#eileens got a thing about marriage also but ill get into it later

[ellanainthetardis]

And today, I bring you the baby shower from hell.

[FF] or [AO3]

27. Thirty One Weeks

Haymitch was in hell.

Baby showers were no fun.

He had naively thought the wedding would mark the end of the Trinkets’ visit. Naively. It had turned out that, while Tadius had needed to go back to the Capitol for business, Lyssandra, Elindra and the kids were perfectly happy to stay a while longer – although the kids were mostly under the nanny’s supervision. It had been Elindra’s idea to take advantage of Annie’s and Johanna’s presence to throw an impromptu baby shower – although it might not have been that impromptu because gifts and presents had been in their trunks – which was how Haymitch had found himself stuck in a room full of women.

Liam Clarke had tried to get him out of it by inviting him for a coffee but Effie had told him under no uncertain terms the shower was for Aidan and thus for the both of them and that she wouldn’t have him being rude by skipping the party.

His only consolation was that Johanna and Katniss seemed as overjoyed was he was. The two of them were sitting a bit apart from the others and regularly exchanged eye rolls and sarcastic smirks. Haymitch had chosen to stand between the couch and the window so he could at least have some distraction and had flat out refused to partake in the games the Capitols had planned.

Decorating your own romper?

A diaper change competition?

What sort of games were those?

And when had Elindra or Lyssandra ever changed a diaper?

Effie was having a blast though, so he kept his peace about how stupid the whole thing was.

“Now, ladies, it is time for gifts!” Elindra declared, tossing him a pointed glance.

Effie’s smile was softer when she patted the empty spot next to her on the couch. With a deep sigh and a glare for Johanna, whose snickers weren’t appreciated, he dutifully took his seat next to his wife while the others gathered their presents.

His eyes fell on the diamond on her finger and it made him relax. The marriage was only five days old and he still got a thrill out of thinking about her being his wife. He had always thought a wedding would be more of a formality than anything else but he had to admit he was enjoying the idea of belonging that went with it. He belonged to her and she belonged to him. They were a family in every sense of the term now.

She discreetly brushed her lips against his cheek. “Just a little while longer and you can safely make your escape. Do remember to rescue Katniss, the poor dear will roll her eyes out of her skull.”

“Not Jo?” he asked, in a low voice that didn’t carry much further.

“Jo can suffer a bit longer.” she countered. She flashed him a grin full of mischief and he couldn’t help but chuckle, always a bit mystified by their strange friendship.

Katniss was actually the first to hand a gift, as if it could get her out of there quicker.

“It’s from Peeta.” she told them. “For the baby’s room.”

The boy would have enjoyed the party a lot more than the girl had but he was stuck at the bakery. The reopening was imminent and it had become a priority.

Peeta had painted a stunning view of the Capitol by night. Haymitch wasn’t sure it would fit in the nursery and, given Effie’s grateful but slightly tense smile, she agreed. They would figure that out later, he guessed.

Eileen Clarke’s gift was a sort of sling that had Annie and Jo nodding to each other as if it was the most practical thing. It completely threw Katniss and the two Capitol women. It turned out, it was sturdy fabric that allowed to safely carry the baby while leaving both hands free and, it seemed, it was also helpful when the infant needed feeding.

“I have never seen something like this in my life.” Lyssa frowned, inspecting the embroidered white fabric with obvious interest. “Very ingenious…”

“I guess you can only find them in the Districts…” Eileen ventured with a shrug that soon turned into a smile. “Anyway, it will be your best friend, Effie, trust me. And you can use it too, Haymitch.”

He let out a non-committing noise and snatched the baby sling as soon as they had moved on to Elindra’s gift – a complete set of baby plates, cutlery and small cups made out of silver that he preferred to ignore.

“Talk about being born with a silver spoon in his mouth.” he grumbled for Effie’s ear only.

He was painfully – accidentally – elbowed in the side for his trouble.

“How lovely, Mother!” she exclaimed in her fake cheerful voice, studying every piece with attention.

Haymitch chose to examine the baby sling instead, testing the fabric to make sure it would hold. It seemed resistant enough…

“The baby won’t fall.” Annie told him knowingly. “It is very useful. That’s a really nice gift.”

