#edgar's 'life is meaningless' jack is 'LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!!!'

[carbonateddelusion]

silly thoughts

I used to interact pretty frequently with my characters using my persona, we had a whole running gag abt me breaking the fourth wall nd everything

I'm like 128% sure Dude would also do that.

it'd show up out of the blue with its Human Costume On, be all chill, and then when everybody least expects it, just casually morph back into its normal form. like I have such a vivid imagine in my brain .

lil overnight dinner party thing is going on nearby or smth. there's more people at the hotel than usual. Isaac and Noah and Eddie are all super busy. Eddie turns a corner and sees Dude just. Standing there. and watches its mouth materialize out of thin air to go "hey" in the most off-putting voice imaginable given its appearance.

"no one will believe you."

Dude rounds the corner, Eddie follows behind, and Dude is nowhere to be seen. I think they'd do that kind of thing <3 and then reset the timeline.

the only problem with that kinda thing though is that Eddie tends to remember things he shouldn't. so he's constantly aware of the fact that there is a higher being controlling him and his life and the lives of his loved ones and he's all existential about it but honestly there's no way his depression can get worse so it's fine.

[hejer-maomao]

Can I make a request in how the Ikerev suitors react to a MC with Depression? If you aren't comfortable writing this, I understand.

… This right here has to be the most challenging request I have ever received and I’m honestly terrified of writing it.

I have hesitated for some time now and I even thought of simply turning you down because depression is not an easy topic to write about. But when I thought of the possibility of these HCs somehow making anyone, anyone, out there feel a little bit better about themselves, then I will force myself out of my comfort zone for it.

Just few words of serious warning here. I am not an expert on mental illnesses nor am I a doctor. Although I am not exactly mentally healthy myself, I have never been diagnosed with depression either. I will try my best to make this as accurate as possible, based on my readings, my own experience and my friends’ struggles. So, please, do not hesitate to tell me if something is erroneous or can potentially offend or trigger anyone who has depression and I will immediately take this post down, you have my word.

The purpose of these HCs will be to heal and to comfort and NOT to belittle or mock depression.

For all of you out there, who are battling with depression, you are real warriors my friends and I pray to God you never stop fighting. Keep clinging to hope and never be ashamed to seek out help. Many people , including myself, are always ready to hear you out. My ask box is also open for everyone who simply wants an ear to listen.

Trigger Warning: Depression.

Ikemen Revolution Suitors Reacting to an MC with Depression:

Lancelot:

Lancelot would quietly listen to you as you confess everything to him, his eyes never leaving your face, his hands gently enveloping your cold ones.

Once he is sure you have said it all, Lancelot will slowly guide your body to face his own, bring his face closer to yours and solemnly say, “You’re not a burden. You’re a strong woman. So strong. But I’m here now, so try to lean on me even for a while.”

Lancelot would tightly embrace your trembling body with his strong arms, trapping you against the solid warmth of his chest, and burying his face into the crook of your shoulder, leaving behind soft kisses on your skin.

His hands would come up to pat your hair, tightening his hold on you further as soon as he begins to hear your sobs echoing in the room. After letting you cry your heart out, the King of Hearts would gently pick you up and carry you to the bed. Carefully tucking you under the covers, he would place a soothing kiss on your forehead. 

Lancelot will not leave your side for the rest of the night, nor the night after it as well as all nights for the rest of your lives.

Just like you have managed to save him from the throes of despair, supported him when he was distant and cold, and forgave his cruelest actions, Lancelot took an oath to himself to never stray away from your side, and to hold your hand as you find your way out of the darkness inside your head.

Jonah:

As soon as the words left your lips, it would take some time for Jonah to process the situation and for his brain to register the new information. When it fully sinks in, Jonah’s eyes would immediately begin to water, his cheeks taking on a soft shade of red before he chokes out. “How can you be so strong?”

Jonah would gently hold your hands, bringing them to his lips, kissing each and every knuckle of yours before nuzzling your palm against his own cheeks. Throwing his arms around you in a hug, Jonah would gently whisper how strong, how fierce and how beautiful you are, because even in your darkest hours, you never gave up on yourself.

