#eh it's fine not the point. the point is. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[bi-demon-ium]

a hug from nicholas benedict would solve all my problems actually

[by-glass-and-waves]

oh dude dude what do you MEAN "sorry guys who are looking for delicious Courtship/Restart goodies" I LOVE DEPRESSION QUEST, and i love the fact that theres someone else out there that has a runaway narinder AU

the idea of a completely power hungry lamb who disregards narinder as a person is so uncommon, i dont think ive actually seen that dynamic played out in a story/hc tbh ??? so i am LIVING for this, it truly is the spice of life

n like letting him runaway n waits for him to come crawling back??? absolutely maliciously delicious content

but nARINDER OH NARINDER angry, break down, self imploding beloved!!! again there isnt enough completely broken down ISOLATED(emotionally) conceded narinders, so many au's have him conceded, but they always including the lamb trying to get him comfortable and okay, never narinder just being tolerated and treated like property or a trophy and i love that fucked up dynamic

i'd really love to know more abt baal and ayms place in the cult too, are they like mini trophies ? or are they just "eh another follower"

either way the idea of narinder self imploding to the point of complete isolation (running away) is such a good idea, im living for it !!! and the idea of a ratoo & narinder friendship from this has consumed my brain greatly, i love that idea i actually had a brain wave pic pop up in my brain, so i'll draw fanart of this AU later bc i adore it

WHOA I was at work and I was like "I got an aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" oh man I'm glad you really like the idea! I think I did see some fics like this (well not Narinder dips fics)

I will let you know that these qs making me go "wait hm this would fit into the AU better than my original ideas" so please bear with me!! at any rate omg aw thank you for loving these idees maybe I should just masterpost and mark spoilers for whatever comes to mind here also this is gonna be a long answer post pardon me

so spoilers for Depression Quest and Courtship I guess?

also trigger warning: depression, thoughts of self harm, mentions of mental breakdown

So this is me not reading cotl shit in like, literally months in order to try to preserve my headcanonideas like a loser but damn whoaaa I'm happy that you really like this AU

The initial idea actually did have just plain old Lamb being all okay bb i'll be here waiting for you when you ready I won't push you, I'll let you run away and live your life bb just want you to be happy uwu like they did want Narinder to love them back but they were fine with just making him happy and brought back the Bishops and stuff so they could reconcile but as said before, things didn't seem the same for them

Then as Courtship took form I kind of moved those kinds of feelings Lamb had to the new AU and really honestly removed them from the equation because I wanted to focus on Narinder and Getting Over It™ and just living his own fucking life instead

What did remain was Narinder's complete and absolute breakdown when he locks himself into the house they built for him and his eventual escape. Like goddamn, I was like this man needs to break

The amount of broken furniture, crying and screaming onto the floor and bed, throwing items at whoever manages to get into the house, laying down and staring at the ceiling in a catatonic state, etc

I liked the idea of him meeting other people and them remarking on his fallen status or having to hide his identity when interacting or going to public places and it's pretty much how I came up with the Ratoo encounter/friendship

Imagine Kudaai laughing when he requests a scythe and giving him the smallest, lightest one for his weak upper extremities

addendum: like after escaping he does get better like he runs into kudaai and gets scythe at least but he still sucks since his hands/arms more likely to spaz more when he exerts himself too much (aka combat)

Imagine Narinder trying to stay inconspicuous when he goes to Plimbo's stall at the Lighthouse, etc

Once the idea of resurrecting the Bishops came up around the time I started writing Courtship I kind of went, tbh Lamb would only do that to get Narinder back and then that idea of the Lamb just stuck

The Lamb knew where he was the entire time. The Lamb let him think he was finally free from them. The Lamb decided to uproot his life when he thought he finally found peace (by reintroducing his siblings) and from there the Lamb became the kind of famous hero/whatever who would 100% use Narinder as a trophy SO and show them off while he feels awful and drinks every night to cope

i'd really love to know more abt baal and ayms place in the cult too, are they like mini trophies ? or are they just "eh another follower"

So initial idea was that Baal and Aym weren't crazy about it but came around after Lamb invited Forneus for a visit, then they would be like yes Master should see how good Lamb is

Now thinking it over, it could have a good twist to it:

Baal and Aym think that Narinder should come around because Lamb is a good person and his life would improve

In this, his guardians become his jailers. They've become the ones most actively working for his "rehabilitation", and Narinder hates it because he knows it's another way for the Lamb to break him. He's thinking that it's their mortality that made them cave so easily.

Once Narinder makes it out, they want to make their presence known once they find him, but Lamb explicitly commands them not to until they say it's time. So they go and check on him and obvs this is stwess for Narinder since he feels like he's being watched

Still though, Depression Quest is more Narinder-based than Narinder/Lamb relationship-based because it's him trying to live in a new Lamb-ruled world while trying not to show off his shitty power level or something, Lamb didn't really pull up much once he gets out except for really sending Baal and Aym to keep tabs on him and maybe probably when the Bishops are resurrected but even then it's just like... there's still this kind of sad underlying everything.

