes Sidney wonders if he can’t physically stand on his own.

Whenever they’re in Pittsburgh, Geno makes it a point to only attend the team-required functions. Sidney’s gone to Gonch’s before to ask him to dinner or just to get him to hang out; he’s often holed away in his room.

Gonch tells Sidney he’s just having a hard time with being away from home, that he misses his parents and Russia and a language he knows. Sidney understands that probably better than anyone, having to leave his parents and sister behind when he was so young, all the confusing French signs in Rimouski.

Sidney steps up his game and forces Geno into hanging out with him as often as possible. He takes him shopping for new clothes and, after Geno gets his American driver’s license, helps him find a car. It’s not what Sidney would’ve picked but at least Geno smiles whenever he’s behind the wheel.

They’re on a road trip in California when Sidney knocks on Geno’s door but he doesn’t answer. Sidney presses his ear to the door but he can’t hear much. He knocks again and calls through it softly.

Theres a hiccuping sound just before the door pops free of the lock; it doesn’t swing open so Sidney pushes it and walks in. The room is dark but for the one bedside lamp, blackout curtains blocking any light from the city. There’s a bundle under the covers that Sidney assumes is Geno. He sits down on the edge of the bed and rests his hand on Geno’s ankle.

The bundle curls in on itself and the stifled sob makes Sidney’s chest ache. He doesn’t question himself. He just kicks off his shoes and climbs onto the bed, digging through the covers until he can wrap Geno up in his arms. He lets the blankets block out the rest of the world and holds Geno through his tears.

He doesn’t really know what to do, but he keeps Geno close and whispers that it’s okay, that everything will be okay. He tells Geno, “I love you,” through the croak in his throat and hopes Geno understands.

A scream

(AU; hockey player Geno and college student Sidney)

Sidney has to admit that watching the game in person feels good. He hadn’t wanted to go out — finals are fast approaching and he has grades to maintain — but watching Geno Malkin deke around the opposing defense and send his puck top shelf is worth it.

The arena is buzzing with adrenaline and Sidney feels it pumping through him. He feels wreckless for all the right reasons.

The next time Malkin scores, Sidney jumps to his feet with the rest of the crowd behind him. He bangs his hand on the glass right next to Malkin’s head where he’s celebrating with his line mates. Sidney tips his head back and yells with the crowd, “I love you, Geno!”

When he sits back down he notices his friends are all laughing at him but they were on their feet yelling all the same so Sidney doesn’t care. That is, until Malkin takes his next faceoff near where Sidney’s sitting and doesn’t watch the puck at all. He shoots it at the net right from the go and it somehow gets through the goalie. Malkin’s teammates fling themselves at him — his first hat trick in the NHL and Sidney was here to see it! — but Malkin’s looking straight at Sidney, smiling.

Over a cup of tea

Geno’s not a morning person by any means. Sidney learned a long time ago that the best way to wake Geno is not to wake him at all, so that he’s only grumpy at his alarm and not Sidney.

(Once, when they first started spending the nights together, Sidney tried to rouse him in the morning with a blowjob. Sidney wound up with a black eye and no apology. That was the only time he tried.)

So Sidney goes about breakfast while Geno’s still asleep. He starts the kettle and prepares his eggs. When Geno finally comes downstairs, forty minutes since Sidney had, he goes straight for the kettle. It’s only after he takes his first few sips that he’ll even acknowledge Sidney in the room. With a grunt, Geno comes to the table and leans over to kiss Sidney’s hair. He mumbles, “Love you, Sid”, before he takes his seat.

They have to leave for practice in fifteen minutes.

As an apology

“I love you,” Sidney says from his spot in the doorway.

Geno’s barely moved from where they had their argument. His shoulders are still slumped and the television is still on pause.

Sidney barely remembers what it was they were fighting about. It escalated, way too quickly for either of their liking, and it was a full blow fight not long after. Sidney’s been sulking in their bedroom for an hour now. Saying I love you is the only way he knows how to apologize.

Geno tilts his head just a little and Sidney takes it as the invitation it’s meant to be. He hurried across the room and folds himself into Geno’s lap, wrapping his arms around Geno’s neck.

“I love you,” he says again, into the crook. Geno just pulls him closer.

When baking chocolate chip cookies

The kitchen is covered in flour. The stovetop is littered with burnt chocolate chips and Geno is sitting on the floor, resting back against the Island cabinets. He looks so proud of himself.

Sidney joins him there, his apron still on, to watch their cookies bake in the oven across from them.

