#edit: i completely forgot his lipstick again i fixed it but i’m still going to kill myself/j

[junos-cacophony]

since some people make heart only partially blind this is what I imagined he looks like when he is

[lynneshobbydomain]

Seeing Is Believing (Day 4 of Komahina Week)

((Thank you sunflower_8 for betaing this for me))

Prompts: Talentswap AU/Flirting

Rating: G

Summary: A picture is worth a thousand words unspoken and understood. Hajime uses Nagito’s talent against him to show him exactly what this means.

You can read under the cut or at my A03

“You know a hundred other people in the world, why does it have to be me that gets photographed?” Hajime asked as Nagito placed down his camera. The park was empty save for themselves, which was good because Hajime didn’t feel up to signing autographs of any sort. It was probably also in Nagito’s good luck too, considering it saved him a lot of editing later. 

At the current moment, Nagito had Hajime posed so that he was leaning up against the tree, a book propped in his hand. He had to brush the petals out from his hair from time to time, so they wouldn’t pile up and make him look worse. Nagito had been moving around trying to get different angles, using natural lighting was more of a hassle for a photographer and Nagito was determined to make it work. Hajime had to admire the perseverance.

“No one would look as good as you.” Nagito replied smoothly as he adjusted his camera settings. Hajime’s cheeks pinkened, but he stomped those feelings down. “I want to catch Hinata-kun’s good side. You always show the stiff and stoic sides of yourself, but I rarely catch you at a moment of relaxation and peace. And with a smile.”

Either Nagito was going full out with the flattery, or Hajime was taking everything he was saying too seriously. “What do you mean with a smile?” Hajime finally decided to ask. He wasn’t going to touch on the flattery part. If he did, then that meant listening to five negative things about Nagito, and Hajime wasn’t sure he could handle that without wanting to slap him or kiss him.

He preferred the latter but that was completely off the point.

“Wait, you didn’t know?” Nagito picked his head up, eyes wide with surprise. He quickly started to go through his camera and then walked over towards the model. Hajime didn’t like looking at photos of himself, he rarely ever looked like what was on magazine print. However, when the camera was tilted so that Hajime could see the screen, he noticed that there was something different in the way he was photographed for his job, and the way Nagito caught him.

There was a tiny smile that was on Hajime’s lips in the photo. A couple of the cherry petals had fallen just in time to give him the sense that he was in a romantic setting without anyone. The book was open and Hajime noticed that he didn’t look at the writing. He was looking up and away. As if he were waiting for someone, or as if someone called his name. Now that he thought about it, wasn’t that what Nagito did? Called his name and made him look up? That was several shots ago.

“See?” Nagito asked, his voice soft as though he was going to break the moment. Hajime felt himself being lured by the tone, feeling as though maybe Nagito was right and this wasn’t a moment to break. “I told you you have a small smile.”

“I didn’t even know I was doing that.” Hajime mused. He wondered what he could’ve been thinking about that caused it. He was usually so careful about his expressions when there was a camera around. Even though Nagito told him to relax and just be himself, Hajime would’ve been aware of that smile, wouldn’t he?

Or maybe, Hajime looked over at Nagito as he thought about it, maybe it was because of who was behind the camera to begin with. Nagito was leaning close into his personal space. He could smell the cologne and the blackroom that lingered on Nagito’s clothes. There was the same type that was playing at the corners of Nagito’s mouth. “Has anyone ever taken your photo before, Komaeda-kun?”

“My photo? Why would anyone want to take a picture of me?” Nagito burst into laughter, though it was high pitched and nervous. Hajime felt his heart wrench. “I’m not all that good looking like you are Hinata-kun.” Hajime opened his mouth, about to lay out fifteen different other reasons why that wasn’t true when Nagito continued. “Besides, you’re my favorite subject to photograph. You...don’t see yourself the way I see you.”

Spurred on by the moment, Hajime held his hand out. Nagito blinked, gripping onto his camera a little tighter. “If I promise not to break it,” Hajime said, “then will you let me take one photo of you? I want to prove something.”

“Prove something?” Nagito echoed. “I mean…” He pursed his lips together before shrugging. “Okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you about the picture coming out bad.” He handed the camera over towards Hajime and they switched positions. “Should I also be reading the book?”

“I want you to be yourself.” Hajime told him as he started to mess around with the angles of the camera. Did he want a vertical picture or a horizontal one? He trusted Nagito’s settings for the rest of the picture. He wouldn’t know how to fix whatever mistake he made for that. “What would Komaeda Nagito do in this setting?”

Nagito’s teeth raked the bottom of his lip and looked at the ground thoughtfully. Hajime was tempted to press the button then, but decided against it. He waited until Nagito decided to sit down underneath the tree while Hajime had stood, with his foot up against it. Nagito leaned back, his head tilted. The mosaic shadows covered most of his features, but the light of the sun helped tease the sparkle in his eye and shone brightly as a halo against his hair. He turned slightly to face the camera, a serene smile and a pleasant expression. He reached and placed his hand next to him, as though beckoning whoever was behind the camera to approach.

Hajime could only hope that was a good shot. He got down on his knees to make sure that he was level with the pose. He knew enough to know that if he decided to stay standing, the picture wouldn’t come out right. The angle would be too awkward, and the settings Nagito had on would ruin the photo. Hajime wanted to catch Nagito in the best light he could. He lifted the camera and saw through the lens that Nagito’s expression changed only slightly. whether it was out of surprise at Hajime’s thoughtfulness or something else, Hajime wasn’t sure.

But that was the expression that stayed on that photo.

“Wanna take a look?” Hajime asked as he held the camera back.

Nagito reached over as he took the camera and he blinked at the photo. 

“Maybe I wasn’t all that good.” Hajime took his silence as if he had done something wrong. He wouldn’t have been surprised really. Photography wasn’t his strongest suit after all and it wasn’t his Ultimate. “But I-”

“Hinata Hajime, you are so talented. You made me look like a model like yourself! I’m not worthy of thi-” Komaeda was starting to hyperventilate. Hajime didn’t think he ever saw someone literally shake from excitement from just a photo. Then again, who was he kidding? Nagito had shook when Hajime offered to be his model for one of his practical exams. It was endearing, but...worrisome.

“Didn’t you tell me once that the photographer captures what he sees and how he sees?” Hajime cut through his spiel.

Nagito blinked and nodded, “Yes, that’s...correct. I did say that.” Then another wave of shock. “I’m not-”

“That’s how I see you. I think that’s how you see me too.” Hajime swallowed. “I mean...if I’m not being...you know. Too forward I think-”

A sound of a photo being taken snapped Hajime out of his thoughts and of the sentence he was about to say. He blinked back the lights that were suddenly dappled in his vision and he noticed that Nagito’s hands were trembling around the camera as he slowly brought it down from his face. 

