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Jon Snow, Manfred & The Byronic Hero: Part 2

Previous Posts: PART 1

Hopefully Part 1 served as a good introduction on the topic and characteristics of the Byronic Hero, as well as how Jon Snow in particular is likely an iteration of this figure. But now we come to the real meat of this meta series — a closer look at Byron's dramatic poem Manfred (1816–1817), and more importantly, its titular character in comparison to Jon Snow. I was originally going to do an analysis and comparison of two key episodes in Manfred and A Storm of Swords, Jon VI, but have since decided to give that its own post... that's right kids, there will be a part 3!

(Detail from Lord Byron, Thomas Phillips, 1813)

So... why Manfred? Why not Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, or The Corsair, or Don Juan, or any other work by Lord Byron? Well, I'll tell you why, my sweet summer children. It's because of THIS:

Manfred/Manfryds and Byrons in ASOIAF, by order of first appearance and publication:

Ser Manfred Swann (ASOS, Jaime VIII)

Ser Manfred Dondarrion (The Hedge Knight)

Manfred Lothston (The Sworn Sword)

Manfryd o' the Black Hood (AFFC, Brienne I)

Manfryd Yew (AFFC, Jaime V)

Ser Byron the Beautiful (AFFC, Alayne II, TWOW, Alayne I)

Ser Byron Swann (ADWD, Tyrion III)

Manfryd Merlyn of Kite (ADWD, Victarion I)

Manfryd Mooton, Lord of Maidenpool (The Princess and the Queen, TWOIAF)

Manfred Hightower, Lord of the Hightower (TWOIAF)

Manfred Hightower, Lord of the Hightower (Fire and Blood)

Like... what the hell, George?

I find this very interesting, very interesting indeed! *cough* intentional, very intentional *cough* And I have to thank @agentrouka-blog for reminding me of the existence of these Manfreds/Manfryds, and thus pointing me in this particular direction. This evidence is, for me, my smoking gun, it's why I feel justified in exploring this specific work. In my opinion, it really strongly confirms that GRRM is aware of Manfred, he is aware of its author — as a literary name, it is pretty much exclusively connected to Byron, it's like Hamlet to Shakespeare, or Heathcliff to Emily Brontë. In fact, GRRM likes it enough to use this name several times in fact, its frequency of use aided by a slight variation on its spelling.

So, as we can see, there are a striking number of Manfred/Manfryds (9!!) featured in the ASOIAF universe, whereas Byron (2) is used a bit more sparingly — perhaps because the latter, if more liberally used, would become far more recognisable as an overt literary reference? Interestingly, though, we can see a direct link between the two names as both bear the surname Swann: Ser Manfred Swann and Ser Byron Swann (note the exact spelling of Manfred here, as opposed to Manfryd). Ser Byron was alive during the Dance of Dragons and died trying to kill the dragon Syrax, whereas Ser Manfred was alive during Aegon V's reign and had a young Ser Barristan as his squire. So, in terms of ancestry, Byron came before Manfred, which makes sense since Lord Byron created the character of Manfred; he is his authorial/literary progenitor, if you will.

But why Swann, though? Is there any significance to that surname? Well, I did a little bit of digging and turned up something very interesting, at least in my opinion. In Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem Lines written among the Euganean Hills (1818), in its sixth stanza, the poet addresses the city of Venice... the “tempest-cleaving Swan” in the eighth line is clearly meant to be his friend and contemporary, Lord Byron, that city’s most famous expatriate:

That a tempest-cleaving Swan Of the songs of Albion, Driven from his ancestral streams By the might of evil dreams, Found a nest in thee;

(st. 6, l. 8-12)

Ah ha! But let's not forget that the Swanns are also a house from the stormlands — stormlander Swanns vs. "tempest-cleaving Swan." It seems a nice little homage, doesn't it? You could also argue that the battling swans of House Swann's sigil are a possible reference to Byron's fondness for boxing (he apparently received "pugilistic tuition" at a club in Bond Street, London). But to make the references to Byron too overt would ruin the subtly, so it isn't necessary, in my opinion, for the Swanns to be completely steeped in Byronisms.

All in all, it would be very neat of GRRM if the reasoning behind Byron and Manfred Swann is because of this reference to Lord Byron by Shelley. How these names and the characters that bear them might further reference Byron and Manfred is a possible discussion for another day! It's all just very interesting, very noteworthy, and highlights how careful GRRM is at choosing the names of his characters, even very minor, seemingly insignificant ones.

(Illustration of Villa Diodati from Finden's Illustrations of the Life and Works of Lord Byron, Edward Finden, 1833)

Now onto the actual poem, and the ways in which Jon Snow could being referencing/paralleling Manfred. First things first, a bit of biographical context. Take my hand, and let's travel back in time, way back when, to 1816, the year in which Lord Byron left England forever, his reputation in tatters due to the collapse of his marriage and the rumours of an affair with his half-sister, Augusta Leigh (plus he was hugely in debt). No doubt, most of us are familiar with the story, but in 1816 Byron travelled to Switzerland, to a villa on Lake Geneva, where he met the Shelleys and suggested that they all pass the time by writing ghost stories.

The most famous story produced by them was, of course, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1818) — which may have served as the partial inspiration behind Qyburn and Robert Strong! Byron himself did begin a story but soon gave it up (yesss, we love an unproductive king); it was completed, however, by his personal physician, John William Polidori, and eventually published, under Byron's name, as The Vampyre (1819). But Byron didn't completely abandon the ghost story project, as later that summer, after a visit by the Gothic novelist M. G. Lewis, he wrote his "supernatural" tragedy, Manfred (1817).*

*I've seen it dated as 1816-17, but the crucial thing to rememeber, in terms of Byron's own biography, is that unlike The Bride of Abydos, he wrote it after his departure from England... this theme of exile will come up later.

Manfred is what is called a "closet drama", so is structured much like a play, with acts and scenes, though it wouldn't have actually been intended to be performed on stage. Indeed, Lord Byron first described Manfred to his publisher as "a kind of poem in dialogue... but of a very wild—metaphysical—and inexplicable kind": "Almost all the persons—but two or three—are Spirits... the hero [is] a kind of magician who is tormented by a species of remorse—the cause of which is left half unexplained—he wanders about invoking these spirits—which appear to him—& are of no use—he at last goes to the very abode of the Evil principle in propria persona [i.e. in person]—to evocate a ghost—which appears—& gives him an ambiguous & disagreeable answer..."*

*As in Part 1, more academic references will be listed in a bibliography at the end of this post.

To sum up the narrative for you, Manfred is a nobleman living in the Bernese Alps, "tormented by a species of remorse", which is never fully explained, but is clearly connected to the death of his beloved Astarte. Through his mastery of poetic language and spell-casting, he is able to summon seven "spirits", from whom he seeks the gift of forgetfulness, but this plea cannot be granted — he cannot escape from his past. He is also prevented from escaping his mysterious guilt by taking his own life, but in the end, Manfred does die, thus defying religious temptations of redemption from sin. He therefore stands outside of societal expectations, a Romantic rebel who succeeds in challenging all of the authoritative powers he faces, ultimately choosing death over submission to the powerful spirits.

According to Lara Assaad, the character of Manfred is the "Byronic hero par excellence", as he shares its typical characteristics found in Byron's other work (as discussed in Part 1), "yet pushed to the extreme." As noted above, there is a defiance to Manfred's character, which is arguable also found in Jon. Certainly though, in all of Byron's works, the Byronic Hero appears as "a negative Romantic protagonist" to a certain extent, a being who is "filled with guilt, despair, and cosmic and social alienation," observes James B. Twitchell. I'll come back to those characteristics presently.

As noted by Assaad, "Byron scholars seem to agree on this definition of the Byronic Hero, however they focus mainly, if not exclusively, on the dynamics of guilt and remorse." Indeed, it is only in more recent years that the incest motif, as well as the influence of Byron's own biography, have been more widely discussed. But perhaps the most compelling aspect of the Byronic Hero is his complex psychology. Although trauma theory only really started to flourish during the 1990s, thus providing deeper insight into the symptoms that follow a traumatic experience, it nevertheless seems, at least to Assaad, that "Byron was familiar with it well before it was first discussed by professionals and diagnosed." As we know, GRRM began writing his series, A Song of Ice and Fire, during the 1990s, and character trauma and its effects feature heavily in his work, most notably in the case of Theon Greyjoy, but also in the memory editing of Sansa Stark in terms of the infamous "Unkiss".*

*The editing, or supressing, of memories is not exclusive to Sansa, however. E.g @agentrouka-blog has theorised a possible memory edit with regards to Tyrion and his first wife Tysha.

But if we return back to that original quote, in which GRRM makes the comparison between Jon and the Byronic Hero, his following statement is also very interesting:

The character I’m probably most like in real life is Samwell Tarly. Good old Sam. And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Theon [Greyjoy] is the one I’d fear becoming. Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into his own selfish, worst impulses. [source]

As noted by @princess-in-a-tower, there is a close correspondence between Jon and Theon, with each acting as the other's foil in many respects. In fact, Theon does sort of tick off a few of the Byronic qualities I discussed last time, most notably standing apart from society, that "society" being the Starks in Winterfell, due to him essentially being a hostage. Later on, we see him develop a sense of deep misery as well due to his horrific treatment at the hands of Ramsey Snow. Like Theon, his narrative foil, Jon is also a character deeply informed by trauma (being raised a bastard), but the way they ultimately process and express that specific displacement trauma differs profoundly — Theon expresses it outwardly through his sacking of Winterfell, whereas Jon turns his trauma notably inwards.*

*Obviously, I'm not a medical professional — I'm more looking at this from a literary angle, but the articles I've read for this post do include reference to real medical definitions etc.

Previously, I observed how being "deeply jaded" and having "misery in his heart" were key characteristics of the Byronic Hero, as well as Jon Snow — this trauma theory is a continuation of that. Indeed, to bring it back to Manfred, Assaad goes as far as stating that the poem's titular hero "suffers from what is now widely recognised as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)." I am purposely holding off on discussing what the origin of that trauma is, in relation to Manfred specifically, because, well... it needs a bit of forewarning before I get into it fully. Instead, let's look at the emotions it exacerabates or gives rise to, as detailed by Twitchell, and how they might be evident in Jon and his feelings regarding his bastard status.

(Jonny Lee Miller as Byron in the two part BBC series Byron, 2003)

Guilt

Does Jon suffer guilt due to him being a bastard and secretly wanting to "steal" his siblings' birthright? I'd say a strong yes:

When Jon had been Bran's age, he had dreamed of doing great deeds, as boys always did. The details of his feats changed with every dreaming, but quite often he imagined saving his father's life. Afterward Lord Eddard would declare that Jon had proved himself a true Stark, and place Ice in his hand. Even then he had known it was only a child's folly; no bastard could ever hope to wield a father's sword. Even the memory shamed him. What kind of man stole his own brother's birthright? I have no right to this, he thought, no more than to Ice. – AGOT, Jon VIII He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. – ASOS, Jon XII

But I think Jon's sense of guilt also extends to the high expectations he sets for himself, his "moral superiority" in the face of his bastard status, as discussed in Part 1. He feels guilt pulling him in two different directions, in regards to Ygritte: guilt for loving her, for breaking his vows, and potentially risking a bastard, but also guilt for leaving her, for abandoning her, and potentially leaving her unprotected:

His guilt came back afterward, but weaker than before. If this is so wrong, he wondered, why did the gods make it feel so good? – ASOS, Jon III Ygritte was much in his thoughts as well. He remembered the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body... and the look on her face as she slit the old man's throat. You were wrong to love her, a voice whispered. You were wrong to leave her, a different voice insisted. He wondered if his father had been torn the same way, when he'd left Jon's mother to return to Lady Catelyn. He was pledged to Lady Stark, and I am pledged to the Night's Watch. – ASOS, Jon VI "I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but..." It was wrong. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her..."I wasn't strong enough. The Halfhand commanded me, ride with them, watch, I must not balk, I..." His head felt as if it were packed with wet wool. – ASOS, Jon VI

This guilt surrounding leaving the women/girls he cares about unprotected also extends to Arya. Yet it was his need to prove himself as something more than just a bastard, by joining the Watch, which initially prevents him from acting, and which also makes him feel guilt for being a hyprocrite:

Jon felt as stiff as a man of sixty years. Dark dreams, he thought, and guilt. His thoughts kept returning to Arya. There is no way I can help her. I put all kin aside when I said my words. If one of my men told me his sister was in peril, I would tell him that was no concern of his. Once a man had said the words his blood was black. Black as a bastard's heart. – ADWD, Jon VI

I think there is a lack of reconciliation between Jon and his bastard status, between what being a bastard implies in their society: lustful, deceitful, treacherous, more "worldly" etc. Deep down, subconsciously, Jon really rebels against it. You can see that rebellion more clearly in his memories as a younger child, less inhibited:

Every morning they had trained together, since they were big enough to walk; Snow and Stark, spinning and slashing about the wards of Winterfell, shouting and laughing, sometimes crying when there was no one else to see. They were not little boys when they fought, but knights and mighty heroes. "I'm Prince Aemon the Dragonknight," Jon would call out, and Robb would shout back, "Well, I'm Florian the Fool." Or Robb would say, "I'm the Young Dragon," and Jon would reply, "I'm Ser Ryam Redwyne." That morning he called it first. "I'm Lord of Winterfell!" he cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, "You can't be Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born. My lady mother says you can't ever be the Lord of Winterfell." I thought I had forgotten that. Jon could taste blood in his mouth, from the blow he'd taken. – ASOS, Jon XII

But Jon knows this truth about himself, he knows that he has "always wanted it", and that causes him so much guilt because he can't allow himself to be selfish in that regard, because to do so would confirm for him his worst fears... that he truly is a bastard in nature as well as birth — treacherous, covetous, dishonourable.

Despair

As he grows up, learning to curb his emotional outbursts from AGOT, Jon appears more and more stoic upon the surface. But beneath that, buried in his subconscious in the form of dreams, you have this undyling feeling of despair, this trauma connected to his bastard status, his partially unknown heritage:

Not my mother, Jon thought stubbornly. He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. In his dreams, she was beautiful, and highborn, and her eyes were kind. – AGOT, Jon III

These recurring dreams, sometimes explicitly involving his unknown mother, sometimes not, represent a clear gap, a gaping blank in Jon's personal history and his perception of his identity:

"Sometimes I dream about it," he said. "I'm walking down this long empty hall. My voice echoes all around, but no one answers, so I walk faster, opening doors, shouting names. I don't even know who I'm looking for. Most nights it's my father, but sometimes it's Robb instead, or my little sister Arya, or my uncle." [...]

"Do you ever find anyone in your dream?" Sam asked.

Jon shook his head. "No one. The castle is always empty." He had never told anyone of the dream, and he did not understand why he was telling Sam now, yet somehow it felt good to talk of it. "Even the ravens are gone from the rookery, and the stables are full of bones. That always scares me. I start to run then, throwing open doors, climbing the tower three steps at a time, screaming for someone, for anyone. And then I find myself in front of the door to the crypts. It's black inside, and I can see the steps spiraling down. Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me. The old Kings of Winter are down there, sitting on their thrones with stone wolves at their feet and iron swords across their laps, but it's not them I'm afraid of. I scream that I'm not a Stark, that this isn't my place, but it's no good, I have to go anyway, so I start down, feeling the walls as I descend, with no torch to light the way. It gets darker and darker, until I want to scream." He stopped, frowning, embarrassed. "That's when I always wake." His skin cold and clammy, shivering in the darkness of his cell. Ghost would leap up beside him, his warmth as comforting as daybreak. He would go back to sleep with his face pressed into the direwolf's shaggy white fur. – AGOT, Jon IV

"That always scares me", he says quite tellingly. From this key passage, in particular, we can see that Jon feels a deep rooted despair at essentially being unclaimed, unwanted... being without a solid (Stark) identity around which to draw strength and mould himself. He's afraid of being a lone wolf, because as we all know, "the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," (AGOT, Arya II).

This dream points him in the direction of the crypts — "somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to" — which actually does have the answers he seeks because that is where Lyanna Stark is buried. Yet Jon is "afraid of what might be waiting for [him]", and wants to "scream" with dispair because of the darkness. So, this need for a confirmed identity is a double edged sword, which will no doubt be further complicated when his true parentage is revealed.

Elsewhere, Jon's dreams continue to have this despairing quality to them, often involving Winterfell, the Starks, and especially Ned, which is very interesting on a psychological level:

The grey walls of Winterfell might still haunt his dreams, but Castle Black was his life now, and his brothers were Sam and Grenn and Halder and Pyp and the other cast-outs who wore the black of the Night's Watch. – AGOT, Jon IV

Last night he had dreamt the Winterfell dream again. He was wandering the empty castle, searching for his father, descending into the crypts. Only this time the dream had gone further than before. In the dark he'd heard the scrape of stone on stone. When he turned he saw that the vaults were opening, one after the other. As the dead kings came stumbling from their cold black graves, Jon had woken in pitch-dark, his heart hammering. Even when Ghost leapt up on the bed to nuzzle at his face, he could not shake his deep sense of terror. He dared not go back to sleep. Instead he had climbed the Wall and walked, restless, until he saw the light of the dawn off to the east. It was only a dream. I am a brother of the Night's Watch now, not a frightened boy. – AGOT, Jon VII

But it is never "only a dream", is it?

And when at last he did sleep, he dreamt, and that was even worse. In the dream, the corpse he fought had blue eyes, black hands, and his father's face, but he dared not tell Mormont that. – AGOT, Jon VIII

Even Jon's conscious daydreams in AGOT revolve around his dispairing search for a solid identity:

When Jon had been Bran's age, he had dreamed of doing great deeds, as boys always did. The details of his feats changed with every dreaming, but quite often he imagined saving his father's life. Afterward Lord Eddard would declare that Jon had proved himself a true Stark, and place Ice in his hand. Even then he had known it was only a child's folly; no bastard could ever hope to wield a father's sword. Even the memory shamed him. What kind of man stole his own brother's birthright? I have no right to this, he thought, no more than to Ice. – AGOT, Jon VIII

A lot of these early dreams occur in A Game of Thrones, probably in response to his removal from Winterfell... his self exile. But later on in the series Jon continues to have dreams that tie him to the Starks and to Winterfell, ominous and sometimes despairing too. There's honestly too many instances to list, but if you want to understand the root of Jon's existential despair... it's in his dreams.

Cosmic Alienation

Cosmic alienation, now that's an interesting one in regards to Jon, since he definitely hasn't reached this state... yet. Life and his belief in the divine (the old gods) still hold meaning for him, but then he gets murdered by his black brothers. In the show, the writers hint at some cosmic alienation through Jon stating that he saw "nothing" whilst dead, but then they take it no further and generally do a piss poor job of post-res Jon. This characteristic of Manfred coming to the fore in Jon depends on what happens in The Winds of Winter, but I don't think it is at all that far fetched to assume that Jon will return to his body with a darker, altered perception of things.

Social Alienation

In Part 1, I discussed how Jon, like Byron's heroes, could be read as a "a rebel who stands apart from society and societal expectations." On a more psychological level, we can see how this Otherness, stemming from his bastard status, deeply affects Jon and his perception of himself and the world:

Benjen Stark gave Jon a long look. "Don't you usually eat at table with your brothers?"

"Most times," Jon answered in a flat voice. "But tonight Lady Stark thought it might give insult to the royal family to seat a bastard among them." – AGOT, Jon I

In his very first chapter, we see him quite literally alienated from the rest of his siblings, made to sit apart from them, an apparent necessity he seems fairly resigned to. Also in Part 1, I gave examples of instances in which Jon is mockingly called "Lord Snow," as well as a "rebel", "turncloak", "half-wildling", all of which serve to alienate him from the rest of the brothers of the Night's Watch.

Stannis gave a curt nod. "Your father was a man of honor. He was no friend to me, but I saw his worth. Your brother was a rebel and a traitor who meant to steal half my kingdom, but no man can question his courage. What of you?" – ASOS, Jon XI

The above interaction may seem on the surface to be about one thing — whether or not Jon will be of help to Stannis, offer him loyalty etc. — but tagged onto the end we have quite a poignant question: "what of you?" What are you, essentially. Who are you? The truth of his parentage may, in part, solve these questions... but it may also serve to alienate Jon from his perception of himself further. Ultimately, who exactly he is — what he believes in, who and what he fights for, etc. — will be solely his decision to make going forward.