Geno drapes his arm over Sidney’s shoulder and pulls him into his body. Sidney tips over and presses a quick kiss to Geno’s peck. “Love you.” Together, they split what’s left of the uncooked dough.

A whisper in the ear

Movement in the bed wakes Sidney ever so slightly. He can feel Geno shifting closer, wrapping himself around Sidney and settling into the bed. Sidney’s asleep again between one breath and the next, Geno’s whispered, “я люблю тебя”, echoing in his ear.

As we huddle together, the storm raging outside

Sidney has the blanket tucked around him so tight it’s like a cocoon. Geno’s in there with him, legs intwined and arms wrapped around Sidney. He smiles at him across the small distance between their faces.

Thunder crackles across the sky and Sidney pulls the blanket tighter, lifting it over their heads so the sound is softened. The only light is from the adjustment of their eyes to the darkness and whatever lightning streaks across the sky. Rain is pounding against the windows but in their bubble, Sidney feels completely safe.

“I love you,” he whispers, afraid if he says it any louder that he’ll alter the way time feels like it’s standing still, just for them.

“I love you, too,” Geno whispers back.

In awe, the first time you realised it

Its not a flattering moment by any means. Geno’s hovering over Sidney on the bed and they’re both naked but Geno isn’t hard. He was when they started, as erect as Sidney and just as desperate for his body. Sidney’s lips are definitely bruised so he knows that wasn’t a lie.

Right now feels like a lie. Geno hard through putting on a condom and stretching Sidney open. Geno sighs and just lays down onto Sidney’s body. He’s talking and apologizing but Sidney can’t hear it over the ringing in his ears that keeps whispering how unattractive he must be for Geno not to be able to screw him.

And then Geno cuts to the point. He wants this to be special, their first time. Who cares that they’re thirty and so far removed from virginity that it shouldn’t matter but it does and Geno’s body is resisting because a hotel bed in Calgary is far from what he wanted their first time to be like.

Once Sidney knows not to be self-conscious it hits him like a ton of bricks. He’s special enough to Geno that anything short of perfect just won’t do. And dammit, Sidney’s heart swells three sizes too big for his chest.

He nudges Geno’s head with his chin until Geno pulls back and Sidney can see his face. “I love you,” Sidney says in awe, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of Geno’s mouth. “I love you.”

Before we jump

Sidney’s nerves are shot. He’s been both dreading and longing this day since he and Geno first kissed, always knowing this was the inevitable. He’s got his favorite gray suit on with a slim black tie his hands keep itching to fix. Geno’s slapped his hands enough times that he knows not to reach for the knot again.

Geno’s matching with him, a black suit and gray tie. It’ll help, Jen thinks, for them to look as “in this together” as they actually are.

The reporters just inside the door are starting to get ansty. Jen pats each of their shoulders as she walks by to start the press conference. Sidney bites his lip and turns to face Geno.

Geno smiles at Sidney and starts their ever familiar handshake. He leans in at the end and presses their foreheads together. Sidney’s soul settles in that instance and he just knows they’ll make it through this just fine.

“Love you,” Sidney whispers and pulls back to lead them inside.

[noheroes-allowed]

astrology

lol idk anything about astrology but this youtuber I recently found and already love was talking about it so I looked up my birth chart. and it’s actually really accurate even though I know they make descriptions really vague so it seems applicable to you? but I feel like it’s quite true

“Sun in Cancer natives have a strong survival instinct. They are protective of those they care about, and of themselves too. They are often quite reticent about sharing their inner selves to the rest of the world, and are often caught up in reminisce. Cancers have a reputation for moodiness, although this trait is most evident when the Moon is in Cancer. Cancer needs roots. They resist change to an extent, and concern themselves about being secure and safe in most everything they do. Cancers can be quite intrigued by objects with history attached to them -- antiques, photos, souvenirs, and the like. Cancer is a very sensitive sign, and they don't always appreciate it when you are blunt with them. Their reactions to hurt will depend on how thick a shell they have developed. Most Cancers react by withdrawing or retreating. Some have developed an ability to manipulate others to get what they want. They avoid direct confrontations almost as a rule. Cancers are, in fact, quite yielding and soft when you have them in the right mood. They are one of the more hospitable signs of the zodiac. Sure, they can be touchy and indirect, but they are also very dependable, caring souls. Short description: She weighs words carefully and can be tenacious. A calm and discreet nature, tender, thoughtful, sensitive, and impressionable. Possible issues: She is humble, timid, changeable, indecisive, lazy, or over-sensitive. Easily influenced by the family and sometimes manipulative.”

