#edit: i was wrong in 2022 but it's ok people change

[spade-riddles]

Submission: Ed Louis Harry and 🎃

I’m the Ed Sheeran anon and further to the Ed, Taylor Harry, Louis links I wanted to add some further things if that’s ok!

Taylor refers to someone being ‘too young to know the song intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming’, among many other Louis Tomlinson song titles littered throughout TTPD.

In bejewelled we see the clock showing exile ends at midnight. The clock has the numbers 3,6,9 missing. Louis has plugged ‘3,6,9’ since 2022 alongside his album faith in the future. 3,6,9,(12)??. He has also said: he has written songs for other artists that he isn’t credited on. He also said his third album will be the kind of music he wants to make, that album 2 - faith in the future(3,6,9) is a kind of bridge between album 1 and the sound he wants to have by LT3. This was a reference to genre but if we are building to midnight.. LT3 would be his midnight like TS12 is Taylor’s. He has just registered a song called ‘Hello’ which reminded me of message 13 🎃.

wildest dreams and perfect are songs overtly related to each other, perfect was written by Harry and Louis and to Larry’s seems to nod to their relationship, despite the appearance it’s about Taylor in the same way HStyles is the Style red herring.

Within the days of the 1989 TV drop, Louis made a very vague unprompted Larry denial on Twitter that was immediate picked up and ran in the press (without once mentioning the word Larry in the Twitter question or response). I believe this took place on 31st October: the veil between this life and the next, thinner than ever🎃.

Again in the week or so lead up to the TTPD release, Louis made a Larry denial in an interview stating Larry’s are so ‘intertwined with what they believe’ there’s nothing he can do, nothing he can say - so be it. I checked the dates and it’s close to an anon spade msg here from April 10 that could maybe reference that? Aside from the intertwined parallels in his denial/Tays music and the 🎃, this denial has also been picked up to be referencing the lyrics of the song total eclipse of the heart… My only one, smoking gun, my eclipsed sun ❤️

He quietly dropped his live tour album the week of TTPD and tweeted a screen shot of him ‘listening’ to a song of his thought to be about closeting, but the song was paused at ‘13’ seconds which Louis fans have taken as support for Taylor.

The track Peter is no. 28- to Louis fans that’s his number the way that 13 is Taylor’s. He has it tattooed on his knuckles. Peter, my lost fearless leader, he also has a song called fearless asking someone if they remember being young enough to get it wrong in front of all these people. Taylor ordered ‘Louis champagne ‘ for $28,00 recently. I really think she wants us to be looking at Louis.

I did notice ‘face the music’ (a Louis song) written in the 🎃 messages as well as ‘they’ll say we’re lucky’ or something, another song of his ‘we were lucky once, I could be lucky again’. 🎃also constantly references faith like faith in the future.

But daddy I love him! Nods to harry’s t shirt (prior to BDILH searching that phrase would lead to basically just Larry edits and fanfiction) and also lyrically nodding to kiwi ‘I’m having your baby! it’s none of your business’ which for Larry’s evokes babygate. Louis has been loud on tour, changing a lyric in back to you to visibly mouth ‘I love him!’ every night for months. BDILH references braids which I think comes up again and again in the album, these braids (and as 🎃 says ropes) and intertwined fabric of our dreaming, or ‘stiching we were just kids babe’ pointing to Louis: ‘we were kids just trying to work it out’ .

As the other Ed Sheeran anon said, Ed tweeted about his best friends wedding on the 28th and Harry’s Joni lyric referenced the town hall- as does BDILH. 28 is Louis number, believed to be for this reason- some sort of commitment on that day so 28 September is a super significant date- I read somewhere Taylor did a cover of a song changing a lyric to ‘love was born on the 28th of September’ when it was supposed to be the 21st.

The Ed album fascinated me as both a Larry and Gaylor. It is littered with so many symbolic references to LT,TS and HS and then understanding the lyrics I find it’s difficult to discern if they are about Louis, Harry or Taylor narrative wise. It has a clock as one of the art symbols, showing its nearly 12 and a track called midnight. There is literally a ‘Bowery bar’ reference.

Ed’s song ‘friends’ has always felt like it was about Larry and he has played shows with imagery of a couple that looks like an exact clip of Larry in the background. 🎃 talks about friends - and friends of friends and I think as the other anon said Ed is such a close link between these two parallel stories. In promo of autumn variations he brought up how he loves pop and how great NSYNC and Britney Spears are. To me these are two tortured poets- one being a boy band including Lance Bass, a closeted band member who has since come out .. and that Taylor exchanged a friendship bracelet with. Two being Brittney who is evoked on the album thank u Aimee/*~ if you seek amy~. It seems Easter eggy that Ed referenced those two artists but that could be a reach.

I’ve been looking into Harry, Louis and Taylor’s allusions to ‘home’, ‘America’ and ‘London/England’ and they all tell an interesting story together about the safety of England, Taylor has loved that place for so long . The track English girl in an American town raised eyebrows if you consider it to be American girl in an English town, or, if the girl in the song is Harry. Lighthouses, darkness, the cold, ships, burning things down, being with your lover at night and then having to go to work for weeks.. these things are all in Ed’s album.

Taylor could make out the fairy lights through the mist in so long, London and in Ed’s song England the picturesque town ‘has fairy lights on the building supplying us power from the sea’. On open day, the town is cleaned up: the stones are hidden, the lighthouse is retired and a new one that’s taller hired. The town has a pub with a flag working flexible hours (glass closet, in my mind). The album also refers to things being in shade, or things being painted black (‘a home made of stones painted black’ for e.g). That song England solved the mystery of the nonsensical phrases in keep driving in Harry’s house: ‘choke her with a sea view, tooth ache, bad news, just act normal’ . The stone homes painted black have a glass window out at the back of them for the view (the sea view) as in, contrived moments giving a look into the privacy of the homes. There is only one sign in the town and people slow down to look on open day in Ed’s song, but harry says should we just keep driving?

The autumn variations cover art symbols have a grave with ‘bad news’ written on it, and a ring for ‘good news’. Along with a bird that looks like the tattoo on his chest and other lyrical allusions like to having a cup of tea ☕️ with a friend called Matilda; who doesn’t have to go home. (who is so Taylor in my mind). On tour he always began the song: this song is for a friend of mine it means a lot to me and I hope one day it will mean a lot to you, too. which I always found confusing but if comingoutlor is happening it makes sense to me as Matilda tied up her hair like it’s no big deal (like the now tight hair pins, no longer dropping, shown in TTPD vids) and is hosting a party with her friends but not the family who never showed her love (to be clear I don’t think of that so literally to be saying her blood family)

There are so many other parallels in their music: Harry’s been praying, ever since New York. Louis says he knows you left a part of you in New York. Taylor says… you know I left a part of me in New York. New York for me is the 1989 era: the girls and girls boys and boys, it is an interrelated, intertwined closet and why I think 🎃 references ‘wildest dreams’. We also have a lot of imagery parallels with the moon and saturn, ladders, clocks, the wizard of Oz, Alice in wonderland that all three use. As well as meeting in the hallway..

In exile WB and TS say they gave so many signs, all this time!!!! Louis has a song called all this time: ‘just have patience…’ ’building mountains hoping that they’ll turn to gold.. the friends we make, the love it takes it’s worth it, all this time’ reminds me of karma taking all my friends to the summit.

He has references about fabricated fairytales, half told stories and love being a lie in his music. One or two music videos show a group of people all standing together, uniting to be victorious I believe it’s in ‘we made it’ or ‘silver tongues’. (I am an I think Louis or both Harry and Louis are William Bowery clown, if you can’t tell🤡!! ). Louis has ‘sat down with a master plan’ and TS is a ‘mastermind’, which written on a shirt worn by Louis recently. Louis being with prince william within days of Taylor was so suss to me!!

Sorry that’s so long - I recently have clicked that my two separate interests in Gaylor and Larry come together in so many ways🙊🙊

[mtel420]

Counter-Exposing Banjo/Tiredite/Lunar Moonyu/Lunar Cheese - Part 2

If you want the whole backstory- https://www.tumblr.com/htcsense5/732278019975151616/counter-exposing-banjotireditelunar-moonyulunar?source=share

Hey guys.

NKYT here.

As you guys know in October, we have exposed banjo for her past self for trying to expose arsik and since our expose did nothing to her, i deciced to speak on my side of my interactions with her that i had back in July 2021 - January 2022 with banjo before i disappeared because of her (we will get to that later on). So i guess let's start with the story..

After the March-June war was declared, i gave banjo a second chance, because i thought she truly changed and won't do those mistakes again but unfortunately, we were all wrong….

In the end of July 2021, things started to get worse because i saw David saying "binoi sucks" and i instantely sended that to my now ex-friend banjo and she wanted me to ask him "is that a joke?". And from there on, people, including my friends thought i was choosing her side, which would come to appearant when she stole me from my friends in August 2021 with some weird ass love message. And everything after that my career was gonna go downhill.

In September 2021, she began going "me mad" over David, doing his series of "Live streams for phones" when i was featured. She started accusing me of her being disappointed of David and then me like YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA IGNORE VCS WHAT IS THIS???

Then things will get worse when in October 2021, banjo started using "gay jokes" on David for vcing with me which i wasnt ok with her making those jokes to both of us, but she kept going.

In November 2021, it got even worse when she heavily continued calling david gay and thinking of drawing a ship between me and david because we were just only vcing. She was also saying things like "imaging saying gay things to him" and shockingly "imma burn david for being gay" showing homophobia, which is pretty ironic since now in 2023 she became pansexual.

She has already stolen me from my friends but things will get even worse in December 2021, specifically on December 31st 2021 8:28 PM. Hours prior to that, banjo started to get me into Touhou characters by guessing them in what we call her stupid edition server, also known as "The Mayakou Server" thing. While i was already doing the things banjo told me to do, my friends started posting some memes in that bot guessing channel and then something in my brain was like they were trolling me so i sent a meme that had a guy reading a book said "how to deal with idiots" or something like that i dont remember. And then the worst happened. Arsik blocked me shortly after that and there was exchanges between me and my friends.

It makes me sad to know that banjo made me hate my own friends, my own community, the people that made me successful, and i blew it all out because of that one whore. People after that started to hate me for choosing banjo and for insulting one of my best friends over some petty drama. I was already cancelled because of the drama i had with my friends thanks to banjo and in the result that made me quit all social media on January 15th 2022.

When i was out of Discord by that time, i was on still on David's streams and then banjo saw that and started harassing David for being "gay" because he made me alive (umm what?) and she tried to revealed his full name.

11 months later, i would finally apologise for all of the wrong things that i've done in the community and thankfully everyone gave me another chance. 2 days after i returned to Discord (26th of December 2022), Banjo would try to friend me on my new account, but i've ignored it, because if i have accepted her again, everything would have gone downhill just like in December 2021.

Anyways we wouldn’t get any updates from her until February 11th when a weird account by the name of "私について読んでください#4082" sent me a friend request that had a pastebin link which at first didn’t work. But after it got edited to work, it was clear that banjo was again trying to apologise to us and get us back, but we declined it.

Then on April 2nd, Banjo would try to friend me again on her main account, this time with her about me page being "nick i only came to talk to you" which i was suspicious what was she going to talk about so this time i accepted it to see what she wanted to say and a day later, i got a response by her and again SHE WANTED TO APOLOGISE. sigh. So i told her that "it’s impossible to move on to another chapter of your life, if you keep re-reading the last one" and blocked her after that.

Things would finally go back to normal after she stopped trying to get us back, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the end. On June 9th 2023, Banjo again tried to get me to respond on Instagram by her saying that she can’t forget me and that when she sees a bulgarian person, it reminds her of me for some reason (like why?). But anyways, i didn’t bother responding to her so i ghosted her.

But then on July 3rd, i wanted to talk to Banjo for the last time, because she was mentioning our names and i wanted to put an end to this, by saying that she needs to keep our names out of her mouth.

She was like "ok, i will move on for real" on my dms, but in reality, the next day (4th of July), she says that we are ignorant like wtf and wanted to be racist by saying that she wants to be a bulgarianphobe and supporting Macedonia. She was saying such nasty things even after i told her to stop, but nothing help, same thing on August 20th (our next confrontation, this time in a gc), nothing helped.

Like imagine hating a WHOLE country only because your crush rejected you like wtaf💀.

And here we are on August 20th 2023. A day prior to that, she tried to befriend our friend and owner of Project Mobile "Gunbo" who actually accepted her friend request which prompted us to tell him to add us to a group with her so we could tell her to just leave us alone for the last time, but while she was like "I will try i will try" she once again was mentioning her drama with us and referred to us as "the nkits" so yeah, nothing helped.

And then here comes October 22nd, 2023 when a guy attacked servers Arsik was in with an exposé of him, in it banjo’s tried to expose our good friend Arsik for him acting sexually to banjo when in reality arsik was 11 and banjo was 13, and she even thought that arsik was 10. And also she purposely hid her name so that people wouldn’t hate her for erping with a 10 year old. So we fought back with our expose which people called "baby drama". And this is where i lost it. HOW CAN YOU CALL ALL OF THIS TRAUMA THAT WE HAD TO SUFFER BABY DRAMA??

Anyways before i go off more, i just want to say that this drama isnt baby drama. This is serious shit that people need into, by taking a look at our exposés against banjo and realise that this is all serious and we aren’t joking around, but sadly banjo didn’t get cancelled over our exposé and people were still supporting her, despite the expose that arsik made being already public, but no one gave a damn sadly. But here i am shining the light on the fact that banjo is an full-on creep who sexualises minors and hypnotises her friends into being on her side.

And now comes December 16th 2023. The day we joined the Java-oriented server "Kahvibreak". We wanted to join with my friend because we were interested in java preservation too, but we knew that banjo was there thought we joined nonetheless since it’s a good server. And hours later, banjo saw that we were in the server and she went "baiii my enemies are here" which made the people in kahvibreak become suspicious that we came to harass her, when in reality, we didn’t want to harass anyone. Soon after she left, she changed her Discord name to "JUST DESTROY ME.." to now "A....". (update: she has returned. no surprise)

So yeah this is the whole story of my own point of view of what is like to be friends with a creep and a nsfw artist. And to everyone who is reading this. It's best to avoid any interactions with Banjo because she is a manipulator and a creep that has been known by our community, but despite that she wanted to return after we told her to move on, but as of now she’s trying to join other corners of our community, never missing the opportunity to say something about us and how we cancelled her and whatnot. It's crazy that people like banjo exist and makes me furious that people call our drama childish. Like can you just take a quick second to see that this is very real and serious? Banjo traumatised us with her explicit art and it’s not a joke. Anyways, i hope we can spread this message across our community and her community so people could very well know her backstory and why they should not be friends with banjo.

