#edit: OH SO WHEN POSTED THE TAG SHOWS TUMBLR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

[pocket-gems]

Sketched @puppetidot 's Coral. I'd love to tag them really, but Tumblr really does not want me to. So I just hope they end up seeing this someday.

I took a lot of design liberty simplifying it since I tend to draw gemsonas on the SU art style and not my own. I'm hoping it's fine, I just think they're neat ^^'

[daz4i]

thank you! and yes ofc, any input is welcome! okay, so i've seen some people talk about how many fics get chuuya and dazais dynamic wrong, but i've not actually seen any specific critiques, so i was wondering if you have any tips to avoid, for lack of better term, to write one of the "bad ones"?

also, i don't have money for the light novels, is it generally frowned upon to write skk without having knowledge of how they are in the light novels? i don't if they're that different, but i've seen comments like "if you just read stormbringer, you'd understand" so just wondering if i'm missing out on A Lot.

and for fic posting, this is not that important, but is there some popular fic boosting tags if i wanted to promote it on tumblr?

oh these are great questions!! lemme try to answer it in an organized way (edit from myself after typing the answer up: i am so sorry for this monster of a post askjdfgh hope it's not too overwhelming 😭🙏)

skk dynamic:

one thing i think is important to keep in mind is that it has layers, and that they're not quite honest in their interactions. a good example for what i mean is like when they're rescuing q and chuuya talks about how he can't stand dazai, but then later when dazai is attacked by lovecraft chuuya is immediately concerned and runs after him to make sure he's okay, being shocked and worried when he sees his arm missing, etc. (dazai is even worse in that regard lmao)

i can speak on my own personal pet peeve with skk fics is where their personalities are flattened, and thus their relationship is as a result as well (for example, reducing chuuya to a tsundere, or making him stupid, while making dazai some dark edgelord etc) this can lead to missing one key thing in their relationship: they're equals

soukoku even just as a fighting duo isn't just "dazai thinks up strategies and chuuya fights", the whole reason they're considered unbeatable to their enemies is because they're both strong - they can both fight, and they're both smart and good at thinking quickly on their feet. it's just that chuuya is better at fighting, and dazai's strategies are more airtight. this way they're enhancing each other's abilities. so, translating that into their general dynamic is also important

another way in which they're equal that i think shows this last part^ even better, and smth that i think ppl tend to miss, is that dazai never really manipulates chuuya or forces him into situations he doesn't want to take part in - he always asks for chuuya's final word on the matter. chuuya follows his plans because he too knows they're likely the best option. this is how they maintain their trust in each other

(honestly the only time i think you can argue dazai tries to manipulate chuuya is in their reunion in the dungeon, but really it's more for shits and giggles on his end, no real malice, and chuuya probably knows that too, i think)

light novels:

first off!! even if you can't afford them, bsd-bibliophile has them right here!!! i really recommend checking it out :)

i don't think you HAVE to read them but like. it's good to know what happens in them at least generally, and it can definitely help the nuance of their dynamic. the sb comment is kind of right bc it helps figuring out one of those layers i mentioned in the beginning

i actually haven't finished strombringer myself hehe but one thing i got from it so far and from reading analysis of it (which can also help if you don't mind getting spoiled!) that i think is important, esp if you're writing about their mafia days, is that chuuya does hate dazai in the early stages of their relationship, but like. because he sees himself in him. and he sees despair he doesn't want to give in to. at least back then, dazai kind of embodies his negative thoughts about himself, even if not literally and just in his mind.

also on a more basic level both of them (tho esp fifteen) offer some shenanigans of them being silly teenagers. also dazai cringe compilation. actually this is an important part of it i think dazai should always be at least a little bit pathetic when chuuya's around (but that might also be just my own personal take :P)

tldr for the light novels thing, i think it really depends on what sort of fic you're planning to write. canonverse, and esp mafia days, i'd say it's fairly important. aus, not so much, but it can help. relationship explorations, probably. silly fluff or pwp, not really. yknow :?

posting:

hmmmmm i don't know any particular tags (except like, basic stuff, fandom / ship / main characters / "fanfiction" / maybe key tropes you're using? tho it's def not a must) but some general tumblr hacks:

posting at the right hours and days helps; around the afternoon or early evening in american timezones, on the weekends, is probably the best time to gain most traffic

use ao3's automatic sharing or post the fic as the link post format, rather than a text post or picture with a link inserted into the text. idk if it still exists, but it used to be that posts with links in the text would be hidden from search results, especially if you're a new blog (i think it was mostly removed but the new blog thing might still be relevant)

don't use swears and esp not "fuck" and its variations in the tags. hides posts from search results (i think "shit" and such is okay?? but i'm not entirely sure so. to be on the safe side, better to avoid) also don't use "nsfw" or any other possibly nsfw tags even if it's needed

speaking of. while it's probably responsible to use community labels. i'm p sure tumblr hides mature posts from search results 😭 i saw artists complaining abt their posts getting flagged and even getting shadowbanned over it iirc so. unfortunately it's probably better to avoid 😔 save the warnings for the fic itself

this might be a bug only i have lol but after making a post with quite a few tags, wait a few seconds before refreshing the tab or moving to another page. i noticed that otherwise it can hide the post from everywhere except your own blog (it might also be only relevant to image posts? but again, to be on the safe side, it won't hurt to do it)

okay i think that's all. i will say that everything i said abt skk might be just my own personal interpretation hehe so don't take my word as gospel!!! i'm sure there are many other fans and writers who view them in an entirely different light, and at the end of the day, it's up to you to choose your own version to write

and with that, i'm also turning this post to my followers, if you want to add anything, or if you have links to good analysis posts that could answer one of these questions, please go ahead! :D

as for you anon, i wish you good luck with writing, and mostly i hope you have fun with it!!! :3 just bc you see some of us complaining abt fics sometimes doesn't mean you should walk into it scared, actually please don't!!! you can do whatever you want really, and i'm sure there will be an audience for your work no matter what you create! <3

[masonscig]

can i ask why people in the fandom seem to really dislike mishka? (censoring her name and such) this is not meant in an offensive way to you or to anyone else, i’m just new here and kind of confused. like did she do something legitimately wrong or are people just irked by the writing of the new book? hope you have a great day <3

OH yeah sorry i can definitely see how that's confusing to new people LMAO

so, it's a bit of both imo – i've been here since 2020, shortly after book 2 dropped, so my perspective is a lot different than newer fans

so, one of the reasons i censor her name, is because tumblr changed the search functions – used to be, when you looked up something, it was only things that were in that exact word order in a tag – so if you spelled t/w/c wrong in some way, it'd only show up results that were misspelled, if that makes sense

but now, it's like if you look up any word, random posts that mention it anywhere in the post will show up too – and i would rather not open myself up to the m*shka bootlickers bc i just do not have time for that LMFAO

i rarely maintag things these days because i just don't want to be perceived by so much of this fandom, but that's just a me thing

also, in terms of what she did "wrong"... on top of problematic stuff in text, there's a few things i can think of off the top of my head:

encouraging white/washed art by reblogging on to her dev blog while knowingly having the official skintone palette locked behind a paywall (patreon)

when called out for the above, they did vet their pieces i guess – by only reblogging black and white pieces, and art of detectives. then they stopped reblogging art completely

posting a white hand for a morgan instagram edit – and taking hours to delete the harassment in the replies, some of which being actually racist comments with slurs pointed at black people

in a q&a video, referred to m as an "attack dog", which was super insensitive, considering the consistent comparison of m to an animal across all platforms (text, tumblr posts, patreon content)

her treatment of f over the years, both in text and outside of it. her asks were a huge reason that the fandom has an infantilized view of f and they don't even consider them to be a love interest (much less one that gets physically intimate). they see them as a child. this bullet point is a massive one that would take too long to explain. i could probably write an essay on how problematic it is to immediately "other" your singular black character by literally making them an otherworldly alien, but i do not have the time

how she writes nb/trans characters. from what my friends have said who code dive, they get the same dialogue and variants that women do. obviously if you don't code dive or play with nb characters you probably wouldn't notice, but there are a good chunk of people in the fandom who play with nb oc's so... this is something that should be better, but it's not

to add to the above, she said she was getting sensitivity readers but... did they do anything? look at book 3 and tell me if they actually did anything (i have a feeling maybe those sensitivity readers were white queer people)

overall, it's very hard to explain and condense the fuckery my mutuals and i have seen both m*shka do over the years, and what her fans have let slide/incidents they've coddled her up during.

sadly, she doesn't take hard stances on things. she just lets things happen and that just. doesn't bode well if your argument for all these mistakes is "ignorance". if she's getting 10k a month on patreon plus sales (not to mention the fact she's a grown ass woman), then... it's the bare minimum to ask for her to be mindful of her audience and to do better.

and also book 3 sucks xoxo

[dual-domination]

Twenty questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @forerussake Thank you very much! <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

43 works public works, 4 anon works (because of harassment), total 47 works

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

388,480 words 

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, only Guardian and DMBJ (Detective L and GYADL count as Weilan Derivatives, so… still Guardian somehow skjsjsk)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Closer to my heart, back to our home - MDZS/Nieyao (139) Stars aligned in a perfect sky - Guardian X DMBJ/Zhaoxie/Pingsang and later Weilanxie (77) Completely Yours - MDZS/Nieyao (69) Shoot my heart - Guardian/Weilan (52) - Terrible, my first Guardian fic, written for a tumblr request, one day I’ll edit that fic bc I love the concept, but it’s not a good work at all >&lt; Maybe you just don't understand the brain of an ancient alien - Guardian X DMBJ/Weilanxie (52) 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I can take a while to do so, but I’ll always reply to comments, even if some get lost and I have to dig on my inbox to find out after months Ç_Ç (I’m sorry, I’m just messed when it comes to long comments and/or the ones that make me cry). I also love when authors reply to my comments on their fics.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Let me think for a moment, because I’m all ‘happy endings’ here. Probably Wrong side of Hell, a Zhaoxie Cop/Mob AU, because even when it’s tagged as happy/hopeful ending, it’s a momentary happiness, but the future prospects are against them

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

With the ending already posted? No idea But in general, I think it’s Maybe he's just an ancient alien who likes cute socks because everything here is just silly, domestic, sweet and warm. Like the panda print socks. Probably this fic will remain as the ending of this series because I’m not very enthusiastic when it comes to writing in Guardian Drama-verse 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah. A LOT. Nowadays it happens once in a while, but when I started posting my first Zhaoxie fic, Stars aligned in a perfect sky , I got so much hate on my askbox and even dms from people that I used to see as friends. Mostly were anon on my askbox, really WTF things, people were truly upset that I was shipping Zhao Yunlan with someone else that was not Shen Wei. When things started changing and this fic showed a hint of what could be (or not) an OT3 fic (so, Shen Wei!), I got even more hate and a lot of bigotry about polyamory! It was an insane moment. If someone wants to know the outcome, this fic has almost 300k (yet only around 100k posted) and IT IS OT3 - also set my career as crossover + OT3 writer kjskjskjsj. My askbox is still open to anon and will always be. You can send hate or love, you choose. Hate will NEVER be responded, though. I delete all hate I receive.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In English, usually no. In my 1st language, I used to, eventually, within long works, with plot. But once I fully stopped writing in my 1st language, I found it hard to write very descriptive sex scenes - also doesn’t help how confused I get having to explain where their legs and hands are and what the hell they’re doing with their tongues. But I managed it twice, one is in a posted work (2Luo) Love is a heart’s choice, and the other is in an upcoming chapter of a WIP (not the current series, yet I wish kjskjsjs)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh man, I’m a crossover writer. I LIVE for my crossovers and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back writing a non-crossover fic. (Also love reading crossovers, hello Fixa!) But craziest one? Guess it was a drabble for Fixa (and I loved that), DMBJ x LOTR, it’s not on ao3, but it’s here on tumblr… somewhere. It’s Wu Xie + a Palantír.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A whole fic? No idea. But concepts, ideas, dialogues, yes. Multiple times. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

It counts the fics I translated myself/wrote bilingual? If not, then no, unless that yes and I don’t know about sjkkjsjs

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Of course! Since the beginning of my life as a ficwriter (I started writing originals long before writing fics). I’m used to working with Vince @victorian-pirate more often, with Arjun @sagittariusdarkarrow when he wants to play specific characters in my fics, but in other fandoms I used to co-write even more than nowadays. With Tazzy, I have a 2Luo series, but we still don’t have a fic we fully wrote together, each part of the series is written by one or the other. I’m always open to talk about co-writing.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Only one ship? Look, I live in fandoms for 3 decades, but not always for shipping (Tolkien, for example), but there are a few ships that will always be appealing to me. I’m going for Weilanxie here, because I didn’t expect this OT3 to be so powerful to me and hold so deep meanings in my life (both fandom and real life).