I definitely think I am very protective and caught up in reminisce and moody. also the change part is especially relevant right now and needing to feel secure and having roots. 

“You take pride in your ability to negotiate, and to establish harmony in your relationships. It is important to you to have a partner, as you feel incomplete without one. You are motivated to become well-liked, and you are especially sensitive to rejection. One of the lessons in your life may be to avoid putting harmony and others' opinions of you above your own needs. Use your social skills and seek out peaceful relations with others, but try not to over-identify with your partnerships and the way you are received by others. You may marry someone with a strong personality.”

loooool sensitive to rejection. I think so yeah, particularly with the job stuff last year, it literally ruined me for months. I’m not sure what it means now though in the context of what I did literally two days ago.   

“You are enterprising and have powerful stores of energy that you can draw upon when needed. You respond to problems or challenges with a spirited and enthusiastic confidence that is admirable. You are naturally competitive, and this trait is generally well-received by others simply because it is unforced, unaffected, and sincere. You truly believe in fair play, and you seem to be in love with life. When you are expressing competitiveness and courage, it's easy for others to smile and accept these traits as positive ones rather than being rubbed the wrong way. You have good physical vitality. Although competitive, you are not naturally combative. You may enjoy sports or games that are competitive, but not violent. Breaking the rules of a competitive game is particularly upsetting to you. You are more able than most to control your desires, aggressions, and instincts. You know how to be fair, and you expect others to be fair. As such, sneaky behaviors, uncontrolled impulses, violence, and rage are offensive to you.“

idk if I would say I respond to challenges with confidence lol. I am naturally competitive though but at times I try to tamper that down by pretending I don’t care and giving up early rather than trying with all my effort and losing.

“Endowed with generosity and friendliness, in some ways you appear to be lucky in life. You attract good things with a positive frame of mind and a charitable disposition. Rarely entirely "down and out", you are usually well-received, helpful, and well-informed. You may enjoy travel and have a special affection for foreign places and people. You're generally not very competitive, and for the most part not combative either. As a result, you are usually well-liked. You are usually good-hearted, possessing strong morals and much faith in life and in people. You prefer to find the good in situations and in people. You don't have a lot of patience with those who break the rules, as you generally believe in order, equality, and the law. You usually make good on your promises, and the sincerity you exude can be trusted. Looking on the bright side is your forte--people can turn to you for a pleasing dose of faith and optimism. You are quick to chuckle and can't resist any appeal to your sense of humor. Some people with this aspect are downright jolly. Others are less conspicuous, but their faith in life and willingness to find humor in life are nevertheless obvious.”

in general, I hope this is true. I was really angsty as a teenager but I hope I’ll have a better frame of mind in the future and be good-hearted. I also do think I am quick to chuckle. in 6th grade, the language arts teacher gave out superlatives and mine was like the one who always laughs at jokes.

“She may face conflicts in life due to a projection of character that does not match what is on the inside. Misrepresentation of the self can be frequent. She must strive to understand how others perceive her and work on presenting a more accurate persona to the world, or she will rub people the wrong way or feel unrecognized and misunderstood.”

oops. yeah I’ve definitely rubbed people the wrong way and felt unrecognized/misunderstood. 

“While others may find security and comfort in material things, Moon in Scorpio people seek out emotional intensity. No matter what, there is something very intense about Lunar Scorpios. They are diggers when it comes to the world of emotion--they can see beyond facades and cut right to the core of a person. This ability to "see" what isn't obvious to the rest of the world can be intimidating to others or wildly attractive, depending on the audience. Their deep-seated need for transformation and rebirth can manifest itself in the lives of Lunar Scorpios in different ways. Most have powerful, emotionally intense lives. Some feel like it is beyond their control -- these natives seem to attract emotional upheaval, and their lives appear to consist of plenty of dramatic ups and downs. However, when accepted as an emotional need, rebirth and change doesn't need to be so dramatic and overwhelming. In some way or the other, Moon in Scorpio natives seek out intense experiences. If their lives are regular in any way, there can be an unconscious need to test their own strength and stir up emotional excitement. Self-awareness and acceptance is probably the best way to handle this deep need for emotional drama. Doing things halfway or having meaningless relationships simply doesn't fulfill them. Lunar Scorpios want all or nothing. Moon in Scorpio people often have a strong fear of betrayal. They seek out commitment, and feel the need for a partner to give up something for them. Some will put the people they love through a series of tests, and these are not always conscious. Their apparent suspicion can be trying for the people who love them. However, once committed, Moon in Scorpio people can be the most loyal and protective partners around. Even the shy ones have enormous presence. Their lives are emotion-driven, yet many Moon in Scorpio natives spend a lot of time controlling and mastering their emotions. Their intuition is enormous, although it is sometimes self-serving. Moon in Scorpio people radiate strength. Even in the absence of experience, they seem to "just know" things. It would be difficult to shock or scare away Lunar Scorpios in the face of emotional honesty and power. Some people instinctively want to lean on them, and other less brave folk run a little scared. Lunar Scorpios have exceptional "radar" that allows them to size up a situation--and a person--quickly and expertly. This ability to understand human motivation and nature can be too close for comfort for some, and enormously comforting for others. Many Lunar Scorpios are intelligent and astute. Those that use their enormous powers for intimacy and honesty are the happiest, and they make the most interesting and rewarding friends and lovers. Short description: Courageous, brave, independent, not a fearful nature. A very sensual and progressive person. Potential issues: excesses of pleasures, difficulty letting go.”