The Queen of Hearts would then puff up his chest and slightly pout, his eyes still red from all the tears he shed and order you to stay put until be comes back. Jonah would then leave for a few minutes before returning with a plate full of sweet treats, plopping next to you on the sofa and shoving them into your mouth. For each cookie you successfully eat, Jonah would reward you with a gently peck on your lips, softly smiling at you as you slowly make your way through the desserts, Pine nestled quietly on your lap.

Jonah cannot be prouder of you after your confession. He always respected the incredible woman he fell in love with right from the start, but knowing how much pain and suffering you had to go through on a daily basis made Jonah wants to hold you inside his arms and never let you go.

You’re the bravest soldier Jonah has ever met.

Edgar:

Edgar’s surprise in reaction to your words barely lasts for a few seconds before his regular, soft smile returns to his lips. He adorably tilts his head and softly tells you, “I love you regardless of anything.”

For Edgar, there’s nothing you can say to him that can make his love for you decrease even by a mere inch. After all, you have accepted him wholly, with his bloody past and disappointing actions, deceiving nature and horrible secrets. How can he not do the same for you?

The Jack of Hearts knows all about self-loathing and the awful feelings of anguish and hopelessness. Even now, Edgar still hasn’t learned how to completely let go of his past, nor how to accept that this cruel world actually deserves to be loved. 

Edgar will hold your hand in his, and will ask you to stay by his side as you both learn, bit by bit, to love life again and see that there’s hope even in the midst of the darkest nights.

If Edgar managed to return from hell itself with your help, then you have no doubts that he will give up everything he has in order for you to keep on living and learn how to smile again.

Zero:

Zero’s first words to you would be, “It’s okay to feel this way,” as he tightly holds your hand, his eyes trembling with raw emotions. 

Zero is no stranger to the feeling of utter emptiness in one’s chest. He has, for very long time now, felt as if he does not belong anywhere, as if he is destined to feel lost and meaningless for the rest of his life.

So Zero, knowing that you feel almost the same as he, if not worse, smiles gently at you and squeezes your hand a bit tighter. Just as you chose to see past his flaws and his deeply-rooted insecurities, Zero will forever see you as the strong warrior you are. In your dark just as your bright days, Zero promises he will be there. He will smile when you do and hold you close whenever you feel like crying. He will give you space and time whenever you need them and stick close to you if you feel like the world is crashing around you.

Zero will be more than content to simply walk by your side and match your pace. He will be there when you feel courageous enough to take baby steps towards healing and he will never abandon you even when you shut yourself in your room and come so close to giving everything up. Zero will be there, through it all. So do not be afraid, and lean on his sturdy back, and let his gentle warmth and kind heart heal your very soul.

Kyle:

“Is there anything I can do to help?” would be Kyle’s softly whispered words as he gently holds you close to his chest, one hand patting the crown of your head, tousling your hair in a familiar gesture.

Kyle might not be a psychologist, but as a doctor, he knows that talking about one’s fears and doubts might prove quiet efficient in the process of healing. He is more than ready to introduce you to one of his psychologists friends, whom he has absolute trust in their skills. But if you do not feel ready to talk to anyone yet, Kyle will respect your decision and encourage you to take as much time as you need. He will be there, whichever choice you make.

Kyle’s soft heart and awkward kindness will shine through your darkest days as his rough hands will guide you back to the surface every time you feel like you’re drowning. Kyle will use every means in his hands to bring you back to health, all the while making sure he does not force you beyond your limits. 

His golden eyes will never stray from you as he alternates between gently pushing you towards the sun and tenderly enveloping you in the safety of your shared room. No matter how hard things become, Kyle will be there with his silly smiles and stupid jokes, and he will repeatedly save you whenever you feel too tired to even stand on your own.

Ray:

Ray’s emerald eyes would tremble for so long, his hands softly rubbing your back as he quietly waits for you to finish speaking before he calmly whisperer: “There is hope.”