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

It’s mine and Vince’s beloved fic, Seawater is tears shed in the shores (not posted). I don’t doubt we can finish, I doubt we will, because we’d have to rewrite a lot to have the results we want, and that WIP is HUGE, which makes us lazy… Now, about my MDZS wips, it’s not a doubt, I’m sure I’ll never finish because I have no interest in doing so. I wrote for fun and practice, but that fandom never got my heart the way DMBJ and Guardian did.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, long plots, worldbuilding. And The Shower - any idea I struggle with, I just need to take a shower to have it clear and perfect on my mind, so guess that counts.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sex scenes and fighting scenes - too many movements, too confused touching and hitting and doing this and that, but I still can manage a pretty decent fighting scene when needed. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it’s a language I speak, yep. If I don’t, but can make sure that it’s not only grammatically correct, but also culturally correct, also yep. Otherwise, I’d be committing a crime against what I love the most 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HAHA GOOD QUESTION, I HAVE NO IDEA. I started writing fics when I was around 13 (25 years ago), about any and every media I loved, like movies, books, bands - no computer, me and my friends used to write on paper and everyone in the classroom would greedily read and wait for another chapter/story (I’m introvert, but never shy about my writing). But that I clearly remember because it was the 1st fandom I POSTED for, because we already could access the internet once in a while from other people’s computers at that time, was Saint Seiya. 

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I don’t even know how many fics I’ve written in my life. But maybe Forgotten Songs of Arda, (this fic starts at and with the beginning of The Silmarillion and goes until long post-LOTR. It’s a rewritten story, from the pov of an OC and Mairon/Sauron). It was written around 15 years ago, so I don’t quite remember enough, and despite being in my 1st language, Vince (who doesn’t speak my 1st language) translated that to read (that was one of the things that built our friendship). The few parts still alive are with him, I lost most of my old fics last year, when my previous laptop completely scattered on the floor. In EN, for sure Stars aligned in a perfect sky (main and side-stories)

tagging @tazzy-ace @jaimebluesq @lacommunarde @omaenanimonoda and I don't remember who else I didn't see already tagged in this Ç_Ç

[hilarychuff]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @2btheanswertothequestion. ty for thinking of me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

rn i have 23 but i have number 24 going up soon 😈

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

202,248

3. What fandoms do you write for?

rn i'm in my chrissy cunningham phase (stranger things) but i'm still in my overarching sansa stark phase (asoiaf). i have been known to do a rewatch and dip back into my jemma simmons phase (agents of shield). and i'll always sort of be in my lily evans phase (marauders).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i carry it in mine (asoiaf, jon/sansa canonish soulmate au)

all the best people see you (all the best people know) (stranger things, chrissy/robin s4 au)

i remember (i remember) (asoiaf, jon/sansa canon drabble)

in any world (in any way) (asoiaf, sansa-centric au graphics collection)

the royal records (asoiaf, jon princess diaries au)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

usually!! i really like getting comments and i guess i have assumed that having someone respond incentivizes them so i always want to incentivize comments!! i think it is i polite to say thank you also. and i mean i love to talk about my fic so i'm always like "oh y'all tryna chat????" but usually nobody is trying to chat back ahhahaha. sometimes i hide from comments if i'm feeling guilty about not updating something but i always appreciate comments and they're usually p motivating to me

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm. most of my fics are like alternate media-based au concepts or lil oneshots or stories that are yet to have endings, so hard to say exactly which is angstiest.

i think my angstiest story is a pre-hydra reveal agents of shield one i did as a secret santa for someone where fitz was dead(?!!?!?) and grant ward showed up to bring jemma simmons back to the team and that was yeaaaaars ago but whenever i think of it i'm always like ok wow i hope that is what that person wanted. what bold choices to make in a gift for a stranger!!

other than thaaat i do think of i carry it in mine as a fairly angsty fic but it's intended to have a not so angsty ending so

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

well please trust that any princess diaries or miss congeniality au is going to end up with the main ship getting together, presumably happily for the rest of their lives!! desert hearts (aka all the best people see you all the best people know) is heading towards a happy ending. howl (sansa-centric scream au) i think will have roughly as happy an ending as any horror movie final girl can hope for.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

ummmm not really. i definitely have but the only time it felt like anything other than a one-off was when i essentially started tumblr beef by wandering into the wrong tag. and that was not fun and people were hating on their own blogs for a min BUT it died down and nobody really went out of their way to bother me directly about it after that, so it was not ideal but it was fine. tagging etiquette is tricky!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hmmmmmmmm historically no. but i have outlined smut!! and i'm thinking about actually writing some maybe even soon!! it's interesting bc i've discussed smut with friends and edited for them and used to roleplay and write smut scenes and that all felt fine but i haven't yet wrapped my head around the idea of being like "this is my little smut scene i made up all by myself and now i'm broadcasting it to the masses." feels like i'm opening myself up to psychoanalysis!! but also maybe once i actually write the smut scene i'll be like oh. no biggie. ok post. so we'll see hahahahah

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not crossovers in the traditional sense but crossovers in the sense that i pick up my little blorbos and cast them in other tv shows/movies/etc, yes, constantly.

i mentioned howl above but i love that one, my sansa-centric scream au. i love jon snow mia thermopolis princess diaries hahahahah. i think it's cute and funny. i love using robin and chrissy from stranger things to make miss congeniality gay. the fic i'm posting in a few days for the stranger things rare pair big bang is also about robin and chrissy in a lil reality tv verse, so that one is really fun and silly and sweet too i think.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so! the only time anything like this has happened to me was like a tumblr rp blog misunderstanding a long time ago.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but that would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i started writing mainly through role playing! so that was co-writing just in a different sense, and i miss that. it's also just really fun to talk about ideas and stuff with friends and then not always actually have to write them. i do play around with concepts a lot with @mistysharks and @beholdthemem for chrissy and the stranger things teen crew, and @cellsshapedlikestars and i also help each other brainstorm sansa and jon related asoiaf stuff which i always super appreciate

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

i'm more of a favorite ship per fandom kind of gal than a favorite ship over all, but i'm also a multishipper in that i can kind of get into my main blorbos with anyone. i'm super still in my chrissy phase rn and i love writing her with robin, but also in a lil steve/chrissy/eddie ot3. that said i feel like i mainly read hellcheer!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i hope it doesn't surprise anyone to hear that i DO have designs to finish i carry it in mine!! and howl. and desert hearts. like i have specific enough endings in mind that i am working towards for all of those.

the wip that i wish i could finish but know i never will is my marauders mediator series au based on the meg cabot books where lily can talk to ghosts and james is a ghost. i started writing it like back in 2015!! and then even started rewriting it in 2020. and i still love it. but it would be a big project to take on and one that would take a lot more work to figure out, let alone just write, and i don't really see it happening. that said i will always love it!!!

i also started a resurrection au marauders story where lily etc all start coming back to life when harry is like 24 so seven years after the end of the books, and i always thought the like emotional drama in that was so slay too. but the resurrection show itself never really had good answers for the paranormal plot/how it would play out and so i didn't have anything to crib off of lmao. and i never really invested much thought into figuring it out myself iirc. so i never really knew like plotwise where i wanted it to go so much as i was just like "how would the characters react if this happened" but i did like that thought exercise. maybe i would've written more if it would've felt like that would be satisfying to read for other people without actual like. plot.

16. What are your writing strengths?

ummm i'm really interested in like. character profiles. so i think i tend to gravitate towards that sort of story personally. a character figuring themselves/what they want out.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

low key i just like almost never write physical description stuff into my stories?? like it's all fanfiction so i'm like ok first of all you already know what everybody looks like. it takes a lot more active effort for me to be like. does the reader need to know what the character looks like right now?? does the reader need to have a clear vision of where the characters are?? what the room looks like?? i could probably afford to do that more but i find that i tend to skip it a lot

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

hmmm i really only have one fic where that might apply i think. i'd probs try to do it minimally bc i wouldn't want to do a bad job but if it's just one line i could see myself just, you know, doing google translate if i don't know a speaker i can run it by

19. First fandom you wrote for?

harry potter!! i found my way to marauders era pretty quick.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i have a lot of love and tenderness in my heart for desert hearts and i carry it in mine. so far those are like my heart-squeezey fics imo. but i also love howl!!! a combination of some of my favorite interests and stories. i feel like these are my main three wips too so i gotta just keep tinkering away until a new chapter falls out. hopefully sooner than later for desert hearts and i carry it in mine, which i have in fact been reorganizing a lil lately!!

anyway!!

ty again for the tag @2btheanswertothequestion!! if you want to do this: @cellsshapedlikestars @mistysharks @beholdthemem @chdarling

[pantherxdrawz]

Oh fucc forgot to do an intro

and AFTER the 500 post point-

…I ain’t putting all this in my bio

Anywho, Welcome to my blog!

Well.

[That is of course, unless your a proshipper, MAP, lgbtphobic, bigot, TERF, racist, support the shitshow that is TBATF and/or the creators (that parts just because I’m in the Eddsworld Fandom).]