omfg. this is me. this is literally me. emotional intensity? cutting right to the core of a person? emotional upheaval? difficulty letting go? I think the third paragraph is generally true for what I want in life. idk was this something I was supposed to learn about myself when I was 18? am I making the mistakes now? 

“Changes of situation. She is frightened of getting old and tends to hark back to the past. Perhaps more strongly influenced by the father. Success often due to help from women. This position of the Moon indicates an emotional need for recognition, popularity, acknowledgement, and achievement. You can be quite charismatic. You are at your emotional best when you lead a structured and responsible life, but it can take time to get there. You may change your goals and ambitions, and/or your profession frequently in an attempt to find the perfect fit. You may worry about living up to your image, or the expectations of your family. Decisions may be too emotionally biased, or you might act on emotional whims far too often. Learning to set your own heartfelt goals is the challenge here, as it is unlikely you will find true happiness if you follow or adopt the expectations of others, which you are especially sensitive to. You can take on a nurturing or managerial role, quickly adapting to trends.“

I am frightened of getting old. I do have a need for achievement and acknowledgement I think. I am not charismatic though. also changing goals and ambitions? is this foreboding what is to come? I don’t think I make decisions based on emotional whims though, like deciding to follow through with cornell from umd was the most logical decision I made that wrecked me emotionally for months after. I do think learning to set my own heartfelt goals is the challenge I’m facing, not getting caught up in the need for recognition alongside everyone right now. I guess I do follow/adopt the expectations of others then now that I think about it. me following what everyone else is doing and constantly comparing myself to their achievements and superficially wanting people to recognize the company I work for, though I’m trying to separate myself from that now. I think knowing that keith is doing that although to a much larger extent than I am, makes me feel less alone and more encouraged to do so. 

“Because you value harmony, you may find yourself giving in to others too easily, especially in the first half of life. Resentment is possible, as you can feel that you are the one who seems to do all the acquiescing. There can be a distinct tendency to become friends (and lovers) with people too readily, simply because there is a strong need for approval and a hunger for receiving affection. As such, you may get involved with people who seem to really like you, and you fail to consider whether you actually like them back! It's somewhat of a weakness, as you are very charmed by the idea that someone seems to really like and appreciate you. Generally, one of your life's lessons is to learn to discriminate more and to get in touch with what you truly want and need. The functions of the Moon (which rules the emotions and feelings, amongst other things) and the functions of Venus (which rules social relationships, harmony, and partnership, amongst other things) are at cross-purposes. When you attempt to feed the needs of one function, it is often at the expense of the other, until you find some sort of balance. This can play out in a variety of ways. For example, there can be conflicts in partnerships about parenting or whether or not to have a family. You may find yourself compromising your own emotional needs in order to find and keep love. Peace and harmony are important to you--perhaps too much so, as you can easily be taken advantage of. Insecurity is something that you need to deal with at some point in your life. Very sensual, you sometimes replace love with food or shopping! You can also be quite sexually active and sometimes quite lustful. You possess a distinct lazy streak. You are capable of working hard, but you truly appreciate luxuriating and enjoying as many pleasures as possible, and self-discipline simply isn't always at your disposal! While she is usually sweet and gracious, she can also be inconstant and capricious at times, possessing a changeable nature. A varied love life, ups and downs, unusual ideas.“

