#edit: am i bad for thinking that's fucking hilarious

[beepbeepdespair]

me coming back from draft posting: well that was fu- *blackpool tower is on fire* OH GOOD HEAVENS

edit: STOP THE PRESS IT WAS ORANGE NETTING AHAHAHAHA

[teh-nos]

For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.

MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).

Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)

Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.

Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????

*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!

[furryprovocateur]

i have the personality type of someone who finds deeply horrifying things really funny if they're staged even slightly comedically. imagine getting so mad at this abused 12 year old that you start throwing textbooks at her and then tell her to die for being so abused. extremely funny in an awful way

last night i was losing it over shion throwing textbooks at satoko and telling her to go fuck herself and mark asked me what was so funny so i had to start out by explaining the whole "satoko and satoshi live with abusive foster parents" situation only to eventually get exacerbated and go "okay so she threw this girl against a wall and started beating her"

[alllgator-blood]

hymns of the unholy drops tomorrow, I'm gonna make a track tier list but here's my initial thoughts before it comes out:

This feels worthy of a "read more" just because there's no pictures to look at and it's four paragraphs. TL;DR the album is very cheesy but I'm literally so excited I'm gonna stay up all night so I can listen to the new album the second it drops. The overly critical part of my brain is telling me I shouldn't derive enjoyment from this album unironically but I'm not gonna obey, I am cringe and free and I'm gonna crank this shit with no shame cause it's the game I like...IN MUSIC FORm

[gif meant to represent me randomly busting it down leshy style when I'm home alone, and singing "THE END AWAITS AS THE OLD FAITH TAKES THE LAST OF MY KIIIIINDDDD" over and over]

The lamb's song was kickass and if I heard it in the wild without knowing there was a metal album for this game, I'd spontaneously combust from sheer excitement. It's instantly recognizable and that's kinda all I wanted from it tbh! I've mentioned before that I'm way more of a djent/shoegaze/sludge fan when it comes to metal rather than the genre these songs have been, but I'm literally so excited the bishops are getting some kind of inclusion in a project that I'm gonna crank this album even if it reminds me of the shadow the hedgehog game soundtrack. Tbh this one is so solid that if they JUST announced this one and didn't make the others, I'd still think it'd stand alone quite well for what it is! Edit: I said I'm cringe and free, why did I spend half this section dunking on the genre.....

Leshy's song..........was totally lame but in an epic way, like the first time I listened to it I thought it was fine! But when I actually read the lyrics I had tears streaming down my face from laughter. I screamed out loud when the guy basically says "btw my name is leshy :)", the lyrics are actually so fucking bad. But c'mon it's LESHY he's the littlest brother, if anyone got a corny ass song it should really be him. The shredding solo at the end is fucking hilarious and if he was in charge of his own song, he 10000% would request that specific ending. Musically, this one sounds the least like the source material so far but it's got that arpeggio from his + amdusias' theme and that's arguably the most iconic part. Also, "DAYLIGHT WILL COME UNDONE AS WE ECLIPSE THE SUN" is insane and is the best part besides describing his blindness as "ETERNAL NIGHTFALL"

Heket's song...........It has my favorite lyrics so far but the vocal work after the 40 second mark had to grow on me. I can't describe it but it sounds like that post grunge style and as a grunge fan, post grunge is my biggest opp in the music world. I was hoping they'd get a female singer for this but for heket specifically I can understand why they didn't. The actual lyrics in the song are fuckin badass, when it gets to the "MAKE YOUR PEACE, CREATURE" part I always turn it up to a deafening volume because it goes BALLISTIC. Genuinely my favorite part of any of these songs so far. I adore that her characterization in this song is layered and isn't just "I'm leshy, I'm made of plants or something and also I'm gonna kill you", it goes through her arc PERFECTLY imo!! Instrumentals in this one are better than the leshy song as well, I really like that they brought back the pitch bending/choppy sampling from the ost for this one

I'm on my hands and knees begging for the shamura song to be good, the leshy song had me worried but they came in clutch for heket. If they don't work in shamura's iconic lines from the game, I'm gonna cry inside I think- I'll forgive a lame kallamar song but ONLY if it's funny. Narinder's theme is gonna be hard to fuck up imo I have faith it'll be top tier

[dreamofbetterthings]

No Regrets Noah Sebastian x Reader

Prompt: "The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop."

VIP: Noah Sebastian

Band: Ban Omens

Summary: There's no such thing as a "calm" Halloween night, especially when hidden feelings are involved.

Warnings: It's gonna be a little spicy, but not full-on smut. Still, this is 18+ due to descriptive language and some curse words scattered about, so minors, please DNI. 

A/N

Hello everybody! I'm sorry that I dropped off the face of the Earth. I have an abundance of things going on in my personal life and I am trying my hardest to get through it all. I know in the last post I said chapter 3 of It's Been A Long, Long Time was coming soon. That wasn't a lie. It is still in the process of being edited. I'm working on a new uploading schedule for you guys, and a page redesign as well so if everything pans out the way I'm hoping, it will be put into effect starting next week. In the meantime, I have a couple of stories I'm planning on getting out before Chapter 3 gets released. This turned out a lot longer than I thought it was going to be, but I had an idea and ran with it. I've never written for Bad Omens before, so let me know what you think. Enjoy!

This is a fictional story about real-life people. Nothing that is mentioned in the story below represents who said individuals are, or how they act in real life.

Halloween night was always your favorite time to be around certain people, specifically the friends you called Motionless in White and Bad Omens. There was always something up their sleeve to turn the normal night into one that you weren't sure you wanted to remember in the morning. Luckily, tonight was the annual hangout at Chris' house this year, and you couldn't be more excited. Every year you all would get together at someone's house and pass out candy to the kids, then watch a couple of movies after the last stragglers came through. After that, came your favorite part of the night, Hide and Seek. It might seem childish, but watching a bunch of tipsy/drunk people try to stay quiet in a hiding spot was always hilarious.

 You were making another batch of popcorn when Chris walked into the kitchen. "Hey, we just put on The Lost Boys, just thought I'd let you know." You smile. "I'm not surprised. That's almost everybody's favorite." He laughs and grabs another bowl from the cabinet. "I know, that's why we put it on first, so nobody can complain about it later." The timer on the microwave went off signaling that the popcorn was finished, and you carefully took the bag out. You gave Chris the cooling-down bag and picked back up the one you set on the counter before he walked in. After emptying them and grabbing extra napkins, Chris brought the popcorn out to your friends who were talking through muffled and hushed whispers. Before you walked back into the room, he pulled you back for a second to whisper something in your ear. "I pulled the seeker for tonight. Unfortunately, it wasn't you. Maybe next year." You pout and then smile "Fuck, I'm never going to get picked." He laughs as you glanced around at everybody scattered in the room. 

Ryan sat with Justin on the loveseat. Folio was a drama queen and insisted he get his own seat. Nicholas, Vinny, and a few other of your friends, Florence, Nicole, Victoria, and Robert who were invited sat around the coffee table on the floor. Ricky, Jolly, and Noah were on the couch. Then, you and Chris got the two giant bean bags in the corner. The lights were changed to red and the TV just started the opening credits to The Lost Boys. You and Chris give the popcorn to Ricky and Nicholas respectively, everybody else having their own mostly full bowls, and grab your drinks before plopping back down on the bean bags. Folio rubs his hands together and smiles. "Now that our final two goofballs are here, who's ready to watch one of the best horror movies ever made?" Everybody gives some form of yes or a holler, and he immediately turns the volume up. As the movie plays, there is a small conversation here and there, and occasionally someone has to get up for a new drink, but you are relaxed and having fun. 

At about the halfway point of the movie, Noah gets up to get another drink from the fridge. On his way back, Jolly scares him, causing his wine to spill all over the floor and your sweatpants. "Jesus man!" The movie is paused and everyone's attention is on you guys. Jolly laughs and puts his hands up in defense. "Sorry dude, I had to scare you at least once today." He turns to look at you. "Didn't mean to ruin your sweatpants though, my bad." You wave him off. "It's no big deal, these were old anyway. You guys can keep the movie playing. I'm just gonna change into different pants real quick." You take a sip of your drink and get up from your spot to go upstairs. 