So fun fact: a few of Courtship's ideas originated in Depression Quest! Such as the shared love for gardening/camellias by Leshy and Narinder, and the relationship/dynamic between Kallamar and Narinder. I don't know why but their relationship felt fucking devastating once I came up with it hence why I think Chapter 9/Kallamar's quest in Courtship has been my favorite to read and write so far.

Courtship and Depression Quest do share quite a few things, so I'm worried I might echo too much of the same shit should I actually come to write it. While writing out this answer I posted an unedited bit on a prototype for Leshy quest and you may see some parallels to the one for Courtship :o

the idea of a ratoo & narinder friendship from this has consumed my brain greatly, i love that idea i actually had a brain wave pic pop up in my brain, so i'll draw fanart of this AU later bc i adore it

pls show me when you done I want it I'm so glad you like it and yes Ratoo and Narinder friendship is one and only

I think there was more but it's like 2am and I have to wake up in like 3 hours and I think I should just do a fucking masterpost on these AUs

[skautism]

The Production of Newsies I saw awhile ago

-MY COUSIN WAS RACE

-MY UNCLE WAS MR. JACOBI AND WEASEL

-Anyway,

-Prologue was amazing

-Crutchie looked like 92sies Crutchie

-The lil "yeah, ok" he mouths when Jack says "I bet that you could see it too" was adorable

-Also they were def in love I dont make the rules

-At the start of Carrying the Banmer, everyone was in view, sleeping on parts of the set

-My cousin is an amazing Race

-He sounded genuinely offended when his cigar got stolen

-Finch

-Just,,,

-Finch

-tHE CHOREOGRAPHY

-How did these HIGH SCHOOLERS be so ON POINT

-Davey was blonde and had round silver glasses

-Crutchie sounded SO OFFENDED when Davey asked "Why would we wanna be partners with you" (Or whatever the dialogue is I have a bad memory)

-The "I'm crushed" after Jack tries to flirt with Katherine, and Romeo makes fun of him sounded deadass SARCASTIC

-"Whatever happened to ROMANCE?" sounded actually annoyed, not mock, my cousin is amazing

-At the end, everyone was running offstage, and Mush was giving Crutchie a piggyback ride I love this ship (I'm a scary multishipper)

-The Bottom Line was great, Hannah you're doing great sweetie

-MEDDA HAD THE VIBRATO OF A QUEEN AND WAS LATINX

-The Bowery Beauties were AMAZ

-I Never Planned On You was amazing, Kath was annoyed fkskkdkd

-Did I mention I loved the Bowery Beauties?

-I never mentioned that Les was played by my friend's little brother!!

-In The World Will Know, everyone was so excited fkskdkfksldls

-Watch What Happens was so good fjdkfjfjff

-Seize The Day

-Made

-Me

-Cry

-Crutchie was dragged away by both his legs

-SANTA FE

-HOLY SHIT

-SO HEARTBREAKING

-MOVE OVER, JEREMY JORDAN

-King of New York didn't have the spoon fight, sadly, but the dance break was amazing

-Letter From The Refuge was amazing I cried again

-The smile Crutchie had was forced I was crying

-He started crying right towards the end

-Watch What Happens (Reprise) cut out "asses" and replaced it with "butts" but they were fine with "damn" in the previous songs

-"Tell me how quitting does Crutchie any good?" "Dz-" "eXACTLY

-pOOR GUY'S HEAD IS SPINNIN'

-Not gonna lie, Jack and Davey were pretty gay during this song

-Les' "And I've got a date!" was great, and Davey facepalmed at it

-Jack was dragged to the cellar, oof

-Man, the Delanceys were asshats

-BROOKLYN'S HERE

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-Jack didn't slam the tarp to the beat like in livsies, but eh

-SPOT WAS BLACK

-I NEARLY SCREAMED HE WAS AMAZING

-When Jack came over for the rally, everyone was so happy

-Until

-Ya know

-Spot, Race, and Albert all started running to Jack to get him

-The Something to Believe in kiss was real, no stage kissing

-Once and For All holy crap

-Race's "HERE THEY COME" was amazing, did I mention I love my cousin? My cousin who was Race in this production??

-Did I mention I love Finch?

-Also I LOVED Mush and Tommy Boy, good bois

-When Roosevelt came to Pulitzer's office, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

-Did I mention that Spot in this production was amazing?

-Jack's reaction to shaking Roosevelt's hand djfjfkdkkddk

-The lil thing where the Newsies hum Seize The Day was great, as always

-WHEN CRUTCHIE CAME BACK I NEARLY BURST INTO TEARS AGAIN

-He was so happy to see everyone again!!!!!!!! Everyone was happy to see him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-"Tarantulas?"

-When Jack and Kath kissed, Crutchie and Davey both looked really jealous

-Like, really jealous

-Borderline Salty

-Everything about this show was perfect, and did I mention I love how my cousin portrayed Race?

-Did I mention I love Finch??

-I never mentioned that I love Albert in the production

-Did you know I LOVED the Davey in this production, I refuse to draw him any other way now

-The curtain call was AMAZING