So, the Byronic Hero, certainly in Manfred's case, but also in later iterations, is arguably traumatised by his own past. But regardless as to whether his trauma is related to a mysterious past, a secret sin, an unnamed crime, or incest, aka "secret knowledge", what is clear in Assaad's interpretation, is that the Byronic Hero is "living with the traumatic consequences of his own past and so suffers from PTSD." But why is Manfred traumatised, what is the specific cause of this trauma, or how might it reveal something deeper about Jon's own trauma? Now, here we come to the unavoidable... I'm going to start talking about Byronic incest and the pre-canon crush/kiss theory, and how it potentially parallels certain aspects of Manfred.

I should preface this by stating that I don't think Jon is suppressing trauma because he committed intentional incest with Sansa, but I do think (or at least somewhat theorise that) Byronic incest does come into play regarding his intense feelings of guilt and existential despair.

But still, stop reading now if are opposed to discussions of the pre-canon crush/kiss theory and the literary incest motif as a whole!

(Detail from The Funeral of Shelley, Louis Édouard Fournier, 1889)

Hey there to the depraved! If you aren't already familiar with the theory, here are some previous discussions/metas on the subject:

Full Blown Meta:

A Hidden and Forbidden Love by @princess-in-a-tower

Ask Answers (Long):

Jonsa as a more positive mirror to Jaime and Cersei? by @princess-in-a-tower, with additional comment by @jonsameta

Discussing the theory by @jonsameta

Evidence for pre-canon Jonsa? by @agentrouka-blog

Kissing in the godswood? by @agentrouka-blog

Why don't we read about Jon's reaction to Sansa and Tyrion? by @agentrouka-blog

More on Jon's supposed non-reaction by @agentrouka-blog, with additional comment made by @sherlokiness

A Jonsa "Unkiss"? by @fedonciadale

A hidden memory? by @fedonciadale

Sansa's misremembering by @fedonciadale

Descriptive parallels between A Song for Lya and Jonsa by @butterflies-dragons

Ask Answers (Short) & Briefer Mentions:

Jealous Jon by @princess-in-a-tower

Your new boyfriend looks like a girl by @butterflies-dragons

Like in Part 1, I've tried to cite as much as I could find, but as always, if anyone feels like I've missed someone important or that they should be included in the above list, please just drop me a line!

Now, it's a controversial theory, and not everyone's cup of tea — I think that's worth acknowledging! I myself am not wholly married to it, I'd be fine if it wasn't the case, but that being said, I can't in good faith ignore it when considering Lord Byron and the Byronic Hero. The incest is, unfortunately, very hard to ignore, both in his work and in his personal life. It's pretty hard to ignore in Manfred, for that matter, which is why I've held off talking about it... until now!

All aboard the Manfred incest train *choo choo* !!

First stop, Act II, scene one. Oh, wait, an annoucement from your conductor... apologies everyone, I purposely neglected to mention quite a key detail. Remember "Astarte! [Manfred's] beloved!", (II, iv, 136)? Yeah... it's heavily implied that Astarte is in fact Manfred's half-sister. *shoots finger guns* Classic Byron! *facepalms*

Oh, and that's not all! Let's consider the context surrounding the writing of this work for a moment, shall we? Unlike The Bride of Abydos (1813),* Manfred was written notably after the fallout of his incestuous affair with his half-sister, Augusta Leigh, composed whilst in a self-imposed exile. *spits out drink* Woah, woah there cowboy... what in tarnation?! EXILE?!

*As referenced in Part 1, @rose-of-red-lake has written an excellent meta on the influence of Lord Byron's work (and personal life) on Jonsa, paying special attention to the half-siblings turned cousins in The Bride of Abydos.

Although, as noted by rose-of-red-lake, The Bride of Abydos bears strong parallels to the potential romance of Jon and Sansa, as well as Byron’s own angst regarding his relationship with Augusta Leigh, the context surrounding Manfred seems... dare I say it, even more autobiographical. Because like Byron himself, Manfred wanders around the Bernese Alps, solitary and guilt ridden, in a state of exile heavily evocative of Byron's own — as I mentioned earlier, the beginnings of Manfred occured whilst Byron was staying at a villa on Lake Geneva, in Switzerland... the Bernese Alps are located in western Switzerland. In light of this, I think it's very understandable that some critics consider Manfred to be autobiographical, or even confessional. The unnamed but forbidden nature of Manfred's relationship to Astarte is believed to represent Byron's relationship with his half-sister Augusta. But what has that got to do with Jon?

Look, I don't know how else to put this:

Byron self-exiles in 1816, first to Switzerland, to Lake Geneva, where it is unseasonably cold and stormy — his departure from England is due to the collaspe of his marriage to Annabella Milbanke, unquestionably as a result of the rumours surrounding his incestuous affair with his half-sister.

Displaced nobleman Manfred wanders the Bernese Alps, in a kind of moral exile, where "the wind / Was faint and gusty, and the mountain snows / Began to glitter with the climbing moon" (III, iii, 46-48), traversing "on snows, where never human foot / Of common mortal trod" (II, iii, 4-5), surrounded by a "glassy ocean of the mountain ice" (II, iii, 7). He feels extreme, but unexplained guilt surrounding the death of his "beloved" Astarte, who is heavily implied to also be his half-sister.

In A Game of Thrones, Jon Snow chooses to join the Night's Watch, with the reminder that "once you have taken the black, there is no turning back" (AGOT, Jon VI). By taking the black, Jon arguably exiles himself from the rest of the Starks, from Winterfell, to a place that "looked like nothing more than a handful of toy blocks scattered on the snow, beneath the vast wall of ice" (AGOT, Jon III). But we aren't given any indication that he does this due to incestuous feelings regarding a "radiant" half-sister, akin to Byron/Manfred, are we? And it's not like we have several Manfreds/Manfryds AND Byrons namedropped within the text, is it? Oh wait... we do. *grabs GRRM in a chokehold*

What the hell, George?!

(Lord Byron on His Deathbed, Joseph Denis Odevaere, c. 1826)

But lets get back on track here and take a closer look at that section of Manfred I mentioned at the beginning — Act II, scene one, aka the part where all the incest and supressed trauma really JUMPS out.

So, early in Act II, in the chamois hunter's abode (a chamois is a type of goat?), according Assaad's analysis, Manfred is "hyper-aroused by a cup of wine." The wine is offered in an attempt to calm Manfred; however, to the chamois hunter's great dismay, it instead agitates him and makes him utter words which are "strange" (II, i, 35). Rather than wine, Manfred sees "blood on the brim" (II, i, 25). His sudden agitation and erratic behaviour confound the chamois hunter, who observes that Manfred is losing his mind: "thy senses wander from thee" (II, i, 27). Assaad's analysis of this scene, which she believes "is the most revelatory in the entire play" discloses "a bitter truth: Manfred's traumatic past informs his present life."

We might compare this with Jon, in particular, how his dreams reveal certain bitter truths to do with his past, now subconsciously informing his present. I've already looked a bit at his crypt dream from AGOT, Jon IV, but we see a sort of recurrence of this dream again in ASOS, Jon VIII. The imagery of being in a crypt, somewhere underground, buried, in the dark, a place of ghosts and spirits, is extremely evocative. Indeed, to go back to Byron's own description of Manfred, the setting of a crypt is extremely suggestive of certain bitter truths "left half unexplained", of secrets buried... and we know that's true because the secret of Jon's parentage is hidden down there, in the form of Lyanna Stark.

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell, limping past the stone kings on their thrones. Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed, and their grey granite fingers tightened on the hilts of the rusted swords upon their laps. You are no Stark, he could hear them mutter, in heavy granite voices. There is no place for you here. Go away. He walked deeper into the darkness. "Father?" he called. "Bran? Rickon?" No one answered. A chill wind was blowing on his neck. "Uncle?" he called. "Uncle Benjen? Father? Please, Father, help me." Up above he heard drums. They are feasting in the Great Hall, but I am not welcome there. I am no Stark, and this is not my place. His crutch slipped and he fell to his knees. The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. "Ygritte?" he whispered. "Forgive me. Please." But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his golden eyes shining sadly through the dark... – ASOS, Jon VIII

I don't think it's outlandish to state that, unquestionably, Jon's bastard identity is a source of ongoing pain for him. I talked about the theme of despair in Jon's characterisation and it is very evident in the above, and it stems from this "bitter truth" of not being a trueborn Stark, of not being "welcome", or having a true place. The emotions/mindset this trauma, concerning his birth and identity, evokes in Jon is arguably what brings him, on first glance, so closely in line with the Byronic Hero:

Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed / The crypts were growing darker = A mysterious past / secret sin(s)

You are no Stark / I am no Stark = Deeply jaded

There is no place for you here / I am not welcome there / This is not my place = standing apart from society and societal expectations / social alienation

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell / He walked deeper into the darkness = Moody / misery in his heart

He fell to his knees / Forgive me = Guilt

He walked deeper into the darkness / Please, Father, help me / He fell to his knees = Despair

These aren't all the Byronic characteristics I've addressed in relation to Jon, but it is a substantial percentage of them, all encapsulated, in one way or another, within this singular dream passage. As far as what is fairly explicit in the text, being a bastard is Jon's "bitter truth", it is the "traumatic past inform[ing] his present life." But what is Manfred's "bitter truth", what past trauma is informing his present? And can it reveal a bit more about another layer to Jon's trauma? Because there is a key distinction — Manfred's trauma, his PTSD, stems from a specific event, notably triggered by the (imagined) "blood on the brim" of his wine, whereas for Jon, we have no singular event, we have no momentus experience, we just have this "truth."

As mentioned previously, Assaad has recognised the character of Manfred as displaying symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In Assaad's article, she remarks that "an experience is denoted as traumatic if it completely overwhelms the individual, rendering him or her helpless," and this is quite evident in the interaction between Manfred and the chamois hunter. Sharon Stanley, an educator and clinical psychotherapist, writes that "the word trauma has been used to describe a variety of aversive, overwhelming experiences with long-term, destructive effects on individuals and communities."

So, if trauma is related to an experience, or experiences, is it still accurate to say that Jon experiences trauma, connected to being a bastard? Because there is seemingly no singular or defining root experience, or event that it stems from, it just is… it is a compellation of several moments, revealed to the reader through Jon’s memories and/or dreams. What is being "left half unexplained” here?

Assaad makes reference to the American Psychiatric Association's definition of PTSD, in which it observes that for an individual to be diagnosed with PTSD, they have to suffer from one or more intrustion symptoms, one or more avoidance symptoms, two or more negative alterations, and two or more hyperarousal symptoms. The dreams Jon has certainly suggest something, but it seems like a stretch to say that, like Manfred, he is suffering from PTSD, right? We and Jon are very much aware that he is "no Stark", at least not in the sense that he is Ned's trueborn son, this isn’t something Jon is actively suppressing. By comparison, it is incontrovertible that Manfred committed something in the past, which he deeply wishes to forget and disassociate from:

Man. I say ’tis blood—my blood! the pure warm stream Which ran in the veins of my fathers, and in ours When we were in our youth, and had one heart, And loved each other as we should not love, And this was shed: but still it rises up, Colouring the clouds, that shut me out from heaven, Where thou art not—and I shall never be. C. Hun. Man of strange words, and some half—maddening sin

(II, i, 28-35)

However, we cannot be sure what this traumatic point of origin is, though we know that it is related to something he has done to his beloved Astarte, which subsequently led to her death. Many critics have suggested that his sin is that of incest, and as I noted earlier, that Manfred as a whole is more than just a bit autobiographical and/or confessional in nature. Manfred's incestuous sin therefore re-enacts Byron's incest with his half-sister Augusta. But regardless of the true cause, Manfred is traumatised by his past and cannot overcome it. Is there something in Jon’s past, that may have subconsciously, or consciously, influenced his departure to the Wall — his self exile — which he cannot overcome, and which is closely tied to the issue of and pain he feels due to being a bastard, not just the illegitimacy, but also the negative characteristics it assigns? Is there an event, or experience, we can pinpoint as the origin of Jon’s trauma and potential PTSD?

To circle back to Jonsa, there is some, not unfounded, debate amongst us concerning the validity of the pre-canon crush/kiss theory. I've always found it an interesting theory, but until now, I haven't really given it too much thought. In light of the Byron connection, however, as well as the textual analysis I have for Part 3, I think this scenario, as detailed by agentrouka-blog, seems more and more likely. And I don't say that lightly, I really don't. It is a somewhat uncomfortable speculation to make, even if the interaction was more innocent rather than explicit (this is the side I firmly fall down on), however, it’s ambiguity does potentially parallel Byron’s Manfred and Astarte. This post would be even longer if I included my side-by-side text comparisons, so you may have to trust me for the moment that there are some very striking similarities between Act II, scene I of Manfred, and Jon's milk of the poppy induced dream in ASOS, Jon VI, as well as the actual buildup to that vision.

But, that sounds frankly terrible doesn't it? And it doesn't bode well for his future relationship with Sansa, does it? And what does it mean if Jon is suffering from PTSD due to an incestuous encounter with Sansa? What does that mean for Sansa, Sansa who is doggedly abused and mistreated by men within the present narrative? This is awful, why would GRRM root their romance in something traumatic? Oh I hear you, and these are questions I needed to ask myself whilst compiling this. But you see... now bear with me here... it isn't the actual encounter itself that was traumatic, for either Jon or Sansa, and that is reflected in both their POVs, because, though they think about each other sparingly (explicitly at least), it is never done so negatively. No, the potential PTSD Jon suffers from this experience isn't connected to Sansa, to whatever occured between them. Rather, I believe, it's connected to either the fear, or the reality, that Ned, his assumed father, saw and/or caught him (either Sansa had left at this point, or didn't fully grasp the issue), and this fear, this guilt, this sense of despair, is made evident in this passage:

When the dreams took him, he found himself back home once more, splashing in the hot pools beneath a huge white weirwood that had his father’s face. Ygritte was with him, laughing at him, shedding her skins till she was naked as her name day, trying to kiss him, but he couldn’t, not with his father watching. He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night’s Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she whispered, her skin dissolving in the hot water, the flesh beneath sloughing off her bones until only skull and skeleton remained, and the pool bubbled thick and red. – ASOS, Jon VI

That's the traumatic experience, I believe, not the kiss — yep, I strongly suspect there was a kiss. Moreover, Jon's recurring assertion, throughout the series, that he "will not father a bastard" is tied to this in some way, it’s tied to Ned, it’s tied to some sense of guilt and shame. It’s not tied to Sansa. But we'll look at this passage, what it means, what it parallels, and what directly precedes it, in comparison to Manfred, a lot more closely next time.

I'll leave you with a slight teaser though — the parallel that made me really sit up and take notice:

C. Hun. Well, sir, pardon me the question, And be of better cheer. Come, taste my wine; 'Tis of an ancient vintage; many a day 'T has thaw’d my veins among our glaciers, now Let it do thus for thine. Come, pledge me fairly. Man. Away, away! there’s blood upon the brim! Will it then never—never sink in the earth?

(II, i, 21-26)

Note this imagery!!!

Maester Aemon poured it full. "Drink this."

Jon had bitten his lip in his struggles. He could taste blood mingled with the thick, chalky potion. It was all he could do not to retch it back up. – ASOS, Jon VI

In both instances, a drink is offered, with "blood upon the brim", and "blood mingled". In Manfred's case, this is an explicit trigger for him, whereas for Jon? Well, it bit more hidden, a bit more buried, but this moment is, to my mind, the catalyst, because its imagery strongly evokes the colours of the weirwood tree — "blood" red and "chalky" white — you know, the "huge white weirwood" he later on envisions.

*spits out drink*

Maybe the magnitude of this parallel isn't completely evident as of yet, but it will be... or at least I hope it will be, so stay tuned for Part 3!

(Starting to run out of Byron pics so... I dunno, here's Rupert Everret, from The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron, 2009)

In Conclusion

To summarise, why is the Manfred connection so monumental to me? Why do I find the pre-canon kiss theory, specifically the scenario detailed by agentrouka-blog, now very hard to dismiss? Because:

The nine (!) Manfreds/Manfryds included within the text, as well as the two Byrons, one of which, the first mentioned in fact, first appears in Sansa's POV. But crucicially the direct link made by GRRM between Byron Swann and Manfred Swann.

The strength of the similarities that can be observed between Jon and the Byronic Hero, but also notably to Byron's Manfred, the "Byronic hero par excellence", according to Assaad. Especially the recurring emotions of guilt and despair, the latter exemplified perhaps most clearly in Jon's dreams.

The prominent theme of self-exile to escape something, something that perhaps cannot be openly stated, present in Manfred, Byron's own life, and Jon's narrative.

Those pesky half-sisters: Augusta, Astarte, and Sansa.

The PTSD symptoms clearly present in Manfred, but left "half unexplained", and seemingly not explained at all in Jon's POV — I'll dig more into this in Part 3.

The "blood upon the brim", and "blood mingled" — more on that in Part 3, I hope you guys like in depth imagery analysis!

Obviously, this is all still just speculation on my part, and it's speculation in connection to a theory that is understandably controversial. I'd be happy to dismiss it... if it weren't for the above. So, I suppose I'm in two minds about it. On the one hand, however you look at it, it's more trauma in an already traumatic series... which is *sighs* not what you want for the characters you care strongly about. But on the other hand, that literary connection to Manfred (and by extension to actual Lord Byron), the way it's lining up, plus that comparison GRRM himself made between Jon and the Byronic Hero... that's all very compelling and interesting to me as a reader, as a former English literature student. So, I don't want it to be true because... incest hell. But then, I also want it to be true because then it makes me feel smart for guessing correctly.

But anyway, we're going to be descending into incest hell in Part 3, so... we'll just have to grapple with that when we come to it. I hope, if you stuck with it till the incesty end, that you enjoyed this post!

Stay tuned ;)

Bibliography of Academic Sources:

American Psychiatric Association, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edn (Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing, 2013); online edition at www.dsm5.org

Assaad, Lara, "'My slumbers—if I slumber—are not sleep': The Byronic Hero’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder", The Byron Journal 47, no. 2 (2019): 153–163.

Byron, George Gordon Noel, Byron’s Letters and Journals. Ed. Leslie A. Marchand. 12 vols. London: Murray, 1973–82.

Holland, Tom, "Undead Byron", in Byromania: Portraits of the Artist in Nineteenth- and Twentieth- Century Culture, ed. by Frances Wilson (Basingstoke: Palgrave, 2000).

MacDonald, D. L. "Narcissism and Demonality in Byron’s 'Manfred'", Mosaic: An Interdisciplinary Critical Journal 25, no. 2 (1992): 25–38.

Stanley, Sharon, Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past (London: Routledge, 2016)

Twitchell, James B., The Living Dead: A Study of the Vampire in Romantic Literature (Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 1981).

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

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******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

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******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

[sinkix]

- What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Karasuno edition -

Obviously these aren’t meant to be taken too seriously lol. I’ll probably make this into a series at some point where I include the other teams idk this took me way too long to do JWIDJQENWKJQFN WE’LL SEE. ENJOY! <3

2D men are infinitely superior I said what I said.

Hinata: 

A sucker for motivational speeches or quotes and they always get you hyped up.

Very ambitious and positive despite frequently getting lost in life

Not as innocent as you seem but still a cinnamon roll lololol

You probably eat fruit as a regular snack n ppl judge you for it

Highkey a dumbass but in a very endearing way so people can’t help but like you

Summer is probs ur fave season

Definitely own several plushies and definitely get defensive about it

The friend people go to when they need cheering up.

You either go to bed at 8pm or 3am no in between.

Your texting style consists of several messages as opposed to one paragraph/sentence with the use of MANY emojis.

You 100% fuck with pineapple on pizza. 

Got your head stuck in a cat flap that one time.

Have a hella low alcohol tolerance or don’t drink at all.

Hella clueless when it comes to people flirting with you, they have to hold a neon sign in front of you for you to get the message

“Oh you were flirting with me?” “I was every day for 5 months but thanks for finally noticing”

Definition of a tab hoarder, your pc/laptop frequently crashes because it can’t handle that many but you refuse to get rid of any.