Nagito passed the camera back to Hajime wordlessly and the model took the camera again.

The reds of his cheeks were prominent, again Hajime hadn’t been aware of his blushing or of that timid smile that he was wearing. Apparently those two things were common when Nagito was around or taking his picture. The way that he was at Nagito, the earnest expression and sincerity.

“I’ve been trying to find a way to ask you out that wasn’t...photo sessions.” Nagito admitted. “But I just wasn’t brave enough to think that you could like someone like me.”

“I mean, I know I’m intimidating, but I didn’t think I was scary.” Hajime licked the bottom of his lip, his heart stuttering in his chest. “So...yeah?”

“Of course. I would be stupid not to date you.” Nagito sighed. “I just wish you caught on after the first thousand photos we took together.”

Hajime spluttered, but he decided to laugh it off. “Maybe next time you should’ve left the photos on my desk. I might’ve gotten the hint.”

“With the fancy writing on the edge of the card with a bunch of x’s and o’s like in Hollywood?” Nagito quipped back and Hajime burst into laughter. He forgot that he told Nagito about how many times his fans would send him clippings of his own photos to send in and try to hit on him that way. “Next time I’ll remember the red lipstick, Hinata-kun.”

“Oh god no I take it back! I take it back!” Hajime laughed. “No, you did just fine...actually what did you do with those photos anyway? You don’t have a shrine do you?”

“And what if I do? Will Hinata-kun still want to date me?” Nagito teased.

“If it’s not a summoning circle, sure.”

“Your standards are very high.” 

Both boys fell back into easy laughter and Hajime took the initiative and crawled over to sit down next to Nagito. The photographer gasped softly as Hajime pressed their sides together and he tilted his head to rest against Nagito’s shoulder. The warmth of Nagito’s body and the sun was like a gentle lullaby, it was easy to bring back the peace.

He didn’t even mind it when another photo was taken. Nagito could complain about the angle and the bad lighting of the selfie later. 

It would soon be their favorite photograph anyway.

[mythiica]

Reader x Gavin - Date Gone... Right?

Title: Date Gone… Right?

Fandom: Mr. Love Queen’s Choice

Character: Gavin

Genre: Plot with porn

Warnings: full on smut at the end

Intended Gender Audience: Female Audience

Word Count: 2908 words

POV: second person

Other comments: kind of had to edit the requests a bit cause i had a vision of merging them,, but i think it worked out pretty well xD im sorry i just have so many gavin requests istg im going to drown i had to combine some of them

Just as you reach for your purse to leave, someone knocks at the door. You raise an eyebrow, unsure as to who it could be.

          Upon opening the door, you are surprised to see Gavin standing outside of your apartment. Upon seeing you, he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Is it a bad time?” He nods at your get up – the summer dress you are wearing, the makeup you are wearing, and the jewelry that shines in the dim hallway light. “You have a date?”

         “No,” you laugh, “It’s just a business meeting.”

         Gavin doesn’t seem to believe you, but he purses his lips to keep himself from saying anything else.

         “Don’t give me that look. I’m meeting with someone who would like to do a collaboration. If I manage to convince them to work with us, it would boost our views significantly. It is nothing more than a meeting to make sure our views align.” You brush your fingers through your hair. “Oh! I completely forgot to ask– did you need something?”

         He goes quiet for a moment but then shakes his head. “No, it can wait until tomorrow.”

         You exit your apartment and lock the door behind you. “I have to get going or I’m going to be late. I’ll see you tomorrow then, Gavin.” With that, you turn and walk down towards the elevator, leaving Gavin to linger in front of your apartment.

         As the door closes, he calls out, “If you need anything, call me!”

When you arrive at the restaurant, the man you meet offers you a bouquet of roses. “O-Oh, thank you. You didn’t have to, though, but thank you.”

         He scratches the back of his neck and smiles awkward. “I thought it was fitting for tonight–”

         You tip your head to the side, but brush the comment off. “Shall we go inside?”

         “Y-Yes!”

         The two of you are given a table with a beautiful view of the skyline – there is a candle in the middle of the table and a rose in a vase next to it. As you glance around, you can’t help but notice that all the other tables are occupied by couples. Your mind clicks, and you wonder if Gavin’s words might have had some truth to them.

         Still, you want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, so once you sit down, you pull out the formal proposal for the business collaboration.

         “Shouldn’t we order something to eat first? I heard that it can take a while before the food arrives.”

         “Oh, of course,” you reply, tucking the papers into your lap.

         After making small talk and deciding on drinks and dinner, you put the papers in the middle of the table and begin to talk about the proposal. “Now, this is completely flexible, so let me know what you think about it. If you have any questions, let me know, and we can sort it out.”

         He gives you a rather surprised look. “Uh.. I thought that you would be presenting this at tomorrow’s meeting.”

         Your stomach sinks. That’s not what you agreed to in the emails you exchanged with him…

         “So… this is…”

         “Our first date!” He laughs heartily. “I see, you’re just such a hard worker that you wanted to impress me. That’s one of the reasons you caught my eye in the first place. Good looking and smart.”

         Exhaling, you take a sip of wine and try to clear your mind. “I think I might have misunderstood–”

         “Oh, that’s not a problem.”          “It’s not?”

         “Of course you are probably just so awestruck that I managed to get a table here. I’m not a sugar daddy to clarify, but I guess I did want to show off a bit as well.”

         He continues blabbering, but you can’t stand it anymore, so you stand up abruptly. “I’m sorry, please excuse me for a moment… I have to… use the little girl’s room.” You flash him a bubbly smile, making him melt in his spot, and you run off in the other direction.

         In the restrooms, you pace back and forth, raking your fingers through your hair. How could you have misinterpreted the situation so poorly?! You also don’t want to ruin the mood, in fear that he would retract the collaboration proposal. That would cost your show and company a lot – so the only thing you could do was finish the date.

         Unless… You pull your phone out and dial a number.          “Hello?”

         “Gavin!”

         “Hey, aren’t you on that business meeting?”

         You go quiet for a moment and bite your lip.

         “It was a date, wasn’t it?”

         “I swear I didn’t know!” you exclaim. “But I can’t tell him or he starts talking about himself.” Composing yourself, you take a breath. “Can you… save me…?” It hurt to say those words because you were essentially admitting he was right.

         “Yeah, where are you?”

         “Main street, at the restaurant on the top floor of the hotel.”

         “He took you to Nuit d'Étoile?!”

         “Yes…” you reply bashfully. “What are you going to do?”

         You hear a door close on the other line. “I’ll come up with something. Stay there.”

         “O-Okay,” you mumble. “Thank you, Gavin.”

         The line goes silent for a moment, and you hear a motorcycle start up. “It’s no problem. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” And the call ends.

         You fix your lipstick and return quickly to your table. The appetizers already there, and he lights up when you come back. “Sorry. There was a line,” you lie.

