#edit i know grape guy has a name but i literally hate him so much i do not care jshdhjs

[florshedworf]

love that toritsuka constantly is punished for being a perv. his reputation is tarnished in the first few episodes he’s in. hate that he’s a reoccurring character. LOVE that the other characters hate that also.

[charlottedabookworm]

Dawntrail Day 6

spoilers up to: lvl98 msq quest chain (including 4th dungeon) about to start an instanced fight

original draft date: 3/7/24

scheduled release for: 30/7/2024

gonna do a big push before my four hour shift today! 100% aiming for both the 97 and 99 dungeon plus the second trial! i'm hoping i might even get to the level 100 dungeon but that'll depend on how far away it is and how close i am to having to leave for work lol

edit: okay yeah that didn’t happen lol didn’t even make it to the 99 dungeon

*

okay but I honestly love the montage of everyone helping to refit the train while the song plays in the background

it’s so much nicer than ‘fade to black and oh look at this remade thing’

*

the ram head on the front of the train

*

“Vanish!”

raha you’re so cool and that little flair with your stave was just *chefs kiss*

*

…how

how am I like this?

once again continuing the trend of stopping literally ten minutes before unlocking a dungeons

*

okay erenville i’m really sorry about your home i will be right with you i just need to drive around the entire zone and collect ten aether currents first

*

so

are we in another reflection? (unlikely based on that aetheryte and the presence of the station)

or does time just move significantly faster inside the dome and it actually has been decades for them (in which case definitely namikka and possibly erenvilles mum are already dead)?

*

yeah during that time you accidently kidnapped the rest of the scions cos you had bad aim with your experimental spell and ended up with thancred spending four years on the first even if he'd only been gone maybe a moon

*

oh no we’re headed to erenvilles village this isn’t gonna end well

*

mystery trailer woman is here and I don’t trust here

*

ali doesn't trust her either great good awesome it isn't just me then

*

oh great she rules with zoraal ja so yeah i trust her even less

“we are at odds, he and i”

yeah right i’ll believe it when i see it

*

30 years

Wow

Okay maybe it was fully Zoraal Ja it makes sense for him to believe him to be dead now

*

oh no

that’s namikka

fuck she’s about to do in front of wuk lamat after she’s already watched her father die and fuck-

fuck i was really hoping she’d already died

*

“My memories of her have been stored in the cloud”

….great

so you just. forget everyone who dies and those memories go to the cloud huh

wonderful

(I hate this place)

*

…erenvilles mum is now a robot

great

this won’t be traumatic for him at all

*

I do notice that none of the people in this- resistance base? They look like a resistance to me

anyway none of them are wearing the soul thing that removes your memories to the cloud

which can only be good

*

ali just continuing to be a massive mood this expansion love that for her

*

and where do they get the souls for the soul cells huh? this isn’t a new system

the souls they stole from tuliyolall wouldn’t be neough

*

look as much as the soul thing wigs me the fuck out and i find the memory wiping abhorrent i’m all for it being a part of their culture i can respect that

that’s fine that’s cool that’s whatever

but at the very least zoraal ja is stealing souls from those outside of the dome to use in this system and that is wrong

if your culture deals in souls then fine until you start stealing souls

even if - and it’s a big if since no one is mentioning it - all the souls in use in alexandria were given voluntarily it doesn’t excuse them taking the souls of the tuliyoli they slaughtered when they invaded and i know that’s zoraal ja but still

*

solution nine time baaaaby!

*

ah so she was the voice to speak to zoraal ja at the entrance to the golden city

Even more reason to not trust her

*

the grapes

*

...please tell me zoraal ja didn't have kids please

that man is not father material at all

*

a topless guy called genolt

wow they don’t even try with that anymore do they lol

*

ah cool so zoraal ja probably abandoned his own son great

wish i was surprised but i’m not

poor kid

*

oh cahciua named him after gulool ja ja thats so sweet

…monsters don’t attack the kid

aight there’s something up with that

*

well those buildings look familiar

hello alexandria

*

not loving the amount of stealth sections in the expansion so far ngl

*

i am loving the amount of campfire scenes in the expansion so far tho

10/10 would do again

*

he says, casually, like this isn't a fucking horror story

*

…yeah I thought so

no matter what Cahciua was saying I didn’t think she was alive

and she isn’t if even one of erenvilles old friends doesn’t know her name - memories gone to the cloud after all

poor erenville

*

yeah

i can believe that

she has to get the souls to keep the endless alive from somewhere after all

*

VRTRA!!!!!!!

and azdaja is with koana!

*

“You swore you wouldn’t harm my people!”

and you believed him? sphene what the fuck? exactly why did you expect the guy who agreed to help you kill everyone outside the barrier (despite it being his home) to stick to your agreement?

*

damn okay i’ve made it to an instance that says it’ll save my progress but I don’t have time :( guess I know what I’m starting with tomorrow

[clintashaotp]

Damaged, Chapter Ten

Chapter note: Sorry it’s taking me so long to update. This is still a little bit of a rough version but I’m getting back into a schedule with this. It’s all in rough draft form I just need to edit it and post it. This is a pretty long chapter so I hope you guys enjoy! TW FOR MENTIONS OF PAST NON-CON AND GANG VIOLENCE

2,079 Words

...

