#either a laptop or give me money for my bad spending habits

[greenshirtguystuff]

Sorry I haven't posted in a hot min, I'm currently pretending to be a ghost because I'm not supposed to be home right now

[matbarzyy]

Wasted Love (part 2) [T.S.]

A/N: Wow look at me post part two soon after I started the series! Now I need to hurry up and write the third part but that’s a tomorrow problem. Thank you to everyone who told me what they thought of the start of the series, it really means the world and I hope you’ll like this part too <3

Word count: 2445

Warnings: an abusive boyfriend

.

“Hello you,” Tyler grinned as he fist bumped her as a greeting. It was hard to do anything else over her desk, and it was now a habit between her and all the guys on the team. “How’s your day going?”

“It’s been good,” Alessia smiled back effortlessly, leaning back into her chair to rest her back for a minute. “How was practice?”

“Pretty fun, we’re all going out for dinner tonight with a few other people, if you want to join,” He threw it out there because it was a work thing and he had never seen her out with everyone before. Alessia only ever joined when everyone was getting lunch somewhere together. Most of the people she worked with were older than her, and predominantly men too. Tyler knew it might be hard for her to be included in plans.

“Oh, thanks, but um, I’ve got to be home with my boyfriend tonight,” She said it with a little sigh, and that prompted Tyler to poke a little bit further.

“Is everything okay at home?” He leaned against the wall with a slight frown. Ever since he had met Alessia he had felt protective of her. She was one of the youngest people working for the team, and she was slowly discovering the industry. He didn’t doubt that she had the skills to do amazing, or she would never have gotten hired, but he liked to keep an eye on her to make sure she was fine.

“We had a little fight, nothing to worry about,” She admitted with a shrug. “I had plans with friends and he got a little annoyed that I haven’t been spending enough time with him, and them my friends got pissed that I cancelled so… yeah, it’ll blow over in a day or two,”

“That sucks, I’m sorry,” He didn’t know what to tell her, she would clearly annoy either her friends or boyfriend no matter what she did now. “You guys been living together long?”

“Almost six months, yeah,” Alessia nodded. “It’s nice, plus rent is so much cheaper divided by two,” She chuckled and Tyler faked a little laugh too.

“Fair enough. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” He stopped himself from mentioning how fucked up that sounded.

Sure, regular people had to worry about money a little more than he did, but he was still sure mentioning saving money to describe how great it was to live with a boyfriend was messed up. He had expected her to say she was happy to see him more often, to come home to him every night, to wake up to him in the morning.

“Of course,” Alessia cut him off from his thoughts, and Tyler pushed himself off the wall.

“Good luck tonight, I hope things settle down at home,” He said it sincerely, but a little voice in the back of his mind nagged him. He didn’t hope things would settle down. He hoped she would break up with the guy that clearly wasn’t giving her the happiness she deserved.

“Thanks Ty,” She waved as he left, and he gave her one last smile before he was out of sight.

.

The fact that Jordan didn’t like it when she spent a night with her friends didn’t sit well with Tyler. It bothered him the first time she told him, but after a couple of weeks he noticed a pattern. Whenever Alessia had plans with a friend it had to be lunch, if it was at night the plans would either get cancelled or she’d show up in a bad mood the next day because she argued with her boyfriend.

Their relationship was obviously fucked up, and Tyler didn’t feel like sitting around and letting her be sad. Surely her boyfriend wouldn’t be able to say anything if she stayed out at night for a work event, so he invited her for drinks with the team and a few other people in admin and services that they got along with.

“Be careful Tyler,” Jamie shook his head disapprovingly as they got changed for their morning skate. “She’s taken,”

“I know that,” The other man grumbled. “We let everyone else we like come along, she’s cool, why wouldn’t I invite her?”

“Because you obviously like her, and she’s got a boyfriend,” Jamie was far from stupid and he knew his friend all too well.

“I’m not trying to make a move, the guy’s an asshole though,” Tyler laced up his skates, huffing as he pulled them on tightly.

“Sounds like someone’s jealous.” The bearded man used a teasing tone as he finished adjusting his own gear.

“I’m not,” Was he?

“Just don’t get into something messy, okay? She’s also just twenty two,” Jamie added. The whole scenario screamed recipe for disaster and he didn’t want to see what would go down if Tyler actually let himself fall for her.

“Way to make me feel old Jamie, thanks for that,” Tyler patted his friend’s shoulder and headed out of the locker room, ready to clear his mind on the ice for a while.

.

The bar was relatively quiet that night if you made an abstraction of the team of giants in green taking up most of the space. Alessia was sitting at the bar on one of the far ends, her hair falling in front of her face to hide herself.

“Is that apple juice?” Tyler slid into the seat next to hers with his own drink, lifting her curtain of hair and pushing it behind her shoulder.

“Yeah, work in the morning, remember?” She smiled, and he couldn’t help but notice how cute she was when the side of her eyes crinkled like that.

“I’ve got practice in the morning too, it’s one drink, won’t kill me,”

“I’m half your size with no muscles, my alcohol tolerance is low,” she chuckled when she saw the whiskey in his hand. One of those was enough to give her a headache. “Besides I’m driving, and I don’t want to see Jordan’s face if I come home after drinking at a work thing,”

“So what? He doesn’t like it when you hang out with your friends, he doesn’t like it when you drink, so you’re just not gonna do anything you want to do?” Tyler cocked his head to the side, pointing out everything he didn’t like about the guy while she shrugged.

“I don’t want to drink, and it’s not stupid of him to say, it’s Tuesday night. It’d be different on a weekend,” Alessia defended him and made it all sound like her own decision, but he was far from stupid.

“Fair enough,” Tyler cleared his throat to move on to something a bit more cheerful. Just hearing the name Jordan got on his nerves and he wanted the night to be fun. “Hey look! Jamie needs someone on his team,” He pointed over to the three men around the pool table. “Do you know how to play?”

“Absolutely not,” she curled further into her seat and a wide grin spread over Tyler’s face.

“Time to learn then!” He put a hand on her arm and gently tugged her up after him.

The guys were generally competitive, but considering that it was her first game they used it to teach her rather than try to win. Jamie and her took turns with Tyler coaching her from the side and showing her how to place her hands or telling her what angle she’d need to hit the ball at.

“Here,” He chuckled, standing close behind Alessia and gently grasping her wrist to adjust her.

He ignored the warning look he received from Jamie and went on with his instructions before stepping back, letting her do the rest on her own.

“Dude, you call her Allie?” Jamie groaned when Alessia was gone. “I’ve seen you like this before and you’re so fucked. You can’t have her,”

“It’s not like that!” He tried to defend himself but his friend didn’t buy it. “Fine, maybe I like her, but we’re just friends. I’m not doing anything,”

“Just don’t be stupid, okay?” The older man warned him again but he dismissed it as he had done every other time.

“It’s a nickname Jamie, not a proposal.”

.

The more Alessia went out for drinks at the end of the night the more she got along with the guys on the team. She didn’t talk to all of them, but Tyler, Jamie and their closer friends were now also her friends. It was refreshing to have a group of people close to her outside of home, and she loved to spend her evenings with them before she came home.

The lack of time she spent home translated into hurtful comments and reactions from Jordan almost daily. It was exhausting, but Tyler was always there to lift her mood in the morning so she found it all worth it. She blamed it on Jordan’s job being stressful at the moment, and on most nights they made up rather quickly with a little bit of effort on her part.

“I’ve just got a couple of emails to reply to,” Alessia opened her laptop on thursday night and Jordan huffed.

“Well maybe you wouldn’t need to do that at night if you weren’t always out with those people having drinks.” He stood in front of her across the table, arms crossed over his chest.

“I never even drink,” She defended herself, typing her reply while trying to ignore Jordan’s grumbles in the background. “It’s good for my career if I have contacts,”

“Enjoy your career then, just go take care of that and forget I exist,” he walked around to stand next to her and Alessia turned to him.

“Jordan I’m not-” she started but got cut off immediately.

“Are you sleeping with one of them? Uh? Is that how you’re building your career? Fucking some rich asshole behind my back?” His voice rose and her eyes widened.

“Of course not!” She insisted, flinching when he yelled.

“I’m always here taking care of you!” He stomped forward and Alessia felt her hands shake. “And yet you’re never here when I come home!”

“I’m sorry, Jordan, please,” she said quietly, trying her best to calm him down.

Jordan only shook his head at her, turning on his heels with her trailing close behind. She wanted to fix things, the emails could wait until morning. He didn’t seem to be in the same mindset as he got to the bedroom and turned around with a glare.

“You can stay out here until you’ve sorted out your priorities.” He slammed the bedroom door, missing her face by a few inches and turning the lock.

Alessia remained still behind it, in shock for a full minute.

Knowing he wouldn’t calm down too fast, she went back to her work and quickly did everything she needed to catch up on. She hoped he had settled down as she walked over to the bedroom with a yawn and tried for the door. It was still locked, so she knocked on it softly.

No answer came from the other side. She could hear him moving in bed, but he didn’t even care enough to get up.

Alessia held back her tears and went back to the couch, eyeing the laundry drying on the rack in a corner of the living room. At least she should still be able to throw a decent work outfit together in the morning. The same couldn’t be said for pajamas, there were no casual clothes drying and Jordan didn’t like it when she wore his stuff.

It was too cold to sleep without clothes on, especially with a small throw blanket rather than the comfy thick duvet that she normally had in bed. So, Alessia found herself with her legs bare and a slightly scratchy sweater on her upper body to stay warm as she curled up on the couch.

.

When she made it to the office in the morning she felt like crying. She had barely slept, she was exhausted both mentally and physically and she was already dreading the night ahead of her.

“What do you need?” She nearly growled when Tyler strolled into her office without a knock.

“Uh, never mind,” he swallowed and took a small step back.

“Okay?” Alessia looked up from her screen with an eyebrow raised, waiting on his next move. Did he need her or was he just standing there for no reason?

“I don’t really want to make you work right now, I don’t mean to be rude, but you look like shit,” Tyler unfroze a few seconds later and pulled a chair out to sit across from her.

“Thanks Ty,” A dry chuckle fell from her lips, and she rubbed her hands over her face. “I’m kinda sleep deprived,”

“What happened?” He stopped himself from reaching over to move her hair away from her face.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Alessia sighed. “Jordan and I were arguing over something dumb, I spent the night on the couch and it’s ridiculously uncomfortable,”

“It’s not dumb if you didn’t even want to go back to bed,” Tyler gently pryed a little further.

“More like he didn’t want me in there,” she rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair and fiddling with a pencil. She was staring at her hands rather than at him because she could already guess what he was about to say.

“I know it’s none of my business,” Tyler said it slowly so that he could think over his words. “But you’re my friend, and your relationship sounds really fucked up,”

“I swear it’s not as bad as it sounds, besides it’s just one night,” Alessia argued weakly, she always tried to defend him, she always had an excuse.

“You’re old enough to make your own decisions,” He shrugged. Tyler was good at hiding how furious he was, it wasn’t directed towards her so she didn’t need to see it. “But it he was mad enough to refuse to sleep next to you, he should have been the one taking the couch,”

“He’s not a bad person,” Alessia looked up then, but her words weren’t convincing.

“You know him better than I do, I guess,” Tyler let out a long sigh. He didn’t know what else to say to her, and he was afraid that pushing her would stop her from confiding in him in the future. “Call me if that happens again, okay? I live fifteen minutes away, I’ve got three empty guest rooms, and I’m sure they’re more comfortable than your couch.”

.

Please reblog and let me know what you thought!

[default-cube]

So I've never actually seen /u/ryans01 excellent post re-posted here on tumblr, and I think it could help a lot of people, so I'll repost it below. Link to the original

Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.

(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )

Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.

La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.

Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.

Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.

That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.

I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.

Have an awesome fucking day ☺

tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)

Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!

Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.

Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.

Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png

Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/

[flirting-with-psychology]

Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? Graphing random things that don’t necessarily belong in graphs

What’s one bad or inconvenient habit you used to have but no longer do? I used to be really forgetful, especially with homework and stuff. I still am a little bit but I improved a lot after I got left out of a school organization because I missed the application deadline

Do you find it difficult to kick a habit or a routine that’s detrimental? Yes

When was the last time you had a particularly hectic day? Yesterday, I had an interview and was supposed to have another but they didn’t call

Where’s one place you’ve spent a lot of time lately? My house

Is there anywhere you wish you could spend more time? Anywhere besides my house

What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? Browse facebook and tumblr

When was the last time you felt you were in an impossible situation where, despite what you did, you couldn’t win? Making the decision whether to move out of my house with roommates who didn’t take covid seriously, but had to move in with my dad who drives me nuts

How did you find out about your current favorite band? I think my friend recommended her?

Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? Kohl’s, Macy’s, or thrift stores

Is anything significant weighing on your mood right now? Covid and jobs and living with my dad

When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? Applied for plenty of jobs I got rejected from

Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? I think mostly inaction, which can’t result in either

What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Risk taking

Are you a difficult individual to get to know? Maybe

When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? I opened up to my boyfriend about mental health symptoms

To whom do you feel the most important? My parents 

When was the last time you changed your mind? Probably about whether to move home

Is there something you want but might not ever have? Going back to college

What’s something you’re working to obtain? A job

How do you console yourself when you’re distraught? Idk, maybe write about it or talk about it

Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? Yeah, sometimes they’re interesting

What would you do if you did not require sleep? Probably spend more time online

Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? Dice making

What in life serves to keep you going? The hope that it will get more exciting

How frequently, if ever, do you want to give up? Sometimes

What was the last good news you received? That i am moving ahead in the interview process

What’re some of the important things around you? My phone, my laptop

How long has your favorite song been your favorite? Like a year? Idk it changes often

In what ways does music influence your life? It relates to what I’m feeling and gives it a voice

Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Sweet

Do you prefer more hot or cold types of food? It depends on the food

How about hot or cold types of beverages? Cold

Who last told you to do something and did you do it? My dad told me to sweep under the stairs but I did not because I was afraid of spiders

Have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself? Yeah, sometimes I look in the mirror and go, huh, I’m really in there

Are you bothered by any of your physical features? Yes, I’m too fat and my nose and forehead are too big and my hair is too flat. I am also secondarily bothered by my eyes because glasses can get annoying and my legs being too short because it makes it hard to find pants

Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? Yes

Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? My boyfriend for resigning a chess match when it seemed like I was winning

Bruises and cuts everywhere? Bruises, I’m clumsy

Have you ever kissed someone with a tattoo? Yes, my boyfriend has an ankle tattoo

What did you do today? Had an interview, sweeped the garage, moved my bed, watched Harry Potter

What did you do last night? Watched New Girl

Last night, you felt? Tired

Will you regret your next kiss? No

Ever had a guy best friend? Jessie was one of my best friends for awhile, and John is probably one of my best friends although not best best

Is there a movie you’ve seen countless times? Harry Potter

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? No

How is your last ex doing? I think ok?

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you? No Is there someone who can always make you smile? No

Are you excited for anything? Potentially getting a job but I don’t want to jinx it because it’s still up in the air

Anything you’d like to say to your ex? Not really

Do you give up easily? Depends on the thing and how invested I got

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I should hope so

Did you deny or accept your last friend request? i think accept

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? I did earlier

Are any of your friends taller than you?

Yes

How much money did you spend today? I think none

Are you shy? Yeah

Are you completely over the last person you kissed? No, we are dating

Ever given your ALL to someone? I’m not sure

Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? Yes

Last thing you had to drink? Water

Do you ever just lay on the carpet in your house? Sometimes to stretch

Do you prefer ice or no ice in your drinks typically? Depends on the drink

Are you a lazy ass sometimes? Yes

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? I got kind of rambly in my interview

Do you ‘think out loud’? Yeah

Do you take gummy vitamins? Yeah

How do you know the majority of the people you know? School

Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet? No, I wish

Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? Lots of things

Do you use Google? Yeah

Would you like to go swimming right now? Not at the moment, although a hot tub might be nice

Can you play electric guitar? No

Do you have an HDTV? Yeah

When was the last time you drank something through a straw? Earlier tonight I had hot chocolate

Have you ever tried to teach yourself a different language? Kinda, but it works better in class

How long was your last phone call? I facetimed with my boyfriend for a couple hours

Do you need to repaint your nails? That might be fun

Has there ever been a horoscope that came true for you? Probably, they’re so generic

Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? No

Do you have a wall calendar? I have one for marking when my period is due

Have you ever taken the pictures from a calendar and used them as posters? I don’t think so

Can you handle the cold? Unless it’s really cold

Have you ever been to Canada? Only the airport

When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere? I can’t remember. If you count uber, probably home from the grocery store

Would you ever join the army, air force or navy? Hell no

How old is the person you last kissed? 24

Is there a friend that you can always rely on to get you out of a jam? Not really

Have you ever tried to balance the light switch between off and on? Yeah but it sounds like it’s fucking with the wires

Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? Not really 

What was the most expensive thing you’ve broken? I coughed up water on a laptop keyboard

Has anyone texted you yet today? Yes, my mom, my boyfriend, my dad, and a former employer

Did you stay calm during the whole swine flu scare? Yeah I don’t think I thought it was serious, I thought it was just like a regular flu

Is there a light on in the room you’re currently in? Yes

Are your feet touching the floor? One is

Have you ever been in a car accident? My parents hit a deer once

Can you focus well in high-stress situations? Not really

Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? They’re probably average

Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Fast sassy music

Are you one of those people who keep their feelings bottled up? No

Is one of your friends extremely odd but you love them regardless?