hm I feel like this isn’t quite true. I don’t think I get involved with people who seem to really like me and fail to consider if I actually like them back? I am charmed by the idea of someone liking me though. also it may be a little true that I need to get in touch with what I truly want and need bc I had a really hard time determining what I wanted from keith, and I was trying to understand first before saying anything bc if what I wanted wasn’t even anything romantic than there was no need to tell him. I just had a lot of difficulty differentiating platonic/romantic wants and needs? and I’m not sure if me being so fine right now means that I didn’t even want the romantic parts deep down, and I still can’t quite answer the question of what I wanted from him. “insecurity is something that you need to deal with at some point in life.” “sometimes replace love with food or shopping.” uhhhhhhhh 

“When the Moon is in hard aspect to Saturn in the natal chart, natives need to learn to trust others more. Fear keeps them from fully enjoying personal relationships, and fear is behind the occasional rigidity that they express. When they let themselves receive nurture or care from others, an inner voice cautions them that it might not be sincere, long-lasting, or enough! There can be some reluctance about becoming a parent, but once taken on, these people don't take their responsibility lightly. Emotional reticence is the main theme of these aspects. Many people with this aspect had a lot of conditions placed on the love they received in early childhood. They tend to expect the same later in life. With hard Saturn aspects, individuals are often plagued with doubts, not only about the self but about what to expect from life itself. The problem is that expecting difficulties or negative situations creates an aura around them that perpetuates the problem. They must work hard at positive thinking and expecting more from life. Ironically, many people with hard Saturn aspects can be quite sarcastic, skeptical, and rigid in manner. This is essentially a defense mechanism designed to protect themselves from harshness in the world. It is extremely likely that they feel neglected because they perceive it in the first place, and later expect it, to be the case. There's a vicious circle going on here that can only be broken when the patterns created by negative conditioning are broken. Adjusting one's perceptions and expectations is the key to breaking out of these negative patterns. Otherwise, natives of hard Moon-Saturn aspects will live life feeling left out--attracting circumstances that perpetuate a feeling of deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

Short description: She has changeable moods, a reserved character, can be stubborn and may lack assurance. Her relationship with a guardian may have been difficult or a challenging early family life in some cases.

She may at times suffer from an almost feverish, non-constructive restlessness. She is too susceptible. Her life can be full of change or the emotions are often in a state of flux. Also, frequent changes of mind. She is irritable and stubborn at times due to an inner restlessness that is hard to satisfy. She can have difficulty concentrating on a job, although is capable of much if allowed to move from task to task to alleviate extreme boredom with routine. Nervous strain. Her friendships may be like her professional and love life - sometimes unstable or erratic. There is a strong need for closeness, but when people get too close, she can get cagey, as she values personal freedom just as much.”

I feel called out. the first sentence of the short description cannot be more true.

“She communicates with feeling, endearing others with words. She is reflective and has one of the best memories around. She feels people out and can be quick to pick up emotions and moods. She is discerning and full of insight, lucid, and thinks things through. She likes to please and to create a good impression. There can be a strong tendency to be influenced by those around her.

May avoid at all costs being alone. She has lots of friends, enjoying discussions and similarly cultivating plenty of work friends. She loves to write. You have a great love of debate, if only to get closer to your own thoughts and opinions. Bouncing ideas off others helps you to make a decision, although coming to definite conclusions can be painfully difficult for you. You see the other side of the coin. You might often play devil's advocate. Communication with a partner is craved, and you also love an audience for your own thoughts and opinions, but preferably a one-person audience, as you come alive verbally when it's one-on-one. You can be quite skilled at keeping a partnership animated and alive with interesting tidbits, new ideas, and stimulating conversation. You can easily become bored in partnership if the lines of communication go down, even temporarily. You might also love to talk about and analyze relationships and marriage.”

omg. reflective and best memories around and feels people out and thinks things through and get closer to my own thoughts and come alive verbally one-on-one and analyze relationships. wow. avoiding all costs being alone though? I don’t think so.

“While her spirit is lively, it is also cunning. She often acts without thinking, she often throws herself into things and can often exaggerate or can have a strong sense of drama - and this can bring certain problems. She is nervous and sometimes irascible. She can develop others' ideas -- while others hesitate, she is quicker to jump in, pressing on. Quick to debate, challenge. Quick-minded.

She is frivolous and imprudent at times. She may lack judgement, and may be full of self-importance. She can have difficulty realizing her plans largely because she lacks clarity and she often overshoots.