Eileen smiled warmly at her and Four’s victor shyly withdrew a little, still uncomfortable in a crowd – and with so many people in their living-room, it was a crowd.

“That’s from Annie and me.” Johanna mumbled, putting a term to the Capitols gushing over the ridiculous silver set. She tossed the wrapped box in Effie’s direction and Haymitch immediately dropped the sling to intercept it before it could do something harmful – like hit her stomach. Seven’s victor snickered. “Nice reflexes, old man.”

“Watch it.” he snarled, placing a protective hand on the baby bump.

It was soon covered by Effie’s. “I am fine. Do not be rude.”

“Rude?” he repeated, baffled. “She could have…”

“I am fine.” she insisted firmly. “Now, open the box.”

He tore the paper away, paying no mind to Elindra’s chiding about unwrapping gifts properly, and stared at the box in complete puzzlement.

“What the fuck is a breast pump?” he asked the room at large, handing the box to Effie in case she had a better idea than he had.

“We didn’t know if you were planning on breastfeeding…” Annie hesitated. “But we thought… Just in case…”

“Perfect gift for a cow.” Jo added with a pleased grin at her own joke.

Haymitch’s eyes widened when he realized what the machine’s purpose was and then he made a face, snatching the box back as if to better protect her from the torture tool. “But it’s gotta hurt like a bitch. She can do it the normal way.”

“You sweet innocent man.” Eileen chuckled.

Lyssa openly shuddered. “I tried breastfeeding once, then we decided to switch to formula.”

“Is it that painful?” Effie frowned with a bit of apprehension.

“It does not matter.” Elindra swiftly cut in. “No need to torture yourself and deform your breasts with that. We are not in barbaric times. Formula is just as good. Both Lyssandra and you were brought up that way and you turned out perfectly alright.”

“Books say it’s healthier if the mother breastfeeds.” Haymitch argued, flushing a nice shade of crimson because the last thing he wanted was to discuss that sort of things in a room full of women.

“Easy for you to say when you’re not the one who will end up being sucked on.” Jo snorted.

Effie was becoming jittery and Eileen leaned over to squeeze her hand.

“We’re scaring you for nothing.” the woman said, sounding reassuring. “It’s not that bad. It’s different for everyone anyway.”

“Oh, yes!” Lyssa hurried in agreeing, clearly noticing her sister’s tension. “And, in any case, nothing can be as bad as the birth itself.”

Effie grew white but bravely smiled all the same. “And how bad is that?”

“It is bad until they allow you the drugs.” Lyssa wisely nodded.

“The drugs are the best.” Eileen agreed.

“It was a relief.” Annie concurred, a bit dreamily.

“It was good stuff.” Jo snorted. Haymitch didn’t ask how she knew that, he figured she must have stolen some.

“I am having a home delivery.” Effie announced.

All the women save from Katniss, who looked bored and confused, paled except for Elindra who audibly gasped.

“You cannot be serious, Euphemia.” her mother stuttered. Haymitch automatically reached for Effie’s hand for support. She clung to it. “It is not safe. And the pain… You won’t be able to stand the pain, trust me.”

“I can handle a lot of pain.” Effie retorted, probably vexed. “I have had a lot of practice in that department.”

Everyone fidgeted, ill at ease with that reminder of the war, but Elindra stood steadfast, her lips pursed and her arms folded. “I absolutely forbid it.”

Haymitch scoffed. “You think you can give orders under my roof, lady?”

“I am her mother.” Elindra hissed. “And I won’t see her get through an unnecessary painful and traumatizing ordeal when there is a perfectly viable alternative. I am astounded you would stand for this ridiculous decision, Haymitch. Home delivery! In this day and age! Why, pray tell, won’t you have this child in a hospital like everyone else?”

“Because she can’t.” Katniss spat, glaring at the woman. “She’s strong and we’ll be with her. Leave her alone.”

“Thank you, dear.” Effie cleared her throat. “Do not work yourself up for this. It is not worth it.”

“Home deliveries are a lot more common than you’d think.” Eileen interjected, clearly uncomfortable with the blunder that had just been committed. “And it’s natural.”

