#edit: why is this getting so many notes gods we're down very bad for the bird man

[platypusundercover]

HE'S FINALLY FREE FROM SKETCH JAIL OMFG ICARUS

[angstyx]

hi! can you please write something with Wilbur where his partner is writing a high fantasy novel, like they keep writing things down on napkins, and the walls are covered in post it notes with like, plot stuff? thank you so much!!

Wilbur w/ a Writer!S/O

TW: cursing

Requested?: [Yes] [No]

Note: I honestly really like how this turned out! :)

Masterlist // Rules for Requesting

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

wilbur would be so excited for you and your novel

although you haven't finished your novel yet, he still asks for you to read it out for him since he knows it'll be good

also because he's too impatient to wait for the book to be published

"But y/nnnnn"

"I've told you Wilbur! You have to wait for me to finish writing it first!"

"But then you have to get it edited and then you have to get feedback and then-"

"Okay fine, how about I'll read a small paragraph to you tonight?"

"Wait really?!? oh my god, oh my god, you're the best!"

he'll think its cute that you write down ideas for your novel on napkins, post-it notes, on yourself, etc

you guys' shared bedroom is covered in your post-it notes

walk inside and you can already spot a few of them

on the desk? yup there's a few

on the walls? many

computer screen? plenty

in the bathroom? don't ask why but yes there's some on the mirror

he once accidentally threw out a few of your post-it notes that has your notes on it and he felt so bad even though you said that it was fine

"Y/n im so sorry, i didn't mean to i just wasn't paying attent-"

"Wilbur.. we're literally watching a movie right now and like i said many times already, its fine."

"Are you sure? i could maybe go dig it back up, i don't think i took out the trash ye-"

You'll have to kiss him to shut him up

that'll do the trick :)

Or you could let him ramble on and just wait till he’s finished talking

But I dont reccomend that since Wil would ramble on forever

So the the first option is the way to do it then ;)

"First of all, that's disgusting, second of all, i already wrote down the stuff that was on the post-it note already on my computer"

"oh."

i feel like wilbur would be the type of person who would always have a pen and paper on him just for you

need a post-it note? wilbur has some

need a pen to write on said post-it note? boom! in your hands already

need a flat surface to write down the idea for your novel? your boyfriend would literally let you use his back

you'll be so nervous and stressed after sending your novel to a editor/publisher so wilbur would bring you to your favorite places so you could de-stress

It’ll be adorable honestly

He’ll try his very best to make you not think of your novel just so you could not worry about it

also he'll definitely would be that person who's like "Break their heart and i'll break your bones" to their sister's boyfriend except he's like that to your novel's editor

"This is part is good y/n but look at this, you already included how the main character is-"

"Say their writing sucks and I'll break your bones"

*editor raises an eyebrow at you*

"oh my god Wilbur…”

Yeah… you definitely regret bringing him with you to that meeting

You'll have to explain to him that its a editor's job for them to change some parts of the novel anyway so it becomes better

he'll understand but deep down he'll still throw hands if your editor says some mean shit to you or your novel

Good luck trying to stop him in the future

he'll want to be the first person to buy your book so he could brag about how he got the first copy

if you decide to give him the original copy of your novel that you received he'll literally freak out about it

:0 <- his face when he receives it

He’ll even show his stream and if you approve, he’ll read maybe a paragraph or even a chapter to his viewers

“Chat look! I got y/n’s new novel! Doesn’t it look cool?”

Once he accidentally read too much of it on stream since he got distracted by how good it was

There’s a clip of you two when he was reading the book on stream and you barging in to quickly stop him from spoiling the book too much

“And then the-“

*you barging in the room*

“WILBUR I THINK YOU READ TOO MUCH”

“oh no”

Sneak peek to the viewers i guess

when your novel finally gets approved and gets published, wilbur would literally throw a whole ass party to celebrate

he'll invite some of your close friends as well as the sbi fam

he'll even let everyone know about your novel even though you tried to stop him

*que him getting on top of a table*

"DON'T FORGET TO CONGRATULATE Y/N ON HER NEWLY PUBLISHED NOVEL GUYS!!"

"wilbur stop fucking embarrassing me..."

overall, your boyfriend would be very, very supportive of you

Just… be sure to keep an eye on him so he doesn’t read the whole ass book to his stream by accident

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

Taglist: @thenotsohottopic @0-0littlem0-0 @alec-lost-bee @bi-narystars @sakurapartridge @ryxjxnnx @boiciph3r @maxiewritesfanfic @cheesysin @missusstark @multifandomgirl-us @sophia902103 @sunnyxlove @marrymetheonott

Send me an ask or dm to be added to my taglist! :)

[jasontoddswhitestreak]

you’re alive in my head

summary: in which natasha no longer had to live in a world without you, there you were in her arms once again. but why can’t she remember your life before westview?

content warning: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, set after endgame, angst, mentions of death, trauma, their relationship ending on a bad note, trust issues & previous steve x nat, there is some hints to homophobia in this chapter :/ (WANDAVISION SPOILERS!)

note: sorry this chapter was late!! it’s 3.3k words and i got my friend to spell check and edit it, ty ashy ily <33

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (lmk if you want anymore content like this!)