She misjudges, but very imaginative. She lets things happen, and is happy to stay in her dreamworld. Confronted by reality, she is hesitant, anxious about being tested and can fall back into her imaginary world.

Can be provocative in speech or communications, persuasive, interesting conversationalist, quick to see the flaws of a situation.

She has no specific aim in life. She might frequently change jobs or might bore easily, needing variety to keep interest in something, may be inconstant but likes change which gives her the feeling of living intensely. Lots of activity as far as love is concerned - she may enjoy a full sex life.”

hm lots of contradictions here

“When Venus in Leo people are in love, they are proud, even boastful. This position of Venus can turn humble Virgo Suns or retiring Cancer Suns into somewhat demanding lovers. Venus in Leo loves to court and be courted, and they need to feel very special. They are warm, generous, and even grand. Though really quite loyal to their partners (remember that love is THE most important thing in Leo's life), they thrive on attention from lovers or love interests. Be prepared for their displays: they will tell you about any advances made on them. Remember, they're just showing off to you, and it's likely harmless. It's a different story if you do the same, however. That's when you'll hear the lion roar...and, no doubt, you'll want to keep these cats purring. Venus in Leo wants to appear experienced in love, even if they have little or no experience whatsoever! Venus in Leo people have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you'll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. They are threatened by a relationship that appears to have settled too much, or one that's lost its spark. They are also threatened by indifferent or impersonal behavior on your part. Although their needs for physical expression through sex are generally quite strong, their need for love is perhaps even stronger. It is hard for Venus in Leo people to separate love and sex, and even their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and affection. For this reason, few Venus in Leo folk would last long in a relationship that is mostly sexual. On the flip side, they may last longer in a love-only relationship in the absence of satisfying sex, but they are unlikely to feel very satisfied.

Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying loads of attention to them. If you're willing to make only one adjustment in your ways, it should be to remind Leo how wonderful they are. Respect and appreciate them, always. Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. They want to be seen as attractive by you, so avoid (at all costs!) putting them down in this area. They actually lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest in their partner, and you can expect that any letdown will be acted out in a dramatic fashion. Remind them, in a gentle way, that your emotions count too. If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know. Remember, to Venus in Leo, your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well. Let them decide where to go on a date, and let them pay too. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

Short description: Sincere, frank, and warm affections. She is full of tenderness. High hopes in love. She likes to live and satisfy her passions to the fullest. Can be possessive and might even seduce for the sake of seducing to prove to herself that she is attractive. Very proud in love, and warm-hearted and generous with loved ones.”

“Not frightened by the unknown. Sometimes this position means she has a peaceful and happy or natural end of life. Possible inheritance. Intensity is what you seek in your love relationships, so that casual encounters are not necessarily your game. You are easily bored with mechanical interactions between partners, and might prefer drama in your relationships to anything mundane or superficial. However, you also fear being vulnerable in love, and, in youth, you may control your emotions in love. Fears of being betrayed may be at the heart of your somewhat jealous and possessive nature in love. When you give yourself over to love, you love wholeheartedly and expect all-consuming, total devotion and attention in return. You find passion a healing force in your life. Your charm runs deep--just below the surface. You are attracted to all that is taboo, hidden, forbidden, and find beauty in the broken, disenchanted, obsessed, and passionate. In some cases, people with this position might make a business out of love, romance, and eroticism. There is an intensity about you that others pick up readily. Either they run or they are completely intrigued!”

“She is hard or reserved at times, and doesn't always know how to express her emotions. She may be frightened of showing her love, and this can lead to disappointments, break-ups, lack of satisfaction. She has doubts, can be suspicious, worries too much, possibly jealous but more likely insecure. She will learn how to be happy in love, to be at ease with herself and to control her jealousy or gain more assurance and sense of self-worth in the second half of her life, possibly thanks to a mature person, who helps her learn to trust.

She may look for new sensations in love and might often feel unsatisfied by connections that quickly turn into purely conventional relationships. She likes novelty, adventure, the eccentric. She is frivolous, unstable, or inconstant. Marriage is not usually for her and, if she does throw herself into this adventure, it may eventually be considered a youthful mistake. There can be numerous love affairs or off-and-on relationships. There is a tendency to react spontaneously and intensely to others, and there is marked emotional impulsiveness. Perhaps her most successful relationships are unconventional ones. She may delight in defying convention. She has considerable romantic charm and humor. There can be sudden relationship status changes, and a marked inner craving for emotional excitement.