We all are

Is there anyone you dread going into public with? I dread being in public with anti maskers

Are you a victim of writing run-on sentences? Not really

Graffiti: an art or an act of vandalism? I generally think of it more as vandalism but there are some cool ones

Do you buy things online? Too much

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #286

“has he lost his mind? can he see or is he blind? can he walk at all, or if he moves, will he fall?”

Do you prefer having carpets or hardwood floors? Hardwood floors. Easier to clean and just looks better imo. When was the last time you took a bath? Is this something you do often or do you prefer taking showers? Not since I was a kid, probably. I don't like baths; it feels dirty. What’s your favorite way to style your hair? Do you do this hairstyle often or is it too much hassle for you? "I can’t style it any way." <<<< Mine is too short, too. Do you have a real or artificial tree at Christmas? We always use artificial. The mess isn't worth it. What’s your favourite snack to make when you watch a movie? Popcorn, of course. Do you prefer the Beatles or the Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones. The only Beatles' song off the top of my head that I enjoy is "Hey, Jude," while there's a handful of Stones' songs I like. When was the last time you played a game of Monopoly? Did you play until the end or did everyone get fed up and start arguing? I'm pretty sure the last time was the PlayStation version at Jason's house. I don't recall if we finished it or not. Have you ever won money on a scratch card or the lottery? How much did you win and what did you spend it on? Maybe like, $10 or so? Mom or Dad would buy one for the hell of it rarely, and they always let us kids scratch it off because we thought it was fun for whatever reason. Have you been on a plane before? Where was the last place you travelled to? Yeah, multiple times. I went to Illinois last to stay with Sara for a couple weeks. Would you rather do a wordsearch or a crossword? Wordsearch. What’s your favorite colour of skittles? Red, duh. I always save those for last. Do you have a favorite TV detective (eg. Sherlock, Poirot)? What is it that you like about them? Does Dean Winchester count? I loved him when I was into Supernatural. He was so charismatic, funny, a wonderful big brother, and don't forget hot as fuck lmao. Were you ever in any positions of responsibility when you were in school? No. Do you need to wear glasses or contacts? How long have you needed to wear those for? I'd had glasses since high school. I'm blind as a mf. Do you talk in your sleep? Yes. Ocean or pool? Pool. Cleaner and less risk. I'll swim in either, though. What's your favorite song at the moment? "DEGRADE" by "3TEETH." I've been hooked on them lately. Ever met anyone famous? No. Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life? *blinks* Have you been in love? Absolutely. Where do you wish you were? Sara's would be great. Last thing you spent lots of money on? My Markiplier tattoo. Favorite restaurant? Olive Garden. What is your favorite kind of car? I really dunno. I don't know almost any car by name. I like slick-looking ones, though. AKA expensive ones lmao. What would you honestly do if you had a million dollars? Pay off a lot of things, first of all. For both myself and Mom. I know too well I'd spend a good deal on tats, but I'm quite sure I'd be disciplined enough to know what's more important. Are you more of a shy or outgoing person? I am VERY shy. Would you rather listen to new music or the classics? I tend to listen to music I already know. I go hunting for new bands and songs too rarely... Can you do a cartwheel? lol hell no Do you currently feel any sadness? I always do. Do you always respond to chain letters? I literally never do. I don't care what it's about. They're annoying. Do you spend too much time online? My life is online. It's depressing, and very. I usually don't know what to do with myself if I don't have access to it. What is your biggest annoyance? Right now, people not complying to COVID restrictions to help end this madness. Are you currently in a relationship? No. What do you like to do for fun? Watch YouTube, play WoW, write, read, take pictures... Not a lot. I've been stuck with anhedonia for years; not a lot of things give me any sort of pleasure, even the aforementioned things sometimes. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. Do you ever feel like people use you? I've sure as shit felt it before. What role does religion play in your life? None. It's honestly a place of bitterness. Can you sleep with your eyes open? Noooooooo, that shit creeps me out. How often (if ever) do you use moisturiser? Pretty much never... but I need to considering my skin is dry as the Sahara. Have you had any of your wisdom teeth removed? What was the reason? (eg. infection, impaction, lack of space). No. What was the reason for your last hospital visit? I visited Mom after her surgery. Do you use a laptop, desktop, tablet or phone to take your surveys? Laptop. Do you have any debt? If so, are you on top of paying it all back? College debt, for sure. I dropped out three different times. No, I'm nowhere near on top of it. How often do you travel by public transport? Never. Do you have an Instagram account? If so, how often do you post on there and what kind of things do you post? I have three, haha. I don't post on any regularly enough... but I use my first one most. My "main" one is my primary photography one, and I have a second photography account for my darker/roadkill/"vulture culture" work. Lastly I made one for my pets... yes, I decided to be one of those people lmao. Are you close to your extended family? Do you wish you were closer? Definitely not, but we want to try to get closer. In Grammy's last days, she shared that she wished we were more "together" so much. Do you prefer to give your pets human names or not? Definitely not human names, at least usually. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? Would you know how to use one without reading the instructions? No; I doubt it. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever had to deal with at your job? When I worked, impatient customers. What was the last thing you used your mobile phone for? Listening to music. While my laptop is kaput, I'm using an old one, but it's super slow so I'm just using my phone for music and videos. Did you used to play The Sims? What version or expansion pack was your favorite one to play? I loved the animals one; I went through a period of playing that a loooot. There was also an African wildlife one that I had, but that one was pretty boring, honestly. I never got into the human ones. What quality do you value most highly in others? Probably compassion. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? Mom. What was your best find from a flea market, garage sale, ebay or thrift? I got an AWESOME shipwreck w/ a sea serpent nightlight from the flea market once. What is one selfish thing you tend to do? Uhhhh I'm unsure. I try not to be selfish. Have you ever written a letter to a soldier? No, but man does this make me think of "Travelin' Soldier." I love that song so much, man. Always have. What do you use batteries for the most often? Ha, it used to be my mouse, but now that I have one that plugs up to the computer to charge, idk. What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? "I don’t think I’ve ended any kind of relationship over something small." <<<< Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? It really depends on what I want and how hungry I am. If I had the first two though, I almost certainly couldn't handle a dessert. Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? My older sister had it very badly to the point she wound up in the ER. It's no fucking joke. Aside from the necessities (eating, breathing etc.) what is something you do every single day, without fail? I was going to say “get on the computer” or something of the sort, but what if I don’t have access to technology that day for whatever reason? In that case, I’d think of Jason to some point. There isn’t a day that passes when he’s not lurking in my head somewhere. Is there anything you enjoy that’s considered childish for your age? What is it? Roleplaying. Some shows. I’m sure there’s plenty others. How many times a day do you use the bathroom? A LOT. If I’m drinking something, a lot of the time, I almost immediately have to go pee after a single sip. Do you need caffeine to wake up in the morning? What’s your drink of choice? I wouldn’t say I NEED it, no. I do regularly have my Mountain Dew in the morning in place of coffee tho lmao. That’s out of habit, though. Do you live somewhere with lots of livestock or wild animals? Livestock, absolutely. Wild animals, sure, so long you’re not right in a city. Well, even then, roadkill isn’t rare. Would you rather live somewhere rural or urban? RURAL. Mom and I are both having trouble adjusting to living in the suburbs. The only good thing is we’re closer to everything. Is there anything (a hobby, for example) that’s guaranteed to always make you feel better when you’ve had a bad day? Not absolutely without fail. If you’re struggling with your mental health, who are you most likely to open up to, or would you bottle it up instead? I VERY rarely bottle it up. That is so unhealthy. I confide in my mom, usually. What room of your house do you spend the most time in? Is this through choice or necessity? Ugh, my bedroom… but yeah, it’s choice. I COULD be in the kitchen or living room on the laptop, I just don’t want to for privacy’s sake. I’m waiting for the extra bedroom to be cleaned out to turn that into like my “dayroom” or “office.” I’m putting a desk in there, lots of motivational stuff, just things to inspire me to work. I NEED away from my bed. I only want to use it to sleep. If you have pets, do you snuggle with them when you’re having a bad time? Does it make you feel better? Well, it’s hard to “snuggle” with a snake, but I’ll still take her out sometimes and she gets comfortable against me for warmth. I do however definitely snuggle with my cat Roman, because he’s a total cuddlebug and super affectionate with me. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer? Shockingly, I haven’t read a novel by him. However, knowing stories he’s written and his genre, I think I’d absolutely love him. What movie are you looking forward to? Oh goodness, I have no idea. I’m totally out of touch with movies. Have you been to see an opera? No, they don’t appeal to me. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty? My career success. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of? Drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex: Love, of course. Would you ever consider working for the government? Absolutely not. What are the best and worst television channels? I don’t need to even watch television to tell you Discovery is best. Idk about worst. If you had a magical pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw? Hm… if I drew like, Earth overlayed with a peace symbol, would that cause world peace? What would you like to touch? A wild (well, habituated) meerkat. Meerkats are just… so important in my life. Without them, I wouldn’t have met people who’ve greatly affected and even changed my life. I know the day I (hopefully) hold or pet one will be one where I cry. Does anything you own glow in the dark? I don’t know. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn? Who the hell would answer “unicorn” to this???? Dragons are so so so superior. Can you make a balloon animal? No. How many glasses of water do you drink each day? Rarely more than two, if even that. What do you like in a poem, accessibility, crypticness, or something in between? I guess of these options, leaving some cryptic space, room for the reader to imagine. What I cherish most in poetry though is descriptiveness, but not to an excessive point where it’s just hard to understand. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with? Why the conflict? MYSELF. I’m just so mad at and disappointed with myself. What subjects do you refuse to talk about? Why are you hiding from them? I mean, none, really. With some people I’m willing to talk about whatever topic. Greatest black and white film: Idk, I can’t recall enough. Greatest film three hours or longer: Troy. I adore that movie. I should watch it again…

[far-off-flower-fields]

Weird Questions that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? We call elementary school primary school. It depended which teachers you asked, my favourites always said I was “conscientious, kind, and a pleasure to have in class”.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Glass cups or bottles.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? I have like 4 looks, pastel, boho, and goth/witchy/grunge, also vintage-inspired which wasn’t mentioned but I love it.

7. earbuds or headphones? Depends on the shape, I love my Razr headset because it doesn’t squash my ears, and I like galaxy bud shaped earbuds, the ones with the little rubber doo-dads that fit actually in your ear. Apple or a lot of older flat earbuds cause me a lot of pain.

8. movies or tv shows? TV shows. Movies are getting longer and longer and my focus is getting shorter and shorter

9. favorite smell in the summer? Rainy days!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? The game of queue-ducking (where you go to the back of the queue to avoid your turn), or dance, or the less strength intensive parts of gymnastics. Or crying, always been great at that xD

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Muesli, or nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I prefer to listen to full albums rather than playlists, but I have a few favourites on Spotify. Born to Run 150BPM, Infinite Indie Folk, Irish Folk: Jigs and Reels, All Out 80s/90s/00s. I also love scene/pop-punk playlists.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key Ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Message Hearts (or anything with that texture), the red pack of starbursts (the UK version is vegan). Does Turkish Delight count because if so then that is my fave. I also like gummies if they’re vegan.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? To Kill a Mockingbird (high school), or The Bloody Chamber (uni), or Hamlet (uni)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? One foot under me, the other foot out to the other side, but both in the same position (if the surface is flat), or knees up.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? I own a lot of shoes so there isn’t really a single pair I wear the most. Recently my Air Force 1s, I’m trying to wear them in because the previous owner didn’t so the cause blisters.

18. ideal weather? Cold, overcast, rainy, still. Or without the rain. or snow (as long as I’m not going in the car and I can go crunch my shoes in it xD

19. sleeping position? Either side, but my body is kinda rotated towards the bed so it’s like half way between on my stomach and on my side. 

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebooks

21. obsession from childhood? Animals, dinosaurs, goddesses, magic, crystals, neopets, sims. I still love all of these things, I am a rotating door of obsessions, usually a bunch of the same obsessions on repeat.

22. role model? I don’t have one particular role model, I do have tons of people that I love and respect.

23. strange habits? I have so many strange habits that I have become one myself. Nothing actually stands out though because 99% of it is because of my brain.

24. favorite crystal? rose quartz or moonstone.

25. first song you remember hearing? Maybe Dancing Queen by ABBA, definitely the first I remember dancing to, but my dad loves music so I grew up with a constant stream of it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Suffer xD when I’m able to do so comfortably I’d love to go out looking for pretty stones, and nice sticks with my fiance, also would like to go on picnics with him, or a friend if I had one.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Baking, drawing, crafts, standing in the rain. Everything.

28. five songs to describe you? 6/10 - Dodie Robert Frost - Mal Blum Caught in the Middle - Paramore Side Effects - Jade Bird Snitches Get Stitches - Onsind  Bonus track: The Seed - Aurora I wish I still had the playlist I made of songs I relate to, several of these were on it though.

29. best way to bond with you? Oversharing, or telling me about things you’re into.

30. places that you find sacred? Nature. My favourite spots are little creeks/rivers in wooded areas, but just like, all of it is special and should be treated as such. Also bedrooms.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I think maybe I’m not gutsy or whatever enough, but also unpredictable. I wear whatever I like, and I’m just as likely to cry in all of them as I am to accidentally get in a fight.

32. top favorite vines? I feel so basic because I never really did the vine thing.  There was one that nearly killed me because I literally started to choke that was in some kind of office and the bit like can you run this past me again, and they just fucking legged it past them holding a folder up, Saw it once, never saw it again. Road work ahead. Why you can’t lift a house (might be a tok?) Brass dad and oven kid Look at this graaaaph Never learned how to read I can’t sit I have hemorrhoids The one with the people in blankets bobbing the nana nanana song Fr esh avo ca do Look at all these chickens

33. most used phrase in your phone? I love you - if I had to guess

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? right now, nothing. I often get the old Super Liquor jingle lodged in there though.

35. average time you fall asleep? 6am?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Charlie the unicorn or that one Noodles video by Cyanide and Happiness. Are those even memes?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. I mostly use a bag though since I never go anywhere for long.

38. lemonade or tea? Tea? Usually if you ask for lemonade here you get Sprite which is not lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I had a vegan lemon meringue pie once, so good. Cake is easier to make though, and I can eat more in one sitting without getting sick xD

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Um, the principal in my last year of school got caught for being a peeping tom a few years after I left.

41. last person you texted? My Fiance.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Depends on the rest of the outfit and the weather. I wear Jean jackets most though.

44. favorite scent for soap? I love lavender, or vanilla/candy/fruity/baked goods type scents. I still have a bottle of Sugar Fairy spray from lush from a year ago and I love the smell of that.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy I think.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nekkid?

47. favorite type of cheese? As a kid it was feta. Now I only eat vegan cheese. I was never a huge cheese fan tbh.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Rotten xD um probably a cranberry or something because I’m small, and I’m not a fan of cranberry.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? An it harm none do what you will. Or treat others as you wish to be treated.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Probably one of the vines I listed above, either “run it past” or “can’t lift a house” because both of those resulted in crying and choking.

51. current stresses? My cat has been throwing up and having diarrhoea the past week or so, she’s been to the vet, it got better for a bit, but tonight suddenly got worse. Living with my parents who I have a very toxic relationship with. Living in a single very overfilled room. Trying to not spend money so that I can save up to move next year. Nightmares about my trauma. Either the house is haunted or there’s a build up of negative energy (probably that).

52. favorite font? I always liked the look of all of the script style fonts (freestyle, french, lucida, lucida calligraphy, Edwardian, Palace) but they’re not accessible so for anything people will actually see (which is literally nothing) I always go with arial.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Slight rash on one finger because I’m sensitive to what is in a lot of hand washing products apparently (never an issue until the pandemic), one broken finger nail that is a bit shorter than the rest. Not painted nails because energy. I always wear my engagement ring, usually I wear several other rings but with how my skin is being I thought I’d better not for a while.

54. what did you learn from your first job? Bakeries are hell, my circadian rhythm will not adjust to anything besides its natural state for longer than a couple of days at a time no matter how long or hard I try. I can absolutely fall asleep standing up.

55. favorite fairy tale? Ugly Duckling

56. favorite tradition? I don’t have anyway... Yet? Hopefully when I move this can become a thing.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I’m interpretting overcome loosely here, meaning “I have not died from this” - Suicide of my first love - Bullying - 3 different jobs that all nearly killed me

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Literally can’t think of one. I’m not talented. I’m passable at a couple of things, but I worked for those things and I’m still not good enough for anyone to confuse me for being talented xD Those things I care about that I’ve worked on a lot are singing, art, languages, crafts? I still struggled to come up with 4. My bad.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Aw jeez xD

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Magical Girl! This is an easy one, give me the powers and the clothes yessss.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Literally sitting here drawing a blank, so instead of favourite here is the first one that came into my head “eyes are the genitals of the head” (may have that wrong, I’m watching the Office for the first time rn)

62. seven characters you relate to? Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Amelie from Amelie Matilda from Matilda Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notredame (also my favourite plush as a kid) Iris - The Holiday Jess - New Girl Amelia Shepherd - Grey’s Anatomy Struggled with this because suddenly I drew a blank and also couldn’t remember who my Fiance was talking about every time he’s watched a character and said “that’s you” repeatedly.