^Visual representation of me tapping my lil DNI list

YK the common basics. (Tbh who WANTS those guys interacting with them/rh)

If your one of them,

very kindly fuck off

(You WILL be blocked if not)

★・・・・・・★

With that out of the way,

☄️-I’m Panther/Nyx/Shade

I’ve also got many other names take y’all’s pick [pulls out a comedically large tophat with names], I even have names like Cloudberg and Roomba at this point as long as it’s not offensive anything is on the table really-/hj

At this point you could point to me and go “your name is Tom now your Tom” and I’d go: “…okay guess I’m Tom now”

💫-I currently use all the pronouns, He/She/They/Xe/It etc. Whatever just go for it, still figuring that shit out and I don’t really mind

☄️-I‘ma hobby artist, also hobby animator if I feel like it, but I do take Discord Nitro commissions at times (info below if you’re interested, you could also just DM me right off the bat for info, however since I also have school I might not get to it straight way as fair warning)

I also feel like I should’ve charged for completion and not crop and that these are embarrassingly cheap, and full body’s are embarrassingly expensive but hey I don’t have this as my full job what do I know

You can DM me on here, or on my Discord RandomPurplePantherGorl#2046 if you’re interested

Edit: So since the Twitter (or “X” *gags*) forced update with the username changes, my Discord is now pantherxdrawz just like my Tumblr

Disclaimer: I have all rights to deny a commission for any possible reason, even if it’s perfectly fine by all the guidelines I’ve put, I still have full rights to deny it (I probably won’t though, but still) ★・・・・・・★

Current Hyperfixations:

-Ensemble Stars (This one’s the newest and current strongest)

-Project Sekai

-Ace Attorney

-Danganronpa

-Eddsworld (Well, actually not really anymore, Been Hyperfixated on it for a year then eventually just kinda…lost interest and left the fandom. but I’m still gonna put it here, I might return one day)

-

I’m basically Multi-fandom friendly and post whatever tf I want when I want, basically I just see a cool thing and hit reblog

so if you followed me for only one fandom and don’t like multi fandom posting, uhhh sorry pal you’re in the wrong place, feel free to unfollow in that case

I’m just a little guy trying to post their art and reblog stuff

★・・・・・・★ Filtering tags of mine, everything else on this fucking blog is a cluttered garage:

#pantherxdrawz My art/animation tag

#pantherxeditz My edit tag, where you’ll find my au edits of game/show shots

#pantherxwritez My tag for writing/fanfics that I make

#pantherzocs / #panthersocs My tag for if you ever get interested in my Hand made blorbos (my ocs) and want to see everything I’ve posted of them

#for the pocket friends My tag for showing my mutuals stuff simple as that

★・・・・・・★

Enjoy your stay :]

[a-very-fond-farewell]

hi! hope this reply finds you.. eventually. I accidentally deleted your ask when I actually wanted to delete another one (sorry) but I was meaning to reply to a few people in a single post anyway and took provisional screenshots! so this was a lucky coincidence!

thank you for reading Children of the Red Dust! my pride and joy :D but since you know me from word of honor I.. kind of guess why you would be confused by my previous post about my “fandoms of interest”, as u say.

so, originally (I believe it was around either 2017 or 2018, cannot guarantee on that I’m afraid) this was a side-blog spurred from my need to compartmentalize and gush about my experience of re-reading a few of my favorite fics from the hobbit fandom. back then, in fact, I was in a slump and needed to pick myself up. so I decided to revisit fandoms who had brought me joy in the past, one of which was the bagginshield ship. hence a “nostalgia” blog!

coincidentally, one of the authors of a particular fic among those would have later on (in 2020) influenced my decision to try reading mdzs since they were considering writing a fic about it. they were (and still are!) one of my favorite fic authors, so I trusted them completely on that and that’s how I stepped into the world of danmei!

first it was the untamed, then winter begonia and finally word of honor, through which you have come to meet me :) isn’t that magical?

now. in regards of your second question.. thank you for letting me ramble about my new shiny interests! :D

so here’s a handy list:

1. hotd & r//haenicent :

oh, where do I start! that’s a tough one bc I’m mostly vibing in here?? like. don’t get me wrong, I love the show as it is and I do enjoy the lore behind it a great deal. I’m mostly absorbing the content and let it either shock me or impress me depending on what’s on screen. I do see the flaws but I honestly don’t care about them. I’m just vibing, as I said. but I do like to see people posting meta about the reasoning behind each character! and I love reading about the actors’ ideas behind their back stories and motivations!

my ship of choice is mostly based on the fact that I do like me some toxic-ladies-twice-divorced energy in the room and I should add that I haven’t probably been able to watch killing eve yet just so I could prepare my tastebuds with the hotd female leads first. I especially love the modern!au edits I’m seeing floating around and for now that’s enough to keep me from starving until the new season arrives.

2. the devil judge :

honestly, my focus would be gone on all planes of existence wasn’t it for @/amethystina’s fic (I don’t want to bother her with me tagging her on this, but do trust me and go read it bc it’s gonna change your life!) Who Holds The Devil. seriously, my anxiety has been so bad recently but there she glows, the most massive brain in the universe, bringing us frequent updates despite her busy schedule (and, apparently?? she wrote an entire 100k words fic in the strangers from hell fandom on a whim?? so if that’s your vibe you can go feast on that baby and have a fucking party while you’re at it. thank me later)

no but for real. it’s almost camp. almost. the drama, I mean. all it needs is a feathered boa and it checks out. outlandish villains that do be sounding a little too similar to IRL egotistical capitalist pigs, dangerous pretty ladies, rich bitches (Kang YoHan included), mysteries™️, boytoys and sassy teenagers. there are a few complains I have, ngl, but the vibes are immaculate imo. I would also offer, in a similar vein, kdramas like little women (a recent favorite of mine!), beyond evil (a classic at this point) and, on a bigger scale, the glory (which I have yet to watch, contrary to the first two).

3. helluva boss :

this one caught me off guard, ngl. I used to see it trending on tumblr often but thought it was just the most recent western brand of animation that people get hooked on for the witty dialogue and vaguely philosophical themes being explored (as u can see idk anything about these things, I thought it was similar to adventure time or smth, the fool that I was!). what I got instead was great animation and complex three-dimensional characters overall. now I’ve rewatched the entirety of the available episodes perhaps ten times. honestly, my anxiety really needed that.

as with hotd, I’m just vibing.. but I’m very engaged. I felt almost euphoric at the thought that animators and artists could just.. have fun with it? I’m sure there’s an enormous amount of work involved in the production of every single episode, so I’m just leaning back and enjoy the show. bad gays are hella entertaining and I’m here for it. coincidentally, around the same time I started actively watching the series I found out about a new queer short film that is being developed called the lovers! it’s gonna be a long wait but it’s gonna be worth it :D

4. don’t hug me I’m scared :

this was a fun one. when it first came out (idr when tho) I remember being very uncomfortable with the material. it reminded me of Flat Eric, a yellow puppet used in dance music videos of some artist or smth: it used to terrify me as a child and dhmis evoked the same reaction out of me in the beginning. but then I watched some video essay on the matter and I grew more accustomed to the feel of it and became interested in the though process behind it instead. first video I watched on the topic was about an interpretation of the show through an autistic perspective and the other was a.. I believe a 3 or 4 hours video making an overview on the whole lore behind it.

I’m not very interested in “finding out what does this all mean” or anything of the sort. I’m just here for the cosplays xD no but really, people are so inventive! and they make merchandise and dolls and drawings and full on costumes all on their own! that’s creative as fuck! and it’s unsettling and evocative at the same time. I’m baffled by everyone’s talents and I’m merely wishing to be as good as them ahah.

5. dune & the hunger games :

not sure how this happened. I have read the latter series but not the first, I don’t have time for that. but I can digest a movie or two and the visuals are very interesting to me! also I am a bene gesserit simp and I hate them and their ways in equal measure. idk why but that’s how it is. similarly, I want to see how the cast for the prequel of hunger games does! I’ve heard the lovely viola davis is in it and I’m thrilled to see her being unhinged :D

but mostly, I re-evaluated the entire hunger game trilogy by reading meta posts and fics exploring the story from different perspective in the past and this new movie reignited the interest for the time being, so I’m excited to give it a try! dune, on the other hand, is new for me and it’s helping me bond with my dad on our shared love for sci-fi. what’s not to love??

6. succession :

I’m honestly not sure about this one. I plan to look more into it but idk when I will have the time ahah. if nothing it will entertain me with rich people drama which is always obnoxiously fun to tap into when capitalism fucks me over one way or another. we will see!

thank you for letting me talk into the void xD hope you have a great day yourself!

[kvtnisseverdeen]

i saw your post about wanting to bring back the old editing still. I was just talking to a friend about how i missed tumblr and making beautiful creative graphics

hi!

so lately this has been on my mind a lot because I've been going through the archives of editors that would post picspams/graphics/gifsets etc. that I'd be fond of and its soooo sad to see that creativity and talent like that doesn't exist anymore (please note: im not saying that edits these days are bad, they're just different from what i used to see on 2010-2014 tumblr days)

and i know no one asked but here are my top 4 theories as to why we no longer see those types of edits anymore:

a lot of those editors that were the OG creators of picspams/graphics/rainbow giftsets etc. left tumblr! i used to know a lot of those editors and recall them being in their late 20s/30s so perhaps they just grew out of it and have other things to tend to in their personal lives :)

the introduction of other social media apps and incentivites - now that there's instagram and tiktok...social media became more so about posting selfies and videos and getting compliments blah blah you know the whole ordeal BUT ALSO getting paid to create! people who make edits on tiktok literally get paid and same for instagrammers which is great but i found it so amazing that people would put so much effort into creating on tumblr circa 2010-2014 with no incentive other than showing their love for their fandom in a creative way

the. stupid. ass. like. button. UGH! the like button is seriously the downfall of tumblr like the current like to blog ratio is INSANE how is this allowed???? tumblr is not like other social media platforms...pls im begging y'all to reblog. there's nothing quite like a reblog with someone adding hashtags like I LOVE seeing the unhinged stuff ppl tag when they reblog ok that's the beauty of the reblog button

the new tumblr size limit...so yeah i remember being frustrated with the gif size limit but now that there's an increased limit people keep making big gifs and calling it a day WHICH there is nothing wrong with that but that meant people no longer made colorful sets like this or this which i absolutely adored! and genuinely i think those big gifs are more suited for tumblr mobile than tumblr desktop tbh

anyway here is the rant that nobody asked for lol but yeah hoping to see a comeback of picspams, graphics, colorful gifs and OH....follow forevers!! they were so cute :')

[familyagrestefanblog]

@riouarcadia

You've been using this blog for months and yet you haven't liked, reblogged, or followed anything yet? On tumblr, the website that basically requires of you to follow people to even have a dashboard? Cause that's all visible on your blog and that screams burner account.

Sure, if you went months only scrolling through tumblr tags, not interacting with anything in any way besides this one post here for some reason, cool I guess. You do you. But that still makes you look like a burner account and no one has any reason to think otherwise.

Edit:

Oh screw it, let's talk about that Zoe argument cause you're not entirely making sense there either.

Sure, it's development on Marinette's part to not immediately go against the girls she thinks are in love with Adrien. But that's not exactly something Marinette can be credited for alot here. Why should Marinette be praised for not immediately sabotaging/ hurting Zoe or ending the friendship with her when Marinette literally did nothing to actually make sure Zoe is actually in love with Adrien? Marinette straight up just went with her usual assumption on that which wasn't even true whatsoever.

The way you phrased it makes it sound like you think Marinette needs to be praised for not immediately ending the friendship with Zoe for something Zoe didn't even do. As if people doing that in real life is morally correct and justified.

Instead of praising Marinette for having learned to give her blessing to other girls having existing feelings for her boyfriend (when they didn't even trying to pursue him) instead of sabotaging them right away, it would have been way nicer and way more useful if Marinette would develop to finally ASK ANYTHING before "deciding" for everyone involved again what the situation is.

Marinette's blessing isn't even close to being the most important aspect in the scenario she thought to be true. Marinette was written to only really consider her own comfort in Zoe confessing her feelings while Adrien is Marinette's own boyfriend. Cause she didn't even consider if maybe her BOYFRIEND doesn't feel comfortable with another girl in their friend group confessing her genuine love for him which he would obviously have to reject and then deal with that in his dynamic with Zoe from then onwards.

Once again, the situation Marinette thought to be true wasn't even primarily about HER and yet she put her feelings before the ones of the person it was about. She just decided for Adrien that he's cool with that because Marinette wants to feel good about herself for giving her blessing. Sending Zoe to Adrien to confess her love had nothing to do with the blessing of Zoe having feelings. Marinette shouldn't just walk over her boyfriend's emotional well-being and boundaries like that by just making that decision FOR HIM, but as per usual, she does because it makes her feel good about herself in how she's "grown"

Not to mention, it's not AT ALL even for Zoé's best either since Marinette walking over Adrien also means she's very much possibly setting Zoe up for a bad confession experience which Marinette herself send her into. And casual reminder that for 4 and a half seasons Marinette was so afraid of ever confessing her feelings to Adrien BECAUSE of her fear of a bad reaction to her confession. Her negligence in this almost set Zoe up to possibly have to experience what Marinette feared so much that the show decided that she can't be expected to say "I love you" to a person who hasn't already said it to her and hasn't give her the princess treatment as her mind reading therapist boyfriend to finally get her to that point that's even happening AFTER she wanted to send Zoe to say "I love you" to her fucking BOYFRIEND who's still waiting to finally hearing it from MARINETTE.