After finding your weekend bag, you huff as the extra sweatpants are nowhere to be found. Instead, you pull out a pair of spandex volleyball shorts and go to the bathroom. Noah hears the sink running upstairs as he's cleaning up the accidental mess he made by your spot. He throws the paper towels away and before he gets to the stairs, Chris quietly asks "You good?" He nods, telling the other singer he's going to make sure you're okay, and heads to your bathroom. He knocks a few times and after a couple of seconds, the sink cuts off and you open the door. You were expecting one of your girlfriends to be standing there, but instead, it's Noah. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I'm sorry about spilling on your sweats. I hope I didn't ruin them." Holding up the pants, you show him where the stain had previously been. "If these sweats can make it through one of your tours, they can certainly handle a little bit of wine. I just didn't want them to stain, since you drink the darker stuff." He chuckles and follows you back into the bedroom. 

You grab your shorts and get ready to put them on, but Noah points to your leg. "I didn't know you had a thigh tattoo." You glance at it and glance at him confused. "Really? I got it a while ago. I could've sworn I showed you when I got it done. Then again, I'm always in longer shorts, so it's not exactly easy to see." Setting them down, you turn to the side and pull part of your underwear band up, showing the last covered part of the tattoo. Looking up at Noah, you can see he's staring, but there's something else behind his eyes. Just not sure what it is though. You don't flinch when he reaches his hand out, but your skin gets goosebumps as his fingers ever so lightly trace over the ink on your leg. Everybody that came over tonight had seen each other in their undergarments or even completely nude before, whether by accident or on purpose. Hell, you've walked in on him changing plenty of times. 

So why did the room suddenly feel hot? 

It could be that you've had a crush on the man since you were kids. There wasn't anything not to like. His personality just made you want to be around him all the time. He's sweet and kind, and has a terrible sense of humor that only you two get. You could go on and on. He was just an all-around amazing person. You were so caught up in your thoughts, that you missed the hand that was snapping in front of your face. "Hello? Are you there?" Coming back to reality, you saw Noah looking down at you with curiosity. You quickly apologized and asked him to repeat what he said. "I said it looks amazing on you. The placement is perfect and it works great with the curves of your leg." You thank him and can't help but notice just how close he's standing to you. There's a tense silence for a couple of moments, and neither of you moves from your spot. You glanced at his eyes, then his lips, but immediately looked away. 

It felt like you were a school girl again, talking to the guy you've had a crush on for ages. You heard him mumble a "Fuck it" before he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. They were soft and tasted like wine, courtesy of the drink that led you here in the first place. You felt his hand move to rest against your cheek. His lips were gentle, almost as if he was savoring the moment, afraid it would never happen again. When the two of you finally pulled away for air, your eyes remained closed for a moment, before slowly opening them and meeting Noah's. The two of you looked at each other in pure awe before you let out a small "Woah" He laughed, and you looked down, feeling your cheeks become hot.

The thought of you being so flustered made him blush too. How was it possible for someone to be this cute? Your heart was pounding out of your chest, and you almost couldn't comprehend what just happened. "You know, for someone that always complained he was a terrible kisser, that was uh, really impressive." He could feel you now completely relaxed against him and he laughed a little, slightly embarrassed. "I'd say that I've had practice, but you already know my teddy bear in fifth grade doesn't count." The two of you laugh. Remembering his hand resting on your cheek, you look away and take a small step back. "I think we should get back to the movie. It's gotta be almost over by now, and I don't want them to yell at us for taking too long." He let out an uncomfortable laugh and muttered a "Yeah." 

You never noticed but Noah frowned slightly when you pulled away from him. He felt so comfortable being that close to you. As you turned to the door he realized something. He really liked you and didn't want this to be just a one-time thing, especially if it was going to make things weird between you afterward. He picks himself out of his thoughts just as you open the door. He walks across the room, taking your hand and silently closing the door. Standing there surprised, you ask him, "Are you okay?" It was now or never he told himself. "I'm sorry, I just..." He takes a breath before continuing. "I really want to kiss you again." You stand there just as surprised but decide to see just how far this could possibly go. "What's the problem then?" He lets go of your hand and brings his own up to hold your face. Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers. 

"The problem is, if I kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop." 

He obviously likes you, right? But this is your best friend. You've known each other for years. If he did like you this much, he would've told you by now, right? You two have been affectionate towards each other before, but there's a line neither of you dared to cross. If you crossed it now, you would rather do it with no regrets. It was better than wondering what could have been. "What if I don't want you to stop?" Noah tilts your head so you're looking him in the eyes. 

"Then I won't." 

He pushes his lips against you again, this time with newfound hunger. His hands fall and grab at your waist while yours go around his neck. Your feet follow his backward and you hit the edge of the bed. He pulls you down to sit on his lap, completely forgetting your lack of pants while he pushes himself further back on the bed. His tongue runs across your bottom lip and you open your mouth allowing him in. Your hands gently tug at the now-cut-short hair on the back of his neck and he grabs at your hip hard enough to leave bruises before pulling you even closer to him. Shifting your weight a little, your lower half sits directly on his hardening cock and he groans into your mouth. He pulls his lips away only for them to move down your neck. You tug at his hair a little harder and he sucks at the tender skin that connects your neck and shoulder. A moan leaves your lips and you mindlessly grind down against him. There was nothing that could prepare you for how right this felt. Like you were seeing a whole different side of him, hidden from the outside world, and for your eyes only.

Noah moved to whisper in your ear. "Quiet baby, wouldn't want everybody to hear us, hmm?" You shake your head no, but it doesn't matter as he kisses you again. "Hey, are you guys-OH MY GOD!" The bedroom door opens to see a shocked Chris looking at the two of you. Noah pulls away from your mouth, and the two of you look like deer in headlights. "I'm going to go... quickly." Chris walks away, before coming back and closing the door. You and Noah make eye contact for a split second, before the two of you look away, slightly embarrassed that you were caught. "Maybe we should go back before someone comes in again." He clears his throat and nods. "Yeah, that's a good idea." Carefully getting off of him, you stand up and let him off the bed. You both straighten out your respective clothes, and you finally put on those shorts. 

"Are you alright?" He nods and you get ready to walk toward the door. Noah runs his fingers through his hair. "Um, Before we go, I just wanted to ask...You don't regret any of what just happened, right?" You immediately shake your head no, slightly frowning. Maybe this was all a big mistake. "Not at all. Why? Do you?" He smiles and also shakes his head no before taking your hand in his. "Nope. No regrets." A smile replaces the frown on your face. You ask "Are you ready for them to never let us live this down?" He laughs and glances at the door. "That doesn't sound like such a bad thing to me." Giving him a nod, he opens the door and the two of you walk back into the living room where the rest of your friend group is talking amongst themselves. When they hear you guys walk in, it gets silent. Noah lets go of your hand so you can sit down first, and then goes to his spot on the couch. 

Nobody said anything for the first couple of moments before Chris broke the silence. "You guys fucked in my spare bedroom..." Instantly you and Noah sat up and shook your heads. Your voice and his overlapped and both of you tried to tell your friends that technically nothing happened. Once the two of you were finished explaining, the room was silent for another couple of moments before anyone spoke. The silence was starting to make you uncomfortable, but before you could say or do anything, Ryan threw his hands up and yelled. "Fucking finally!" This breaks the tension in the room and everybody starts laughing and giving you and Noah happy looks. You even saw a couple of people passing money around. Those fuckers bet on you and Noah getting together. When the commotion has died down, another movie has started, and everybody turns their attention to the TV. As you focus your attention on the screen, your phone buzzes, and you pick it up. 

Noah

"I was thinking later we could finish what we started in the spare bedroom?"

You smile at your phone and quickly respond before setting it down.

"Well, we're still playing Hide and Seek after the movie. I'm once again not the seeker, lol. If it happens to be you, don't go easy on me. Depending on how the rest of the night plays out, you might get your wish ;)"

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Noah readjust himself in his seat. He sends back a text almost instantly, and goosebumps litter your skin again as you read his last text.

Noah

"Oh, I won't. I like the hunt."

Nope, no regrets.

[foreverrandomwritings]

I’ve been watching Law and Order SVU. I have a couple things to say. I’m on season 11 episode 15.

1.I hate Elliot Stabler with every fiber of my being.

2.Olivia needs to fucking get away from Elliot Stabler he like suffocates her with his toxic masculinity.

3.Alex Cabot makes me irate I really really really don’t fucking like her.

4.Odafin Tutuola can fucking get it. I’m a slut for that man.

5.The only reason I’m watching this show is to get to Dominick “Sonny” Carisi and Rafael Barba. But by god waiting for them is like waiting for rain in a drought. I’ve seen edits of them and read a lot of fanfic about them before I even started watching this show. I need them so bad.

6.I once again really hate Elliot Stabler and he makes me want to punch him.

7.Munch is hilarious and I love him.

8.I think they took Chester Lake from us too soon, I wanted more of him.