Banjo is an attention seeker who would do anything to bring light to her dying career, including in some rather shady ways. She’s using her past for attention and it’s rather pathetic.

Anyways, im working on a folder called "Banjo's Hellhole" which includes all of her moments and once the project gets finished, i will provide a Google Drive link for it so you can guys get a better look at her. But for now, that's all that i have to say about her.

Thank you all for reading this and Fuck You Banjo!😉

[drowsysources]

【 𝓛𝔂𝓻𝓲𝓬 𝓢𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼】

ʚ🎵ɞ Spotify Wrapped 2022 Edition: Part 3

a bunch of assorted lyrics taken from my top 100 songs in my wrapped playlist! feel free to ask for the sources of the songs! (also feel free to change pronouns if need be!)

’ Mama told us we were good kids. ‘

‘ Daddy told us never listen to the ones pointing nasty fingers and making fun, ‘cause we were good kids! ‘

‘ We never really went buying clothes. ‘

‘ Our kind of people had a bed for the night, and it was okay. ‘

‘ Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have it bad. ‘

‘ The other kids were calling me a wannabe. ‘

‘ An old friend can give advice, when new friends only know a half story. ‘

‘ It’s the first day of school, and I think I might quit. ‘

‘ I packed up my things, and I walked through the door, and I’m goin’ somewhere else instead. ‘

‘ I’ll never waste my time, I’ll never say goodbye. ‘

‘ It’s a feeling we can’t forget. ‘

‘ Do you remember the days gone by? ‘

‘ Do you remember the way that we dreamed, we could change our lives? ‘

‘ The things that I’m feelin’ still don’t make sense. ‘

‘ I’ve tried to explain, and it hurts to describe. ‘

‘ Do you remember the day we pretended to be every star in the sky? ‘

‘ I barely made it out of bed. ‘

‘ Wish I could say “OK, you win, now pass through” ‘

‘ But every day, some way, somehow, I smash through. ‘

‘ So when you tell me just to cheer up and smile more, you tell a story that you don’t even know. ‘

‘I hope one day you don’t feel the way I feel. ‘

‘ I had a hard time as a kid. ‘

‘ Saw some shitty therapist who told me, “just don’t worry ‘bout it! It’s just you.” ‘

‘ So shut the fuck up when you tell me to smile more. ‘

‘ You sound more ignorant than you even know. ‘

‘ I’m tired of waiting for you baby. ‘

‘ The melody flows on the phone, I wish your voice could stay here. ‘

‘ Is it an illusion? I’ll never… let you go! ‘

‘ Ah you’ve got to show me your smile. ‘

‘ While watching the starry sky, I was in another world. ‘

‘ Even though I can't let go, and my memories are an illusion. ‘

[kings-paintbrush]

YIPEEEEE TY GUYS OK OK OK SOOOOO

PART ONE: MY DRSELF (you’ve sucked yourself into my autistic vortex, you will not escape)

When I first shift it’s to Avengers 1, I wake up in this like all white medical room. Bc my powers activated on the 2nd day Loki was on earth (or the first, either way the news hasn’t reached my ears yet from all the way in atlanta)

I change ALOT of stuff in my dr and that’s for the better tbh, but first; my drself!! This drawing is from like June of 2022 so it’s bad but I’m planning a slight redesign to make it look a little more like me (bigger nose, different eye shape, darker skin tone)

I would add the picrews I made but I don’t feel like finding the picrew links 😭😭 edit: yes I drew this!! I have an art blog if anyone’s interested!

anyways, my hero name is “Dream Trotter”. I can Visit and Manipulate people’s dreams, have the occasional prothetic dream, and pull people into a weird state between being awake and asleep

ALSO I HAVE A MAGIC FUCKING DREAM HORSE. Don’t ask me why. We’re a package deal (I hate country music and being outside and I’m not a horse girl unless mlp counts… but I am the most marketable avenger) I’m so sad I realized I don’t have my andromeda drawings saved, Andromeda is the name of my horse, she doesn’t do much tbh but she’s like an overgrown cat.

so, you’re probably wondering “how did you get such cool, awesome powers?” AND FOR THAT I NOW NEED TO PUSH MY AGENDA UPON ALL OF YOU. Near the time that Disney Plus dropped, me and my family all watched The 90’s X-men Series! This comic accurate wonder of a show. If any of you enjoy the X-men “movies” if you can even call them that. You’re wrong. Just wrong. (unlesss it’s the 3 wolverine movies, they’re amazing, they ONLY managed to get him and him alone right) But Basically, mutants have a dormant ‘mutant X’ gene that activate around puberty. So a theory from a YouTuber (idk who, it’s either new rockstars or that guy with his dog) is what drives my dr. That the Mutant X Gene can be activated by puberty, but also by traumatic/cosmic/magic etc events. (Like Wanda with the bomb and the infinity stone, or Monica being pushed through the hex.)

and apart of this theory is that Nick fury knows about the mutants and has been hiding them (which will be more important when we get to the timeline) but like the main evidence is the fact that Monica Rambeu was so adamant on avoiding blood test, alluding to the fact that something could’ve been going on with her before she was hex.

my powers visually are really trippy, it’s like a lucid dream. https://pin.it/5fbGeet erm anddd IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE ASK!!

OK OK THATS PART ONE OF LIKE THREE MAYBE TWO PART THREE MAY JUST BE SCATTERED HEADCANONS BUT NEXT IM ACTUALLY GONNA TALK ABOUT THE PLOT OF MY DR THANK YOU FOR READING MY ESSAY @romanoffshifting @snowdecahdrn @shitty-shifty-shiftblr-blog

PLEASE

I NEED SOMEONE TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT MY MCU DR ITS SO COOL

[mqfx]

for the record this is how I think martial gods ass ranking goes

xl (OBVIOUS clear winner self-explanatory)

qyz (heart of gold, fat of ass. effortless)

pm (I'm sorry I had to say it . this is such a fucking crime tbh it makes me sick to say it. this cake is WASTED on a misogynist I'm gonna cry. he cries about it too and that's my only consolation)

jw (it's an ass that screams......well. it screams. mostly agonized wailing though. only here on a technicality bc the faces add to the circumference)

mq (tasteful, perpetually clenched, and if you ever told anyone about it nobody would believe you)

fx (mid. archery makes for fine tits but not much ass i speak from experience. but thats ok nobody remembers feng xin for his ass anyway I mean look at his massive c-)

yy (so mid people forgot he's on the list. but it's a hardworking ass so fuck you guys)

lqq (it's all tailbone)

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

[daz4i]

ok ok this is another one of those posts where i’m being angry over something only i care about to let it out. okay. sorry about that. but hope if you read it you enjoy my rage. 

so bring me the horizon kind of changed their image in recent years (i’d argue that sempiternal was the turning point but for some reason ppl insist this era is still old bmth so idk). they’re leaning way more into scene culture and mix more pop-ish aesthetics into their image and music by collabing with artists like babymetal and ed sheeran or even just with visual changes, and i fucking love it tbh i think it’s really cool and a nice way to adapt into the modern music industry while still generally sticking to the same genres, just giving them a new twist

but as i mentioned this affects their aesthetic as well, and a few days ago they uploaded a pic of oliver dressed in rainbow clothing and i think makeup too? and that outfit genuinely fucked so hard i thought it was awesome and like, most of the comments on their posts are usually supportive so i like looking at them, but this time it was a mistake bc my god. 

(edit: just checked and a key detail i forgot was the caption of the pic was just a pride flag emoji and a credit for the photographer. so yeah this def impacted the comments lol)

it was all people talking about bmth changed (as if it hasn’t been like. nearly a decade of that??) or making these lame cheap jokes with homophobic/transphobic undertones that ppl tend to make when they see a man be just a smidge too feminine for their taste, making jokes about bmth being like sensitive snowflakes or w/e and laughing about how bmth is “woke” now? for uploading a pic of their lead singer in colorful clothes???? 

like 1 what is wrong with you 2 where do you think you are. what do you think this band stands for. the band whose most songs are about mental health and opening up about feelings. a band that encourages a sense of community within its fans and is constantly showing support for more vulnerable groups in society. that’s their whole THING it always has been!!!!!!!! they’re just no longer wearing black about it ig!!!!!! 

like you see a man wearing a cool outfit and your first reaction is “hmm i don’t like the direction bmth is taking...” GIRL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. WHAT DIRECTION. THE ONE THEY’VE BEEN GOING FOR SINCE *googles sempiternal release date* 2013????? IT’S 2022 GET OVER YOURSELFFFFFF GROW UP. literally if you miss their old stuff so much go listen to it it’s all available on basically every music service. no one’s forcing you to interact with their new stuff, not just their music but everything around it too. if you’re not having fun just leave no one’s forcing you to stay. but why are you being so shitty about this. shut the fuck up

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch47: The Terrible Twos Part 2: Fuck off, Clown.

 Intro: In the fourth year since the snap, Jamie enters the terrible twos.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N:  So this chapter is kind of a little different to the others here really, as it’s almost like a collection of long drabbles detailing their life over 2022. And just a little reminded, Phobias, Steve admits to Katie he has a fear of clowns…keep that in mind! @angrybirdcr​ really did outdo herself with these edits too...

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 48 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 September 2022

“Mom.” Emmy’s voice was soft and Katie instantly looked up from her laptop. “Where’s Dad?” “He’s gone for a run, well as much of a run as he can with Jamie hanging off his back.”  Katie said, frowning slightly as she saw her fifteen year old daughter wasn’t dressed for school. “Is everything ok? I can call him.” “No, it’s fine. It’s you I wanted to talk to.” Emmy hovered from one foot to the other. “I err…”

She looked down at her feet, a huge flush on her face. Katie closed her laptop and stood up. “Em, what’s wrong?” “I think I, well, no I know I err… I started my period and…” “Oh, Sweetie.” Katie chuckled slightly as she wrapped the girl into a hug. “You feeling okay?”

“Erm, I got cramps and I’m really tired.” Emmy mumbled, her cheek pressed against Katie’s shoulder “And, I err, I got some on the sheets.”

Katie smoothed back Emmy’s hair and shrugged “It’s no big deal. I’ll get you some painkillers and why don’t you go have a bath, I’ll sort your bed and then we’ll sit and watch shit on TV all day. I can stay home.”

Emmy nodded eagerly, and peered up at her mom. “Snacks?”

“Dur.”

“Thanks Mom.” Emmy hugged her tight.

“It’s okay, I know how it feels. And, just for the record, beinga woman sucks at times but other times it’s kinda cool.”

“Cool?” Emmy frowned, stepping back a little.

“Yeah, you get boobs.” Katie gestured to her chest “They tend to fascinate most men.”

Katie followed her daughter upstairs where Emmy retreated into the bathroom, whilst Katie found her some pads before she stripped the sheets down and headed to the utility room at the side of the kitchen that held their washing machines and dryer. She was just turning the machine on when the door opened and Steve stepped in, Jamie on his back, giggling away. Steve’s face was red from the brisk November air and the part of Jamie’s cheeks which were visible from beneath his hat and above his scarf were also tinged pink a little.

“Laugh it up, Pal.”  Steve shook his head, as he bent down so Jamie could slide off his back “That’s the last time I’m taking you.” “You said that yesterday, and the day before.” Katie smirked, taking the kiss Steve offered, ignoring Jamie’s noise of disgust. “You love it.”

“Hmmm.” Steve made a non-committal noise in his throat. “Any breakfast going or shall I start some?” “Go get a shower and I’ll make it. We can eat together when Emmy’s out of the bath.”

Steve frowned “Shouldn’t she be on the bus?”

“She’s not feeling too good.” Katie shook her head. “I told her I’d stay home with her, today.”

Steve’s frown deepened as he shrugged off his running jacket. “What’s wrong with her? She sick?” “It’s nothing a day in front of the TV, a heat pad and a blanket can’t fix.” Katie gave him a significant look. As ever it took him a while to cotton on, but when he realised what she was saying, Katie really had to bite back the laugh as his face rearranged itself into a look of surprise, which flickered to pure dumbfoundedness as he struggled for a reply.

“Don’t worry, I got it.” She grinned, patting his chest.

“Momma?” A voice came from the kitchen and Katie turned to face Jamie who was stood by the fridge “I’m hungry.” “Yeah, I’m gonna start breakfast now, baby.” she smiled, “Eggs and toast ok?” “Nomm!” He grinned as he padded over to the table and pulled himself up into a seat. Steve had to give a snort, without his seat he could barely see over the top of the table. He made his way over, lifted Jamie easily with one hand causing the boy to cackle before he replaced him back on the booster and scooted him closer.

“That better?” He asked, dropping a kiss to his son’s head.

“Fankoo, daddy.” he grinned.

“You’re welcome, Buddy.” Steve said straightening up. He turned to Katie “I’m gonna go shower then I’ll come help.”

Katie waved him away with a smile. He took the stairs two at a time and headed into their bedroom. If he was honest he’d been shitting himself about this day for ages. He’d watched Emmy grow up way too fast for his liking over the past few years and now, well he didn’t even want to think about the whole turning into a woman thing. All he knew was he was thankful for Katie’s level head.

He showered quickly, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a red plaid button down ready for his meetings that day and headed onto the landing, just as Emmy was emerging from the larger bathroom wrapped in a robe.

“Hey, Sweetie. Your Ma said you’re not feeling too good.”

She shrugged, “Not really.” “Will a hug help?” He asked and she smiled, nodding. He opened his arms and she stepped into them as he gave her a soft but firm snuggle.

“Thanks, dad.” she said softly.

“Any time, baby.” he dropped a kiss to her head. “Now I’d go get dressed if I were you, before your brother eats all the breakfast.”

*****

When Steve came back that evening, his girls were pretty much in the same spot they had been in all day. When he asked if they’d moved at all, Katie grinned and pointed out that they were both in clean sets of Pyjamas and Jamie was in bed, so of course they had moved, and that they were getting take-out for Dinner because she couldn’t be bothered to cook and it was Friday after all. With a good natured roll of his eyes, Steve cast one final look at them over his shoulder before he headed upstairs to change, leaving them to watch Love Actually. It was nowhere near Christmas, but he knew what they were like when it came to their soppy films, so he left them to it.

When he came back downstairs they were deep in conversation, so he paused for a moment at the door. He didn’t mean to listen in, but he didn’t want to interrupt. And if he was honest, there was something so pure and innocent about their chat that he simply couldn’t help it.