Ray is not excessively optimistic, nor is he unreasonably idealistic. He simply knows the woman he loves and he knows what she is capable of. He is certain that she will make it through it all, no matter how many times she falls, no matter how much it bleeds and hurts, he knows you will get back up even if you choose to stay down for some time, gathering up your strength.

Ray fell in love with a real fighter, same as him. And just like he never gave up on his own self for years, Ray will undoubtedly never give up on you either.

He knows it’s hard. He knows how painful it is to get up in the morning when all you want to do is to lay in bed, crying your heart out, doing nothing at all. He knows how tedious life can become, when all the people around you are smiling and enjoying themselves while you feel like suffocating with each breath you take, your insecurities piling up on your shoulders, threatening o pull you under the tide at any given chance.

Be ready to be completely accepted by this man. All of you, from head to toe, will be embraced by Ray as he walks you the same road as you towards self-healing. 

Take as much time as you need with this man by your side. With Belle gathered in his arms, he will follow you to the ends of the world.

Sirius:

Sirius will be silent for a long while after you finish talking. He will hold your hands between his own, his fingers tenderly caressing your knuckles, as he thinks for a while.

Once he reaches his final conclusion, Sirius will hum in approval before getting up, dragging you with him in the process.

“Let me help,” is Sirius’ next words as he wears his usual, familiar smile.

You will pampered to death by this man. Do you feel like staying at your room all day without doing nothing at all? Sirius will make sure you have soft blankets, water and warm meals whenever the darkness in your head gets too overwhelming. Do you feel a little bit better, ready to go out for a while? Sirius will also be there, hand intertwined with yours, as he allows to pick whichever destination you want to go to, without ever pushing you too far or forcing you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Life is unfair, and Sirius is well aware if that. Although he cannot exactly banish your doubts and insecurities, he will be there to deny them all and remind you how much you are loved and that when all of this is over, he will still be here and so will you.

Seth:

Ever wondered how it would feel if you had someone who understands your very soul without even needing to speak? Well, Seth will become that person for you.

You don’t even need to spell everything out, Seth would be up on his feet declaring that you’ll get through this together. 

Just like Sirius, Seth will be able to read your every mood and act according to your feelings for the day. He will alternate between providing you with days full with shopping trips, delicious food and girls’ talk and others simply spent watching classical movies in the darkness of your shared room, curled up together under the blankets, munching on simple treats.

Don’t hesitate to lay everything bare to this man and rely on him to hold your hand as you fight your way through it all to reach the surface. Seth will never judge you nor deny any of your efforts. Whether you only manage to get up from your bed in the morning or spend an entire day smiling or laughing, Seth will be proud of you regardless.

Harr:

“I love you”, is Harr’s response to your confession.

For him, a strong fighter like you who managed to help him out of his own darkness is more than capable to save herself, but he will be there with you, each step of the way, keeping you safe from the demons inside your head, and holding your hand whenever it feels too much to bear.

Harr’s kindness and concern will mainly show in actions rather than words. A cup of warm chocolate and soft tissues after you finish sobbing your heart out for no reason. Your favorite flower appearing right beside your pillow after you spent an entire day holed up in your room, refusing to let anyone inside.

Small acts like these will contentiously prove Harr’s determination to share his warmth with you, as you both find your ways towards loving yourselves and loving this world.

Oliver:

Clenching his teeth in irritation, Oliver will most certainty tell you how much of an idiot you are, if you thought this will change anything between you.

“You chose me, so don’t go around trying to escape. You’re stuck with me, so deal with it. You won’t drive me away.”

Oliver’s behavior will not undergo any major changes after your declaration. He will still treat you the same way since he does not consider you to be any different. In his eyes, you’re the same silly woman he fell in love with. It doesn’t matter for him that at certain days, you would feel too empty to even get up from the bed or too tired to even brush your hair or drink your coffee. It does not matter because Oliver will be there in any case, every day, whether good or bad, and will kiss you good morning, insult your bed hair before threading his fingers through it, tenderly kissing its ends.