         As you take your seat, he immediately takes one of the appetizers and plops it into his mouth. “That’s fine! When nature calls, it calls, amiright?” He proceeds to laugh at his own joke, so you chuckle dryly as well. “Aren’t you going to eat some? Don’t tell me you’re the type of girl that doesn’t eat anything–”

         You take one of the small appetizers before he can make another comment.

         There is not much time for you to talk about yourself as the man controls the conversation with detailed accounts of his accomplishments. You might have fallen asleep had he not suddenly stopped talking. Snapping out of your trance, you turn around and see Gavin towering over you.

         “Can we help you?”

         Gavin gives you a look. “Ma’am, I’m here to take you to protective custody. We think that he is targeting this restaurant and might strike. There is a car waiting outside.” His voice is low and smooth – completely convincing to anyone who doesn’t know him,

         Your ‘date’ goes pale and starts trembling. “What is the meaning of this?!”

“If I tell you more than you’ve already heard, you might become a target as well. Ma’am, we have to leave now.” Gavin takes your purse and holds out his hand.

         “Wait, shouldn’t I come with you?!”

         “No, you are safe as long as the two of you are never seen again.”

         You stand up and take Gavin’s hand. Not waiting to say goodbye, you lead Gavin out of the restaurant and call an elevator. He takes a step forward and stands very close to you. So close, in fact, that you can smell his aftershave and the faint scent of perspiration lingering on his skin. Gavin had probably dropped his work to come here as fast as possible.

         “W-What are you doing?”

         “He’s still watching to make sure the story is real. I’m being your bodyguard.”

         Your heart starts to beat frantically at the proximity of his large torso. You never really paid it much attention, but Gavin has a well-defined chest. When the elevator dings, he pushes you inside to keep up the act. Without prying eyes on the two of you anymore, you relax. “Thank you… I would not have survived that.”

         Gavin swallows hard and does not meet your gaze. “It’s not a problem. I’ll take you home.”

         “Well, the least I can do is thank you with dinner-”

         “I just busted you out of a date? Are you so eager to go on another one?”

         Blush spreads across your cheeks. “If you don’t want to, you can just say no.”

         He exits the elevators the moment the door opens. “I… didn’t say that. Here,” he hands you his helmet. “Put this on.”

         You do as you are told and sling a leg over his motorcycle. Gavin revs the engine and kicks the stand up, and the machine lurches forward, and out of the garage. Even with the helmet, you can feel the breeze pushing your hair back. When he accelerates, you lean back slightly. The moment of weightlessness scares you, so you instinctively wrap your arms around Gavin’s waist.

         Gavin goes rigid for a second, but then relaxes at your touch. He tips his head back and says something, but his voice is lost in the wind. Instead of taking the turn to your apartment, Gavin keeps going, and the two of you end up on the other side of town.

         He turns off of the highway, and, after driving down a few small streets, the two of you wind up at the head of a closed off street – on the other side of the barrier is a festival. Fairy lights string between lamp posts, and you can smell the food from where you are.

         After parking, Gavin helps you off. With a hand on the back of his neck, he smiles meekly. “I came by your apartment earlier… to invite you here.”

         Your heart wells with guilt, but you shake it off and grab his hand. “Let’s go have fun then!”

You are holding a large stuffed animal Gavin had won for you when you start to fumble around in your purse for the keys to your apartment. Upon opening the door, you turn around and smile brightly at Gavin. “Thank you for saving me and then,” you lift the plush, “for this. I had a wonderful night. Even if it did start raining.”

         Gavin runs his hand through his hair. “A little water never hurt anyone.”

         You take a step backwards. “Would you… like to come inside?”

         He inhales sharply, and then he reaches out to you. In a fluid movement, his arm hooks around your waist, and he ushers you inside. The door slams behind you, your purse and toy drop to the floor, and you sling your arms around his neck as he lifts you from the ground.

         His lips are on your neck and jaw, and his tongue rolls over your skin. Your moans echo throughout the dark apartment, and Gavin pushes you against the wall. You cling to the nearby table, and accidentally knock down a lamp. “Oops..” you whisper.

         Gavin snickers and catches your jaw to tip your head up. You can hear his heart pounding and the gentle clink of the metal zippers hanging from his jacket. Without saying anything, he kisses you deeply, and his tongue presses against your lips. When you don’t give him access, he bites your bottom lip, making you cry out slightly. The split second that you do, Gavin pushes his tongue into your mouth.

         You slip against the wall, and eventually land on the ground again. Gavin is swift to hoist you up again, but this time, he throws you onto your unmade bed. You land on your stomach, but before you have a chance to scramble up, Gavin flips the edge of your skirt up.

         He drags his gloved hands over the back of your thighs, right under the elastic of your undergarments. The cool sensation of the leather against your skin makes you go giddy with anticipation. You try to look over your shoulder, but Gavin places one hand on the back of your neck to keep you looking straight. With his other hand, he rubs his fingers over your clothed cunt.

         Lowering your head into the blankets, you moan loudly. “Gavin… please–”

         His warm breath tickles the shell of your ear, and it sends shivers down your spine. “I didn’t like seeing you there with him. He doesn’t deserve you – you are far too good for him.” As he speaks, his fingers threaten to dip into you at any moment. “But I couldn’t… admit I was jealous.”

         “Why not?” you inquire, shifting your hips slightly.

         Gavin teeths on your earlobe. “Because, I would be admitting, at the same time, that I can’t stop thinking about you.” Finally, he slips two fingers into you. The leather rubs against your walls, and he almost immediately begins to scissor them apart. “My heart twists in every direction when I see you…”

         “I–I feel the same,” you mumble between drawn out moans. Burying your face deeper into the covers, you prop your hips upwards, hoping that he will pleasure you more.

         Instead, he removes his fingers, but they are replaced by his tongue – the sudden wet sensation against your folds makes you throw your head back. His name drips from your lips like syrup, and it only fuels him to move his tongue around more. It flicks against your clit, pushing it upwards.

         You snap into reality for a moment – your underwear digs into your ass as he holds it away with a finger. Meanwhile, his tongue works wonders on your clit and his free hand inches up the inside of your thigh. Again, they slide into your hole, but this time, he curls them inside of you.

         Exposed like this – it does not take you long to unravel for him. Your essence trickles down your legs, but he continues to worship you, claim you, dominate you. Only when your legs start trembling does he reel back.

         Overwhelmed by pleasure, you can’t bring yourself to move. Gavin remedies this when he flips you over. Even in the darkness, you can see your liquids shining from his chin. With your gazes locked, Gavin takes the tip of his glove in his mouth, only to remove it only using his teeth.

         You groan at this display, knowing that it is purely to arouse you.