63. five songs that would play in your club? Starlight - Superman Lovers Pump It - Black Eyed Peas I Bet that You Look Good on the Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys All the Things She Said - tATu Doctor Jones - Aqua Bonus: Push Up - Freestylers These are ones  I have memories of dancing to when I was younger so that’s how I picked, but I’d absolutely be a themed night club with different music on different nights.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Neopets, which I still play daily. The first I played was MaMaMedia, then Bubblegum Club.

65. any permanent scars? That’s a SORE subject heh get it heh

66. favorite flower(s)? Lavender, rose, peony

67. good luck charms? I usually carry gemstones if I’m needing to be particularly lucky, or sigils.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I hate anything spicy. I had rootbeer candy that tasted like literal dirt. I can’t eat banana stuff without gagging and getting a headache. I hate anything that is artificial blackberry or blackcurrant, tastes like shitty cough syrup.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Sea Monkeys breathe through their feet, but I remember where I learned that.

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? depends entirely on the colours, I like patterns. but certain stripes do make my eyes feel funny.

72. worst subject? If PE counts, then that. If not, math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I love pineapple on pizza but that’s not weird. Iused to eat cheese and jam sandwiches as a kid though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I operate on how long it has lasted instead of how bad it is, essentially I get so desperate so I’ll try it even though it probably won’t help. I have the resistance of a rhino to most meds.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? No idea, like 4 I think? I did keep them in a weird little box for no reason though because they never got taken away from under my pillow.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I’m a fan of a good mash if it has lots of flavour (like gravy). Otherwise, crisps or fries.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I grew a radish once! Something cat safe though these days, also maybe something heavy, and hard to knock over?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery Store sushi, if it’s just veg.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My only ID is my passport, and it is BAD.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Both.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies (ten million of them to be precise)

82. pc or console? Grew up with PC. Now play my switch mostly.

83. writing or drawing? Both. Wrote more as a kid, draw more now.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Both. But I prefered pollies as a kid

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cupcakes

87. your greatest fear? Based on my nightmares, stairs.

88. your greatest wish? To live in a comfy house, in the country, with my Fiance, I have travelled the world, we have pets, I can function, we are free.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My Fiance and out animals.

90. luckiest mistake? Can’t think of any, most of my mistakes have been more like bad choices, also never turned out well for me.

91. boxes or bags? Depends what it’s for?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? lamps, or fairy lights. Unless I’m particularly anxious, then overheads.

93. nicknames? None.

94. favorite season? Winter

95. favorite app on your phone? LINE, it has my fiance, and animated stickers.

96. desktop background? Little Twin Stars

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My own.

I never get asks and needed to distract myself so I’m going to just answer these anyway, like a survey or something. Original post by tr33-g1rl 

[derryhawkins]

I Love Him, Your Honor

summary: During college, Richie works part time at a law office for the sole reason it pays well, and he honestly thinks it’s utter hell. But then he meets another part time employee who works down in the file room and, well, maybe the law office isn’t completely hellish. words: 4.5k a/n: i honestly don’t even know why i’m posting this but hey i made an ao3 account finally and you can read this on there if you want! richie’s part time job is purely based off of mine; i got this idea yesterday when leaving and just ran with it, and thus this chapter was born. idk when the next chapter will be up but pls give this love 

chapter one: you need a job

“Look, Rich,” Ben Hanscom starts as they exit their shared physics course, sidestepping a few other college students who were being slow. He calls back a genuine sorry after accidentally shoving one of them before turning back to his friend, the curly haired boy just barely passing him in height. “You need a job. You’re nearly twenty! Bev says they need help over there, like, so bad. They had to fire someone, and two others quit and they’re leaving in a week.”

Richie Tozier looks at Ben incredulously. The dark haired college student knew full and well of Beverly Marsh; the short little redhead is one of his best friends and Ben’s fiancée. Richie likes to give himself credit for their relationship, because according to him, he set them up back in freshman year of high school. Six years later and they’re engaged, and Bev has a full time job after finishing college within two years, and Ben’s on his way to (hopefully) be an architect. Of course, that’s not how it went. Richie and Beverly met Ben in a crappy, run down elevator that worked from time to time at their school. Ben had been running late, the other two were ditching. They got stuck for five hours in that crappy elevator. Richie just likes to say he planned it. But, of course, that’s not what this current situation is about. (And the school banned anyone from using the elevator there on out).

“Bev works at a law office, Ben!” Richie yells, throwing his hands in the air as if to make a point. “All they do is sit at desks in front of computers.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Like sitting at home on your phone or in front of the TV aren’t the same thing as sitting in front of a computer.”

Richie ignores the sarcasm. “I don’t need a job.”

“You quit your other one last month. We’re in college, man! It’s like, I dunno, death not having a job. You need to eat food!”

“I can get breakfast, lunch, and dinner here because I’m in a dorm, and on the weekends when I’m home the ‘rents cook. I’m fine!”

It’s silent as Ben gives Richie a look while they continue to walk down the steps of the building, mixing in with other students who are either leaving or heading to class. Thankfully for Richie, he only has physics today; the only down side is that it’s an 8am course, and it had been the only one available when he signed up for classes. He has Ben, though, so it isn’t all too terrible. And it’s his only 8am. Half of the others are hybrids – he only has to show up for the midterm and final, and turn in work online – and the others are either afternoon or night classes. He has it pretty easy this semester.

So, yes, he can easily get a job, and he has been thinking of getting one, but now both Ben and Beverly are pestering him about it and suddenly he doesn’t want to get one. Richie scratched at his jaw as he thought of his previous job – the stereotypical college job at McDonald’s. He’s worked there since junior year of high school, and it wasn’t that it was bad. It had been decent, at most. He liked the money, liked the food he got to bring home and to his friends, and liked the cute girls and guys who walked in. He just quit because it got too ‘going through the motions’. Richie knows a law office isn’t going to be much better.

If he gets a job, he wants to at least like it.

The January wind nips at them as they step outside, both guys’ faces scrunching up in various forms of oh shit it’s cold. Ben fixes the scarf around his neck to cover his nose and wraps his arms around himself. Meanwhile, Richie just hunches his shoulders, clenching his teeth together. In just a t-shirt, a thin zip-up jacket that’s not zipped up, and ripped skinny jeans, he wasn’t dressed properly for the winter months; Ben, on the other hand, who’s decked out in a scarf, a thick winter jacket, comfortable jeans and gloves, is dressed properly.

Richie can hear his parents’ voices now reprimanding him for not wearing the proper clothes, and soon enough her could hear his other best friend, Stan Uris, with them.

“Just… At least think about the job, okay?” Ben speaks as they get to the sidewalk by the road, lowering the scarf so his friend can hear him better. They both stop walking and face one another. “And wear decent winter clothes, man, you’re gonna catch another cold.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he says. “You’re starting to sound like Stan the Man, Mistah Handsome.”

The corners of Ben’s lips turn up. “You’re genuinely getting better at those voices, Rich.”

Richie feigned offense. One hand moves to his chest as if his heart were hurt. “You say that as if I haven’t always been amazin’,” he says, voicing sounding like it could be southern but neither of them were too sure.

“Well…”

A gasp. “Ben!”

They both start to laugh then but it dies down soon after. Ben unwraps his scarf and tosses it to Richie, who catches it with ease, and then starts to leave. “Gotta blast, Rich.”

Richie smiles. “Ah, yes, get home to the Missus!” He puts the scarf on. It’s not much at all, but it still helps.

“No, I got another class and then I’m taking the almost Missus lunch.”

“Tell Bev she sucks for me!”

“Why?”

“She ate my last bag of hot Cheetos when she stopped by yesterday.”

Ben laughs. “Alright, yeah. Will do!”

And just like that, Richie is alone. It honestly isn’t often he and Ben get to spend time together. Hell, even his time with his two best friends isn’t much. They all have school or work or both, and it’s just hard not spending as much time together as they used to. Which was where Wednesday night game nights came in. Weekends, they all went their separate ways to their parents. So, they did the next best thing: Wednesdays. At the thought of their game nights, Richie pulls out his phone as he hurriedly walks to his dorm and opens the group chat, sending a quick game suggestion.

+++

Music plays softly from the laptop at the foot of the bed, a generous amount of papers and a text book between Richie and it. He doesn’t particularly like studying – who does? – mostly because he’s never had to properly study before, but physics isn’t exactly on the easy side of things, and he doesn’t want to fail; his mom claims he probably doesn’t even need to study too much given as he understands math easily, and Richie thinks that’s the exact opposite of what a parent should be saying to their child who’s trying to successfully get through college. But, hey, they’re relationship isn’t on the rocks anymore – a shit load of teen angst on his part, a small drinking problem on her part, too engrossed into his job on Wentworth’s part, and being batshit annoying on his little sister’s part – so the legal adult doesn’t mind not being told to study, either.

The Tozier family is back to being good and mostly healthy, and as happy as they were when Richie had been a little kid. Only now, Tori is the one with teen angst and Richie’s doing his best to be a decent big brother by helping out with it.

A shrill ring cuts off the music and pulls him away from his thoughts, flinching at the sudden change in sound before reaching over and muting his laptop. He pauses the music and answers the call on his phone before pressing speaker. A smile forms at looking at the caller I.D.

“I was just thinking about you, T-Rex!” Richie exclaims and he goes back to copying down a problem from a work sheet the professor handed out in class.

“Oh, the amazing Richard thought about me,” she sarcastically says. “What ever will my fangirl heart do?”

“I predict that you will sob once the call is over and scream at your equally fangirly friends about how I graced your ears with my wonderful voice.”

“More like made them bleed.”

“You wound me!”

“Good!”

“First Ben, now you – my poor old heart can’t take it!”

“Then perish.”

He snorts out a laugh.

“But, hey, I’m calling for a reason, dickhead. Stop whatever you’re doing and listen to the best little sister in the world,” Tori tells him.

Richie sighs and drops the pencil dramatically. It hit the notebook with a soft thud but it’s loud enough for Tori to hear over the phone. “Why, do tell, young maiden,” he says, using a Voice.

“Mom’s sick with a bad cold.”

He blinks. “…Okay?”

“Dad’s gonna still be at work until five-.”

“Whoa, hold on, wait a damn minute!” Richie sits up and pulls his computer close to look at the time as he realizes what’s happening. More accurately, what the girl was getting at. “Victoria!” Richie had been so caught up in doing the math problems and messing with the sixteen year old demon he calls a sister to even take notice of the time until then. It’s not even time for her to be out of school – hell, it was barely 11:30. “T-Rex, how scandalous of you! Skipping school.” He pauses. “Fuck, you’re me.”

“I mean…we are related.” A beat of silence. “But I’m not skipping. I got suspended. Mom’s too sick to answer the phone, and Dad’s too busy at work. I convinced them to let me call you.”

Richie sighs. “It’s two weeks into the semester, T-Rex.” He leans an elbow on his knee and put his forehead in the palm of his hand.

Getting suspended isn’t exactly a new thing for either Tozier children. Richie got detention countless of times for various reasons, earning him a few times of suspension, and Tori just has a habit of mouthing off adults – similar to her big brother – but also has one of fighting – not so similar to her big brother.

“I don’t know what you want me to do, kid.”

“Pick me up,” she replies with a duh tone.

“My truck’s still in the shop, dingbat.”

“Well, I don’t exactly have a car, either, douchebag.”

Richie is quiet for a split second. “Okay. Look. I’ll try to get one of my friends to drive me over there. Stay in the office, and just walk home if I’m not there by twelve-thirty.”

Tori grumbles. “Fine.”

Richie makes a face at her sour attitude, about to say something – “Ah, teen angst, what a marvelous thing it is” – when she hangs up before he can ever utter another word. He gasped at the device and sent her a bunch of middle finger emojis before dialing his three friends one by one. Ben didn’t answer. It stopped ringing halfway through the third ring and not a minute later, Ben’s text of “still in class” lit up his phone once again. He then calls Beverly, who he knows won’t answer but did it anyway for the sake of annoying her. To his surprise, she answers; only to greet him with a short, “No,” before hanging up on him.

“Stanny Boy, you better pick up,” Richie mutters as he crawled off of the dorm bed, finding his shoes.

“This better be good, Trashmouth,” is Stan’s form of greeting not even two seconds later.

Richie grins, pleased at least one of his friends is letting him explain. “Not good in the long run but it’s for a good enough reason, Bird Brain,” he says. “Where are you?”

“…What did you do?”

He rolls his eyes. “Not me. Our ferocious T-Rex.”

“She’s your sister.”

“She’s adopted you as her ‘better big brother’. This is what you get for befriending me when we were four and she was one, and staying best friends with me our entire lives. If you need to feel better, know that I did call Mister and Missus first because I know you enjoy your lazy Mondays.”

Stan hums. “It doesn’t.” Then Richie hears shuffling on the other end, and his hopes rise high. “But I’m on my way to pick you up. You can explain everything then.”

“You’re the best, Stanley, might as well marry you right now! Let’s go elope – take a road trip to Vegas!”

“I’ll castrate you.”

“Kinky.”

“Oh, my god.”

“See ya when you get her, my love.”

“Yuck, don’t ever call me that again. Bye.”

+++

A year and a half later, Richie never once thought he would be entering his old high school ever again – excluding the reunions he knows Beverly will drag them all to, none of the boys exactly having a choice in the matter – let alone the office of said school. Yet here he stands, all of the memories flooding back to him; both good and bad ones. He wasn’t exactly popular in school. More of the annoying class clown everyone hates but secretly finds funny. At least, at first. Everything eventually changed in sophomore year.

Richie makes a face and turns to Stan. No one was at the front desk, so they were being forced to wait to collect the youngest Tozier from the principal’s office.

“I should’ve let her rot here.”

Stan rolls his eyes. “You’re too good of a brother for that,” he says. “The principal hated you and she’s most likely getting secondhand hate from the douchebag himself.”

Richie’s eyes widen behind his glasses at the realization. He hadn’t exactly left the high school on good terms with anyone, minus his three good friends and the math teacher for the freshman, and maybe the woman who usually sits at the desk in the front office. “Fuck,” he whispers. Then louder, “What if she’s getting bullied?”

Stan gives a look that said he was crazy. “She just got suspended for fighting. I’m sure she can take care of herself, man.” He pauses, worries his bottom lip, and sighs. “But now I’m worrying about that too. So, thanks for that.”

Only a few seconds of silence goes by before Richie speaks again. “You think people still talk?”

“Nah. Everyone who was here then has graduated. Unless, one or two got held back.”

“The teachers are gossip royalty here.”

“I doubt they gossip about former students to current students, especially when one of them is your baby sister.”

“Our baby sister.”

“Just because I helped you babysit all throughout middle school doesn’t mean I’m her brother, too. We’ve been over this!”

“Try telling her that; the kid adores you! Always has.”

“Which is weird. Besides, back to the point, it's twenty-nineteen now. People who shit on someone for liking the same gender should just become extinct cavemen.” The words cause Richie to let out a laugh.

“Well, look who it is,” the lady who sits at the front desk finally appeared. Both young adults smile at seeing her, genuinely pleased. Miss Mims was one of the few adults at the school Richie and his friends liked; Hell, they still like her. In a year and a half, the woman hadn’t changed much. Long dirty blonde hair had been cut to her shoulder, and her dark eyes seem happier. Her usual blouse and nice pants are the same, and she’s still just under five feet. “Uris and Tozier, what a pleasant surprise.” Miss Mims smiles at them.

“Hi, Sara!”

“Hey, Miss Mims.”

She chuckles and holds up her left hand. “It’s Mrs. Delaney now, kids.”

Stan grins and leans forward to check out the rings on her finger. “Congratulations! When did it happen?”

Richie leans forward too, and nearly knocks Stan over, mouth in a big toothy grin. “Give us the deets, Sara! Who’s the lucky fella? Or gal, y’know. Bet they’re good in bed, huh, Staniel?”

“Rich,” Stan warns, almost in a reminding tone.

He blinked. Then, “Oh! Right, forget those questions Sar- Uh, Mrs. Delaney! My kid sister is stuck in the principal’s office, I’m sure you’ve heard why. Suspension. Fighting. The shticks.”

Mrs. Delaney snorts. “You Toziers are something else. But yeah, I’ll go get her. Where are you parents?”

“Sick and working. I’ve got the rest of the day free, so I volunteered myself to do the dirty so Went wouldn’t have to leave.” He purposefully didn’t say anything about not telling their parents, or even planning on it. At least, he knows Tori isn’t going to tell. And he’s not going to throw her under the bus no matter how funny it’ll be.

Stan rolls his eyes. “His truck isn’t working so I got dragged along.”

“You love me, Staniel.”

“Debatable.”

“I’ll go get her. Shouldn’t be long at all.”

And it isn't.