9.Does Olivia Benson really need to be romantically involved with like every man that comes on the damn screen🙄

10.Just about every single A.D.A has made me have such an ick. Hopefully Barba redeems the title when he shows up.

11.I love Olivia when she isn’t hanging around Stabler.

12.I get that Olivia and Stabler are supposed to be a big bad iconic duo but they are just getting annoying as fuck.

13.I want more Olivia and Fin! They are so good together.

14.Why has Cragen not fired Elliot? Like he’s a constant fucking problem, he’s not even that great of a detective, just drop his ass.

15.Melinda Warner is a slay. I’d be between her legs for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

16.Give me more Ruben Morales! He’s very interesting to me.

17.O’Halloran deserved better. I wish he’d remained alive. I miss him😩

18.Trevor Langan is hot as hell and I wanna take him for a ride.

19.I am fully in love with George Huang in like a completely platonic I look up to him kinda way. I want him to be my bestie.

20.I didn’t mind Novak but hated that they reused an actress that was arrested and convicted just like a season prior or whatever.

21.I wish Dean Winters was still around, I think him and Fin would have a blast fucking with Munch.

22.Why Kathy hasn’t left Stabler and stayed away is beyond me.

Added:

23.I love Ken, if anything happens to Ken I’ll riot. Ken deserves to be protected at all costs.

24.If Fin told me to sit down l, I’d be sat. There’s just something about him🤤

25.Has Elliot slept with like every partner other than Olivia?

26.I do not ship Olivia and Elliot. Sue me. I don’t care.

[mirrorball-leclerc]

let him be a trophy husband!

series masterlist

isabella perez they've put it together.

logan sargeant no. they think it's reputation (daphne's version) not a new album.

isabella perez whatever logan. anyways. how are the grammys?

max jones-verstappen I'M BORED!

zoya torres i suspect he'll end up drunk by the end of the night. mae jones-verstappen to be fair, he was life this at the fia prize giving ceremony. daniel jones-ricciardo he always gets drunk at things like this.

pierre gasly why are you people on your phones? you are at the grammys put them away!

mae jones-verstappen commercial breaks exist you french fuck!

rowan todd forgive him, he's never been to one.

pierre gasly because you've never taken me with you. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GO TO THE EMMYS! BUT CHARLES DID?

charles leclerc that's because i know how to behave in public.

carlos sainz why are people on twitter acting like i got fired midseason?

isabella perez they're dramatic like that. you guys thought i was bad, the twitter girlies are worse.

oscar piastri to be fair, you cried over dropping a churro one time.

lando norris i don't like it here anymore.

bailey winters SOMEONE JUST ASKED HIM HOW MANY RACES HE WON!! HE WALKED AWAY EMBARRASSED! LOGAN'S LAUGHING AT HIM!

isabella perez watching lando get made fun of on live tv by trevor noah is hilarious.

lando norris this shit isn't funny isa!

arthur leclerc "here we have 3x world champion max jones-verstappen, 8x grand prix winner daniel jones-ricciardo, and teammate to rookie of the year, lando norris."

oscar piastri can i laugh?

lando norris I'M ENTERING MY REPUTATION ERA!

charles leclerc maybe win a race first

daphne jones-ricciardo can you people behave?

lewis hamilton don't bother daphne, there is no controlling them.

freya vettel lando no wins can't even escape being made fun of at the grammys

lando norris oh fuck off vettel

mick schumacher don't forget no rizz. it's a miracle bailey took him back

bailey winters it took a lot of convincing.

penelope trevino ZOYA! YOU LOOKED BEAUTIFUL ON THAT STAGE!

logan sargeant I AGREE! THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND! zoya torres aww thank you. nat helped pick out the dress. natalia ruiz THAT'S MY DAUGHTER!

lance stroll hey, does this mean charle is officially a grammy winner?

charles leclerc in my mind i have been since folklore lando norris first driver to win a grammy before a drivers championship charles leclerc at least i've won a race esteban ocon gagged him!

fernando alonso none of you know what the word decorum means.

daniel jones-ricciardo and you do? mr. i'm going to sniff flowers mid-interview

fernando alonso at least i can say that i've never commited crimes like seb. multi-21 anyone?

lance stroll THEY LITERALLY CALL YOU WAR CRIMINAL! sebastian vettel SPYGATE ANYONE? rhys jones HE'S A WAR CRIMINAL LIKE ME!!

rhys jones so, what'd i miss?

ollie bearman the hamilton x hamilton edits on tiktok isabella perez I LOVE THOSE!! logan sargeant HOW DO YOU NON=AMERICANS KNOW ABOUT HAMILTON? isabella perez i love musicals!

fernando alonso hamilton x hamilton? are they putting lewis on a boat with himself

lance stroll he means are they shipping lewis with himself? rhys jones NO! THE MUSICAL BY LIN MANUEL MIRANDA! fernando alonso who? lance stroll now he's just trolling.

rhys jones anyways, new album?

mae jones-verstappen yes, the dead poets society daphne jones-ricciardo THE TORTURED POETS SOCIETY! mae jones-verstappen YOU SHOULD'VE NAMED IT SOMETHING ELSE! rhys jones I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT WHAT THE HECK DAPHNE! THE PEOPLE WILL BE CONFUSED!

liked by maejonesverstappen, arthur_leclerc, lilymhe and others

daphnejonesricciardo all's fair in love and poetry...new album THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. OUT APRIL 19 🤍

📷: danieljonesricciardo

comments have been limited

isabellaperez mother ate with this one y'all!

landonorris i am ready to cry to this one.

baileywinters THE PEOPLE AREN'T READY!

redbullracing just in time for the chinese grand prix!!

danieljonesricciardo hey! i'm responsible for the cover art! i did that!

↳ daphnejonesricciardo yeah you did!

rhysjones geez daph, put some clothes on! as your little brother i don't need to see that!

rhysjones I'M KIDDING PLEASE DON'T CANCEL ME! I LOVE MY SISTER! I'M JUST A BABY!

↳ georgerussell so now you're a baby but when it comes to teasing lando you aren't a baby?

↳ rhysjones I CAN PICK MY BATTLES RUSSELL! THE DAPHNE GIRLS ARE WILD!

maejonesverstappen oh the people aren't ready for this.

charles_leclerc i definitely need a good cry album. this will help

↳ carlossainz55 i'll join you buddy!

maxjonesverstappen1 WOO! GO DAPHNE!

nataliaruiz WE WILL BE STREAMING!

lewishamilton it's going to be amazing daphne!

visacashapprb we will be streaming mrs. jones-ricciardo!

yukitsunoda0511 LET'S GO!! WOO!! GO DAPHNE!!

↳ daphnejonesricciardo thank you yuki! hope you like the new album!

↳ yukitsunoda0511 are you kidding me? i will adore it!

fernandoalo_oficial how many songs are about our whirlwind romance daphne? 🤣

↳ daphnejonesricciardo i plead the fifth! 😅

↳ danieljonesricciardo BACK OFF FROM MY WIFE FERNANDO!

↳ fernadoalo_oficial it's not my fault! blame the internet!

lilymhe YAY! I GET TO ANNOY ALEX WITH MORE SCREAM SINGING!

↳ alex_albon you could never annoy me

↳ lilymhe and we will be having a conversation about keeping this a secret from me mr.albon!

↳ alex_albon I WAS SWORN TO SECRECY!

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strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! new taylor swift album people! how we feelin?

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[kaija-rayne-author]

Did Solas actually kill Felassan?

It's interesting to me that, as objectively bad as DAV is, Felassan was noticeably not in Solas's regrets.

Spoilers for all dragon age materials, games, comics, and books included.

Obligatory 'I'm not an asshole' disclaimer. Feel free to jump to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I was on media blackout while I played DAV. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Note. None of my writing on DA, but especially DAV, is edited. This is just my off the cuff writing. I don't have the time, energy, or heart to edit them properly.

So did Solas kill Felassan? If you asked probably 99% of the fandom, they'd look at you funny and say 'of course'. You can call me deluded, it's fine. I legitimately don't care. I know that most people in this Fandom love to think Solas killed Felassan. (I have my theories on why, too, but that's another post.)

But ya know what? Solas would barely even be questioned if it were a modern setting. And unless the trial were rigged, he'd never be convicted of it. Yet the Fandom just loves to crucify the character.

I mean, there's plenty of other things he's definitely done that you can hate on if you want. He's never been all that shy in admitting he's a bloody handed rebellion leader. I think if he'd actually killed his friend, it would've been one of his biggest regrets. It's not like the elf has very many FFS. And I think he would've sadly admitted it too, if anyone had asked.

So why don't I think Solas killed Felassan?

There. Is. No. Proof.