         After dropping both gloves to the ground, Gavin fumbles with the buckle of his pants. This gives you a moment to remove your dress and undergarments. They fly off into the room, and you turn your head to look at Gavin again. You are about to strip your soaking underwear when he catches your ankle with a strong grip. He raises your leg slowly and pulls off the lace with two fingers.

         The moment it falls from his digits, he rubs his cock against your entrance.

         Reaching up, you paw at him to coax Gavin to lean down. As he does, he inserts himself into you. You throw your arms around his neck and drag your nails against his muscular back. “G-Gavin!” you cry out. “Ahh… y-you’re…”

         He smirks against your lips at your meek works. “I’m… what?”

         “You’re stretching me!” The sentence flies from your mouth, and you clasp your hand over your lips after it does. Embarrassment makes you turn a bright shade of red, but Gavin only laughs at it.

         Leaning down, he kisses your hands and begins to thrust into you. “Good,” he whispers before standing up straight. As you watch him, Gavin holds your leg up and kisses down your thigh. His bed eyes pierce through you, and moans come tumbling out of your mouth.

         “Gavin… I won’t… last much at this ra-ahH!”

         The tip of his cock hits the spot that makes you see stars, and the words are lost to moans. His thrusts quickly become sloppier, but you fall over your edge again.

         In your dazed state, you feel his warmth fill you. He grunts breathlessly and curls over you when he cums, his nose buried in your hair.

         They two of you remain like this for a moment, but then he pulls out, causing his seed to run down your thigh.

         “Fuck…” he murmurs. Gavin turns around and pulls a few tissues from the box on your nightstand. He pats it against your leg, successfully collecting any exterior evidence of his release.

         You move slowly, sitting up before even thinking about doing anything else. Gavin takes a seat next to you, and you lean against him.

         Exhaustion rakes over your body, so you scoot backwards and slip under the covers. Gavin stands up and reaches for his underwear, but you stop him. “Aren’t you going to come here?”

         He freezes before turning around.

         You make room for him in the bed. “Stay here… until morning,” you add, trying to not sound desperate.

         Gavin lies down next to you, and you tangle your legs with his. Resting your hand on his chest, you nuzzle close to him. You don’t know exactly what to say to help him relax, so you stay silent. It is Gavin that speaks up. “I… didn’t expect this…”

         You laugh. “Does that mean you regret it?”

         “No!” Gavin replies sharply. “Not in the slightest,” he continues with a softer voice. He tucks his nose into your hair and kisses your gently. “I–I–”

         Tucking your head into the crook of his neck, you shush him gently. “Shh… I understand. I really like you Gavin.”

         If you had your eyes open, you would have seen him blushing. “Go to sleep. Don’t you have a meeting in the morning about the collaboration?”

         “Fuck!”

[a-damson-in-distress]

The Protégé 4

Pairing: MadaSaku

Plot: In search of a new cellist for his prestigious orchestra, an infamously feared maestro stumbles upon a young rising star.

The Protégé 1

The Protégé 2

The Protégé 3

Edit: I almost forgot to add this super important note: A thousand thank yous to my regulars who have followed this story from the get-go. There are a few of you who never fail to show their appreciation and never forget to leave an encouraging comment. Don’t think I don’t notice you, you stalkers ;). I am immensly thankful for your feedback and your comments, they keep me so motivated and give me a sense of validation, like this isn’t just some sort of private thing that I only create for myself and nobody else gives a shit about it. If five hundred people read my story without leaving a comment or anything and I’ve only got the few reviews from you guys, it’s still enough to show me that my work is appreciated. So thank you!

Note: For those of you who are as confused about orchestral stage etiquette as I am and have no idea what’s going on with the whole handshake thing in this chapter, here’s what I found out about it while doing research for chapter four: The first violinist in an orchestra is also called the concert master, he represents the entire orchestra and functions as a sort of “team captain” if you will. So whenever the maestro invites a soloist, the soloist is supposed to shake hands with the maestro (thanking him for the invitation basically) as well as the concert master (though there are variations to this, some only shake hands before the performance, some before and after, etc.). By shaking the CM’s hand, the soloist essentially thanks all of the other musicians for their collaboration as solo concertos are usually a group effort, and you know the soloist can’t go around shaking the hands of a hundred people so they usually only shake hands with the CM *gasp* wow that was a long explanation. Aaaaaaanyway, here’s a video of the concerto Sakura is performing in this chapter: Camille Saint-Saën’s Cello Concerto No.1 in A minor. 

Enjoy, have fun reading, let me know if you liked it, leave a comment, send a carrier pigeon, send a smoke signal, you know whatever floats your boat. You know the drill. 

                                                               ---------

“A little to the left. Chin up. Perfect, stay that way.”

Sakura had trouble not squinting her eyes when the photographer unleashed another onslaught of camera flashes upon her. She was currently in his studio doing a photo shoot for the orchestra’s and the theatre’s official websites. Her probation period was over, and they were only a week away from kicking off their tour after their first performance at home, so now the New National Theatre was going to officially announce her as the principal cellist of Maestro Uchiha’s ensemble complete with interviews, articles, videos of her rehearsals, and ridiculously over-the-top photographs.

The nickname the press had given her after her solo in Sapporo spread like wildfire, and the orchestra’s publicist decided to capitalise on her image as the Imperatrix Furiosa. So they put her in a majestic velvet evening gown dyed in a scandalous scarlet with a skirt wide enough to allow her to spread her legs to accommodate her cello on the throne-like chair she was currently sitting in. Her hair was tied up into an overly dramatic and intricate updo and fastened with fancy kanzashi hair pins that were sticking out in such a manner they made it look like she was wearing a crown.

The dress and accessories paired with the red lipstick and dramatic eye make-up made her look every bit the Furious Empress and the enticing femme fatale of Japan’s classical music scene the publicist wanted her to portray.

And Sakura hated every second of it.

“Do you think you have enough pictures now?” the young cellist asked tentatively while trying to hold her unnatural pose.

Deidara, the orchestra’s publicist, looked up from the laptop where her photographs appeared right after being snapped. “Just a few more, sweety. You’re doing great, though.” He gave her an encouraging thumbs-up and shot her an apologetic smile. Great, Sakura mused silently, she must have looked more uncomfortable than she thought. And here she was thinking she was good at hiding it.

“Seriously, though, we need to wrap this up. She’s got rehearsal in an hour, and Madara will chop off my head if his MVP is late,” Sakura heard the blonde publicist explain to the photographer. She sincerely hoped the heavy make-up was covering the deep blush she could feel spreading across her cheeks at his remark. Did her Maestro really tell the publicist she was his most valuable musician?

“No grinning, please,” came the photographer’s command from behind his lens.

Right. Stop daydreaming, Sakura reminded herself.