Within five minutes, the baby of the family is stepping out while Mrs. Delaney goes to her chair behind her desk, marking the girl as being picked up by a family member. The sight of Victoria, to put it simply, surprises both college students greatly. There's a cut on her bottom lip, and the intricate fishtail braid she had done that morning after straightening her usually wild curls is gone. All her knuckles are scabbed over and bruised, and there's a tear at the knee of her jeans, showing a pale bandaid instead of her pale skin. Richie quickly stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets as his brows lower in concern but mostly anger, lips pulling into a thin line. She's gotten in fights before but never has she gotten so beat up. Stan, still beside Richie, is barely hiding his shock. The stares from the two quickly make Tori uncomfortable and she shifts on her feet, tennis shoes squeaking against the polished tile. It's clear she's in a worse mood Richie originally thought. He just believed she punched someone, yelled a few choice words, and then got sent to the office. Rather, it had been a full fledged fight with two fists and blood, and he can tell Tori isn't happy. Not even angry right now. Just...sad, almost.

"You should see the other guy," she tries to joke, but it falls flat quickly.

"It was a boy?!" Richie shrieks, finally blowing his top. He can handle, for the time being, his sister fighting another girl; he can't handle a boy hitting her physically. He turns to Mrs. Delaney accusingly, the newly married woman jumping at the sudden movement. "You let a boy hit my baby sister?"

"Rich, whoa, calm down," Stan quickly moves and sends an apologetic look to the woman. "It's not her fault, man."

Tori messes with the ends of her brown hair. "I... I'll explain later. Can we just please leave?"

He shakes his best friend off of him, and Richie huffs. "Fine, okay. Whatever." He pauses. "Uh, sorry, Mrs. Delaney."

The woman just gave a smile that tells them that she forgave the outburts. Then, the three of them walk out of the school and to Stanley's car. The ride is silent almost the entire time. Stan got a phone call from his boss at a café he works at, which shifts their ending destination to Stan's work place rather than the university seeing as he needs to get to work pronto, and a spare uniform is in his trunk. Twenty minutes later, the Uris is ushering the Toziers out of his car. Richie doesn't make a move to talk about the fight. Tori doesn't make a move to explain. It's clear she doesn't want to, not yet, and even though Richie desperately wants to know what happened, he can't just force it out of her. She shuts down completely; he's learned that the hard way.

"Hey," Stan speaks up as he gets the uniform out of the trunk. "Sorry I can't take you the rest of the way."

Richie shrugs, looking around. His eyes then land on a familiar beige and dark brown building, and in the front parking lot he takes notice of a familiar black car. He checks the time on his phone, and then starts off, telling his little sister to stay by Stan's car, ignoring their calls of questions as he races across the busy street. He nearly get hit a few times and flips off anyone who honks at him, but he eventually made it to the other side. He jogs to the building and walks in, smiling widely at the receptionist up front.

"Hey, has a blond guy about my height come in by any chance?" He asks the woman who can't be much older than thirty, leaning on the counter, slightly out of breath.

She looks at him as she hangs up a call she just ended. "Yeah." Her brows pull together. "He went back that way, why?"

He doesn't answer. Instead, he spins on his heel and goes in the direction the lady pointed in. It's not long at all until he hears the familiar laughter of Ben mixed with Beverly's. "My, if it isn't two my favorite people in the whole world!" Richie exclaims as he enters the office.

Ben yelps in surprise but quickly relaxes. "Jesus, Richie..."

Beverly grins and lunges at Richie, pulling him into a tight hug. "Hi! Have you made up your mind already?" She pulls back a split second later to look at him, hopeful.

"Uh." Richie holds up a finger. "No."

"Rich-."

"I need Mr. Handsome here to drive me and Tori back to the university," he interrupts her, and clasps a hand on Ben's shoulder. "And then I need to borrow his car to take her home so our parents don't find out she got suspended."

"She what?!" The two shout in unison. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were heard throughout the building.

"Long story," he mumbled, trying not to show how upset he was.

Beverly's blue eyes narrow the slightest bit. She knows something's up; she always does, somehow. Like a sixth-sense for when her friends are upset. Maybe it's because she's a year older than them all. "Ben's not driving you unless you agree to work here," Beverly says quickly. "Period."

"Oh, c'mon, Bev-," Richie tries. He looks to Ben for help, but the guy looks away as if he's admiring the awful pale green color on the wall.

The twenty year old shook her head, strands of red hair falling in her. She brushes them away with ease. "No. You need a job, Rich, you know that. And Maggie and Went would be agreeing with us." She motions between herself and Ben.

Richie makes a face.

"The pay's good," Beverly says quietly after a few seconds.

The look goes away. "...How good?" Not a minute later, Beverly grabs a check she has yet to put in her account and handed it to him. Brown eyes widen from behind the frames of his glasses. He let out a low whistle. "Damn..."

"They're lawyers, Richie, it's not exactly gonna be a bad pay. It's not McDonald's. And you'll most likely work part time, meaning you'll get to pick your hours. They're lenient. Just show up, do your job, respect them and everyone else, and they'll be happy."

Richie stares, thinking it over, and hands the check back to Beverly. She takes it quickly and puts it back in her purse, both her and Ben waiting for Richie's answer. He crosses his arms and looks between his two friends. Good pay. Lenient. Pick your own hours. A sigh leaves his lips and he lets his head fall backwards. He does need a job. He can't live on ramen forever, and he certainly can't live off of the box of Cosmic Brownies hidden in his closet away from his dorm mate. "Alright," he finally says, sounding defeated.

Beverly grins like a madman and squeals. "Perfect! Kim!" She dashes out of the office and grabs Richie to make him tag along. They pass by the lobby in a flash, and Richie barely has time to smile at the receptionist cheekily. They continue down the hall, passing cubicles that are mostly empty and a few offices that have people in them, and don't stop until the very end. She's then dragging him into a slightly bigger, nice office with shelves for books and a bigger desk with two chairs. A woman in her forties at at the desk, typing on her phone. She has brown hair that went to her shoulders and blue eyes peer up at them both as they stand behind the chairs. She looks nice, Richie has to admit, but there was also something about her that demanded respect and oozed authority. "Kim, this is Richie Tozier, my friend I told you about."

Richie smiles, and decides to be a decent human. "Hi, it's nice to meet you," he says, sticking a hand out for her to shake. If he could stay the way he is with his friends, he most definitely would. But Kim actually scares him a bit, and he doesn't want to get on her bad side just yet.

Kim smiles back and shakes his hand after standing. "You too, Richie. Beverly's told us a lot about you," she tells him, chuckling. "I guess she's told you about how we're low on employees?"

He chuckles. "Yea- yes, ma'am."

"He's decided to work here, as long as you and Thomas and Peter are okay with it," Beverly explains.

She scoffs and then lets out a loud laugh. "Of course we're fine with it! Work has been piling up for everyone already, and its only going to get worse when those two officially leave. We need all the hands we can get."

"I'd have to work part time," Richie tells the woman. "I'm in college."

"Completely okay," Kim says pairing her words with a smile.

"And I don't have my truck right now, its in the shop, so I don't know when I can start."

"Oh! Tomorrow! We can carpool, it'll be your sophomore year all over again - minus, y'know, the thing," Beverly says. Her hand waves in the air and she half rolls her eyes, and Richie snorts. The thing... It certainly was a 'thing', alright.

"Bev-."

"Fine, I'll make Ben drive you."

"Dude, he has barely any free time, don't do that to him... Okay, we can carpool until I get my truck back."

"Yes!"

Kim chuckles at the two, softly shaking her head. She looks at Richie then. "Welcome aboard, Richie. Come in when you can tomorrow, and then we'll figure out set hours. Sounds good?"

Richie nods. "Yes, ma'am. I'll probably be here around ten."

"Perfect."

Finally, after that and after stealing Bev's hot Cheetos Ben had brought her - he wasn't a total ass, he left the sandwich and drink - he left with Ben, the blond taking him over to where Stan works; where Tori is still patiently waiting. The girl climbs in without a second thought and thankfully Ben doesn't mention her disheveled appearance. As they leave, they wave bye to Stan. Well, they wave by to the café and grill, hoping in some weird way Stan might be able to see them.

[purplesurveys]

789

Is it raining where you are? We’re starting to get more of them these days thank fuck, but the weather is still mostly humid and has none of the cold air that the rain comes with. But I’m happy with it anyway because it’s my favorite weather, and it feels nice and refreshing to finally have cloudy days. Would you ever get a white phone? When I was in high school I wanted a white iPhone so bad since that was the really popular color for phones back then hahaha (teenagers will turn everything into a trend, I now realize. Urgh). But because my parents always bought me new phones as a surprise, it meant that I didn’t really get a say about what color I wanted. It’s okay though, I wasn’t at all desperate for a white phone and definitely not spoiled rotten that I’d lash out at them. What was the last board game you played? It’s got to be whatever Elis brought to Skywalk before he graduated, as he liked bringing new board games for us almost everyday. One of the last ones I tried to join was Secret Hitler, but I backed out halfway through the session because I could never follow the instructions for most board games lol. What color is the floor in the room you're in? White. What color do you see the most of right now? White because our walls and floor are white, but with a strong tinge of yellow since we have yellow lights in the dining area and living room.

Are you more hungry or thirsty right now? I’m neither. Dinner tonight was so good so I had a big serving for myself and I also just finished a cup of coffee, so I’m feeling full at the moment. Have you wasted any money lately? I don’t even have any to spend these days hahahaha so nope How about lost any money? Also nope. As disorganized as I can be sometimes, I fortunately haven’t lost money. The one time I did was because someone stole my wallet altogether. What's your favorite kind of tea? I was never a tea person. Artificial sugary iced tea is enough for me. Would you rather go back to the 80's and 90's for a week? Probably the 80s so that it’s vastly different. I was able to live through some remnants of the 90s, so I prefer an entirely new experience. If you could only wear one color of socks ever, what would you choose? Just a plain color, no design? I’d go with mustard yellow I guess. It’s a cute color. What color hairties do you normally use? Black. Brown is an absolute last resort and only for situations where there aren’t any black ones anywhere. I’m super picky with my hair ties lol Do you prefer mints or gum? Gum. Sometimes it can be comforting to chew on something; it makes me feel preoccupied. Have you been sleeping well lately? Yes. My body clock is absolutely fucked, but I sleep very well and uninterrupted, thankfully. I used to wake up at the smallest noise, so I’m glad this quarantine taught me otherwise. Popsicles or fudgeicles? I had no idea what the latter is so I looked it up and...aren’t those popsicles too, just chocolate? :/ Anyway, I do like chocolate popsicles more than any other flavor. When was the last time you made a sandwich? Yesterday. What's your favorite thing for a person to do while you're kissing them? Smiling. Or biting my lip. HAHAHA I can go either way of the spectrum. Blush or bronzer? In the handful of times that my friends served as make-up artists for my face, I loved how bronzer looked on me. I’d always ask for it whenever they work on me.

Is it more important to you to have your fingernails or toenails painted? Neither is important to me. Would you rather your sheets be red or green? Eugh neither, but if I had to pick I’d go with red. Green is my least favorite color, and the only time I like it is when it’s an eye color lmao. Have you bought any bracelets recently? I have not bought anything lately, period. Including bracelets. What was the last reason you bought or recieved a card? A week before the lockdown, a guest speaker in my community press class gave me his business card. He wanted to take a photo with our class after his talk and I volunteered my phone, so he gave me his card so I could send the photos to him. How do you normally wear your hair? These days, ponytail for sure. Do you use a belt normally? It’s never a part of my outfits, no. What do you put on your hot dogs? Not really a common meal to snack on here so I haven’t had the chance to experiment and figure out what toppings I’d like on mine. How about on your tacos? I don’t really like tacos. Do you like watermelon? Nope. What is your favorite flavor of hot pockets? I don’t think we have Hot Pockets here. Maybe the fancier groceries do? but I really don’t know for sure. They look really good though and I’m often thinking about wanting to try them. The Totino’s(???) pizza rolls are also something I’ve heard about and I’m super envious cause they sound like heaven??? What color is your favorite blanket? Pink. What day of the week is it? It isssssss Thursday. I’m not even aware of the days anymore; I had to check my laptop’s clock to answer this. What's the most adventurous thing you've done this week? Stayed up till 4 AM? Lol ughhhhhhh give me my life back plz Would you prefer a brick house or a log cabin? Brick house. Patio or porch? Oooooh I would love a patio. Pool or trampoline? Pool. Trampolines are fun for like, five minutes lol. When was the last time you had orange juice? I don’t know if it counts as juice but my dad recently started buying those fizzy Berocca tablets that turn water into some type of vitamin drink when you dump it in. I hated it from the first sip, and thankfully my parents never forced me to take it after that. Do you like apple juice? Meh, it’s fine. I don’t like juices in general but apple is still one of the flavors I’d drink if it was available or offered to me. Do you have any bright colored shorts? Yes, a couple. Leggings or yoga pants? Leggings but only because I’ve never owned a pair of yoga pants. Do you like b.l.t.s? I don’t hate them, but I don’t get them a lot either. They’re just there to me lol. What was the last drink you ordered at a restaurant? I only ever go for water; it’s never been my habit to order a drink because they make me feel full quicker. Have you went to a Burger King or McDonald's more recently? Wow, neither. But my parents love Burger King more, so it was likely that that was one of the last places they bought takeout from before the lockdown. Do you remember your last dream? I don’t think so, nope. Do you like going for car rides? I do and I definitely miss them more now. Do you have a tree in your yard? No we don’t. When was the last time you lit a candle? Never. I hate using lighters and I always ask someone else to light up something meant to be lit up for me.

[langdvnshepherd]

Headcanons: Duncan Shepherd as a dad (Duncan Shepherd x fem!reader)

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: none really it’s literally all tooth-rotting fluff I’m sorry lmao, mentions of smut

A/N: Someone requested more dad!Duncan and I, uh, had to do it. Definitely message me if you ever want to hc dad!Duncan because I can do this shit all day. I’d love some feedback as well as some suggestions on what to write next!

We’ve discussed how Duncan would act before his baby is born, but what about after?

First of all, he would not be able to keep his eyes off of them

He’s in awe at all times that someone as cold as him helped create the most precious thing he had ever seen in his life

Even when he’s exhausted from taking care of them all night and changing diaper after diaper, he would opt to just watch the way their little nose twitches and their fingers flex as they sleep

Every little coo or grunt that comes out of them is the cutest thing he’s ever heard

Their cute little toes are his favorite

Loses it every time he sees how tiny their clothes are

sorry idk how to make the cut work so this line has to be here lmao my b

Also really loves watching you breastfeed because those are his two favorite people and they get to bond in this very special way

Obsessed with how their eyes get droopy and they get all sleepy after their bellies are so full of milk

Going a little off topic— I picture that this is when he’d ask you to marry him

It would be super casual

You’re cuddled into his side while you’re feeding your little bub one morning and he’s contently watching the two of you and it just dawns on him that there’s literally no other way he could/would want to picture his life being like

He wants it to be you, him and the herd of babies the two of you create for as long as he lives

He says it plainly and matter-of-fact-ly that he wants you to marry him because this is it for him and he doesn’t want anything else

“I was gonna get you flowers and a giant ass ring and take you to a fancy dinner and be dramatic and with the whole shebang, but this just felt right. We can figure the rest out later.”

I would say he takes to fatherhood fairly well

Always offers to get up in the middle of the night and rock them back to sleep

Spit up and poop doesn’t gross him out

Thinks their little burps and farts are hilarious

“Heyyyyy, impressive! Just like your daddy.”

Cherishes skin-to-skin contact

At any and all times he can be found sitting on the couch or nursery rocking chair shirtless with his baby tucked into his chest

Also does the thing where if the baby falls asleep on him he refuses to move until they wake up regardless of what position he’s in

“My leg has been asleep for an hour, but there’s no way in hell I’m moving and waking up this sweet baby.”

You have an entire photo album on your phone of him and the baby asleep in the weirdest positions looking like identical versions of each other

Duncan’s arm tucked behind his head and slumped into the corner of the couch with your baby’s chubby cheeks smushed into his chest and legs tucked into their chest like a little football

When he has to take care of them alone for the first time he feels like he’s gonna puke

He’s convinced that something bad is going to happen even though you’re just going to work for half a day

If something happens it will be his fault and he won’t be able to live with himself

He calls you to before everything he does to make sure he’s not going to accidentally hurt them

“They have a rash on their butt, is the diaper cream the blue tube or the red tube?”

“Duncan, you know which one it is. You put it on them last week.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to double check.”

He measures every breath they take until you get home because he doesn’t full trust himself alone with a child

You end up coming home to a quiet house and find Duncan and the baby knocked out on the floor with an old Mickey Mouse cartoon playing softly on the tv

He was going to be perfectly fine, you tried to tell him

The first time the baby gets sick he’s so heartbroken

Usually their cries can be softened with a boob in their mouth or some gentle rocking and pats on the booty but knowing he can’t do anything to help them this time makes him feel so sad

He just hold them as close as he can and tells them he’s sorry there’s nothing he can do until they finally drift off

Duncan also probably withdrawals himself from work gradually after the baby is born

Also chills out on the shady business because now he has a kid to consider and if he gets caught he isn’t the only one that will suffer the consequences

Taking on less of a work load to he can spend time with you two but also because having a kid has made him reflect a lot

He wants to be the parent he never really had

He wants to look back and say he was able to provide for his family, but was also still present for all of the little moments

Him and his baby are best buddies and I am a firm believer in that

You can calm them down and make them laugh and they love you so much but it’s nothing compared when they see Duncan walk into the room

They’re immediately in a better mood or having a giggle fit

They love it when Duncan tickles them with his beard when he gives them kisses or blow raspberries on their tummy and they love making grabby hands at it and scratching it

He talks to the baby like they’re grown and like their little babbles are actually words and it’s hilarious

“What’s that? You thought the State of the Union was pure shit? Well that makes two of us! I couldn’t believe the hot garbage coming out of his mouth either! What an idiot.”