Marinette being well intentioned doesn't undo the story lines hypocrisy that's obvious when you look into it.

Cause, by all means, Adrien wouldn't have been wrong for being VERY put-off by Zoé confessing he love for him when she's perfectly aware that he's in a relationship, and Marinette had no business expecting to getting to decide what his reaction will be or that Adrien is fine with her sending someone to him who's "I love you" he has to reject while he's still cuddling her (Marinette) into her development to hopefully be able say it back to him soon for the first time.

Adrien would have been confronted with that out of NOWHERE. Imagine the situation the other way around. If Zoe mentions who send her (which is VERY likely since she's confessing to a person IN A RELATIONSHIP), Marinette in Adrien's position would have thought this is Adrien's way to try and get out of the relationship. But sure, Marinette herself can't be expected to be written to think about blatantly obvious implications of her actions. So no development here.

Adrien would have been made the bad guy if he dared to have any realistic reaction that isn't validating Marinette setting him up to be suddenly stuck in a bad situation. Which obviously makes Marinette a bad girlfriend.

And once again the third person daring to be human would be blamed for Marinette being inconsidered. And the person Marinette send into the situation would once again be hurt for something Marinette hyped then up to do because she didn't think it through beyond how she feels about it.

THIS was the development Marinette desperately needed. Not her getting praised for stop sabotaging people or not ending a friendship over something the friend didn't even do.

Cause, yeah, Marinette was indeed written to once again primarily only take her own comfort into consideration which would have easily once again lead to another case of Marinette needing to be prioritized and taken care of by the people she put the consequences on once it had gone bad (here Zoe and Adrien) to AGAIN needing to be reassured before all else that no one has any negative feelings towards her because she wasn't ill-intentioned, but she's just eternally oblivious to the fact that she isn't the most important person in every situation. It's literally the same pattern over and over and OVER again.

Not exactly something she should be praised for that much, now shouldn't she?

Edit 2:

Oh my fucking GOD. Adrien could have reasonably assumed that sending Zoe to confess to him first was Marinette testing his loyalty before she 'can' say "I love you"!

Because of course Zoe would have to mention that Marinette send her, he's in a RELATIONSHIP with her! Oh my god, can you imagine being a whole ass patient therapist to your girlfriend for her to finally say "I love you" back, and then getting that situation thrown in your face by her first with no fucking context??? Zoe couldn't fucking explain that in Marinette’s stead either!!

Alyadrino

The Ship Butterfly Effect Scale

Alya and Nino are happy together. Adrien and Nino would be happy together. It, therefore, stands to reason that Alya, Adrien and Nino would make for a very happy poly couple, just, once again, with the caveat that Marinette doesn't get involved. This ship includes two people whose time Marinette likes to control and one she gets immensely jealous over.

I hate that when I get asked a couple made of people Marinette cares about, I can't confidently say Marinette would be happy for them or even just the bare minimum of "she wouldn't actively sabotage them". Marinette almost ruined Alya's relationship by accident and has purposefully sabotaged Adrien's, so I can't say she wouldn't be ruinous to this one if she got involved. The upside is that, with Nino involved, he at least would point out that Marinette's being very unfair if she got caught in shenanigans.

Actually, that's another thing to add to the "good for them" angle: Nino actually cares about what's right and fair and would stands up for his partners and relationship.

[freyanistics]

Alright this is going to be a very different post, more serious based. This would probably be the second time I have to bring to light to a situation with someone who’s problematic, only difference is it’s in regards to a now ex friend

In regards of @/arwenson who was one of the main re8 writers on here, they were found out to be lying about their age. They are a minor, 15 to be exact.

I found out early today by my friend Max who showed me a screenshot of her admitting it in a discord server. To clarify I was not in the discord server, from my understanding it was 18+.

Now arwen has deactivated apparently, they claim they were going to tell everyone, I’m not sure if they did. I would assume not but I could be wrong.

Now to first address why this an issue with a minor posting nsfw content. It’s not only dangerous but also can get adults in legal trouble.

It’s dangerous because there are so many disgusting people and predators on the internet who likes taking advantage of minors. I speak from experience of this, I was groomed on the internet. I had adults take advantage of my naivety and how sexual I use to be online. And it can lead to minors getting sex trafficked, kidnapped, or killed. Look at how many cases of children getting snatch and not being found again. It’s a very serious thing, especially if you’re posting 18+ content.

On top of the fact when you lie about your age and get in adult spaces you can also put those adults in trouble. The stuff Arwen and a good majority of our mutuals who are adults could have been plastered as sex offenders had their parents saw what was going on. I literally paid Arwen to write explicit sex scenes of my character with Lady D, and I could have gotten in trouble for that.

“Oh but It’s not a big deal.” It is, people have gotten in trouble for that. And I’m very active of not wanting minors to fall into that trap from gross adults, I try not to be too explicit on here to prevent exposing minors to content. Whenever I post nsfw I tag it and now with this new update from tumblr I can switch the audience from general to mature. I don’t want to expose minors to stuff I got exposed to growing up.

It hurts me especially to find out my friend was lying about their age and willingly putting adults in possible trouble. It’s a trust that has been broken, and it really hurts. I’m not really mad, I’m more disappointed in them. I do hope they learn from this and to never ever do something like this again.

I know my other mutuals who were affected by this are just as hurting and to them I say my dms are always open if you need to vent or whatever.

I do want to also add in that a few mutuals are also mad at my other friend who told me about this in the first place. I want to say I understand that y’all are angry at them, you have every right to be. But I also think we should also hear their side of the story. I’m not going to go into grave detail because that’s not my story to tell, it’s his. However he told me that Arwen threaten to deny anything when he originally wanted to say something. And he had no evidence to back him up so she could have easily deny it and make up a wild story to make him out to be the bad guy. While yes, he should have told everyone with no proof it was their word against hers. I think we should all listen to his side of the story before we throw him out as just as guilty. But that’s just me

Anyway that’s all I have to say on the matter. I hope things get better for the people who were involved and that’s it. Be safe everyone

Edit: They still have 20 in their bio on twitter. I was also blocked by them (I never said anything to them)

[tinyhockey]

alright, just a general psa (that may or may not be related to the umich discourse)

now. i have been on tumblr for ten goddamn years. i have been around, i have seen some shit. this is not meant to come down on anyone; this is not aimed at anyone in particular. this is just my take on how we can all strive to do better and have a positive social media experience.

number one: tag your posts. the tags are not just there for decoration and jokes. they're meant to organize not just your blog, but the dashboards of anyone else following you. for example, i really like the bruins! they're one of my favorite teams. if a friend of mine doesn't like the bruins, that's not an insult against me. it just means they would prefer not to see them on their dash. the easiest way to avoid me feeling like i'm annoying my friend, and my friend disliking seeing bruins posts on her dash, is for me to tag posts i reblog with the player's name or the team. i still get to post what i like, and they get to avoid seeing things they don't enjoy.

number two: use the filtering feature. on mobile, it's settings > general settings > filtering. on desktop it's settings > account, then scroll down until you see filtering. there is nothing wrong with not wanting to see something on your dash! however, you cannot control what other people post. what you can do is control what you see. in fact, the filtering even makes it so if a word is even mentioned in a post, it shows up as hidden on your dash. again using the above example, it wouldn't be right for my friend to insist i stop posting the bruins. but if they filter bruins content out, they get to have a more pleasurable experience while allowing me to keep posting what i love.

now. all of that being said, regarding umich specifically. (putting this below the cut so this post doesn't take up half your dash, lol.)

like most things, the umich fandom exists on a spectrum. i personally don't think there's anything wrong with existing in basic fandom - following their public social medias, enjoying posts from the official umich pages, making gifs or edits. and i don't think there's anything wrong with finding these guys cute! where it can start to get weird is when fanfiction gets involved. now, is all fanfiction bad? absolutely not! people should be allowed to fantasize and write about boys they find attractive.

where it does get weird is with the sexualization of these players. you can say "oh but they're all over 18, so it's okay!" on a legal front, yes. but legality is different than appropriateness. saying "owen power is so cute!" is different than saying "i want owen power to [explicit] me with [explicit] until i [explicit] [explicit]." again, there's not necessarily anything wrong with feeling these emotions, but there's really not a need to make them public. tumblr is a fairly private website but there is not an ironclad gate to get in. people can still see your posts, especially if they're left untagged.

and that's one of the main things - this spectrum very much depends on age. like, i'm 23. most of the people i follow on tumblr are around 18-24. but if you're 17, 16, 15, god forbid younger - please take as close a look as you can at what you choose to post and consume. nhl players have a public life - they're constantly in the media, they know basically what to expect. but for these college students: they're just that. students. they're not celebrities, no matter how many followers they have or how popular they are on tumblr. they're just people. put yourself in their shoes and imagine if you had a fandom of people obsessing over where you were, how you spent your time, who you were hanging out with. or even posting really sexual messages, down to full on smut stories involving you. even if you only saw a glimpse of that, wouldn't that feel strange to you?

all of this being said, if someone is of age, in college and finds these hockey dudes nifty: have at it. post what you want! no one should be there to gatekeep what you can and can't post. however, it'd be really nice if you tagged what you do post, just so those who aren't interested don't have to participate. and if you don't want to participate, that's fine too! but there's not really a reason to make fun of, insult, or alienate those that do. filter the tags and posts you want to, and move on.

at the end of the day, we're all trying to get through life on this hellscape rock. you choose what you post, and you choose what you consume. make the safest and best choices you can. that's all anyone can really ask for.

[yamagucji]

some tips for writing blogs, especially those who are just starting out. these are some things that works for me and may or may not work for others.

how to add a read more link on mobile

type :readmore: on a free space, then hit the enter or return button

personally i think they’re very helpful because it lessens the space you take up in your dash, and might encourage more people to rb

+ you can also add this on a spot where it gives a sort of cliffhanger, essentially making people want to ‘read more’

headers, banners, and dividers

though not necessary, it’s good to have a title for your work. make sure it’s bold and doesn’t blend in with your notes (aka pairing, warnings, etc.). this also helps when someone wants to look up one of your works in your search bar

i don’t really make banners or covers for my works. but some good apps that i know of would be picsart and canva. if you’re looking for ideas, i definitely recommend going into canva

wondering how to make those really small, thin dividers? you can make them using picsart! to make a divider hit tools > free crop > brush > size (adjust it to your preference > then draw a line along the edge of your photo > save

using the divider you just saved, go back to picsart and edit it again > draw option > hit rainbow square at the bottom left corner > hit suction/droplet symbol right below the check mark > color in the white spots bc for some reason picsart glitches and makes dividers look white-ish

new blog? just opened an account?

this is gonna sound really frustrating. but... tumblr needs to check if you’re a bot or not. what does this mean? it’s likely that your first few posts won’t show up on the search bar. you may not even get to edit your header/pfp yet ://

this happened to me and there was no visibility on my account at ALL. what helped me get ‘verified’ is that i followed a LOT of accounts, liked a bunch of posts, made some posts here and there. now that lets tumblr know you’re not a bot

visibility

the tumblr tagging system usually only allows the first 5 tags in your post to show up. so, what can do you about this? only use FIVE or less tags in your post. wait about 15 minutes or more until you can add some more tags in your post, and they usually all show up like that

another important thing about using tags is not to generalize! especially if you’re using a popular tag. but also don’t specify it too much where barely anyone looks it up. for example, if you’re writing a gn piece about oikawa, i recommend you use the tags such as: oikawa x reader, haikyuu x reader, oikawa x gn!reader, haikyuu headcanons, etc

a good rule of thumb is to use character x reader tags first, then leave the full name or fandom tag last