“You know, I still never forgave Adam Rickman for breaking Emma Thompson’s heart.” Katie sighed as Emmy scoffed.

“Has Dad ever bought you a really crappy gift?” she asked.

“No.” Katie replied. “He’s very thoughtful. Although the best gift he gave me wasn’t one he bought anyway.” “Your emerald?” Emmy asked, and Katie made a noise of affirmation. They fell silent for a moment before Emmy spoke again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Course.”

“If anything happened to Dad, do you think you’d ever like date again?”

Steve frowned slightly as he heard Katie exhale “That’s deep Em. I dunno. I don’t think I’d ever be able to love another man the way I love Steve. In fact I know I wouldn’t. What on Earth made you ask that?” “Oh, Brooke is trying to get Jen dating but she keeps saying she loves Brooke’s dad too much and I kinda think it’s sad as he’s been dead for years. ” “Yeah, well, the thing is Em when you’re in love, and I mean truly in love, it consumes you. That person becomes as much a part of your life as you are and to lose them like that…well I can’t imagine what a hole that would leave in their place.”

“Yeah, suppose.” “You’ll figure that out soon enough.” Katie chuckled.

“Was Dad your first love?”

“He’s been the only man I’ve ever truly been in love with, yes.” Katie replied “For most people a first love and a true love are very different things.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, for instance my first love was a guy called Mikey, he was my first boyfriend. I wasn’t much older than you, dated him for about twelve months.” Katie mused. “He was the first guy I ever slept with. Then there was Grant and we don’t talk about him, ever as he was an asshole.”

Emmy gave a snort

“But your dad, well, he was different. We cared so much about each other before we even started dating. I mean, if I’m honest, I loved him way before he even asked me out.” “Who made the first move?” “He did.” Katie smirked and at that point Steve gave a scoff and walked into the room.

“Liar.” “Oh you so did!” Katie looked at him, unabashed he’d been listening. “You kissed me after Rumlow’s party. You’d have kissed me before that as well if you hadn’t been such a chicken shit.” Steve rolled his eyes and flopped onto the seat at the opposite side of the coffee table. “You didn’t exactly push me away.” “Dur.” It was Katie’s time to roll her eyes as Emmy snorted “I’d been waiting for you to make a move for months.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at her as the teenager quipped. “You were still a bit slow on the uptake back then I see.” “Err, less of your cheek young lady.” He shot back and she giggled.

“You know the first time we had sex he literally ripped my pants off.” Katie grinned at Steve and he pulled a face as Emmy cackled.

“Jesus, Doll.” He flushed bright red.

“Wasn’t the only time either.” “Okay,” Steve stood up with a sigh, shaking his head, as Emmy cackled. He wasn’t particularly keen on discussing his sex life with his fifteen year old kid. “I’m gonna get the Thai Menu.”

Katie watched him go before she winked at Emmy and stood up, following him into the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled into his shoulder. “I love how after all this time I can still make you blush.” “You’re a damned nightmare.” He chuckled as his hands rest on top of hers, using them to pull her closer as he turned to face her.

“But you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” He smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips.

****

Steve didn’t quite rip Katie’s pants off that night, but it was still passionate enough to send them both into an orgasm induced sleep almost straight away. But Steve was a light sleeper, not as light as he had been once-upon-a-time, as sleeping besides his wife gave him a sense of peace. That said, his super-soldier hearing always woke him should something be out of place, so when he was pulled from his slumber it took him a while to realise that the soft voices he could hear downstairs was the TV. Knowing it could only be one person, he swung his legs out of bed and pulled on a sweater before he padded down the stairs.

“Emmy?” He asked gently as he opened the door to the living room. The teenager looked up from where she was sat, knees tucked up besides her.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged and his sharp eyes didn’t miss the movement her hand made over her tummy. “And lying in bed was doing my head in.”

“Did you take anything?” Steve asked and she looked at him. “For the pain?”

“Oh,” she flushed slightly, “yeah, but it hasn’t worked yet.”

Steve nodded and headed into the kitchen, putting on the kettle. He made the pair of them a hot drink, stuck another heat-pack in the microwave and then paused as he passed the cupboard where he kept his secret stash.

Well, if this wasn’t an occasion it was called for then what was?

Emmy looked up as he walked back into the lounge. He placed the peppermint tea down on the table in front of her, before he passed her the heat pack and then wordlessly produced the Dairy Milk bar from his sweatpants pocket.

“You’re giving me your chocolate?” Emmy looked at him.

“Don’t tell your brother.” Steve said as he sat next to her, flopping his feet up on the coffee table.

She grinned and unwrapped the bar, offering him a piece which he took and shoved in his mouth.

“You’re pretty clued up on all this given you’re like a hundred and five.” She grinned cheekily

“Yeah well, I’ve been with your ma for ten years so I picked up a few tips.” He shrugged. She took a sip of her drink, rearranged her blanket and then picked up his arm so she could snuggle into him. He gently ran his hand over the back of her head as she got comfortable.

“What we watching?” He asked.

“Bad Boys.”

Steve chuckled. “I like this one. That is if I’m not too old to keep you company for a while?” “Nah.” She grinned as she placed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re good.” Katie found the pair of them flat out on the sofa the next morning, Emmy’s head propped up on a pillow as she snuggled up against Steve, her back pressed to his chest as the solider was stretched out down the sofa behind her, arms around his daughter as they slept.

****

October 2022

“All set?” Katie asked as she reached the bottom of the stairs as Steve walked back into the hall having loaded their bags into the car. They were heading off to Tony’s lake-house for a few days where he was throwing a bit of a Halloween party, nothing major but it was a chance for the kids to get dressed up in costumes and eat a load of candy whilst the adults could kick back and drink. Katie was looking forward to it for two reasons. Firstly, it was always nice to gather together with friends and family, well those of them that were left post snap-it made her feel normal, and she could push that persistent feeling of sadness that seemed to manifest on a daily basis, back down into the depth of her mind. And secondly, she was a little excited because she had no idea what Emmy or Jamie’s outfits were going to be.

Emmy had asked a month or so ago if she could be in charge of getting the pair of them costumes and Katie had agreed, simply handing over her card when she wanted to order whatever it was off the internet. She’d even resisted the urge to check her statement to see what it was, as Emmy had demanded she didn’t try and find out. Katie had a sneaking suspicion that Tony had also been involved in these costume choices, as the last time her brother had been over a few weeks ago, the pair of them had been huddled on the large arm chair, sniggering as they looked at something on Tony’s phone. With that in mind she was expecting Jamie to come down in some form of Iron Man or Captain America costume and she had every intention of filming Steve’s response.

“Yup. Locked and loaded.” Steve nodded, dropping a kiss to her cheek.”As soon as the kids are ready we can go.”

“No rush.” Katie shrugged, looking at her watch as they walked into the kitchen. “We don’t need to be there for a few hours.” She wrinkled her nose and slapped at Steve’s hand as he went to peek under the foil wrapped plate on the side. He sharply withdrew it and grinned at her.

“Tell me that’s a pie.”

“Apple and pumpkin, but it’s for the party.”

Steve pouted and she laughed and jerked her head behind her. “There’s another there as I knew you wouldn’t be able to wait.”

“You-” Steve pecked her lips “-are” another peck “-the best.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Captain.” She smirked as his lips hovered over hers and he deepened the kiss slightly, both his hands sliding down to give her ass a playful squeeze before he stepped back and walked over to his coveted prize. Steve peeled back the little cloth that was over the top and gave a little groan that was positively sinful as he inhaled the smell.

“Don’t eat that straight out of the pie dish,” Katie warned him as he made his way to the freezer for the ice cream, “I was gonna cut a few slices for the kids to munch on the way.”

“Then they can get their own.” Steve grumbled a little, but he grabbed a plate none the less.

“Oh yeah, where from?” Katie asked, her hands on her hips.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Steve muttered as he cut himself a huge slice of the coveted pie. He ladled a generous amount of vanilla ice cream on top then carried it over to the breakfast bar, sitting down as Katie gathered the rest of the food items she had said she would bring which included a huge dish of Mac and Cheese that she’d coloured green with food colouring, spaghetti and meatballs that were supposed to be worms,  cinnamon and apple cookies in the shape of pumpkins and a batch of home-made raspberry and cherry gin which had been done using the raspberries and cherries from the brambles and trees in their small orchard at the bottom of the garden. She began packing it all into a hamper as Steve took the first bit of his pie and gave another groan.

“You know,” he swallowed, waving his fork at her as he gave her a playful grin, “I think this pie is actually better than sex.”

Katie looked at him, arching her eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“It’s a very close call.” He nodded.

“Well maybe I should make you a pie once a week instead of letting you get me on my back.” Katie looked at him, closing the lid on the basket and pushing it to one side, leaning over the breakfast bar.

“Okay, first off we have sex way more than once a week,” Steve pointed his fork at her, “and second-“ his eyes glinted cheekily “-you’re not always on your back.”

“True.” Katie pursed her lips and reached for his fork, snatching it from his hand, “but if you think I’m baking a pie more than once a week you’ve got another thing coming.” She used the fork to take a piece of the sweet treat along with a large blob of ice cream and shoved it in her mouth, closing her eyes. She moaned a little, ensuring that the noise that left her throat was as sinful as she could make it, before she opened her eyes and used her thumb to wipe at a little trickle of ice cream in the corner of her mouth. With her eyes locked on Steve she sucked her thumb clean and smirked a little at the familiar glint of dark in his eyes that he always got when he was turned on.

“You’re lucky you’re the other side of the breakfast bar.” He leaned forward a little, elbows resting on the marble surface, his voice a low timbre that sent those familiar sparks up Katie’s spine.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Katie asked innocently, ignoring the sudden flutter she’d felt between her legs at his tone.

“Because if you weren’t you be in my lap right now testing my theory.”

“Shame.” She nodded, looking around. “I mean it’s not like you could reach and drag me over it or anything.”

“Well I could,”  Steve agreed, “but there’s a piece of pie in the way. And it’s too good to waste.”

“You’re a jerk!” Katie shook her head as Steve laughed, before he leaned back in the stool and patted his right thigh.

“C’mere pretty girl.”

Katie grinned, the sound of him calling her pretty girl always did things to her, as did the soft instruction to ‘come here’ in his Brooklyn accent. She rounded the bar and he reached out, easily pulling her onto his lap so she was perched sideways, legs hanging over the side of his right thigh as he curled his left arm around her waist, right gently resting on her thigh. Katie’s right arm slid round his neck and he titled his face to look at her.

“Just for the record you taste far better than any pie you make.” He grinned and Katie’s mouth fell open at his dirty comment.

“Steven Grant Rogers!” She snorted, slapping his shoulder slightly and he laughed, his hand on her thigh tightening its grip slightly, fingers curling round the toned muscles which were evident once more due to Katie having started training again. Steve actually kind of missed the softness that she’d had since having Jamie but he was damned if he was going to tell her that. He leaned towards her slightly, his nose bumping hers a little as she gently trailed her hand over the nape of his neck, nails scratching just below his hair line above the collar of his black sweater.

“Love you.” He muttered gently, his lips brushing hers and she smiled, her fingers tanging in the hair at the back of his head.

“More than apple pie?”

“Infinitely Mrs Rogers.”

“More than Mac and Cheese?”

Steve hesitated and Katie scoffed.

“For the record I love you more than anything.” Steve chuckled, pressing his lips to hers. “Well, apart from the kids.”

“I’ll accept that exception.” Katie chuckled, her mouth finding his again. The kiss deepened, Katie letting out a soft sigh as his tongue brushed against hers, tasting the apple pie and Ice Cream he had been eating before. Steve’s hand skated up the outside of her thigh coming to rest on her hip, finger tips brushing the strip of skin where her top had ridden up slightly as her own hand fisted slightly in his hair. Completely lost in one another they almost missed the little footsteps coming down the stairs and the giggles in the hallway.

Almost.

Steve pulled back, looking at Katie who grinned. “Play your cards right we can finish this later.”

“At Tony’s?”

“Won’t be the first time we fucked in his spare room.”

Steve snorted at her and patted her ass as she hopped off his lap.

“Mom, Dad!” Emmy called. “We’re ready!”

“We heard!” Katie called back as Steve stood up, grabbing his plate of pie. He took another bite before he wandered into the hallway where he collided with Katie who had stopped dead just outside the door. Frowning he looked up and felt his heart jump.

A clown.

His 2 year old son was dressed as a fucking clown.

And not just any clown, which would have been bad enough, but that bastard clown from IT. The film he refused time and time again to watch because of said bastard clown, which was now stood on the bottom step of the stairs holding a red balloon.

And suddenly, all he could see was that damned clown at Coney Island chasing him through the stalls, Bucky’s laughter echoing in his ears, and then that fucking mirror maze where he’d had the panic attack as he was surrounded by them.

The plate holding his precious pie slipped from his hand and dropped to the tiled floor, where it broke into 3 pieces, its contents splattering all over the grey slate.

“Woah, Dad, didn’t think it would be that scary!” Emmy grinned from behind Jamie as she stood in her outfit, which was a superb replica of the Wicked Witch of the West complete with full green face-paint and a broomstick.

Katie looked over her shoulder at Steve and she could see from his face that he was really struggling to keep it together. Trying not to laugh at the expression of sheer horror on his handsome features, she clamped her lips together and turned to Emmy.

“Your dad’s…” she took a deep breath, trying not to laugh “He’s scared of clowns.”

“Oh…” Emmy frowned “Uncle Tony said he would love it.”

“I bet he did.” Steve bit out a little harshly and Emmy looked at him.

“Are you mad?” She asked and seeing the look on her face Steve inwardly cursed his phobia and his damned brother in law.

“No, honey,” he shook his head, “not at all…you both look…” he trailed off.

“Daddy, look!” Jamie grinned, and he jumped off the bottom step. “Balloon!”

He toddled over towards Steve who automatically took a few steps back and Jamie stopped in front of him, right by Katie’s side, a confused expression crossing his painted face. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, pal…I gotta…” Steve exhaled “I gotta put some stuff in the car so we can to go to Uncle Nee’s okay?”

“Kay…” Jamie said a little quietly.

Katie watched, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter as Steve went to move round Jamie, turning sideways so he could keep his eyes on him, before he pushed past Emmy and bolted up the stairs taking them three at a time.

The hallway was silent bar the sounds Lucky was making as he cleaned up the remnants of the pie on the floor, not wanting to miss a single crumb of his human food treasure.