‘моя любовь’ = ‘my love’ in russian <3

‘принцесса’ = ‘princess’ (i used google translate so idk how accurate it is

SERIES MASTERLIST

PART THREE COMING SOON

Death.

It's a complicated thing; A theory.

Nobody knows what happens to you after you die. Nobody knows what happens to your soul after you die. We make things up to make ourselves feel better, and convince ourselves that our deceased loved ones are watching over us, all the while convincing others that our loved ones are in a better place now.

But in reality, those are just dreams dying to be true.

Natasha didn't know if you were dead or alive. She just knew your body turned into particles of dust, your soul disappeared along with the rest of you. She didn't want to believe that you were truly gone, so she spoke to you.

She spoke to you, thinking you were listening to her; believing you were listening to her and that you were still around.

It was almost as if she was speaking to your ghost, the mere presence of you that remained with her, the piece of you that was a part of her. It felt wrong being in the compound without you, she felt as though she was trapped; trapped with the many reminders of how she failed you. The walls were suffocating her. Every time she thought about what had happened it felt as though the rooms were becoming smaller. The large 'A' plastered around the compound taunting her, reminding her of what they lost. Of what she lost.

So she had to get away.

Natasha found herself taking trips to the beach, the one the two of you adored oh so much. She'd walk along the sand, the harsh wind blowing against her face. The air smelled of salt, and she'd take a deep breath in with a smile. She'd reminisce all the times the two of you managed to get away from the compound, how effortlessly gorgeous you'd look with the breeze blowing through your hair, your laughter sounding like a melody that Natasha now longed to hear once more.

If she stood really still, she could, once more, feel the warmth of your fingers dragging against her skin, gently tracing shapes onto her body. Her heart would ache whenever she'd turn to the side, finding that nobody was beside her.

She had to get used to living in a world without you.

"моя любовь..." She sighed, fumbling with a stone she'd picked up, before swinging her arm and throwing it into the rippling water. The temperature was dropping. Christmas coming closer and closer every day. Natasha wrapped her coat tighter around her body, staring at the waves in front of her, observing the way they'd hit the shore before pulling back into the ocean. In the distance, she could see boats, and although they were far away, she noticed how the water carried them; the movement of the ocean pushing the boat into the direction of the wind. "No sailors.." Natasha realized, her eyes following a lifeguard boat making its way to the empty boats, likely checking for any survivors.

Yet another reminder of how the Avengers had failed.

It's only been a couple of months since the battle yet the traces of you continued to fade away. The sweater that was once yours now clung to Natasha's body as she made her way back home.

She'd do anything to bring you back. She'd do anything to have you in her arms again, complaining about something you'd undoubtedly forget hours later. She missed the way you'd never share your snacks with anyone but her. The feeling of warmth that would blossom inside her when your eyes met in a crowded room. All the times when your knee would brush against hers during a meeting. She missed the way it felt to lay next to you. She missed forgetting the world with you.

God, she missed you so much.

But there she was. In the same room as you, years later, preparing breakfast. Her hair was coiled and pinned up, keeping it in place. Her dress fit her perfectly, the skirt swaying with her movements as she elegantly makes her way across the kitchen floor. Her every movement seemed like a performance; like she was the performer and you were the audience, watching her in awe. She was captivating in every possible way, her enchanting voice pulling you in like a siren.

"Good morning, honey! I've been up all morning making us a delightful breakfast." Natasha greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, her performance almost seeming comical. "Nat... it's just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." You pointed out, glancing over your shared kitchen, seeing the mess that was made. Somehow milk spilled all over the counters, dripping onto the ground, you immediately recognized the smell of burnt toast that hung in the air as you continued looking around.

"Peanut butter and jelly is your favourite, remember?" Natasha reminded you. Your eyes widened at the realization, thanking her. You helped her bring the food to the table, making a note to yourself to tidy up the kitchen before the dinner at Wanda and Vision's that the two of you were invited for.

But you couldn't recall Wanda telling you about the dinner?

"Are you okay, моя любовь?" She placed her hand above yours on the counter. The two of you sat in front of each other, your half-eaten breakfast resting between the two of you. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? I'm with my best girl." You smiled softly at her, and though your words said one thing, Natasha could easily recognise the distant look on your face as you stared off into space, lost in your own thoughts. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours принцесса?" She teased, squeezing your hand gently.

"What time are we supposed to be at Wanda's?" You asked her, snapping yourself out of the trance you were in. Natasha hesitated, eyebrows furrowed as she watched your every move. Something was bothering you. "We're going to Wanda's in the evening моя любовь, she asked us a while back if we could help out before the others arrived, remember?" Natasha stated as the two of you brought your plates to the sink, beginning to tidy up.

"I'm not sure how much help you'll be sweetheart." You teased, pointing at the mess that was created due to Natasha making breakfast. She feigned hurt in response, "Oh принцесса, you're breaking my heart!" She made her way around you, passing you the cutlery as you rinsed the plates. You chuckled softly at her playful behaviour. "I think we should stick with me making us breakfast so our kitchen doesn't end up getting flooded, wouldn't you agree?" You chuckled, as you made your way around the kitchen, the two of you tidying up the mess Natasha had created.

"If only we were a robot," Natasha sighed, wrapping her arms around you from behind. You leaned back into her, embracing the warmth which radiated from her body, "or had powers." This was a position you were so very used to. "If only," she responded playfully. You turn your head back at the grinning redhead, as she leaned in for a kiss, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt your lips meet.