FOR NSFW: tumblr doesn’t let any tags with nsfw show up. so, give your nsfw works another tag. maybe #namegetspicy idk, you figure it out

FOR WARNINGS: especially if you’re a dark content creator, i highly encourage you to add tw:xyz tags. if you already have a warning note at the top then that’s great. but even better for readers who prefer to actually block these tags that way they never get to see it

another important thing to note is that people have different timezones. it helps if you rb your work at a different time of the day, in case people missed it! (icymi) i’ve noticed that reblogging helps to make your post show up in the tags

interaction + feedback

first and foremost, you are not obligated to write for your followers, and neither are your followers obligated to interact with you. remember that everyone has their own individual lives, and they have their own things to do— so do you, too.

make friends! become mutuals with other writers, visit their ask box. i know it can be daunting having to initiate these things, but you might just turn out to have fun! you can’t expect people to interact with you if you’re not interacting (back). it’s... kind of a two way thing yk? no need to be afraid to interact with other writers. oh, and rb other writers works!

pspsps join tag games or do ask games. it’s fun and very interactive

it never hurts to ask for feedback. i usually do this in a more subtle way because i don’t really expect a full on analysis on my works. maybe a little, is this okay? or feedback appreciated. sometimes it takes a little bit of coaxing for the silent readers

formatting your posts and blog

i generally put in the title at the top in big, bold letters

then comes the header/divider. helps to make the post more... visually appealing ig?

it’s important to add warnings (if any) and the pairing. the audience is not all female, and it might be a little frustrating for male readers having to find out its an x fem reader piece like halfway through your fic

if you have multiple works posted, it’s really really helpful to have a navigation page!

you can organize the posts you make with tags! for example, if you’re shitposting, you can use a specific tag for that. if you have a nsfw related post (ESPECIALLY when your blog is open to the general audience) please make a tag for it

themes + colors

if you have a color in mind but don’t know which direction to go from there, i recommend looking up color + aesthetic

looking to use the same color? download a name color app that’ll give you a hex code for any color you want to use. then, you can type in that hex code for when you’re choosing a color for your tumblr bio

wondering how to make your header image small like mine? just choose a photo for your header and turn off the stretch image option

want to use a different text color that tumblr doesn’t offer? it’s not as complicated as you think. you’ll have to go on a desktop to do this and do some html (but trust me, it’s not very difficult). look up “HTML noob but trying my best - how to use colored text on desktop”

^^ i don’t have the link for the color text tutorial so you can try looking it up

how to make an aesthetic navi and masterlist

step 1: decide a theme! if you’re stuck, think about a character + color/season/mood or look up “[insert] aesthetic” to find some inspiration. or you can try looking at other blogs too

step 2: find a color scheme! it’s easier if you choose fewer colors. if you want to use the same color for both divider and text, download a color name app in order to get the hex code of that color.

step 3: add categories to your navi! most navigation pages include a link to masterlist, about/byi, and rules. your navi should have a title that indicates that it’s... a navigation page. you can add thin colored dividers with the same color to make it easier for followers to navigate

step 4: you can choose to create a ‘cover’ or a picture for your navigation and masterlist! again, i recommend you use the canva app as a starting point

extra: search up emoticon symbols to spice up your titles!

reminder for you as a writer

you’re not obligated to do any of these things. i’ve noticed that we tend to build pressure on ourselves when it comes to content and interaction. remember, this !! is !! for !! fun !! when you realize that it’s no longer fun, then know that it’s time to take a break. and there’s nothing wrong with a bit of self care.

^^ c/p from this post lol

at the end of the day, follower count and interaction doesn’t define you. again for the love of beings, you’re here on your own accord.

will be adding more if needed/asked.

[perpetual-stories]

How To Fight Writers Block

hello, hello. hope everyone is doing well. as you can all tell, this post will be about how to fight writers block.

it’s really annoying to me when I hear people say “oh you don’t have writers block, you’re just lazy.”

first of all, yes, I am naturally lazy. second of all, how dare you. writing isn’t as easy as many think. granted, all you have to do is write down words on paper, but it’s not always easy to find the right words to express what you are feeling, or what you wish to say.

I have had terrible writer’s block for the last few days and it’s horrible! as a business owner or a small writing store, I have to be ready to write and fulfill my clients’ ideas and orders.

it’s not easy. It takes a heavy toll on my imagination, and digs me a deep pit of blockage, drowning in the lack of originality because of the constant writing and repetition or certain phrases and sentences in different projects.

i am making this post in the hopes to remind myself about over coming the dreaded and sometimes skeptically believed writer’s block.

What is writer’s block?

Yeah, I know. We all know what that is, but let me define it.

is the state of being unable to proceed with writing, and/or the inability to start writing something new

some people believe it to be a real problem, others believe it's “all in your head”

What Causes Writer’s Block?

in the 1970s, clinical psychologists Jerome Singer and Michael Barrios decided to find out

they concluded that there are four broad causes of writer's block:

Excessively harsh self-criticism

Fear of comparison to other writers

Lack of external motivation, like attention and praise

Lack of internal motivation, like the desire to tell one's story

How to overcome writer's block: 20 tips

1. Develop a writing routine:

Author and artist Twyla Tharp once wrote: “Creativity is a habit, and the best creativity is a result of good work habits.”

it might seem counterintuitive

if you only write when you “feel creative,” you're bound to get stuck in a tar pit of writer's block

The only way to push through is by disciplining yourself to write on a regular schedule. It might be every day, every other day, or just on weekends — but whatever it is, stick to it!

2. Use "imperfect" words:

A writer can spend hours looking for the perfect word or phrase to illustrate a concept

You can avoid this fruitless endeavor by putting, “In other words…” and simply writing what you’re thinking, whether it’s eloquent or not

You can then come back and refine it later by doing a CTRL+F search for “in other words.”

3. Do non-writing activities:

one of the best ways to climb out of a writing funk is to take yourself out of your own work and into someone else’s

Go to an exhibition, to the cinema, to a play, a gig, eat a delicious meal

immerse yourself in great STUFF and get your synapses crackling in a different way

Snippets of conversations, sounds, colors, sensations will creep into the space that once felt empty

4. Freewrite through it:

free-writing involves writing for a pre-set amount of time without pause — and without regard for grammar, spelling, or topic. You just write.

The goal of freewriting is to write without second-guessing yourself — free from doubt, apathy, or self-consciousness, all of which contribute to writer's block. Here’s how:

Find the right surroundings. Go somewhere you won't be disturbed.

Pick your writing utensils. Will you type at your computer, or write with pen and paper? (Tip: if you're prone to hitting the backspace button, you should freewrite the old-fashioned way!)

Settle on a time-limit. Your first time around, set your timer for just 10 minutes to get the feel for it. You can gradually increase this interval as you grow more comfortable with freewriting.

5. Relax on your first draft:

Many writers suffer form perfectionism, which is especially debilitating during a first draft

“Blocks often occur because writers put a lot of pressure on themselves to sound ‘right’ the first time. A good way to loosen up and have fun again in a draft is to give yourself permission to write imperfectly.” — editor Lauren Hughes

perfect is the enemy of good,” so don't agonize about getting it exactly right! You can always go back and edit, maybe even get a second pair of eyes on the manuscript

6. Don’t start at the beginning:

the most intimidating part of writing is the start, when you have a whole empty book to fill with coherent words

instead of starting with the chronological beginning of whatever it is you’re trying to write, dive into middle, or wherever you feel confident

7. Take a shower:

Have you ever noticed that the best ideas tend to arrive while in the shower, or while doing other “mindless” tasks?

research shows that when you’re doing something monotonous (such as showering, walking, or cleaning), your brain goes on autopilot, leaving your unconscious free to wander without logic-driven restrictions

showering is my favourite thing to do if I may add

8. Balance your inner critic:

successful writers have in common is the ability to hear their inner critic, respectfully acknowledge its points, and move forward

You don't need to completely ignore that critical voice, nor should you cower before it

you must establish a respectful, balanced relationship, so you can address what's necessary and skip over what's insecure and irrelevant

9. Switch up your tool:

a change of scenery can really help with writer's block. However, that scenery doesn't have to be your physical location — changing up your writing tool can be just as big a help!

if you’ve been typing on your word processor of choice, try switching to pen and paper. Or if you're just sick of Google Docs, consider using specialized novel writing software.

10. Change your POV:

great advice from editor Lauren Hughes: “When blocked, try to see your story from another perspective ‘in the room’ to help yourself move beyond the block. How might a minor character narrate the scene if they were witnessing it? A ‘fly on the wall’ or another inanimate object?

11. Exercise your creative muscles:

Any skill requires practice if you want to improve, and writing is no different! So if you’re feeling stuck, perhaps it’s time for a strengthening scribble-session to bolster your abilities

12. Map out your story:

If your story has stopped chugging along, help it pick up steam by taking a more structured approach — specifically, by writing an outline

13. Write something else:

Though it's important to try and push through writer's block with what you're actually working on, sometimes it's simply impossible

feel free to push your current piece to the side for now and write something new

14. Work on your characters:

It follows that if your characters are not clearly defined, you’re more likely to run into writer’s block

15. Stop writing for readers:

write for yourself, not your potential readers

this will help you reclaim the joy of being creative and get you back in touch with what matters: the story.

this is something I really need to do. because of my etsy business i don't write for fun anymore, but instead as a business and a deadline. i'm going to have to pull out my old crappy wattled fanfics or write some new ones.

16. Try a more visual process:

when words fail you, forget them and get visual. Create mind maps, drawings, Lego structures — ideally related to your story, but whatever unblocks your mind!

17. Look for the root of it:

writer’s block often comes from a problem deeper than simple “lack of inspiration.” So let's dig deep: why are you really blocked? Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I feel pressure to succeed and/or competition with other writers?

Have I lost sight of what my story is about, or interest in where it's going?

Do I lack confidence in my own abilities, even if I've written plenty before?

Have I not written for so long that I feel intimidated by the mere act?

Am I simply feeling tired and run-down?

once you identify what's wrong, it'll be so much easier to fix.

18. Quit the Internet:

If willpower isn’t your strong suit and your biggest challenge is staying focused, try a site blocker like Freedom or an app like Cold Turkey

19. Let the words find you:

meditate, go for a walk, take that shower

Word Palette is a great app that features a keyboard of random words, allowing you to simply click your way to your next masterpiece.

You can also try AI auto-completers like Talk to Transformer, where you can enter a phrase and let the app “guess what comes next.”

even though they often produce nonsense, it's a great way to help that writer's block.

20. Write like Hemingway:

And if your biggest block is your own self-doubt about your prose, Hemingway offers suggestions to improve your writing as you go

it's a pretty cool app if you ask me.

it highlights your sentences (if need be) and makes suggestions on how to improve them!

well, there you have it! a lengthy post on how to fight writer's block. now i just hope i can combat my own soon.

like, comment and reblog if you find this useful! feel free to reblog in instagram and tag me perpetualstories

Follow me on instagram and tumblr for more writing and grammar tips and more!

[paper-n-ashes]

sparks and embers - chapter 1

Characters: Poe Dameron x Original Female Character, Kylo Ren x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Summary: Alexys is a doctor living a life of exclusivity on Raxus, hoping to survive through a peaceful existence, concealing herself from those she believes would use her, or kill her. When fate intervenes and instigates a perilous journey she'd been desperately trying to avoid, Alex finds herself caught in the middle of two sides in both war and love.

Preface: Let me say, I am immensely nervous about this. After months of back and forth inside my mind, I’ve decided to go for it and begin the long process of moving my long running series to Tumblr, along with changing the name (something I’ve wanted to do for a long time). I hit a big emotional road block after over a year of writing and posting, so I’m hoping this move will eventually get me back into the swing. But for now, I’m looking forward to revisiting the beginning of this space love triangle.