“Em, why don’t you two take Lucky and go get in the car, we’ll be out in a little moment.” Katie smiled at her.

“Okay. Come on Jay!” Em grabbed his hand but Jamie, clearly now finding the reaction his dad had amusing, turned to his mom and made a little growling noise at her. Katie gave a fake scream and jolted back, causing Jamie to cackle a little, tilting his head back in mirth before allowed Emmy to lead him away.

As soon as they were out of sight and earshot Katie started to laugh. She laughed so hard that she had to retreat to the kitchen to sit at a chair. She doubled over, clutching at her stomach, trying to gather her breath as the tears poured down her face. Try as she might, she couldn’t get the image of Steve fighting the urge to punt his own son into another room out of her head.

Eventually she managed to sort herself out enough to grab her phone and swiped over to the number she wanted.

“Hey, Kiddo.”  Tony greeted

“Tony, you…” she started to laugh again “You better be able to run fast because Steve…he’s…”

Tony chuckled. “He liked the costume then?”

“Tony he freaked, like, seriously. Poor Steve. I expected some form of full Captain America outfit, not that!”

“Well, on this occasion the Spangles just weren’t enough”

“You’re a little shit, you know that?”

“It’s been said.” He conceded. “Did you get it on video?”

“No.” Katie sighed “I was going to but when I saw Pennywise on my damned stairs I knew what was gonna happen so…”

“Shame.We could have played that back later. For science.”

At that point Katie looked up as Steve walked into the kitchen, glancing round.

“He’s not in here…” She chuckled and Steve glared at her, before he gestured to the phone.

“That Tony?”

She nodded.

He reached out and snatched the phone off her. “You’re a dead man,” he growled down the handset, and Katie could hear her brother’s roar of laughter before Steve hung up and tossed the phone down onto the table.

“Calm down!” Katie laughed, standing up. “Steve, it’s just a costume.”

“Katie, they freak me the hell out!” he shook his head “You don’t…” his hands dropped to his hips and his head dropped. “Did you see his face when I backed away?”

“Oh, he’s fine!” Katie rubbed Steve’s arms. “He couldn’t care less.” Steve took a deep breath and she looked at him. “Do you want me to get him to change?”

Steve shook his head “No, he was so pleased with himself…plus, I don’t fancy that particular tantrum now do you?”

“Not really no.”

Steve shrugged “Then I guess I’m stuck with it. Come on, let’s get gone. Sooner we get there the sooner I can carry out my threat to kill your asshole brother.”

Steve grabbed the food hamper and headed out to the car with it, settling it onto the trunk of the car as Katie got into the passenger side. Once Steve finished his usual checks to ensure the door was locked, he climbed into the driver’s seat ant they set off.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah buddy?” Steve asked, glancing in the mirror automatically and once more was confronted by that fucking clown. He swallowed and turned his eyes to the front.

“No scared, daddy. I not a real clown.”

Katie chuckled as Steve pulled out of the drive onto the road. “I know pal, but it’s Halloween. Everyone gets scared at some point.”

Jamie nodded, accepting his answer and turned to look out of the window. As they approached a junction, Steve checked the mirror again and then sighed, shaking his head.

“You’re gonna hafta drive.” He looked at Katie.

“What?”

“I can’t do it.” He shrugged “Every time I check the mirror, all I can see is…”

“Are you being serious?” Katie looked at him.

“Absolutely.” Steve unclipped the seatbelt and climbed out of the car.

And right then Katie vowed that if Steve didn’t kill Tony, she was gonna.

****

December 2022

“Did he go down alright?”

Steve dropped onto the couch, picking up one of the super strength beers Thor had send him as part of a pre- Christmas testing package, lifting his arm up so Katie could settle into him.

“Very well, actually,” he narrowed his eyes taking a pull of his beer, “almost suspiciously so.”

Katie chuckled as she replaced her glass and dropped her head to Steve’s shoulder as she pressed play on the remote. The two of them simply stayed like that, the odd movement and hands stroking shoulders, thighs or knees as usual, comfortable in their own little world, the light of the fire and twinkling of the Christmas lights giving the room a cosy, comfy ambience. They were about thirty minutes into the film when, Katie felt Steve’s head move off the top of hers and she glanced at him and saw the beginnings of a smile forming on his face.

“What?”

He looked down at her. “You know,” he said, a light in his eyes that she knew all too well, “It’s Friday, Emmy’s out, Jamie’s in bed…” Steve trailed off and raised an eyebrow at his wife. She grinned too, mirroring his expression.

“I like where this is going,” she smirked and within seconds, her legs had been pulled from underneath her drawing a giggle from her lips as she lay flat on the sofa, Steve hovering over her. Katie wrapped her arms around his neck as their lips met, and she was just beginning to thread her fingers through his hair when they both heard a shout.

“Heeeeeyyyyy!”

Steve dropped his head and groaned. “I’ll go.”

He placed one last kiss on her lips before he stood up off the couch and headed into the hall way.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” he said as he headed up the stairs, seeing Jamie stood in his doorway at the baby gate.

“No sleep.” Jamie’s response was a whine.

“Not an option pal” Steve shook his head, a hint of amusement in his voice. “You know Santa won’t come if you don’t.”

“Can’t sleep.” Jamie tried again, and Steve had to bite back the smile that was about to cross his face. His son had certainly inherited his, and his wife’s for that matter, tenacity.

“Did you even try?”

There was a pause and Jamie furiously nodded his head in a blatant lie.

“Sure you did.” Steve rolled his eyes “Well what do you think would help you sleep?”

“Story, daddy!”

At those words a smile spread across Steve’s face. Over the last six months, Jamie had taken a real interest in the tales he told him, so much so that they had swapped night time readings of chapters from books for Steve’s real life stories, most of them being pulled straight from the streets of Brooklyn or Manhattan during Steve’s own childhood or adulthood pre-serum. 

“One more.” Steve caved and Jamie shrieked with delight. “But!” he continued in a warning tone, “You have to be quiet.”

Jamie stilled immediately and clapped his little hands over his mouth before he turned and ran, diving back on his bed. Steve chuckled and made his into Jamie’s room, as the two year old climbed under his Iron Man Duvet cover (Thank you Tony for that one…) and peered up at Steve as he settled down next to him, his son setting under his arm, snuggling into the crook of his arm against his chest.

“Did I ever tell you about the time that I went to the theatre-”

Katie didn’t wait for Steve to come back down, she knew full well that he would have been coerced into one more story. Their son had his dad wrapped around his little finger, and Steve at times found it simply impossible to say no. She glanced up at the clock, noting that it was almost nine… they could watch the film in bed. She turned the TV and tree lights off, she took the empty glass and bottle into the kitchen, let Lucky out for a pee whilst she made sure all the doors were locked before letting the now slightly older and slower dog back in.

“You staying here tonight, Luck?” She asked, and the dog yawned, stretching as he rolled onto his back in the dog basket which was placed in the hallway under the stairs. “Take that as a yes then.” She scratched behind his ears before standing up and creeping up the stairs to the door of her son’s room, which was open enough for her to peek through.

She loved Steve’s stories almost as much as Jamie did, if not for the same reasons. Jamie loved their action and adventure, often joining in with his own loud whoops and laughs, but Katie simply loved listening to Steve’s voice as he narrated. His tone would change from low and dramatic to loud and comical, and Katie found it simply adorable. A pure, unadulterated moment of love between father and son that made her heart swell every single time she watched or overheard.

“And then, all of a sudden this man appeared, in the alley way. And I didn’t have anything to protect myself with. So I picked up a trash can lid, and held it right here, like a shield.” Steve drew his arm across his chest. “Like Cap?” Jamie said, thrusting his Captain America bear at his dad.

“Just like Cap, yeah, Buddy.” Katie smiled to herself, Jamie was still too young to really understand about their history with the Avengers. He knew about who the Avengers were, well what he could grasp being so young, thanks mainly to Tony and Natasha, but he had no idea about his dad’s alter ego. And for now, it wasn’t important, they were just a normal family and long may it stay like that.

Katie watched as Steve continued to talk as he sat up on Jamie’s bed, his back against the headboard as his mini-me, led besides him, looking up at his father, eyes wide and full of adoration. These were the moments that brought out all of Steve’s best characteristics, and Katie simply loved him all the more for it. Smiling to herself she headed into their bedroom and tossed her clothes aside before she stepped into the shower in their en-suite.

Steve could read his son’s body language like a book, and about ten minutes after his super hearing heard Katie leaving where she had been stood outside the room listening, he could feel the little boy starting to droop slightly, one small hand fisted into Steve’s white t-shirt, the other was in front of his small face, thumb in his mouth as his index finger gently rubbed against that Stark nose. A few moments later he glanced down and in the dim glow of the dinosaur night light, he saw his son was fast asleep. Gently, he moved and stepped off the bed, tucking the duvet up under Jamie’s chin before he stooped, dropping a kiss onto his head, his hand gently caressing the shock of blonde hair. With a last look back he closed the door to, leaving it open just a chink, and headed into their room.

Katie was just emerging from the en-suite wearing a bathrobe, long hair piled up on her head.

“He has you wrapped around his finger.” She grinned, sliding her hands up her husband’s chest.

“Oh, and you don’t?” He muttered, hands connecting at the bottom of her spine.

“You gonna read me a bed time story then, Captain?”

“I got a better way of getting you to sleep.” He murmured, dropping his lips to hers, and she grinned as he backed her towards the bed. “There’s only one problem.” “Oh yeah?” She asked, as his arms pulled her closer, his lips trailed down her neck, mopping up the speckles of water from the shower that remained.

“Yeah, this is in the way.”

He softly kissed at that spot beneath her ear, his hand dropping to the belt of her robe. She grinned as he pulled at the tie and gently shrugged the robe off Katie’s shoulders, allowing it to drop to the floor as his lips claimed hers again. He wrapped an arm round her back, tugging her onto her toes so he could take a nipple in his mouth and she let out a groan as she looked downwards, moving her hands to undo the chords on his sweat pants.

“Off.” She muttered, pulling at the bottom of his t-shirt. He released her temporarily so she could slide it up, before he pivoted and dropped them both onto the bed, trapping her in between his hands and legs.

A familiar warmth exploded along her lower abdomen as he kissed her, one hand on the side of her face, the other sliding to her hip and across her stomach, making its way slowly between her legs. She arched her back and groaned as he slipped two fingers inside her, feeling him smirk against her neck.

“Fucking drenched aren’t you, Sweetheart?”

She let out another groan at his words. “Only for you.” A low growl rolled in the back of his throat as he slammed his mouth onto hers, shucking off his sweats as he began to kiss her chest, then stomach, before going down her legs.  He set his mouth to her, lapping at her, her sweet, salty tang, so familiar yet so delectable, and as he worked her, it was all she could do to mewl softly, and grip one hand in his hair as she writhed at his touch. His tongue flicked strongly and he sucked at her clit gently, before upping the pace as she whimpered, trying so hard to keep her noise down. Steve continued to tease and nibble and when he took her swollen clit between his lips again Katie let out a silent scream as her orgasm hit her hard, causing her knees to turn inwards, squeezing around his head, involuntarily. She fell back against the pillows with a sigh of satisfaction and looked down as Steve crawled back up her body, leaning forward, placing his hands on either side of her head.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” He whispered, making her grin before he crashed his lips onto hers, the sudden action drawing a small grunt from her mouth. She reached down taking him in her hand and he took in a sharp breath as he pulled away from her mouth, sliding his fingers down her legs. He moved her legs apart and pushed into her, a low sigh of satisfaction leaving both their lips before he began to move, burying his face into her neck, nipping at the spot under her ear gently. She keened underneath him as he grew more urgent with his thrusts, her eyes locking onto his as he gripped her hands at either side of her head, leaning back down to kiss her fervently. He was hard, fast, desperate for hris release and she met each of his thrusts fervently with her own hips happy to give herself to him. 

“So good,” He praised in a low voice, dragging his face against her hair before he looked at her. “I’m close, tell me you are…”

Katie responded with a moan, “Stevie.” and then her legs shook and she came again, closing her eyes as she tightened around him, burying her face into his neck to stifle her noises as the spasms came involuntarily around him again and again.

“Oh, fuck, Doll.” he stuttered, biting his lower lip as his eyes fluttered closed before his rhythm stilled and he let out a soft groan as he came, the utter bliss consuming him fully. He fell forward, head dropping into the hollow of his wife’s neck to catch his breath, his body slumped on top of hers, his familiar weight pressed her into the mattress as they both came down from their high. Katie ran her fingers through his hair, pressing soft kisses along his shoulder as her nails gently scratched at his scalp, causing Steve to hum out a soft sigh of contentment as he lay still, enjoying her touch.

“Stevie?” she muttered.

“Yeah?” “How long do you think we have before Jamie realises he can climb the baby gates now?”

“I’m amazed he hasn’t already.” Steve leaned up on his elbows to look down at his wife “Why?”

“Because I think we might need to invest in a lock for our door.” she grinned “For when you’re reading your baby momma her bedtime story.”

*****

Chapter 49

 **Original Posting 1 2 3**

[willykoike]

Welcome to the future

For my first post here, I would like to remember one of my first experiences on the internet. Back to 2000-2002  (Yes, I'm old, ok? You can find grey hairs on my beard), when the internet was dialed, I remember surfing on loads of bloggers, most of the time, about my idols, in an international reference, we can say, Westlife. Hmmm, no judgments here, ok? Everybody has their own guilty pleasures. Leave me alone with mine. LOL And also, at that time, all bloggers used to have personalized backgrounds. The heads and footers used to be covered by their favorite artist, or tv series, films, or Japanese animes. Anyway, all the layout was thematic. And I wanted the very same thing. Why not? That's how I learned photoshop that time. I wanted to have a banner, a signature personalized with my idol's images. So, then I did it. Was it good? Definitely not, but it was my first contact with layers, with transparency, fonts, cutting imagens and backgrounds. The introduction of how to do everything by yourself in life, also known as Youtube, still didn't exist to help me out. I had to figure it out on my own. But then, even though my terrible design was ready, I didn't know how to apply it on my page. How? How could I make a Jpeg image show up on an online page? No idea. So, loads of other bloggers, made by designers, used to put available some free templates and sell others more complex. I used to download them and read a lot of information on how to change the html in order to use my pictures or add a bit of my style. Did I succeed? No… unfortunately, not. So, I've never been the 15 years old blogger that I intended to be. Probably the Internet didn't miss that much though. 