Straightening her back and schooling her features, the pink-haired cellist remained motionless on her make-shift throne. After a few more minutes of clicking, snapping, repositioning, and flashing, Sakura was finally free to get out of her dress and wash off all that make-up. She undid her complicated updo and gathered her hair into a high puffy ponytail. Putting on her pastel green boat neck dress with box pleats and slipping into her simple white ballerinas, she immediately felt more comfortable, like her young and goofy self and not the mature and seductive diva the photographer wanted her to be.

“Chop-chop, darling. Maestro Menacing is waiting for you.” Sakura was torn from her thoughts at the sound of Deidara calling out from the other side of the closed door. The young musician had to supress a smirk at the sound of the nickname she knew the publicist secretly used for her Maestro. He wasn’t entirely wrong, Mr Uchiha really could come across as menacing and unapproachable. But Sakura had gotten to know another side of him over the last weeks as well. There was a gentleness to him he only rarely showed, tiny little smiles of satisfaction and subtle gestures of encouragement. As much as she appreciated his constructive criticism, she loved his nods of approval and his well done, Ms Haruno’s even more.

And she couldn’t wait to prove herself to her Maestro during the upcoming tour and hope for a bit more of his praise she so selfishly craved.

After Deidara and Sakura left the photographer’s studio, they immediately headed back to the theatre where the rest of Maestro Uchiha’s ensemble was already preparing themselves for one of their last rehearsals before kicking off their tour. Sakura took her usual seat to the right of the conductor’s music stand. She was so busy tuning her cello, she didn’t even notice her Maestro approach his podium.

“Ms Haruno.” A deep voice made her look up in surprise and she was met with the sight of the raven-haired conductor casually leaning on the rail of his podium with his strong arms crossed in front of his broad chest, clad in a meticulous three-piece suit sans the jacket.

The young cellist prayed to God her blush wasn’t as visible as she thought it was.

“Yes, Maestro?” she answered in a small voice.

“How was the photoshoot?”

Sakura gave him a weak smile and chuckled softly. “Honestly? It was horrible. They dressed me up in this heavy, floor-length gown and backcombed my hair so much it looked like I had a bird’s nest on my head in the end. And I had so much make-up on I could literally feel my pores dying a horrible death by asphyxiation. Please don’t look at the photos once they upload them.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. But if it makes you feel any better, I will not go actively looking for your pictures. Though I have to admit, I would love to see a pink bird’s nest.” Her Maestro’s teasing grin made her giggle, and Sakura looked up at the raven-haired conductor with a huge smile on her face.

Just in that moment, she could hear the sound of a camera shutter from her left. Both her Maestro and Sakura turned around in surprise and spotted Deidara standing in the middle of the countless rows of seats with a camera in his hand.

“Finally. Do you know how difficult it is to get a photo of two people together who both hate to pose for pictures? You two are a publicist’s nightmare, but you’re lucky you’re so goddamn photogenic.”

Sakura turned to Maestro Uchiha and looked at him questioningly. With an annoyed eye roll, he explained, “Deidara said he needed a picture of the two of us together for our countless social media profiles. He wants to make a post about me welcoming you to the ensemble or whatever, and apparently, I cannot officially welcome you without a picture.”

His obvious annoyance with the blonde publicist elicited another laugh from the young cellist. Sakura watched her conductor narrow his eyes at her before his own lips spread into a tiny amused grin.

“Alright, that’s enough giggling now, Ms Haruno. If you keep enjoying my jokes like that, the other members of my orchestra might start to think I actually have a heart.”

Biting on her bottom lip to keep herself from chuckling at his quip and again hoping that her blush wouldn’t betray her, the young cellist focused her gaze on her sheet music and readied her instrument for the rehearsal. The other musicians took their seats as well, filling up the vacant space around Sakura, and fixed their eyes on the conductor.

Maestro Uchiha gave his final orders, raised his baton, and the musicians started playing.

                                                            ---------

“I finally got Naruto to accept my karaoke challenge. He’s going to do Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love at the bar tonight, you gotta come with us!”  

The pink-haired cellist looked up from her sheet music and was met with the face of her new roommate Ino, the principal clarinet of their ensemble. After her first rehearsal with the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra, Temari had introduced her to some people she claimed were the only tolerable ones, and Sakura immediately hit it off with the blonde musician. Not long after getting to know each other, Ino offered her to move in with her after her previous roommate accepted another job in a different city. Though some of her newly found friends in the orchestra, who had all known Ino for a long time now, jokingly advised her against it with the explanation that she’s bi and you’re annoyingly adorable and totally her type, she’ll eat you up and spit you out, Sakura hadn’t regretted a single second of being the roommate of the exuberant and feisty clarinet player.

“Sure, I’ll be there. I just need a minute to talk to the Maestro,” Sakura answered with an amused grin.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ino bounce up and down with excitement. “Yay, it’s gonna be so great. We always go out the night before our first performance, without any alcohol of course,” the blonde musician added in a loud voice, pointedly looking in Maestro Uchiha’s direction before continuing, “but still, you’re gonna have so much fun with us. I’ll see you at home. And don’t be late, missy, I still need to do your makeup.”

Sakura was met with the end of Ino’s perfectly manicured index finger pointed accusingly at her face before the blonde turned on her heel and strutted off the stage as if it were her own personal catwalk.

Gathering her things, the pink-haired cellist made her way to the Maestro, who was currently busy berating his principal percussionist Naruto for goofing around with his timpani sticks during a break and pretending to have a swordfight with his fellow players. She decided to wait for them to finish and came to a halt in the middle of the string section when she realised that their orchestra’s concert master Kabuto was seemingly also waiting for a word with their conductor.

The grey-haired violinist was one of the musicians who hadn’t even spared her a glance on her first day. But while most of them seemed to have come around in the meantime or have at least started greeting their newest member, Kabuto was still adamantly giving her the cold shoulder. Whenever she tried talking to him, Sakura was met with nothing but haughty looks and condescending remarks. Though she had to admit, the moments of interaction between them were few and far between, because Sakura tried to keep them to a minimum. Their concert master was clearly of the highly competitive sort, and Sakura had no intention of letting him drag her into a musical pissing contest.

And still, manners were manners, so the cellist forced a tight smile and greeted him.

“Hey, Kabuto. Excited for our first concert tomorrow?”

The grey-haired violinist slowly turned his head and looked down his nose at her. He studied her for a second with narrowed eyes, as if trying to discern whether or not she was worthy of an answer, before opening his mouth, “I’m sure you are.”

Supressing the urge to roll her eyes at his usual cryptic answer, Sakura instead ignored his remark and cleared her throat. “So um, every CM seems to be handling stage etiquette a bit differently, so I wanted to ask you how you want to do the handshake tomorrow? Before and after, or just after or do you –“

“Honestly, Haruno, I couldn’t care less about the handshake or your solo. But if this really is so confusing to you, why don’t you go ask Daddy for help? It’s not like our Maestro has anything better to do than take his new little girl by the hand and show her how things work around here.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Sakura could feel her cheeks heating up at his embarrassing remark, and she stared at him open-mouthed, stunned into silence. Luckily, she didn’t have to come up with an answer, since Kabuto was approached by another violinist in that moment, asking him whether he wanted to go out tonight.