“What does she mean you can’t?” Elindra frowned, refusing to take the hint.

“Can you drop it already?” Haymitch growled.

“Would you mind your manners?” the woman deadpanned. “I am not talking to you, your negligence in this matter flabbergasts me. I would have expected you to be the first to demand a safe delivery for mother and child. You…”

“It is not Haymitch’s decision to take, it is mine.” Effie snapped, squeezing Haymitch’s hand as if by reflex.

“It is a preposterous decision.” her mother huffed.

“Perhaps, but it is mine.” she scowled.

“And am I obliged to simply accept a decision you cannot even properly justify?” Elindra bristled. “If you do not trust the local hospital, something I cannot fault you for, perhaps you should consider coming back to the city with us for the last couple of months. I do apologize, Euphemia, but I am not exactly reassured by the idea of you…”

“She can’t go to a hospital without having a panic attack or a flashback.” Katniss hissed, bolting to her feet in anger. “And she’s not getting anywhere near the Capitol. Back off.”

That declaration was followed by a heavy silence and Haymitch clucked his tongue once against his cheek in irritation. He was annoyed both by the situation and by Katniss who had just blurted out something that wasn’t exactly public knowledge.

It had the benefit of calming Elindra though. The woman looked subdued now, staring at her daughter with a mask of detachment that badly hid her worry and pain. Not that Haymitch cared about how she felt. Effie was clearly upset by the whole ordeal and anyone who upset Effie would have to answer to him.

Katniss was panting, glaring at Effie’s mother, her hands curled into fists…

“Perhaps you should go get some fresh air, Katniss.” Effie suggested calmly, as if nothing was amiss. He heard the steel in her voice though, the touch of irritation. The girl looked at her and then stormed out. She winced and released his hand. “You should follow her.” she told him. “Make sure she is alright.”

“She doesn’t need me.” he grumbled. “You do.”

“She always needs you.” she countered softly. “And I am a big girl who can handle herself. Go.” Johanna stood up but Effie glared at her. “You, sit back down, there are still gifts to unwrap.” She flashed them all a fake bright smile. “Now, Lyssa, I do believe it’s your turn…”

Haymitch hesitated for a few seconds and then, when he was sure she truly would be fine, he made his escape. Once outside, he immediately glanced around for Snowball before remembering that the puppy was with Lyssa’s kids – they asked if they could babysit him during the party and since they had always been respectful of the dog, he had found no objection to the three of them playing together. Tracking Katniss down wasn’t really difficult with or without the puppy though. He might not have been much of a hunter but the boots tracks in the muddy streets that went in the direction of the woods were a good clue.

He caught up with the girl long before she even reached the first tree.

“Care to explain what that was?” he asked, taking pain to keep his voice light.

Katniss violently kicked a pebble out of the way.

“I hate those people.” she snarled. “I don’t get why they’re still here. We don’t need them.”

“We don’t.” he shrugged. “Effie does. They’re her family.”

“We’re her family.” she snapped. “We’re her family and they want to take her away from us, don’t you get it?”

“Katniss…” he sighed, trying to keep up as she ducked under the branch of a low tree and entered the wood in a place that was clearly not a trail. He had to squeeze between trunks and watch his steps for a few minutes. He was seriously irritated by the time they reached a more practical spot. There were still deep heaps of snow here and there and the ground was treacherous. “Effie’s going nowhere.”

“That’s what you say now.” the girl retorted, walking so fast he had trouble keeping up. She knew the woods by heart, she automatically sidestepped slippery patches. It was like she was born there, he wasn’t that at ease in there. “But Jo’s right.”

“No sentence beginning with Jo’s right can be good.” he taunted. “The fuck she put inside your head, girl?”

Katniss stomped her feet for two minutes before she folded her arms over her chest, burrowing in her father’s old leather jacket. Haymitch figured she was regretting not having brought the bow. He was ready to bet if she had been armed any poor squirrel in a mile’s radius would have been hunted down.

“She’s going to go back to the Capitol.” she spilled out eventually.

He rolled his eyes. “That’s never going to happen.”