It only encourages the baby to mumble and speak more gibberish because they’re thriving off of the attention they’re getting from their dad even though they have no idea what the fuck he’s saying

He fake wrestles with them by pretending to choke-slam them but he just softly flips them around and gently flops them down on the couch

Walks around the house with them hugging his leg or on his shoulders while they hold onto him by his hair

Duncan is always letting them do things you don’t want them to do like crawl around butt-naked or letting them suck a tiny bit of cake frosting off of his finger when you aren’t looking

“Duncan, you can’t keep doing that! All of that sugar’s going to upset their stomach.”

“But look at them, they LOVE it. You can’t look at that face and tell me that they don’t absolutely love it.”

Their first steps are towards Duncan one day when he’s home alone with them

He’s working on his laptop while the baby was messing around on the floor with their toy piano and chewing on the ear of their stuffed elephant

For whatever reason he diverts his attention from the screen to the baby and sees that they’re fully standing on two feet and rocking back and forth and concentrating super hard on staying upright

Duncan realizes what’s about to happen and eggs them on with the bowl of dry Cheerios they had been eating for breakfast

“Come on! Oh my god oh my god, come on you’re so close you can do it!!! Come here!!!”

They make it clear across the living room and stumble right before falling but Duncan scoops them up and tosses them straight up in the air out of excitement and the baby is a squealing mess from the kisses Duncan covers them in

Their first word is “mama” and he’s honestly a little salty because he thought he was special

“After all I do for you? All the times I get yelled at by your mom for feeding you sweets and cuddling you at night when you should be sleeping in your crib? You betray me like this? I see how it is.”

He definitely finds it extremely entertaining to make them say random words like “shit” or “fuck” and 100% gets yelled at for it after they made a habit of screaming it around the house

IMAGINE their first birthday

You know Duncan spends way too much money on unnecessary things that a one-year old will never remember

A giant cake that they’re inevitably going to smash to pieces with their tiny fists

He buys so many expensive baby toys and it doesn’t even matter in the end because all the baby wants to play with is Duncan’s cell phone and try to chew on his watch

Given that babies and toddlers are a handful to say the least, the relationship between the two of you definitely changes

Not in a bad way, just different

There’s not a lot of time when it’s just the two of you, so you have to make accommodations

Quickies in the shower or cuddle sex 20 minutes before the alarm goes off in the morning

Most of the time, you’re both too exhausted to do anything so it’s a lot different from when it was just the two of you and you were constantly trying to jump each other’s bones whenever possible

Random, domestic things that the other does start to turn you on

Watching Duncan in the kitchen in his glasses and boxers on a weekend morning teaching your kid how to peel an orange

Duncan watching you frustratingly change tops for the third time because you kept leaking through the fabric

Daddy kink takes on a new meaning

You fall more in love with each other after going through the adjustments of parenthood together

When they start going to daycare, Duncan is pretty sad

His baby isn’t really a baby anymore

But he lightens up when he sees how much fun they have when he picks them up everyday

They’re so excited to show him their new friends and where they put their mat for naptime and the finger-painting they made of your family (they insist that’s what it is but it’s really just a bunch of giant blobs but Duncan refuses to acknowledge that and congratulates them on being such a talented artist and puts it on the fridge it as soon as he gets home

They also love getting into the routine of getting ready with Duncan in the morning

Duncan let’s them stand on the counter and brush their teeth beside him and they make faces at each other in the mirror

Once, they tried to go for the razor because they saw Duncan do it once and Duncan’s life flashed before his eyes

They always give him a big, fat kiss and a tight hug with their tiny arms around his neck right before they run off into their classroom

He is the dilf of the daycare and we all know it

Everyone already thought your kid was the cutest in the class, but loses their shit when they see how hot their dad is

Comes in handy when he finds out another kid was mean to his one day and pulled their hair or called them a mean name and has to bitch to the people in the office about it

They started crying as soon as they got in the car from being picked up and Duncan’s heart hurts so bad

They’re so tiny and young and there’s no reason for anyone to be mean to them

He lays with them in their toddler bed and rubs their tummy and pets their hair until they fall asleep

Tells them that sometimes people are mean for no reason and they’re not whatever name they were called and they should never do those things because that’s not how you treat people

He’s obviously still upset about it when he gets into bed with you later that night

He didn’t think his kid would be subjected to the cruel world at such a young age and he hates that he wasn’t there to protect them

“There’s only so much you can do. You did everything you could, and that’s what matters to them. That you love them, and that you’ll always be there for them to talk to.”

Duncan nods but it’s clear that he’s still beating himself up over it

“Donut, if you don’t stop moping I’m gonna have to show you how good of a dad you are by making you another one.”

“.....is that a promise?”

Ok I’m done now I think please send in more hc’s if you think of them dad!Duncan is my lifeline that’s it thanks

Some of you asked to be tagged and idk if you meant just in the sugar daddy fic or in everything so lmk what you meant lmao

@sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 ​ @langdons-rep ​ @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @venusxxlangdon

[sharryflowersm]