Clint has done everything he can to get his hair in order. He’s brushed it what feels like a million times, he’s tried hairspray, he’s even tried massaging a bit of the hair gel Steve offered him into his roots. For some reason, it just won’t stay put. At six-twenty-four, he gives up, and double checks his outfit in the mirror nervously.

Jeans and his black bomber jacket feel like playing it safe, but both Peggy and Steve, who are perched on Steve’s bunk, assure him that he looks fine.

“Seriously, Clint, don’t stress too much about it. It’s just Natasha, right?” Peggy tries, and Clint nods, though her words do little to comfort his nerves.

“Okay. I’m going to go pick her up,” Clint mutters, running his hands through his spiky hair one last time.

“Good luck,” Steve waves, and Clint just nods, closing the dorm room door behind him.

Clint climbs the stairs two at a time, checking the time on his phone at the top of the stairwell. Should he be a few minutes early? Or do girls like it when you’re late? He takes a deep breath. It’s just Natasha, it’s just Natasha, just his best friend, just Natasha. It’s just hanging out with Natasha. He walks down the hall to her dorm room, and before he can think twice he knocks on the door.

Instead of the familiar face he was expecting, its Wanda who answers, her hair up in a messy bun and a clay mask smeared on her face.

“Oh, hey Clint!” She grins, and opens the door a little wider. “Nat, he’s here!”

“Nice, um…” Clint gestures at her face, and she laughs a little.

“Face mask. It was going to be a girls night, but something more important came up for Nat,” Wanda winks at him and Clint blushes awkwardly.

“Uh, sorry,” he shrugs, and Wanda just laughs.

“I’m kidding. I’ve been betting on you guys since you met,” Wanda grins, and before Clint can ask what she means Natasha shoves past Wanda, whispering something in her ear. “Have fun, you two!” Wanda grins, and pushes Nat the rest of the way out the door, closing it behind her.

Natasha’s hair looks, if possible, redder. Clint doesn’t normally pay attention to clothes, but Natasha’s oversized sweater brings out the orange shades in her hair, and her high waisted jeans highlight exactly the right curves of her legs.

“You look great,” Clint grins, and Natasha laughs, blushing a little.

“Shall we?” She says, and he nods awkwardly.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he feels like he should grab her hand. Should he grab her hand? Before he can make up his mind she brushes past him, leading him down the stairwell and into the cool fall air.

“So, what’s on your mind?” She asks him as they start up the walkway, and they immediately fall into their usual conversation. It’s not that different from walking to class, or working on their presentations together in a coffee shop, or watching a movie together on her laptop. It’s just normal. It’s just conversation, with a different label.

When Natasha mentions Tony Stark Clint almost chokes. “You mean the Iron Man?”

“What are you talking about?” She laughs, and Clint grapes at her.

“Steve’s friends with him. Wait, so you mean—the literal prodigy of the engineering wing? Seriously, that was whose party we went to? They call him iron man because he literally has a way with metal. He can build anything, it’s amazing.”

“Sounds like someone’s totally fangirling,” Natasha teases, and Clint shoves her playfully.

“He’s just cool. That’s all,”

“Hmm, yeah, I bet so. Should I be jealous?” She says it in an offhand manner but Clint wants to kiss her right then. Of course he’s not going to, she probably only agreed to go on the date because she felt bad for him. She probably only thinks of him as a friend, right?

“Hey, look, here we are,” Clint breathes a sigh of relief as the yellow lights of Ernenzo’s come into view, promptly cutting off an awkward conversation. Natasha just smiles, and Clint is grateful she doesn’t push it. He’s not ready to be rejected just yet.

They get settled in a both in the corner, and Clint finds himself feeling a little more nervous. What if he gets food on his face? What if his card is declined when he tries to pay? What if he drops his fork on the floor?

“So…” he starts, but Natasha’s eyes are looking over his shoulder, at the table a few feet away. There’s an expression in her face he’s never seen before. “Nat? You okay?”

“Um,” she swallows hard, but doesn’t let her eyes shift. When Clint turns to look over his shoulder she grabs his arm. “Don’t. Don’t look.”

“What? What’s going on?” He asks, completely confused. It’s then that he realizes her hand, still resting on his arm, is shaking. Her breathing sounds off, quicker than normal, and when he looks up at her she looks on the brink of a panic attack. “Natasha?”

“I can’t…” she tries, but just shakes her head. “I can’t explain this. I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Clint murmurs, “Just...tell me what’s happening.”

“I’m really sorry,” she says again, and he’s startled to see tears in her eyes, “can we please go? I’m really sorry, we can just go somewhere else, please?”

“Of course, Tasha, yeah,” Clint says quickly, still full of confusion. She stands sharply, grabbing her phone and intertwines her fingers through his. The bolt of excitement he feels at her gesture is muted over by his concern at her sudden shift in mood. They walk past the table, and Clint glances over to see a man, maybe in his mid thirties. He’s talking to a group of women, and doesn’t seem to notice them, but Natasha shivers when they pass his table.