"You know," Natasha started, "we do have some time to spare-" you then cut her off.

"I like the way you think, sweetheart," You smiled softly, turning in her arms before making your way to your shared bedroom. Natasha followed closely behind.

The two of you were dolled up, looking your best.

Your dress ended just below your knees, the skirt extenuating your hips; it swayed with every movement you made. The short sleeves of the dress looked as though they were about to fall off your shoulders. Natasha's dress, however, was much more slim fitting and hugged her hips perfectly before flowing down, much like a waterfall, making it harder to look at anything else but her.

"Do you think Wanda will get mad at us for arriving a bit later than expected?" You asked nervously, fumbling with your fingers as the two of you made your way down the path that led to Wanda and Vision's home. Natasha shuffled around balancing the tray of pastries you'd prepared in one hand while using her free hand to rub your back gently, comforting you, "I'm sure she won't mind, моя любовь," she reassured you. As you near the house you could hear mumbling from the inside; you heard three or more different voices.

"Is that- is Vision singing?" You asked worriedly, glancing at Natasha who was mirroring your reaction. She knocked on the door, and the singing inside had abruptly stopped. "Oh, that must be our other guests," You heard Vision exclaim, "perfect timing!" You could hear his footsteps gradually get closer. The door swung open and Vision gave a nervous smile, glancing down at the tray of food Natasha was holding before letting out a sigh of relief. He hugged the both of you before welcoming you into his home. He introduced you to Mr. Hart, Visions boss, and Mrs. Hart, his wife.

"Oh hello," Mrs. Hart greeted, "no need to be so formal tonight honey." she smiled at you, pushing away the hand you had extended for her to shake. Instead, she pulled you into a tight hug which quite honestly surprised you. You awkwardly pat the older yet noteably shorter woman on the back before pulling away to quickly greet her husband. He glanced at you and Natasha in confusion, opening his mouth to say something before getting interrupted. "Oh here, let me take that, Natasha. You stay here and I'll go get a plate to put these on." You glanced at everyone in the room, offering them a smile before making your way to the kitchen, Vision stopped you before you got to the door, extending his arm out.

"Thank you," he leaned down to whisper to you. You squeezed his arm in response. You weren't used to seeing Vision in this form. He looked human. You rushed into the kitchen, startling Wanda, "I've figured you needed help." You smiled sheepishly at her, placing the tray down onto the counter, taking in all the chaos that was going on in the kitchen. It reminded you of this morning.

"Well, this isn't the first chaotic kitchen I've walked into today," you teased, reaching out for a plate before neatly plating the pastries onto it. Wanda laughed nervously in response, as she flicked through the recipe cards, searching for the right one. You walked back into the living room, placing the plate onto the coffee table prompting Vision to jump up out of his seat and offer Mr. and Mrs. Hart an appetizer. Looking to Natasha, you gave her a wink before swiftly turning around, your dress swaying with your movements as you made your way back into the kitchen, missing the frown forming on Mr. Hart's face.

"Oh, what was I supposed to do next?" Wanda began rambling, "what was the main course again?"

Making your way to the recipe cards floating in the air you attempted to help her find the card with the right recipe, steak. You could hear Vision playing a song on the ukulele while Natasha unwillingly sang alongside him.

"That's not it" You sighed, sifting through the cards, "is this one steak?"

"Steak," Wanda started, "Diane!" she accidentally yells. Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd done. She looks to you with a frown. You just barely heard Vision respond with a, "yes dear?"

"This is going terribly," Wanda frowned, leaning her head upon your shoulder. You chuckled, rubbing her back gently before pulling her away, forcing her to look at you, "Hey, you can do this, okay? You're not alone," you reassured her, attempting to raise her spirits. She sighed in relief, repeating to herself ", "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..."

Vision barged into the kitchen unexpectedly, his nerves radiating through room. Wanda panics, accidentally using her powers to throw the lobsters out of the window.

"How can I be of assistance." Vision asks, mirroring Wanda's expression.

"Well," Wanda started, "the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop, so the steak is the last man standing," she explains, making her way around the kitchen. You held the recipe card in your hand, skimming the instructions, "it says here you could cut down the prep time with a meat tenderiser." You recited, looking at the couple once more. "Excellent plan! Where's the tenderiser?" Vision questions, ready to help in the kitchen.

"I'm looking at him," Wanda began, holding her hand out to pass the tenderiser to Vision. You pull her hand back before Vision reaches out for it. "No. What you need to do, Vision, is go entertain your guests. Have faith in your wife and I, okay?" You pushed him out of the kitchen, before turning around and clapping your hands.

"So, where were we?" You asked, hopefully.

After a stressful couple of minutes, a brief visit from a woman with a pineapple, and Natasha almost spilling water on her dress; dinner was served.

Well technically, breakfast was served.

The six of you sat around the dining table, nervously looking around. Mr. and Mrs. Hart looked at the food in confusion, staring at the cooked bacon and eggs paired with the red wine and chocolate covered strawberries.

"Breakfast for dinner?" Mr, Hart began, with obvious judgement written all over his face. "How very-" "European." Mrs. Hart cut him off, smiling reassuringly at the two of you.