Now, here I’m, almost 20 years later, and learning html, the code that, basically, started with the internet and it's still used in most websites on the Internet. It's kind of ironic and interesting at the same time. But one thing I say, I'm already able to edit  templates and set up with my Westlife design. Can I get an Amen over here?! Hehe =D

All this introduction is to say that I was reading a post from Adactio blog, saying that today, 2022 is the distant future. That's all because back to 2008, even some years after my failed experience with blogspot, an editor of the HTML5 at the WHATWG at the time, Ian Hickson, in an interview with Hixie, mentioned the date 2022 as the milestone for having two completely interoperable implementations.

And now, we can see that nothing has changed much in this aspect. And I’m having the opportunity to understand the same technology that I tried 20 years ago in my life. It's kind of funny to think how some things change drastically and others no so much, probably, because useful and functional things should come to stay and just get improved, as it seems to be html. According to the Adactio post many specialists made some predictions based on this 13-14 years ahead, which would be now, 2022. Some of them didn't even believe that the web would still exist. Others were quite accurate when they visualized most people accessing everything on a smartphone, but the most relevant observation might be from a random reader of the blog in 2009, Jonny Axelsoon, who said: “The world in 2022 will be pretty much like the world in 2009.” Well, in terms of web, and html he was right. In other aspects, like people's minds, he was a bit wrong, hopefully, I guess. But, 2022 ideas, morals, concepts, will have to be for another post. It's way too wide to approach here and I might not have psychological enough for that. As I just said on the title of this blog “If you look at it too closely, no one is actually normal”.  

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

micah (Micah Cohen, politics editor): Hey, everybody! It’s Slack chat time!

We’re in the middle of another media cycle involving questions about the positioning of congressional Republicans vis-a-vis Trump. Basically, after his press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin, people are asking why the GOP doesn’t do more to restrain Trump. So … here’s the question for today:

If you’re an elected Republican serving in Congress, is the Trump presidency worth it to you? You get wins on policy right now but you’re staring down likely losses in 2018 and maybe beyond. OR would you rather we have a President Hillary Clinton right now? You’re presumably not getting the policy outcomes you want but would likely be looking forward to gains in 2018 and perhaps 2020.

(We’re also asking this from the Democrats’ POV, but let’s start with Republicans.)

FWIW, I’ve gone back and forth on this in my head since we decided on this topic yesterday. At first I thought the answer was obvious. Now …

nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): I would rather have a President Hillary Clinton.

natesilver (Nate Silver, editor in chief): #actually

clare.malone (Clare Malone, senior political writer): I’d rather have Trump.

natesilver: I don’t have enough information to answer the question.

micah: OMG

natesilver: Am I in a swing district?

micah: You’re the collective congressional GOP.

clare.malone: Hmm.

Now I’m waffling.

micah: So, my first thought was that the answer was OBVIOUSLY Trump.

natesilver: Just to complicate things … for me, the answer to this question is narrower if you’re asking me as a member of Congress as opposed to, say, a Democratic or Republican voter.

clare.malone: It depends on what you think the ultimate goal of Congress is.

To get elected again, to live another day?

Or, to accomplish something ideological?

natesilver: If you’re a member of Congress, you’re probably very concerned about re-election. And clearly you have much safer chances of re-election as a swing-seat Republican under Clinton than under Trump.

clare.malone: So. What’s the ultimate goal of a party’s caucus in Congress?

micah: OK, if it’s ideological/policy, it’s 100 percent Trump, right? The Supreme Court alone suggests that. Or, look at Trump’s effect on the judiciary more generally:

clare.malone: Right.

But if it’s about getting re-elected, then they want Clinton.

So I guess I don’t know the answer because I don’t know the goal of the Republican congressional caucus.

nrakich: You guys aren’t looking at the big picture! It’s not just Congress. State governments are important too — maybe even more important than the federal government, since it’s where much of the policy that affects people’s lives is made.

As you’ve written, Clare, the Obama years really weren’t too shabby for Republicans. They earned a stranglehold on 26 state-government trifectas (full control of the governorship and state legislature) and have used them to pass stricter laws on abortion, labor, etc. than they would have in Congress.

And if we’re focusing on Congress, that state government control is going to let the GOP continue to draw congressional district lines in 2021 unless something changes.

The Trump presidency threatens to effect that change.

natesilver: Can I ask for a redirect, Micah? Maybe we should be saying, “Are Republicans better off with Trump than with Clinton?”

And obviously there are a lot of subheadings under “Republican.”

micah: Yeah, but I don’t want to pick one subheading because then the answer is obvious.

Let’s disentangle all the subheadings!

natesilver: Ezra Klein argued recently that it was obvious that Republicans had made a good bet to stand behind Trump in 2016, because it had paid off with the SCOTUS picks. But I think it’s way too early to conclude that.

nrakich: I agree.

micah: This is actually kinda making my brain hurt …

I think Ezra is right …

natesilver: CONTRARIAN NATE SAYS RAWWWWWR

micah: In the short term, it’s paid off huge. And likely in the long term with the Supreme Court.

But if Trump sparks a wave of progressive activism — that’s obviously bad for the GOP.

But but politics always goes in cycles — back and forth, back and forth. From Clare’s piece:

So if your argument is that a backlash makes winning not worth it, then winning would never be worth it.

clare.malone: Why is it too early to conclude that, Nate? Because he might fuck up the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation?

natesilver: Because what if Republicans lose elections for the next 20 years as a result of a backlash to Trump? And, also, the public turns against every policy Trump once liked? ICE is abolished and single-payer medicine is established.

nrakich: That ^^

I also think Supreme Court picks are overrated. In the long run, they balance out — the next Democratic president will probably get a couple too. And it’s unpredictable what a justice does once he or she joins the court. Plenty of Republican-appointed justices have turned more liberal over the years.

micah: If there’s a backlash to Trump, eventually there will be a backlash to that backlash, no?

nrakich: If I were congressional Republicans/Republican voters/Republican squirrels/whatever, I would also be worried about Trump’s long-term effect on Hispanic voters.

clare.malone: I don’t know if I agree on that Supreme Court point, Nathaniel. This conservative majority could be a pretty powerful influence on judicial policy for decades. But yes, I do think it’s right to look at how growing demographic groups react to a political party.

But what are our parameters now?

micah: Republican squirrels.

clare.malone: jek;atw’ljrt

micah: Inequality these days is nuts.

nrakich:

(Yes, I know that’s a chipmunk)

natesilver: Here’s how I’d put it: There is almost always a backlash, which the party pays in the form of (1) tending to lose seats in Congress, and (1b) in state government and (2) some degree of thermostatic movement of public opinion against them, e.g. the public actually becomes more liberal when conservatives have been in power for a while and vice versa.

Those are BIG consequences so the question is — how much do you get out of it?

micah: A lot. I hate to keep going back to the Supreme Court, but …

nrakich: Probably not as much as they’d be able to with a different Republican president.

Marco Rubio could still win the primary, guys.

micah: #2020

natesilver: Hmm. So far, the GOP has gotten (i) a tax bill; (ii) 2 Supreme Court picks; (iii) lots of aggressive enforcement actions on immigration; (iv) lots of actions to sabotage Obamacare; (v) lots of … eccentric foreign policy behavior that they might not like; (vi) a trade war that they probably don’t want.

clare.malone: So they got three things they wanted, on average (if you say they wanted half measures on a couple things Trump went full throttle on).

That’s not so bad.

nrakich: But they also got some not-so-great stuff, even on policy.

micah: If you think Trump has been a mixed bag in terms of delivering on policy and ideological goals, then the answer is clearly President Clinton?

nrakich: Right.

micah: IDK, I can’t get past SCOTUS.

natesilver: I’m not saying it’s nothing. It’s quite a bit! But part of it is that they aren’t necessarily likely to get a whole lot more — or at least not a lot more of the stuff they like.

Democrats may or may not win a chamber of Congress — but even if they don’t, the GOP majorities are likely to be reduced down to a bare minimum.

micah: Republicans control all three branches of government, most states, etc. — I’m just very resistant to any argument that they’d rather the world look any other way than it currently does.

nrakich: I do think this question is incomplete without knowing how 2018 turns out.

natesilver: And 2020.

micah: Guys.

natesilver: And 2022.

micah: You are all basically saying, “We can’t answer this question until it’s answered for us.”

natesilver: I’M NOT THE ONE WHO ASKED THE QUESTION, MICAH!

micah: You agreed to the topic!

clare.malone: I’m stressssssed.

nrakich: I’m so sorry, guys. (I was the one who had the idea for this Slack chat topic, dear reader.)

clare.malone: lol, it’s fine. But now I know Rakich is a chaos monkey.

nrakich: Chaos squirrel.

clare.malone: I mean muppet.

natesilver: Let’s take what’s maybe an easier case. Let’s say Republicans lose in a wave election in November — they lose, say, 45 House seats, plus lose the Senate. Then Trump also loses in 2020 and they lose another 5 Senate seats or so.

Is it worth it then?

micah: I think the answer to that question is … yes.

natesilver: Yeah, I think that’s wrong, Micah.

clare.malone: Yeah, that would be bad.

The Senate loss is a little far out, though.

natesilver: Democrats will just undo the GOP’s tax policy.

nrakich: Micah, you think Republicans would take a teensy list of policy priorities in exchange for undoing all the electoral progress they’ve made for the last eight years?

micah: First, I don’t think it’s a given that the Democrats reverse that tax bill.

Second, I think that GOP progress was always fleeting, Nathaniel. See thermostatic point above.

You’re basically telling me that we return to a 2009ish-type government, but that the Supreme Court is conservative for at least a generation or so.

If I’m subscribing to the false idea that these elected officials and their voters want to win elections to achieve policy/ideological outcomes — which I am for this convo even though it’s not really right — then that last conservative majority on the Supreme Court is incredibly valuable because it’s really the only branch of government that doesn’t sorta inherently swing back and forth.

Control of the White House and Congress is always temporary, so I’m not super fussed about losing the gains I’ve made.

nrakich: But the alternative under President Clinton is that you lock in Republican control of the House for probably 10 more years and the Senate for perhaps a generation.

micah: I don’t think we know that.

natesilver: Are you reading too many liberal hot takes about the Supreme Court? The Supreme Court has already been conservative for many years. What would give the Democrats the best chance to make it not conservative is to have a majority of senators *and* the presidency.

micah: I haven’t been reading any takes — I just got back from vacation.

Now it’ll be MORE conservative!

natesilver: Would Clinton have gotten her justice appointed in a 52-48 Republican Senate?

micah: Probably not?

clare.malone: A more moderate one, yes.

micah: Wouldn’t she have nominated Merrick Garland?

clare.malone: Maybe, but maybe not.

micah: I have a hard time imagining Republicans confirming any Clinton nominee.

clare.malone: Clinton was never going to be able to nominate a Ginsburg type from the start.

natesilver: In FiveThirtyEight canon, she would have gotten Garland appointed on Earth 2, but in exchange for a bunch of Republicans being appointed to the cabinet.

But here’s the thing. With Trump in power, Democrats are probably going to end up with somewhere between 47-52 Senate seats after this year. Obviously a reasonably wide range there and I think they’re underdogs to take the Senate, although it’s competitive.

By comparison, though, if Clinton were president, where would Democrats end up? I haven’t done the math in detail, but I’d guess somewhere in the range of like 39-45 senators. They’d be in a lot of trouble, as Nathaniel said.

And they wouldn’t have had Doug Jones win that race in Alabama (in part because there would have been nothing to appoint Jeff Sessions to.)

nrakich: Yeah, in the Senate, Democrats are way overexposed in 2018 — a bad cycle for them could lead to the loss of 8+ Senate seats. There are 31 red states and 19 blue states in the U.S. — that means that the GOP “should” have 62 senators. If that scenario comes to pass, partisan gravity is going to make it very hard for Democrats to get back to a majority until party coalitions change, which can take decades.

natesilver: If you’re down to, say, 42 senators, you’re going to have a lot of trouble getting a liberal Supreme Court nominee for the foreseeable future, no matter who is president.

micah: OK, so yeah, let’s take this full on from the Democrats’ perspective: Would you rather have a President Clinton?

clare.malone: I think yes, you’d rather have Clinton. micah: Couldn’t Clinton have locked in a moderate court, though?

clare.malone: Not necessarily, Micah.

nrakich: I’ve been an electoral hipster on this topic for a while. Back in 2015, I wrote a semi-tongue-in-cheek article arguing that Democrats should cede the 2016 election to Republicans because Democrats need to rebuild their bench on the state level.

I mean, this is all hypothetical. But under a President Clinton, Republicans would win most of the governorships and state legislatures this year and in 2020. That would allow them to draw Republican-friendly House maps for all of the 2020s.

clare.malone: What if she wins two terms and Ginsburg retires when Democrats are in a better place in the Senate?

nrakich: It’s very hard for a party to hold the White House for four consecutive terms.

natesilver: There’s probably no universe in which Democrats would ever have had both a Senate majority and a President Hillary Clinton.

She’d have started out at 48, lost a bunch this year.

Then maybe you gain a couple back in 2020, which isn’t a bad map for Democrats.

But then you’re back in 2022 and midterms don’t usually go well for the president’s party.

nrakich: What do we think Clinton’s approval numbers would look like if she had won? My guess is they’d be pretty close to Trump’s right now. She’d have no policy wins to show off (since Republicans would control Congress), and those Republicans in Congress would be stirring the pot over her emails and other stuff, presumably.

micah: My first thought on this was … If you’re a progressive, and you care about an equitable society, the environment, health outcomes, etc. — I’m not sure there’s any argument that you’d prefer President Trump to President Clinton.

The only counter to that is if Trump sparks a generational counterswing — in which the next 5-8 years are bad for you, but the next 30 are good as a result.

natesilver: But presidencies always spark a backlash. That’s a given, or at least pretty close to it. The questions are (i) how soon the backlash comes, (ii) how big it is, and (iii) what Republicans accomplish before the backlash.

micah: That’s my point, Nate. I think it’s only “worth it” for Democrats if the backlash is historically huge.

natesilver: See, I disagree, because I think Trump’s accomplishments have been on the modest side.

clare.malone: One good thing for Democrats under Trump is the new bench that they seem to be developing.

natesilver: I mean, the party was sort of running on fumes.

clare.malone: In the long run, improving their prospects on the state level might serve them well. I’m not sure that would have happened under Clinton. They might have continued to paper over the state losses under Obama.

nrakich: Exactly, Clare. After a President Clinton, what would have come next? They’d be out of gas, and then you’d have a President Trump (or similar) in 2020/2024 anyway, plus you’d have missed your window to affect redistricting.

natesilver: Although — one thing we’re neglecting to mention here is that there’s a lot of damage Trump could do, e.g. to America’s international image, that isn’t really a *partisan* concern per se.

micah: That’s what I was typing!