When they are in the open air, Natasha takes a long, deep breath, and Clint bits his lip, completely and utterly confused.

“Want to walk a bit?” She asks shakily, and he nods quickly. She still hasn’t let go of his hand.

“Sure.” He follows her as she leads him away from the restaurant and down the paths, in no particular direction. “Nat…” he asks after a few minutes, and she whips around to face him, dropping his hand.

“I’m so sorry, Clint, I ruined this date, I’m really sorry,” she gasps, and Clint shakes his head vigorously.

“No, Tasha, not at all, I swear,” he assures her, but she is still visibly upset. “Can you just tell me what happened?”

She takes a deep breath, and leads him over to the large grassy lawn, sitting down hard on the ground. He awkwardly follows her lead, and they settle against the base of a tree. Leaves crunch underneath them as Natasha scoots around so that they are both sitting cross legged facing one another.

“Okay. Just...listen first, okay? Don’t interrupt until I’m done. I need to get this all out.” She whispers, and he nods, watching her carefully. “I told you a bit about Ivan, but not… not much. Not what he did to me. When I turned fourteen, he started having friends over for poker night. Stupid things like that. They were all gross, and kind of old, but Ivan would have me serve drinks and stuff. If I did it quietly, he’d leave me alone.”

Clint watches her face. She is staring at the ground, weaving her fingers into the patch of grass at her feet. She looks far away, lost in a memory. He knows that that feels like.

“But then the men...they started looking at me differently. When I got older, Ivan would have me wear outfits to serve the drinks, or dance for them, or something. I hated it, but if I didn’t do it, he’d hurt me.” She sounds on the brink of tears, and Clint wants to reach out to her, but she told him not to interrupt, so he holds his tongue. “Then one night...he locked me in the basement. With them.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “They….they took turns with me. All of them. And when they were done, they gave Ivan money and left.”

“Nat,” he breathes, but she flinches, though he can’t tell if it’s from his interruption or the painfullness of the memory. She lets out a ragged breath, tears falling from her eyes.

“Ivan started selling me. I don’t remember their names, but...I never forget a face. Sometimes they were older, sometimes they were just college students, but...when I was sixteen, Bucky and Sam found out, and they got me out of there.”

Natasha takes a deep, shuddering breath, and Clint feels his heart break at her words.

“That guy...he was one of them. I don’t know why he’s here, or how he got here, but like I said. I never forget a face.”

“So the guys in the alley…” suddenly the pieces start to fall together. Clint runs a hand through his hair helplessly.

“Brought back painful memories. I normally fight back, but it was a bad night,” she manages, and Clint reaches out, grabbing her hand. She flinches slightly, but doesn’t pull away. He circles his thumb along the back of her hand comfortingly, trying to calm her down. He doesn’t know what to say, but he feels like he should say something, anything to comfort her,

“Natasha, I’m not upset about the date,” he starts, praying he doesn’t say something wrong. “I could never be upset with you. I just want you to feel safe, so if I can do anything, I want to help.”

“Thanks,” She whispers, and she scoots closer to him, leaning her head against his shoulder. He freezes slightly at the unexpected movement, but relaxes into her. The movement feels right to him, and her warmth pressed up against his side is one of the most comforting sensations he’s felt in a long time,

“My brother Barney and I grew up together,” Clint says into the silence. He doesn’t know why he’s telling her this, but she just opened up to him, so he feels like he should say something back. “When we were kids we were in the circus, like I told you, but he made friends there that had connections. The circus gig wasn’t paying a lot, so he started selling drugs on the side without me knowing.”

Natasha snuggles closer into his side, shivering slightly, though whether from the slight chill in the air or from her overwhelming emotions he doesn’t know.

“He got roped into a gang after a while, and he tried to get me to join. When I said no, he threatened me. So I went with him. He was my big brother. I trusted him.” Clint takes a deep breath. The memories hit hard, especially with the phone call he’d just received. “After almost a year, I left. I hated it. It was dangerous, it was stupid. I found some old friends from my circus days and slept on a few couches and finished high school online. Then I went here. It was a new start.”

“What happened to Barney?” Natasha asks softly, and Clint jumps. He’d almost forgotten she was there.

“He stayed with them, I think. He called me a few days ago. Told me he wanted me back.”

“Clint—”

“I’m not going back, Tasha, not now, not ever.” Clint says firmly, and he feels Natasha relax slightly in his arms.

They fall into a comfortable silence. Clint hasn’t opened up like this to anyone in a long time, and while it feels good to get it off his chest it’s a scary feeling. But she was vulnerable with him and he trusts Natasha more than he has trusted anyone in years. After a long beat of silence, Natasha chuckles slightly into his chest.

“We’re both a little messed up, huh?” She murmurs, and he runs a hand through her hair.

“That we are.”

“Sorry about ruining—”

“You didn’t ruin anything. This is perfect.”

She wraps her arms around him, and even though her voice is calm, he can still feel her shaking slightly. He tightens his grip around her shoulders as she lets out a sigh into the cool fall air.

...

...

Tag list:

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