So, look. I have a background in bioanthropology and forensic chemistry. Crime scene work. I honestly think the whole thing about Solas and Felassan is a Weekes twist.

1. It doesn't make sense that Solas killed someone who was spoken of as his friend. Not someone who served him.

2. Would Solas be capable of it? Yes. He's an antihero character. As such, he's capable of killing even a romanced Lavellan if she gets in his way. That's what an antihero does, they (usually, when written with any sort of competency) have a Goal TM. The only thing that can be allowed to matter to a true anti-hero character, before the goal is complete, is The Goal. I just don't think Solas actually did it.

3. I didn't want to believe Solas had killed Felassan. (Feel free to let me know, politely, if there was incontrovertible evidence in Veilguard, cause no way in hell am I playing it again unless someone pays me. A lot. It won't really matter to me, because DAV doesn't exist and is not Canon as far as I'm concerned because of the bad writing and disrespect of the Lore.) But you can tell me if he actually admits it or is shown doing the deed somewhere. So I went searching and analyzed everything. I can't find a lick of substantial proof that Solas definitely killed Felassan.

4. But it also tickled all those old crime stuff senses I spent so long training to do. My kids think I'm hilarious to watch true crime with, because I scoff at everything authorities missed re:evidence, a lot of the time. I have a gift for it, and misogyny drove me out of STEM.

Anywaaaayyyy.

Weekes has said several times that they love to write the kind of twist that 'was right in front of you the whole time'.

I don't honestly think Solas killed Felassan. And I have actual reasons why. Other than, I didn't want my blorbo to have done that. It just doesn't make sense. I don't generally have a problem with anti-hero characters being murderous fucks in pursuit of their goal, because literarily, that's kinda part of their purpose as an archetype.

Do feel free to look all this up for yourself, I have annoted notes on it all, but the big bad happened in Masked Empire. Felassan is an interesting character, I enjoyed reading the book (3x).

Motive: Felassan didn't get the key to the Eluvians to give to whoever he served.

Actions: Felassan knew he'd be killed for disobedience. He catches a rabbit, roasts it, gives himself a last meal, considers staying awake to avoid his employer, and decides an ancient Elvhen needs more courage than a 'stripling human'.

He tosses herbs on the fire, lays down, and dreams.

He wakes in the Fade in the same wintery forest he went to sleep in. He feels his dangerous employer nearby and starts talking.

He tells employer that he didn't get the key, which is a fib, because he chose to not take the key from a young elf he mentored.

He senses his employer knows that's a lie.

He tells employer he feels the modern elves deserve a chance.

He compares Briala, his mentee, a decidedly 'defines self as woman/female elf', to employer.

Employer crunches through leaves behind him.

'He never felt the blow that killed him'.

It never, anywhere, says 'Solas killed him'.

1. Felassan's body wouldn't be dead, it would be tranquil and still asleep in the cold forest he went to sleep in. That's what happens when a spirit is killed or separated from their body in the fade. This is deeply established Lore (as is the fact that tranquility is cureable.) Solas, even on a technicality, couldn't have killed Felassan cause he's tranquil, not dead.

2. Felassan compared a decidedly female elf to his employer. Solas isn't straight for any reason but misplaced 'avoid evil bisexual trope'. He was originally written as bi, but he's definitely more on the masc side of things, gender and sex wise. (You could make a case for him to be non-binary too, that would make a lot of sense, but that's a headcanon, not proof.)

3. Wolves move silently through bracken, like dried leaves. And all throughout DAI, Solas is shown as pretty graceful and easy moving. It's not hard to walk relatively quietly, if you're abled, through dry leaves. You'd kinda have to not care to crunch through them. Or want someone to hear you coming, which is a very un-Solas like power move. "He comes in humble guises".

4. Felassan wears Mythal’s Valleslin.

So, quick side jaunt on the Vallaslin. They aren't just pretty decorations. They're not make-up. They're called 'blood writing' and heavily implied as a method of control over the branded Elvhen by the Evanuris in the Lore.

So. By wearing Mythal’s Valleslin, he's sworn to her, and likely serves her.

Mythal is also a dreamer. (Or even lives in the fade like a lot of other Evanuris did.) It's implied in the Lore, that almost all ancient Elvhen were somniari, and definitely all of the Evanuris. She's still in Flemyth at the time of the murder. Flemyth hasn't ever been very pleasant and, y'know, not murderous. If you've played through all three games, the ones that actually were good, written decently, and that mostly followed the Lore? You'd know Flemyth isn't an awesome person. Mythal is even bloody worse.

Whatever you think of Solas as a character, he doesn't outright lie except for once in DAI. During WEWH. (Obscure, obfuscate, deflect, mislead, yes! Outright lie, based on the dictionary and philosophical definition of a lie, no.) And I don't believe in the 'lie by omission' nonsense. Why everyone thinks they have the right to know every little thing about someone else immediately is beyond me.

All circumstantial evidence points toward Mythal and away from Solas. (Except people love to hate Solas, so of course, everything a decidedly not awesome ancient, uber powerful mage with a god complex does is his fault. Makes perfect sense because he's eeeeevvvvviiiillll. Ripest of Sarcasm and glares at Epler, Creative Director of DAV. )

Solas has also been shown to be someone who listens to his few friends. He listens to Inky, Varric, and Bull a few times in DAI. So it's also odd that Felassan's employer wouldn't even consider listening. That Felassan knew he'd die rather than be listened to. Felassan is Solas's friend, ergo, he'd have been likely to at least listen.

Solas is also shown as someone honourable 'I have distracted you from your duty, it won't happen again'. 'I wouldn't lay with her under false pretenses'. When you're honourable, you kill an enemy face to face, not a stab in the back. Mythal? Yeah, she missed the honourable boat by oceans.

Oh! But what about Cole's line in Tresspasser?

To be completely frank, so many of Cole's comments are 19th/20th/21st century TV, game, movie, and book references, I don't know why anyone gives his commentary any weight at all.

So, Cole's line is, "His friend had to die. Because he thought they were people. A slow arrow breaks in a sad wolf's jaws"

You could take it on face value, sure. But, you'll pardon me if I think it's silly for anything Cole says to be considered fact on face value alone.

So let's break it down, assuming (possibly incorrectly) that this comment has anything to do with Solas.

His friend had to die. Sure, I guess? But this doesn't tell us who killed him. Simply that Solas knows Felassan is dead. And again, Felassan is referred to as Solas's 'friend'. Not servitor. Not employee. Friend.

Because he thought they were people. Unless I'm mistaken, the 'real people' line is another one of Cole's, just from DAI, not Tresspasser, so we're making an even weaker case by stacking a comment of Cole's upon another comment of Cole's. Talk about confusing. Also, Real people was a tv show. Real People (TV Series 1979-1983)

It could also easily be social commentary on the dehumanization of people in... so many ways and cultures historically and even up to today.

A slow arrow is definitely a literary reference.

"THE SLOW ARROW OF BEAUTY. The noblest kind of beauty is that which does not transport us suddenly, which does not make stormy and intoxicating impressions such a kind easily arouses disgust but that which slowly filters into our minds."

Friedrich Nietzsche

"Fate's Arrow, when expected, travels slow."

Dante Alighieri

So if it’s a Dante reference, Weekes is alluding to Fate. If Nietzsche, Beauty.

Based on the fact that so many of Cole's comments are references, I'm going forward assuming 'slow arrow' to be a reference.

Beauty/Fate breaks in a sad wolf's jaws.

The veil is considered beautiful, and Solas is intent on destroying it (because in the Lore, it's actually destroying Thedas, sucking the life and magic out of it. Which would matter, John Epler, a lot! *bombastic side eye*)

It could also be a reference to Lavellan in a romanced Lavellan playthrough. Solas destroyed or rejected the beauty of love. Or even fated love, by leaving her behind.

Sad wolf is also a literary reference. Likely to one of these poems. (Given our degrees, Weekes and I probably had to take very similar classes. I originally went to uni to be an English teacher.)

"The Wolf" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Lo! the calm moon comes forth!—The sad wolf howls!

He seeks his fellow in the hungry night.

With fiery eye—how red his mouth is!—howl

The lonely wolf, for, lo!—he is not there.

So if we want to go with Tennyson, the reference could imply that Solas tried to help Felassan... which, yeah. Mythal is also a twat of epic proportions. That wouldn't have worked.

This quote feels relevant to me. "The wolves in the woods have sharp teeth and long claws, but it’s the wolf inside who will tear you apart."