It’s not just “accomplishments.”

It’s the whole Trump effect.

The illiberal stuff.

natesilver: But again, that, too, could spark a long-term backlash.

clare.malone: Yeah, the Trump reflection on the country in the eyes of the world is sort of a known unknown.

How much is it going to screw the country long term?

natesilver: And also, having a President Clinton (as Rakich was getting at) may have led to a Trump-type Republican getting elected in 2020, only with much bigger majorities in Congress.

clare.malone: Other countries might not trust our word on international treaties we want to make, etc., etc.

nrakich: America’s image bounced back pretty well from the Bush years, right? Although I think this is another level than that.

clare.malone: I dunno re Bush.

micah: Yeah, opinion of the U.S. (and the American president) shot up after Bush — and has dropped back down under Trump:

natesilver: Yeah, I don’t think this is comparable to Bush.

micah: OK, what if Trump leaves America 20 percent less democratic (small d)?

natesilver: Although, I also wonder if our allies sort of recognize that Trump’s an outlier instead of the permanent state of affairs.

nrakich: True, but I also wonder if he confirms what they secretly thought about the U.S.

clare.malone: Why would they not assume that another Republican president would now take policy positions more like Trump’s because that’s what Republican voters want?

nrakich: But then again, European allies are also dealing with their own Trump-like, anti-immigrant, populist figures.

micah: Yeah, it would be a mistake to think of Trump as an outlier.

natesilver: What if Trump sparks a backlash to populism in Western Europe because people associate populism with Trump?

micah: I sorta buy that.

Well, no … I don’t.

natesilver: There’s already a little bit of evidence of that. Populist candidates generally underperformed their polls in Western Europe in 2017. Eastern/Central Europe is a different story, it’s very important to say.

micah: To start to wrap this up … clearly most congressional Republicans are still happy with the tradeoff, no? (To shift the convo from what we think to what they think.)

nrakich: … are they?

Not to be a broken record, but you keep hearing about how, off the record, lots of Republicans say they’re fed up with Trump.

natesilver: Given how many congressional Republicans retired, the prima-facie evidence might be “no.”

nrakich: I bet plenty of them would take a President Clinton right now so they could try over again in 2020 with Mike Pence or someone more palatable to them. Plus, congressional Republicans were good at being the opposition party under Obama. They could have kept going with that. It was once they started needing to govern (i.e., with health care) that they sorta fell apart.

micah: If that were true, wouldn’t they be more forcefully rebuking/restraining Trump?

clare.malone: Maybe they’re waiting for the midterms to be over.

nrakich: I don’t think they would be, because they’re afraid of getting Sanforded.

If they’re ever going to break with Trump publicly (barring a major Mueller development), it would be in the time between this year’s primaries and this year’s general election. So I guess it’s too early to tell.

natesilver: Micah, I don’t think that necessarily follows. One thing about being a Republican in Congress is that it’s politically hard to oppose Trump, even if you think he’s terrible for your party and the country in the long term. Maybe that’s why so many of them are retiring.

micah: That’s partly true, but I also think much of the media is projecting when they imagine all congressional Republicans hate Trump.

They didn’t all retire, after all.

natesilver: And you know what really wouldn’t be fun? Having the same dilemma if you’d lost control of Congress anyway, which is probably more likely than not this fall.

(Of course, this is a bit self-fulfilling; one reason the GOP is favored to lose the House is because of all the retirements.)

micah: OK, final thoughts?

nrakich: This is how I see it:

Under President Trump, Democrats have a good chance to win back the House in the short term and be competitive in it throughout the 2020s (because of redistricting). In the Senate, they will probably maintain their small deficit in the short term but remain competitive in the long term. State governments are likewise competitive again for a decade or so. In the Supreme Court, a conservative majority is achieved and lasts an indeterminate amount of time.

Under President Clinton, Republicans would have kept/augmented their House majorities this year and drawn district lines to make it very hard for Democrats to win the House again until 2032. In the Senate, they would blow Democrats into oblivion with the bad Senate map in 2018, and the Senate wouldn’t be competitive again for several years either. In the states, Republicans likewise lock in control for another 10 years. And in the Supreme Court, Democrats get a liberal-to-moderate court for an indeterminate amount of time.

Your mileage may vary, quite a bit, for how to weight those. But I personally think the Clinton presidency one is the better scenario for Republicans, and the Trump presidency is the better scenario for Democrats.

I will now go collect my contrarian card at the front desk.

natesilver: I wouldn’t go that far. I mean — the default, certainly, is that you’d rather win the presidency than lose it. I do think, though, that it’s far from obvious that Republicans are better off with Trump and that people who think it’s obvious don’t have enough of a long-term view.

micah: I think it’s obvious.

[tocinephile]

The Morning After... 2021 Oscars Edition

Whether you liked it or hated it, at least last night's Oscars are worth talking about, which is more than I can say for any other award show this season. But there's no way to hate on Glenn Close doing "Da Butt" after telling Daniel Kaluuya he was too young to know Donna Summer trivia, now that's the mark you want to leave on Oscars history!

This year's award began in a beautiful garden party and then moved inside a train station for a cavernous yet intimate small audience feel. Largely live with overseas presenters (including the Brits gathered at BFI) broadcast with a quality signal with pros on site to make sure everyone was unmuted when they should be, and a few pre-recorded segments thrown in.

Hats off to Regina King for her stylish entrance during the classic movie opening credits, give her an award for walking all the way through Union Station in heels no less! Some people missed the comedic opening, but for all the years that those same skits/monologues incited criticisms and yawns, I think it was fine to skip the comedy for one year. Apparently it's also fine to skip the musical performances and film clips when announcing the nominees. Perhaps many will disagree, but I often take bio breaks leave the room during the song performances anyway, coupled with none of the songs making an impression on me this year, it made no difference to me.

Awards were also presented in a different order this year. By the middle of the show I was already seeing commentary about this in my Twitter but I actually thought things were going well until out of nowhere they start announcing the Best Picture nominees and I started to wonder if I'd left the room by mistake during the Best Actor/Actress awards. I haven't found any sources yet that confirm the reason for the change-up, I can only assume they were saving the Best Actor for last so we could all have an emotional cry over the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman. It turned out both the Best Actress and Best Actor awards were a bit of a surprise, we can now reconfirm our trust in PWC that NOBODY knows the winners ahead of time.

The Best Actress category hasn't had a clear frontrunner but I was personally rooting for Andra Day. I thought Viola Davis also had a good shot of winning. While Carey Mulligan's film was my favourite, I was really blown away by Day's performance. Plus I really wanted to see a BIPOC sweep in the acting categories and I think this was the year for the Oscars to do this right. Frances McDormand is always a force, but I think it was in Three Billboards that she outdid herself, and she was awarded for that. In Nomadland, she was merely 'great'.

Then came the final category of the night and we prepared for them to announce the Best Actor. I'm just going to be presumptuous and say most people were expecting Chadwick Boseman to win posthumously, but not only did they announce Anthony Hopkins name, he wasn't even in attendance/available on video conference to make a speech. The biggest night in Hollywood ended with "we accept this award on his behalf. Thank you and goodnight". I really don't think this is what Steven Soderbergh (and Stacey Sher and Jesse Collins) had in mind. I would have to agree that Hopkins really nailed his performance in The Father, and the film in general is quite an achievement (not only in acting, but in writing, editing, and set design) but I think had the producers known what would hapen, they would have stuck with the classic formula and ended things with Nomadland taking Best Picture. Sure, it would have been playing it safe, but hey, ain't nothing wrong with a classic Hollywood ending.

The acting categories were strong as always. I remarked to a friend prior to the awards, out of the films of the Actor nominees I saw Mank first and thought there was no way Gary Oldman could lose, but after seeing the rest of the films, I had changed my opinion to he didn't stand a chance. And of course there were my BIPOC (ok, every time I type this I think there should have been an Indigenous person nominated... Oscars 2022 are you listening??) acting sweep fantasies. If not Boseman, then maybe Riz Ahmed? Or Steven Yuen? To be up there with a statue alongside Youn Yuh Jung and Chloe Zhao cause "#OscarsSoAsian" has a nice ring to it.

Let's look a little closer at the winners by category:

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Riz Ahmed (“Sound of Metal”)

Chadwick Boseman (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)

Anthony Hopkins (“The Father”) (WINNER)

Gary Oldman (“Mank”)

Steven Yeun (“Minari”)

Since this was the last award, it’s forever remembered as “ruining” the Oscars. While it was not the ending we wanted (maybe it was the ending we deserved? j/k…) it’s important to note Sir Anthony Hopkins didn’t ruin the Oscars, the producers betting an entire award show finale on what they thought was a sure thing is what derailed the evening. What Hopkins did was give a phenomenal performance and subsequently became the oldest actor to be recognized in the category.

I did want Chadwick Boseman to win. I did want a teary emotional finish. I did want a person of colour to win the Oscar. But I also want millions of dollars and the ability to travel around the world right now, so, let’s keep our desires in check.

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Viola Davis (“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”)

Andra Day (“The United States v. Billie Holiday”)

Vanessa Kirby (“Pieces of a Woman”)

Frances McDormand (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)

Carey Mulligan (“Promising Young Woman”)

Oh how badly did I want Andra Day to win? How amazing did I think Viola Davis was? How much did I love Carey Mulligan’s film? (and sidenote: Does Vanessa Kirby know how to smile? Forget smiling, I don’t think I saw her expression change once during the show last night?) But you gotta respect Frances McDormand who didn’t care if she won, who doesn’t need to explain herself, and advocates for Karaoke Bars at award shows.

Best Picture

“The Father”

“Judas and the Black Messiah”

“Mank”

“Minari”

“Nomadland” (WINNER)

“Promising Young Woman”

“Sound of Metal”

“The Trial of the Chicago 7”

Someone on Twitter rightly pointed out… Best Picture is a good choice to hand out last because there’s always someone there to accept it. I’m all for Nomadland winning this, but wouldn’t it have been awesome if Promising Young Woman took it for the upset of the season?

Best Original Song

“Fight for You,” (“Judas and the Black Messiah”). Music by H.E.R. and Dernst Emile II; Lyric by H.E.R. and Tiara Thomas (WINNER)

“Hear My Voice,” (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”). Music by Daniel Pemberton; Lyric by Daniel Pemberton and Celeste Waite

“Húsavík,” (“Eurovision Song Contest”). Music and Lyric by Savan Kotecha, Fat Max Gsus and Rickard Göransson

“Io Si (Seen),” (“The Life Ahead”). Music by Diane Warren; Lyric by Diane Warren and Laura Pausini

“Speak Now,” (“One Night in Miami”). Music and Lyric by Leslie Odom, Jr. and Sam Ashworth

Best Original Score

“Da 5 Bloods,” Terence Blanchard

“Mank,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

“Minari,” Emile Mosseri

“News of the World,” James Newton Howard

“Soul,” Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Jon Batiste (WINNER)

I’ll never get used to seeing Trent Reznor as a multiple Oscar Winner/Nominee. (Spoken like a true Gen X-er)

Best Film Editing

“The Father,” Yorgos Lamprinos

“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao

“Promising Young Woman,” Frédéric Thoraval

“Sound of Metal,” Mikkel E.G. Nielsen (WINNER)

“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Alan Baumgarten

I’d read in some articles that whoever gets Editing also typically wins Sound and vice versa. Is that true? Has it always been true or is that recent? Wasn’t there recognition in Sound Editing and Sound Mixing until recent years? While Sound of Metal immediately stood out to me in Sound (I mean, would it have been truly successful if it didn’t?) I’m still not sure how it’s outstanding for its editing. The Father on the other hand, and even The Trial of the Chicago 7. I’d also like to note that David Fincher films also typically feature great editing, and so my impressions of Mank are correct and reconfirmed by its absence in this category.

Best Cinematography

“Judas and the Black Messiah,” Sean Bobbitt

“Mank,” Erik Messerschmidt (WINNER)

“News of the World,” Dariusz Wolski

“Nomadland,” Joshua James Richards

“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Phedon Papamichael

I’m hearing from both the Oscar Pools I was part of, that I was in the minority for calling this one correctly.

Best Production Design

“The Father.” Production Design: Peter Francis; Set Decoration: Cathy Featherstone

“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom.” Production Design: Mark Ricker; Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara and Diana Stoughton

“Mank.” Production Design: Donald Graham Burt; Set Decoration: Jan Pascale (WINNER)

“News of the World.” Production Design: David Crank; Set Decoration: Elizabeth Keenan

“Tenet.” Production Design: Nathan Crowley; Set Decoration: Kathy Lucas

There’s just something about old Hollywood isn’t there? I mean most creative should definitely be The Father, and outstanding is Ma Rainey, but this is Hollywood’s night, not unusual for them to celebrate themselves. For what it’s worth, I loved the Production Design in Mank. Also in all the personal tidbits they tried to share about the nominees, the only one I remember a day later is winner Jan Pascale's dream career trajectory for me... from puppeteer for Mr Rogers to set decorating for David Fincher! Talk about living your best life!

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Maria Bakalova (‘Borat Subsequent Moviefilm”)

Glenn Close (“Hillbilly Elegy”)

Olivia Colman (“The Father”)

Amanda Seyfried (“Mank”)

Yuh-Jung Youn (“Minari”) (WINNER)

This is going to come off unkind, but I never understood how Maria Bakalova made the cut once we stopped separating out Comedy and Drama categories. What can I say, I just didn’t get the appeal of the Borat sequel (I was lukewarm to first one too truth be told, but at least it was funnier)

Best Visual Effects

“Love and Monsters,” Matt Sloan, Genevieve Camilleri, Matt Everitt and Brian Cox

“The Midnight Sky,” Matthew Kasmir, Christopher Lawrence, Max Solomon and David Watkins

“Mulan,” Sean Faden, Anders Langlands, Seth Maury and Steve Ingram

“The One and Only Ivan,” Nick Davis, Greg Fisher, Ben Jones and Santiago Colomo Martinez

“Tenet,” Andrew Jackson, David Lee, Andrew Lockley and Scott Fisher (WINNER)

I haven’t looked too carefully at other smaller awards, but I feel there is a world of technical awards out there that Tenet deserves to win. I wonder if Tenet shouldn’t have gotten some recognition for Sound as well, alongside the sets, stunts, etc etc.