Always get toothpaste stains on your shirt no matter how careful you are.

“Wait we had homework???”

Nishinoya:

You often get random bursts of energy outta nowhere or at 2am and have no clue how to handle it 

You can’t help but head bang and scream the lyrics to your fav songs.

Probably have a hella diverse music taste.

Likely an active/outdoorsy person who either does sports or wants to.

Vvv loyal, type of friend you can call in the middle of the night and you’ll be there.

Chaotic good or Chaotic neutral.

You’re either one of the most responsible people in the room or one of the most fuckin chaotic and irresponsible lmao no in between it just depends on your mood.

Frequently pull all nighter’s and doesn’t even feel guilty about it

Chug soda like it’s water.

An extrovert or one of those introverts that are bat-shit once you actually get to know them.

You have zero shame, can and will run across the street stark naked for a cheeseburger and a can of sprite.

Like fuck yeah who wouldn’t for a burger and some sprite y’know??

Despite being a whirlwind you are actually a hella chill person to have as company.

You own a skateboard or want to.

Own at least one pair of converses or vans.

Probably have a bucket list or tons of future plans for travelling/adventures stored in your head.

You really want a dog and would call it something like Dexter or Human Destroyer 9000.

Likely have had several hair colour phases.

A slut for doritos.

You ate glue once as a kid and it was kinda okay and that fact still haunts you.

Tanaka:

Listen to rap more than any other genre and ur playlist is fire

Punched dry wall that one time

Probably have several piercings and plan on getting more

Prefer sports bras to regular ones.

Intimidates outsiders but your friends don’t take you seriously in the slightest lmaoaoaooa

Ppl find it hard to approach you but you’re actually super chill so you get sad 

Definition of that Kanye meme “before you talk to me” >:( “after you talk to me” :)

Probably don’t trust people easily

Type of person that once you’re challenged/dared to do something they WILL do it regardless of how stupid bc you hate being called a pussy.

Went through a phase where you only listened to Eminem.

Probably is/was the class clown or wished they were.

You have virtually no patience and a pretty short temper lmao.

You’re a go-getter and hate being told you can’t do something

Definitely snuck out the house several times as a teen.

Walks barefoot outside a lot bc fuck shoes lol

The pairs of shoes you do own are mostly worn down sneakers you refuse to swap out.

You’re that asshole that wears socks with holes in for the sport of it and it doesn’t phase you in the slightest. (dw I do too lmaooao)

Could probably bench press someone’s dad

Enjoy’s drinking coffee.

Kageyama:

Such a picky eater bitch god damn.

Usually hella hydrated and judge people that don’t drink enough water.

Eats spoonfuls of chocolate nesquik powder when no one is looking I said what I said

You like stoic and Tsundere guys who have the outer emotional capacity of a brick wall.

You’re probably the same in that sense and don’t enjoy letting people know what you’re thinking/feeling

Poker face 90% of the time

Type of person to pretend not to find a joke funny but then crumble and start crying with laughter.

Probs an introvert

Once when someone asked you what you wanted for Christmas you responded “to be left the fuck alone” and it still applies to this day.

like fr you just wanna be left alone man but ppl keep bothering you.

You HATE it when people tell you to smile and quite literally take it as an insult.

Your bedtime is 9pm and you stick by it religiously 

Always smell really good like damn what you got on??

The most you do with your hair if it’s long enough is throw it in a pony tail and call it a day.

Either have really nicely manicured nails or you’v chewed them down to the nub no in between.

You hate to admit it but you doubt yourself a lot and it really frustrates you.

Probably wet the bed a lot as a kid and you’re still salty about it.

lololol bed-wetter Kags lover

Audibly snorted typing that I’m sorry.

Probably had a ._. face reading that since ur usually hella unamused.

Cute awkward dork though behind that facade it’s just most people don’t see it.

So critical of yourself like chill

An earth sign or an Aquarius idc.

Do not know how to reciprocate a hug but desperately need one

When people flirt with you you somehow manage to make them intimidated with your responses and scare them off.

You called your teacher “mum/dad” once and you get Vietnam flashbacks to this day.

Daichi:

You probably have a daddy kink and lowkey daddy issues with it

Very supportive friend who has a lotta patience

Hella determined and humble.

Mostly wear black because it’s just much easier than colour coordinating and plus you just prefer the simplicity, but you’re pretty vibrant as a person.

The one who stays sober at parties to drive the others home.

Probably haven’t been in many relationships but still do enjoy romance.

seems stern but is actually very friendly and enjoy company bc you don’t like spending too much time by yourself.

Honestly just wants to chill out, go to bed and read a book.

A coffee connessieur but mostly just drinks instant bc ur too lazy to make it properly and just drink it black.

Very reliable.

Often get stuck with most of the work during group projects lololol

People frequently ask you for the answers to the homework/assignment and it really depends on your mood and how charitable you’re feeling as to whether you’ll lend it to them

Low-key a sadist.

100% Old soul

Despite this you are a fuckin dork and have quite an immature but really funny sense of humour.

You have a thigh kink. 

Def grew up reading wattpad smut and most of ur sexual knowledge stems from that

probably prefer manga to animated versions

Absolute pro at winged eyeliner and looks v good in it.

Probably give lectures even without realising it.

Shamelessly watches the nature channel for hours on end and what of it.

Honestly just done with everyone’s shit lmao

Sugawara:

Either are the mom friend or the one the mom friend has to look after.

You vibe with pastel colours

Your fav season is either spring or autumn.

oversized hoodies and knitted sweaters are your vibe.

Enjoy drinking herbal tea

Likes the smell of rain and will purposely step outside after a storm and S N O R T the smell of damp concrete. (srry if ur from some dry ass place like nevada lmao it rains alot in the UK soooOOOoO)

Quiet but have a really creative imagination and has one HELL of a loud voice when they’re pissed off

like,, I wouldn’t dare get on ur nerves ion want my ear drums bursting damn.

Hoards flavoured chapsticks and scented lip gloss

Either did or still have your Harry Potter house in your bio and it was probably Hufflepuff.

Gives people advice that they are fully aware also applies to themselves but doesn’t follow it LMAO.

Listens to K-pop and several Korean and Japanese genres.

Played a dating sim once and you enjoyed it but ur still ashamed and refuse to ever talk about it.

Smells like lavender or something hella floral

Probably reads a lot of Yaoi and no one else knows but you.

Would 100% own a chinchilla

Read Killing Stalking and it messed you up for weeks.

Asahi:

The one who was trying to flirt for months and the other person never got the hint

Probably a really pretty crier and vibe with the mascara running aesthetic.

You tear up easily lol.

Probably a water sign.

Low-key a bad bitch though 

Looks really good in red lipstick

That one person who’s v attractive but completely unaware and v insecure.

That one friend who seems so soft and innocent but can turn into a banshee when need be.

Crying is your therapy.

You overthink a LOT and it often stops you from achieving what you want.

Actually have a lot of willpower despite ur sensitivity.

Was def a pushover as a kid and still have a chip on your shoulder about it.

Hella artsy and day dreams a lot.

You attract broken souls and often get turned to when people’s problems need fixing yet you’re a total mess yourself

Listens to Girl in red while questioning your sexuality

which you do a lot.

You hate being put in a box or labelled.

Gave up on that hobby that one time and you really wanna get back into it.

Always have at least one hair tie on your wrist that’s basically an accessory at this point.

Own a phat ass fish tank with hella pretty fishes bro it’s such a vibe say hi to Nemo for me.

Yamaguchi:

Too scared to ask for extra ketchup packets so you get your friend to ask instead.

Probably have anxiety.

The time you stuttered once when introducing yourself frequently gives you cringe attacks.

Major animal lover and prefers them to people.

Talked to a tree once and it was a pretty cool experience.

Wear a lot of pink or cute colours and radiate babi energy.

Likely wear skirts 

Wear those aesthetic planets necklaces and your tumblr is filled with space related art and themes.

Enjoy staring up at the clouds and figuring out what animal they are.

Has a lot of secrets that they probably tell to their cat.

dw ur cat isn’t a snitch they got you covered.

“meow”

yeah they definitely didn’t just try to reveal ur deepest traumas to your cousin.

If you don’t have a cat you probably would want one and would call it Mittens or sumn.

You’re whipped for freckles and anyone that has them instantly becomes 1000x more attractive to you

Either like 5′2″ or 5′10″ no middle ground

Definitely own a turtle or rabbit and if you don’t then you should.

Forgets your assignments but the professor lets you off because you’re so nervous they can’t scold you.

Oversleeps at least 2 times a week

Will not get up before 1pm on a weekend

Wall flower at parties but people still approach you bc you are so friendly and kind.

Social anxiety intensifies.

Always get’s called on in class when you haven’t been paying attention and it really troubles you.

Has a minimum of 3 blankets on your bed that you cocoon yourself in.

Tsukishima:

Your attracted to snarky assholes.

Sarcasm and insults are your form of flirtation and you get immediately turned off if they can’t take it or get upset.

Probably shy away from your feelings

Random flashbacks to embarrassing events frequently keep you up at night

Judge peoples fashion choices as they walk past you but actually have a really good eye for what works and what doesn’t.

You look like you have your shit together and you kinda do for the most part.

The quiet kid in class that’s listening to some loud ass screamo or rock n roll’ but ppl have no idea.

Definition of the glinting anime glasses pushed up your nose bridge cliche.

When you make a mistake you question all your knowledge and abilities but no one else knows that about you

Refuses to cry since you view your emotions as a personal weakness

If someone hugged you you’d get VERY uncomfortable.

Physical contact is not your forte

Probably a 5′0″ demon.

Would peg a man to assert dominance but you’re actually a lil bitch.

Knows the answer to the question they can’t solve.

Doesn’t study as much as they should but somehow still gets good grades.

Really likes french fries and the taste of strawberries.

Just wants to be left alone

Ennoshita:

The one friend that gets talked over and it really pisses you off but you’re too nice to say anything.

Seems really passive but can actually be hella confrontational when they wanna be

No tolerance for peoples bullshit 

Really stable and just an overall reliable person.

People often forget you’re in the room lmao but it’s okay you’d rather listen anyway.

Actually has a really interesting mind and a lot to say but mostly keep it to yourself unless they’re your friend

Answered for someone else in attendance a few years ago and it still bothers you.

People often come to you to vent and you’re chill with it

Don’t stand out much but honestly it doesn’t bother you

Can and will get through an entire book/series in a matter of 3 days.

Quite a minimalist and organised for the most part

You look like you have your shit together and you def do.

Have a controversial taste in pizza.

You have more acquaintances than friends but the ones you do are a v tight knit circle.

Will re take a quiz several times till you get the character you wanted

Radiate Virgo and Libra energy.

Kiyoko:

Type of person to say “step on me” as a way of complimenting and you mean it literally.

Both a sadist and masochist

When someone tells you their not interested it just makes you want them 100x more and it frustrates you why are you like this.

Doesn’t compliment often but when you do it’s really heartfelt.

Looks like your silently judging people but in reality you really couldn’t care.

Just kidding you low-key judge them anyway.

Very picky when it comes to partners.

Independent but has random hella clingy moments.

Despite being quiet, you are capable of roasting a bitch alive if they test your patience.

Like I would NOT wanna get on your bad side

You could deadass send them to therapy, their emotions fenna need some aloe vera for that burn.

Just really calm and relaxed tbh so people enjoy being in your company even though you don’t talk much.

When you do though it’s usually something really interesting or funny.

You just don’t see the point in talking if what your saying doesn’t hold any value??

You hate small talk and would rather slingshot yourself off a skyscraper than partake in it.

Your face is easy to read and you make no effort to hide it.

If your in a bad mood they WILL know.

Look like your plotting someones demise or questioning life’s theories but in reality you’re really just thinking bout what you want for dinner.

Honestly just a sweetheart tbh.

Low-key have a staring problem.

Has really neat and cursive handwriting like who tf taught you that.

Yachi:

Frequently says something then panics that it could be misinterpreted 

You overthink literally everything you have ever said and the actions you haven’t even committed yet

Really likes the taste of sherbet 

Could cut a bitch if they needed to

You spend most of your money at Urban Outfitters and don’t regret it.

have an assortment of colouring pencils that ppl always try and borrow and never give them back.

You highlight the shit outta your papers and never read them again.

Really like the smell of peaches

Probably have a v interesting earring collection.

Hoard water bottles in your room and you feel majorly guilty about it.

The taste of honey disgusts you but you eat it anyway for some reason.

Somehow managed to burn rice and solidify soup.

You shouldn’t be trusted in the kitchen but you try your best regardless.

I feel like that applies to most things in your life

Like yeah you fucked it up but like you’re trying your best lol cmon

V tolerant of people but have zero time for fuckboys and shut them down instantly.

You frequently get the shakes from caffeine or anxiety

Or both.

You give really encouraging hugs.

Have no clue what you wanna do in life but it’s ok bby it’ll work out.

Takeda:

You’re a very underappreciated and underrated person and I love u

Probably an English/languages major

Really kind and outgoing but high-key mysterious

Actually has a phat fucking temper like damn where did that come from.

Won’t take no for an answer when you want to achieve something.

That one person people don’t realise is there listening to your conversations but you definitely are and now know Becky’s deepest darkest secret.

Fuck you, becky.

Wore contacts once and forgot to take them out for 3 days.

You wondered why your eyes were so itchy.

Your music taste does not match your appearance.

Probably watch a lot of crime shows and imagine you’re an investigator

Aced physics and chemistry.

More than likely an introvert with extrovert tendencies when you feel like it.

Actually quite temperamental but it’s okay since you’re a v genuine person.

Often debate getting a sugar daddy bc that income looking real tempting rn.

Honest to a fault at times but it’s something people come to appreciate about you.

Just really wanna sleep for 15 hours and sit in front of your laptop with some hot coco.

Ukai:

You like older men

The smell of tobacco and coffee low-key comforts you for some reason.

Peed in a bottle that one time while on a road trip and forgot to throw it out until you found it a week later.

You’re a slut for dyed hair and dudes with piercings.

You once got drunk and passed out on a spinning round-a-bout in a park and your friend still has pictures that you refuse to acknowledge.

Bi-curious and just radiate big Bi energy

Would experiment but you’re too hesitant.

Hates the taste of beer but drinks it anyway.

Just wants to be loved man I stg is that too much to ask.

Often wonder if your friends actually like you then realise you don’t really care anyway lmao.

You still love them though.

Tired of working over time and just wanna catch a break.

Amazon Prime is your best friend.

Random ass parcels comin thru’ each day and it feels like Christmas.

A very lonely and one-man party Christmas.

Stop spending your fucking paycheck.

Have a pretty dark/cynical but really funny sense of humour and you often make people laugh.

Have a big ass temper and people KNOW it.

Often fantasised about dropping out and becoming a stripper bc your patience was being TESTED.

Really likes money but who doesn’t tbh.

You radiate Chaotic Evil but keep it under wraps.

[ku-ro-kai]

Darling, you’re different

Woke up in the middle of night thinking about dabi as a plug yesterday, wrote a fanfic about it during my entire day at school

edit made by me : )

Your usual plug wasn’t responding,using excuses to go pick up his kids or his baby mother was giving him a hard time. This was the time to be looking for a new plug for sure but how the fuck are you supposed to find one in the first place,camie was your best friend who smoked weed and was a blonde bimbo, she invited you over to smoke with her and offer you a new plug

“You made it! Come smoke a dub with me right quick then we’re gonna go meet him okay” she pulled you into her car

Camie was holding your hand walking through apartment complexs "your sure you know where this guy is?" " of course, he's been my plug for 3 years, he hot too" she stopped at a door and knocked "ever fucked him?" the door opened to a Raven haired man littered in tattoos, piercings ranging to black to silver, gray sweatpants hanging from his waist and a black T-shirt."You brought me a new client" she wasn't lying about him being hot.

His place was pretty tidy for a drug dealer "you can call me dabi by the way, camie gave you my number yet?" his eyes were like pools, you didn't have the guys to look him in the eyes "no" you said in a soft tone, he reached his hand "lemme see your phone for a second baby" you handed it to him "remember my apartment number is 306,don't forget because I'm only telling you once" "yes sir" he looked at you handing you back your phone "you don't have to hit me with that formal shit babe" "sorry,right" he chuckled walking to a hallway "camie come to the back with me" camie grabbed her bag walking to the back but she peaked her head out "I'll be right out, wait in the car for me".

"How long is it gonna take her to get some weed!" after that you heard a knock to the window "what the fuck!" dabi waved with a shit eating smile "fuck you!" ,you saw camie unlock the doors as she she was limping over "scoot over" dabi picked you by your waist and got in the passenger seat "dabi,what the hell are you doing" " what does it look like, gotta go to work" "yeah I see that but not with me on top of you, we might get pulled over" he slapped your shoulders pulling you back on his chest" not if you sit up like that, just enjoy the car ride for a few" you tried to get out of his arms but he was way stronger than you thought "come on camie back me up!" she put the keys in the ignition "he job is right around the corner (name) , trust me you'll be fine" you just relaxed in his hold. "Why are you so warm"

You shuffled neck to side of his shoulder "hot box" he didn't really smell like weed, more like ashes and feminine perfume "you smell weird" he bit your earlobe "pretty rude for someone who couldn't even look me in the eyes" you felt embarrassed, you just stayed quiet the entire time.

"See you next time,Blondie and you again?" you tried to ignore him but you spit out "(name)" he pulled your ear "how about sugar tits since you have-" "hell no!" camie leaned forward waving "bye dabi!" he stuck his tongue out, he had three piercings going in a straight line"you like what you see" you smiled rolling up your window "no".

"Hey you ever get the weed?" camie turned to you "of course but I didn't come for just the weed" she winked at you, you connected the dots in your head "you pay him with sex!?" "hear me out, free weed, good dick, hot boy blows my back out what's not to like?" you just rolled your eyes at her"let's just spark up before you go home"

-Next day-

Camie was too busy hungover from all the alcohol she decided to drink when she got home so you just did this on your own, can't be that hard can it?

____

You : hey

Dabi: what is it sugar tits

You : how much for a gram and stop calling me that

Dabi: A 20 and no ;)

You: fine,I'll be over

____

You knocked on the door twice, before you could pull out your money he dragged you inside "the hell?" catching yourself from stumbling over the mat "I was in the middle of rolling up" he was naked and wet, you could see his tattoos covered in certain areas,his stomach,his v-line,even his legs, only thing covering him was a black towel "put some clothes on first" "last time I checked it's my house so walking around naked shouldn't be your little concern babe" you were always annoyed by this asshole, how can camie do it. You looked in your bag twice, still couldn't see it, dumped out all belongings, nowhere to be found "where's the money?" dabi spoke walking in with some jeans on but still shirtless also he was holding a plastic wrap bag of weed, you let out a soft breath of air "I lost my wallet" he just stared at with bored eyes before busting out laughing "your being dead serious aren't you!" he rubbed his hand through his hair "look I'm sorry for wasting your time dabi, can I just pay you back next time " he shook his head throwing you the bag of weed "this is on the house except for one favor" "I'm not fucking you" the expression painted on your face let you knew exactly what he wanted "damn your good at reading people or what" "camie told me she pays you with sex so she can get free weed, don't lie either she was limping when she walked out your apartment" he smiled leaning against the wall next to the hallway "how do you expect to get it free then? Paying for it tomorrow isn't gonna cover how much I put in the bag for you sugar tits" she he was right this was way more than a gram" so what's it gonna be, you leaving empty handed or limping with weed in hand".

You heard a lighter flash on and off "you on a pill or something because I don't like pulling out" he was sitting on the couch smoking the blunt he just rolled a couple minutes ago "yeah,I have some at my house" he started unzipping his pants "come here" you walked off undressing yourself but keeping your shirt on "it's you hiding your tits for me" he pats his thigh signalling you to sit on his lap. "Open" "what?" "your mouth sugar tits" you slowly opened your mouth, he took two fingers shoving them down your throat "your not wet enough for me"he finally took his fingers out of your mouth "why do you say that.." "I'm to big and definitely haven't been stretched out, piercings might rip a new hole in you" piercings? He reached down taking off your panties in one tug,he turned you facing his wall with you against his back "what your last dude's dick size" that is really personal "A 6 I think" he opened your folds looking at some slickness beginning to gather "did he make you cum?" "no" he showed you a bright grin, placing a thumb on your clit, rubbing circles into it "a clit piercing would look good on you" he left a kiss on your cheek. "Your ready" dabi turned you back around facing him,"hold this for me baby" he pushed his blunt between your lips, he pulled his pants down by his ankles, there was ball piercings going down his length.