Please Mr. Postman (four)- like a 60s playlist

Part inspired by: Please Mr. Postman by The Marvelettes

Summary: Zach and (Y/N) are spending time together, and Zach keeps bringing up Shawn the whole time they are together. (Y/N) is suspicious as to why he keeps mentioning him, but she soon finds out why he’s been brought up so many times in their conversation. Tori tags along on their lunch date, and they both find out why Shawn has been acting so distant and if there is any chance he might have some interest in (Y/N).

~~~~~

“Why are you late?” Zach whispers as he I sit down next to him.

“I woke up late, somehow I didn’t hear when Tori left the dorm for her 8:30am” I say taking off my jacket, struggling to get my notebook and English book out of my backpack and onto my desk.

The professor eyes us, and I pretend to listen to Juliet, the know-it-all, girl version of Zach talk about the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis and her love for Noam Chomsky.

Zach leans into me and whispers, “How was your weekend?”

“It was good. How was yours?” I say looking at him.

“Like every weekend, mostly hung out with Shawn and Dylan.”

“Oh.” I smile at him weakly. “Nice.” I add on.

“Yeah. We just partied like always.”

I nod. “Glad you made it back to campus safe.” I say moving my attention to the discussion going on.

“You actually want to pay attention today?” Zach chuckles.

“Yes. I’m not like you. I don’t know everything about English and the different theories for languages. I’m actually trying to pass.”

Zach chuckles, “I can help you study, you don’t need to pay attention.”

“Yeah, but what if you forget to help me study because you are too busy partying?” I say sort of annoyed.

“Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?” I look at him and give him a glare.

“Fuck off, Zach. I’m actually trying to learn here. ” I say sort of speaking normally.

Our professor glances at us and says, “Miss, is there something you’d like to say during the discussion?” He says crossing his arms not bothering to even ask my name.

“No, nothing Zach was just helping me catch up with what I missed. Sorry if we were disrupting.” Zach says smiling.

“Okay, thank you Mr. Brady.” Our professor says thanking Zach. I scoff and the professor looks at me, I smile in return pretending not to hate him and the class.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The class soon ends and our professor dismisses the class.  

“Want to get lunch?” Zach says.

“Yeah, sure.” I mumble trying to stuff my book into my backpack.

He waits for me and we head to the cafe near our dorms.

Wait Mister Postman

Oh yeah

(Is there a letter in your bag for me) Please, Please Mister Postman

(Why's it been a very long time) Oh yeah

(Since I heard from this boyfriend of mine)

There must be some word today

From my boyfriend so far away

“I’m sorry. I was kind of annoyed. I don’t understand anything going on with that class. You get everything and I have to actually try to do good in that class to pass.”

“All good. That’s how I feel in my math classes. I hate numbers and formulas, Shawn would always help me with math.” Oh. He opens the doors and we enter the small shop.

We walk in and search for a table. I eye one near the back and start walking towards it.

“Well maybe I can help you out with it now. Not unless you prefer Shawn to teach you. I wouldn’t be offended if you’d prefer him, just a little hurt.” I say smiling at him as we settle down in the table.

Please Mister Postman, look and see

Is there a letter, a letter for me

I've been standin' here waitin' Mister Postman

So patiently, for just a card, or just a letter

“What did you do this weekend other than party your ass off?” I say grabbing my wallet from my book bag.

“I hung out at Shawn and Dylan’s apartment.”

“Oh cool. How long have you been friends?” I ass we walk to the register to order.

“Four years.”

“Oh wow. That’s sort of a long time.”

“Yeah it is.” He says smirking.

“What?” I ask looking at his smirk.

“These past few days, you’ve been really interested in my friends. Before you met them, you didn’t care what I did with them over the weekend and now you ask all sorts of questions to learn more about them. Makes me think that you’re interested in one of them.”

“I didn’t know them before and no. I don’t like them like that.”

“Them.”

“Either one.” I say trying not to expose my hardcore crush for his brown-haired friend.

I look straight ahead, pretending to look at what I’m gonna be ordering while Zach just scrolls on his phone. I sigh, out of habit.

“What?” Zach says looking up from his phone.

I shake my head, “nothing.”

Sayin' he's returnin' home to me

Please Mister Postman (Mister Postman, look and see) Oh yeah

(Is there a letter in your bag for me?) Please Please Mister Postman

(Why's it been a very long time) Oh yeah

(Since I heard from this boyfriend of mine)

So many days you passed me by

We sat at the table, notebooks open and sandwiches ready to be eaten. I am deeply concentrated in our English textbook, and Zach is just scrolling on his phone paying no attention to my suffering.

“What is this theory even about?” I say sighing giving up at trying to understand language and theories.

Zach looks up, “Why do you have to get this today? You have the whole week to learn this.”

I close the book and say, “you’re right.” I look up at Zach and he glances up from his phone.

“Who have you been texting this whole time?” I say bothered that he’s not paying attention to me.

“Shawn,” he mutters. I nod and open up my laptop. I log into my social media and see that Zach has shared many pictures of his weekend. He has many pictures of him and Shawn. Shawn. I stare at the cute crinkles that he gets when he’s smiling really wide. His flushed cheeks showing he’s somewhat intoxicated.

You saw the tears standin' in my eye

You wouldn't stop to make me feel better

My thoughts are interrupted by Zach, “Did Tori ever text Dylan?”

I shake my head. “She’s too scared. She’s never made the first move, so she’s freaking out already and she hasn’t even sent a text.”

“We’ll tell her to thank me, they are coming over this weekend. She’ll get to properly ask him out.”

“Oh she’s gonna freak out when I tell her. Why are they coming over?” I ask curiously.

“All of the frats are having this huge soccer charity event and I needed them to join my team.”

“But you’re not even in a frat.” I respond.

“I don’t care, all to just kick some butt and play some soccer.”

“Sounds fun.” I say looking back at my laptop.

“Will you come watch us play?” Zach says grinning at me.

“I don’t know,” I say playing with my fingers, “I’ll see if I’m not busy this weekend.” I read the text from Tori.

Where are you? Just got back to the dorm.

“Busy? You’re never busy, every time I ask what you did over the weekend you stay inside watching netflix.”

“That seems like busy work to me.” I say ignoring him while I reply to Tori.

Eating lunch and studying with Zach. Join us?

“I’m buying you guys tickets to the game, and you can’t back out or else you’ll owe me money.” Zach says.

“No. I haven’t asked Tori what she’s doing this weekend.”

“I’m sure not that much either. You both aren’t busy girls.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended by that. Besides, we don’t even like soccer though.” I scoff trying to convince him to not make us go.

“No offense. You should come because there will be a lot of sweaty boys that you both can gawk at.” He says while giving me a wink.

“What makes you think we are into that?”

“I’m sure there is some part saying that you enjoy that.”

My phone vibrates and it’s Tori I’ll be there.

I send her my location and continue to speak to Zach about how I don’t want to watch soccer games my whole weekend.

By leavin' me a card or a letter

Please Mister Postman look and see (Postman postman)

Is there a letter oh yeah in your bag for me? (Postman postman)

You know its been so long (Postman postman)

Yes since I heard from this boyfriend of mine (Postman postman)

Tori soon arrives and I catch her up about this weekend’s plans and she agrees without hesitation.

She orders her meal and join us, “Why do you want us to tag along?” she asks Zach.

He smiles and says, “I wanted to spend time with my both set of friends. Why haven’t you texted Dylan?” He questions back.

Her cheeks turn a bit red and she looks at me, “because I told (Y/N) she had to ask for Shawn’s number as well. She didn’t so I won’t be sending him a message anytime soon.”

Zach looks at me with a questioning look, “Why would she ask for Shawn’s number?”

Tori looks at me and I shake my head preventing her from saying anything. She looks at Zach and blurts out, “because she thought he was cute,” before she takes a bite out of her sandwich.

“And you didn’t tell me? I literally asked you not even twenty minutes ago!” Zach says offended.

“I thought he was cute, didn’t mean I wanted to pursue him. Besides, he didn’t seem all that interested like Dylan seemed with you.” I say looking at Tori.

“Oh he was interested, alright.” Zach mumbles out.

“What?” Tori and I both ask.

“Shawn thought you were cute too.” At that my cheeks begin to burn up, and I feel this sudden excitement run through my body.

“Then why was he acting so distant at breakfast the other day?” Tori says taking another bite from her sandwich.

“He just broke up with his girlfriend two weeks ago. That same week you two had met she had broken up with him.” He says looking at me.

“How long had they been dating?” Tori asks curiously.

“Two years.” Zach says looking at me. I feel bad for getting this sort of information but it feels good to know why he’s been acting cold.

“Do you think Dylan will ask out Tori?” I interrupt not wanting to speak of Shawn any longer.

Zach nods his head and I give a smile to Tori who is blushing.

“What about Shawn, will he ask (Y/N) on a date?” Tori asks pushing the attention back towards me.

“I guess we will have to wait for this weekend.” Zach says smirking.

You better wait, wait a minute

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute

Please Mister Postman

Deliver de letter the sooner de better

Wait a minute, wait a minute

Wait a minute, please Mister Postman

Wait a minute, wait a minute oh oh

Taglist: 

@mutuallynotmutual

It’s baaaaack! 

[kimminstudying]

Note: I’m pretty sure I made this list last summer and since school finally over I figured I would reflect on these and see how well I did and how I could improve. Linked below is the original post that has all of the goals I will be talking about, but since I write them down here I’m sure you don’t need to read it to understand what I am talking about, but I put it there just in case. This is just a review of my goals from last year, I will create a separate post for my new goals for this summer and next year. 

The Original Post

⊳ Money

Goal #1: Work towards saving more of your paychecks ✓

I did a good job of saving money, but I went back and forth as time went on. During the summer I would spend money at work during my breaks but I was making way more than I am currently during the school year. I would still spend money like I was when I was making more, but when I learned that I got better at budgeting my cash. 

Now that I have a car and have a monthly bill for it as well as gas, I am getting better at saving the money I need for the said bill. 

I plan on moving out within the year so I need to save up as much as I possibly can. I am moving out with two of my best friends, if all goes as planned, we will be splitting rent and bills between the three of us. 

Goal #2: Put half of checking into a savings account on payday ✖ I did this for a while, but then I saw that it wasn’t really helping me as much as I thought it would. I would end up having like $6 in my checking account before payday comes so I didn’t see a point in just transferring $3 when I was going to get more of it, so what I did was estimate how much money I would need for the week and then put the rest in savings. If I knew I was going out or had bills to pay during that week, I would leave that money in the account. This proved to work way better for me than what I had originally planned to do. 

What I ended up doing was creating a separate savings account for my new house/apartment so I had an emergency account and a moving out account. I would only use my emergency account for things like bills, unpredicted expenses, or big purchases such as a new laptop for school and blogging. But I keep it at $500, just in case I needed it. Right now it’s at like $450 since I needed to pay my car bill and I didn’t work much this week, but what I do is I rebuild it as fast as possible and hopefully, I do not need to take more money out of it.

When I am rebuilding my emergency fund, not as much or no money goes into my “moving out” account, so I am more motivated to save money so I can get both accounts back in order. I am going back to my old job this summer, since it is seasonal work, and I know I am going to be working close to 40 hours a week since I will be 18 they would work me as much as possible, which I like since it’s a job I love with wonderful coworkers. Not to mention we get so many gift cards it’s not even funny. We all love free money. 

*Update: My family has encouraged me to stay home while I am studying at a college that I am commuting to. My father said he won’t charge me rent as long as he can afford to keep me at home and even if he does it won’t be more than $100 a month which he and I agreed on for a price. That account is now for saving up for a new car. 

Goal #3: Have a spending limit when going out ✓

This goes along with what I was saying before about leaving money in my checking account if I have plans to spend it. I like planning my week out and so I tell my friends if they want to make plans they need to do it a few days in advance so I can see if I don’t have work or scheduled time to study, since I am the “nerd” if my group, all of my friends respect how I plan things. 

They also respect when I tell them I don’t have money to go out. Sometimes I’d rather save my money than use it on movie tickets, of course with the occasional splurge here and there on a new pair of shoes or a delicious dinner. When times get like that, we all agree to do something else that is either really cheap or free, such as having a sleepover or going to the park. 

Goal #4: Establish an “okay amount” to spend daily on coffee, breakfast, etc. ✖

I also did this for a little while, putting away $15 every check to get coffee in the morning before school. Since saving money is a learning experience, I’m messing up now rather than ten or twenty years from now. Doing this put be at risk for developing bad spending habits, $3-$4 a day adds up way faster than you think, the next thing you know you’re spending over $50 in a month for morning coffee runs. Now I’m not saying I never go to buy food and coffee before or after school, sometimes it’s great to treat yourself by doing so. Typically, I buy creamers and coffee grounds to make at home and sometimes I’ll buy a bundle of bananas to last me the week. I saw that not only did it save me money, it also saved me about a half hour in the morning. Meaning a half hour more of sleep. 

While my coffee brews I walk my dog for a few minutes so she can go to the bathroom before everyone else in the house wakes up, and I start my car so it can run a bit before I leave. This is especially good since where I live the weather is unpredictable and it can frost over my windows at any time. If I catch this early enough I can defrost my windows before I go to school.

For about a month I would do something called “Fuck it Friday” where I bought coffee, snacks, whatever I wanted since I get paid every Friday. I saw that when I did this, I would just end up spending the amount I typically would in a whole week in one day, so I quickly stopped doing that and I plan on going back to making coffee at home. Goal #5: Add spare change to change dispenser in car ✖

I don’t use cash that often, which means I don’t really get change, but when I do have some lying around, it normally goes right into a bank I have in my room. When I have change in my car, I do tend to put it into the dispenser but then I’ll sometimes use it to give to the people asking for spare change or to buy a piece of candy at the store.

⊳ Languages

Goal #1: Take review notes of language material learned over the summer ✓

I did a really good job over the summer with posting a lot here, at least in my opinion, but when the school year started I posted a little less. In my first semester, I had a bit more time to post multiple times a week for multiple blogs, but when the second semester hit I began to prioritize my schooling over languages and blogs. I started to post at least once a week, but I noticed my language learning for Korean and Italian has gone down a lot because of it.

I take French in school so I practice it every day, and there are so many French posts I have drafted I’m in love. During the summer I worked more on Italian and Korean since my French was already way way way better, and I knew I would be taking it as a class during the school year.  Goal #2: Listen to podcasts in the halls instead of music ✖

I really was going to do this, but right as summer ended I lost my apple headphones and I was not going to spend thirty dollars or so to get new ones, so I just didn’t have podcasts. I have my old phone, which is a Samsung, for music so I just used that with regular headphones.

Even when I got apple headphones from my dad’s fiancee, I still didn’t really listen to podcasts. I think it’s because I don’t want to start a new one or a new audio lesson if I am just walking three minutes to my next class. When I go back to my old job, however, that’ll change. It’s part of a program with my school for getting students into the workforce, so there is a bus that provides us with transport. I have a 45-minute ride there and an over 2-hour long ride back. No excuses to not listen to a podcast or two!

Goal #3: Mondly/Duolingo and Lingodeer during breakfast/as a part of your morning routine ✖

I used to be really good at doing these daily, but then I lost motivation. Even before I would never have a long streak, but I would just try to do it as often as possible to make up for it. There was a time where I didn’t even look at these apps for over a month, but I didn’t notice much of a change in my language comprehension. But I want to get back into it since I don’t have a lot of time now to sit down and do a couple of grammar lessons.  Goal #4: Post weekly to studyblr/langblr for Italian and Korean review notes of what you studied over the summer. ✓

Again, I feel like I did a better job with this during the summer and my first semester of this year. I have several vocab lists saved just in case I don’t feel like studying but I need to do my weekly post. There are some times when I’ll be really motivated for no reason and just make like twelve vocab lists and I draft them for future use.

⊳ Health/Lifestyle

Goal # 1: Wake up at 6am ✓

Waking up early does not equal productivity, I learned that the hard way. I wake up that early for school, but during the weekends or on breaks I wake up normally at 8-9am if I don’t have to work that morning, which I rarely do since I work the night shift (typically around 1-12am I work). 

Goal # 2: Go to bed at 10pm - 11pm ✖

If I am not working I go to bed at around 11pm at the latest, but there are some nights I get home at around 11:30 so I don’t sleep until 1-2am. This is usually weekends so I don’t have an issue since in my state it’s illegal to work minors after 10pm on a school night and 11pm on a weekend. 

But now that I’m 18 and it’s summer, I can anticipate a lot of overnight shifts or longer hours! I’m not complaining, I’d rather work at night than in the daytime anyway. 

Goal # 3: 5-minute workouts or 10-minute abs in the morning and evening or after school  ✖ Hahaha, I never did this. I’m never gonna do this.   Goal # 4: Floss more ✖ Not happening either, that’s too much man. It’s not that big in my life to floss, even if my dentist tells me to do it more. I have no cavities, no gum issues, so I’m good. Goal # 5: Take your medicines daily ✓ This I’ll admit, I need to do more. Sometimes I’ll go a few days without my meds, but it’s not important that I take them daily, since they are “as needed” medicines. I should take them at least every other day, but I am getting better at that.  Goal # 6: Morning and Nightly Skin Care Routine ✓ I started off slow by only doing my routine in the morning and then occasionally going a nightly routine. My skin is really sensitive so this worked for me, putting on too much product would either make my skin too dry or too oily. If the weather is affecting my skin, I’ll add on an extra moisturizer if need be. 

Basically, I only do a night time routine when I get home from work or school late and my face feels really gross. Since I shower at night I wash my face with a gentle cleanser in the shower. That’s usually it. 

Goal # 7: Face mask while you study ✓   Doing facemasks too often also negatively affects my skin as well. I normally do one when I’m with my friends or when my skin really needs it. 

Goal # 8: Drink more water ✖

Again, I need to do this way more often than I do. I think this is mainly because the water fountains at my school are utterly disgusting. I don’t know if it’s because our school is under construction, but it’s always been gross if I remember correctly. 

⊳ School

Goal #1: SAT Fee Waiver ✓ 

THIS SAVES LIVES. At my school, if you have free or reduced lunch, you get fee waivers for all sorts of things. AP Exams, Applications, even SAT Exams. You only get two for the SAT so you need to use them wisely. Most students don’t even know that their school offers fee waivers that either cover costs completely or reduce the fee. Make sure you ask, it doesn’t do any harm!

Goal #2: October SAT  ✓

I took the October SAT and got a 1050, which is way over than what the school I wish to go to is asking for. Then I retook the exam in June since I had one more waiver left, and I got a 1080. Now the college I want to go to has a 960 SAT Average and I needed at least a 500 on the Math and English portions to be exempt from the entrance exams.

Goal #3: Research application deadlines ✓ My school was a big help with this, especially since I’m starting at community college for my first two years. I’m accepted as a student and have already selected my classes, but there were some issues with my FASFA that I still need to resolve.  Goal #4: Check scholarship board ✓ My school was also a big help with this as well, they print out all the available scholarships for that month, the criteria, AND the due dates! All I had to do was complete the applications, no fishing for free money. 

Goal #5: Study at least 15 minutes a day ✓

I was strong with this with my first semester classes, since I enjoyed the work and had daily tasks I needed to do for one of the classes. When the second semester came, things changed. Most of my classes are easy, no homework and very little classwork that I got done early. All but AP Calc. 

The way my teacher is, he doesn’t grade the problem sets he assigns. He’ll give us class participation points if we are working in class, but the problems are mainly for our own benefit. I don’t let myself not do the problems just because I won’t get a grade I’m struggling in that class now and I do all that I can to bring my grade up, but it’s not really doing much. If this is the only class I fail, then I’m glad it's AP Calculus AB and not English or something. I don’t need calc to graduate or to still obtain scholarships, it was an extra class I regret taking. 

⊳ Misc.

Goal #1: Watch more Netflix when stressed ✓ I found that I’m not much of a TV or Show person unless it’s a really good show that I get hooked on. I’d much rather destress by having time to myself and browsing social media for hours.  Goal #2: Take your time with everything ✓ This allowed me to get better with time management, taking things slow, thinking carefully, and making myself okay with the idea of rescheduling plans. Goal #3: Think before you speak/act ✓ Doing this made me do things I was glad I did and knew I would never do if I hadn’t thought it out. I became the friend who would do and say the things everyone else was afraid of.  Goal #4: Try listening to others about their day ✓ This kind of went along with the goals #2 and #3 but this also worked out for me and I feel it made me somewhat of a better person??? Yea, just listen to people when they talk to you and ask them questions. Let them know you care about them, you don’t know how much it could raise their spirits.  Goal #5: Attend Coalition meeting (every third Friday) ✖ As much as I wanted to, I could not attend meetings. I didn’t have an adult representative from my school to escort me and possibly other students, therefore I could not attend meetings. 

~brianna

[robbiessutcliffe]

Imogen X F!MC (Ariana) Fluff ABCs

A/N : I haven’t seen many fics about Imogen... And I absolutely love her, especially with my MC, Ariana, so I had to write this!

Pairing : Imogen X Ariana (F!MC)

Summary : Just some fluff ABCs (courtesy of @pixelburied )

Word Count : 3,577 (this is a lot longer than I originally expected)

Tag List (if you want to be included in the tags in the future, just tell me!) : @melodyofgraves @brightpinkpeppercorn

A = Anger (what was their first fight about?) :