"European?" You muttered, glancing at Wanda in confusion, who then motioned her hand in a 'I'll tell you later' sort of way. "Oh, let's have a toast!" Vision began, raising his glass up. All of you followed suite as Vision continued.

"To my lovely and talented wife," he gloated, unable to take his eyes off her.

"And to our esteemed guests," Wanda added. You didn't miss the wink she threw at you and Natasha, causing the two of you to stifle your laughs. Everyone clinked their glasses together and dug into their food. It wasn't long after when the questioning began.

"So, where did you move from?" Mrs. Hart began, "what brought you here? How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet?" She interrogated Wanda and Vision, and you glanced over at Natasha, hesitantly, who shrugged in response before continuing to eat her food. Her eyes then met Mr. Hart's, who's eyebrows were furrowed at the interaction, waiting for his wife to finish speaking so he could say something. You didn't notice Wanda struggling to answer the questions being thrown, while Vision looked at Wanda desperately waiting for an answer. It was almost as if the two of them didn't know themselves.

You also failed to notice Wanda zoning out of the conversation, staring off into the distance as Mrs. Hart continued pestering her for answers. "And what about the two of you, huh? You two roommates?" Mr. Hart questioned, noticing how closely seated you were next to Natasha.

"Something like that," Natasha responded, biting back the smirk that was fighting it's way onto her lips.

"Two lovely women such as yourselves shouldn't struggle to find a man. Why don't the two of you have husbands yet?" Mr. Hart asked, leaning forward. You felt the hair in your arms rise as you realised where the conversation was leading. Glancing at Natasha nervously, you noticed how her fingers were clenched around her cutlery.

"We just prefer each other's company," you stated simply, shoving a forkful of eggs into your mouth to distract yourself.

"What do you mean? Are you- that's unnatural!" He ranted. You ignored him, noticing that Wanda was still trying to answer questions about her and Visions marriage.

"Yes, yes, we were married in," Wanda paused, getting lost in her thoughts. Mr. Hart continued his rant to you and Natasha as You, Vision and Natasha glanced at Wanda nervously.

"You're both women! That's wrong!" Mr Hart argues.

"Well, what's your story?" Mrs. Hart questions Wanda.

Mr. Hart began shouting, slamming his fist onto the table as Mrs. Hart continued to grill Wanda for answers. Wanda snaps back into reality due to a sudden, unexpected noise. She turned to face Mr. Hart who began to choking. You stared at Natasha, frightened and unsure as of what to do in this situation.

"Oh, Arthur, stop it!" Mrs. Hart laughed. She repeated the words 'stop it' over and over again, her tone gradually becoming more panicked as her husband continued to choke. His hand rested on his throat. Vision stared at Mr. Hart in an unsure manner, his hands resting against the table almost as if the were pinned against it. You only just noticed how Mrs. Hart turned to Wanda as she continued repeating those same words.

"Stop it," she pleaded, her voice shaking as she looked at Wanda, who was staring at Mr. Hart in shock. Mr. Hart fell off his chair and onto the ground as he continued to choke. You wanted to rush over and help him but it felt as though your hands were bound to the table and you couldn't move your legs. You were only able to watch as the man continued to choke while his wife chuckled.

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

"Stop it."

"Vision, help him," Wanda demanded. Vision rushed out of his seat and next to Mr. Hart, phasing his hand through his throat and removing a whole chocolate covered strawberry.

When did Mr. Hart pick up the strawberry? You thought to yourself.

"Let me help you up," Vision offers, helping Mr. Hart back to his feet. The atmosphere in the room had immediately changed, going back to exactly how it was before. It was almost as if a switch had been flipped and everyone forgot what was happening.

"Would you look at the time!" Mr. Hart exclaimed making his way to the door as his wife followed behind him.

"Well," Wanda started, "are you both alright?" she questioned nervously, as she stood up. "Yes, we better be going. We had such a lovely time!" Mrs. Hart reassured. The couple left the house very abruptly, mentioning something about a promotion before exiting the front door.

"Oh, we must be going as well!" Natasha exclaims, pushing herself up out of her seat before saying goodbye to the two. She hugged them both before making her way out of the door. You hugged Vision and thanked him for having you over before making your way to Wanda.

"Tonight was wonderful, Wanda," you reassured, pulling her into a hug. You felt her shoulders slacken in your arms, sighing softly as she returned your embrace before pulling away from you, her arms resting on your shoulders.

"Thank you, thank you for everything."

As the two of you made your way home, you couldn't help but let Mr. Hart's words play on repeat in your mind. You could tell Natasha knew what was bugging you as she squeezed your hand gently. The two of you continued to hold hands as you made your way home.

"I know we can't get married," you started, as you stood in your living room, staring at the woman who made you feel most at home. She nodded, waiting for you to continue as she rested her hand against your cheek, allowing her thumb to gently stroke your face.

"But I just want you to know that I'm here for you. For better or for worse. I never want to be apart from you," you chuckled softly, staring at her in awe, allowing your eyes to glance at her lips before you looked back into her eyes.

"I know, моя любовь. And I'd do anything for you," Natasha began.