“No thanks, I’ll be staying at the theatre for a while longer. I’ve got other plans for later,” the concert master explained with a devious grin.

After the violinist left, Kabuto made no attempt to address Sakura again, and Maestro Uchiha was still not done chewing out Naruto. Since she felt so incredibly uncomfortable in Kabuto’s presence, the young musician decided to grab her cello case and leave. Not even the prospect of talking to Maestro Uchiha for a few minutes was worth it, if it meant she had to spend another second in awkward silence with the concert master who seemed to hate her guts.

                                                              ---------

There was a ritual Madara had long formed a habit of going through before every concert he was going to conduct. It consisted of him mumbling every single articulation in chronological order of every piece of that night’s programme while he re-arranged the seats of his musicians on stage. Even though the stage crew of every theatre he ever worked at never failed to position everything correctly, the conductor still felt more at east when he could move every chair and every music stand to just the perfect spot.

Madara was currently contemplating whether to push a sax player’s seat half a centimetre to the left or to the right when he heard a commotion from backstage. He followed the noise to the labyrinth of dressing rooms where his eyes caught sight of three blonde musicians rushing from one room to the next, frantically looking for something.

“What do you mean, she can’t find it. It must be there!” Temari came rushing past him with a handbag before she promptly dumped its content on a table and started digging through it.

“I don’t know. When we got home last night, I asked her if all of her stuff was ready in the dressing room. She told me she checked everything three times, even tried on the shoes just to be safe, because she was afraid they gave her the wrong size.”

Madara watched his principal clarinet go through the countless makeup bags before she turned to another person in the hall. “Naruto, did you check the clothing racks in all the dressing rooms?” Madara’s gaze landed on the blonde percussionist who just entered the room with an apologetic shake of his head.

Clearing his throat to get their attention, the raven-haired conductor leaned against the door frame and let his gaze wander around the dressing room in which the three musicians were currently bustling about.

“Our concert starts in half an hour. I sincerely hope you’ll find whatever you’re so desperately looking for.”

Madara’s accusatory gaze met the desperate look of the blonde clarinet player before she approached him, grabbing his arm and tugging him down the hall.

“Maestro, you need to help us. It’s an emergency.”

Ino came to a halt in front of the closed door of another dressing room and knocked twice before letting herself in. Madara stayed behind, still unsure of what was really going on.

“Oh God, Ino, please tell me you have it, please! I need to be ready before anyone finds out, or before he finds out. Please, we need to hurry, Maestro Uchiha absolutely can’t know about this, or I’m screwed!”

Madara’s heart suddenly lurched in his chest at the sound of Sakura’s distraught voice so close to tears. He took a step forward and entered the room where he was met with the sight of his principal cellist dressed up in her concert outfit, a dark-green fitted pant suit, black patent leather Oxford’s, and a white blouse fully buttoned up – and missing a bow tie.

“Ms Haruno, what’s going on?”

She fixed her scared, wide eyes on him, and Madara was immediately hit with the urge to envelop her in his arms and assure her he’ll make everything right for her again.

The conductor couldn’t help but let his gaze be drawn to her beautiful mouth, invited by the sight of her teeth chewing on her bottom lip before releasing it to speak.

“Maestro, I’m so so sorry, but I … I can’t seem to find my bow tie. But I swear to God it was here. After the rehearsal and before I left the theatre yesterday, I checked if all of my stuff was ready like you told us and I swear to God my outfit was complete, I know I saw the bow tie with the rest of my clothes. But now it’s gone and we looked everywhere and I don’t know what to do. God, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry to disappoint you.” Her voice was shaky and on the verge of tears and Madara had to consciously restrain the urge in his feet to run to her.

He was just about to say something to comfort the distraught young cellist when he heard more voices approaching the dressing room. The maestro turned around to see a small crowd gathered outside the door, all asking and wondering what was going on with their youngest member.

“Nothing to see here, alright? Just looking for a lost bow tie. We’ll be ready any second now, so scram, got it?” The blonde clarinet player fixed the crowd with a stern gaze and waved her hands in front of her to signal the other musicians to disperse.

“Maybe we should help look? I’m sure we’ll find it faster that way. Then we can all get back to our preparations in peace.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Madara could see Sakura’s head shoot up and her eyes widen in surprise at the sound of his concert master’s suggestion. But before anybody could say anything, Kabuto had already turned around and left.

“I’m sorry for troubling you with this, Maestro. We actually promised Sakura not to tell you anything, but we really couldn’t find it anywhere after looking for so long, and now we’re kind of lost.” Ino’s apologetic gaze was shooting back and forth between the conductor and his principal cellist.

“It’s quite alright, Ms Yamanaka. I’m glad you told me. Now I can get to the bottom of this myself.”

When he saw Sakura’s worried expression turn even more desperate, Madara felt like slapping himself. That came out way more threatening than he intended it to. He was just about to clarify his statement when he heard a knock on the open door which made all their heads turn around.

Kabuto was standing in the doorway with his right hand raised, a bow tie dangling from the edge of his middle finger. “You’ll never guess where I found this,” he said in a casual tone, a barely visible smirk gracing his features.

Madara watched his principal clarinet cross her arms in front of her chest. “Oh I’m sure I will.”

Kabuto ignored her, instead stepping into the dressing room and approaching Sakura. “Somehow, it landed in a drawer of one of the dressing tables.” He slipped the bow tie off his middle finger, and Sakura barely had enough time to catch it. “Lucky for you I’m so thorough at everything I do.” He gave her what was probably meant to be a half-baked attempt at a sincere smile and then turned to face Madara, his fake grin widening, before he left the room.

The maestro’s eyes landed on the young cellist in front of him again, who was still staring after the concert master with a look of confusion. He glanced at his watch and cleared his throat.

“Everybody out. I need a minute with Ms Haruno.”

After her friends hesitantly left the room and closed the door behind them, Madara let his gaze rest on Sakura’s downcast head. It was then the maestro realised she was playing with the bow tie in her hand, tugging at it and turning it around between her fingers. She was nervous.

“Ms Haruno, look at me.”

At the sound of his soft command, Sakura slowly raised her head to meet his gaze. Madara had to supress a groan at the sight of her teeth chewing on her bottom lip again.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” her whispering voice pleaded with him.

“I’m not mad, Ms Haruno. I know none of this was your fault, trust me.” He closed his hands over her fidgeting ones and took the bow tie.

“Chin up.”

The young cellist just stared at him for a second, jade-green eyes wide with confusion.

Madara took a step closer to her, put a finger beneath her chin and forced her head up. He then proceeded to turn up her collar and fasten the bow tie around her neck.