This aspect indicates diplomacy and attractiveness. There is a certain luck in meeting others at the right times. There is skill in harmonizing and much desire to cooperate rather than compete.”

“Mars in Libra natives often reflect about things before they act. Decisiveness is not their strong point, but they do, eventually, get things done. Many people with this position procrastinate, generally because they feel the need to weigh all of the alternatives before taking action. Life isn't always fair, as Mars in Scorpio would say, but Mars in Libra will seldom accept this notion. These natives can easily get caught up in defending themselves and others. Although their overall goal is to live peacefully, they stir others up with their desire to balance everything. Still, they always play innocent when they are challenged, and can generally charm the birds out of the trees to win your favor. Passive-aggressiveness is practically the hallmark of this position. They don't want to look like they are ever being mean or unfair, but aggression has to go somewhere! Too often, this results in sneaky behavior and subterfuge. On the other hand, some Mars in Libra people turn the Mars energy into action, and they fight for Libran justice and fairness in the world. On the up side, Mars in Libra people are adept at predicting when problems and discord will occur well in advance. They know how to compromise and are excellent at conflict management.

She devotes lots of energy to work, and this can continue well into old age. She is a dedicated worker, not afraid of getting down to it. She improves upon her living conditions, rising above her station at birth. She can complete long-term tasks successfully and with finesse. She is easily excitable, often quick to become upset and in the same vein criticizes even herself.

She often refuses to accept any guidance. She can sometimes lack forethought, acting impulsively and sometimes imprudently, which can cause problems. She wants everything yesterday and might use whatever means necessary to achieve her objectives, even if questionable. Her emotional life can be fraught with quarrels and or conflicts due to quick, passionate reactions. She can be very enthusiastic and hopeful.    

She has a good sense of organization. She knows how to make the necessary decisions rapidly, she is independent but will pour a lot of her energy into achieving social and professional success.”

“She attracts the most good fortune when taking the lead, initiating, inspiring, and demonstrating enthusiasm and courage. She believes in the power of positivity, that life is what you make of it. Likes competition, doing things independently.

She likes and believes in justice. She is an optimist and is generous. Professional success is rapid and helped by the family. Family life is very important to her. She likes comfort, well-being at home. She knows how to entertain in style and above all with pleasure; her house is always open to friends.

She is easily influenced. She is a dreamer, perhaps allowing herself to be seduced by others' fine words which are not always sincere or by a new imagined plan that may not materialize. She does not see wickedness right away, preferring to give the benefit of the doubt, but can often be duped by others due to a philosophy that one should trust in people until they prove themselves untrustworthy. She likes meeting friends, enjoying a good meal and cordial atmospheres. She is pleasant, jovial, and engaging. She aims big and may often be disappointed with small advancements or successes, wishing that these were bigger or better. She may bring every conversation around to herself, which is a tendency that should be kept in check. She has highs and lows in her professional life.”

“She doesn't like to see greed or waste in others. Must not shun materialism and possessiveness completely, and learn to build up a sense of being "deserving" of some pleasures in life.

She may often feel dominated. She has a good sense of organization and accepts her responsibilities. She achieves her objectives in spite of slow progress, with some hurdles to overcome. She is persevering and patient, very stable. She does not like routine, whether at work or in her emotional life. She fights to keep her independence, her freedom of action. She would gladly re-make the world.

She has a lot of flair. She can be unreliable, inconsistent, or erratic at work, always ready for change, although with some changes in routines and dedication, can do brilliant work. She may do best with an out-of-the-ordinary job, in which case all goes well: otherwise, she might often change jobs and or financial ups and downs. She must have a job that allows her many freedoms, something non-routine. She likes change, possesses a lot of energy and knows how to influence others in spite of her originality.”

“Generosity, especially enjoying resolving problems in order to satisfy everyone.

She is intuitive, sensitive. Not a fighter and can be indecisive. Usually projects an image of softness. May have some identity problems until she decides on a more spiritual or artistic path. May be psychic or simply strongly intuitive. Gentle and yielding. Changeable appearance or image, particularly if Neptune is close to the Ascendant. She is perceptive and able to see layers to a situation. She is naturally drawn to learning what makes herself and others tick.

Love can dominate her life. She lives her love life to the fullest, and can be very passionate. Her partner may have problems on the professional level, but she is always there to give support. If the partner loses their job and their rhythm of life has to change, she accepts this. She is a lover, and faithful - the most important thing is that they love each other.”