Jennifer Donnelly

Sad wolf could then be a reference to Solas's feelings. If Felassan was his friend, he'd be pretty torn apart by his death, no matter how it happened. Yet, it's still not among his regrets in DAV. Even though an entire story in Tevinter Nights is focused on his regrets surrounding his time in the Inquisition. (IIRC Felassan isn't mentioned there, either.)

From a literary perspective, this one also feels relevant.

The wolf changes his coat, but not his disposition.

Traditional proverb

Solas is many things, but he's always Solas. Why would he do something so out of character as kill a close friend? (I'll even tell you a motive for why *Solas* might’ve killed Felassan. It's well established in Solas's character that he abhors betrayal. I suppose you could technically call Felassan's support of Briala a betrayal.) Still doesn't make sense to me. Because it actually is out of character for Solas to hurt what few friends he actually has. But, enh, you could call it motive. Do NOT get me started on the ham-handed writing and the fate of Varric Tethras in DAV. Epler has already said they only had him in the game so Solas could kill him and it would make the player hate Solas more. Didn’t matter to Epler whether it was in character or not. And it's not. Solas saves Varric in the comics. Numerous times.

1. That failed. Ugh. What a shit end for Varric. An author killed by bad writing.

2. Fucking bad writing ruined DAV.

I've rambled enough. I guess my point is that I'd love it if more people would think about things they saddle heavily neurodivergently coded characters with. It's not harmless.

The very first demographic blamed for a violent crime are neurodivergent people. Usually, the first is Autistic people. (We're almost hardwired to not hurt people. We tend to be the white knight tilting at windmills type. It takes a lot to push one of us to violence.) It can be done, but to automatically assume it's an autist is ableist and harmful.

The second group blamed are the mentally ill.

Statistics don't support that either. Neurodivergent people are guilty of 3% of violent crime. All the rest of the 97% is on all you neurotypicals.

And a final fun fact. Fel'assan isn't that elf's name. 'The elf known as Fel'assan' is a quote from Masked Empire.

Blah, blah, recovering from pulmonary embolism, partner recovering from broken back, money is tight if you've anything to spare. www.kaijarayne.com

[wondereads]

December Reading Wrap-Up

The Villain Edit by Laurie Devore (★★★★☆)

I saw this author speak at Yallfest, hence why I decided to branch out quite a bit from my typical choices. The Villain Edit is a contemporary romance about a failed romance author who goes on a Bachelor-esque show to drum up sales for her backlist. She has a one night stand the day before production starts, who turns out to be a producer on the show. As much as this has the premise of a romance novel, I would consider it a contemporary novel with a strong side of romance. The focus is by and large on the development of the main character, Jac, as she struggles with her personal issues and starts to crack under the spotlight. I did enjoy the romance—even though the "love triangle" has a completely obvious end, Devore does some fun things with it—but I would have been perfectly content if Jac ended up alone, as long as she came to terms with herself.

Jac is a decidedly 'unlikeable' character, in both the show and the book, but she's highly entertaining to read about, and I felt a lot of empathy for her. She makes so many bad decisions and is unfailingly rude, but she rarely felt grating, even if I was banging my head against my steering wheel as I listened to the audiobook. There were some moments that felt a little misogynistic to me, but I think it was just playing into the dehumanizing aspects of reality tv. Even though this book is outside of my comfort zone, I had a great time with it, and it did a good job maintaining tension throughout.

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (★★★★★)

I am always blown away by how Tamsyn Muir constructs such intricate plots. I've read Harrow before, but I was still astonished by how neatly everything came together, each mystery playing into the others (I also have a crap memory so I forgot a lot of the book). Of the three Locked Tomb protagonists, Harrow is definitely my favorite. She's not 'funny' like Gideon or Nona, but she's snarky in her own way, and I have a soft spot for overachievers. She's also ridiculously competent and dedicated, and it's incredibly satisfying to see her always take it further than anyone thinks she will (soup).

Since I wasn't panicking about what the actual fuck was going on like the first time I read this, I got to slow down and take in more of the side relationships a bit more. Augustine and Mercy are both hilarious characters in their own right, and it's only multiplied when they're put together. I am an Ianthe hater (this would all be over if it wasn't for her), but she's just as compelling a character as everyone else. And then there's Jod. Fuck Jod. Anyway, on a technical level, Muir's writing is just breathtaking, with serious, flowery descriptions cut with hard-hitting, simplistic statements, occasionally lightened by humor that would be out of place in any other story. What an amazing book.

More books under the cut

Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (★★★★★)

It took me a while to decide to give Nona five stars. Not because it isn't a spectacular book, it is, but because I experienced so much emotional turmoil while reading it that I wanted to withhold a perfect rating out of spite. Paul?? You can't put Paul in a novel and expect me to reward you for it. And yet it's all so good there's no other option. I'm actually quite furious with myself that it took so long to catch on to what was happening. I've still got absolutely no clue how necromancy works, but it was very interesting to learn its origins, only recorded through Ye Olde Twitch.

I was very excited to see the return of a fan-favorite character. I was a bit worried she Came Back Wrong. She probably did a little, but for the most part it just seems like her own, genuine decision to behave in this way in some semblance of a quarter-life-crisis. The first half of the book is rife with amazing new relationships, though I am hesitant to describe it as found family as it only lasts around 300 pages before quickly becoming lost family (that's not a spoiler, Muir would never let anyone be happy). In terms of the worldbuilding, beyond the origin story, it was so interesting to see what life is like outside of the Nine Houses, and there are many new mysteries introduced. I think the thing I most want to know more about is what the hell is going on with the Resurrection Beasts. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I wait news of Alecto eagerly.

For She Is Wrath by Emily Varga (★★★☆☆.5)

This started off as a very strong book. The story revolves around Dani, who used to be the daughter of an esteemed swordsmith before she was framed for the murder of a warlord and sent to prison. She is able to break out of said prison with the help of another young girl who just so happens to have a secret stash of magic. Dani puts this magic to use to disguise herself in order to infiltrate the royal court and take revenge on all who ruined her life—especially her former paramour, Prince Mazin..

I really liked Dani, the main character, and her pursuit of vengeance is a classic tale, even if this weren't a retelling. The very beginning is a little convenient (really, of all prison cells?), but once Dani is able to start working toward revenge I was hooked. I found the magic system intriguing, the romance had a lot of good tension, and it was incredibly satisfying to see the execution of said revenge. The big issue I had with this book was pacing. I seriously thought this would be the first in a series; it felt like there wasn't nearly enough time to do everything the characters wanted to in just over 400 pages. However, in the last 100 or so pages of this book, so much happens. A character is kidnapped and saved, an ill-advised bargain is made and broken, a big betrayal and a big reunion occur, on top of like seven other plot points. These major plot points, which would usually be given at least a full chapter if not multiple, were being cycled through with only a few pages each, not allowing the reader, or the characters, room to dwell on what was happening. It was so disorienting and unsatisfying that I docked what could have easily been a 4.5/4.75 star read down to 3.5.

The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik (★★★★★)

I don't really have much new to say about this one; I remembered it pretty well, I just reread it for potential use in my thesis. It was tough to stay focused on the actual reason I was combing through instead of just underlining every time El and Orion were in the same room. I continue to be obsessed with their relationship, even years after the series has ended. My favorite part of this book is probably the Scholomance itself; I love that it is shown to be somewhat sentient, even if it is only to fulfill the parameters of its creation. I honestly wish we could have gotten more of it as a character in its own right, but I know the plot wouldn't work otherwise.

The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik (★★★★★)

This one was a bit different. Still reading for my thesis, but I honestly forgot a good bit of the story, so there were some twists that surprised me once again. Novik is not subtle about the magical world being an allegory for ours, the fortunate creating problems (pollution, poverty, etc.) for the less so and needing to be forced to do something about it. The only truly fantastical thing about the whole situation is that El truly can single-handedly force them to care, which is quite cathartic to read. While there are a lot of new characters and relationships introduced in this book, and I'm a fan of all of them (particularly El and Liesel), my favorite is El's mom. Her and El play off each other well, and it's interesting to see the woman El constantly brings up in her narration.

Threads That Bind by Kika Hatzopoulou (★★★★☆.75)

I was not anticipating this book to be so good! Threads That Bind follows Io, who uses her skills as a Fate-born, allowing to see the threads of fate, as a private investigator in the city of Alante. Her latest case leads her to a run-in with an inhumanly strong and half-crazed woman who wields her own cut life thread as a weapon. Investigating the mystery leads Io to criminal gangs, up-and-coming politicians, and her own absent sister, all involved in something dark in the city's past. I think the mystery of this book was very good; I definitely had my suspicions for the ultimate culprit (and there were some red herrings that just felt unnecessary), but the process of Io discovering the truth was highly entertaining and it wasn't completely obvious.