Oliver is the same as ever, and his love for you will remain unchanged. He fell in love with a human after all, and he will embrace that human, with all of her mood swings and flaws.

Hey little fighter, soon things will be brighter ❤

[blackarmyslave]

Masquerade [IkeRev]

Pairing: Ray Blackwell x Alice

Fandom: Ikemen Revolution

Notes: really trashy writing oof

Pshh dont act so suprised its another ray thing

Alice hated masquerade balls.

She hated them with a passion. There was just something irritating about them... how those disgustings pigs, commonly referred to as men, often tried to lure her into bed; or how, every time she talked to women, their conversations would almost always end up in gossips about her family's riches that were acquired with bloody hands, and how they killed countless people under a single man's orders, not knowing the person they were talking to about it is part of said family. Yet despite her loathing for occasions like these, Alice would still have to attend, for it was the only way she could fraternize with others. Her family was shunned by society for being such a hideous and brutal one. But here, in masquerade balls, she can wear a mask and pretend to be someone else and mingle to her heart's content. Nobody would know it was a girl from a bloody household.

Once or twice, Alice had danced with a few nobilities she considered decent enough for her. Those who weren't pedophiles, she conversed with. Those who were purely sober, she'd bonded with. But it was way past midnight now and she had gotten bored of the ball. A woman can only take so much soulless dancing and meaningless political talks. Not to mention the rough mask that hid her face from bashers, was starting to irritate her sensitive porcelain skin.

With a forced smile, the young descendant of the country's most infamous household excused herself from the festivities and went to the garden. Truly, it was a beautiful garden. The flowers were in full bloom and the breeze was refreshing. Alice stretched, in a way that was very undignified. Yet she couldn't care less. Her muscles were sore from keeping up a flawlessly upright posture all this time, and she was bored beyond measure.

The itch on her face that was long there reached its peak, and Alice couldn't take it anymore. She moved to dispose her mask until a voice warned her, "It's rude to take off your mask in a ball like this."

It was a man's voice, smooth like the waves and light as the garden's breeze. Undoubtedly, it had belonged to a young man... a cool young man. But Alice despised people who dared talk to her so fondly. She swirled around to reprimand whoever it had been.

"I don't recall holding responsibility to oblige," she retorted, her prissy tone leaking with every syllable. One corner of the man's lips slowly curled upwards in an amused smirk.

"Then by all means, go embarrass yourself."

Alice scoffed with irritation. Who does this man think he is? Yes, it's true that taking off your mask is a big no in a masquerade ball, but--

Oh.

She suddenly felt like smacking her forehead. If she takes the accessory off, she's to reveal her identity. And no doubt receive countless ridicules. And Alice didn't want that, especially from a man like him. Her cheeks flushed in realization. Suddenly the girl wanted to keep it on and couldn't feel the itch anymore.

"You're from the infamous Bright household, aren't you? Alice Bright, if I'm correct; twin sister of Edgar Bright, the Jack of Hearts and known as the Gentle Demon." surprise mf

Alice took her time studying the man. How had he known about her? What gave it away? What had she done to inform him of her identity? Most of all, who is this bastard? He was handsome, without a doubt, even with a mask on; black hair and intense emerald eyes, containing a youthful aura, but at the same time holding himself with such composed regality. His body was carved to perfection. He wore a simple yet dazzling dark sapphire mask with round diamonds literring it, the suit on his body looking ridiculously expensive.

Dark and regal... only one name clicked in the girl's head: the popular and widely loved King of Spades.

"I take it you're King Ray Blackwell...?"

The man rolled his eyes distastefully at the attached title. But he made no move to deny his identity, something that's against tradition. 'How hypocritical,' Alice thought dryly.

"Forget the King part, it's too preppy for my tastes," he said. "Just Ray is fine."

Alice rose a thin eyebrow. For a king, Ray Blackwell was too casual. She's always depicted him as cold and dignified, with no intention of fooling around; just like the opposing King of Hearts. Yet here he was: the Black King himself who didn't give a horse's muck whether people found out about his identity or not, speaking informally as if he'd known Alice all their lives.