"Even die for you."

natasha romanoff taglist: @blackxwidowsxwife @severepeanutartisanhands @madamevirgo @starsvck @umsolikeblog @baddecisions-png @yourmcu

all works: @teenwonder @amourtentiaa @husherstan @peggycarter-steverogers

[knockknockchicagopd]

❛ A PSYCHO? ❜

❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: Headcanon 8 with Will please.

❚❙ Headcanon: Secret admirer.

❚❙ WILL HALSTEAD MASTERLIST.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13 @mcgreads @graniairish @teller258316. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

At first, when you receive a bouquet, you don't give it as much importance as Maggie and April do, thinking that maybe they're from a grateful patient.

Until you realize that it's a coincidence that, whoever sent them, chose sunflowers. Not many people know they're your favorites and that's when curiosity invades you.

You can't help but fixate on every man in the hospital. Mainly in your friends, the ones who maybe have heard you talking about small details like the fact that you love sunflowers.

In your free time, you write a list of names.

You need to know it. Not everybody makes a gift like this in these kinds of times. 

But after a couple of days without any sign else, you start to find random sticky notes in your office, your locker, even on the windshield of your car.

And they all know what to say to make you feel better.

If it has been a bad day, you find one saying ‘everything is gonna be okay’ or ‘I've missed your smile today’.

If it has been a good day, the ones you find are the type of ‘you did an amazing job today’, ‘you're the best nurse I know’, ‘people should learn from you’.

You talk about it with your friends every day.

Even Sharon asks you if you have found another one at the end of your shift.

Everybody looks excited about your secret admirer. 

But you aren't able to discover who he is.

And you really want to know it. Not only because of curiosity but because you want to thank him for brightening up your days. Mostly, the darkest ones.

He has earned all your attention. You can't stop commenting about it being the main topic of talks in Molly's.

You don't care about Connor saying that he must be a coward for not revealing his identity; or about Ethan saying that he must be too ugly.

You don't care about his appearance, that's for real. A man who worries about you, about not seeing you smile; a man who praises your hard work deserves your interest.

Natalie and Sarah have helped you try to discover him, after a month.

And no one of you will admit that maybe you tried to bribe the security guys to watch the hospital footage. Not even that you made Atwater try to investigate the flower shop.

But when a young patient brings you a Snickers to the library with a sticky note on it saying ‘you're close, I just hope you don't hate me when you discover who I am’, your list of names comes down to three. And two don't have sense.

Being aware that he is watching you right now, reading it, you pretend to continue studying for your next exam.

Until he leaves the library.

Secret Admirer reunion. 

You can't believe who has been doing it all this time. Your friends either.

Sharon, Maggie, April, Natalie, and Sarah are on the edge of their nerves waiting for you to say the name out loud.

Will.

“Will? Halstead?” They all ask in unison. “How do you know it?”

“He's the one who never says anything about my secret admirer. And he was trying to not look like he was very focused on seeing my reaction with the last note”.

“Didn't know Halstead could be this romantic… He's more like an asshole with girls”. April is more surprised than anyone there.

“So, which is the next step?”

The crazy ideas go from implicating his brother to a home invasion to prepare him a date. But everything sounds too illegal.

At this point, Daniel joins your prank.

Oh, God bless Doctor Charles.

He knows exactly how to make Will confess.

At Molly's.

Surrounded by all your colleagues from the hospital.

“I'm tired of that guy. Seriously, if he likes me, why just don't… say it? I mean, what's the point of staying in the shadow?”

“Do you know secret admirers are considered psychopaths?”

The laughs fill up the bar.

“Explain that, Doctor Charles”. You are choking on your beer, not expecting it.

“The difference between a secret admirer and a stalker is the fact that a stalker feels an obsession for his target. But they share more similarities than people actually know. Without keeping in mind that a rejected secret admirer can turn into a stalker or, even, into a killer”.

“A killer?”

“Exactly. By rejecting him, you hurt his ego, his manhood. The feeling of not being good enough, of being insufficient for his beloved, can develop killer instincts”.

“If I can't have you, nobody will”. Wise words from Sharon.

“Should I talk to… Dawson or Voight?” You whisper pretending to be scared and confused, seeing Daniel nodding with his lips pressed against the edge of his glass of whisky. “Okay… I'm gonna text Antonio before this gets ou—”.

“I'm not a serial killer!”

FINALLY.

Everybody at the table looks at Will and the gesture of confusion is installed on his face.

Then, he realizes what is going on.

It was a trap.

And it worked to perfection.

“C'mon! Why didn't you simply ask me?”

“'Cause it wouldn't have been fun, Halstead!”

“You all are a bunch of traitors”. Will points at all your friends, who break in laughs. “And you… Doctor Charles… You should know I'm pretty far from being a psycho”.

“I do”.

“Okay, we're leaving you alone”. April giggles palming Will's back, before turning towards you. “Just in case, keep your phone close”.

You have never seen him blushing till his cheeks have the same color as his hair. And he looks really cute.

You can't stop smiling.

And he can't look you in your face.

“So… are you gonna ask me for a date or…?”

“You want?”

“Of course I want, idiot. Been waiting for it for a long month. So don't you dare to tell me you don't wanna go on a date”.