If you’ve already read the saga, absolutely NO pressure to read again. Each chapter will be edited a little, but no major plot points will change. To any newcomers who find themselves interested, the story is already posted on AO3 if you are desperate to continue. Otherwise if you prefer reading on Tumblr, or simply like the forced breaks between chapters, I’ll be posting a new chapter every couple of days. I know it’s not written as reader insert, but I just couldn’t make the story work out in any other fashion. I poured a lot of love and heart into Alexys so I hope you’ll give her a chance.

Chapter 1 - Crash Landing

Words: 3.4k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: descriptions of severe injury including blood and bone, medical procedures 

Read on AO3

~

I felt it before I heard it.

A booming crash of metal and glass, sending a shattering vibration through the walls and furniture around me. After the years of mostly silence I’d become accustomed to, the noise that came pummelling into my ears almost made me shriek in surprise. It was short lived, coming and going in a flicker so quick I had to wonder if it was real at all.

Lights began to flash, blinking rapidly in uneven time. The mixture of harsh beeps indicated something was faulting my electricity circuits, plunging me into the darkness of night over and over.

I could only question myself again at the plausibility of this being a dream, but the slow, increasing creak emanating from beyond the walls of this building brought me to a certainty.

Something had crashed outside.

Fear radiated through my limbs, leaving me stuck where I was standing for a few moments, before an uncontrollable urge of selflessness and honestly, curiosity, forced me to move and exit the safety of my clinic.

There wasn’t really a way to prepare for what I saw not metres away from my front entrance. A ship, an X-wing of some variety, was wrecked into itself, varying metals twisted and curled over each other, flames beginning to billow out from the creases. I could feel the heat of them rise as I cautiously stepped forward, taking in the scene with wide eyes. Only seconds had passed when I saw it – the movement of something – no, a person, demanding my attention. The pilot of this battered machine had been thrown just beyond the edge of its hull, broken transparisteel smattering the ground around them.

Hm, the Resistance should probably investigate their flight safety measures.

That thought quickly flittered away when the pilot moved again, this time with a painful moan echoing into the atmosphere. The switch inside quickly flipped, and an all too familiar feeling of conviction flooded through.

This is your cue Alexys.

I raced quickly to the pilot and knelt on the ground before them, fingers carefully removing the black and red helmet with both urgency and restraint as to not cause any more possible damage to their head or neck. The moan I'd heard just moments before let me know this person had some kind of airway, but it was pertinent I assess further. With the helmet gone I noticed the short, lightly waved black hair of a man, his eyes pulled closed, a few bruises and smudges of grey soot smattered over his face. His chest was moving, laboured breathing with the occasional heave on inhale.

At least he’s breathing.

“It’s alright,” I insisted. “I’m here to help you.”

There wasn’t any discernible response from the pilot other than a groan that withered away slowly, and that in itself was worrying. Kneeling over his body, I placed two fingers under the line of his jaw, halfway down, trying to feel for a pulse. I could sense the thump of blood under my fingertips, but it was too slow, too faint, too uneven.

Not great, but it was enough for now.

I began to scan over his body, knowing it was time to assess what was giving him reason to cry out in pain. There were severe burns on his left arm which had caused some of his flight suit to stick to the skin, with more scalds reaching down to his torso and abdomen. His right arm was almost definitely broken with the limb morphed into an irregular angle almost halfway along.

Without being able to look at them directly to ascertain whether I was going to be able to move him, I pressed on his hips gently, silently praying he hadn’t broken his pelvis. He muffled softly, but anyone who had actually shattered the bone would have screamed. As my eyes continued to scan down, it became obvious all too suddenly the shattered edge of his right femur bone poking out of the orange flight suit.

Kriff, this is not ideal.

I wanted to kick myself for not noticing it before, but there was no time, not with the very real possibility of him bleeding out in front of my eyes. My feet moved under me, racing back to the clinic room, knowing where the bandage and splint lay waiting, along with the anaesthetic injections I had stocked in the pharmacy cupboard.

He was certainly going to need them.

Within minutes I was back to the ground with the pilot, clicking together the injector handle and vial, piercing the needle straight into his thigh above the fracture site. I wouldn’t be able to wait for it to dull most of the pain, so internally, I braced myself for the scream I was about to elicit from this poor human's chest. The second I started to wrap the bandage around the splint, a piercing wail echoed through the air, almost causing me to hesitate. Still, my hands continued to haphazardly wrap the white material around his leg, pushing through the guilt it ignited. 

Suddenly, the noise stopped.

My eyes darted to his face as his head slumped over on its side. “Hey!” I shouted into his face as I scrambled back to the top end of his limp body. “Hey can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can hear me!”

There was no response.

I pinched at the muscle on his shoulder, harder and harder to elicit any kind of reaction. Nothing. My hand pulled into a closed fist and grinded against his sternum. “Come on, open those eyes if you can feel this!”

Still nothing.

Again I took check of his breathing, chest still rising and falling, yet shallow and with little power. His heartbeat had begun to race, but through my fingertips I could feel the strain in the muscle. Something was seriously wrong, even more so than his other injuries. Something internally. If I didn’t get him into the clinic, he was going to die.

In a snap decision, I chose to forgo an attempt to run back and locate the hover-stretcher. It would take too much time to set up and power on, time this man didn’t have. I would have to move him myself.

How the hell am I going to do this?

With my arms hooked and locked under his armpits I began to drag the pilots hefty body backwards towards the clinic behind me, thankfully only a few meters away, barely making it past the entryway when a roar of flames overtook the X-wing. I looked up to see the blaze almost completely engulfing the ship, a ferocious heat searing into my eyes and face. With even more urgency I heaved the body into the large clinic room, getting up and slamming the door just in time. Just before a house rattling explosion sent shockwaves into the atmosphere.

Lucky didn’t seem to be an appropriate feeling considering the situation I was in, but at least no one had died. Yet. With my last bit of brute strength, I hoisted the pilots limp body onto the closest hospital bed, noticing then the trail of red liquid I’d brought along with me.

Oh no no no.

With him still lifeless, I tugged at his body and limbs to lie flat on the bed, scurrying to my medical trolley and hauling it back to where the pilot laid, ragged breaths still thankfully escaping into the air. Snatching the heavy shears from the top drawer, I began to tear through the thick fabric of the flight suit, unclipping and removing as much of the life support vest and belt as I could. I had to be careful not to rip away the fabric that melted into the burns scattered all over his body, the number of them increasing as I peeled away the suit, starting from his legs, up to his abdomen and chest over to his upper arms. His torso was in full view now, a smattering of dark hair over his pectorals, underneath which showed the bruises of his crash’s impact.

Oh he’s definitely got some broken ribs.

As my gaze scanned over his skin, I could finally isolate where all that blood had escaped from. A deep penetrating wound just below the last rib on his left flank. As I registered his quick shallow breaths and the uneven rise in his chest, it became obvious.

Collapsed lung.

Whatever had pierced through his chest had poked an extremely damaging hole in his lung, the pleural space now filling with air, leaving no room for his lung to expand. My following movements were swift and calculated, almost automatic. A pointed scalpel was soon in my hand, poised to cut. But I couldn’t help but hesitate. It had been so long since I’d had to do this. And yet, somehow, concern for this stranger’s life was quick to weave it’s way through, dissolving my fear into pure resolve.

I made my incision in between the 4th and 5th ribs, using a clamp to push into the underlying tissue and past the pleural cavity, a gloved hand then entering to check I’d made it through. With an instinctive confidence, I guided the chest tube between the layers of tissue, undoing the ratchet of the clamp to an immediate rush of air. The pilot’s chest heaved in relief, along with my own.

One crisis averted.

But there was more to do. Connecting a drain to the tube, I haphazardly sutured it in place, before flying to the pharmacy cupboard. My stock of bacta was limited, returning with an already prepared vial into the pressurised injector, reminding myself I would need to use it sparingly if this stranger was going to make it through the full extend of his injuries. I had cursed at myself only a few times in the years past at being so far removed from a higher level medical centre that would be overflowing with bacta and medical droids that could help in exactly this kind of situation, but the thought had never burned me so badly. There was no way to know if I could keep this man alive with the resources that yesterday I had been more than comfortable with. I would just have to try.

I injected some of the bacta solution throughout the surrounding area of the wound and covered it with heavy dressing, knowing the bleeding would quickly be curbed. Unfortunately, the wound itself would take a few days to fully close, only ever being able to afford lower quality bacta. Before moving on to the burns, I placed some basic monitoring, lines extending from electrical dots over his chest, wrist and neck to the data monitor above the bed. As the numbers lit up on the holo screen, I felt myself breathe a small sigh of relief, having prepared for a much worse result. His heart rate was better, oxygen levels returning to normal, blood pressure not optimal by any means but high enough to sustain his life, for now.

After securing an oxygen filter over his battered face, I continued to inspect and clean as many of the small and more sizeable burns dotting his body. Even with the many I had uncovered, the one extending from his shoulder past his elbow was the one of most concern. Third degree and extremely unhappy looking. If I wasn’t quick to treat this, it could leak even more fluid from his already compromised circulatory system. I was thankful he still remained unconscious when I began to slowly shed the charred material melted into the skin layer. I couldn’t help but shudder as I remembered the initial scream this man had let out, knowing I would be hearing it now if not for his comatose state.

Covering the immense scald in as much salve as I could spare, I began to wrap it in protective antibacterial bandage, soon moving on to protect his many blisters and deeper burns with dressings. Glancing at the monitor screen, he was still stable, and swallowed hard. Now it was time to attempt possibly the most daunting part of this patient’s treatment.

His femur was still sticking through the tissue of his thigh, slightly dried dark red blood creating lightning strike looking lines extending from the wound.

I need to get some blood into him before moving this.

I quickly got to work on an IV cannula, his poor blood pressure making it significantly more difficult than it should have been. Two bags of O- blood were all I had, and a wave of dread coursed through me with the thought of that not being enough if this all went wrong. My fist squeezed the fast flow pump of the IV line, pushing fresh blood urgently into his system, making his blood pressure rise only slightly. With the last of the red liquid trickling through the line I wheeled over the portable X-Ray. It was so old the mechanical arm screeched at me as I positioned it into place over the pilot’s leg. The bone had to be at least somewhat in place before getting the bacta to work its magic or this guy might walk with two uneven legs for the rest of his life.

If he actually made it through the rest of his injuries, that is.

Shaking my arms out at my side, I sucked in a few deep breaths to build my stamina. Unfortunately, this stranger was stuck with a small framed female to attempt reducing his severe fracture. With one last inhale, I drew the courage to pull as hard as I could horizontally at the knee joint, digging my fingers into a vice grip around the limb and yanking it towards me. To my relief, the fractured edge of the femur to slipped back into the hole it was peeking out from, settling back under the skin.

Thank all the stars in the galaxy he’s not awake for this.

I quickly pressed the image button on the X-ray to assess the progress I’d made. The faint white lines of bone edges were stark enough on the grey background of the image. The fracture wasn’t reduced even nearly enough. I prepared myself again, with another deep breath I pulled hard. This time my efforts were forced into angling the lower portion of bone to try and lock it back into place. The grinding of bone edges could be felt through my fingers, pushing myself to pull even harder, creating more space between the fracture in the hope of giving a fighting chance of lining up the splintered edges. My muscles were whining, begging for this to be over, tears of exhaustion soon stinging at the edges of my eyes.

With one final twisting motion there was a sudden click.

Finally.

My relief was short lived.

It was slow at first, before racing faster. A stream of dark red blood pooling at the wound the broken bone had made.

Oh maker no.