'Charming-- I mean, preposterous! Ghastly!'

Well... what can she say? It's her first time meeting a man like Ray; someone true to himself and didn't stumble foolishly in a vain attempt of becoming the perfect gentleman.

But no. In the Bright household, emotions were a mortal sin. It was the biggest crime. And Alice grew up all her life believing it.

Naturally, she ignored her fluttering heart.

"So," Alice walked around the garden with Ray. She hadn't even noticed how her irritation with him had suddenly faded after witnessing his genuine personality. "The King of Spades is a fan of balls, then?"

Ray snorted. "Heck no. What makes you think that just because I attend 'em, I like 'em? Isn't everyone only here for the sake of making connections?"

"Probably." Alice would be damned if she voiced her agreement. "And does that rule apply to you as well, sire?"

Ray gave the girl a disgusted look. She only blinked, urging him to voice out what took him aback.

"Okay. One, it doesn't. I'm just here to let loose for a bit. Second... Cut that formality out! It's creepy." "Why so? Do your soldiers not address you that way?"

Ray's green orbs took on a fond light, giving Alice the answer right away, as if his memories of his subordinates were all warm and cozy. One could tell he was a good leader and a true king by just a glance of that. And maybe, she thought, he was a brother, too; a brother to the rest of his army. Alice wondered how they treated each other... did they eat at the same table? Did they disregard ranks and fraternized comfortably? Was it like a home in the Black Army's headquarters?

"They address me as a king during official business, yes," he replied. "But we're just ourselves around one another for most of the time. Parties every week or so, lots of laughter and pranks... it's like a brotherhood."

The faintest trace of a smile ghosted the girl's lips. "It sounds lovely."

From there, it went on and on. Ray asked Alice what was her favorite animal, to which she replied cats for they were elegant and had the cutest little mewls; and much to her surprise, Ray shared her thoughts. She, in return, asked him what he thought about table etiquette, and he laughed at just how preppy Alice was being. Nevertheless, he answered her, saying "I think dining fancily's fine if serious stuff are going on, like funerals or oathtakings. It's a way of showing respect. But people shouldn't be judged by how they act at the table. In fact, class shouldn't even be a social judgement or something. 'Course, this is just my opinion. And I think table manners should be kept to a minimum. People deserve to enjoy their food and time without fear of being critiqued of how classy or polite they are. They should be able to be just themselves in a table, because after all, that honesty's bound to form really tight relationships real quick, no?"

A bit more of talking and before she even knew it, it had been past 3AM now. Alice never thought it would be so fun to converse with the king. He was honest and frank, yet still respectful and even funny. They shared a lot of opinions about several topics, and one's answer changed the perspective of the other. The Bright lady wished to the twinkling stars high above she'd get another chance at talking with Ray in the future.

Now, Alice knew she shouldn't be rooting for the opposition. Her household is a Red through and through. In fact, her brother's the Jack of Hearts himself! At the back of her head, the ever-obedient little prodigy of the Bright family screamed at her to get away and cut off all connections with Blackwell. 'What do you think you're doing?!' a part of her screeched.

But right now, she wasn't really a Bright. She was just Alice. Little ol' Alice, who came to a masquerade ball in hopes of being able to talk to whoever she wants without her status bothering her. And she wasn't ready to throw that away just yet, and return to her uptight lifestyle.

'Just not yet, please,' she pleaded with her own self.

Suddenly, a slow, hopeful, smooth tune took on. It was faint and distant, coming from the ballroom many yards away. Yet she and Ray both heard it, the melody carried by the wind to their ears, and Ray took the cue.

"May I have this dance, Alice?" He asked her, the gentlest, most handsome smile on his lips, offering her his hand, and the girl's heart skipped a beat.

Had it been any other man; a pretentious, try-hard fake gentleman or a drunk bastard, she would've slapped. But no... not this one. He was a bastard, yes, the feisty part of her claimed, but he was a good bastard. A modest, decent, alright bastard.