[notbecauseofvictories]

Hi Sarah! My friend and I are starting a bookclub (as much as you can with two people who aren't pressed for deadlines) and I was wondering if you have any recommendations? (That is if you have time to rec anything!) We're starting off with Deathless and have Fitzgerald next in line somewhere but I def want to try to expand the genres we read and tbh from years of following you, I trust your judgement

I don’t...like giving recommendations? At least not directly, it seems like too much opportunity for getting it wrong. Everybody has their own tastes, after all, and even the best of friends don’t necessarily vibe with what you vibe with. (I’ve experienced this with multiple friends, so I know what I’m talking about.) Truly, one of the reasons that my whole “I’m going to get back into reading for pleasure!” push has been so successful is that I only bother with books that interest me, and stop reading when they fail to catch my attention.

But I’ve now read at least 60 books in 2020, which is approximately 60 more than I’ve read in the years prior, so I’m happy to share that. Below is my list of recent reads, beginning to end, along with a very short review---I keep this list in the notes app on my phone, so they have to be. Where I’ve talked about a book in a post, I’ve tried to link to it. 

Peruse, and if something catches your interest I hope you enjoy!

2020 Reading List

Crazy Rich Asians series, Kevin Kwan (here)

Blackwater, Michael McDowell (here; pulpy horror and southern gothic in one novel; come for the monster but stay for the family drama.)

Fire and Hemlock, Diane Wynne Jones (here; weird and thoughtful, in ways I’m still thinking about)

The Secret History, Donna Tartt

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn (here; loved it! I can see why people glommed onto it)

Swamplandia!, Karen Russell (unfinished, I could not get past the first paragraph; just....no.)

Rules of Scoundrels series, Sarah MacLean (an enjoyable romp through classic romancelandia, though if you read through 4 back to back you realize that MacLean really only writes 1 type of relationship and 1 type of sexual encounter, though I do appreciate insisting that the hero go down first.)

The Bear and the Nightingale, Katherine Arden (here)

Dread Nation, Justine Ireland (great, put it with Stealing Thunder in terms of fun YA fantasy that makes everything less white and Eurocentric)

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson (VERY good. haunting good.)

Tell My Horse, Zora Neale Hurston (I read an interesting critique of Hurston that said she stripped a lot of the radicalism out of black stories - these might be an example, or counterexample. I haven't decided yet.)

The Rose MacGregor Drinking and Admiration Society, T. Kingfisher (fun!)

St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves, Karen Russell (some of these short stories are wonderful; however, Swamplandia's inspiration is still unreadable, which is wild.)

17776, Jon Bois (made me cry. deeply human. A triumph of internet storytelling)

The Girl with All the Gifts, M. R. Carey (deeply enjoyable. the ending is a bittersweet kick in the teeth, and I really enjoyed the adults' relationships)

The Door in the Hedge and Other Stories, Robin McKinley (enjoyable, but never really resolved into anything.)

The Hero and the Crown, Robin McKinley (fun, but feels very early fantasy - or maybe I've just read too many of the subsequent knock-offs.)

Mrs. Caliban, Rachel Ingalls (weird little pulp novel.)

All Systems Red, Martha Wells (enjoyable, but I don't get the hype. won't be looking into the series unless opportunity arises.)

A People's History of Chicago, Kevin Coval (made me cry. bought a copy. am still thinking about it.)

The Sol Majestic, Ferrett Steinmetz (charming, a sf novel mostly about fine dining)

House in the Cerulean Sea, TJ Klune (immensely enjoyable read, for all it feels like fic with the serial numbers filed off)

The Au Pair, Emma Rous (not bad, but felt like it wanted to be more than it is)

The Night Tiger, Yangsze Choo (preferred this to Ghost Bride; I enjoy a well-crafted mystery novel and this delivered)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula Le Guin (unfinished, I cannot fucking get into Le Guin and should really stop trying)

The Ghost Bride, Yangsze Choo (enjoyable, but not nearly as fun as Ghost Bride - the romance felt very disjointed, and could have used another round of editing)

Temptation's Darling, Johanna Lindsey (pure, unadulterated id in a romance novel, complete with a girl dressing as a boy to avoid detection)

Social Creature, Tara Isabella Burton (a strange, dark psychological portrait; really made a mark even though I can't quite put my finger on why)

The Girl on the Train, Paula Hawkins (slow at first, but picks up halfway through and builds nicely; a whiff of Gone Girl with the staggered perspectives building together)

Stealing Thunder, Alina Boyden (fun Tortall vibes, but set in Mughal India)

The Traitor Baru Cormorant; The Monster Baru Commorant, The Tyrant Baru Cormorant, Seth Dickinson (LOVE this, so much misery, terrible, ecstatic; more here)

This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar, Max Gladstone (epistolary love poetry, vicious and lovely; more here)

The Elementals, Michael McDowell

Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir (didn't like this one as much as I thought I would; narrator's contemporary voice was so jarring against the stylized world and action sequences read like the novelization for a video game; more here)

Finna, Nino Cipri (a fun little romp through interdimensional Ikea, if on the lighter side)

Magic for Liars, Sarah Gailey (engrossing, even if I could see every plot twist coming from a mile away)

Desdemona and the Deep, C. S. E. Cooney (enjoyed the weirdness & the fae bits, but very light fare)

A Blink of the Screen, Terry Pratchett (admittedly just read this for the Discworld bits)