You held on to his shoulder for comfort, your walls weren't used to this feeling however dabi wasn't moving, too busy taking small puffs from his blunt with his head leaned back into the sofa "your a great cockwarmer sugar tits" he lifted his head back up "ever shotgun?" "No?" he grabbed you by your shirt pulling you into a kiss, you inhaled the smoke up your nostrils "your a good kisser" dabi gripped your ass, the friction of the piercings against your walls had you clenching down every thrust, dabi had no true goal besides aiming for that special spot, this position at any rate wasn't gonna him nowhere close though.In the meantime you were leaving small moans here and there, you didn't wanna give dabi that satisfaction of making you cum so easily, suddenly dabi got up off the couch immediately turning toward the couch, you could feel his cock poking your ass,eventually he pulled both your arms,sinking back into your velvet walls.

Dabi forced your face into the plushy part of the leather couch,although you promised yourself to contain your moans, dabi was ruthlessly rutting himself into you,he was progressively becoming more rough with his thrusts, your eyesight became dark blurs,you knew were close to cumming.

There was a sharp pain on your shoulder, you looked over to find dabi biting down on you, you felt his thumb rub against your clit,afterward that was the last push to send you overboard. Dabi came after you

You lazily slouched down,coming from your high, dabi left hickies on your neck to your shoulders before calling out "Wanna spark up before round 2"

Thank you for reading :) - I don't know what came over me for writing this to be honest . Though him progressively becoming an asshole was my main goal at some point. Follow me for more❤️

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[kpoptimeout]

Top 10 Most Underrated K-pop Songs of 2019 (Idol Edition)

2019 has come and gone before we knew it.  

Continuing with the K-Pop Timeout Tradition (see 2018 Ver) of listing the Top 10 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs because all the other sites are just bothered with the Top 10 that pretty much everyone will have heard of/have fan wars over, below are our top 10 picks of songs that did not rank high but deserves your attention!

Like last year we have a separate post for Top 10 underrated non-idol tracks. Unlike usual years where there is a separate post made for Top 10 underrated K-Drama OSTs, this year there is instead posts for the Top 20 most underrated K-Pop songs of the decade.

Some of the artists have escaped the list in recent years to stardom (like NU’EST, N.FLYING, and OH MY GIRL), so hopefully, it happens again!

This is in alphabetic order NOT in the order of awesomeness because all of them are awesome. Also, all MVs are linked in the song titles because Tumblr won’t let me share that many videos in one post.

1TEAM “Vibe”

After braving through the shitshows of Mnet’s BOYS24 and YG’s MIXNINE, these talented boys finally debut as 1TEAM under Liveworks Entertainment (the label for the solo promotions of SHINHWA’s Hyesung and Minwoo). This debut song of 1TEAM highlights some of the key strengths of the group - their extremely laid-back retro sound and also addictive hooks. With K-Pop boy bands going for increasingly dramatic and over the top complex sounds due to the popularity of hype bops among overseas fans, it is a breath of fresh air to see 1TEAM deliver such a chill and amazing song and it is unfortunate they have yet to receive more attention both in South Korea and overseas. They continue this sound in their comeback “ROLLING ROLLING” and went more mature and sexy while still simple and retro in “MAKE THIS”, showing that they will continue to develop this unique sound. If you like the relaxing summer sound of WINNER, you would also love 1TEAM’s “Vibe”! 

3YE “OOMM (Out Of My Mind)”

After not getting much attention as Apple.B under GH Entertainment, 3 of the original Apple.B members Yuji, Yurim, and Haeun re-debuted as 3YE. And this was the right re-debut to make as the girls went from generic cutesy to edgy and hard in the most unexpected way. “OOM (Out of My Mind)”, their first comeback track, is definitely a powerful bop but what makes it stand out from other hyped-up party tracks is the structure of the song. The first verses were typical powerful girl group song sounding (a mixture of RnB vocals and rap), but things change up quickly at the bridge. The song suddenly becomes very melodic and sounding like something you would expect from a quirky girl group track. Then the song changes again, creating a dark and breathy build-up reminiscent to Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” and “all the good girls go to hell”. Only then do we get the beat drop you would expect from a lit girl group track and the adventurous path to get there makes the drop all the more enjoyable. Also, all three girls’ have amazing stage presence to carry the powerful choreo. If you love powerful girl groups like BLACKPINK and EVERGLOW, you should really check out 3YE’s latest song!

A.C.E “UNDER COVER”

After stints on KBS’ “The Unit” and YG’s “MIXNINE”, the boys of A.C.E have definitely increased significantly in their international fan base and have the makings of a small but dedicated Korean fan base. However, these boys really deserve a lot more attention, especially with “UNDER COVER” being one of the best and also most underrated tracks of 2019 K-Pop. After attempts with artsy edm music in their debut era and later a cuter sound in “Take Me Higher”, the boys and the label seem to have finally found their sound. It is dramatic, it is powerful, it has a strong rock influence combined with hip-hop and RnB. Honestly, this is what I would expect TVXQ to sound like if they debuted in the late 2010s (cries thinking about OT5 early days and their rock influence tracks). This song also clearly highlights the strength of every member - Byeongkwan’s playful rap and diva-like stage presence, Wow’s more relaxed rap and sexy charms, Chan’s boyish appeal and perfect complementation of other members’ sounds, Jun’s attractive vocal colour and Donghun’s emotive voice and wide vocal range. If you love the dramatic and powerful boy band tracks like the bops of B.A.P, it is time to stream “UNDER COVER”!

fromis_9 “FUN!”

After the amazing comeback with “Love Bomb” last year, I really did not know how fromis_9 can top that but they really did with “FUN!” They continue to go for the really quirky, really weird and playful cute girl group sound they perfected in “Love Bomb” to bring an amazing and refreshing summer track. “FUN!” has a ridiculously catchy hook and like other fromis_9 songs have beautiful bridge parts to also showcase the members’ amazing vocal abilities and harmonies often hidden under their hype and wild choruses. Also, the music video is a delight, with the girls’ parodying various CFs. The album for this song peaked at #2 on Gaon Charts but somehow this amazing title track did not rank at all on Gaon and only peaked at #94 on the K-Pop Hot 100 of Billboard. If you love the addictive, fun and weird side of girl groups like Red Velvet and Oh My Girl, you would really enjoy fromis_9′s “FUN!”

GWSN “Pinky Star (RUN)”

After a unique debut and a string of consistent bops, it is unclear why most K-Pop fans are still sleeping on GWSN. “Pinky Star (RUN)” is an amazing song, showcasing GWSN’s indie video game-like sound which is heavily electronic and 8-bit like yet has all the K-Pop high notes and dance breaks you would also expect. This perfect blend of the girls’ unique sound and a seasoned K-Pop style production makes the song all the more amazing and it all the more infuriating they are still quite a nugu group in South Korea. The MV is also beautifully shot, with amazing sets and smart use of the aspect ratios. If you love to see the artsy pop vibes of BOL4 and IU married with the quirky girl group sounds of Oh My Girl, you would love GWSN’s “Pinky Star (RUN)”!

JBJ95 “Awake”

After PRODUCE 101 Season 2 and the success of JBJ, JBJ members Sanggyun and Kenta continue as duo JBJ95 and continue delivering quality music. One of their best songs and one of the best of K-Pop this year is arguably “Awake”. The song excels in having this bright and dreamy texture to it, which blends perfectly with the concept of the song and the Bauhaus-styled MV set pieces. Those listening to the song which literally feel woken up by the upbeat chorus which incorporates some dancehall beats into this electro-pop song. While JBJ95 are without a doubt doing quite well out of the post-PRODUCE 101 groups with variety show appearances and web drama roles, this song did not win any awards albeit its superb quality. If you are a fan of SHINee’s more fun and dream-like tracks like “Why So Serious?” and “View”, you would love this song!

KNK “Sunset”

Last year was extremely annoying when IN2IT’s “Snapshot” and SF9’s “Now or Never” flew under the radar of most K-Pop fans and the Korean public in general for their sexy supermodel runway sounds. Apparently, people have still not learned their lesson this year with the spectacular release by KNK in the form of “Sunset”. These talented men are back again with one of the best concepts ever - the song is just a 90s house bop that serves expensive runway model realness. The chorus of simply just Seoham saying “Sunset, for-for y'all” again and again in his deep voice is definitely one of the highlights of the song along with the classy and mature choreography. The MV of this absolute bop is also an example of how low-budget MVs can look expensive if there’s good camera work, creative lighting and smart editing choices. So if you liked IN2IT’s “Snapshot” and SF9’s “Now or Never” last year, and love yourself some good mature and sensual choreo like Taemin’s, “Sunset” is the song for you!

ONF “Why”

At this point, ONF is just one of the best-kept secrets in K-Pop. All the members already showcased their immense talent on YG’s “MIXNINE” but somehow South Korea still does not seem to know they exist. And it is infuriating that after a masterpiece like “Why”, they are still swimming in absolute nugu-dom. This song sounds ridiculously dramatic, with beautiful high notes and sentimental harmonica/synth instrumentals in the chorus. One of the highlights of the song is Wyatt’s deep-voiced speed rapping which was layered with multiple effects so that it sounded like it was being received through a device from afar and also serves to make it so much more grungier. Basically, the song sounds like it could be the OST for a high-budget Netflix dystopian sci-fi series and the MV shot in Moscow actually gave us some very expensive looking CGI and effects. It is difficult for me to find a song to compare “Why” to but if you love yourself a dramatic boyband track, you should really check it out!

SAAY “ZGZG”

This song just hits hard in a very unique way. Following her departure from EvoL (a highly underrated girl group), Kwon Sohee/SAAY has mainly worked as a producer and songwriter, penning bops for SM Entertainment and often working with Super Junior M’s Henry Lau. As a solo artist, she shows that she has a lot to show in “ZGZG”, which honestly would not be such a great song if not carried by her off-the-charts amount of charisma. The chorus is just her swag-filled mumbling of the word(s?) “ZGZG” and it works because of her attitude. She also belts high notes and delivers smoking hot bars when she raps in the song too. If you are a fan of confident female solos like Hyuna, Sunmi, and Chungha, I now urge you to check out this amazing song by SAAY!

UP10TION “Your Gravity”

UP10TION is an extremely talented group but have failed to make a mark in the K-Pop industry due to years of TOP Media’s mismanagement. One of the biggest mismanagement moves, in my opinion, was giving UP10TION good but extremely generic K-Pop title tracks. There was never a song that screamed: “this is an UP10TION-only track.” I can go on forever about TOP Media’s poor management of all its groups but now is the time to focus on what a brilliant song “Your Gravity” is - UP10TION has finally found a unique sound and they really owned this song, making it arguably one of the best and most underrated songs of the year. The song plays on an addictive synth hook and good use of diverse beats. The whole song just sounded super fresh yet not cutesy but high energy at the same time - a rare example of balancing freshness and coolness. The MV is also filmed very well, with shots from very interesting angles and great use of a few set pieces in a variety of ways. The closest comparisons I can make would probably be WANNA ONE’s “Energetic” era. If you love a powerful and feel-good track, UP10TION’s “Your Gravity” is the song for you!

Special Mentions of Underrated Debuts:

There were many strong debuts this year and I would like to mention 2 underrated rookie groups to look out for in 2020!

Male - 1TEAM “Make This”

I have already discussed 1TEAM’s greatness and music style above, but the reason I also chose them as the most underrated male group debut is because out of all the underrated male idol debuts this year, 1TEAM is the only one that have already showed us their consistency and duality. “MAKE THIS” continues 1TEAM’s retro sound and aesthetic - the song sounds like how people in the 80s think future sexy music would be like and also how people right now thought 80s sexy music remade might sound like. So even though 1TEAM went from soft and cute in their first two title tracks to mature in this latest comeback, they still stayed true to their retro sound. The MV is also delight due to the very “2001: A Space Odyssey” inspired looking set pieces.

Female - BVNDIT “Dumb”

MND Entertainment’s newest girl group and basically Chungha’s younger sisters, BVNDIT may have been overlooked as they debuted in the same year as JYP’s ITZY, HINAPIA which features PRISTIN members, and a string of post-PRODUCE 48 girl groups like EVERGLOW, CHERRY BULLET and ROCKET PUNCH. However, BVNDIT has a lot to offer and has likely one of the most standout sounds and looks. The girls all have confidence and stage presence unlike any rookie girl group and this really shined in their songs following the safer pop song debut with “Hocus Pocus.” The south-east Asian and Latin American influences in the drums used in their songs like “Dramatic” and “Dumb” also gives them an opportunity to attempt more powerful and mature choreography than some of the rookies, giving them an additional edge. With the company now starting to use a “Chungha-like budget” in their production as seen in the “Dumb” MV, I believe we can expect a lot from BVNDIT in 2019.

Which idol songs do you think were underrated this year? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below and let the song sharing begin!!!

[grimelords]

My March playlist is finished! This one is slightly more diverse than usual, swinging all the way from vibraphone jazz to Bhad Bhabie to black metal so I’ve taken the liberty of actually sequencing it properly for you. So if you’ve got 3 hours you can listen to this straight through and be taken for a hell of a ride. No matter what you like I’m sure you’ll find something in here that you love.

Tahiti - Milt Jackson: For an unknown reason I had a big jazz vibraphone phase this month and when you're talking jazz vibraphone you're talking the Wizard Of The Vibes himself, Milt Jackson. I feel insane even having an opinion on this but it's a shame that some of the best vibraphone performances were made at a time when the actual recording technology wasn't really there, they all have this very thin quality that I think misses a lot of the great character of the instrument.

Detour - Bill Le Sage: Like compare this from 1971 to Wizard Of The Vibes from 1952, the sounds is miles warmer and gives so much more of the full range and detail of the instrument. I also listened to this song five times in a row when I first heard it, the central refrain is just so fuckin good. Like I said, big vibes vibe and who knows why.

Blowin' The Blues Away - Buddy Rich And His Sextet: Superhuman playing aside, it's unbelievable how good these drums sound. The whole first minute just feels like a tour of each specific drum and I absolutely revel in it. I feel like flute and vibes is a relatively rare combo so it's extremely nice to hear Sam Most and Mike Manieri go ham in tandem.

Yama Yama - Yamasuki Singers: A friend sent me this song that he's had stuck in his head for ten years ever since it was in a beer ad from the days when beer ads were incredible strange for complicated legal reasons about not showing people enjoying the product or something https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORfkh0OojxY and this incredible song is apparently from a 1971 French concept album where a couple of guys wrote a bunch of psychedelic songs in Japanese for an unknown reason that later became a massive drum and bass breaks album, and one of the guys was Thomas Bangalter from Daft Punk's dad! Music is crazy.

Alfonso Muskedunder - Todd Terje: I'm starting a petition to get Todd Terje to write the soundtrack for the next Mario Kart. I absolutely love this song and this whole album because it's so joyful and strange and it just sounds like nothing else I've ever heard. He seem to truly operate in a world entirely of his own.

Pala - Roland Tings: I love this song. It's like he wrote it with normal sounds and then went back and replaced every instrument with the party version. This song hands you a coconut and says welcome to the island where bad vibes are punishable by firing squad.

Keygen 13 - Haze Edit - Dubmood: There's a fucking album of keygen music on spotify and it's absolutely great and so good that someone's doing the work to recognize the value of the music this extremely weird scene produced and preserve it. If you don't know, back in the day when you pirated photoshop or whatever, you would download a license key generator which was a program made by extreme nerds who had cracked the license key algorithm to give you a fake one, and for unknown reasons they would make the keygen program play original chiptune music that someone in their nerd crew would compose. Who knows why but god bless them.

My Moon My Man (Boys Noize Remix) - Feist: The very concept of a Boys Noize remix of My Moon My Man is hilarious and it turns out it sounds absolutely amazing as well. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Low Blows - Meg Mac: I had a big Meg Mac phase this month too, listened to her album a lot and it's extremely solid. Great timing too cause her new one comes out in a month or so too. I really am excited to hear her next album because she's so good but I've always got this feeling that she hasn't reached her full potential yet, she's only going to get a million times better in an album or two.

Patience - Tame Impala: I love that the cover of this single is a pic of congas because it feels like that's the central thesis here. Kevin Parker bought some congas and is making disco Tame Impala now and I really couldn't be happier about it.

Unconditional (feat. Kitten) - Touch Sensitive: I love a 90s throwback done with love. There's nothing cynical or ironic about this it's just fun as hell!

Last Hurrah - Bebe Rexha: Get a fucking load of this Bebe Rexha song that interpolates Buy U A Drank by T-Pain for the chorus! It's a testament to how good that song is that she's using the verse melody as the chorus. T-Pain will quite literally never get the respect he deserves. Also this song goes for 2.5 minutes. There's something happening where pop songwriting is getting more and more compact, completely trimming the fat and ornamentation and it's very interesting.

Hi Bich - Bad Bhabie: Also I'm fully six months late on Hi Bich but I'm of the opinion that it's extremely fucking good. A perfect little reaction gif of a song and it only goes for 1m45!

Friends - Flume: I'm doubling down on my thesis about emo rap from last month but this song literally sounds like a Flume remix of a Hawthorne Heights song. The whole melody of it, the overlapping yelled/clean vocals. The lyrics obviously. I don't know it's just very odd how close it is. A sort of emo trojan horse to trick people into thinking The Used are cool again. 

How To Build A Relationship (feat. JPEGMAFIA) - Flume: I've been meaning to check out JPEGMAFIA (AKA Buttermilk Jesus AKA DJ Half-Court Violation AKA Lil' World Cup) for a while but this is the song that convinced me. There's just so much to digest in this. Every line is gold and delivered with massive conviction even when he realises it's total nonsense like 'dont call me unless I gave you my number'.

Bells & Circles (feat. Iggy Pop) - Underworld: Underworld alive 2019?? I love this song becuase Iggy Pop has been riding a fine line between punk provocateur and old man yells at cloud for a while now and this song is the perfect mix of both. You can't hijack airplanes and redirect them to cuba anymore and as a result it's over for liberal democracies. Just yelling about air travel for six minutes and it's good.

Guns Blazing (Drums Of Death Pt. 1) - UNKLE: This beat is some of my favourite DJ Shadow work I think. The menacing organ bass throughout, and especially the distorted drum freakout near the end. It's just great all the way through.

Homo Deus IV - Deantoni Parks: Another Deantoni Parks track like I was raving about last month. This whole album is great and flows together as a single piece of work amazingly. I love the purposefully limited sample palette of each track forcing an evolving groove throughout. He absolutely wrings every bit of variation he can get out of every single sound he uses and once you get into the groove of it it's absolutely mind blowing.

Boredom - The Drones: I love that The Drones can write a song about joining ISIS that's also a lot of fun. Spelling out radicalization in a way anyone can understand and sympathise with and then switching it in the second verse to spell out how we got into this situation anyway. 

Loinclothing - Hunters And Collectors: I love how much this song sounds like a voodoo celebration in christian hell.

The Fun Machine Took A Shit And Died - Queens Of The Stone Age: There's a good bit on the live dvd they put out after Lullabies To Paralyze where they play this song and they say it was supposed to be on the album but somebody stole the master recordings from the studio, which is an incredible and brazen crime. Then when they put it out on Era Vulgaris as a bonus track Josh Homme said in an interview "The tapes got lost. Actually, they were just at another studio, but we falsely accused everyone in the world of theft" which is extremely funny. This is really one of their best songs and I sort of really with it had been on Lullabies because it fits perfectly between The Blood Is Love and Someone's In The Wolf type of vibes, I love how it just kind of keeps shifting ideas and riffs throughout. An absolute jam overflowing with ideas.

10AM Automatic - The Black Keys: This song is an all time great in my opinion. It's so straightforward and so effective. I wonder if we'll get a blues rock revival ever or if Jack White still being alive and bad is souring everyone on that idea. This song also has one of my favourite guitar sounds in history I think - the outrageously huge sounding solo that comes out of nowhere and swallows up the rest of the mix like a swirling black hole near the end.