I also loved the magic system! The idea of characters being distantly descended from various mythological figures, giving them appropriate powers, was very interesting, especially since it isn't the typical demigod approach. My favorite part of it is that the powers come in sets of siblings, each one playing a different role. For example, of her three sisters, Io is a Cutter, representing the Fate that cuts the threads of life, which allows her to sacrifice one of her own threads to cut someone else's. The worldbuilding is also one of my favorite tropes, which is that it seems to be Earth but far in the future, after some sort of climate disaster. I hope the rest of the series explains more of the history! Io herself was mostly a likable and easy-to-root-for protagonist. My one gripe with this book was that she felt a little too perfect sometimes, a lot of her mistakes and failings coming from her rough upbringing, not necessarily her personal flaws. Still, I enjoyed reading about her, and I really liked the romance. Her and Edei have a pretty natural progression from allies to friends to lovers that doesn't feel rushed, which is often an issue I have with YA romances these days. There was one thing I was hoping would happen, but I'm holding out for the sequel (the title, Hearts That Cut, bodes well). Overall, I really enjoyed reading this book, and I'm looking to get the second one soon!

Wolf Siren by Beth O'Brien (★★★★☆)

Can't say much about this one, it's unreleased and I read it for work, but it balanced an understandable middle grade writing style well with the heavy topics it addresses.

Forged by Blood by Ehigbor Okosun (★★★☆☆.25)

This one was a bit of a disappointment. Forged by Blood tells the story of Demi, an Oluso who can wield magic in a land that has forbidden it. She is hired by a lord to kidnap the prince of her kingdom, Jonas, in a deceptive bid to get him a higher position that would hopefully benefit her people. Demi does so with the help of her close friend, Colin, but a wrench in their plans requires them to go on a bit of a journey with the prince. This book isn't really advertised as such, but it's absolutely a romantasy, not a high fantasy. Demi's world is an unsubtle allegory for colonization, the northerners having overthrown the original royal family and oppressing literally everyone else. This is a typical plot, but it's not the unoriginality I have an issue with; it's the fact that the romance kind of neuters the whole metaphor. In an attempt to allow Demi a romantic relationship with Jonas, prince of her oppressors, the story has to take a whole forgiveness-and-collaboration approach to what is basically colonization, and it just misses the mark.

In general, I wasn't a huge fan of the romance in this book. There are a lot of plot gaps that clearly only exist to make room for popular romance scenes, and the romance just wasn't good enough for me to forgive that. I was sort of into it in the beginning, but that was more the concept; the characters don't really have much chemistry. The thing is, I really enjoyed Demi and Jonas as characters (Colin less so, he was clearly only there for love triangle drama). They're both passionate and dedicated, which the romance doesn't really add to. The magic system is also interesting, based on Nigerian mythology, but the book doesn't dwell on it as much as I'd like. Overall, there wasn't really anything egregiously wrong with this book, but it wasn't nearly as good as it could have been.

The Poppy War by R. F. Kuang (★★★★★)

Another thesis reread!

Impossible by Lyra Cole (★★★☆☆.75)

This book is an omegaverse about five incredibly damaged people. Indie is an isolated girl with an intense eating disorder who discovers that she is an omega. In this world, omegas and alphas live in relative secret, making the transition difficult for her on top of her psychological struggles. Meanwhile, Hollis, Joshua, Leon, and Risk are four alphas whose pack fell apart in a mysterious, violent 'incident,' leaving them all traumatized. Normally books like this shy away from the impact PTSD and depression can have on someone's life. Impossible doesn't sugarcoat how flashbacks and severe depression fuck with a person's psyche, which I really appreciated. This is first and foremost a romance book, but it still allocates a decent amount of time to discussing the characters' problems and their healing process.

Other than that, there is a loose political undercurrent in the story, things that have far too serious implications for an omegaverse romance duology. Concerning that, I would have appreciated more happening; I was anticipating a bit more conflict coming from that area. The romance itself is pretty good; Indie and Leon by far spend the most time together, so their relationship develops the most naturally. The others feel a bit rushed, but I still like them. The book feels a little vague and directionless, but I enjoyed the characters and romance.

Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey (★★★★☆.5)

My longest read of the year tells the story of Phedre no Dalaunay. In the country of Terre D'Ange, there is one precept valued above all others: love as thou wilt. D'Angelines have a unique desire for beauty that presents itself in art, governance, and, crucially, sex. In the Houses of Night, which worship Namaah, sex is their method of tribute, and Phedre, sold by her mother to Namaah's service, has known all her life what she is meant to do. The only thing out of the ordinary about her is a red mote in her eye, Kushiel's Dart, which marks her as someone who experiences pain and pleasure as one. A noble, Lord Delaunay, takes notice of Phedre and purchases her indenture to then train her in the art of espionage. Her position allow her into places typical spies have no access to, and her skills loosen her clients' tongues. But Terre D'Ange is unstable, and her subterfuge leads her into a conspiracy to take a kingdom.

For a book published in 2001, this book is astonishing pro-LGBTQ and sex-positive. It portrays an understanding and healthy depiction of BDSM, draws a tasteful line between consensual sex work and rape, and boasts multiple characters that are openly queer. It's more politics and arranged marriages that get in the way of relationships than gender. This is also a complex and compelling political fantasy, pulling in court intrigue, diplomatic relations, and pretty good accuracy for medieval Europe (the map is just Europe, Terre D'Ange is France, it's not subtle). Phedre herself is a wonderful protagonist; she is dedicated, headstrong but clever, and knows how to utilize her talents to the best of her abilities. She has multiple entanglements throughout the course of the novel, but there are two main relationships, both of which were wonderful to read. One is a deadly dance, exploring the lines between love and hate, and one is complete devotion as the two go through hell together. Even for a book that discusses sex so openly, there actually aren't many sex scenes and most take up very little space; don't go into this one expecting a ton of smut. My only complaint is that the story does drag at times; it is over 1000 pages. I would read the trigger warnings before picking up this book, but otherwise I highly recommend it if you're looking for an in-depth political fantasy.

Otherworldly by F. T. Lukens (★★★★☆)

This was a cute, lighthearted paranormal romance between a goddess' familiar and a teenager who doesn't believe in magic. Ellery's region of the world has been stuck in an eternal winter for five years, but they might have a chance to save their city (and their family's farm) when they meet Knox, a familiar who's gone rogue for the chance to live his own life for once. The deal is simple: Knox helps Ellery discover why their Goddess has abandoned them, and Ellery helps Knox experience normal teenage things. Lukens has always been quite good at writing these cozy fantasy romances; they use magic tropes well to further the romance. I've previously had issues with them creating a world that 300-page romances just don't have time to explore, but this one was pretty self-contained and I didn't feel unsatisfied at the end.

The romance itself is very cute; Ellery and Knox play off each other well, and the story doesn't feel overly contrived or too rushed. I do think it's a little ridiculous that this one area of the world has been trapped in winter for five years and Ellery still doesn't believe in the supernatural. Oddly, it was the skepticism that broke my immersion. However, once they get past that, I thoroughly enjoyed the story. If you're looking for cute, fantastical romances, F. T. Lukens is a great bet, and I've enjoyed every book from them I've read.

[cantwritethetword]

Biceps? Really?

Fic Descript: Superman finds out Batman has a very odd ticklish spot, and of course has to tease Bruce half to death over it.

~A/N  - HELLO ONCE AGAIN

Look at me being somewhat consistent with uploads SDJFHKALSDFJHKH amazing what meds can do

I've had these requests in my inbox for aaaaaages (im so sorry) and I feel like I can finally write something for them.

Prompts were:

Please excuse the typos and the "it's ok that this will be s(H)ort" cause that was back when I was like super burnt out AND unmedicated lmao so I was like OH JUST A LIL FIC YOU CAN DO IT but this will be a proper one lmao

Also lmao forgive me for the super boring title I couldn't think of another one.

EDIT: ALSO AGSKAGSKAGD ILL HAVE IT BE KNOWN I USE DARK MODE ON MOBILE THIS WAS ON MY LAPTOP AND IDK HOW TO GET TUMBLR TO BE DARK MODE ON LAPTOP HENCE THE WHITE SCREENSHOTS THANK YOU THAT IS ALL

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: @constanteyeburn

Masterpost Link 

"I still..." Bruce huffed as he lay on the floor, glaring at his partner. "Don't get... why you're still so surprised... every time we do this."