Best Documentary Feature

“Collective,” Alexander Nanau and Bianca Oana

“Crip Camp,” Nicole Newnham, Jim LeBrecht and Sara Bolder

“The Mole Agent,” Maite Alberdi and Marcela Santibáñez

“My Octopus Teacher,” Pippa Ehrlich, James Reed and Craig Foster (WINNER)

“Time,” Garrett Bradley, Lauren Domino and Kellen Quinn

Best Documentary Short Subject

“Colette,” Anthony Giacchino and Alice Doyard (WINNER)

“A Concerto Is a Conversation,” Ben Proudfoot and Kris Bowers

“Do Not Split,” Anders Hammer and Charlotte Cook

“Hunger Ward,” Skye Fitzgerald and Michael Scheuerman

“A Love Song for Latasha,” Sophia Nahli Allison and Janice Duncan

Best Animated Feature Film

“Onward” (Pixar)

“Over the Moon” (Netflix)

“A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon” (Netflix)

“Soul” (Pixar) (WINNER)

“Wolfwalkers” (Apple TV Plus/GKIDS)

Best Animated Short Film

“Burrow” (Disney Plus/Pixar)

“Genius Loci” (Kazak Productions)

“If Anything Happens I Love You” (Netflix) (WINNER)

“Opera” (Beasts and Natives Alike)

“Yes-People” (CAOZ hf. Hólamói)

Best Live-Action Short Film

“Feeling Through”

“The Letter Room”

“The Present”

“Two Distant Strangers” (WINNER)

“White Eye”

Best Sound

“Greyhound,” Warren Shaw, Michael Minkler, Beau Borders and David Wyman

“Mank,” Ren Klyce, Jeremy Molod, David Parker, Nathan Nance and Drew Kunin

“News of the World,” Oliver Tarney, Mike Prestwood Smith, William Miller and John Pritchett

“Soul,” Ren Klyce, Coya Elliott and David Parker

“Sound of Metal,” Nicolas Becker, Jaime Baksht, Michelle Couttolenc, Carlos Cortés and Phillip Bladh (WINNER)

Best Director

Thomas Vinterberg (“Another Round”)

David Fincher (“Mank”)

Lee Isaac Chung (“Minari”)

Chloé Zhao (“Nomadland”) (WINNER)

Emerald Fennell (“Promising Young Woman”)

This has been said, but it needs to be said again (and again)… Oscar Winner Chloe Zhao is the 2nd woman in the history of the Oscars (which is nearing close to a century) to win in this category and the first woman of Asian descent. Her award announced by last year’s – also Asian – winner Bong Joon Ho. THIS is what I want to be hearing in the news about Asians. Seeing all the side by side photo comparisons of them each posing with their two Oscars is sparking so much joy in my social media feeds.

Best Costume Design

“Emma,” Alexandra Byrne

“Mank,” Trish Summerville

“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Ann Roth (WINNER)

“Mulan,” Bina Daigeler

“Pinocchio,” Massimo Cantini Parrini

When you take a step back and consider Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom as a whole, the look of the entire film really does grab you doesn’t it? Well deserved win.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

“Emma,” Marese Langan, Laura Allen, Claudia Stolze

“Hillbilly Elegy,” Eryn Krueger Mekash, Patricia Dehaney, Matthew Mungle

“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Sergio Lopez-Rivera, Mia Neal, Jamika Wilson (WINNER)

“Mank,” Kimberley Spiteri, Gigi Williams, Colleen LaBaff

“Pinocchio,” Mark Coulier, Dalia Colli, Francesco Pegoretti

I said this in my twitter best... in recent years it’s finally dawned on the Academy to stop simply awarding the period films in these categories. I fully support this, I just need to remember this when I’m making Oscar Pool picks in attempts to win money.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Sacha Baron Cohen (“The Trial of the Chicago 7”)

Daniel Kaluuya (“Judas and the Black Messiah”) (WINNER)

Leslie Odom Jr. (“One Night in Miami”)

Paul Raci (“Sound of Metal”)

Lakeith Stanfield (“Judas and the Black Messiah”)

I’d like to thank Daniel Kaluuya’s mom and dad for having sex too.

Best International Feature Film

“Another Round” (Denmark) (WINNER)

“Better Days” (Hong Kong)

“Collective” (Romania)

“The Man Who Sold His Skin” (Tunisia)

“Quo Vadis, Aida?” (Bosnia and Herzegovina)

Another Round was an early favourite among audiences, I saw it back in the fall myself. I’m almost positive it’s the style of the film and a general lack of enthusiasm I have for cinema of Northern Europe (no offence, there are many exceptions but I don’t really jump out of my seat when I hear there’s a Scandinavian film festival in town) but I wouldn’t rave about this film. It’s decent but I was much more moved by Better Days (which is a Mandarin-spoken film, so I was entirely reliant on the subtitles despite it originating from HK) and much more interested in seeing Quo Vadis, Aida?

Best Adapted Screenplay

“Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern; Story by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Nina Pedrad

“The Father,” Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller (WINNER)

“Nomadland,” Chloé Zhao

“One Night in Miami,” Kemp Powers

“The White Tiger,” Ramin Bahrani

Looking at this list, I’m reminded that Regina King should have gotten a nomination for directing. Good script but her direction brought it to life.

Best Original Screenplay

“Judas and the Black Messiah.” Screenplay by Will Berson, Shaka King; Story by Will Berson, Shaka King, Kenny Lucas, Keith Lucas

“Minari,” Lee Isaac Chung

“Promising Young Woman,” Emerald Fennell (WINNER)

“Sound of Metal.” Screenplay by Darius Marder, Abraham Marder; Story by Darius Marder, Derek Cianfrance

“The Trial of the Chicago 7,” Aaron Sorkin

I’m so happy Emerald Fennell won, over Aaron Sorkin, who’s got enough awards he can live without this one despite Trial of the Chicago 7 being some good writing. There’s something to be said about a story so triggering, wracks many with guilt (I know it did that for me, and it better have done the same for many others that I know, because we all know the things we turned a blind eye to growing up in the years that we did. We remember the things that we cannot even bare to talk to each other about now.), and we still can’t help but be in awe and consider it the best damn story of the year.

Also tipping my hat to Minari (which Chef/Restuaranteur/TV celeb David Chang so accurately describes as the real “Marriage Story”) and Judas and the Black Messiah. And the absence of Da 5 Bloods needs to be pointed out, it should’ve been nominated for Screenplay.

Sound of Metal is many things, its performances, technical achievements, and even directing are superior, but script-wise… I liked It’s All Gone Pete Tong (2004) better.

My post-Oscar ramble seems a little longer than usual (I mean, I do have a LOT more time than usual) so I won't recap my tweets of varying relevance and intelligence, you can find them all on my Twitter at https://twitter.com/palindr0me

[melodielgrace]

MAZ Section 2, Chapter 1; Awake in a Strange Place

Ugh. That was an epic, albeit disturbing, dream. It felt so real. I nearly feel dizzy, can almost sense abrasions on my skin. Actually, there are. I shoot up out of bed, not my bed, this isn’t my bed. Why isn’t this my bed? Rolling up my black pyjama pants, which I don’t remember putting on, or even buying, I see scratches and gashes up my right leg. Shit, that was real? It wasn’t a dream? Oh, damn, so I must be in hospital. I’m in hospital, of course. Somewhere between Rivertown and Halls Gap. I could be anywhere, that’s a long way. This doesn’t quite look like a hospital. Or not what I expected, at least. Never having been inside an actual hospital, this is strange. As if waking up somewhere I didn’t go to sleep isn’t strange enough. White walls, gold floor, trim and door. Aren’t hospitals supposed to white? Or, like, light blue? The harsh white light blinds me. My clothes have been changed. Do I feel violated? I don’t know because isn’t that part of the nursing/doctoring job? I suppose it would be hard to save someone’s life with torn up clothing in the way. It could very well still be Tuesday 7th, the day we were on our way to Halls Gap for the school camp. Or it could be Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday. There’s no way of telling for sure how long I’ve been out. My head’s confused. Should I be freaking out? Or should I feel safe, gratified, that someone came along and took us to hospital? Oh I hope Ruby’s alright. She must be somewhere close by. My feet make no noise on the cold and polished floor. There is no lock or handle on the door, so I push against it gently. It doesn’t want to open so easily, so use a bit more force. Nope, nothing. I shove my whole body into it, and still, it doesn’t budge. Maybe it’s a pull door, not push? I try that, but I can’t understand how one is supposed to open this damn door. Perhaps we aren’t. Not from the inside. Could it possibly be that only the doctors can open them? Maybe they have a key card or some sort of fancy techy lock on the outside. Is it voice activated? “Open.” I command of it. “Unlock.” Still won’t move. “Open sesame? Alohomora?” Okay, I’m really getting nervous now. Scared, even. “Hello? Is someone there? I’m awake now and I can’t open the door? Could I please get some help? Anyone?” I’m stuck. I look around for another exit, or something else that could help me get out. I don’t know what to look for, but even if I did, even if I had any idea, I wouldn’t succeed. There’s nothing here, apart from the bed. The bed that isn’t mine. Where am I? Where could I be? It’s spacious enough in here, I suppose, but I’m trapped. I’m not claustrophobic, but I’m scared out of my mind. How long have I been here? How long will I be here? Will someone come get me? My breathing turns rough, my chest tightens. It’s so quiet and that scares me further. I guess there’s nothing to do but sit down in a corner and endure through this approaching anxiety attack. I can’t organise my thoughts; ‘I don’t want to be here’, ‘Why am I here?’, ‘Where are the others are they okay?’, ‘What’s going to happen to us?’, ‘What’s going to happen to me?’ My mind is turning too fast for me to follow, so I try to concentrate on doing breathing exercises. Meditating, 5 seconds inhaling through the nose, 5 seconds exhaling through the mouth. In, out. In, out. Out through the nose, in through the mouth. Wait. No, that’s not right. Damn, who knew breathing was so hard? I finally calm down enough to be reasonable with myself. I reinforce the idea that I’m safe, and that I’ll be home soon. A hear sudden noises, and instead of my heart leaping out of my chest, it feels like it just went back into my spine. A deep voice talking outside, a few pairs of feet stomping, growing fainter as they walk away. The wall starts to whirr and hiss, and makes all sorts of sounds. A door-sized whole dissolves in front of my eyes. A short man in an oversized speckled gold coat appears in the way. He enters, trailed by a taller, more threatening-seeming man who brings with him a cart full of miscellaneous objects. The short man keeps walking towards me while the tall one takes his place against the wall. The short man is smiling warmly, inciting hope in me. Up close I can see an embellishment on his jacket, a bizarre pattern with the lets M, A, Z over the top of it. I wonder what MAZ is. Maybe it’s his initials? “Good morning, my dear Emoni McLaris.” He knows my name! Ok how does he know my name? Oh, duh, he’s a doctor, hospitals know this stuff. He sees me stiffen and he chuckles softly. “Oh, darling, don’t worry. I’m a doctor, of sorts. Of course I know your name.” Just as I thought. Nothing to fear. “My name is Doctor Haycinth.” So, not his initials, then. “And I’m sorry to say that, yesterday you and your classmates suffered a car crash. Well, a car crashed into your bus.” “I’d hoped it was a dream.” I admit. Haycinth shakes his head. “Sorry, no. it was the real deal. I’m the head of this here sanatorium you find yourself in. When my team found you and your class, they contacted me and I immediately came to the rescue.” His face falls further. “This may be upsetting, but I must inform you that, unfortunately, some of your classmates have died.” Ruby? Oh my gosh no not Ruby, I couldn’t live without her. “Some had passed before I even arrived on the scene. Two actually departed along the journey here. Terrible stuff. My condolences.” “Ruby?” I utter. “Ruby? Ruby Newell? Is she okay? Is she alive? Is she alright?” Nodding his head, he says ‘yes’. Maybe I can try to breathe again. “May I explain some further things to you?” “Go ahead.” He sits down with me on the floor. “I’m not your typical suburban doctor, you see. I founded a great society many years ago, it has since blossomed to reach its full potential, in the form of this establishment we stand in. The Medical Alteration Zone, or ‘MAZ’, specialises in experimental methods that the government deems unsuitable for mainstream use.” MAZ. That sounds ambiguously familiar. “But, please don’t be threatened by what we do. We also function as any other normal hospital would. Take yourself, for example. A bus crash. We aren’t solely focused on silly little science experiments.” He laughs, encouraging me to laugh with him, so I don’t feel endangered. I do laugh, but I do still feel scared. “Can I see my friends?” I venture. “Certainly, although not yet. Most are still recovering, you see. It was a traumatic experience.” He sounds quite upset. “Oh, yeah, of course,” I understand. “I assumed you’ve called my parents?” He juts his head on an angle and says “Yes. It was an upsetting phone call, but their glad you’re ok and they’re on their way to come collect you and take you home. I’m sorry about your school trip.” So everything’s great! I’ll be reunited with my family soon enough, and when Ruby’s better we can go shopping like we used to, everything will be back to normal. “It’s okay, I didn’t really wanna come anyway. So was anything wrong with me? I mean I saw the scrapes on my legs, but did you have to operate?” Haycinth perks up. “Fortunately not, Miss McLaris. But we did run a few standard tests etcetera, and you’re mostly fine and healthy. Other than the shock.” “I must tell you something that you won’t believe, but I swear it’s true. You’ll probably think I’m lying because of how,” he laughs shortly, “outlandish this will sound to you.” Is he gonna tell me that I’m pregnant? “You have a brother. Lowen Stanis” Aha, good one. “He’d be 23 now. 15 years ago, in 2022, your happy little family of four took the scenic route to your grandparent’s farm, I believe. But your car collided with another.” No, that’s just a sullen scene I invented in my head… “Luckily, you all survived. However, 8-year-old Lowen moseyed away from the scene. Three days later, this precious child chanced upon our property, and we took him in. Adopted him. Of course, we told your parents he had been kidnapped. Convinced them to change their name and move. They did just that, McLaris.” This is bullshit. “This is bullshit.” I say. “We began testing him when he turned 10. We’re ruthless scientific investigators, but we’re not horrible people; we would never hurt a child.” I still don’t believe him. “Sure, it’s still bullshit, though. I’m an only child. I think I would know if I had a brother.” “Ah, but you don’t. Do you what repressed memories are, Miss McLaris?” Haycinth asks condescendingly. He doesn’t let me answer. “They are memories that have been unconsciously locked due to the memory being associated with a high level of stress or trauma. Can you tell me of a traumatic incident you’ve been through?” “Stepping in gum.” I spit venomously. “When you were in the baby booster seat in the back of the car when you crashed and your brother went missing, I would expect. You blocked all previous memories at that moment.” …that makes sense. I learned about memories in Psychology class, and what he says does ring true to it. But, my parents would’ve said something, surely…? Haycinth presses some buttons on a remote and the wall in front of me, the same wall that materialised a doorway, turns into a screen. A photo of a laughing baby. “This-“ “Ooh! Ooh! Let me guess! Is it my fake brother?” “Indeed, Miss McLaris. Lowen Stanis, 4 months old.” Like a slideshow, it switches to another image. An older boy, about 5. A few more pictures of the same age, then “This photo was taken the morning of your car crash. Isn’t he handsome? Oh, and there’s you.” Unexplainably, it is me. And the car we’re standing in front of with…my mother. That’s my mother. And it truly looks authentic. But no way, I don’t have a brother, never did. How did they get this photo? I’ve never seen anything like it. “Photos can easily be edited.” The snapshot morphs into another, the same boy. “We took these when we found him.” This picture blends into one of a dashing teen. “16 years old, here.” Haycinth narrates, as if I can’t see for myself. “This next one,” the screen changes, “is my personal favourite. How he was at 18, just around the time he built up a certain…immunity. His body resisted our sturdiest chemicals.” “Lowen developed…abilities. Ones we had never seen before. None of our other subjects had ever shocked us like this. We were stumped. Still are, a bit. Since he ran away when he was about your age, we have made advancements in finding a cure. He is sick, Emoni. And we need you to help us help him.” The screen changes once more; “This is what we believe him to look like now, at 23 years old his features should be mostly the same. We cannot find out boy, Emoni. Will you assist in returning him to us? To his home?” “Even if he did exist I wouldn’t help you.” I spit venomously. “Would you like some food? I’m sure you starving by now.” His noiseless companion takes a gold platter out of the cart, brings it over to me and reveals a meal like I’ve never before seen. Two big chunks of steaming meat that I struggle to identify, atop potato slices and an eccentric salad. Something drizzling down the meat; sauce. He hands me a black knife and fork wrapped in a black serviette. What a peculiar colour scheme they have going on here. I am famished. Ravenously I snatch up the cutlery and take the plate, sitting it down in front of my crossed legs on the floor. Just before I dig in, I hesitate. What if they’ve put some sort of experimental drug in it? Are they experimenting on me? Doctor Haycinth bends down, takes the fork from my hand, and peels of a portion of meat, exposing the soft and tender sinews. He takes the mouthful and returns the fork to me. “It’s safe. We don’t want to hurt you.” Awesome, I can eat it. Who cares for table manners when there isn’t a table? “Will you help us to help him?” Haycinth begs. I get back to my meal, making a start on the potato. It tastes…artificial. This has taken an unexpected turn. And so have I. They did drug me. The potatoes have left me paralysed from the neck down. Unable to move, I fall sideways onto the cold hard ground that I was admiring only a few moments ago. “What’s happening? What are you doing to me?” I manage to vocalise. “I can’t move.” “Hmm yes.” He nods to his mate, who picks me up and lays me down on the bed. Haycinth holds his palm to a panel in the wall next to the bed, which opens up and closes around his wrist. It must be an ID scanner or something of the like. More whirring and stirring and a section of the floor moves out of the way of a rising containment. The Silent Man lifts me again and roughly walks me to it. Laying me down in it, Haycinth removes his hand from the wall to come and restrain me, which seems excessive considering I CAN’T MOVE TO DEFEND MYSELF. He and the Silent Man continue to buckle me down. “We were trying to make super-soldiers. But, that obviously didn’t turn out how we expected. And neither did Lowen. We consider him to be an anomaly. Actually, a few of the staff have taken to the nickname; ‘The Anomaly’.” Haycinth laughs. Hahaha, so funny. “Will you tell us the whereabouts of his location?” (I think that ‘whereabouts’ and ‘location’ mean the same thing?) I stare blankly ahead, trying not to try. “Hmm? No? Well that’s alright, I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe you’ll have changed your mind by then. In the meantime, my friend will stay here to comfort you.” Haycinth makes his leave. The Silent Man picks up shiny metal piece that worries me. He laughs sadistically as he brings it to my face to show my source of torture to me. He makes his first cut, slow and excruciating on my shoulder. He then slides it down, slicing open the skin of my arm. I try my best not to scream.