Within moments the pace of the blood quickened. I shot my hands to the open flesh site, pressing down hard in an attempt to disturb the flow. The liquid quickly covered my gloved hands, already sure I’d sliced into the femoral artery. The pressure of my hands into the area made the blood spurt out onto my arms, my clothes, my face, everywhere. The monitor was screaming, blood pressure falling quickly. Wiping some of the hot coppery fluid away from my left eye, I slid my fingers back into the gash, moving desperately to stop the overflow before the man lying in front of me bled out, knowing it would all be my fault.  

You have to do it Alexys. He will die if you don’t.

The voice nagged at me, pleading to do what it wanted.

He’s with the Resistance! If he survives, if he contacts them, they’ll find me. And they’ll know.

It is time to decide. His life. Or yours.

Seconds ticked by fleetingly, numbers flashing on the monitor trickling down, the speed of blood flow from the pilot’s leg stubbornly keeping it’s intensity.

Everything I’d done to get here, to isolate myself so no one could find me. It would all amount to nothing. My easy, albeit lonely life, would be gone. All because of this stranger.

But I couldn’t let him die. Not like this.

In one flash, I removed my hands from inside the wound, ripping off my gloves and placing two palms at either side of the leg. With closed eyes, I willed the energy out of the depths of its slumber. From the darkened corner of my mind I pulled it back into existence, opening the gate I’d locked it inside for so long, letting it finally burst through and fill up my brain. From there it down through my neck, through my chest and down my arms, right to the end of my fingertips. Its warming glow was almost comforting, friendly. I would have basked in it for a while if not for the life that hung in the balance before me.

Through the pads of my fingerprints I pushed the stream outwards, connecting past the skin of this innocent human being, and felt the overwhelming heat of pain and dimming of energy.

Hurry, he’s dying.

I began to map out the tissue of his leg, frustratingly slowly, starting at the smallest of capillaries, weaving and winding through the flesh, connecting them through the maze of fat and muscle. I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead, my breathing forced and harsh. The vessels grew bigger as I pushed the energy through, skipping past broken points of other smaller injuries. I could fix them later.

Finally, I felt a molten warmth radiating close to where the maze had guided me. Racing to it, I sensed something pushing me back, the pressure of escaping fluid holding my efforts. I’d found the cut, but now I had to somehow knit it back together.

You’re taking too long.

The alarms of the monitor started to echo with a hollow ring inside my ear, fading until I could hear almost nothing. The world around me was blurry, only the image of vessel tissue and all-consuming redness visible in my minds eye. The energy I was expending began to burn me - I wouldn’t be able to keep this up for much longer. I reached out with it, what felt like many hands grasping desperately at the severed edge of the vessel, frantic yet delicate, pulling whatever tissue I could hold back into place.

Several fringes connected, the pressure pushing forcefully against me, making it harder to hold. I couldn’t help but begin to shake at the strain, the sound of my own heart pounding over the slowing heartbeat of the pilot. My grip was already beginning to fade before I started to sew the pieces of artery back together, an ache growing behind my eyes as I pierced an invisible needle through the tissue, over and over, still clawing at the unsewn edges as I made my way around the tube.

I was so close, the tension of the fluid still being driven out of the broken seal almost overcoming me. The unseen thread had almost made its way full circle. I was almost there.

My entire body rattled with exhaustion and pain. One final thread wove itself around the artery, its abrupt closure alleviating the strain on invisible fingers that had been clutching it all together.

You did it.

The energy dissipated quickly in a rolling wave, letting it retreat back into my mind, scampering to the secluded area of my brain, hidden once more. I felt light suddenly, dizzy, the world coming back into focus, screaming alarms growing louder. It was too much, all at once.

A sharp pang of fatigue enveloped every part of my senses and I faltered back, knees giving way, slumping to the floor.

Then, there was only darkness.

~

Next Chapter

Tag list: @tlcwrites @roanniom @foxilayde​ @blackberries45​ @hopeamarsu​ @caillea​ @princessxkenobi​ @direnightshade​ @mariesackler​ @leatherboundbirate​ @blowthatpieceofjunk​ @mylifeisactuallyamess​ @poedameronloverx​ @millenialcatlady​ @jynz-andtonic​ @lightsinthedistancee​ @star-killer-md​ @morby​ @modernpaw​ @cornmousequeen​ @paterson-blue​

Just let me know if you would like to be removed or added, no judgement!

[winterscaptain]

intellectual guesswork.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: another ajf update that requires absolutely no context to enjoy! i love you all so much. send some extra love to your favorite writers this week :)

one quick thing - if you’re on my taglist, please consider dropping a reply or a reblog! i love to see what you all think, and it encourages me to keep going :) it’s also getting a bit long, and i want to make sure my mutuals and people who engage are seeing everything - tumblr sometimes has a hard time with a lot of mentions. 

words: 1.6k warnings: none!

summary: “ignorance of the law excuses no man - from practicing it.” - addison mizner. au!may 2008

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist | what do you want to see next? edited: january 12th, 2021

You all settle into one row. Aaron’s on the end beside you, looking very sharp in a crisp black suit, his favorite Rolex, and a settled kind of confidence you’ve only seen in him a few times. It’s like he’s in his natural habitat. 

Aaron’s record as a federal prosecutor speaks for itself, of course, but you’ve never seen him in action. As often as they can, the bureau’s leadership sends him in as an expert witness. This time, the case happens to be one of yours. The judge hasn’t required a sequestration for Aaron, so you get the treat of sitting together in the courtroom. 

He’s scoffed and mumbled snide remarks under his breath all morning. You’re just itching to see him get up on the stand and give this joker an education. 

Emily leans over, whispering in your ear. “I promise you’ve never seen anything like this before. Hotch is going to rip this clown to shreds.” 

You stifle a laugh and look over at Aaron. He heard her. Leaning toward you, he murmurs, “All my JD does is collect dust. When I use it, I’d like to enjoy it.” 

“Your Honor, the prosecution would like to call our expert witness, Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, to the stand.” 

He takes a breath and rises, buttoning his suit jacket and crossing the courtroom. His presence commands respect and everyone in the courtroom seems to shrink before him. 

The prosecution’s questions go over smoothly, and the defense attorney stands with an unreasonable amount of confidence. 

Emily leans over. “He thinks he can get Hotch with at least one of these questions, and he might. But just watch.” 

You nod, taking everything in. 

“So you’ve stated that it was your profile of the killer that led you and the police to my clients door that night.” 

“Behavioral analysis was a factor in our investigation, yes.” 

Without hesitation, the attorney follows up. “And was behavioral analysis also a factor in the Olympic Park bombings case in Atlanta?” 

“Yes, it was.” Aaron’s eyes and tone never waver, no hint of arrogance or cheek. 

“And was that suspect you identified,” the attorney asks, far too aggressively, “Richard Jewell, ever convicted of the bombings?”

The prosecution objects, and you watch Aaron. Every part of him observes the proceedings with an outwardly detached interest, but his eyes are alive - strategizing and anticipating. It’s like you can see the wheels turning as the lawyers bicker. 

 The judge ends the squabble. “I’ll allow it.”

Aaron, now with permission, answers simply, “No, he was not convicted.”

“Because he was innocent. Your profile led you to the wrong man.” 

Oh, give me a break. It takes everything in you not to scoff and you can feel Emily’s eye roll.

“Jewell was not the perpetrator, but if you look at the real Olympic Park Bomber, Eric Rudolph, you’ll see that our profile was dead-on.” 

Dead-on indeed, Aaron. 

“Well, how about we look at the Baton Rouge Killer? Your unit said that he was white and living in the city. He was Black and from the suburbs.”

Aaron’s eyes narrow and you feel Spencer shift beside you. Emily shakes her head. “Don’t worry,” she whispers. “He always recovers, never in the way you’d expect.” 

“How do you know?”

Emily’s face pulls into a little smile. “I’ve read the transcripts. Hotch is terribly clever.” 

“You said that Dennis Rader, the B.T.K. Killer,” the attorney continues, “was divorced and impotent. He turned out to be married with two kids.” 

JJ huffs, and you hear her whisper to Spencer, “Can we quit with the sermon?” 

His lips turn up. “Just wait.”

Dave leans over and stares them down over Derek. Stop talking. 

All of you look down at your hands like chastised children, but your gaze floats back to Aaron right away. 

The prosecution objects again, this time on the grounds of preaching. The judge forces a question, and the attorney turns back on Aaron.

“Having been wrong on those cases, isn’t it possible that you were wrong about Brian Matloff?” 

“No.” Your chest squeezes. He’s completely firm in his denial. 

How does he do that?

“Fact is,” the attorney continues like Aaron didn’t speak at all, “behavioral analysis is really just intellectual guesswork. You probably couldn’t tell me the color of my socks with any greater accuracy than a carnival psychic.” 

“Objection!” 

Her outburst is unnecessary. Aaron has a plan. His eyes track to you as if to check in. Are you paying attention? 

If you weren’t watching before, you’re certainly watching now. Always. 

“Withdrawn.” 

“Charcoal grey.” His flat assertion makes you gasp and you immediately cover your mouth with your hand to stifle the sound. 

The attorney turns around. “Well, look at that,” he exposes his socks to the court, and they are, in fact, charcoal grey. “He got one right.”

Aaron’s not finished. “You match them to the color of your suit to appear taller. You also wear lifts and you’ve had the soles of your shoes replaced. One might think you’re frugal, but in fact, you’re having financial difficulties.” 

You do your best to school your expression and remove your hand from your mouth. Checking down the row, you see six smirks watching the witness box. 

“You wear a fake Rolex…”

And you’d know. 

“...because you pawned the real one to pay your debts. My guess would be to a bookie.” 

Is he smiling?

“I took this case pro bono.” There’s tension in Mr. Charcoal Grey’s voice. You can hear it behind the false confidence and it pulls a smile from you. “I am one of the most successful criminal attorneys in the state.”

Hotch continues, completely bypassing him. “Your vice is horses.” There’s definitely a little smile on his face now. “Your Blackberry’s been buzzing on the table every twenty minutes, which happens to be the average time between posts from Colonial Downs. You’re getting race results.” Your smile gets wider, and Emily grabs your hand. 

“Just watch.”

“And every time you do, it affects your mood in court, and you’re not having a very good day.” There’s something that looks almost like concern on Aaron’s face, but you know it’s nothing if not facetious. He’s ripping this poor man to shreds without changing a single thing about his presentation.

I love - 

Don’t finish that thought. 

Why not?

Remember how he’s freshly divorced?

I know, but have you seen him?

“That’s because you pick horses the same way you practice law -” 

You lean forward and Emily follows, her thumbnail between her teeth. 

The final blow. 

“- by always taking the long shot.” 

If this was any other setting, you’re sure the entire team would be on their feet, shouting and jeering. But alas, you’re in court, so you settle for a wide smile and a suppressed laugh. Amused brown eyes meet yours from across the room and you shake your head just the tiniest bit. I can’t believe you.

His lips twitch. 

“Well, you spin a very good yarn, Agent, but as usual, you’ve proven nothing.” He’s just trying to recover something, anything left of his dignity. He fails, miserably. 

“If I’m not mistaken,” Aaron says, his eyebrows raised just a little, “the results from the fifth race should be coming through any minute.”

Just then, his Blackberry buzzes on the defense table. “Why don’t you tell us if your luck has changed?”

You raise your hands to your face to cool the rising heat in your cheeks. 

“Your honor, this is - “

The judge takes matters into his own hands. “What do you want me to do? Either show us your Blackberry or cut him loose, counselor.”

Hotch and the defense attorney share a loaded look. It’s a battle of wills. 

Aaron wins. 

“Nothing further.”

+++

When you all leave the courthouse, you practically latch onto Aaron’s arm, completely floored. 

“How did you do that?”