Gamma Knife - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard: I've never gotten much into King Gizzard and because of their one million albums already it's hard to know where to start but I've been listening to Nonagon Infinity a bit and it's great, it's just good old fashioned 70s prog jams front to back.

Gina Works At Hearts - DZ Deathrays: I absolutely love this song and I absolutely love the second guitar sound in the chorus of this song that sounds like it's made out of thin steel.

Black Brick - Deafheaven: When I saw Deafheaven the other month I was right up the front and it was a life changingly great experience AND they played this new song live for the first time before it went up everywhere like three hours later which was very exciting to be given a sclusie like that. After they finished a guy behind me whispered to his friend "Slayer..." which was very funny to me.

Gemini - Elder: I found this band because one of my Spotify Daily Mixes was all stoner metal for a while, which is a good genre to see all lined up because it'll have Weedeater, Bongripper AND Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats right there in a row for you. Anyway this album is extremely good, the very best kind of stoner metal where it's groovy and fun and has big meaty riffs and ripping big solos and it's extremely easy to listen to three times in a row.

The Paradise Gallows - Inter Arma: My big obsession the past little while has been Inter Arma ever since Stereogum posted The Atavist's Meridian from their new album. It is just so fucking good and I can't believe I've never heard of them before. You know when you find out about an amazing band and then you find out they've been around for nearly ten years and you can't believe everyone in your life has been selfishly hiding them from you?

The Atavist's Meridian - Inter Arma: I think a big part of my enjoyment of this band has also been that I discovered them at the same time as I'm listening to an audiobook of the complete Conan The Barbarian omnibus so I'm very much in the brain space for music that sounds like it would be nice to swing an axe to.

Untoward Evocation - Impetuous Ritual: I love how halfway through this kind of just turns into a big swirling mist of dark sounds. It feels so formless and dark that it could just shake apart and dissipate at any moment and you'd look down to realise your skin is gone.

Eagle On A Pole - Conor Oberst: from Genius: 'In an interview with MTV news, Oberst stated “We were on the bus one day and a friend of ours that travels with us and works for the band kind of came out from the back of the bus and said that first line: ‘Saw an eagle on a pole… I think it was an eagle.’ And then this guy Simon Joyner, who is a great songwriter from Omaha and one of my great friends, he was on tour with us and sitting there and he was like, ‘You know, that’s a great name for a song.’ We kind of had a contest where he wrote a song with that first line, and [then] I did, and a couple of our other friends. We kind of all played them for each other. Simon’s is better than mine, but it is a good line to start a song.” Another version–Mystic Valley Band drummer Jason Boesel’s interpretation–is on the next album, Outer South.' The idea that such a good song has such a braindead origin only makes me love it more.

Lake Marie - John Prine: When I saw John Prine the other month he played this song that I had never heard before and I had to look it up after and now I'm completely obsessed with it. It feels like falling asleep during a movie and missing a critical plot point so the rest doesn't make sense when you wake up but is thrilling nonetheless. Also he absolutely screamed "SHADOWS!!!" when he played it which was a fucking cool thing to see a 72 year old man do.

Little White Dove - Jenny Lewis: The drums on this whole album are absolutely huge for some reason and I love it. My favourite recent sound is in the first chorus where there's a funny little pitch correction noise as she sings 'dove'. It's very strange and very very good.

Locked Up - The Ocean Party: I only found out The Ocean Party existed as they announced their farewell show this month which is a real shame but I'm glad I got to hear of them at all because they're very good. A very good song about that feeling we all know and love: driving for a long long time.

Plain & Sane & Simple Melody - Ted Lucas: I found out about this song from Emma Ruth Rundle's Amoeba Records video and she makes a good point about this whole album sounding like something's gone wrong and it got accidentally pitched down slightly in the recording process. It's unclear if that's what happened or that's just how he sounds but it adds a very softly spooky undercurrent to a very nice song.​ 

listen here

[yume-no-ai]

Hana-chan’s Birthday

Pairing: Karamatsu x Hana

Warning: Mild rated

A/N: I typed this on my phone so I haven’t proofread and edit much. So sorry for many grammar and spelling errors. Enjoy 💖

A tall man with hazelnut hair and blonde highlights stared at a picture of a woman wearing blue sparkly revealing bunny costume showing a v sign. A dark haired man standing next to him also staring at the picture. Both of their eyes and mouth immediately widened and hang open when they saw the picture. 

“So, what do you think? It’s perfect for my birthday costume right? A sparkly bunny theme! Everyone can wear sparkly outfits too!” Atsuko Hana, who showed the picture and now stood infront of them, waiting to hear for opinions. Hana saw blood dripping out of Karamatsu’s nose and he quickly wiped it off. “Karamatsu? Nii-chan?”

“U-uhm...honey...do you really want to wear this on your birthday party?” asked Karamatsu. He flinched when the man beside him hid the picture from his gaze. “Yes, Kara-chan! You can wear your revealing sparkly outfit so we can be matchy matchy!” Hana answered. Her eyes were glowing at the two person she loves so much. “Then wear it, Hana! I love the costume too!” said Karamatsu. Hana was so happy she threw herself on her boyfriend, giving a tight hug. Karamatsu is always there to support her and willing to do anything to make her happy. Besides, it’s for her birthday.

“The answer is no” answered the hazelnut haired man. The man stared at the couple and growled at Karamatsu, making him throwing his hands in the air. “Niichan why??” Hana pouted while still hugging on Karamatsu’s torso. “Hana baby. The dress is too revealing! I don’t want others to see you in that costume,” Atsuko Kiyoshi explained. He removed Hana from Karamatsu. “By the way, who snapped this photo of you? And where did you get this costume?”

------3 days earlier------

“Ayame! How do I look?!” Hana said in her loud cheery voice as she walked in to her best friend’s house. She had a spare key.

Walking out from the kitchen, Ayame nearly dropped off her coffee mug. “OH MY GOD HANA!!! What are you wearing?!!”

Hana twirled around and showing off to Ayame, “Do you like it? I rented it and gonna use it for my birthday party!!”

“I... I do! It’s too sparkly and it suits you, Hana-chan” Ayame said truthfully. She took a sip of her coffee and her eyes were searching for something. “Hana-chan?”

“Yes, Ayame?”

“Do you bring any extra clothes?”

Hana’s answer made Ayame chocked on her coffee, “Oh I don’t bring any extra clothes!”

“WHAT??!!! You telling me you came to my house in that??!! Then what’s in your bag right now?” Ayame’s eyes were as wide as yours right now.

“My phone, wallet and instax camera,” answered Hana. Ayame’s reaction made Hana tilted her head in confusion. “Young lady...you bring a camera but not your clothes???” Ayame still in disbelief.

Before Ayame could say another word, Hana handed her instax camera to take a picture of her.

Ayame sighed, placed her mug on the coffee table and took the camera. She will surely lend Hana one of her clothes. Don’t want her to go back like that.

----- Present-----

The three of them were in Hana’s house. Kiyoshi dropped by to his little sister’s house after a photoshoot he had in Tokyo. He was very thrilled when Hana texted him to come by. But he turned frown and grumpy when he saw Karamatsu was there too. Not that he dislike Karamatsu but he is a very protective brother towards his sister. He does not want Hana to experience painful love again. But seeing Hana really loves Karamatsu, he decided to gain a bit trust on him.

“Niichan, I’m in my 20′s and my birthday is coming soon. I am an adult now,” pouted Hana. She walked over to her 2 seated-couch and sat down. Before Karamatsu can sit beside her, Kiyoshi quickly occupied the space; leaving Karamatsu sat on a single seated couch across them. Kiyoshi turned his attention to Hana and pat her head.

"Hana, I know you’re growing up. But you’re also still a lady. And you don’t know how many thirsty men will look at your body if you wear that. I’m so sorry, Hana. I won’t let you. I think even Karamatsu agree with me, right Karamatsu??” Kiyoshi gave a dangerous look that made Karamatsu gulped his own saliva and sweating. Hana didn’t notice.

“A-aah! Yes!! I agree with him, Hana-chan!”

Hana, still pouting, feeling very disappointed with her oniichan’s answer. And it’s not that cheap renting. She sighed and nodded.

“Fine. I will listen to you. But you need to pay back the rental money! It’s not cheap”, Hana still pouting at her brother which Kiyoshi found her cute. “Just tell the price away, Hana” answered Kiyoshi easily. Damn... Karamatsu wished to be like him. Rich and hoping to say the same statement like that to Hana.

On her birthday, Ayame threw a suprise birthday party that was planned carefully with the sextuplets, Momoka, Chisato, Yuzu and Kiyoshi few days before. And it worked! Hana didn’t expect them to throw a party at evening in a restaurant for her!

Everyone were enjoying themselves to buffet. Especially the Matsuno. Karamatsu warned his brothers to behave before going to the party but failed. He was laughing nervously when everyone saw his brothers eating like pigs on someone’s birthday. Hana reassured him that it’s okay to let them enjoy theirselves.

Ayame went to Kiyoshi’s side and nudged him on the hip. “You sure Hana is okay to not wear her birthday costume for her party tonight, Kiyoshi-nii?” Ayame whispered. Kiyoshi looked at Hana, who was chatting with Momoka, Chisato and Yuzu on dining table, looking no sign of sadness, he answered proudly, “It’s fine. She looks cute in those floral blue and white dress. And oh- I..picked out for her.”

Ayame gave a look to Kiyoshi. “What? Don’t worry yourself and enjoy the party, Aya-chan! Come! Let nii pour you another champagne”, said Kiyoshi while dragging Ayame to the champagne table.

Few hours later, Hana excused herself quietly and went to the restaurant’s balcony. She closed the door and slowly walked to the outdoor bench. The night view outside of the restaurant was so beautiful. Down below was a view of a street while above view was full with stars. She slowly walked towards the bench, loving the clicking sound of her heels steps. She sat down as she reached.

The peaceful sounds made her wanted to sleep on the bench until she heard a soft click behind her.

“......Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your thoughts.”

Seeing who had said that made her felt relieved and smiled.

“No worries. Join me, my love.”

Karamatsu quickly walked to the bench and sat beside her. “Why are you not inside? Are you not enjoying your party?”

She shooked her head. “I love it. It’s just...”

“Just what, honey?” Karamatsu looked worried for his girlfriend. He scooted nearer to Hana and placed his arm around her.

“I...I may sounds unreasonable but...I really want to wear the bunny costume for my birthday party,” she confessed.

“I am already in my adulthood. I know niichan wants to protect me but I never said anything when he wears something much more revealing and have his girls surrounding him on his birthday party. It’s just....so unfair.” Hana looked at Karamatsu to see if there’s any sign of unbelievable on his face. But Karamatsu just smiled and chuckled.

“I thought you had a stomach ache or you’re not feeling well. But I’m glad that is your reason” Karamatsu said.

“I understand that you want to strut your stuff on your very special day. And I love the outfit so much because you look beautiful in it. And sexy~” Karamatsu used his deep casanova voice on the last part, making Hana giggle.

“But I also understand about Kiyoshi-san trying to protect you. I....actually will feel jealous too if others seeing you in that. Especially by my brothers.”

Karamatsu’s confession made Hana go silence and thinking deep. And Karamatsu again broke her thoughts. He slowly leaning towards Hana’s face, his voice went low and breathy,

“If you still want to wear it on your special day, we still have 3 more hours to celebrate! But....the people invited on the list will be only us two. And celebrate at your apartment. What do you say, Hana?”. Karamatsu’s lips was dangerously onto Hana’s. One move and the lips will meet each other.

And Hana being bold, closed in with a long quick peck before answered, “Sure.”

Their journey to rush back home was difficult by sneaking past through the crowds, the big boss a.k.a Kiyoshi and the second big boss a.k.a Ayame but they managed to escape from it without anyone noticing.

In the taxi they took, neither  of them actually wanted to let go of each other but must behave since they were in public. The lust atmosphere was so heavy you can cut through them.

Reaching upon Hana’s apartment, both of them already calmed down and Hana was so excited to try on her birthday suit! Less than 2 hours left to celebrate Hana’s birthday in her costume.

Karamatsu took off his shoes and arrange them neatly along with Hana’s. He walked to the living room and sat down on the long couch, waiting for his honey to come out of the bedroom showing her sexy costume.

Not long after, the bedroom door creaked open and revealed a sexy figure with sparkly glitters costume. He loves the view so much he wanted to explode right here and now!

Hana walked towards where Karamatsu was sitting. She slowly and carefully pushed Karamatsu so he can sit and relax on the sofa. Hana lifted her right leg and placed beside Karamatsu’s left side. Same goes to her left beside his right. She sat comfortably on top of her lover’s lap and wrapped her arms around Karamatsu’s neck.

Karamatsu’s right hand slid onto Hana’s back, playing a bit with the bunny tail that attached to the costume while his left hand trailing up and down on Hana’s right thigh. He loves the feeling of the stoking that Hana wore right now. He loves the bunny ears on Hana’s head. He loves everything about Hana right now.

The two slowly grinding their hips together.

“Happy Birthday, Atsuko Hana. I hope you had a blast today, my love” Karamatsu wished in breathy and sexy tone.

“I think I will have a blast tonight, darling” answered Hana, latching her lips onto Karamatsu’s.

It was indeed a blasting night. Both of them were enjoying one another and let’s just say, they got scolded on the next day for putting their phone on silent.

[v-thinks-on]

tagged by: @wingittofreedom

I’ve never done one of these before! Thank you for tagging me! :D I like talking about my writing and am very indecisive, so this ended up a little longer than intended...

your name: My pen name is VTsuion (though for a little while I tried out Camille V. Watson when I thought I was going to be doing more original fiction). The V represents my real name and Tsuion is the last name that a friend suggested for my first OC way back in middle school, and somehow it just stuck.

fandoms you write for: These days, mostly Star Trek: The Original Series and the associated movies (sorry, no AOS), but my first love is the original Sherlock Holmes stories, and I will always come back to them. I’ve also been watching sports anime recently and am currently rewatching Kuroko’s Basketball, so there may be some of that brewing… Generally, anything I read/watch is fair game, but I do have favorites.

where you post: These days, mostly Archive of Our Own, Tumblr, of course, and I do still post on FanFiction.net, where my unpolished oldest writing lives.

most popular one shot: I wasn’t sure whether to measure popularity by hits or kudos, so I did both: the most viewed is A Hidden Personal Thing - Kirk and Spock mindmeld for the first time after “Dagger of the Mind” - and the most well-liked is The Language of Chess - Spock and Kirk flirt using the Vulcan language of chess.

most popular multi-chapter story: Murder and a Family Reunited - my ancient messy crossover between BBC’s Sherlock and Harry Potter - will probably always be my most well-read story by a long shot. Of the things I’ve written recently, For a Stranger - my first stab at Spock getting his memory back after “Search for Spock” - and A Prince Comes Upon a Tower in the Woods - Kirk is a prince who rescues Spock, a cursed knight, from a tower - are tied for most well-liked.

favorite story you’ve written: If I absolutely had to give one, I’d probably say Violin in the Middle of the Night - Watson wakes up from a nightmare to hear Holmes playing the violin - because it gave me a chance to do some pretty writing, and I think it works. I also think my silly crossovers - Spock in Wonderland, Millennium Deathnote (Yugioh and Death Note), and Stars (Star Trek vs. Star Wars) - deserve a shout-out just because they were so much fun to write.

story you were nervous to post: The story I’m most nervous to post is actually one I haven’t posted yet about Kirk and Spock undergoing pon farr together. No one actually has sex, but it has a lot of questionable consent just because of the nature of pon farr, and it’s the closest I get to addressing sex in any of my stories. I’m also not sure about the ending, so it may have to undergo some editing before I post it… Of my stories that are actually up, I was probably most nervous to post I-Chaya - pure Kirk/Spock fluff - because it was the first real fluff that I wrote. I was also a little nervous about Human, Vulcan, and Everything in Between because it reflects a headcanon that I have a lot of feelings about and isn’t very common (Spock is asexual, Kirk is polyamorous, and they make it work).

how do you choose titles: Sometimes the title will just come to me as part of the story. Otherwise, I try to take as much from the source material as I can, including titles, because I have a hard time coming up with additional details outside of the key premise of what I’m writing. I also like using song titles. If there isn’t anything obvious, I think of something, usually simple, short, and descriptive.

do you outline: On the bottom of the page, after all my longer stories, is an often multi-page outline detailing the planned events, character arcs, etc… Though things do often change as I write them.

how many of your stories are complete: 57 works are listed as complete on AO3, an additional 15 older stories have only been posted on FanFiction.net. I also have a significant backlog of 13 stories waiting to be posted, including the two that are coming out now (I don’t start posting anything until it’s completely done), plus one essay.

how many of your stories are in progress: I mostly just work on one story at a time, since otherwise I get overwhelmed by the amount of things I could be working on at any given moment. However, there are 8 more stories that I’ve started, but have been temporarily put on hold, not to mention all the stories in various stages of incompleteness that I don’t have any plans of getting back to (including 6 stories listed as in progress on FanFiction.net that were last updated before 2013). There are also 3 series of shorts that are essentially complete as they are, but that I could always add to. Really, most of my stories could gain an extra chapter/sequel if I thought of something or received a prompt for it.

coming soon: Since I post on a schedule with a backlog, I actually have things planned for months to come. One of the stories I’m currently posting, We Know That We Need, But Not What - Kirk and Spock sort out their relationship after The Motion Picture - has a sequel set on a planet with empathic plants which I’ll start posting pretty much as soon as the first installment is done (it’s already been written). My next major project, which I’m currently finishing up writing, is Generations - Kirk survives Star Trek: Generations, hangs out with the crew of The Next Generation, reunites with Spock, and makes a life for himself in the 24th century.

do you accept prompts: Yes! That’s actually one of the reasons I started this blog, though I’ve been keeping pretty busy with my own ideas. If there’s anything you want me to write, please send in an ask! Questions are also appreciated!

upcoming story you’re most excited to write: I’ve been a little bit all over the place lately. Until a few days ago, I was raring to get back to writing To the Stars and Back Again - Kirk is an astronaut, Spock is a NASA scientist, and they figure out romance amidst the space race in the 1960’s. But I’ve been rewatching Kuroko’s Basketball and I got a sudden urge to reread @umisabaku’s Designation: Miracle and after that I really want to write a short Midorima/Takao fic in that universe, so that’s what I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. There are also some Sherlock Holmes things that have been on my mind for a while that I’ll get to eventually...

tagging: @warpfactornonsense @plaidshirtjimkirk @umisabaku, and anyone else who has feelings about their writing!

[tinabritton-photography]

Artisan research -

In class we were directed to find 5 movie clips, one of which needs to be of an artisan, as this is what our video is to be about.

One of my all time favourite movies since I was a kid was The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. I don’t feel like I’m cheating by adding this film, even though Iain Wallace showed it in class. So many memories flooded back as we watched this film clip. My dad was a Clint Eastwood fan and a fan of the spagetti westerns. I must have seen this particular film 100 times.

2nd sclip is an artisan clip titled The Artisan Press - A film by Stefan José Films @stefanjosefilms. I was inspired by the video in such a way that it made me want to go try the technique. The music was just right and I really liked how the artisan spoke about his craft throughout and the close shots and depth of field used in the video.

3rd clip another artisan film. Shot By SASHA. I could not understand a thing the presenter was saying, but I did not need to even though it was captioned. His voice was deep and mysterious, but as I read the words, I felt the humour and when the drums boomed in the music, suddenly I felt  like I was in a photographic gunfight. The music was spot on though, thoroughly enjoyed it. Sasha is a photographer, and because I make art with my photography, that makes me, not only a photographer, but also an artisan. Black and white shots are inspiring and the whole ambience gave me goose bumps. And then I said to myself, damn, she’s using a Hasselblad! I want one.

4th clip, another fav Godzilla. I grew up on Spagetti westerns, Star Trek and Godzilla. Godzilla 2014. While I find the old Godzilla movies the best, I was rivetted by the cinematography of this 2014 version. The shots were dynamic and the entire movie was visually stunning.