[andrewuttaro]

2020 Revisions: Good, Bad and Ugly Rhinos 2021 Scenarios

The Rochester Rhinos Outsider blog was a series of articles written in the winter of 2018-2019 as the second year of the club’s hiatus was at its quietest and darkest. This article is part of the 2020 Rhinos Outsider Revisions series, a series of long-read features jumping off from the starting point of those original articles with new information since revealed.

The Rochester Rhinos pushed it back to 2021. That’s one more year, a third year of waiting. So let’s take another trip back to when we had one fewer year to wait through. One of the funnier articles from the Rhinos Outsider posts was the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. It was about speculating all the different ways the return might go. That is, all the good ways, bad ways and just plain ugly ways. Moreover in the leadup to the meat of the article I wrote about the “hat trick of ruined owners”. That little piece hasn’t meaningfully changed in the year since I wrote it so here it is! That particular passage in a lightly edited form:

First things first, let’s be totally up front: this maybe it for the Rhinos. The Dworkins could also spend themselves into insolvency if Rochesterians don’t come to the new venue. They too could basically be forced to give up the team by debtor banks like the first owners or forced to give it up by the league like the second owner and this club could complete the hat trick of ruined owners. Who wouldn’t want to be the fourth owner of that organization? Hate to be that guy, but that is why I’m talking like we got one last chance here. We do kinda have one last chance.

I think that little nugget is a riot. Most outsiders think this club is basically already dead. Hell, that conclusion makes a lot of sense. So much in fact I’ve been writing letters to perspective new owners. But on another level deeper, this club has ruined every individual or group of individuals that has owned it. I’m not saying that’s a curse but there is some dark humor there if that’s your cup of tea. But enough dark soccer comedy, time for a pep talk.

This article in the original Rhinos Outsider series was a big dose of sobriety. A club doesn’t just survive by way of wealthy owners. A soccer club anywhere survives by the efforts of fans and a community, casual or not, that support it. There is a legitimate argument to be made that Rochester doesn’t support her own. We could go down a whole rabbit hole about population and generational differences that contribute to how sports teams are thinning out here. I don’t want to go into those things now but what I ended up giving in this post a year ago was something like a pep talk. The Rochester Rhinos organization represents a piece of this City’s culture that I don’t think people realize. To be very frank I think most Rochesterians don’t realize what we have or might soon have had.

The Rhinos won the Open Cup in 1999. All of us Rochesterians were a part of that. That kind of title has no easy comparison in American Sports. All things being equal, the Open Cup is bigger in U.S. Soccer than the Superbowl is in American Football. WE DID THAT! US, ROCHESTER, NEW YORK! I mean it when I say it: the Rochester Rhinos are the best soccer team in American History. I’ll die on that hill. It would be such a crying shame if Rochester doesn’t realize that until it’s too late. With that as our introduction lets imagine some scenarios for 2021. I will admit some of this is fantasy fulfillment, other parts of it… nightmares.

The Good

The Rochester Rhinos return in 2020 to St. John Fisher’s College Soccer Field. The games are catered by Wegmans which by itself is enough reason to draw 1500 fans of the casual and family varieties. That number is in addition to 1000 fans of the young and diehard categories. This scenario is the good-est of good boys so let’s go all out: not only is the club’s concessions catered by Wegmans, Danny Wegmans owns the team now! He bought out the Dworkins and now the jerseys have a big old W on the chest for Wegmans and Win! They do just that! The Rhinos beat a couple MLS teams in the Open Cup and dominate League One to win a title in their first season back on the pitch! Danny Wegman announces he’s buying a piece of open land in Pittsford and building a stadium! This scenario is so fun I let out my own rendition of the Howard Dean Scream after writing it.

Let’s go a little less good. The Rhinos are still returning to St. John Fisher’s Field because this is still a good scenario. Except in this scenario there are notable hiccups. The concessions are a little screwy and the team has some facilities clashes with the University. The Dworkins do however do a good job pulling in talent and manage to go all the way to the USL League One Final in their first year back. The attendance numbers gradually climb as the season goes on and the good word spreads. After seeing the relationship as mutually beneficial the Dworkins sign a deal with Fisher to keep the team there for three years. At that point they announce their plans to build a stadium in East Rochester. The Rhinos are resurrected!

Ok, one more good scenario. The Rhinos return to the Downtown Stadium after the City realizes how much money they’re losing on having no tenet thee. The new deal allows the Dworkins much greater control over the venue and the City helps finance some renovations that help draw 3000 fans on average the first season back. More supporters are enticed to come to games when the new indoor sports plex next door destigmatizes the neighborhood for all the scared suburbanites. The Rhinos narrowly miss the playoffs, but the new club has a distinctly Rochester identity that everyone is happy to have back.

The Bad

The least bad scenario that I wouldn’t consider good is a rushed move to the Dome Arena area. The Dworkins announce the plan late in the Fall 2020 giving themselves little time to clear land and put a field on the other end of the Dome Arena parking lot. They exclaim the location’s proximity to shopping and Wegmans and what not. Unfortunately the lift the team actually receives is hard to tell as most of the fans shoehorned into temporary stands at one end of the field are clearly diehards. The team isn’t competitive, missing the USL League One Playoffs and losing to another League One team in the Open Cup. This is not to mention Soccer Sam Fantauzzo still thinks he’s competing with the Rhinos in this scenario as he beefs up the Lancers operation.

As bad scenarios get worse the Rhinos get to go to St. John Fisher College their first season back in 2021 but the University quickly doesn’t like it. They go as far as to make large swaths of parking unusable on gamedays. Nonetheless the reborn Rhinos are competitive on the field and almost make the playoffs. The Dworkins announce an iffy plan to move to another venue they don’t name until the last weeks of the season. A run to the MLS round of the Open Cup distracts the fans from the plan falling through. After much wheeling and dealing the Dworkins secure one more year at Fisher and continue to scramble to find a new home in time.

The Rhinos return to Frontier Field in a freak two-year deal with the County and drive nostalgia real hard in the marketing. For a while they manage to drive attendance up before the new team they assemble crashes and burns. Unfortunately nostalgia isn’t enough to save the club from the collapse and the financial fortune of the club is awful by the end of 2021. The Dworkins make one last plea saying if 2022 isn’t good enough financially they simply won’t continue. 2022 sees a miraculous Open Cup run to the semifinals but once again the Dworkins make a plea for financial help as they look for a place to go after Frontier.

The Ugly

The Dworkins sell the team in November 2020. The League operates the team via Pat Ercoli who sees the team play at the Downtown Stadium out of some miracle due to the new ownership. Unfortunately the same problems persist from before the hiatus and Ercoli is forced to get creative. An alliance with the Rochester Lancers goes nowhere even after their owner, Sam Fantauzzo, announces his intent to move the Lancers to the downtown stadium to help the Rhinos. The league has a meeting with Ercoli that is followed by his resignation from the organization. The team shutters for another haitus in 2022 as the league fails to find a new owner before folding it in 2024, the year the USL System finally institutes Promotion/Relegation adding insult to injury to the end of the Rochester Rhinos.

The Dworkins build a small stadium by the Dome Arena in Henrietta and achieve some better average attendance in the first few games back. Pat Ercoli announces his retirement and receives a splendid send off ceremony. Shortly thereafter Sam Fantauzzo moves his Rochester Lancers to NISA where they garner more support from diehard soccer fans in Rochester. This is direct competition for seemingly no reason. The Rhinos season on and off the field tanks before the Dworkins sell the franchise rights in November. The league does not find a new owner and shutters the brand in 2022. I think two ugly scenarios is more than enough.

Final Thoughts

I had a lot of emotional points to make about what the most likely scenarios actually were in the original version of this article. But now I got to be honest, another year of haitus has made me somewhat indifferent. Don’t get me wrong, I love this club, it’s my aesthetic and my favorite soccer club forever and ever amen. But you can’t expect enthusiasm after nearly zero public information sharing over 14 months. Even a lunatic like me can’t get excited for something they have almost no clue about. Help us out here. The next 12 months and beyond will be very interesting.

That said the truth was very well said by one Brad Bates back in December. Bates is a Rhinos supporter way out in Lansing, Michigan. You can hear him on the League One Unfiltered Podcast (L1Unfiltered) or read him on twitter @BradBates25. The brand is in the gutter. Years of neglect and now years of haitus has reduced the Rochester Rhinos to a punch line and a soccer history fancy. A truly rousing reclamation is needed. The Dworkins don’t just need to resurrect their dormant team, they need to create something new worthy of the name and legacy of the Rochester Rhinos. They need to not only make a highly competitive team on the field but a highly compelling overall product for the supporters. Wherever they play they have to build something special, familiar but also distinctly new. Otherwise this all may very well be for naught.

I’ve been very optimistic in this haitus, but its wearing on me now. 2020, or at least these first six months of it, stands to be the busiest year of my life so far. Unless I’m getting far more regular updates then we saw the last 18 months then it will be hard for me to do anything but write an epitaph come the Fall. I don’t want to, but the burden of proof now points in an increasingly negative direction. The Brad Bates Standard is going to be a tough one to meet even if they come back. And now the darker thought arises: do I even want them coming back if I don’t believe they can stage a comeback worthy of the name? Gee, that question is a tough one. Unfortunately it’s the question I’ll be wrestling with more and more this year.

I am basically the only Rhinos blogger out there so follow me if you want more of this. This series of long-read articles, 2020 Rhinos Outsider Revisions, will probably only have one more installment. Come to think of it, this maybe it for trying to make content out of these posts from a year ago. I will probably have a similar long-read article completely new and original. I think it will be something like what we started getting into with the legacy of the Rochester Rhinos. That will come sometime in the next 6-8 weeks before the return of my regular series on the Rhinos: State of the Support. How about more on that.

In a few weeks we should be getting a real update on the situation with the club; at which point Season Two of State of the Support will premiere. State of the Support is a reoccurring series about the Rhinos that will be broadening its scope a tiny bit to Rochester Soccer in general for Season Two. In the spirit of supporting a soccer club I’d say a club like the Rhinos deserve second life if any domestic soccer team does. And even if you don’t currently call Rochester home like me I’d hope you could support their future going forward for just that reason. Hopefully the future of the Rochester Rhinos isn’t just fantasy.

Thanks for Reading.

Let’s Go Rhinos!