#effeminate and flamboyant just for my sexuality when truly I'm heavily uncomfortable doing anything deemed as girly | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dragoninahumancostume · 1 month ago

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My favorite part of being alive is that I've never felt welcome in any space except for that one year when I thought I was a non-binary bisexual asexual girl when I was 13 :)

#Before that I was a weird kid whose only source for human communication instructions was the shows on CN Nickelodeon and Disney XD/Channel #And even though I had friends I never felt loved enough #And AFTER that I realized I was more of a trans guy and that I don't trust women enough to know if I could be in love with one but that #maybe I like men but I can't know for sure because I have the bad habit of falling for any guy who pays attention to me for long enough #And I haven't felt included in queer spaces ever since I realized I wasn't any sort of girl because people in here seem to hate men a little #too much for me to feel safe being anything but a gnc emo girl #And not even getting started on being gay cause people on online spaces that I'm around often act like “girls and the gays!!” as if I'm #effeminate and flamboyant just for my sexuality when truly I'm heavily uncomfortable doing anything deemed as girly #vent post #And even the thought that I MIGHT be a straight trans guy makes me feel horrible cause so many queer people seem to hate straight people #Like hi did you forget that this place is supposed to make people feel safe and respected and proud of being themselves #Oooh and don't forget the autism! Cause I get why people complain about the diagnosis being only for cis white boys but like #I've literally never seen that. Ever. I'm not saying it doesn't happen I'm just saying that it's much harder for me to find any sort of #online diagnosis tool for someone who's not an adult or a parent or a cis woman than it is for me to find any for a girl #Like seriously man #And how I feel like I'm a horrible person for not having g empathy. DUDE I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO KNOW ABOUT #like chill I'm not automatically a murderer and rapist and toxic and manipulative just cause I can't put myself in someone else's shoes #I'm just a guy who hardly feels alive or human. Of course I'm not going to reel very much about a stranger when i feel like I'm not supposed #to be this person in this place in this body in this mind. I don't feel like I'm here I don't feel like this is me and I don't feel like I #can care about other people and I don't know why but I'd really appreciate it if I could get yk some support instead of feeling like I #deserve death #anyway i'm normal

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