Another favorite film of mine Blade Runner. A cinematic wonder. But now, we have Blade Runner 2049. A move that saw Roger A. Deakins, after 14 nominations over the years, win the Oscar® for Cinematography. I looked for some movie clips for this movie and found so many, but I also found a video created by Vice as they went to the set during the making of the film. Inside the Making of ‘Blade Runner 2049′.

I have also included ‘The Beauty Of’ which are film segments in a soundscape.

Artisan Research -

Cinematography is defined as the art and science of how light is recorded with an image sensor or on film. It encompasses the camera, how we move the camera, the images it collects and the light entering the lens.

Video is storytelling, no mature if we are making a movie or an Artisan video is key. The viewer is led through each frame at a time through the story of who a person is and why they practice their craft.

Cinematography is setting a mood framework in which to tell you story in. Camera angles and movement, lighting choices and colouring are an important part of setting a mood.

Lighting is a huge concern in Cinematography. There is natural light, if there are sufficient windows, or there is a partly cloudy day.

https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/cinematography-techniques-no-film-school/#cinematography

Different types of camera shots –

·      Close-ups creates empathy and personality

·      Extreme long shot includes lots of space about the area and landscape behind the subject. This establishes general location, say, as in the beginning of a scene.

 Camera angles –

·      High angles – Looks down on the subject. This can make the subject seem vulnerable or small so look at for this.

·      Low angle – looking up at a subject/ character. This can give the character a more powerful feel. It can also make the viewer feel smaller in comparison.

Some of the Best Lenses for filming –

 ·      Prime lenses are tops – Canon, Sony or Sigma 35mm, 40mm, 50mm, 85mm, 105mm

·      Zoom lenses – Canon 24-70mm f/2.8 USM, 70-200mm f/2.8 USM, 24-105 f/3.5-5.6 IS STM, etc.

·      https://www.adorama.com/alc/6-best-canon-lenses-for-videography

Lighting –

Film/Cinematography lighting is similar to photography lighting.

·      Lighting creates atmosphere and mood.

·      Candlelit

·      Dark and shadowy is eerie

·      Key lighting

·      Fill lighting

·      Backlighting

·      Side lighting

·      Practical lighting – Practical lighting is using lamps, candles, light from appliances like the tv. These can create rich cinematic night time scenes.

·      Bounce lighting

·      Soft lighting

·      Hard light

·      High Key lighting

·      Low key lighting

·      Motivated lighting – mimics natural light such as, moonlight, street lamps, sunlight and night time.

·      Ambient light – Using available light perhaps with some diffusers.

·      https://www.adorama.com/alc/basic-cinematography-lighting-techniques

 Mise en scene –

·      French for “The arrangement of the scenery, props, etc. on the stage of a theatrical production or on the set of a film” I.E. the setting or surroundings/composition of an event. From the Oxford dictionary.

Diegetic sound –

·      Is a sound in the scene that was natural to the scene such as an opening door and closing and footsteps recorded in real time. If a sound can be heard in real life, this is diegetic sound.

Non-diegetic sound –

·      This is sound that is added to a video work during the editing process such as music for effect or mood.

Editing –

·      Dissolve – when one scene melts into another. This can show the passage of time. The character can be in one place and then there apartment in the next.

·      Wipes – Can be used as a transitional technique from one scene to another. Use them sparingly, or not at all, in my opinion.

Camera movement –

·      Panning – This can be used to give the audience a panoramic view of a setting to establish a scene. There are different types of pans, such as, the whip pan which is fast. It jolts the audience. A slow pan gives the audience time to admire the landscape or take in the scene.

·      Slow push in –

·      Static shot –

·      The tilt – the tilt is a reveal tactic, bringing something to our attention.

·      The zoom – the zoom is sudden incoming shot into the scene.

·      The dolly – the dolly is a gliding shot that moves the camera fon a track system forward or sideways into or through a space.

·      The reverse dolly zoom – is the reverse of the dolly in that it is zooming out from the seen on a dolly track system. This is an intense technique.

·      The pedestal shot – this moves the camera up and down

·      The crane or boom shot – this could also involve a camera tilt. The crane or boom shot – the definition is in the name. This is a huge 3 dimensional move. The camera is mounted onto a crane or boom and moves in large sweeping motions to capture a scene.

·      Steadicam or gimble shot – Like a dolly, only the camera is attached to the camera operator which allows for a graceful glide through the scene.

·      Handheld shot – the camera moves through the shot much like a dolly or Steadicam, only it causes a shaky effect to the seen which adds immediacy and anxiety in the audience. We see these shots in found footage films like Blair Witch.

·      Rack Focus – the camera does not move the camera, it moves the lens. It is a focus shift.

Combining these techniques into your film can make for an interesting film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbnYBmqBbKA

Special effects –

·      Are effects that cannot be captured through the usual filming techniques.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvybQ5RpMkc

Colour Palettes –

Here are some colour palettes from my research. These are quite interesting and informative.

[kob131]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-p7bD16Fmw

Well, seeing as someone on reddit was able to sit through and deconstruct this whole thing:

I’m not gonna be outdone.

Okay so his point about Maria was fair enough but this is a point anyone vaguely aware of the show is capable of doing. 

Also: he takes a stab at Ozpin for not being Ruby’s mentor...ignoring how maria is specifically FOR the Silver Eyes AND Ozpin did mentor Ruby in how to be a Huntress and a leader. 

Which leads him to say that Ozpin was being painted as the ‘bad guy’. … No, no he wasn’t. He was portrayed as being unusually emotional and secretive. Not as someone to be opposed (ESPECIALLY after Episode 3). So no, he’s wrong.

He then talks about Salem and Ozpin and barely says anything and then calls Qrow’s portrayal as good (ignoring how he attacked a kid and we’re suppose to overlook that.) Other than that, it’s again basic but functional.

Cole then goes on to praise the Brunswick Arc like everyone else does. Not even gonna bother talking about that because, again, basic but functional. All I could say is: the setting is not unique. A fuckton of horror movies take place on farms.

We move on to Argus where...same thing you would probably say about this scenario. Again, all I could say is: Ruby nor Oscar is blindly optimistic. Also: for someone who talks about ‘wasted potential’, you sure wasted potential in pointing out how much better done Jaune’s one scene could have been.

Then we get to the part we all know he gives a shit about. The finale arc. There he tries to give three better solutions off the top of his head.

Key word being ‘tries.’

Weiss’ Summons take Aura so it would fail before reaching Atlas and even if it COULD get to Atlas, Weiss would just get arrested by her dad and most likely lose the Relic to her father and then probably the bad guys. All ignoring how Weiss doesn’t WANT to go back to her dad alone because apparently Cole doesn’t give a shit about characters and their feelings. 

Qrow doesn’t have infinite stamina, fat lot of good his flight is gonna do when he passes out in the middle of the sea, drowns and some undersea Grimm *cough* LEVIATHAN *cough* gets the Relic and brings it to Salem.

As for the final point: her father is a greedy shithole who cares about no one but himself. You know, the kind of person who would sell something for his life to someone, like say, a magical lamp to a crazy Scorpion fanaus? 

So three solutions, three failures. Great job.

Also, let I be known that Cole here thinks Weiss would be able to kill her own father. So basically, he doesn’t know a damn thing about psychology in general, let alone how abuse affects someone. 

‘Why can’t Weiss talk to Ironwood herself?’

*jabs up at the third point* because, in your own words, she’d be taken to her ‘douche’ father (you know, the guy OPPOSED to Ironwood and locked up Weiss beforehand?) Gee, sounds like you were the one who didn’t think.

And yeah, not like everyone screamed in the writer’s faces that the split up was handled poorly and the writers outright admitted they didn’t do a good job with that. Yeah, fuck knowing your limitations, not like that hasn’t been the bane of this show since Episode 1.

Then he tries to talk about the letter Qrow sent Ironwood and says that could have caused Ironwood to meet up with them. Ignoring how that would have been ‘the house’ everyone wouldn’t shut up about in Volume 5 again as well as the fact that Ruby’s letters to Yang in Volume 4 prove the service is unreliable- Ironwood is shown to be closing the borders of Atlas AND becoming paranoid. Not only wouldn’t he leave because he’d be a hypocritic but he might not even TRUST the letter. So yet another failure to add to the pile.

And so apparently the writers have to explain why other options don’t work, because treating the audience like they’re children isn’t something that would waste time for no reason (because we know he’d just ignore it) but also NOT something that detracts from the work.

And now apparently we can’t spend three episodes with a final boss of a season (so he must hate the Fall Of Beacon since that’s a whole FIVE episodes. An ACTUAL whole five episodes.)

He also tries blaming both sides for this conflict (as if Cordovon didn’t have a chance to just let them go or at least contact Ironwood for advice since SHE’S trustworthy by being one of his underlings) because...he needs it to look as ridiculous as possible. And gee, people having an internal conflict, we have I heard that before...Oh yeah, OZPIN. You know, the event YOU PRAISED because Ozpin was too stubborn and as was the rest of the cast. But hey, who cares about consistency am I right?

And no, the show didn’t set up the Leviathan (NOT Godzilla) as this big epic battle. That was Cordovon. The Leviathan was the consequence of the epic battle, the heroes cleaning up their and Cordovon’s mess, Ruby using those Silver Eyes they’ve been talking about the whole Volume and to give Cordovon some redemption to show she isn’t a bad person. This was all telegraphed a mile away. You’d have to be pretty blind or completely ignorant to story structure and pay off to not see that coming.

And no, the Grimm aren’t scary because they’re big. They’re scary because they’re a deconstruction of the Mook trope, the trope of an endless series of low level baddies for the heroes to kill. Thing is, if there’s an infinite number of Grimm then any victory over the Grimm is meaningless. The leviathan is scary for the damage it can cause but what’s even scary is that killing it only temporarily solve the issue. Another Leviathan will show up eventually and if they survive THEN another one will show up. That isn’t even the full extent of the terror of the Grimm but I’ll just move on because I don’t want to write an essay WITHIN an essay.

Then we get his condescending ‘oh the show can’t be sad yet!’ because A. not like half of Volume 6 was already depressing as fuck but also half of Volume 5, all of Volume 4 and half of Volume 3. By my calculations, 45% of the show has been depressing as fuck. But also B. it’s not like Darkness Induced Audience Apathy, where a show becomes so depressing people stop caring, is a thing. *cough* Evangelion *cough*

‘The Grimm were already pretty damn useless without a move that wipes sthem out with the blink of an eye’-

*edits out where The leviathan was about to break free and kill Ruby.*

Can anyone say ‘intellectual dishonesty’?

Also, apparently you bitch about the show showing Ruby using her Silver Eyes AS THE SHOW ESTABLISHED SHE COULD EARLIER (in those Maria scenes you praised again). So all that tells me is that you’re selective in what you bitch about. Also not like that ability does fuck all to humans, the main threat of the serie-Oh wait...

‘Their issues at Brunswick farm are never brought up again’

*edits out the scene where everyone realizes they were wrong.*

‘Blake and Yang never question if killing Adam was the right thing-’

It was.

‘Ruby being a useless main character-’ 

Aside from her decision in Volume 3′s finale causing all of Volume 4+ to happen, getting JNR to Mistral, saving Jaune’s life, anchoring one of the Nucklevee’s arms-sure...so your points only correct if we ignore most of her scenes Real great argument.

Also she gave two speeches in Volume 6, maybe three. Less than what she gave in Volume 1. Where she had less experience and less weight behind her words. Where her dialogue was MORE awkward. After she’s already been shown to do this. Where that’s been established as a key part of her character. So yeah, just another failure for the pile.

Then he bitches about Jaune not leading the plan and...he’s never lead a plan in his life. that’s Ruby’s job. She’s always done that. Jaune is the guy who analyzes the opponent and gives a way to defeat the opponent. He’s the TACTICIAN. Ruby is the STRATIGIST. So apparently Cole is either incapable of telling the difference or his vocab is so small he doesn’t know what tactician means.

It also doesn’t help his point that he gives the role of Tactician to Oscar because he defined one weakness about the mech and not Jaune who pointed out how to deal with it. So...he’s the one stealing Jaune’s characteristics, not the show. Great.

I don't think he means a damn thing when talking about Jaune, especially since he’s never cared before. This is just him looking for bullshit.

Also: remember how Cole knew absolutely nothing about Weiss’ abuse and how it would affect her? Yeah that comes back. Now he doesn’t know how PTSD works because he thinks fear is the only response a victim of PTSD can exhibit. While that is ONE way PTSD works, another way is to trigger the fight or flight response in a person. FIGHT or flight. As in, either run away or attack the source of your fear. Which is what Yang does to Adam. The source of her fear. … This is listed on the fucking Wikipedia page for PTSD, let alone what people in the fandom have said. But hey, research is for people with integrity, Cole needs to make a point, damned be the consequences.

Also apparently Yang not losing any fights since Volume 3 is a bad thing...because ignoring her development in Volume 4 with her dad is apparently good writing. Also apparent Yang needs to lose a fight due to PTSD to count because being out of commission for a whole Volume doesn’t count as an event. Her change in fighting style and way of thinking doesn’t count. CLEAR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT doesn’t count. 

Yeah sure, he doesn’t mean any disrespect. And me and Dudeblade can tolerate each other’s presence in the same room.

Also, he tries talking about the animation and how the animators can’t express the same personalities like Monty did (ignoring things like Cinder and Raven’s fights that portray Cinder’s power hungry nature and Raven’s character of being a cocky, brutish asshole) and that all the characters can’t fight without their Semblances, citing Tock (a one off villain) and Adam (who lost more to his own reckless) (Also ignoring how Yang has been on a winning streak as Cole already said WITHOUT using her Semblance except against Adam.)

He then tries talk about the stakes, saying they’re too damn high all the time (almost as though the tone of the show shifted) before citing Volume 3 as a good example of high stakes (the Volume that CAUSED this tone shift.)

Also: apparently one shot of characters standing there shooting at opponent for a quick second is comparable to a build up shot of them shooting weapons and thus there’s no effort in the animation...ignoring how they did that EXACT SAME THING EARLIER with the Cordovon fight but again, Cole’s just doesn't care about what’s true at this point.

Also apparently not having an overarching villain in a Volume makes villains shit...so Volumes 1 and 2 are shit. You know, since there was no overarching villain in those Volumes either. He also tries to say that since we didn't follow Adam’s perspective, he’s shit. Again, never followed Torchwick’s perspective aside from once in Volume 3 nor Cinder except once in Volume 2. And then tries to say the show never told us that Adam was gonna be in the show because there was no Chekvok’s Gun...ignoring Blake’s vision of Adam and his own appearance in Episode 1, Yang;s vision of him in Episode 5 and his FUCKING CHARACTER TRAILER. Yeah, bet that Chekvok’s Gunshot Wound is hurting pretty bad now huh Cole?

‘Why is Adam doing what he is doing?’

...Because he’s a fucking obsessive asshole. That’s his character. He outright said before he’d keep hunting her down. They established this THREE YEARS AGO.

*BANG!*

Ouch, that shot really looked like it hurt. Not that I feel sorry for someone who fires a gun into their own face though...

Also: don’t try saying ‘a good villain is the hero of their story’ while showing a DC poster. You know, the group whose biggest villain (The Joker) is DEFINED BY HAVING NO MOTIVATION OTEHR THAN MALICE. AKA your exception is far more well known than the rule. Doesn’t help that your try to use movie Thantos as your ‘hero of his own story’ when the guy is known as the MAD TITAN. And don't try using comic book Thantos, he just wanted to fuck Death.

This is all ignoring how there are OTHER villians. You mentioned Red Vs. Blue earlier right? So you must be aware of Felix right? The guy who knows what he is doing is wrong but doesn’t care? The guy who goes out of his way to be sadistic? The guy whose motivated by his feelings of inadequacy and ego? Sound familiar?

That’s Adam. that’s Adam with a dash of pity and some better backstory. You ignore a fuckton of character archtypes that have proven themselves on par with the Well Intention Extremist if not SURPASSING it just so you could make a bullshit point about how Adam should have been your headcanon. Never asking if that was where Adam was going as a character or if it would have helped the themes and message of the story. You know, as a critic SHOULD.

Hm, plot device to make main characters grow, that sounds familiar...

Oh yeah, one of if not THE most iconic villians in fiction. Great job there, making the Adam you hate look as good as the best Dragon Ball villain.

And then he talks about Mercury and Emerald, saying the same shit everyone does. Then he bitches about Neo being in the Volume for no reason (*cocks Chekvok’s Gun*)

Also he says the villains just keep losing...ignoring how he directly SHOWS Volume 3 (and how the villains aside from Cinder have been given NO set backs so far) so better add that to the Mount Olympus of failure that is this video.

he then bitches about Yang not adhering to on specific version of PTSD (and if he makes that stupid ‘Strong female protagonist’ bullshit again, I’m gonna trap him in a room with rabid Bumbleby shippers) and says that Adam should have been treated as a main villain (ignoring how he has NO relevance to anyone else aside from Blake and Yang), and basically have Adam fight with Cordovon and the others alongside Blake and yang (ignoring how many people bitched about they couldn’t handle multiple fights in the previous Volume. Also not like Qrow would just knee Adam in the balls and cut his head off due to the sheer power difference between them) and have Adam destroy the mech (because...reasons. Totally not Cole has a yaoi boner for Adam.)

He tries to say the world of RWBY doesn’t revolve around Team RWBY in a show called RWBY...even though this is centered around a single character (adam) where the changes would do nothing since his reveal conveys the exact same information but with less time.

And then he tries to defend his bullshit by saying he actually does like RWBY, and that his bias is okay because everyone has biases...

*cracks neck*

Cole, there is a very clear difference where someone is trying to remove their biases from their work in order to prioritize the well being of the show and help improve the creator’s abilities and what you do. Someone whose actually trying to help the show wouldn’t base their complaints on their own personal opinion but rather what the creator was trying to accomplish and how well they did that. You did not do that, with how you keep complaining about how the show doesn’t do what you want even though it would either be repeating previous mistakes, making new or just wasting time. Someone whose trying to support the creators try to understand what the creators want to accomplish and give them directions on how to do that. You instead try to force them down the path you want them to go down, even though that is not their goal. Someone who actually accepts the show for what it is and enjoys it for what it is wouldn’t outright lie about the show, edit out information, constantly contradict themselves just to make it look bad, throw tantrums when things don’t go their way, throw in a bunch of bullshit and try to pander to a group for views/ego. You most certainly did all that, as the rest of my post showcases.

You don’t like RWBY, you like your HEADCANON of RWBY and react badly when your script isn’t followed. You’re no different than FMF except he sticks to his standards, unlike you.

In short, the only thing that was terrible here was you, Eruption Fang AKA Cole Palleman. You could have brought up some actual points (like how information is conveyed to the audience or how Adam’s character wasn't clearly communicated) but nope, you just pushed your bullshit.

My, how the mighty have fallen.

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: Season 14 - Auditions 6

First of all, Ra’ed was Ra’obbed! They will NEVER have a brilliant singer/songwriter like him on this show again! M. Bison never looked so FABULOOOOUUUUSSSS!!!

Kidding aside, let’s talk about our final audition, and then we’ll reflect on these auditions in general and discuss what to expect moving ahead...

So here goes!

10: The Sentimentalists. I know these two! They were some of the caretakers of the Baudelaire orphans! Boy did Count Olaf have to jump through hoops to trick THESE folks! But seriously, I find them both very entertaining, especially quirky/creepy bellhop lady...But as the judges pointed out, the tricks were lacking, and we’ve seen pretty much everything they had to offer before...They really did feel like the bargain bin Clairvoyants...I hope they improve, because I like THEM...I just don’t like the act yet...

9: Gonzo. He’s come a long way since his Muppet days...And he never looked so good! (Though I do wonder how things are going with him and Camilla...) I guess he’s dropped the usual daredevil stunts to...play the tambourine! Anyway, this was amusing, but I’ve seen other acts this season that had a little more of that silly charm...Still, that stone face and sexy outfit added a lot!

8: Matthew Richardson. Probably the best Cyr wheel acrobat we’ve seen so far...But it’s not like it was such a high bar in the first place! Don’t get me wrong, a LOT of practice must go into all this...It’s just nothing that’s gonna stick with me...This was impressive, just not super-memorable...Though I’m sure plenty of ladies are already getting their phones ready to vote for the good-looking underwear model in the glittery paint!