“Maybe not right now.” she hissed. “But Jo’s right. Now she’s back in touch with her family and they want her to come live with them and, one day, she’s going to wake up and she’s going to realize she’s too fabulous for Twelve.”

“She doesn’t think she’s too fabulous for Twelve.” he countered, even though that was a lie. It was Effie Trinket they were talking about. Of course, she was too fabulous for Twelve.

“Oh, please!” Katniss scoffed. “She had nowhere to go so she came here but don’t you get it? Now she has somewhere else to go! And she will leave and you will go with her because she has your baby and you won’t want to leave him.”

“Katniss, we’re not going anywhere.” he argued but she wasn’t listening.

“And what about me and Peeta? What about us?” she went on, completely oblivious to what he was saying. She was walking at random, ducking between trees and avoiding the most obvious hunting tracks. “Jo’s right. We won’t count. ‘Cause we’re not yours and…”

“Alright, enough.” he growled, grabbing her arm and tugging hard to make her stop moving. She faced him but she wouldn’t meet his eyes, she was stubbornly staring at his chest. “Where the fuck does that come from? We talked about this, yeah? I ain’t about to abandon my kid. Any of my kids.”

“But Jo’s right and we’re not really your kids.” the girl whispered, sounding sullen, jealous and a thousand things in between. “If Effie leaves with him…”

“Effie isn’t about to pack up and leave either.” he sighed in irritation. “When has she ever let you or the boy down, Katniss? We don’t leave our kids.”

“But we’re not your kids.” she insisted, glancing up.

She was quick to blink back the tears but he saw them anyway. And he was honestly stunned by them.

She wasn’t jealous or sullen, he realized. She was terrified.

So he did the only thing he could do, the instinctive thing, he used the grip he still had on her arm to pull her into his chest, hugging her fiercely, protectively.

“You listen to me, sweetheart, and you listen hard.” he muttered in her good ear. “You’re mine. Blood’s got nothing to do with it, you’re just as much mine as that baby boy, get it?”

“But…” Katniss argued, trying to wriggle free.

“No.” he spat, holding fast to her. “No buts. You’re mine. End of the story. I ain’t dying and I ain’t taking off. I’m not your dad and I’m not your mom. I’m your mentor, yeah? Mentors stick with their victors. It’s a forever kind of bond.” He rolled his eyes. “And Effie feels the same way I do and, frankly, sweetheart, it’s insulting you’d think anything else.”

She was hugging him back now and Haymitch relaxed a little when he felt her giving up on the flight response.

“Jo said…” she riposted weakly after a few minutes.

“Jo always says a lot of bullshit.” he cut her off. “Maybe she was trying to work you up, maybe she’s got her own insecurities.” He cupped the back of her head protectively. “Effie and I aren’t going anywhere. This is home, alright? Her family’s a pain in the ass but she’s got a right to want them in her life.”

“They abandoned her.” she grumbled, leaning her head on his shoulder. “She shouldn’t be giving them a second chance.”

He hesitated a moment and then decided it was all or nothing. “If your mom came back with an apology, you wouldn’t slam the door in her face.”

She broke the hug fast and started walking again. “It’s different.”

“Not really sure it is.” he argued, following after her. “They treated her wrong, nobody’s disputing that. Your mom treated you wrong too.”

“She did nothing bad.” Katniss hesitated.

“She did nothing at all.” he scoffed. “Doesn’t mean she’s not still your mom. So, maybe, if she visited, you’d like spending some time with her… Doesn’t mean you’d go back to live with her or that you’d follow her to Four, yeah?”

“She’s not my real family.” she snarled. “Not like Peeta and you.”

“But she’s family all the same.” he pointed out.

“I guess.” she granted with a sulk.

“Well, maybe Effie feels the same way.” he shrugged. “They’re her family but not like we are.”

“If they want her to leave…” she countered again.

“She’s not gonna leave.” he sighed. “She doesn’t want our kid brought up the same way she was.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t let Jo put ideas in your head. She’s lonely and miserable and she likes everyone to feel the same way she does. Come on… Let’s go home.”

It took a few more minutes to convince her to turn around.

By the time they came back to the Village, the party was over. Katniss would have headed straight for her house but he grabbed her arm and steered toward his, determined to burry that problem once and for all.