“You’re not going to allow this incident to rattle you, you’re better than this and we both know it. Once I call you up on stage, you’re going to walk up there like you own the place, play your solo to perfection, and blow everyone away.” He gave her bow tie a final tug.

“Have I made myself understood, Ms Haruno?” Madara looked down at her with a strict gaze and a tiny amused smirk gracing his lips.

“Yes, Maestro,” Sakura nodded enthusiastically while smiling up at him with a look of pure determination.

“Good.” Madara grabbed her chin between his fingers and leaned closer to her face before murmuring, “I wouldn’t expect anything less form my protégé.”

He watched with satisfaction as a deep blush spread across her cheeks and her jade-green eyes widened in surprise, staring up at him with that look of wonder, reverence, and gratification she only seemed to have reserved for him, as if his praise was the only thing in the world giving her life meaning.

Unable to resist, Madara allowed his gaze to rest on her inviting lips for a split second before letting go off her chin and forcing himself to leave her dressing room.

His thoughts kept swirling around the young cellist even as he stepped onto the stage amidst tumultuous applause. The conductor had to admit that it was a good decision not to have Sakura join the ensemble for the entire programme but only for her solo in the last half hour; he probably wouldn’t have been able to keep his eyes from her. Though that wasn’t the original reason for not having her on stage for the entire performance. What Madara was really hoping to achieve with the late entrance of his principal cellist was to give her the grand introduction deserving of a musician of her calibre. After all, the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra was one of the most prestigious ensembles in the world of classical music, and Sakura Haruno wasn’t just anybody. And a good maestro knows to save the best for last.

Despite his mind being distracted with the image of her inviting lips only centimetres away from his own, Madara was still able to focus on the musicians in front of him as he led his orchestra through the concert’s programme. After they finished their second to last piece and when it was time for Sakura’s solo, he signalled his ensemble to quiet down, turned around on his podium to face the audience and grabbed a microphone.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, as you may have heard the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra has signed on a new member. As of this April, our vacant spot of principal cellist was filled with an immensely talented young musician from Kyoto. Though she doesn’t need an introduction, she’s going to get one anyway. She is an award-winning cello prodigy who was the youngest ever recipient of the first Grand Prize at the Rostropovitch Cello Competition at the age of sixteen. She studied under Takanori Nakano, Stjepan Hauser, and Steven Isserlis, to mention but a few. After establishing herself as a world-renowned cellist in her previous orchestras, she will now join us for our tour as the newest and youngest member of my ensemble. Ladies and Gentlemen, you will now hear Camille Saint-Saëns’ Cello Concerto number 1 in A minor with our new principal cellist Sakura Haruno as the soloist.”

Madara put down the microphone, stepped off his podium, and walked off the stage to where Sakura was waiting for him.

“Ready?” he asked with an encouraging smile.

She answered with a determined nod as her lips spread into an excited grin. “As I’ll ever be.”

The maestro signalled her to lead the way. As the cellist stepped onto the stage with her instrument in hand, the audience erupted into thunderous applause. Madara followed after her, clapping his hands like the rest of the guests and the musicians of his ensemble. He watched her bow deeply to the audience before turning to Kabuto and shaking his hand with a smug grin plastered on her face. She waited for Madara to step onto his podium before shaking his hand as well.

“Give ‘em hell, Ms Haruno.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see another one of her blushes he liked so much taint her cheeks as she took a seat and readied herself with a subtle, sincere smile gracing her lips.

Madara raised his baton while Sakura steadied her bow above the strings of her cello. They shared one last look, the cellist looking up at her maestro for guidance and the maestro giving her a tiny smile of approval. He nodded to his entire ensemble.

As the music enveloped the large concert hall, Madara could see Sakura sway in her seat, eyes closed and completely surrendering herself to her instrument. He knew in that moment that she was gone now, transporting her mind into whatever utopia she conjured up whenever she let go and allowed her music to simply take her away.

As easy as it was for him to get and hold her attention, the maestro had to begrudgingly admit that music still seemed to be the only thing able to ensnare her in a way he could not. He was going to have to change that soon enough, he decided.

But for the time being, Madara let her be. His protégé was lost to the world now, anyway.

[briteboy]

(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)

IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)

there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)

this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice

let’s f0cking do this

You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.

I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it

ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them

YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies

hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club

Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.

DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it

hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)

i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!

I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.

AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!

 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you

i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me

o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:

OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID

First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖

LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh

The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...

NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u

long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice

omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u

I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW

I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!

I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?

omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3

To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me

YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening

I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!

YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)

UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant

😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!

My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!

lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily

How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?

i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.

Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞

omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY

boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm

Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333

OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3

why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT

the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there

SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it

I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?

yes

I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend

ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!

omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!

OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.

*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!

ME TF TOO

every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like

OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )

hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD

THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!

hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs

hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!

TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*

MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333

lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.

heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!

This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.

yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.

when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?

i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could

Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅

yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)

Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)

OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS

U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)

i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.

I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!

no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die

Are they gonna fucc, o no

right now? no. that would be Very Bad

bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

oh same

Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍

thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!

You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?

i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)

how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..

hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah

What do you mean 9 + alt?

you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them

You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help

JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok

So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)

OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)

do you have any favorite pose creators?

answered

do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?

well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.

burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain

ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm

The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.

ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal

i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING

ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY

every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3

omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!

Molly: out Molly tatto: also out

why did this remind me of this post:

How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool

i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 

idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*

ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin

I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me

I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis

last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!

hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.

Da puppy is so cute!!!

That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry

Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love

NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;

OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB

SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that

THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)

Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.

for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)

Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3

i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)

i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb

THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands

what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?

1920x1080

For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade

do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up

Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??

i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe

Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333

that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3

is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it

yes and no

Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!

i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)

I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼

hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!

In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(

i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 

ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni

OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!

a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning

great! i look forward to it

can a steal ur talent

have it i don’t need it

What app are you using to make them cool edit things??

i tagged it but it was doodle face

omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful

you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear

[so-caffeinated]

I loved this week's chapter and the look into Ameliam as "friends"! You told me to mention the Amelia and Oliver flashfic after this weeks chapter, so here I am mentioning it...

lol… i completely forgot that i said this… OKAY, let’s flashfic it. Giving myself an hour and 20 minutes, no edits. Let’s see how this goes… 

November is colder than usual this year and the bustle of holiday shoppers in the streets is both fast-paced and well-populated. It’s a good sign for the economy, Amelia thinks, and she’s happy for it even if her focus is entirely on work. She’ll get her shopping done later. Or… well, probably her assistant will get it done for her, but presents will be bought and isn’t that the point? 

Passing the retail shops, she ducks into a higher end restaurant and slips off her hat and coat as she looks around. It doesn’t take long to spot the person she’s got a lunch meeting with. Oliver Queen has the sort of presence that draws people’s attention, after all. 