7: Olivia Calderon. Howie says this isn’t his cup of tea...even though back in Season 7, he gave the Wildcard to that mariachi kid who ALSO sang “My Way”! Whatever, the judges are inconsistent, what else is new? Regardless, while she didn’t hit every note perfectly, I still really enjoyed her singing and look forward to seeing *insert “Coco” reference here*!

6: Luke Islam. Surprise, surprise, Julie’s Golden Buzzer is another singer...I would have liked a LITTLE more variety, just one more non-singer outside the violin kid (and maybe a girl...Kinda interesting that this year’s GBs are proving to be a bit of a sausage fest, seeing that the majority of them are usually female, preferably of the preadolescent variety...) But despite all that, I’ll let Julie have this one, as this kid is both very likable and very talented! He may need some coaching before he’s ready for Broadway, but he’s on his way...Until then, he’s ready for AGT!

5: Kara with a K. Oh look, it’s the Southern Melissa McCarthy! I guess when in doubt, keep talking and sooner or later a joke or two will hit...Also helps if you pack some fast food in your cleavage! Anyway, while this lady could potentially become annoying, for now I would say she gave me the most chuckles as well as entertainment out of all of the stand-up comedians in this round! And she sure knows how to split...as well as fall down!

4: Duo MainTenanT. NOW these acrobatic acts are gettin’ steamy! I bet couples everywhere are watching this and whipping out their notebooks! Only from France, mon cheri! I see a lot of potential with these two, though whether or not they reach that potential is yet to be seen...

3: Revolution Queens. It’s like Malevo, but female and with more screaming! I think Malevo even used that same song in one of their performances...(So is Marilyn Manson, like, a thing in Argentina?) I still hold to my opinion that nothing beats just letting the drums, shoes and whips make the music, no backing-track involved, which Malevo spoiled us with for their first performance...So with that, they peaked too early...As for these ladies, while I’ve mostly seen this all before from Male-vo (Get it?), it is new seeing women do it...And I don’t think I’ve seen any of the men swing a whip with their mouths! Either way, I’m willing to give them a chance!

2: Chris Klafford. Who knew the Amazing Atheist had such a beautiful voice! This man has effectively dethroned Charlotte Summers as the best overall singer of the auditions. “Imagine” is a difficult song to both display one’s voice and make unique, but he pulled it off! I can now officially root for Lamont Landers to get knocked out by this guy (both figuratively AND literally! I mean look at the guy! He’s almost as big as Terry! I’m sure he’s sweet and gentle most of the time, but I would not want to get on his bad side, much less a nerd like Lamont! I wonder what it would be like if he, Terry, Ra’ed and the guy from Bir Khalsa joined into one group! All I gotta say is beware, right? I mean it would make for one hell of a wrestling troupe and-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEtm_Q2LK9g Okay, okay!)

1: Robert Finley. Looks like the Masqueraders left a man behind...While the previous entry has a more unique and polished voice, this cool cat also has an impressive voice for his age, plus the bonus of having written the song (and it was a pretty damn good song, if I do say so myself!) And as it turns out, this man is no joke: https://www.amazon.com/Goin-Platinum-Robert-Finley/dp/B076188VCZ Not only is he dropping albums, he’s even been working with the guy from the Black Keys, which is yet more automatic cool points! It’s hard to say how far he’ll make it in this competition despite how awesome he is, because the competition is STACKED! But for now, he took the stage, wrapped it up in bacon, and SIZZLED!!!

This last audition was pretty singer-centric, but I overall really liked all of the singers, and there were some pretty solid variety acts as well! Not quite the best audition, but not the weakest either!

And that about wraps it up (in bacon) for this season’s auditions, and I gotta say, it was quite solid! Everyone who made it (and were concentrated on) felt justified in some way or another...Even the stupid acts were all amusing, and even the singers who I wasn’t big on were at least in some way interesting or special...And what’s more, Simon did a pretty good job weeding out the trite! I guess he’s good for something after all...He just needed a little time to get into the swing of it...

And while the Golden Buzzers weren’t QUITE as varied as I would have liked, they do all have some kind of star quality to them, and I can see all of them earning a place in the finals, assuming they don’t cancel each other out...

But as it is, Kodi Lee IS the would-be winner of the season...While I knew he would go far, I didn’t think of him as the potential winner at first...And then something happened: Everyone kept talking about him! It’s just like what happened with artists like Kevin Skinner and Grace VanderWaal; They won by the power of their influence!

That said, after last season, I wouldn’t rule out the chances of an upset...But for that to happen, there would have to be a sizable backlash against Kodi, like with Courtney Hadwin last season...Again, I’m convinced that Shin Lim was NOT supposed to win...He was probably always meant to be the runner-up or something...But because Courtney got such a backlash by the end, he was simply the next one down...But all the better for him, right?

Anyway, we’ll worry about all of that later...For now, we have Judge Cuts to look forward to...I guess stay tuned for a list of predictions...It seems like all of the acts that appeared in the “Best of Auditions” episode are candidates for Golden Buzzers (especially the ones who already have one)! But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

Right now, my best guess for next week is that Brad Paisley will give it to Sophie Pecora, but we’ll wait for the other acts to be announced and see if there is anyone else who would appeal to him...Or he could just pick something unexpected like the dog act or something; I WAS wrong about the other country singer guest judges in the past...

Until then, I’ll keep you all posted on other candidates as the list continues to be updated...

Edit: Okay, the full line-up has been announced! Naturally, there’s no point in predicting any of the acts that were skimmed or skipped over in the auditions making it; Probably the only one who has even a SLIGHT shot is Jecko, but only because we saw a bit more of his act than the others...

Otherwise, I’ve counted eleven acts that HAVE been properly focused on in the auditions, which means that four of them will be eliminated (or more if they actually DO decide to put through some lesser-knowns...)

I guess I’ll start with the singers: There are three legitimate contenders in the category, who are all legitimate contenders for the game in general, each in different ways...We have Sophie Pecora, the soulful songwriter, Chris Klafford, arguably the best overall singer of the season, and Ndlovu Youth Choir, who could potentially go down as the best choir in the history of the show. I’m feeling pretty confident that all three will advance, and for one of them by means of Paisley’s Golden Buzzer...As predictable as it would be for yet another choir to get a GB, I’d say Ndlovu deserves it the most, though I guess I wouldn’t mind either of the other two (that said, Sophie will REALLY have to up her game to justify it over the high bar that the others have set).

Berywam falls under the “If they don’t make it, I’ll be pissed” category, and I’m feeling pretty confident for Lukas & Falco.

And then we have the ones who are in a slightly tougher position...Let’s start with the acrobats: There are three of them in this show, and they all involve shirtless dudes (that’s important!) One of them is sure to make it! That said, Duo Togni is out since we only concentrated on them in the auditions for a second...So that just leaves Matthew Richardson and the Messoudi Brothers. Simon did tell the former that there needs to be more in the next round, which puts some pressure on him. But at the end of the day, I think it all comes down to which of them puts on the best performance...

The Sentimentalists also have pressure placed on them from the criticism they got from both Howie AND Simon...But since they’re competing against one or two other magic acts, and they’re fairly interesting characters, they’ll probably make it regardless...

The same cannot be said for the Emerald Belles who are probably already on Howie’s chopping block...It could go either way for them...

I WOULD consider Kevin Schwartz to be a contender, but I can’t help but compare this season’s comedians to last year’s...This year’s main comedians to consider are him, Ryan Niemiller, Jackie Fabulous and Kara with a K. I guess it’s debatable whether Kara or Jackie is this year’s Vicki Barbolak, and which one’s Carmen Lynch, but Ryan definitely feels like Samuel J. Comroe...and Kevin...feels like Oliver Graves...Maybe they won’t do it COMPLETELY like last season, but I still wonder...

And finally, we have Andy Rowell, who as I said before is at a serious risk of getting pigeonholed...Maybe he’ll find a way out of it, but I’m not holding my breath...

So with all that said, here’s my most educated guess on who will make it next week:

1: Berywam

2: Chris Klafford

3: Lukas & Falco

4: Matthew Richardson/Messoudi Brothers

5: Ndlovu Youth Choir (Golden Buzzer)

6: Sophie Pecora

7: The Sentimentalists

We’ll see how accurate my guess is...next week!

[truthofherdreams]

is this clickbait? (2)

also on ao3 + read the first instalment

BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP ft. Peter Kavinsky

Song Not-Bakery • 5.6M views • 4 days ago

 “Hi everyone and welcome back to my second channel!” she greets the camera the way she usually does. “Today my boyfriend does my makeup and we’re here with Peter who’s, erh. My boyfriend.”

He’s already laughing. “Why do you have to say it so weird?” he teases her, his voice high-pitched from his giggles.

“I don’t know?” she replies in the same tone, looking away from the camera to stare at him. He’s got his bottom lip stuck between his teeth as he looks at her, and she forgets they’re filming, just for a second. And then she snaps out of it, focusing back on the camera. “So, yeah. It’s actually something I jokingly mentioned when Peter and I started filming together, and people have actually been requesting it a lot so…”

Kitty will edit screencaps of comments asking for this very same video in post-prod, she knows, the way she always does when people keep badgering her with the same thing over and over again. That’s how she ended up doing a fridge and pantry tour a few months ago, and a house tour too. People are damn too nosy for their own good.

“So here I am. Making a fool of myself on the Internet.”

She can’t help but laugh at Peter’s comment, just a little. “As opposed to?” she teases, and laughs some more at the way Peter’s nose wrinkles when he makes a face at her. “Anyway, I gave Peter my makeup bag, and he chose a tutorial from RomanticRonny to follow, ‘cause he obviously needs guidelines.”

“Obviously,” he scoffs. A pause. “Yeah, it’s helpful, don’t judge me.”

“Also, if you don’t already know, Veronica is moving to LA very soon and we’re all super excited about it,” Lara Jean adds, with a little wink to the camera. “So, which tutorial did you choose?”

“Well, you’re usually low-key with your makeup, so I picked something a little more bright and colourful for a change. It’s called ‘Faux Freckles and Sunset’,” Peter provides, doing little waves with his fingers to where Kitty will add the thumbnail to the video later.

Lara Jean hides her smirk. “You’re aware eyeshadow is very different on monolids, right?”

Peter pauses, looking back at her, horror on his features. He freezes for a few seconds, before he turns back to the video and pretends to stands up. “And that’s it for today guys, don’t forget to subscribe and…”

“Sit down,” she laughs. “I’ll help you.”

“Well, if you’ll help me…” he grumbles for show, sitting back down. He grabs a brush then, to brandish it in front of the camera. “Anyway, let’s get started!”

Lara Jean presses the play button on the video, already loaded on her laptop in front of them. It opens on Veronica’s final look as she greets her viewers and showcase the makeup tutorial, doing a few close-ups on the faux freckles and the eyeshadow work. It looks simple but beautiful, yet Lara Jean has no doubt Peter will struggle a little bit.

“She’s so pretty,” she can’t help but comment at Veronica’s baby doll face.

“She looks like the chick from Lucifer,” Peter adds.

Her mouth opens a little at the accuracy of his comment. “Oh my god, you’re so right!”

He preens a little, before he focuses back on the eyeshadow palette Veronica showcases on the video. “Hold on, hold on, wait, you don’t do foundation first?”

“No, eyes first.”

“Whoa, okay.” He watches as Veronica applies the first colour to her lids, before he pauses the video. “Okay, let’s try this. We don’t have the same palette but this colour looks close enough so that will do. Close your eyes.”

She’s laughing a little at how serious he is about it, but does as she’s told anyway, closing her eyes and facing him. She didn’t realise how intimate that would be, one of his legs between hers so they can sit close enough to each other, his fingers delicate as he holds her chin. He’s so close she can feel his breath on her mouth, and it only makes her want to kiss him. Which would ruin the shot, but oh well.

He softly applies pigment to her lid, then sits back to look at the result and hum his approval to himself, which makes her smile a little more.

“Don’t do that, it makes your eyes crinkle.”

“Well, excuse me for being happy,” she teases, and laughs harder when he taps her nose with one finger.

But then she sits straighter too, relaxing her features in a neutral expression. She wouldn’t want to make it harder on him, when he’s trying his best to do something decent. He plays and pauses the video a lot, to make sure he follows the instructions as accurately as possible. Eye shadow doesn’t seem to be too much of a disaster, but then he’s swearing a lot when it comes to eyeliner and mascara, giving Kitty a run for her money in blipping it all out.

“Okay, it’s not too bad,” he comments. “Oh she’s doing foundation now, cool.”

“Tell the audience why you chose that tutorial,” she prompts him as she opens her eyes again.

He’s rummaging through the mess of her makeup bag to find her foundation and a brush, before she guides him to the right one and to her beauty blender. “Cause there’s no contouring in this one.”

“Peter is scared of contouring,” she comments for her viewers.

“Am not!” he replies, almost offended. “It’s just a lot. And I like a more natural look on you.” Then, to the camera, “Who needs sharp cheekbones when you’ve got that pretty round face.”

She’s melting, just a little. “Awww, Pete.”

“Like a donut.”

“…And you ruined it.”

Her does The Face at her – when he grins so much his smile is all dimples and his eyes close almost entirely – before he goes back to the foundation. Which is kind of a mess, and she’s trying her best not to burst into laughter when he goes to town on her face with the beauty blender. She isn’t sure how effective it’ll be, cause he’s getting rid of half the product as he goes, but at least he’s having fun.

“I like how none of those brands are Western, by the way,” he comments as he shows her concealer to the camera, two fingers holding the tube with his hand behind it for the autofocus. A real beauty guru through and through.

“Yeah, it’s all Korean,” she grins. She can feel him drawing the triangle of concealer under her eyes, which might actually do a good job of hiding her never-disappearing bags. “When we go there, half the budget is for food, the other half for beauty products.”

He’s back to dabbing with the beauty blender again when he says, “And because people are going to be asking, yeah, we’re planning a trip to Korean next summer.”

She’s smiling now, chin dropping a little to hide her emotions from the camera, to which Peter replies with a large grin of his own, shaking his head a little in a silly way to mimic her and make her smile even more. Which is working, obviously.

(And if they have to cut there because he drops a quick kiss to her lips… Well. Nobody needs to know.)

“Do I need to fill your eyebrows in?” he asks next, and she’s once again stricken by how earnest he sounds.

It took them a few months to get to this video, if only because Peter was quite reluctant to do it – all because of Gen. He’d told Lara Jean that he’d asked Gen to do that kind of video before, once upon a time when they were dating, but she’d outright refused. Stated that he would only mess it up and make her look bad, and it’s not something she wanted for her modelling career. Lara Jean had (silently) called bullshit the moment he’d explained, but she could understand how he was feeling about it.

How he still feels, careful not to mess it up, to do something good so she will be pleased and happy about him. Not for the first time, she’s saddened by how insidious a toxic relationship can be to someone like Peter, too kind and too people-pleasing.

“Only if they look too powdery,” she explains.

He leans in closer, frowning at her eyebrows, before he blows on them softly. It tickles a bit and makes her laugh, to which Peter replies with a smile. “It’s fine. Also, no lipstick, your mouth is fine.”

“Your mouth is fine too.”

He grins. “You’re welcome.” Then he’s grabbing her chin again, his fingers soft against her skin as he turns her head this and that way to check up on his work, before he nods sagely. “Good. Freckles now.”

It goes a little bit faster from there, hand-poking faux freckles on her nose and cheekbones in different eyebrow pencil colours to make them look natural, before he dabs them with a beauty blender. Before she knows it, he’s nodding again and grabbing a round mirror.

“You ready?” he asks, eager and excited.

She loves him so much it hurts.

“Yeah, show me,” she replies, clapping her hands before raising them in front of her mouth.

He flips the mirror over so she can see her reflection, and her mouth opens in surprise.

“Oh my god, Pete,” she whispers as she leans in closer to the mirror.

The blending on her eyelids need a bit of work, and her eyeliner is definitely wonky, but the faux freckles look amazing, and the warm colour palette on her eyes looks amazing. He really did take care of all the details, and so she leans closer to the camera so the audience can look at the results too.

“You like it?” he asks, suddenly shy and nervous.

Her boyfriend. Her beautiful, amazing boyfriend.

“I love it!” she exclaims. “It’s so different, wow! Look at those colours!”

And if many people comment about how he’s blushing and looking at her adoringly, well. It’s nice to brag about how awesome Peter is, once in a while. He deserves it, if anything else.

  Gabe Rivera ✓2 days ago

GUYS TONE IT DOWN THERE ARE KIDS WATCHING!!!!!

View 47 replies v

 RomanticRonny ✓1 day ago

Awwwww you guys! Peter did such a good job! Can’t wait to meet you all next month!

View 51 replies v

 bellyrubs 2 days ago

I know we’re all always commenting on the way LJ looks at him in the vlogs but can we talk about how SOFT Peter is around her? How he was delicately holding her face? The compliments all through the video? How pleased he was that she liked the look? We stan one perfect boyfriend.

View 35 replies v

 CovinskyIsLove 3 days ago

doctor: you only have 16:47 minutes to live

me: *clicks on this video*

View 29 replies v

 HairyPouter 4 days ago

last time I came this early Gen was still in the vlogs

View 8 replies v

[theonyxpath]

Figured that now would be a good time to take a look at how things are going with your favorite gaming company.

No, not them, I mean Onyx Path. Sheesh.

After all, we’re near the end of the year – at least the part before everything gets holiday crazy – and next week we start our They Came From Beneath the Sea! Kickstarter.

So let’s take advantage of the time period and have a little snapshot of where we are. We’ll do more of a “Year That Was” thing in a later blog, I think. (This one is long enough as it is – yeesh!)

2018 was a challenging year, but one where we were able to catch up – finally! – on a lot of projects and start delivering some delayed ones…as well as delivering a bunch of Kickstarter projects earlier than estimated!

If you recall from MMN blogs in the past, I started Onyx Path with a three-part plan for the sorts of projects we would take on, so let me divide my comments based on that.

1- Our Wholly Owned Games:

This category is perhaps our timeliest right now, with both books for Scion 2nd Edition and the Trinity Continuum Core and Aeon all having delivered their KS backer PDFs and in various stages of prepping for their traditional print-runs.

This is very satisfying to be able to say, because as our KS backers know, a large part of the delay in getting these two lines to this point was needing to create a system for them that wouldn’t fall apart at higher power play, and which, frankly, was designed with an eye towards the last couple of decades worth of how games are played.

And while still being a recognizable dice pool system for our fantastic fans of the first editions who kept these games alive all these years!

Just today, our old friend and long-time writer and developer Bruce Baugh posted a long and informative “review” of Storypath on his Facebook page and RPG.net, and I’m taking the liberty of posting some of his thoughts here:

I mean to say, if, on the other hand, you tell players that all active approaches are good – that every one solves some problems well and makes for entertaining drama in trying to solve ones it’s not so great for – the choice moves from “should I risk it?” to “_how_ should I risk it?”, because of course they’re taking the kind of risk and get to decide how. Presuming here that players want to have an adventurous good time, the game’s stepping up to point out the scenic attractions and give them a hand where the footing’s tricky. I love it.

Or take a situation where the character’s pursuing someone, using the Athletics skill. The Forceful character uses Might, running fast, bursting through barriers, maybe throwing things to bring down the pursued, and so on. The Finesse character uses Dexterity, perhaps engaging in impromptu (or prepared!) parkour and acrobatics. The Resilience character uses Stamina, and might look for shortcuts that involve kind of long falls, knowing they’ll be able to take the blow, shake it off, and keep going. Every option is good, every option invites the player and Storyguide to look for opportunities to engage with the setting.

Meanwhile, as those two lines move to printing, we have Scarred Lands, which seems to be living up to its name. After a decent start, we had to go back to square one and reconsider how to publish this classic White Wolf-created D20 game after the death of Stewart Wieck, who was originally my partner in publishing it.

I’m glad to say that we indeed have a plan for how to “reactivate” Scarred Lands and you can look for a Kickstarter for the 5e version of the famous Creature Collection early next year. We’re teaming up with a brand new design studio to bring you a gorgeous and exciting new version of SL‘s classic monster manual as the start of more Scarred Lands greatness.