“Great aspirations: sexuality and love are idealized. She may lead a double life. She may have a secret love affair while having a good relationship with her partner. Most with this aspect, however, are highly perceptive and can keep a secret. Alternative views of relationships are likely.”

“She may have felt uncomfortable or even ashamed for her curiosity, questions, restlessness, the need to challenge and question life/facts/beliefs, or the need to get away, expand, and seek meaning. She may feel uncomfortable around people who are expressing these Sagittarian traits, not quite trusting them! Learning to accept and even embrace these traits without apology can be empowering. It can also help end a cycle of going to extremes with these traits.

She can be a friend to many but may stumble a little when things get too personal. Her path is to embrace her individuality and to allow herself to be the center of attention or to strike out on a unique creative path. She is learning to be more personal and less intellectual when expressing her feelings. Qualities to develop: Intimacy, sharing, self-expression. She should watch for holding too tightly to her ways and things for fear of change, as this can limit her and her opportunities. Qualities to develop: sharing, intimacy, willingness to go deep.”

“House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life. Cancer with ascendant Sagittarius Ascendant is Sagittarius The world is filled with adventure, new things to experience, and, most of all, hope, with this Ascendant. There is an unmistakable faith and enthusiasm with Sagittarius rising people. Grand schemes, big promises, and a willingness to explore and experiment are themes, although follow-through is not a strong characteristic of Sagittarius. These individuals are somewhat restless and often active people. They always seem to be looking for something that is just out of grasp -- and many do this their entire lives. They can be quite direct at times, yet they are likable enough to forgive for their faux-pas. Most have a lot to say and offer. Their insights and opinions are usually interesting and exciting, although sometimes lacking in details. Sagittarius rising people have opinions about everything, and they just love telling others exactly what they are. Not all people with this position are outgoing folk, but they all have a way of moving about that at least exudes a certain level of confidence. Some might even call them naive or overly optimistic. Even the quiet ones don't shrink from life and from experience. One of the most obvious and endearing traits of Sagittarius rising is their willingness to keep up a sense of humor. Even when they're feeling low, they manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever they do have. The placement of Sagittarius' ruling planet, Jupiter, will give more clues to how they go about expressing themselves. Jupiter in Capricorn, for example, might give a more sarcastic approach, but underneath there lies an unmistakable hope and spirit for living. House II - the second house - is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions. Aquarius on House II Success in professional life won't take place without the help of friends and protectors. While she may earn enormous amounts, she can lose almost as much. Best financial success through networking with others. Might succeed in business on the internet. Most profitable businesses may be unusual or innovative ones. Efforts should be made to better organize finances. House III - the third house - is the area of social and intellectual learning. Pisces on House III Ideas are somewhat changeable, and her humor as well. Travel, sea voyages or work connected with the sea. House IV - the fourth house - is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth. Aries on House IV Lots of authority within the family. She knows how to take the destiny of the family in hand, to take charge. She is very energetic, very strong, knowing how to cope with life's setbacks. House V - the fifth house - is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling. Taurus on House V A pleasant home, a charming partner, loving and sweet children, nice little meals, pleasant evenings with the loved one -- the good life. House VI - the sixth house - is the area of learning by material transaction. Gemini on House VI Good assistant, sales rep, jack of all trades. Weak point: the nerves, sometimes also the lungs. House VII - the seventh house - is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action. Gemini on House VII Can marry or partner quite young. A second partnership may have less passion but a lot of friendship. Can be frightened of living alone in old age. She may prefer others do the talking much of the time. House VIII - the eighth house - is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul. Leo on House VIII She should probably watch for a tendency to want to control joint resources, but she can be generous with others. Proud. It's wise to have regular check-ups on the heart and arteries. House IX - the ninth house - is the area of learning that shapes the identity. Virgo on House IX She is devoted to all causes that bring comfort or help to people in difficulty. House X - the tenth house - is the area of material action. The Midheaven represents the work one will do in one's life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older. Libra on House X Contacts of all kinds will lead to social success, professional, through marriage, etc. She likes society life, friendships that could help professionally. Sometimes jobs connected with justice, but frequently involved with important and influential people. House XI - the eleventh house - is the area of search for social and intellectual security. Scorpio on House XI She likes to debate endlessly with friends who don't share her ideas. The discussion can lead to words or even verbal sparring. House XII - the twelfth house - is the area of education and of emotion. This is where we meet our karma, deal with endings, and sometimes where we bury things. Sagittarius on House XII Problems abroad, or with foreigners, or flight abroad, exile is possible in extreme cases.”