With six solid years in the state senate under his belt, Oliver Queen has increasingly become a man of influence in this state. He’s an ally you want and an adversary you don’t. As chief of staff for Central City’s mayor, Amelia’s found herself on both sides of that coin with him on various issues, but today is definitely the former and she’s glad for it. Going up against Senator Queen on anything is never a pleasant experience. Or, generally, a successful one. 

“Mister Senator,” she greets, as she approaches. He rises from his seat and shakes her outstretched hand clasped between both of his. 

“It’s Oliver, Amelia,” he corrects, looking more amused than is really warranted. “Unless you want me calling you Madam Chief of Staff throughout lunch?” 

She wrinkles her nose up at that and relents, taking a seat and a sip of the ice water already in place at her setting. “Fair enough, Oliver. We’ll play it your way. For now. But the minute we start talking about the corporate tax rate, I’m going back to Mister Senator.”

He chuckles at that and grins at her, the amusement makes him look a couple of decades younger for a moment. “Well it won’t exactly be a friendly meeting anymore then, will it?” he asks. 

“Probably a good thing that’s not on today’s docket,” she agrees. “Plenty of other things to focus on… like your pending crime prevention initiative. Central City is absolutely on board. The mayor likes what she’s seen of it so far, but we clearly have special considerations, given our population. Metas aren’t a huge percentage of our offenders, mostly thanks to The Flash, but the ones we do have tend to be violent. Talk to me about how we address that and then we can sort out how to lock down Stanley and Whitter’s votes. That’ll put pressure on McIntyre and Powers.”

They’re all business for the next hour as they map out details and fine-tune plans. By the time they’ve both eaten and are both savoring a truly fantastic French Press coffee, Amelia’s confident both that Oliver’s initiative will pass and that it’ll make a difference in her city. Not a dramatic one, of course. There’s no full, fast, or complete fix for crime. But even a tick in the right direction in a good move and she’ll take what wins they can get. 

Business is more or less concluded when her phone chirps and she means to just give it a quick glance and get back to discussing plans for the holidays but the message itself distracts her. 

God does it distract her and she bursts out laughing before covering her mouth with her hand to muffle the noise.

“I’m sorry,” she says, still grinning as she shakes her head at Oliver. “Sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” he tells her, one eyebrow ticked in mild curiosity. 

“Just…” she stops and shakes her head again, not sure why she feels compelled to explain. “Definitely not a text I expected.” 

She holds up her phone for him to see and his reaction is very nearly the same as her’s had been.   

But then, that’s not surprising considering there’s a photo of his son with a face full of very poorly applied makeup. He’s staring deadpan into the camera, his six-year-old sister’s hand barely visible in the frame, holding a tube of the brightest pink lipstick Amelia’s ever seen. 

Why is that so endearing? It makes her want to rush over and teach little Beth all about how to put on makeup, makes her want to guide the little girl’s hand as she uses Will as her model, makes her want… well she can’t even think about the rest of what it makes her want, can she? 

Just a friend or not, Will’s a painfully sexy guy and one of the most charming people she’s ever met. She can’t help being drawn to him. That’s been a problem from day one and, if she’s being honest, it’s worse now that they’re friends, now that she knows him. And seeing him like this? Like someone so incredibly devoted to his family, so willing to play the fool for their amusement… It builds a steady sense of longing in her that’s far deeper than attraction or that ever-present chemistry that zings between them. 

She wants to be there, wants to laugh and kiss that ridiculous lipstick off of him and knock them both over as she laughs against his lips. She wants… 

“What are you doing, Amelia?” 

The question is soft, lacking any sense of accusation whatsoever, but it snaps Amelia back into the moment. It’s only then that she realizes she’s biting her lip and staring at her screen with her finger tracing Will’s face. The idea that she let that much show in front of anyone, much less in front of Will’s father, is a bit terrifying. Later, in a more honest moment of soul searching, she’ll wonder if part of her did this on purpose, if some bit of her was looking for the conversation that followed. 

“I’m… nothing,” she says nervously, locking her screen and pocketing the phone. “I’m not doing anything.”

The weight of Oliver’s eyes on her is tremendous. It feels like it’s burning right through her and she knows his scrutiny sees everything there is to see, everything she’s fought to hide, even from herself. 

“Can we pretend for a minute that this isn’t a business lunch?” Oliver asks her. “As Will’s dad, I think it’s past time you and I had a talk.”

Amelia stares at her cooling coffee for a moment, letting those words rattling around her head before she nods and gives Oliver a sideways glance. “Sure,” she agrees. 

“I like you,” Oliver tells her. “But I love my son. And he’s in love with you.”

That’s a hell of a lot more sudden and blunt than Amelia could have expected and she finds herself sucking in a sharp breath and staring down at her lap as she fidgets with the edges of her napkin. 

“I don’t know what you’re doing,” Oliver continues. “I’m not even sure you know. But if you aren’t going to let yourself love him back, I’m gonna ask you to let him go.”

The very idea of that is like a punch to the gut and she finds herself nauseous at the words. She blinks rapidly to clear her vision before glancing back toward Oliver. There’s still no judgement there and for that she’s grateful. He’s just a father trying to look out for his son and it strikes Amelia quite suddenly how much she likes this entire family. 

“He’s my friend,” she defends. It’s thin and Oliver sees right through it. His face is all sympathy as he smiles sadly back at her and it’s almost too much to take. 

“No, Amelia,” he counters. “He’s not. He’s your road-not-taken. And he deserves better than that.” 

She doesn’t know what to say to that, so she says nothing. Instead, she looks back to her lap and wonders how, exactly, it came back to this. Thad or Will. She’s already made this choice. Made it more than once. So why, exactly, does it never seem to stick? What is it about Will - or about Thad - that keeps bringing her back to this decision. 

“I just want my son to be happy, Amelia,” he tells her. “And the longer this goes on with you two… If it ends up going nowhere, you and I both know it’s just going to hurt him. Neither of us want that. …Do we?”

“No,” she breathes out. “I don’t want to hurt him. That’s the last thing I want.”

“Then I think you know what you need to do,” Oliver tells her, standing up and straightening his jacket. 

But the truth of it is… she doesn’t. Because there’s a reason she keeps coming back to this, keeps finding herself questioning that same decision she’s already made. She’s been comfortable calling him a friend these last few months and there’s been a steadily growing seed of something at the core of their newly minted friendship that feels like it has deep roots already firmly fixed in her soul. And she thinks… she thinks maybe Moira was wrong. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Will is inadvertantly proving that to her every single day in little ways. Maybe if the best part of her day is when she FaceTimes him during a coffee break at work instead of a dinner date with her boyfriend at night, that says a lot. 

Maybe she needs to make a change. 

“Honestly, Oliver…” she says, looking up at him. “I’m not sure that I do.”