If you’re looking for a Scarred Lands actual play, Travis Legge runs one on Twitch: They play Mondays from 2-4 PM CST at twitch.tv/plasticageplays and archive episodes on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzVwM7FjhlU&list=PLmiXCaSrrCIjmCJQQ7oLwLNahmDbdn_2J and release it in podcast form via anchor at https://anchor.fm/mythsandmatchmakers

They Came From Beneath the Sea! art by Larry Blamire

And for the fourth of our Onyx-owned projects, the aforementioned They Came From Beneath the Sea! Kickstarter emerges from the waves next week on December 18th. Here’s a link to the teaser trailer, created by film legend Larry Blamire (Thanks, Larry!) and we’ll  be revealing an Actual Play vid later this week across our social media:

Matthew and I will go into some more detail on what led up to this most unusual tabletop RPG next week!

We have some possible new game ideas percolating away right now, but I’m not in too much of a hurry to launch a new one right away, there are still great expansions and ideas to explore for the ones we already have!

#2- Creator-owned partner games:

Headed up by Cavaliers of Mars and Realms of Pugmire (which includes Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, FetchQuest, and the upcoming Pirates of Pugmire).

These are different than a straight-up license, in that the creators are generally deeply involved with the project. Often they do a large percentage of the writing, or bring in teams they run for it. Depending on how we conceptualize the deal, they may have a lot of input on the art or just work on the concepts and let our art and layout folks do the voodoo that they do so well.

Scarred Lands was originally structured far more like this.

So, basically, I look for creative partners that have a very strong vision for the game world, and who I like and want to work with. From there, if the game line exists in the main book and some Stretch Goals, that’s cool. We made the thing and with the magic of the eternal shelf on DTRPG, that’s all it needs to be a success in my thinking.

If the line keeps gathering interest, we’ll try out more projects if the creator is cool with that. That’s the key, we don’t do anything if they aren’t OK with it.

For Cavaliers of Mars, we have just got the books selling into stores, and we’re going to see how things go. If you haven’t heard Rose talk about Cavs on the Onyx Pathcast interview that went live last Friday, it’s a great listen, and she gives advice on how to get started with Cavs as a bonus!

Here is the link to that: https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/e/episode-29-rose-on-mars/

Roll of Good Dogs and Cats art by Shen Fei

Realms of Pugmire is the umbrella brand for Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau projects, and we still have a wide range of projects that came out of both Kickstarters. Here’s Eddy interviewed at PAX Unplugged by Gamerati: https://twitter.com/gamerati/status/1070095836233646081

I currently have two creators talking to me about teaming up for their projects, and again, I’m pretty good with our current slate here, but if the opportunity suggests itself I am open to adding more.

#3- Licensed games:

Which of course start with our WW-owned World of Darkness, Chronicles of Darkness, and Exalted gamelines, but which also include Dystopia Rising: Evolution, and Legendlore.

No doubt about it, this has been a challenging year with our White Wolf licenses. To give you an idea of the complexity, Matthew’s oversight is primarily “just” the WoD projects, and Dixie covers CofD and Exalted. Eddy covers all the rest, with Matt overseeing a bunch of our fiction projects.

The transition to Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition, and getting Mage, Wraith, and Changeling 20th projects to final stages at the same time was a huge effort, but seeing the success of the V5 Chicago By Night Kickstarter has justified it. We felt it to be important for Onyx Path to be able to show what we could do with V5 books, as we had a few pundits insist we could only do “old” Vampire.

Chicago By Night put the stake in that!

We’re moving along really well on Exalted 3rd projects as well, with Dragon-Blooded looking to release its Backer PDF several months before estimate, and Lunars looking good for having its complete text ready for an early 2019 Kickstarter. Meanwhile, there have been monthly PDF releases all year, and smaller EX3 books working their way through the production progress list.

I can’t say enough good things about the entire EX3 creative team, and I’ve just been impressed as hell with co-developers Robert Vance and Eric Minton. They work with their writing teams and with Dixie to maintain their vision for the line while incorporating the creativity of the team.

The Chronicles of Darkness game lines continue to come on line in terms getting their projects finished up in reasonable time frames, and Dixie is still working with the creative teams to emphasize their strengths, and bolster the areas that give them trouble. We’ve had some real movement VtR2, and the Night Horrors books, and then Mage2 is getting back on track as well.

As you can see in the project progress list below, we have some fantastic WW game line projects already rolling into next year, and a bunch of pitches at WW we are waiting to hear back on.

We ran the Dystopia Rising: Evolution Kickstarter this last year, and it was enough to seed several added projects as Stretch Goals to the line. I don’t think we actually reached as many of DR‘s fans as we could have, judging by the comments we’ve received after the KS was done, so it will be interesting to see how sales go once it is in stores.

We picked up this license for a few reasons. First, DR‘s top folk, Michael and Ashley, are extremely smart and creative folks who have innovated a lot in the LARP area, and we like people who can teach us stuff. Second, a new kind of zombie mythos that we, the horror “experts” hadn’t had a chance to play with.

Third: zombies meet Mad Max. Love that woohoo concept. Finally, and really most importantly, it gave us a chance to try the Storypath System in a world that was both grittier and more horrific than baseline Scion or Trinity Continuum. This was really important, and from I’ve heard it works really well for this sort of genre.

For Legendlore, well, apply what I’ve been saying about finding licenses that we can apply our aesthetics to, not visual aesthetics as we’re flexible about those, but design and thematic ones. For now, I’ll leave it at that, as the book has just appeared in the project process queue, and we’ll say a lot more about it next year.

Will we be adding more licenses this year? Well, discussions continue on several properties, so we’ll see. Basically, a license has to be either one that we feel we can create compelling worlds from, even if it is an already existing game, and that works well with our publishing model, or that pays us oodles of cash for very little work (riiiight, and if you find one of those, let me know!).

Trinity Continuum Core art by Pat McEvoy

We’re thrilled to be able to publish so many immersive worlds where players can find deep meaning in their game play. That’s a testament to the amazing writing and visuals that take us to all these places, and to an in-house team that has filled-in, rejuvenated, cajoled, encouraged, and relentlessly supported our out-of-house creative teams.

Mighty Matt and Mirthful Mike, and our trio of Dixie, Matthew, and Eddy, have pushed, prodded, pleaded, and practically puked to get our vast array of projects finished with love and care this whole year, and their efforts are paying off big time as noted above!

In fact, you can listen to the Terrific Trio every Friday on the Onyx Pathcast and often get some clues as to where the projects they are responsible for are headed, and the sorts of challenges they surmount every week.

This Friday, they flash back to the conventions we attended a couple of weeks ago and tell each other about their favorite characters!

Truly, this post has been all about our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

Next up, we’re working on the Kickstarter for They Came From Beneath the Sea! (TCFBtS!), which has some very different additions to the Storypath mechanics we’ll be explaining during the KS.  They take an excellent 50’s action and investigation genre game and turn it to 11!

Check out the teaser above!

Looking to start on Dec 18th at 1pm EST but run it extra long into January!

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there!

https://ift.tt/2w0aaEW

And we’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

Here’s the link to the press release we put out about how Onyx Path is now selling through Indie Press Revolution: http://theonyxpath.com/press-release-onyx-path-limited-editions-now-available-through-indie-press-revolution/

And you can now order Pugmire: the book, the screen, and the dice! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

This week, in celebration of both Monarchies of Mau and Cavaliers of Mars being live for retailers in Studio2, we have new themed merchandise on our RedBubble store: postcards and mugs and all sorts of stuff!

CONVENTIONS

Start getting ready for our appearance at MidWinter this January in Milwaukee! So many demos, playtests, secret playtests, and Onyx Path Q&As you could plotz!

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

C20 Novel (Jackie Cassada) (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Scion Jumpstart (Scion 2nd Edition)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Redlines

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Manuscript Approval:

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Editing:

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Adventures for Curious Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

In Media Res (Trinity Continuum: Core)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

Post-Editing Development:

C20 Players’ Guide (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Indexing:

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – Finals coming in.

Geist 2e

The Realm 

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

Chicago By Night – Contracting next bits.

C20 Player’s Guide – Still sketches and more sketches.

Aeon Aexpansion

They Came From Beneath the Sea! – KS prep.

EX3 Lunars – Sketches coming in, some finals already.

Signs of Sorcery

In Media Res

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Ex3 Dragon Blooded – 2nd proof.

Ex Novel 2 (Aaron Rosenberg) 

Proofing

Scion Hero – Page XXs and then Indexing.

Scion Origin – Page XXs and then Indexing.

CtL2 Jumpstart – At WW for approval.

M20: Gods and Monsters – With Phil.

Pugmire Roll of Good Dogs and Cats

Trinity Core – Waiting for errata from Backer PDF.

Trinity Aeon – Waiting for errata from Backer PDF.

At Press

Wraith 20th – Waiting for new cover proof. Everything else good to go though.

Wraith 20 Screen – Printing.

Scion Dice – At Studio2.

Lost 2e Screen – Printing.

Scion Screen – Printing.

Changeling: The Lost 2e – Soon shipping from printer to shipper. PoD proof ordered.

Fetch Quest – Proof sent back to manufacturer, printing starting.

Exalted 3rd Novel – Prepping for release.

PtC Tormented – PoD proof ordered.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: 

It’s 7th Sea creator John Wick’s birthday today. I’m sure he doesn’t feel a day older than YARRR!

[theultimateegghead-blog]

30 FOLLOWER 5 PART SPECIAL! TOP 50 HARDEST BOSSES I HAVE FOUGHT.                                    Final - bosses 10 - 1

These bosses are the hardest. They are difficult the first time and difficult the tenth time. It takes extreme skill and patience to best these baddies. These are the ten bosses that gave me the most trouble of all bosses I can recall fighting.

NUMBER 10 - Neo Exdeath (Final Fantasy 5)

Neo Exdeath is the final form of the final boss of Final Fantasy V. I feel that I might have said final to much in that last sentence…oh well. Neo Exdeath is divided into five parts; each part is responsible for a specific attack. This boss can use very powerful magic such as meteor to just bombard the main cast. The ultimate corruption of the warlock Exdeath, this form simply wishes to return all of existence back to utter nothingness. He attacks relentlessly, leaving little room for error and will bombard even the most slightly unprepared player. In FFV, the job system is more important than leveling, so make sure you have a good job lineup. His ultimate attack is called Grand Cross, which is announced before he actually uses it. Grand cross can wipe a party out instantly, as it infects them with a bunch of status ailments, and the farther the battle drags on, the more he uses it. After a long and difficult fight, this monster is swallowed by the very void it coveted. Neo would later reappear in the MMO Final Fantasy XIV as a boss.  

Hardest thing about this boss – His ultimate attack. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 9 - Senator Armstrong (Metal Gear Rising Revengence)

Senator Armstrong is the main antagonist and final boss of Metal Gear Rising. The senator of Colorado that played college ball at the university of Texas. Senator Armstrong owns his own PMC (Private Military Company) and uses it as a police force for the city of Denver. A cold man who has big dreams for America but does not care about cutting down innocent lives of his own people to do so. He utilizes social media to his advantage in order to “use war as a business to end war as a business”. When Raiden fights him, he first uses a massive metal gear, but Raiden makes quick work of it, then the senator and Raiden engage in a long fight. Armstrong has these things called Nanomachines which render him near invincible. Most attacks do not even phase him, and his attacks can be devastating. He can cause fire to spew from the ground, he can throw giant metal pillars at Raiden, and he can just deliver simple yet decimating punches.  He is the only boss with 200 health and can regenerate at will. The fight will be very tough, and any mistake will be meet with a nanomachine fueled punch to the face.

Hardest thing about this boss – Trying not to get distracted by the awesome music. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 8 - Sage Kabuto (Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 3)

Ok, so the ultimate ninja storm games are not that hard. Most bosses are flashy but easy. Ultimate ninja storm 3 had perhaps the toughest bosses in the series, such as Zabuza, Madara and Tobi. However, in the secret chapter only available in the special edition do we get to fight Kabuto. Kabuto is tough, most bosses in the game have about 2 – 3 bars of health, Kabuto has nearly 10. Kabuto has a very wide variety of moves, combos and plenty of AOE attacks and other special moves. He has unlimited chakra as well, meaning he can spam his special attacks if he so pleases and can always rush towards and away from you. He is also constantly in his ultimate form, meaning his physical attacks are amplified. The only upside is that you get two characters to play as. The quick time events are not difficult and can give some reprieve from his overbearing nature. I would regard him as the hardest boss in the Naruto game series.

Hardest thing about this boss – His elaborate attacks and boatload of health. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 7 – Vergil (Devil May Cry 3)

Vergil is the last boss and main antagonist of Devil May Cry 3. Vergil is Dante’s brother, and the two are always at odd ends with each other. Vergil sides with demons while Dante sides with humans. Vergil loves swordplay and detest guns, probably due to his brother’s fondness of guns. He is fought early on in DMC 3 where he defeats Dante. However, due to circumstances I wont cover here, he must fight alongside his brother to combat a bigger threat… Only to turn on him and have one final showdown. Vergil is as skilled as Dante; his swordplay makes in a deadly foe. He can use magic to attack at a range and he can quickly close in gaps of space and give Dante very little breathing room. Since he is also a son of Sparda and a half demon, Vergil has a demon form much like Dante. In his demon form, which he can activate multiple times, his attacks are even more powerful and its easier for him to land the deadly blows. Vergil has a lot of health and can even regenerate, albeit slowly, in his demon form. Eventually he is defeated and chooses to stay behind in the demon world. This choice does not work out for him, as seen in the original Devil May Cry. DMC 3 is a prequel by the way.

Hardest thing about this boss – How fast he can be. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 6 - Shao Kahn (Mortal Kombat 9)

I wont lie, this boss is perhaps the most brutally unfair fight on the list. Shao Kahn is the big baddie of the Mortal Kombat series, and in every game he is in, he is a cheap and overpowered boss. Of all the times I fought him, his appearance in Mortal Kombat 9’s story mode was the worst. You fight him as Raiden (not to be confused with Metal Gear’s Raiden). For me, Raiden was not a character I enjoyed playing as, but Shao Kahn made me improve my thunder god skills. Kahn knows every move you will do and will punish you for just about anything. His attacks do a lot of damage and your attacks do next to nothing. He can easily brick wall you (meaning he wont flinch) and knock you out of a combo. What’s worse is that you must beat him twice in order to truly defeat him. I nearly outright quit MK 9 because of this fight. I persevered, and after one grueling hour of rage, I beat him. He is not as bad in arcade mode, but he is still as cheap as dirt.

Hardest thing about this boss – WHY IS EVERY ATTACK SO BRUTAL?! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 5 - The Nameless King (Dark Souls 3)

The nameless king is a secret boss in Dark Souls 3 and is often considered to be the hardest boss in the base game. After overcoming Archdragon Peak and reaching the end, you are met face to face with the supposed firstborn of Gwyn, the main god of the Dark Souls story. The battle starts with the king riding a storm drake. For this part the drake must be defeated first. It often flies high out of range and the king throws lightning and tries to slash at you with his spear. The dragon also breaths fire and tries to crush you with its body. After the dragon is slain, the king takes you on one on one. He is fast, hard to stagger and his moves can easily destroy you. The key is learning when to dodge his attacks. Blocking can get you destroyed so dodging is the best option. He does leave himself open often, but he has a lot of health and is quick to retaliate against aggression. If you die to his second form, you must fight the first form again. Also, he is the only bosses that must be defeated 3 times to get the platinum trophy… Thanks Fromsoft.

Hardest thing about this boss - His second form’s aggressive style and damage output. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 4 - The witch of the Lake (Salt and Sanctuary)

Of all the bosses on this special, from 50 to number one, this is the boss I despise the most. More than Shao Kahn, more than Dr. Robotnik and his beans, more than Carry Armor and its laser. This boss takes the cake for ultimate worst boss on this list. Salt and Sanctuary combines metroidvania exploration and platforming with the combat and learning curve of dark souls. The witch of the lake is a late game boss that punishes all types of players. She is the only boss I would consider blatantly unfair. All of her moves can easily one shot you regardless of level or armor. She attacks aggressively and tends to keep herself airborne so getting her into a combo is next to impossible. Many of her attacks home in on you and stretch out in such a way that dodging them might be downright impossible. Her one melee attack can send you flying and will also allow her to follow up with a magic attack to destroy you. This boss is downright cruel and serves as a roadblock for many players. The only upside is that there is a checkpoint right next to the arena.

Hardest thing about this boss – The relentless magic attacks. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 3 - Sephiroth (Kingdom Hearts 1)

Sephiroth is a recurring superboss in the Kingdom Hearts series, appearing both in kingdom hearts 1 and 2. While both incarnations are hard, KH1 Sephiroth takes home the gold. Sephiroth is the only opponent of the platinum match, and Sora fight him alone. Sephiroth has the highest health of any enemy in the game and also has some of the most damaging attacks in the game as well. He starts simple, slashing his large sword around for moderate damage. He will then start to teleport and summoning powerful fire based AOE attacks. He will use dark magic to attack Sora, chain together EXTREMLY long combos in a berserk rage. However, his two most deadly attacks are his meteor spell, which summoning huge rocks that damage on touch and render him invincible, and his heartless angel attack. The heartless angel reduces Sora’s HP and MP to 1. HE often follows up with teleporting behind Sora to finish him off. He likes to teleport out of Sora’s sight to use heartless angel, so mobility and awareness is key in this duel. Upon beating him, you are rewarded his journal entry, and in final mix you get a new key blade.

Hardest thing about this boss – His heartless angel attack and it’s follow up. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMBER 2 - Darkeater Midir (Dark Souls 3: The Ringed City)

Darkeater Midir was for me, the ultimate challenge of Dark Souls 3. Every Dark Souls game has a DLC dragon. One had Kalmeet, who I destroyed on my first try thanks to my halberd. Two had Sihn, who gave me trouble but not nearly as much as the horrible boss immediately before him. Three has Midir. Midir is the largest ‘proper’ dragon in the series, and boy does he have the health to prove it. Midir has over 15000 hit points and insanely high defense, so in other words buckle up because you are going to be fighting him for a while. Midir is rarely not attacking, he has physical attacks that can hurt, fire breath that can destroy you…and a Godzilla beam that will obliterate all in its wake. As the fight rages on, he starts to even use abyss magic against you. Any error in this fight may very well result in a death. On top of all that, its only weak spot is its head. In order to cut the timer short and beat this boss in less than 10 minutes, you will have to risk fighting it directly. Calling for help may not be the best option, because it makes Midir’s ludicrous health pool even deeper.

Hardest thing about this boss – His extremely high HP and his devastating attacks. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NUMBER 1 - The Orphan of Kos (Bloodborne)

Now, I know I have been using the word “aggressive” a lot in these past few parts. Pardon my redundancy. This boss is not aggressive, no, he is super-ultra-ultimate aggressive! The Orphan of Kos is the ultimate challenge in Bloodborne, a game all about fighting crazy battles, trading blows and going up against men, beast and even aliens in a weird Eldritch world. The orphan is the final boss of the DLC of Bloodborne. Fought on a beautiful beach, its hard getting settled while being bombarded by its screams at all times. This monster never lets up, he is always on the offense. Armed with a rather disgusting weapon, the Orphan speeds around and will make mincemeat of any hunter who dare approaches. If you have not mastered the art of parrying with a firearm in this game, you are doomed. He has high health, hardly flinches and has more attacks than I can possibly list. Any mistake will result in you getting obliterated, and this is only the first form. After taking enough damage, it will grow gross fleshy wings and become even faster! While in this agitated state, it hits harder and can even take to the sky momentarily to divebomb you. If you are half a second off with any shot, you will be punished. This boss also has several damaging AOE attack, however, its lightning one can give a hunter a moment to breath due to its long animation. This is a boss where absolutely no mistake can be made. Due to this, I consider the Orphan of Kos to be the pinnacle of boss difficulty. There may be harder bosses down the line, perhaps when I get around to playing Nioh or the other Ninja Gaiden games, but the Orphan deserves the gold medal.

Hardest thing about this boss – EVERYTHING! HE NEVER STOPS! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, so thats it.We made it. Thank you all, you made this possible. Our next multi-part special will be at 50 followers! So see you then! A final, huge shout out to @savannahsunstone for being my best friend for the last six years and for introducing me to tumblr. Had it not been for them this blog would not have existed. So a raise of the glass to one of the best gamer that I know!