Clark, the absolute puppy dog, was still beaming after launching yet another random tickle attack on Bruce. Since first discovering the Batman's hilarious (and quite frankly adorable) little weakness, it was like crack for Clark. Any time he had the opportunity, he launched himself at Bruce and just started squeezing. And, because Bruce was just that damn ticklish, the poor superhero couldn't last ten seconds before crumbling into a flood of chuckles.

"I don't know." Clark grinned. "You don't seem like the ticklish type, is all. Never have."

Bruce rolled his eyes, before starting to stand up. "I am not the ticklish type."

"Uh, oh yes you are!" Clark laughed, reaching to grab Bruce's arm. "And where do you think you're going?"

Normally, Bruce's response to this would be a swift bat (hehe) at Clark's hand to push it away from him as he stood, and an even swifter escape before Clark decided to go for round 2 (it had happened before, and Bruce swore he would've passed out if Clark hadn't taken pity on him).

But this time, whatever way Clark grabbed Bruce's arm, sent electric shivers coursing down Bruce's side. Bruce let out a yelp, and half-collapsed onto one knee.

Clark gasped, his face like a kid on Christmas morning. "No way."

"Clark." Bruce's eye's widened as he pieced together what had just happened. "That wasn't-"

"Wasn't what?" Clark interjected, pulling Bruce closer to him using the aforementioned grabbed bicep.

The tugging motion pressed Clark's fingers right into Bruce's muscle again, forcing a symphony of strange noises, squeaks, and choked laughs out of the absolutely screwed superhero. As Bruce fell, Clark expertly manoeuvered him onto his back (for the second time that day) so that Clark could kneel on his forearms.

"What the hell Kent?" Bruce grunted, pulling his tough-guy facade over his currently anxious and flustered self. "Let me go."

Clark chuckled. "Oh no, we're investigating this."

Bruce cursed under his breath. He remembered Clark's methodical tickle monster days all too well. When Superman himself had him pinned to the floor with no hope of escape, and took his sweet ass time tracing and prodding with various numbers of fingers on any tickle spot that came to mind.

This time would be no different. Clark began with his thumbs, massaging small circles into the very center of Bruce's muscle.

And holy fuck did it tickle.

Bruce's entire torso tried to lift itself off the floor for a moment, his eyes wide in shock at just how bad it was, before his body slammed back onto the floor and flailed. His legs kicked a ticklish drum beat as the highest pitched giggle either man had ever heard escaped his lips.

"Wow you're ticklish here!" Clark laughed over the noise. "I can't believe this is even possible!"

"SHUTUP!" Bruce shouted between bouts of hysterics, twisting his hips from side to side to alleviate the torturous sensations.

"Seriously though," Clark continued as if nothing was even happening. "Ticklish biceps? You've got to be kidding me."

"CLARK!"

Superman nodded to himself, resting his hands on his thighs. "You're right, you're right, it's time to move on to something else."

Bruce gulped in mouthfuls of air before registering what Clark was implying. "No-... wait-..."

Ten feather-light fingernails touched down right above Bruce's armpit and paused for a moment, soaking in the anticipation. Clark didn't have a chance to start moving before Bruce broke into deep streams of laughter.

"Really, Batman?" Clark taunted. "Breaking that easily?"

"Fuhuhuck ohoff."

Superman rolled his eyes, before trailing down Bruce's biceps from elbow to underarm. That singular smooth movement upped Bruce's laughter by a few pitches, a good sign for what was to come.

Clark lifted his hands and reset them back to their starting position on Bruce's arm, before letting his fingers begin their descent once more.

Except this time, each finger took its turn to softly trace up a few inches before lifting and straightening again while his wrist moved further to Bruce's elbow. Like two gliding spiders, Clark's hands pulled downright squeals from Bruce.

"NOHO!" The Batman pleaded. "I CAHAN'T- CAHAN'T TAKE IHIT!"

Smirking, Clark tutted. "Oh come on, you're usually so tough!"

But, now that he thought about it, Bruce was rather red by this point (and not just from sheer embarrassment). And while it certainly was fun tormenting the usually far too stoic superhero, the fun could wait for another day.

Clark wasn't forgetting about this any time soon.

[tyetknot]

I thought you were joking when you said that the Farrar's books were outdated but holy shittt, even for 1970s wicca/witchcraft those guys were like full gender heterosexual white magic ye harm none thing, I was also seeing their interview were christian kids interview them, and boy it is hard to watch, but on to my question kskk, do you know if they changed later down?,like Janet seems to be okay sometimes,I can't find anything of them on their "controversial views" except their later polyamorous relationship (wich come to think of it I would love to hear their gender rationale on that), and also, how do you personally (if you do so) reconcile this type of author?, like there is no doubt that they are important in craft history, but now they kinda do more harm than good.

Hi Anon! I'm sorry if you've been waiting for a bit, you know how Tumblr is.

So one thing it's important to remember is: back in the 1970s and 80s a religion where women run the show was very progressive. Feminism got bolted onto Wicca pretty quickly once it hit the American West Coast and Starhawk wrote The Spiral Dance. Things like worshipping a goddess who didn't need a man around to tell her what to do were really unusual for the time. All this hippie-dippy shit like being naked in your rituals and such was far out, man, not like those totally square and boring Christians.

The problem is that, like many older people who were once cool and progressive, they just kind of stopped where they were in the 70s and 80s and didn't really......well, progress past that point. This leads to things like statements like that one in A Witches' Bible where they think that actually gay people are perfectly OK in ritual (this was a bit of a controversial point at the time) as long as they act like their biological gender, which is hilarious to us in 2024 because they obviously conflate being gay with being trans in some bizarre fashion. This was progressive for the time. It comes across as incredibly ignorant today. And of course, if their ideas did change, well, the book is already out there, people are reading it, and you can't go back in time and change something that's already been published. You can add notes or amendments to further editions, but I don't believe they ever did that, and Stewart Farrar died in the early aughts.

I find the polyamory thing to be pretty cringe, NGL, because I am a judgmental and suspicious piece of shit and think that an awful lot of the time polyamory is a tool used to make younger women sexually available to older men - good Lord, the age difference between Stewart and Janet - and that's very distasteful.

In my opinion the Farrars are probably the stodgiest and most conservatively-written books you'll find from that time period, and they're a good example of what coven-based Alexandrian Wicca looked like at that time, but there were a lot of more relaxed writers out there at the time and LOTS more a few years later. My primary complaint with A Witches' Bible is rather specifically that asinine Oak King / Holly King thing which they made up entirely and then ineptly shoehorned into the Wheel of the Year, where it just doesn't fucking work, and then everyone else just kind of went with it. No! It sucks and is bad, don't do it!

Do I think they do more harm than good? No, I don't. I think that anyone fairly new to Wicca shouldn't read this book first thing out the gate because it sets a lot of very unrealistic expectations, and because it's pretty old - Eight Sabbats for Witches was published in 1981, which makes it a few years older than me, and The Witches' Way in 1984, which makes it a year younger than me, and TBH there's much newer and fresher material being published every year. I would much sooner recommend someone like Thorn Mooney to new person interested in traditional Wicca.

[enemyofrome]

Hi hi! I am nearly halfway through my reread of Livy and figured that was a good place to pause and share some nonsensical and silly thoughts lmao

- Book 22 is the Ultimate Book of Trashtalking. Seriously, so many people get fucking nailed in this book, very entertaining.

- 23.22 kills me so much because Livy looooves to write out the longest fucking speeches to the point of making some up, but when it comes to Carvilius’ speech… just a summary will suffice. Guy’s playing favourites and he’s not even subtle.

- 23.23– Buteo man that you are lmao. Average Twitter user, gave his opinions on the state of affairs and then dipped. Mad lad.

- My edition has a typo in 23.26 and I genuinely thought I was losing my mind attempting to decipher if ‘svanihed’ was a word or not. My dad and I (who both have literature degrees) were puzzling over the page for a couple minutes before we decided it wasn’t, in fact, a word and that we weren’t just stupid. It’s… vanished, it’s supposed to be vanished ;-;

- 23.31– I think the bad omens sections are some of my favourite. They’re so much fun to me, ‘this went wrong and this went wrong, and this was so fucking weird that it had to be an omen of Something.’

- 23.47– When I was about twelve, I had an eccentric teacher who would quote “a gelding in a ditch? I think not!” frequently, so this passage has always been very dear to me.

- 24.2 has one of my favourite, very blunt footnotes which sums up the entire account, I think: “Livy exaggerates this.” Ain’t that the truth.

- 24.4– “It had not been easy for a man in his ninetieth year, surrounded, as Hiero was, day and night by feminine blandishments”… I don’t remember why I highlighted this, truth be told. Perhaps just because it’s a funny phrase, perhaps because we should all strive towards having more feminine blandishments in our lives.