A Memory Called Empire, Arkady Martine (not as good about politics and colonialism as Baru, but still a powerful book about The Empire, and EXTREMELY cool worldbuilding that manages to be wholly alien and yet never heavily expositional)

Blackfish City, Sam J. Miller (see my post)

Last Werewolf, Glen Duncan (didn't finish, got to to first explicit sex scene and couldn't get any further)

Prosper's Demon, KJ Parker (didn't work for me...felt like a short story that wanted to be fleshed out into a novel)

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

His Majesty's Dragon, Naomi Novik (extremely fun, even for a reader who doesn't much like Napoleonic stories)

Three Parts Dead, Max Gladstone (fun romp - hard to believe that this is the same author as Time War though you can see glimmers of it in the imagery here)

A Scot in the Dark, Sarah MacLean (palette cleanser, she does write a good romance novel even it's basically the same romance novel over and over)

The Resurrectionist, E. B. Hudspeth (borrowed it on a whim one night, kept feeling like there was something I was supposed to /get/ about it, but never did - though I liked the Mutter Museum parallels)

Stories of Your Life and Others, Ted Chiang (he's a better ideas guy than a writer, though Hell Is The Absence of God made my skin prickle all over)

Gods of Jade and Shadow, Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fun, very much a throwback to my YA days of fairytale retellings, though obviously less European)

Four Roads Cross, Max Gladstone (it turns out I was a LOT more fond of Tara than I initially realized - plus this book had a good Pratchett-esque pacing and reliance on characterization)

Get in Trouble, Kelly Link (reading this after the Chiang was instructive - Link is such a better storyteller, better at prioritizing the human over the concept)

Gods Behaving Badly, Marie Phillips

Soulless; Changeless; Blameless, all by Gail Carriger (this series is basically a romance novel with some fantasy plot thrown in for fun; extremely charming and funny)

Black Leopard, Red Wolf, Marlon James (got about 1/3 of the way through and had to wave the white flag; will try again because I like the plot and the worldbuilding; the tone is just so hard to get through)

Pew, Catherine Lacey (a strange book, I'm still thinking about it; a good Southern book, though)

Nuremberg Diary, GM Gilbert (it took me two months to finish, and was worth it)

River of Teeth, Sarah Gailey (I wanted to like this one a lot more than I actually did; would have made a terrific movie but ultimately was not a great novel. Preferred Magic for Liars.)

Mexican Gothic, Silvia Moreno-Garcia (extremely fun, though more trippy than Gods and the plot didn't work as well for me - though it was very original)

The New Voices of Fantasy, Peter S. Beagle (collected anthology, with some favorites I've read before Ursula Vernon's "Jackalope Wives", "Hungry Daughters of Starving Mothers" "The Husband Stitch"; others that were great new finds "Selkie Stories are for Losers" from Sofia Satamar and "A Kiss With Teeth" from Max Gladstone and "The Philosophers" from Adam Ehrlich Sachs)

[damejanai]

Dameraji

2020.09.16

S:Probably, when this episode goes on air, it won't be the case anymore but

K: Uh huh

S: But recently, I've had quite many spiritual experiences recently

K: Oh i was scared right there

S: ?

K: I thought you were quitting or something

S: No no no no, why would i do something like that?

K: That scared me, thought you were going to say, 'when this goes on air, i won't be here anymore'

S: Hhahahaha that blew up

K: I was so shocked

S: That's funny, but you know, I often say I see feathers, right? I still see them now and then, but recently, I'm not kidding, crickets keep coming to me. When i'm watching TV at night... well I'm not watching TV but

K: What are you talking about?

S: You know like, my TV is like...that...

K: You are just watching the screen

S: Ah yesyes, that's scary! It's like I'm a psychopath or something!

K: So Soma san you were just watching screen when..

S: When I watch movies at night, there would be the tapping sound on my window, there would be nothing, and after a while i would hear it again.

K: Uh huh

S: And when i open the window, the crickets would be like, 'Let me in!'

K: That's so dramatic

S: I think there is a huge tree near my window, and so there would be tons of them there growing.

K: Ahhh, they would fall nicely at a 45 degree angle

S: And it's easy for them to come in but not go out. I realised that recently, they are not really coming anymore. I was wondering why, and it has been hot recently, so I've not been going into the veranda much. When I went out, I realised that the tree, wasnt there

K: Ehhhhh!??

S: It was totally trimmed, I guess there were tons of complaints coming from other residents about crickets coming into their houses too

K: Would they trim it because of complaints?!

S: It has a very clean haircut now.

K: I don't know if I should probe into it this much but is that tree within the estate?

S: Yes yes , it is, so it comes under their management. And actually I dont miss them at all and, i feel lucky in fact

K: And also it's nothing spiritual at all, just that the bugs are gone

S: Ahahahahaa

----

~About year end times and visiting their parents'~

S: It's hard for me to move around, like my hometown is in Yamanashi

K: Actually my parents home was in tokyo but they have moved to kanagawa actually, so they're like telling me, not to come back

S: Ahahahaa

K: And they got a cat, when I'm allergic to cats. And also since they're in Kanagawa, they might have some resistance to come to Tokyo. So, I can't go back!

S: Are you in contact with them?

K: Ahhh well yes

S: So that was when they told you that, they were getting a cat and stuff, and therefore

K: Telling me not to come back

S: I don't think that's what they think wwww

It's a tough time huh

K: Yes it's a tough family situation

S: Ahahahaaa what's that

K: Why are they going further away though...