Their first fight took place about three weeks after they had started officially dating, just as they were leaving that “honeymoon phase.” Imogen was staying the night at the Vance’s house with her, but Ariana… Well, she had barely looked away from her laptop. She had been busy the entire day getting overdue assignments turned in to her classes, to make sure that she was able to keep up her good grades. But, she had barely gotten any sleep due to that fact.

Her girlfriend was simply getting worried, due to the fact that Ariana seemed absolutely exhausted. So, she did what any girlfriend would do, and suggested that she should stop for the night. However, Ariana snapped back at her without even thinking, due to lack of sleep. Imogen wasn't happy with that response, and… Let's just say things escalated into a bit of yelling, before Imogen practically trapped Ariana to the bed by wrapping herself around her, and the problem was solved as they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Obviously, it wasn’t anything big, but both absolutely hated it, because they didn’t like being angry at each other. They’ve barely fought ever since, unless it’s over petty things that they can laugh over afterwards.

B = Best (what would they say is the other's best trait?) :

After a long time of deliberation, Imogen would finally decide that her favorite trait of Ariana’s is her selflessness. She knows that she can always count on Ariana to help her whenever she needs help, or to listen to her whenever she simply needs to be listened to. But, she also hates that about her, considering the amount of times Ariana has either gotten hurt or in some kind of trouble because of it.

Ariana, meanwhile, wouldn’t take that long to decide. She’s always appreciated Imogen’s generous spirit. She loves how kind Imogen is to everyone she meets (unless she has a reason not to be), and how willing she is to help people. They’re both similar in that manner, for being the ‘martyr-type,’ and while it does cause some trouble for them, they both love each other just as much for that.

C = Camera (how do they document their relationship?) :

They both love documenting their relationship in almost every way. Both of them love taking pictures, especially of each other, or while on dates. Sometimes they’ll even have Danni take more professional photos of them. Neither of them mind posting the pictures to the internet, as they’re very open with their relationship, but a lot of the pictures they keep for themself, just as little treasures that they’re able to remember specific moments by.

Apart from pictures, they do document it in other ways. Ariana is something of a collector, so she usually picks up some sort of souvenir or token to remember every one of their dates. She didn’t show these things to Imogen for a while, but when her girlfriend questioned her about it, she did show all of the “tokens” to her. Imogen found it adorable.

Oh, and perhaps it should be mentioned that once, Imogen commissioned an artist to paint a portrait of the two of them, mostly as a joke, on their first anniversary.

D = Dates (what are their dates like?) :

Their dates vary, quite often. They like to take turns planning their dates, so that they continue to get that variety, and the dates never disappoint. Quite often, Imogen is the one to plan the more daring dates (white water rafting and bungee jumping are among the most memorable), but she also plans some of the most classy dates, of going to restaurants or to botanical gardens.

Ariana, meanwhile, likes to plan dates that are more simple. This may be because these are the dates she always imagined going on when she was younger. She likes going out to lunch, or just stopping by the bakery. And, being the pop culture fan she is, she loves going to the movies. Besides, someone has to be the more calm one in their relationship.

E = Early (what was their first month of dating like?) :

After Ariana finally asked Imogen out while they were hanging out at the bakery, they were both very clearly happy. To not be pining after each other, and instead actually be able to show their feelings? It was amazing.

They entered something like a “honeymoon phase,” and were practically inseparable. Ariana often stayed the night at Imogen’s, or the other way around (most of these nights were just pure cuddles, despite what many must be thinking). They never really had any awkward moments between them. Really, they just took their first month of being together as a chance to truly get to know each other, as both partners and as closer friends.

F = Friends (how is their relationship with each other's group of friends?) :

They get along perfectly with each other’s friends — especially because they’re in the same main friend group. Other than those friends, though, Ariana never really made any friends in the town, and she didn’t really have any friends before that either. Imogen, however, is friends with almost everyone in the town. Her girlfriend doesn’t know most of them, and doesn’t really care to know them, but she is on friendly terms with the people that Imogen is closest to.

G = Gifts (do they like giving each other gifts? what kinds?) :

Unsurprisingly, Imogen loves giving gifts. It’s just in her generous nature. It helps that she has a lot of money to spend on those gifts. And as she’s told Ariana many times, she’d be willing to spend every penny on her, even if it was just on something small. And yet, despite Imogen saying this, Ariana doesn’t really like receiving gifts. She doesn’t really have much money, especially compared to Imogen, so she always feels bad when getting some expensive gift from her girlfriend.

Because of this, they made a deal. On any normal day, the only gifts Imogen is allowed to give are her endless affection — meaning lots of kisses, hugs, and cuddles. But on holidays, Imogen is allowed to go all out. And she took “all out” literally, especially on Ariana’s birthday, when she rented out an entire zoo, just because she knew how much Ariana loves animals. She also got a diamond necklace that day, and a sumatran tiger adopted for her (though it still lives in the wild of Indonesia, obviously).

H = Hugs (all things involving hugs) :

It’s not really surprising that Imogen is the one who usually loves giving hugs. Even before they were dating, she constantly gave Ariana hugs, so now that they are actually together? It’s basically a constant cuddlefest. Not that Ariana minds. She loves the surprise hugs from behind, or the hugs where Imogen cuddles under her arms and rests her head against her chest. She loves all of it, so there’s definitely no complaining on her end.

I = Inside Jokes (do they have any? what are they?) :

Quite often, Imogen will warn Ariana not to fall out of or off of anything. The reasoning for this is pretty easy to understand… Ariana is quite clumsy, as has a habit from falling. She once got drunk during a frat party in college that she was forced to go to, and fell out of one of the first story windows into a bush. That seemed to start it all. She’s fallen out of bed countless times, has fallen into Imogen’s pool an embarrassing amount of times, and whenever they go into the forest on horse rides, she’s always determined to climb a tree, despite knowing that she’ll almost always fall. The only one in their group that understands this other than them is Elliot, as he knows of his sister’s tendency to fall.

They do have a few other than that. Such as, they’ll often talk about the previously mentioned tiger that they adopted as if he’s their own child. Many people get confused by this.

“Have you heard anything about Rhys lately, Genny?”

“I can’t say that I have… I hope he’s doing okay.”

“I’m sure they’d call us if he weren’t. But if he is hurt, you better believe that they will have a lawsuit upon them!”

“Not really though.”

“No, probably not.”

J = Jealousy (who gets jealous easier? how do they show their jealousy?) :

Though she denies it every time it’s brought up, Ariana gets jealous easier than Imogen. She doesn’t exactly get jealous of people, but of how Imogen acts towards them. She doesn’t particularly like it when other people hug Imogen, most of all. But she doesn’t do anything to stop it, as she knows that Imogen is friends with all of these people, and she doesn’t want to stop that. Imogen doesn’t mind the fact that Ariana is a little bit possessive, and actually finds it kind of cute. So whenever she gets back from hanging out with a friend, she makes sure to reserve a little bit of time for just her and Ariana, when they usually simply talk and cuddle up with each other.

K = Kiss (how do they kiss? who usually initiates?) :

Contrary to how Imogen usually gives hugs first, Ariana is quite often the one to initiate their kisses. She loves giving Imogen kisses, as her girlfriend usually blushes a small bit despite being used to it, and Ariana thinks that it’s one of the cutest things in the world. So, she loves giving kisses. It doesn’t matter where. Sometimes it’ll be a kiss on the forehead, on the nose, the cheek, maybe on her fingertips, or on her wrist, or on her shoulder. She’ll practically place a kiss on any skin that’s bare to her, as long as she’s sure that Imogen is comfortable with it. Which, she usually is, unless there’s too many people around. In that case, Ariana will stick mostly with quick little kisses on the cheek, forehead, or lips, but nothing too much.

L = Love (how do they say those three words?) :

It was about four months into their relationship that the words were finally spoken. Ariana had known for quite a bit of time before she managed to say the words. Despite knowing, she held back from doing so, because she had never been in a real relationship before, so she was very anxious about whether it was too soon.

But, one day, they were swimming in the lake together, and had just gotten out to dry off. She saw Imogen’s bright smile, and how her curly hair was a mess due to being wet. And she couldn’t help it when the words just tumbled out of her. She was terrified that Imogen would react badly, but after a moment of Imogen actually processing the fact that her girlfriend had just seemingly read her mind, she threw herself in Ariana’s arms and returned the words without hesitation.

M = Movies (what kind of movies do they watch together? do they watch movies regularly?) :

They do quite enjoy watching movies together, though they don’t really agree on a favorite genre. Ariana’s favorite kinds of movies are thrillers and mysteries, while Imogen’s are romcoms, or plain comedies. However, they have managed to find quite a few movies that they love to watch together. And they’re always willing to branch out and watch different genres.

Plus, watching movies gives them a chance to cuddle up together. So of course they love it.

N = Nicknames (what are some names they call each other?) :

Both of them have quite a few different nicknames that they call the other. Though, Ariana seems to use them a lot more often, and also seems to come up with a lot more. In fact, when Ariana and Imogen first started going out, Elliot found it important to warn Imogen that Ariana absolutely loves nicknames and pet names.

Some of Ariana’s favorite nicknames that she has for Imogen include sweetheart, buttercup, speckles (she thinks that this is quite a clever pun, as speckle sounds similar to spectacle, and Imogen has glasses, and Imogen also has freckles, which is a synonym for speckles. Imogen doesn’t mind it, as she thinks it’s cute that Ariana put so much thought into it), baby bear, and cupcake. Though, she has plenty more that she uses.

O = One (what was the moment that they realized they were the one?) :

Ariana knows very specifically, which moment that she realized that Imogen was the only one she wanted to be with. They were walking through the town together, hand-in-hand. It wasn’t exactly a date — they were simply spending time together. When they neared the bakery, Imogen started tugging on her hand ever-so-slightly, asking repeatedly to stop for just a moment. Upon seeing Imogen’s excitement, Ariana felt her heart swell, and she recalls thinking that they could do anything that Imogen wanted, as long as she stayed happy. Thinking that she wouldn’t be able to stand not seeing her happy. And she simply wanted to make Imogen happy for the rest of her life, if she could.

Imogen, meanwhile, has a bit of a difficult time placing her finger on the moment that she realized it. She says that it was something like a gradual realization, just little moments where she thought to herself that she simply didn’t know what it’d be like without Ariana. So it wasn’t exactly a specific moment, but it was still an important realization, of course.

P = Pizza (what's their favorite food to eat together?) :

This is an easy answer. Almost any kind of pastries. It reminds them of what they both consider to be their first real date, when they went to the bakery for breakfast together. That same bakery was also the place where Ariana actually asked Imogen to be her girlfriend. So, that bakery, and any of the pastries that they make there, remind them of many happy memories.

Q = Quit (do they break up, or almost break up? what happened?) :

Two months after everything happened, and Ariana was packing up to head back to college, both were mildly panicking. Ariana didn’t know if she’d be able to make it through a long distance relationship, especially considering that this was her first real relationship. Neither of them knew if they’d actually be able to keep up with it, and not grow a little distanced. But they talked it out, and they figured that they might as well try. And they’re both incredibly glad that they did, as it’s hard for them to imagine not being with the other.

R = Rainy Days (how do they comfort each other on bad days?) :

If either of them are ever having a bad day, they both know exactly how to help. Imogen will pull Ariana to bed, and wrap them both in blankets, and simply lay down with her. She’ll run her thumbs over Ariana’s knuckles, and draw patterns in her skin with her fingers. Sometimes,  It helps Ariana calm down, and she usually falls asleep eventually.

Meanwhile, if Ariana sees that Imogen is upset in anyway, she’ll immediately go to Imogen’s stables and ready two horses for a ride. Then they’ll ride through the forest together, usually in silence, before Imogen starts talking about why she’s upset. Usually, they’ll arrive back in high spirits, with the mood lifted.

S = Soft (what's something one of them did that turned the other into mush?) :

Sometimes, Ariana will sing softly to herself. It was something that she never noticed herself doing, until Imogen pointed it out one day. Though she’s incredibly embarrassed by that fact, as she knows that she doesn’t exactly have the prettiest voice ever, she continues to do it, because Imogen absolutely loves it when she sings to her. It’s actually not uncommon for Imogen to ask Ariana to sing her to sleep.

T = Texting (do they text each other a lot? what do they usually talk about over the phone?) :

When not together, they’re almost always texting, unless they’re doing something so incredibly important that they can’t. After all, with Ariana not in Pine Springs while in college, they have to keep in contact somehow. So, they do this by texting, calling, and facetiming. They’ll talk about anything and everything through the phone, unless they feel it’s so important that they have to talk about it face to face. Their favorite texts to send to each other are good morning and goodnight texts.

U = Unique (what are some of their odd habits that surprised the other?) :

Something that surprises most people, is that Ariana is actually quite routine-based. This is surprising due to the fact that she always seems to do things very spontaneously. And she usually does, any time besides the morning. After waking up, she has an exact morning routine. Wake Elliot, eat breakfast, brush her teeth, take a shower, and get ready. If she does even one thing out of order, she’s convinced it’ll throw off her entire day. The only exception on that list is waking Elliot, due to the fact that he’s not always around.

Imogen didn’t really have any habits, or anything, that surprised Ariana, as she seemed quite straightforward in those kinds of things. But one thing that did surprise her a bit, when they first became friends, was the fact that Imogen didn’t constantly post on social media. She had come around to thinking that all popular girls, like Imogen, were obsessed with that, as that’s how it seemed back where she originally lived.

V = Vanity (what's something they're proud of in themselves and in their partner?) :

Imogen is very proud of the fact that her girlfriend is studying to become a lawyer. Sure, she doesn’t like how Ariana can often get too focused on her work, but she loves talking about how one day the girl she loves is going to be one of the best lawyers in the country. Ariana always gets pretty embarrassed when she says things like that, but she truthfully doesn’t mind. It helps boost up her confidence a lot.

Meanwhile, Ariana is proud of Imogen’s powers. Not for the fact that she has them, but for the fact that she was able to keep them, even when her mother tried taking them away. She knows that it took a lot of strength to keep them despite the ritual. Imogen is very proud of this fact as well.

W = Wedding (have they had one, or have they even thought of going that far yet?) :

Both of them have thought about getting married, and they talk about it often. Not directly about one of them proposing, but what they’d want their wedding to be like. Already, they’ve planned quite a bit of it, including the color scheme (navy blue and seafoam green), their maid of honors (man of honor, in the case of Tom, who’s Ariana’s best friend, and then Danni is Imogen’s), and more, even though they aren’t even engaged.

But, the fact that they aren’t engaged brings up another point. They may not be engaged to marry, but they both know that Ariana is planning on it. That was basically addressed when Ariana gave Imogen a promise ring. A promise to loving her always — and a promise to make that come true by proposing in the future. She gave Imogen the small diamond-encrusted ring on Imogen’s birthday, after the party and after all of the excitement of the day.

X = X (what's something they hate about the other?) :

It’s not really a hatred towards it, but Imogen strongly dislikes the fact that Ariana focuses on her work so much. She knows that it’s important for Ariana to do her schoolwork and all, but she knows that sometimes, she pushes herself a little too far, and she’s exhausted the next day. But that seems to be the only thing that she’d ever complain about when it comes to her girlfriend.

Ariana, on the other hand? She claims that she loves every single thing about Imogen, and she does. For the most part. The only thing she doesn’t like is Imogen’s perkiness in the morning. She only has the strength to finish her morning routine and get out the door, so she has no idea how Imogen manages to be so happy in the morning.

Y = YouTube (what are they like online? do they post about their relationship constantly?) :

As a matter of fact, they don’t. At the very beginning of their relationship, both of them did seem to post about their relationship constantly. This was because they were both so happy, and they wanted everyone else to know it. But as they settled more into their relationship, they didn’t find it a necessity. They still post about their relationship and about each other, but not nearly as much as they once did.

Z = Zoo (do they like animals? do they have or want any pets?) :

Both Imogen and Ariana are obsessed with animals. Altogether, they own five animals (or, are friends with, is a different way of phrasing it). Diavolos (Imogen’s horse), Dory (Ariana’s otter), Fray (Ariana and Tom’s coyote), Thumper (Ariana and Elliot’s mutant bunny), and Rhys (Imogen and Ariana’s tiger (that lives in Indonesia)). And they plan to get many more when they move in together (preferably ones that they can actually own and keep on their property).

[sarkastically]

Whole in His Way

(Since the cable I bought to try and connect the HDDs to the new computer don’t work because I’m an idiot and didn’t realize it was for laptop HDDs, I can’t get to those files yet so. Have a drabble in the Love Made Manifest world with Baze and Han interacting.)

Of all the people Luke brings to them--and there are many because Luke is bright and boisterous and people adore him, are drawn to him as though he is a fire on a cold night, even if he does seem sadder than he should sometimes, heavy almost, the weight of the Jedi lingering on him like a mark no matter how much he listens to their teachings, no matter how many times he or Chirrut tell Luke that is okay to want, that the Force thinks no less of someone for falling in love--the one that Baze thinks is the most interesting, the most perplexing is the pilot who will only call himself “smuggler” the word itself snapped off and spit out at them as though in an attempt to make them stop regarding him at all. 

Han Solo. They had heard of him before meeting him thanks to Cassian’s connections and Jyn’s ability to wheedle information out of thin air. Mostly, however, they had heard of him from Bodhi who keeps tabs on all the pilots in the galaxy he wants to emulate and counts this man among them. 

This man who slouches into corners to play card games, translating his companion’s Wookie for anyone who needs to know what is being said but often not talking at all, frowning at the cards in his hands, winning even when he doesn’t pay attention. It takes Baze several days to figure him out with his gruffness and his habit of turning around, walking away whenever someone who is not Chewie or Leia or Luke approaches him. He even wheels away from Chirrut once, his steps hastening him towards his ship, which is where he spends most of his time, twidling his thumbs and tinkering with things that probably do not need to be fixed, ignoring all the ones that do. 

Baze almost had words with him over that one until Chirrut laid a hand on his arm, steady, sure. “That one is in the habit of running. It won’t do any good to chase him; he has to choose to settle.”

“The Force clings to him like a cape,” Baze had said, and Chirrut only nodded.

“He won’t want to know.”

“Since when has that ever stopped you?”

Chirrut walked away, chuckling, sounding very much like a fool with a plan, sounding very much like he had every single day of his life.

The Force does cling to Han like a cape, though, and Baze cannot unsee it once he notices it. It swishes and glides and, strangest of all, it guides. Cassian and Jyn convince Han to partake in a shooting game, and Han is the best shot easily, distractedly, barely even paying attention to anything, like he doesn’t care, like he doesn’t even want to win, yet every shot finds home. Luke and Bodhi goad him into doing piloting tricks alongside them, and they are good but there’s something different about the way Han flies like you could give him nothing but scape metal never meant to be in the air, and he could escape on it.

“The Force is different for him,” Baze complains after dinner, his head in Chirrut’s lap, Chirrut’s fingers in his hair, brushing, placing intricate braids here and there, winding in bits and bobs that the children--Jyn and Bodhi and Cassian and Luke as much as the orphans--gift him. Leia does not seem to want more fathers, is polite and interested in learning but staunch and formal. And Han. Doesn’t seem to understand the concept of parents at all, looks at both of them like he expects them to kick him off Lyra at any moment. The Wookie is older than both of them combined, and Baze has to stop himself from using honorifics like grandfather in Jedhan when speaking to him. 

“It’s pure there,” Chirrut says simply as though Baze ought to know and tugs harder on a bit of hair than Baze thinks he needs to.

Baze huffs through his nose but does not move, waits.

Chirrut hums in something that only Baze would know is slight disappointment, and Baze wonders what reaction his husband was aiming to get. “He doesn’t know he’s using it. It bends them to him. Things just work out. He doesn’t believe in it, but.”

“The Force believes in him,” Baze finishes, catches Chirrut’s wrist mid-air to pull the hand down, place a kiss on the palm even though it leaves wisps of his hair undone. “We’ve not seen that before.”

“Neither the Whills nor the Jedi knew all the secrets of the Force, my love. To presume otherwise is foolish.”

“Like you?”

Chirrut clicks his tongue and lifts his face as though astounded by the suggestion. “Force, why did you burden me with such a man?”

“That’s not what you said the other night.”

When Chirrut moves his face back down, slightly off-center, Baze feels a thrill at the smirk stretched across his face. “Really? I don’t remember that at all.”

“No?”

“No. Not a bit.”

Threading his fingers into Chirrut’s robe to pull him down, Baze chuckles. “Perhaps I can remind you.”

The next morning finds Baze alone with the orphans, Chirrut having taken the others into the forest for meditation that morning at Luke’s request. For the most part, the orphans entertain themselves, and Baze is simply keeping an eye out to make sure that nothing goes awry while tinkering with several of the droids who need some slight repairs following Kay and Artoo’s modification battle. None of the Lyra droids need flamethrowers, for Force’s sake.

He’s just about done fixing the fourth and final flamethrower bedecked droid when he hears high pitched squeals of laughter coming from outside. Where none of the orphans are supposed to be at the moment but have obviously taken advantage of his distraction to sneak out. Wiping the grease off on his pant legs, Baze rises slowly and makes his way to the courtyard, but the sight that greets him makes him pause in the doorway.