He laughs and Derek jumps up beside him, shaking his shoulders. “Come on, Hotch. That was incredible.” 

“Why have a law degree if you aren’t going to use it?”

+++

He offers you a ride home later that evening and you take him up on it. You’re both still in the car, idling in front of your house. 

“That really was impressive today,” you admit, your eyes on your hands.

You can feel his soft smile rather than see it. “Thanks. I know it didn’t quite go the way we wanted as far as the case itself, but there’s more to come.” 

“It’s never as bad as it looks in the first couple of days.” 

“Exactly.” He sighs. “Thanks again for being there today. It’s…” his lips twist as he thinks, “nice to have the team around.” 

You reach out, squeezing his forearm before immediately letting him go. “Of course. We’ll always be there for you. Plus, there’s nothing better than watching you tear blowhard lawyers to shreds in a court of law.” 

“I’m not sure that’s exactly how it went.” 

“You’re kidding!” You laugh. “That’s just what happened. The man left without half his soul! You absolutely tore it from his body.”

The pair of you quiet, and you move to get out of the car. He stops you with a hand over yours as you unclip your seatbelt. “Really. Thanks for being there today.” 

“I can’t emphasize this enough - it was my pleasure.” 

Enough of a pleasure as it was, his smile in the dark of the car is the best part of your day.  

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @writerxinthedark @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss  @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @garcia-reid-lovechild  @cevanswhre @colbyskoalas @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321

[hellfire-munson]

Looking Up Luke x Reader Pt 1

Pairings: Luke x Reader (Briefly at the end), Julie x BestFriend! Reader

 Warnings: Fluff, Brief mention of sad memories.

Word count: 2211

This is My first post so bare with me. I’ll get better at the edits and stuff as I learn my way around Tumblr. I also took inspiration from Paramore and the reader was strongly based on Hayley Williams in my mind but you can make her in your image. I don't own Paramore or their music. The song I took inspiration from is Looking Up.

     “Jules, you and Flynn are coming tonight, right?” You ask while you and your best friend throw you school books in your locker after your last period. Julie looks over and smiles at you.

     “Of course! The boys were wanting to tag along especially after I told them how you were in a band of your own. They wanted to know why you denied their offer after Luke heard you shred the guitar solo during that one rehearsal.” She says.

      “If he thought I was shredding that guitar, just wait till they see what I really got going on. Right now all they know and all anyone knows and thinks is I play guitar for the band. Also Luke wanted me to join so he could see me everyday.” You smile.

      “Wait, Jackie walked?!” She screamed excitedly.

      “Yeah, after her and I got into this huge argument about the upcoming shows and letting me actually sing vocals for MY songs she walked away, and someone had to take her place. I wrote this new song we are going to play tonight, you’re going to love it.” You smile at her.

      “Y/N this is amazing! Our mom’s would be so proud of us.” She smiles longingly.

     “Maybe we could collaborate one day, I know you’re a bit more popish than what Paramore is but we could make something work!” You smile at her. She jumps up and down loving the idea of the whole thing.

    “Yes! That would be amazing! Let's head home, we have to get ready for tonight. Oh how will we get in? I thought the venue sold out in minutes?” She asks turning to look at you as you two walk through the doors to your car. You pulled 5 vip lanyards out of your bag and handed them to her.

    “I got you covered girl, don’t worry.” You smile unlocking the door. The drive back to your house was filled with you blasting all your bands old songs and singing along. You were lucky enough to live in the same neighborhood as Julie and the boys so you often carpooled to school but the boys had things to do after school before the show so they went their separate ways. Julie was trying to help you choose your clothes for tonight but with you two being so entirely polar opposite it was hard. If anyone was to help you it should have been Luke since you two share almost the same fashion sense with a hint of Reggie mixed in. You eventually settled for an old cut up Sunset Curve shirt you “borrowed” from Luke with a lace bra underneath and you paired that with your highwaisted, ripped black skinny jeans and your studded Doc Martens. What you decided to do with your hair and makeup will come to you once you hit the venue. You gathered your things to pack into the car while Julie made some final accessory details to your look. She handed you your chain to attach to your jeans along with an assortment of rings and bracelets. Everything was looking perfect for your first big performance as the lead singer.

    “Okay, I gotta head to the venue for soundcheck. You, Flynn and the boys should be there around 6, the show starts at 7:00.” You smile, dropping her off at her house. You see the boys sitting in the garage waving at you. You smile and wave back before backing out of Molina's driveway and head towards The Orpheum.

           Soundcheck went perfectly and it left a little time to grab a light snack before you had to get ready. You knew not to go to the street dogs stand after the incident with the boys that ended their lives 25 years ago before they met Julie and you and somehow were brought back by the two of you. Your drummer’s  girlfriend decided to have catering come out with healthy choices which you were enjoying as we speak. Heading back to your dressing room the security guard stopped you saying there was a group of people here to see the band.

    “Oh that’s my friends from school, you can let them on back. Thanks Alan!” You smile popping a strawberry in your mouth.

     “You didn’t tell me you were playing the Orpheum!” You hear Flynn yell causing you to turn around with a piece of cantaloupe hanging out of your mouth.

     “Well you didn’t ask.” You say chewing the part that was in your mouth.

“Okay smartass. Also when did you change your hair color?” She asks pointing to your now orange hair. You smile slyly at her.

      “I did last night, but I wore it up in a hat today so people didn’t see it until now.” You say getting up to hug your friends. The boys are just standing at the door staring at you.

    “I don’t bite, you can come in.” You joke ushering them in.

“You’re playing the Orpheum tonight Y/N how does it feel to make it big?” Alex asks.

     “I’m not sure yet, maybe I’ll know after the show. Which speaking of that when you guys head down to the floor just find Alan and he’ll take you to the spot that’s reserved for you guys.” You smile at them.

    “Your hair is so bright.” Is all Reggie can say making everyone burst out laughing.

    “I can’t wait to see you shred the stage tonight. That day at rehearsal when you and Julie were goofing off… Holy shit, that was sick!” Luke says jumping up and down.

     “It runs in the family to be honest. Our moms were in a band when they were our age and my dad is a world known rockstar so I learned at a young age.” You smile winking at Julie.

     “Well we should start heading down so you can get ready. We are going to dinner after this to celebrate just so you know.” Julie says smiling at you. Once they left you started getting ready to meet up with your band to do your before show ritual handshake.

    “All right guys, this is the Orpheum. The place is packed with execs. This will be our big break. Let’s rock it!” Andrew says putting his hand in the middle as the rest of you follow. The opening band finishes their set signaling your time to go. The band runs out causing the crowd to erupt in screams of your name. You stay back to surprise everyone as they begin playing your new song.

    “Los Angeles! Are you ready!” You scream from backstage as the beat picks up.

Things are looking up, oh finally!

I thought I'd never see the day

When you smile at me.

We always pull through, oh when we try,

I'm always wrong but you're never right.

Oh you're never right!

       You run out causing everyone to scream as you work the stage to the music. Luke, Flynn and the boys look up in awe hearing your voice for the first time. The way you rocked out was breathtaking to Luke.

Honestly, can you believe

We crossed the world while it's asleep?

I'd never trade it in, 'cause I've always wanted this!

And it's not a dream anymore!

No. It's not a dream anymore!

It's worth fighting for.

     You interacted with the audience as you sang the lyrics. You shot a wink over at Luke when you noticed his jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Julie looked over at him and knew right then and there he has fallen in love with you even more than he already was. She smiled at her bandmate. She saw the smile break across his face as he began banging his head to the beat.

Could have given up so easily

I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me

Taken for granted, almost everything that I would have died for

Just yesterday,

Just yesterday

Honestly, can you believe

We crossed the world while it's asleep?

I'd never trade it in, 'cause I've always wanted this!

It's not a dream anymore!

Oh. It's not a dream anymore!

It's worth fighting for.

     You interacted with your bandmates as they played their instruments, dancing around the stage as you had the time of your life. Jumping and head banging with your guitarist.

God knows the world doesn't need another band, (whoa, whoa!)

But what a waste it would've been! (whoa, whoa!)

I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoa, whoa!)

We're just getting started (whoa, whoa!)

Honestly, can you believe

We crossed the world while it's asleep?

I'd never trade it in, 'cause I've always wanted this!

It's not a dream anymore!

Oh. It's not a dream anymore!

It's worth fighting for.

        You stood there smiling, taking a breath letting the crowd think you were done before you jumped off the drum stage singing the final line of the song.

I can't believe we almost hung it up!(whoa whoa)

We're just getting started! (whoa whoa)

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

       You dropped to your knees as you held the final verse as the lights went out sending the crowd into a fit of cheers and screams. You smile to yourself as you hold the microphone in your lap. The lights come back on letting you see the crowd still cheering you on. The surreal feeling you had was causing your heart to sing and you were pretty sure you saw a sign off in the distance of the audience that let you know your mother was proud of you. Composing yourself, you finished the night with 6 more songs.

    “Thank you guys for coming out to support a small band from this sleepless city. We are Paramore! Good night!” You said before running off backstage. You are met with your friends and a very starstruck Luke.

    “Oh my god! That was amazing! I mean we knew you could sing but that was epic! Why haven’t you fronted before?” Flynn asks.

    “Jackie wouldn’t let me. The band was my idea back when I was slowly getting back into music but I was still wanting to stay back and play. I wrote all the songs and let her sing them. When I finally said I was ready for a shot she threw a fit and when the rest of the band sided with me she walked.” You say taking a swig of water.

    “So this is why you refused to join us?” Alex asks.

    “That and your style isn’t my style of music. It’s to pop centric but I told Julie there might be a chance of collaboration in the future.” You smile seeing Reggie get excited about the idea.

    “And then we can do a country album!” He yells causing your bandmates to start laughing at your reactions. During your laughter you didn’t see a man dressed very businessy walk in.

    “Y/N…” Julie says tapping your shoulder pointing to the doorway.

    “Oh, hi!” You say walking over with your band to meet the man.

   “I’m Eric from Capitol records. Are you Y/N?” He asks.

   “Um, y-yeah I am.” You say reaching out to shake his hand. Your friends are eavesdropping behind you while pretending to hold a conversation of their own.

    “I’ve seen many bands here, I’ve scouted some of the biggest names in music but the energy you displayed tonight is something we’ve never seen but have been looking for, for our label. Capitol records would be happy to have you join. Here’s my card. Give me a call and we will set up a meeting with the head of the label and get you signed.” He says handing you his card.

    “Oh my, wow! Thank you. Also if you don’t mind me spreading the word but I know of another you might be interested in. I’ll send you their latest video if you’re up for it.” You smile sneaking a look over at your friend and her bandmates.

    “Of course, we are always looking for new talents.” He says before exiting the room.

    “Was that?! YES!” You scream jumping into Luke’s arms. Everyone starts dancing around cheering.

    “We are being signed to Capitol Records!” You yell into the air as Luke holds you close to him. His eyes never leave your smiling face. He throws caution to the wind when you look back at him and he crashes his lips onto yours making everyone stop and gasp.

    “Well it's about damn time!” Alex shouts as you two pull away.

    “Well damn Patterson, if that’s what I get for getting signed I wonder what I’ll get after I tell you I sent your video to him as well.” You smile.

   “YOU DID WHAT?!” The band screams together.

   “We’re all getting signed.” You smile.

    “I’m going to marry this girl.” Luke says kissing you once more with more passion than the first. Everything was falling perfectly into place and you couldn’t wait to see what the future holds for you all.

I don't know how good this is, it sounded good and looked good when I was writing so I’m throwing caution to the wind and going for it. 

@parkeret​ I promised I’d tag you in my first one, I hope it doesn't suck!

@issaxcharlie thank you for also pushing me to do this as well!

@cookiebuba