The house was warm and welcoming after the freezing woods. Something white and excited jumped around him before he even had time to take off his coat. He bent down to pat the puppy on the head, humoring him by pinning him down when it became clear the dog wanted to play.

“Haymitch?” Effie’s voice asked from the kitchen.

“Yeah.” he answered.

Katniss looked uncomfortable and she was sulking, eyeing Snowball with mistrust. Haymitch gently but firmly nudged her in the kitchen’s direction.

Effie was standing up, clearly waiting for the kettle to whistle, a hand applying pressure to the small of her back, the other clutching the edge of the counter.

“You’re alright?” he immediately worried.

“Yes, it is just my back acting up.” she dismissed, her blue eyes tracking Katniss’ every move with curiosity. Effie had always been good at body language and the way the girl was shuffling her feet and averting her gaze was probably screaming troubles at her. “Is everything settled?”

“Sure.” he snorted, pushing Katniss in her direction. It warranted him a glare but he ignored it. “So, you know how the books say parents have to make sure other kids don’t get jealous during the pregnancy? Like how it should be made clear the baby’s not going to replace them or whatever?” Katniss glared harder but Haymitch simply smirked as understanding dawned on Effie’s face. “Sweetheart, tell our stupid kid we ain’t gonna take off with the shrimp and leave her and Peeta to hang.”

“You’re an ass.” the girl scowled – not that it really mattered because Effie was already in her space.

For the second time that day, Katniss was forced into a hug.

“Oh, my dear… Don’t you know how I think about the two of you?” Effie whispered. “My victors…”

“She thinks maybe you’re gonna go back to the Capitol with our kid to your real family.” he mocked.

She met his eyes over Katniss’ shoulder – who was meekly trying to get out of that hug and failing because Effie could be very strong when she wanted to. He shrugged in answer to the unspoken question.

“This is my real family, Katniss.” Effie declared in a soft voice.

“He’s making it bigger than what I said.” the girl protested.

“It does not matter.” she retorted. “I love you. Know that. You and Peeta. I would not love you more if I had carried you. We are a family and the baby changes nothing.”

“I just don’t want you to leave.” Katniss finally admitted.  

“There is nowhere else I would rather be.” she replied, almost ferocious. “And nothing would make me leave you behind. I promise. Don’t you trust me?”

“Sure, I trust you.” The girl cleared her throat, embarrassed. She tried to break the hug again but there was no escaping their former escort’s embrace. “Effie, can you…”

The back door opened on Peeta who froze at the scene he had just interrupted and then frowned. “What’s going on?”

Haymitch couldn’t help but chuckle, more amused by the whole thing than he probably ought to be. He was in a very good mood. He walked around the table and pulled the boy in a parody of a hug that was entirely too tight and suffocating.

“Have you gone mad?” Peeta worried, trying to get him off him.

“Hush now, kid…” Haymitch taunted. “We’re having a family bonding moment.”

“Okay, you’ve all gone mad!” the boy insisted, finally managing to duck under his arm. He eyed them all warily. Effie had let go of Katniss but the girl was crimson and Haymitch figured she hadn’t shared her worries with her boyfriend for fear of being mocked.

“So, do we need to tell you that the new baby doesn’t mean we don’t care for you any less or you’re good?” he teased, unable to stop himself.

Peeta looked completely puzzled. “I’m… good. Thanks?”

“Haymitch, do not be mean.” Effie rebuked, her voice immediately softened when she turned to Peeta. “Although it is true we have been remiss. Peeta, neither Haymitch or I intends to leave and the baby won’t affect the love we have for the two of you.”

The boy stared at her, then studied Katniss, and in the end he turned to Haymitch.

“You were supposed to have a baby shower.” Peeta accused. “What else did I miss?”

“Effie’s having the baby at home, apparently there’s a pump to get milk out of her, both her mom and Jo are assholes and your girlfriend’s freaking out over us loving the baby more.” he answered. “All in a day’s work.”

“I never said that!” Katniss protested.

“Haymitch, now, that is absolutely unnecessary!” Effie snapped at the very same time.

“I’m always around. Why do interesting things always happen when I’m out?” Peeta complained.