- 24.34– All I have written for this is, ‘in comes Archimedes with a steel chair!’ and I think that’s beautiful.

- 24.42– “However, the family of the Barcae were born fighters and it was in their blood to set a tottering cause on its feet again”… another passage which sums up the entire proceedings, I think.

- 24.49– “This is the only occurrence of that year in Spain which is worth recording.” My only note on this highlighted passage is ‘sassy bitch,’ and again, that’s beautiful.

- 25.3– Shipwreck Scams are very entertaining to me personally. “These two scoundrels, taking advantage of the assumption by the state of all risks from tempest in the case of goods carried by sea to armies in the field, had been reporting imaginary shipwrecks, while even such losses as actually occurred were often due not to accident but to deliberate sabotage.” That’s so fucking funny on its own, but the way it’s narrated makes it all the more better. And then: “The tax-farmers, seeing they would get little support from [Casca], determined to wreck proceedings themselves. Shoulder to shoulder, like troops breaking through the enemy’s line, they thrust their way into the space left by the crowd when it was ordered to stand back, hurling insults as they went at people and tribunes alike.” ICONS.

And, unrelated to the actual content of the text, I got this copy at a used book store and it has the wonderfully delightful smell of old pages (it’s from the 70’s and likely hasn’t been opened since then) and someone had left an old airplane boarding pass within the pages, which I now use as a bookmark! Feel very much like a voyeur of some kind but it’s so neat.

That’s all for now! None of my notes have been terribly insightful or academic, but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless

YEAH my favourite thing is when livy gets snide about (insert roman scapegoat of choice). and when he's like, "in this year x consul died and y battle happened. also, someone gave birth to a two-headed baby." sinister auguries my beloved. i remember thinking the ship insurance scam was absolutely hilarious. two thousand years and people haven't changed at all

the edition i have has a foreword and annotations by dexter hoyos and at one point he accuses livy of writing historical fiction. which, valid.

ty for the update, i always enjoy hearing thoughts on dumb romans and the punic wars <3

[lockandkeyhyena]

it's midnight here im home alone and This. is my entertainment. it's giving those old "be my bad boy", "every time we touch", "criminal" edits. that's you and these men. and yes imagining this has absolved you because it's hilarious

im never going to live this down am i. i’ll be in a nursing home and someone will come up to me and be like “oh my god its you” and i’ll think they’re a fan of my animations, but they continue- “the guy who wants to fuck ben shapiro!” and im so mortified i just die on the spot

[noffy96]

Okay. I haven't seen a lot of people talk about it yet. Because I have a feeling a lot of people are dropping of tsams because of what happened in the last arc.

But I really wanna talk about old moon for a second. Because I've been really liking these past few episodes.

But first. I must say i am pretty bummed that I am getting this after how nexus/new moon had been handled. I think it could have been done way better. And I am not surprised it left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouth. No matter how you look at it.

But I am not gonna hold that against what old moons character (for now)

While I would have liked a bit MORE out of a reaction from sun. I am kinda glad they are taking this more calm/detached approach.

It feels like we get a bit of calm after weeks of angst and stress that was surely needed. Also it gives old moon a few times to act on trying to do better in small ways and succeed. Before getting to get put in front of a BIG desission again. And seeing if he will fuck up big time. Small time or not at all.

Personally I would like it if he fell back, but not all the way. But we'll see how it goes.

In absolutely LOVE how awkward he was with earth

Just you could feel it dripping of every second of that conversation. And just the fact that we learned through this that he can't cook was hilarious

. And how he interacted with dazzel as well.

Just being fascinated by her. And just...at the end that sentiment of "I don't know what you are. But I want to help you find out"

I dunno it felt very sweet.

Him getting drunk with Monty was fun. Glad to see them still being friends and have a person he is not so stilled with. (Also hope sun gets to find out and tease him for it. )

And then there is how he is interacting with sun. Sun still seems distant. Sun is seemingly just trying to go through the motions and getting him up to speed. But emotionally not fully checked in.

So far, sun hasn't called moon brother again....at least I don't think so? Just moon. And I think it kinda shows that despite sun being friendly and willing to at least mend things. He ain't there yet.

But old moon seems to be trying, and legit trying. He still runs his mouth and seems to notice when he might even on accident be putting sun down. So much so he might be a bit... overcorrecting with the ' I don't mean you by that' type comments.

And he is involving sun. Telling him about the new lap. Showing him. Giving him the option to get his magic back About what he plans to do for dazzel. Not hiding that he is doing something for Monty. Wanting sun along to look for the thing ruin made.

And him talking to sun about KC and earth misconception despite saying initiallu that telling him might not be the best idea.

(also just most of the lab episode was really nice. Conversations still feeling strained...yet reaching over the smaller. Easier to talk about gaps. When the big ones feel so big)

I just.

It feels to me. That he is LEGIT trying. And while I dont love how we got to this situation. I do like these moments. They feel good.

I am excited to see more of that develop. I am still hesitant on als the stuff that is gonna have to come to pass with nexus/new moon and dark sun.

But right now i am liking this. And wanted to ramble positively about the show for a bit.

This show makes me feel crazy with how contradictory it can make me feel on certain espacts of it.

While sorry for the long rambly post.

Just needed to get it out of my system sorry about any spelling mistakes. I blame my phone. My autocorrect and the late hour.

Okay...bye

Edit.

Also just the whole family doing d and d was fun. And I wanna see more (and as i saw some people say. There is still a spot on that table for solar to join. And yes. Leg him join family game night)

[merpisi]

my opinion that nobody asked for, tldr at end:

the bit was absolutely fuckin hilarious. for like the first 30 minutes. then the major wtf dude like this is funny and all but i was told that it was gonna be hlvrai2. and like. wtf dude. kinda like dick move there but its whatever.

another thing, i saw a bunch of fictives and shit in chat pre-stream and i was like “WOOOOO YAY !!!! HYPE !!MY FELLOW BENRYS!!!!” and gir (at least i think it was gir i dont remember shit man) made a joke saying like “delaying stream cause i saw the word fictive.” and i was kinda like what the FUCK dude????? like obv a joke and shit but what the fuck????? sorry for existing idfk????? i did not get so damn traumatized for that shit man.

dont be a dick to gir btw. (im pretty damn sure it was him but i didnt get a screenshot) honestly hosty boy was more upset about it than me lol. and i don’t expect people to understand fictives. and having some rando being all like “ya no i AM this character you created actually” sounds pretty fuckin weird!!!! but like that in combination with the bate and switch was like, “holy shit they do not give too shits about us” kinda feels yk? prtty irrational and entitled feels ik, but that what feeling are dipshit it came free with your fuckin consciousness bro

tldr; bbvrai was a great joke with bad execution, not mad bout dat rlly. but also gir was accidentally ableist (emphasis on accidentally, dont be a dick)

VERY IMPORTANT EDIT THE MOST IMPORTANT EDIT EVER: it was baaulp not gir i fucked up reblog this version PLEASE

[historitor-bookshelf]

Finished Lelith Hesperax - Queen of Knives just now... after putting it aside for freaking ages because I am bad at this. Well, technically I didn't want to carry it around to read it in the subway and then I just couldn't read it in bed because pretty and... so it sat.

Anyway. I had the suspicion that Mike Brooks took the job after writing Da Big Dakka and sort of falling in love with Drukhari and their thinking so to speak. Because that sub plot with Dhaemira Thrax was just so fucking good and fascinating and its themes are continued in Lelith Hesperax. The contrast between Cormorragh's cut knife dog bites kills dog world and individuals allowing themselves to show vulnerability.

And a part of me thinks it's just hilarious that the two recent Drukhari stories (written by the same author and I am counting Da Big Dakka for that) are love stories. Well, to a decent degree at any rate. Warhammer Romance struck earlier than we all thought.

What I do think the novel lacks is consequence. Lelith stakes her claim to fucking Vect's face but... nothing much changes. Of course, that's probably because she needed to be playable both for the Ynnari and Drukhari on the tabletop but I expected a wee bit more. Then again, she is a free spirit and any leash on her would be only there until she doesn't want it anymore on her.

Anyway, good read, definitely not regretting getting the special edition. I hope Mike Brooks continues writing Drukhari. And Orks. And Dark Angels. Please. And maybe add some more to the Ynnari...?

Which reminds me - what is Yvraine thinking of all the Lelith shenanigans? Wonder how she will react to all of that - especially because Lelith is responsible for the death/Drukhari enslavement of some of her followers...

Then again, Lelith did kill her once.