In the center of the courtyard, surrounded by orphans, covered in them--one on his shoulders, one clamped around each of his legs, a toddler balanced on his hip as if it has always belonged there--is Han Solo. Han Solo, smuggler, killer, in it for the money, Force caped, loner, is covered in children, smiling. Baze knows people. He has always had a keen, quick eye for knowing people, for seeing through their layers to the heart of them. Chirrut has accused him of using the Force for this and maybe that is true, but Baze mostly thinks it’s because, unlike his husband, he is quiet, patient, looks, listens, studies.

Yet, he could not have suspected this facet of the man Luke brought to them, proclaiming him to be his best friend, proclaiming him to be a hero, and all Baze had seen was what Solo wanted to show them, scruffy, hard, alone. 

He should have known, really, he’s worn those clothes before.

Han’s interactions with the children tell a different story. This is a man who has interacted with children before, a lot, who likes them. Not like Jyn who took ages to warm to the orphans or Cassian who is gentle but seems to worry about breaking them. Or Leia who is always kind yet somewhat clinical and detached. Han is none of these things. Han knows how to tickle to make them laugh with glee, and is saying all the normal things one does in play. Of them all, Han reminds him most of Bodhi in this moment.

“Hey, hey. You guys have got me. Okay. I’m beat.” It’s not the voice of a man who can fire a gun without looking and never miss a shot.

And then it stops. Because Han has seen him. Han has been caught. And his teeth are locked in a grimace that makes Baze wonder what his own face looks like to elicit such an expression.

“You were losing some of them,” he says, recovering quickly. “I just thought I’d save you from having to track them through the trees.”

“You can play with them. They like you.”

“Yeah, I just.” Han has managed to step out of the arms encircling his legs without dislodging either the child on his hip or the one on his shoulders with the ease of someone familiar with such a task. “It’s probably not the best idea. You know. I’m not.”

Baze accepts the toddler when Han hands him over, watches as Han easily sets the girl from his shoulders onto the ground.

“I’m probably not a good role model for `em anyway.” Smuggler. Killer. Greedy. Swindler. Scruffy. 

Nothing.

Baze looks at him and sees his thoughts, his worries etched across his face. Baze looks at him and sees. Orphan. Oh.

When Baze claps his hand against his thigh, the children gather around him, ready and eager and listen. “Go back inside and wait for me. I won’t be long.” The rest of the children scuttle back into the main building, leaving Baze and Han standing across from each other, the toddler still in Baze’s arms, occupied with curling his fingers into Baze’s beard.

“Is that why you’ve stayed on your ship so much, Captain Solo?”

Han acts like more of a boy than even Luke, shifting his weight from foot to foot and looking at his beloved ship more than at Baze. “I don’t go in for your hocus-pocus.” And I’m a smuggler. I’ve killed people. These last things go unsaid, do not need to be said because Baze knows them already. How Han thinks he is a bad person unfit to be around the children. How Han thinks any set of commitments could turn ugly without any notice. How he doesn’t know whether or not he should run. How he doesn’t want to.

How afraid he is of that fact.

“That’s okay,” Baze says, and he means it. The Force believes in Han. Baze has always believed even when he was angry and resentful, he knew it was there. Han has never known the Force as the Force. He has known it as always getting through by the skin of his teeth, Baze will not destroy the kind of faith he has by naming it. That’s not his place.

Han rubs a hand on the back of his neck, his eyes still on anything but Baze. “Look. I’m not. I’m not saying that Luke can’t manage to do exceptional things. I just. I don’t know how they work.” And I’m scared to know how they work.

“Captain Solo, you do not owe us an explanation of what you do or do not believe.” There is no handbook for this kind of interaction. Baze does not know quite what he is trying to assuage. With Jyn, he knows that she wants people to listen and help her understand feelings that are too big for her. Bodhi needs help finding his way out of the panic-stricken portions of his mind that can be too much sometimes. Cassian needs help admitting that he needs help. 

Han stands there, lost but whole in his own way because he has had enough years to make himself into something even if he doesn’t seem to like whatever it is he has made. This is me, he almost seems to say, and I don’t like it either but you cannot take it away from me.

No, Baze thinks, and he doesn’t really want to because whatever Han has made himself, he knows to be gentle with children.

“You’re an orphan,” Baze says.

The way Han’s shoulders snap up is the answer before even the words, which could be the opening to a duel if Baze was another person, the one before the death and the coming back. “Yeah.”

“You’re good with them. Would you like to help me until the others come back?”

Han’s mouth, once stretched thin like something ready to tear, falls open, and his eyes are wide, vulnerable. Baze can almost see him as a boy then before he closes his mouth and looks away. And nods. “I can do that. For you. I can do that.”

“Thank you, Captain Solo.” Baze turns to walk back into the building.

It takes a moment longer than he expected because Han seems to do everything in his own time, but it comes. Like he knew it would. “Han.”

[starfilled-heart]

You could never understand me. Never. But hey, it s true that i don't help you with that. There are a lot of things i keep buried inside me that affect me.

For example, let s talk first about my habit to lie. You don't know its roots. You know nothing (*cough* Jon snow *cough*). In my whole life, i couldn't have had nothing, NOTHING, if it weren't for the lies of my mom and I. You know my dad s a spender. And he spends everything my family has. You consider me a spender. He s much, much, much worse. If my mom and i wouldn't have lied, we wouldn't have fucking anything. Nada. Null. Zero. Not my laptop, not my fucking phones, not fucking therapy or meds (which, yeah, i don't take anymore, but they re on the list), not even any of the gifts i gave you... Or even my nice shaped teeth. You don t know, but my canines were very high up on my gums and i would look like a vampire with my crooked teeth. My clothes. They re again from lies. The good food we give to our dogs. You have no bloody idea. A lie for me means to live well, unbothered, unless ofc, my dad gets angry and stuff happens. Almost all the money i have are from lying. My father doesn't give me enough for a living in this city. Do you understand? No, you won't. If we wouldn't have lied and hid money, we wouldn't be what we are today. I wouldn't have my plants. Or the things that make me me.

And yes, i did lie to you. Also no, i m not fucking cheating on you. You aren t a physics test so i d cheat on you. You re my human. No matter what bullshit i pull and hurt you, i would never do that.

My purpose is not anymore to be believed by anyone. I know my truths and i know my lies.

Yes, i do wish you never met me because that would erase every bad memory i gave you. Or bad feeling. I'm just hurting you at this point. And i feel like when i can talk about my stuff, i m not listened to and understood. I m not fucking trying to find excuses, i m just fucking trying to make you understand who, what i am. Im not victimizing myself, i think. I ll look more into that tho.

However, one of these days someone that became dear to me asked me after i told him what I've gone through with my depression and anxiety etc. He asked: how do you see yourself right now? I really didn't know what to answer at first. After i thought about it, i said "i see myself as a wounded thing, that s always hurting but it s trying to hide that with acts of charity, with "trying to do good".

I stopped talking in the server by the way. I m done with our arguments and my lies about it. All of this made me feel like I'm not allowed to talk with them. I talk with you all day long. I miss talking with them too, ok? And i can t talk to one if i don't stop for a bit talking to the other one. If you accept that i need to do that, then i swear i ll stop lying about it.

You know, i had a bf when i was on my 3rd and 4th grade. Idk why, once i was so mad at him and i wrote him one of those letters where you cuss someone as insulting as you can and after that you either burn the letter or delete the message. I still remember that i called him "broken computer". I still laugh when i remember that.

And about shutting off and telling you less and less things. I started doing that because you stopped doing it. It made me feel like i don t matter enough to you anymore so you d share the little things during the day with me...

Now, secondly, sometimes i simply can t understand you. I want us to make the difference between when it s a date or just time we agreed on spending together. This thing that s not clarified is fucking with my mind. Because once we had a similar thing and you were angry ofc (rn i m talking about the argument we had before i went out of the country). But when i do it for the same reason, i m just overreacting. You don t know how hurt i was when we couldn't spend that night as i wished. I m glad i helped you with your stuff, ofc, but i was left empty. Alone. Uncared for. i have all the fucking right to act and feel the way that i did then. You can t tell me otherwise.

Thirdly, i d want to tell you about how hard it s for me lately at work. I ve been shouted at, i realized how strong the nepotism is there, i m given contradictory commands and i m being criticized for sitting around but i m just actually doing something that s helping my other coworkers... It s fucking shitty. And if I'm intimidated and i panick and i make a mistake i m just told to let others do it, if i know that i can't handle it and that makes me feel like a burden, like i can t do shit. When i m actually very capable. But i feel like no one acknowledges my growth. Just me, myself and i. And when others do a mistake, it s completely fine and it s because *i* was intimidating them.

Lastly, i want to bring to your attention that we already fucking talked about me not being able always to call you when I say that i ll call you. Stop giving me that much shit about it. I simply can t do that, i m too distracted. And it s not that you don t matter to me. Because you do. I put a lot of effort in the gifts i give you and that s in a way how i show you how much you mean to me. I think that s one of my love languages at this point. I simply can t do that when I tell you. I ll stop saying that i ll call you when x or after x.

Ps: I realized that I'm still affected by the time when you shouted at me on the phone. And when a slight change in your tone appears, i start panicking a bit and cry.

[moonfox281]

I can't help it but I see Dick from your mobwife series as someone who can't spend like 200$ on something because it is too much and Jay, Trevor and Jeff have fun of him because he is literally husband of one of the richest crimelord and son of billionaire and if somebody dare him to spend a lot of money at once he invest it in orphan house

“So, this one is on sale.”

“If we buy another IKEA table, I’m burning that whole place down.”

One Saturday, one free peaceful Saturday morning after such a long week of working and being vigilantes, and Dick just have to settle on hunting for on sale furniture. It would have been fine if said on sale furniture wasn’t some cheap stuff that either took 5 hours to put together or wouldn’t last for more than a week, or both. Jason still briefly remembered the last time Dick was so angry at him he decided to throw a whole lamp at him, and that lamp just fell apart while halfway in the air.

“Besides, we don’t need another coffee table.” He said, nudging his foot into Dick’s lab.

“But it’s cheap.” Dick stayed stubborn and showed Jason his laptop screen.

Yep, there was no way in hell they were going to buy that table. “You know how ridiculous it is when you said that?”

“So, I saw Blue at Trader Joe today.”

Not this shit again.

“I thought I pay you better than that.”

“You do, it’s just old habit. The question is why Blue was there.” Trevor didn’t seem like he would drop the subject soon, Jason cursed Dick for charming his men this hard. They were Jason’s men, this whole gang was supposed to devour itself for the Red Hood, now Jason constantly felt like they were just an army of giant puppies that followed Dick’s every step.

“You tell me, I can’t control him.” Not in the way that he could control Jason. Fuck his life, one bat of those lashes and he would come kneeling, mob boss or not.

“You know how shaken the cashier was when he just stood there like a Hollywood star with a diamond ring on his hand that shone like a disco ball? I tagged along to make sure he wasn’t going to get robbed or something. Jesus, boss.”

Yes, letting his husband wandering around the not so friendly neighborhood looking like that and dressing like that, wasn’t always such a good idea. Jason did have a bad habit of painting Dick in fancy jewelry that looked so fucking nice on that silky golden tanned skin and made his gorgeous blue eyes popped like heaven.

“I’ll give him a word about that.” Jason decided, already knew he couldn’t convince Dick to stop going for grocery alone or even chose some other place without landing himself on the couch tonight.

“You boys are here to help, not to look like you’re about to kill someone. So quit it!” Blue hissed, making the whole team jumped.

Jeff tried his best to not look like he was touching his guns three times in every 10 seconds. The whole store looked like it was ripped out of some Zombieland’s scene, which meant it suck, and stunk so fucking bad one of his men sneezed the first second they stepped in here. Jeff wasn’t even sure if he should let Blue’s pretty slimy fingers touch any of these out-of-date looking stuff on the rack.

After 10 minutes, Blue decided he had taken it enough and tore apart the team’s formation, ordering them to get as many supplies as possible because today was such a lovely day to go donating foods to some homeless people out on the street. It had been long since Boss assigned this much of arm force for Blue’s protection team for just daily casual stuff like this. Stupid Trevor must have spilled with the man about the Trader Joe incident, Jeff had told him Boss was too scared of Blue he wouldn’t say anything to his husband at all. In return, to shut Trevor’s worry up, he assigned more men tagging after Blue for just a walk out of the house and now Jeff was taking the full hit of it.

It wasn’t like Jeff wasn’t anxious to carry Blue’s billionaire ass back to the penthouse in Diamond District or Boss’s fortress in Crime Alley, but Blue was stubborn and hard to handle, damn it Trevor.

“Pfft, the last time I saw a weirdo buying this much can food, he thought the apocalypse was getting close.”

And of course came with the shitty store, was a shitty cashier.

“But I guess with a face like that, people will take in even the stupidest thing you throw out, huh?” The guy huffed, eyes taking a quick swept at Blue that made Jeff itch to blow his brain out.

“Watch your fucking mouth.” A guy from the team hissed, despite Blue telling them to all get in line and pretend like they were just casual customers and didn’t know each other.

“Oi, what’s your problem, man?” The guy waved the scanner around. He looked like a junkie, with that beard and the freckles around his upper shoulder. Jeff hated this place.

“Just ignore him and do the rest of my stuff, please.” Blue sighed and tried to be polite.

“Okay okay. Jeez, you pretty people are demanding.”

Blue did his best to stay emotionless, glaring at the one that had barked out first in the corner of his eyes. Stupid Bob.

Everything would have turned out perfectly fine if that pig of a cashier didn’t spot out Blue’s giant ring when he handed over the cash.

“Fag huh, must have got some sweet sugar daddy.” He muttered, and Blue had already turned toward the door far enough to not hear anything, but others were still in line and every single one of them caught the words perfectly.

They lost their shit in a matter of seconds, pulling their guns out even before Jeff got the order out of his mouth. The cashier looked like he was about to faint when 7 pistols pointed at his face at the same time, lucky for them the whole place was so shitty looking they were the only customers. Speaking about that, the only reason they were here instead of some more decent, nice looking store was that because Blue felt pity for the place at the first time.  

“The…the fuck!” The fucker yelled, looking desperate when Bob went toward Blue, took the plastic bags for him and pulled him close to him, locking the front door of the store and flipping the “CLOSED” sign out. “You… you want money..? He..here, I can get it for you.”

Blue was escorted back to Jeff and immediately he hovered over the smaller man, shielding him close with his massive body mass. Blue pinched the bridge of his nose, groaned and turned his head to murmur near Jeff’s neck. “What did I told you guys?”

“Sorry, but some people just don’t deserve your suffering like this.”

“This is so unsightly!” Blue hissed back when the cashier dumped all the cash out from the drawer without them demanding for any. “Ugh, just put that back please, we’re not here to rob anything.”

“Blue…” One of his guys tried.

“Don’t Blue me!” Blue glared and grunted in that dictatorial voice he rarely used. “I don’t know what the heck my husband had told you, but I don’t like this ridiculous protective shit you’re all pulling.”

He stopped to take a breath, pulling out his phone and yep, Boss was so dead. Blue spent a good five minutes yelling at the speaker in French and judging by the gap between each sentence, Jeff could read Boss didn’t get much speaking in this.

“We’re buying this place.” He stated after closing the phone, eyes staring straight at the cashier.

“Wait, what? This whole place?” The fucker looked disbelieved.

“Yes, this whole place.” Blue repeated nonchalantly. “From now, I want you to invite every homeless person in here and charge free for every item they pick, understand?”

“What the…” The idiot yelped. “Who do you think you are to−”

Jeff fired the gun into the gum rack and the next thing they know, that fat fucker had already run out of the store yelling at the old man pushing the cart across the street.

[thetravellingvagrant]

Day 15- Brno: In Which I Don’t See Any Bears

I was reluctant to check out of my room. Not because I had formed any great attachment to it; the bed was stiff and uncomfortable; the temperature swayed, seemingly on a whim, from far, far too hot to far, far too cold and the walls were littered with, as I have mentioned, just the most bizarre and asinine little non-slogans,  in the most bizarre and asinine locations; e.g. “light my fire” printed on the communal fridge and “wacky way” above my bed. What could that possibly even mean?

No, I didn't love, or to be honest even like my room, though I was still desperate to cling to it for as long as I could as these would be the last moments I would spend, for nearly a week, with my own private space. Due to my late addition of an extra day to my stay here, all the single rooms had been booked for the next evening and Austria is just so crushingly, dizzyingly expensive that I simply couldn't afford one there, either., so it was dorm rooms for me for the immediate future. What fun.

Forlornly I trudged down to the reception to trade rooms. My new room wasn't ready- obviously- though I was given the key anyway and told to shoo for a few hours. I obliged, leaving my backpack full of crap in the reception's waiting area as I did.

I only had one real plan for the day and it was one that has been conspicuously absent from this year's trip, thus far. I was going to the zoo.  

The zoo was located quite some distance out of town, so I would need to catch a tram. Fortunately, having been in Prague, like, a month and a half ago, I was something of a dab hand at navigating Czech public transport and boarded my tram without issue or embarrassment. So hah.

Half an hour later, I was at the zoo. I spent some (...a little too much) time admiring the truly busted murals they had painted on the park's external walls

Well hi there, friend...

before paying the entrance fee and charging inside. It was time to zoo.

The zoo itself wasn't bad at all, from a welfare standard (at least not when compared to some of the horrific animal gulags I have visited in the past. I'm looking at you, Chisinau.); it was clean; clearly well tended to and the animals, for the most part, had a frankly ludicrous amount of space to frolic, cavort and otherwise be merry in- the bears in particular had been gifted an especially amply spaced enclosure.

Pictured: Not a bear.

In fact, barring a couple of missteps- the chimps had perhaps less space than I would have liked to see and a squirrel had gotten into one of the lemur houses and had to dart around the space in a panic so as not to be caught by one of those big-eyed bastards and dashed against a rock by its tail- I had almost no qualms at all about the welfare of the animals, there. So that was nice. For once.

Less nice was the fact that I was not convinced that the zoo actually had any animals in it to enjoy all this space. It was winter,  fairly cold and on the verge of getting dark for the duration of my visit, so a good number of the animals were spending their time hiding away in their warm little houses rather than presenting themselves for the world (me) to see, a lot of the walkways in the zoo- the only way, for the most part, to get close enough to particular enclosures to see anything- were out of order for...god knows what reason and a good sized corner of the zoo was inaccessible, completely due to one of the polar bears being pregnant and needing a bit or ruddy peace and quiet to squirt out a pup. Now, all of these things are entirely understandable and individually, I probably wouldn't have even noticed them, though they did add up over time and as I left, having walked for three and a half hours to see something around eight animals, I did begin to wonder if my trip had been entirely worth it... regardless, I still enjoyed my time there and if nothing else, it was set on a large hilltop park that offered rather lovely views of the city, so that was nice.

By now I was getting peckish. Owing to taking an extra day in the city and having taken no extra kuna to accommodate this, I was running low on funds. My plan then, was to scrape together as big a meal as I could  from what was on offer in the pleasingly cheap Christmas markets, from the money I had. Somehow, I still doubted that I would go hungry, tonight.

Another heaped plate of potatoes and meat, dripping in grease and a chocolate crepe to (again) take the taste away, somehow also dripping in grease later, I returned to the hostel, having filled my stomach more efficiently than I had emptied my wallet, by some margin.

My dorm was...fine. It was essentially just my single room again, but with more people in it. I've slept in worse rooms with worse company. That being said, there were a few little irksome moments throughout the night. The Chinese girl in the bed opposite me, for the most part was okay, though had the utterly infuriating habit of neglecting to turn her phone's ringtone down, even slightly and even while carrying off a full-scale text conversation with apparently everyone she has ever known.

Thus I had to endure an evening full to bursting with “BUHDABUHDAH”s sounding off every few seconds; not even in a nice rhythmic pattern, so you might almost be able to get into it, either. Fully sporadic, unpredictable screeching all night. Sometimes with the tone cutting off, having been interrupted by a repetition of itself. Utterly jarring each and every time it happened.

We were joined later by a rude man, who had just checked in. He barged through the door, loudly and carelessly and began examining the room's beds.

“excuse me!” he shouted in vaguely my direction, in an accent I couldn't identify.

“uh, yeah?” I replied

“Do you know which beds are free?”

I didn't. I had been engrossed in my laptop and had made a point, as I always do in these situations, to actively ignore every other person in the room as best I can.

“Oh, no, sorry.”

he looked incredulous.

“Come on” he laughed “you must know”

I did not, nor did I have any reason to.

“Sorry, really not sure!”

He adopted a deeply condescending tone and spoke slowly like I was an idiot, “which...beds...have...you...seen...people...in?”

Jesus, okay, calm down, fella. It's not even close to my job to know this information for you. Irritated, I adopted a similarly unhelpful tone

“See the beds which are all messy and have people's stuff next to them?” I asked, not giving him an opportunity to answer “those are probably free, yeah?”

I pushed my headphones back into my ears and watched him huff and puff his way into what was clearly a free bed. He didn't speak to me again. He did snore though, so he was a grade-a cunt on at least two fronts.

Not long after, I removed my earphones from my headcaves and pushed my gummy earplugs as deep into my ears as they would go before touching my brain to replace them and slept as best as I could, amidst a sea of snores, wheezes and bahdabahdahs.