Haymitch smirked, more proud than he could say.

That was his family.

A bit broken, a tad crazy, but his.

[psychotherapyconsultants]

7 Women Who Inspire Me

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” In other words, hang with the winners. A few months ago, my therapist gave me the assignment to think about the wise women in my life, warriors who had persevered through difficulties in their lives to emerge as stronger figures, examples of resilience who could serve as my teachers. I went even further and interviewed each one, asking them about the force or philosophy behind their strength.

The following women have survived illness, divorce, deaths, lay-offs, but pressed on with a tenacity that inspires me. They are world travelers, executives, communication professionals, caregivers, and master healers who have made the world a better place.

1. Rose Pike

Angel Rose holds a special place in my heart because she has showered me with kindness at difficult crossroads in my life. She was my editor at a health website three years ago when I experienced a severe depressive episode. Instead of berating me for my slower writing pace at that time, she sent me flowers and cut my workload in half. Kindness is synonymous with Rose. Her imprint of compassion is evident in every feature she publishes for the different websites she has worked for. As a writer, I am inspired by her unwavering dedication to disseminate stories of hope for persons faced with chronic conditions.

An adventurous spirit, Rose told me one of her biggest obstacles was breaking free from the routine and comfortable life of her family life growing up. Although difficult, she moved away from her hometown in order to find a new life of her own. “That distance helped me become my own person,” she said. The support of her daughter and daughter-in-law and her friends helps sustain her today.

Her advice to young women is to persist and to not resist change because things are always changing. To that end, her favorite quote is the chorus of Bob Dylan’s song, “Things Have Changed,” which says, “People are crazy and times are strange, I’m locked in tight, I’m out of range, I used to care, but things have changed.”

2. Carolyn Casey

Carolyn was seven when her mother committed suicide. Her father abandoned his children and left town. The bottom fell out of her world. She and her 2-year-old sister and 4-year-old brother lived with their grandparents, and Carolyn became the caretaker for her younger siblings.

Some years later, her father married a woman who despised Carolyn and was abusive to her. Her stepmother would lock herself in her room reading and separated herself from her children, which numbered seven at that time. Carolyn turned to a higher power and prayed for strength and courage. In her darkest moments, she knew from deep within herself that there was something greater than herself.

At age 40, Carolyn found herself divorced with three children. She now understood the pain her mother felt and why she wanted to end her life. She turned the struggles of her past into strength and courage, and a desire to help lift up others from their suffering and facilitate healing.  She could have given up and become an embittered person, but through the grace of a higher power she continues her journey in gratitude and knows for certain that there is something greater than ourselves that loves us even when we don’t. A feisty, single woman who devotes her time to causes, her children, grandchildren, and friends, she inspires me with her tireless energy toward service to others. Carolyn’s favorite quote is Soren Kierkegaard’s observation: “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

3. Eileen Bailey

I consider Eileen the female Job; however, she never whined to God. She simply took the next step to make her life better. Eileen endured the most difficult loss when she lost her son two years ago. Proactive in her grief and with everything in her life, she turned her pain into love and created scrapbooks of her son’s life for her grandson and formed a tighter bond with him.

I asked her how she was able to persevere through such a tragedy and keep a positive attitude. “Just do it,” she said, “like the Nike ad. Break your day down and do the thing in front of you.” She stays busy as a regular contributor to HealthCentral in addition to a day job.

Laughter and friends also keep her sane. After her second divorce, when her daughter moved away to school, she found herself lonely. She looked up a group on Meetup for women over 50, but they didn’t have many activities, so she created her own group. They met for breakfast six years ago and are still friends today.

Eileen’s favorite quotes are:

“We never truly get over a loss, but we can move forward and evolve from it.” – Elizabeth Berrien

“The journey never ends…”

“If you want to have a friend, you first need to be a friend,” one that her mother told her often and what drove her to create the Meetup group.

4. Lisa Hillman

Lisa never meant to become a poster child for parents coping with a child’s drug problem. She was an accomplished health care administrator, a fundraising executive married to former Annapolis Mayor Richard Hillman, and a mother of two.