S: I actually talked on the phone for 2 hours with my parents, after a long time, they seemed really happy i think. After that I think i heard from my sister that my parents told her about how i called them

K: Ahh

S: I'm usually the kind that doesnt contact people. So i guess this situation sort of makes us try to keep in contact. So not all's bad

K: I see, when i go back home, I'm like doing a radio show alone for 2 hours

S: Ahahahaaha

K: When i go home, I talk non stop, for like 1 hour and we laugh and laugh and then I'll be, 'Okay, I'm off'

S: Ahahahaa you're providing them one slot of entertainment

K: I'd be like, 'wasn't it fun?' , 'bye bye'

S: Does your style of talking take after any of your family members?

K: Nope

S: Ah

K: Totally no one. I'm the only one who talks this much

S: Ah, so they're rather quiet, all of them

K: My dad would talk when he's excited but is usually the listener. I don't really understand what my mum says at all

S: wwwww what does that mean?

K: Maybe we're similar?

S: Ahahahhaa

K: My younger sister doesn't ever come out of her room

S: Stop that

K: My elder brother keeps bullying others

S: wwwwww ok but

K: Maybe it's a hybrid, I'm all of those things at times

S: Well but you're nice on the inside

K: Yes I am! So is my family! Hahahaha

S: Haahahha

~~

Q. There are not many events nowadays but it seems like there are many recordings and filmings these days?

K: No?

S: wwwww well in general for voice actors, probably all the recordings that were halted have resumed  maybe

K: By recording, what kind of recording do you mean?

S: wwwww what do you mean by what kind?

K: Well there's after recording

S: Ah ah ah, Ok then count it in

K: Ah, okat then Yes, it has increased

S: Ahahahaa

K: Yes, it's great. I don't really have recording for like songs

S: I think ive gotten more reading jobs nowadays, and I've always said i liked reading, but i had one where i had to read out everything myself, it was, really difficult

K: I guess you have to create and ups and downs right, that's tough right

S: And i think, it's not too good if you create too many ups and downs

K: Ahhh, it's difficult to decide when to hold back

S: Yesyesyes. And usually i would read books for leisure and books for work differently.

K: I see

S: And recently I end up thinking a lot when reading, like how should I make it more interesting

K: Ahhh that doesn't sound fun

S: Totally

K: When I have fun doing YouTube, versus when I use some editing methods because I feel it's good for my videos

S: And it goes on for hours, well it happens for radio as well, like 3-4 hours, to be immersed in one story for rhat long, we don't have it that much

K: Uh huh

S: Like... i want to improve my concentrating ability

K: Ahhh that...

S: Well....Kaito kun are there any types of jobs that you have more now

K: Not really... anything... it has been the same

S: So it has really gotten back to normal

K: Yes. I think I've had more free talk sort of gigs now

S: wwwwww

K: So, what do they see me as?

S: Well but you know you are able to do freetalk for 2 hours at your parent's house

K: No no no but well the freetalk at do at my parent's house goes like, 'this and this happened at work, haha, my partner for radio is this sort of person, he's really irritating

S: Wait wait, stop stop, can i rewind?

K: Ok ok ok, so like what i say at my parent's house goes like, 'my partner for radio is really irritating' something like that

S: wwwwwww

K: Hahahaha, just a little

S: You simplified it huh, from just now

K: I don't even remember what i said

S: But Kaito kun is someone who can just talk about something interesting when the time needs to be dragged a little

K: Really?

S: Isn't that so?

K: Freetalk is like... if there's nothing interesting that happened in your daily life, there's nothing to talk about so

S: Yes, that's true

K: So, i only say what comes to mind at that point

S: Yeah yeah

K: So, sometimes i read comments like, 'Kaito kun said this and this some time ago but now he's saying this and this'

S: Uh huh

K: But what i say is different at different times. So, recently I felt the need to accumulate things to talk about

S: Yes, that's also what you thought of due to this increase in free talk related gigs

K: Yes yes

S: And so you're actually

K: I wanted to note down stuff so, use my secret twitter account that I use for ego searching

S: Wait wait, why, why? Just use a notebook or something

K: Well but, I feel like tweeting them

S: Ahahahhaaa I don't get it! Your ego searching account

K: It has 0 followers, is unlocked, and has no interaction with anyone

S: I see I see

K: And I would tweet photos of my animal crossing game for my own keepsake

S: Ahahahaha huh? That's kinda scary

K: So I'm using it in place of a notebook now. My recent note was 'Human nails degenerate too fast, don't they?' They break all the time and it's painful and bloody', and I don't even remember what that was about

S: Oh my god

K: Scary right?

S: Totally scary, Posting animal crossing photos and leading to this is also scary. What's that about human nails?!

K: The fact that it's scary... already becomes a topic

S: I see I see, you noting down things and don't remember anything about it

K: And the fact that the first tweet was something really scary

S: Ahahahhaahaa

K: Hahahaa

S: But it's an account you would like to keep lowkey

K: If it gets circulated due to a bug or something that would be real bad

S: Please be careful!

~ Dame raji photo studio ~

Topic: Please express your favourite 4 word idiom with your body as much as you can 

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