Few people knew about the nightmare that was unfolding at home starting with a phone call from her son’s high school teacher the start of his senior year, alerting her to his possible marijuana use. Jacob’s addiction unraveled from there, resulting in a dependence on opiates that threw his life into reverse. Jacob’s story has a happy ending. He eventually got sober and stayed sober after visiting a few inpatient treatment centers.

Lisa chronicles the journey to hell and back in a riveting, poignant book called Secret No More: A True Story of Hope for Parents With an Addicted Child. But even more inspiring than her pages is the woman who wrote it. Her life, as well as her words, speak of the journey of shedding shame and guilt to make room for a bolder kind of love. In her blog, she shares powerful anecdotes on how to lower expectations, walk through fear, ask for support, let go of control, and hang on to hope. Whenever I experience bouts of insecurity about sharing my story, I call up Lisa for a much-needed reminder to be authentic.

Lisa has several favorite quotes:

“Take care of the little things and the big things will take care of themselves.” – from her father

“You are stronger than you know.” – from her mother

“One day at a time.”

“You can glance back at your past, just don’t stare.”

“We are here on earth to serve others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” – W.H. Auden

5. Jen Brining

Jen is the lay Mother Teresa, traveling the world and giving back in her unique way. She divides her time between her son’s house in New Jersey, helping with her new granddaughter, and leading Habitat for Humanity group trips in Asia, Africa, and Central America. These “volunteer vacations” entail more than erecting physical infrastructures, they build community. For Jen, there is nothing like the rewarding, emotional feeling she has every time she leaves a build.

“Although the initial intent is to help families by building a house, latrine, or a stove,” she explained to me, “we are immersed in their community, in their homes … in their lives. There is a unique bonding of friendships between fellow volunteers, the deserving homeowner, the local community, and international cultures.”

Jen’s hardest obstacle was losing a child, one of two twins at birth. She overcame it by being the best mother she could possibly be to her amazing two children. Her advice to young women? “Be yourself, follow your dreams, but take the opportunity to travel internationally as soon as you can. It will change your outlook on life.” Her favorite quote is “Not All Who Wander Are Lost,” often attributed to J.R.R. Tolkien.

6. Michelle Rapkin

Even as Michelle’s professional life blossomed early with several executive positions within the publishing field, her love life took a little longer. In her mid 40s, Michelle met and married the love of her life, Bob, and lived 10 years of happy ever after until he died from complications from gall bladder surgery. She took the tragedy in stride because she was well-trained in the school of hard knocks.

Just two years after marrying Bob, Michelle was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which she eventually beat, achieving remission. One of Michelle’s best gems concerns the 14 days between her blood tests and a diagnosis. “Don’t waste 14 days,” became her motto, not just about that time of uncertainty but about life with cancer and anxiety and loss. She made a very deliberate intention to live life to the fullest.

Today Michelle’s cancer has returned, and she is in the midst of different treatments. Once again, she concentrates her efforts on moving forward and does not waste any time in regret. Michelle’s favorite quote is “This, too, shall pass.”

7. Mary Beth Beaudry

Strong women make remarkable mothers. Mary Beth’s absolute devotion to her two daughters immediately impressed me as well as her ambition to live a life well lived with a strong moral compass, characterized by integrity, respect, and service and love toward others. While her marriage of 20 years was collapsing to take better care of herself so that she could, in turn, take better care of her daughters, she was proactive in four ways: she relied upon her faith, embraced Transcendental Meditation, focused on her work as Research Nurse Manager and Program Administrator for the Mood Disorders Center at Johns Hopkins, and pursued her own growth gaining admittance to a top doctoral program. Her ambition is to be the greatest mother and role model for her daughters that she can be. 

Mary Beth is a personal cheerleader to countless persons, including me, who battle mood disorders. She was the first one to send me an encouraging note after I published a very raw post about my suicidal ideations. Her compassion and optimism, combined with her skills as a communicator, spread hope to those who desperately need it and inspire those burdened by different conditions to take the next step toward wellness. Mary Beth shared she adopted Kesha’s “Praying” as her personal anthem during the most challenging time in her life: “I’m proud of who I am…. I can breathe again…. and now the best is yet to come.”

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-women-who-inspire-me/