Alice let her face be lit up by a grin. It had been her first in so long. She placed her hand on top Ray's and they both started dancing to the slow, almost-romantic music, everything else fading and all they could feel was this blossoming warmth in their souls.

And long after the song was over, and all was said and done, they still remained in one another's embrace. Red and Black forgetting their blazing feud for even just a moment; even in just a masquerade ball. They're just Alice and Ray, each silently praying dawn never comes and they'd never have to say theeir goodbyes.

Alice giggled under her breath. She'd decided. Maybe masquerades aren't so bad after all.

[frazzledsoul]

So I recently had an unofficial binge watch of most of the third season of Gilmore Girls and

Why did I suddenly stop watching this show in late 2002 for no apparent reason? I mean, it was made for me. There is an episode with dueling Edgar Allen Poe impersonators and a magic cat! If that isn’t my type of show, I don’t know what is.

As much as I love season 5 and the better moments during season 6, there’s definitely value to watching this show before my ship set sail and everything got so complicated. The show was sweeter and more innocent then and it was easier to appreciate it as a whole. It was also a lot easier to like Rory when she was in high school.

Various thoughts on this mini binge:

The technology gap isn’t as obvious to me as it was a few years ago when I sat down with my DVD copies of the first two seasons, but I do have to chuckle at everyone running around with pagers when they already have cell phones. It’s so quaint.

Lorelai’s drama about which Ivy League school Rory is going to be manipulated into attending is so silly. There will come a time in the near future when she’s going to be grateful this is the biggest drama she has to deal with in her child’s life.

There are two major, major continuity gaps that popped up in the revival that are glaringly apparent in 3.18 (the episode with the inn fire, the dueling Edgar Allen Poes, and the magic cat). ASP wrote this episode, so she can’t blame it on any of the other writers. One of them involves Luke meeting Nicole’s parents and witnessing an extended conversation about yup, surrogacy contracts. Luke is distracted by his current parenting (via Jess) woes and it’s been twelve years so we’ll let that one pass, but it really makes no sense that he would remain totally clueless about how that kind of thing works years later. 

The second one involves how long Michel has known Lorelai. He clearly states in this episode that it’s only been five years (which is two years before the series began, when Lorelai was 30). However, in the revival Lorelai clearly details that they first met when she began working at the front desk and he told her she shouldn’t wear a Thompson Twins T shirt to work. The scene Lorelai recalls had to take place when she was in her late teens/early 20s, as it makes no sense that it would take her 13 years to work up to the front desk and become manager 2 years later or that she would be able to buy her house 3 years before she made it to the front desk (and the Thompson Twins T shirt is obviously a tip off that this event happened long before then, as Lorelai would have been 30 in in 1998). I know I’m probably the only one who noticed this, but would it have killed ASP to hire any continuity experts to check for this stuff? The loss of Michel is pretty key to Lorelai’s plot in the revival and even if they stuck with the correct timeline, they still would have been working together for close to two decades.

When Lorelai was talking to Rory about having a few “three night stands” in the revival, she was totally referring to Alex, wasn’t she? The dude just disappears and no one seems to care.

That said, romantically Lorelai is all over the place this season. Christopher, Max, Alex, Luke. She’s got all of her bases covered and yet at this point her story’s mostly about Rory and Rory’s man drama and college choices. The show wasn’t at the point where it could really be about something else yet. So let’s take the guys one at a time, shall we:

Christopher.  Lorelai spends the earlier part of the season distraught over Christopher and the fact that they missed their one big chance to have a relationship again. I’m only mentioning this because I think after this incident it was never really the same with him for Rory or Lorelai again. Rory could never really forgive him for showing up to be Gigi’s dad when he failed her in so many ways. Lorelai could never really be as starry-eyed about him after this: yes, she does give him another chance eventually, and commits to him when she shouldn’t have, but it was too late by then: he’d already failed her, and she’d been with Luke, and had known it could be a lot better than Christopher was ever capable of.

Max. I kind of wish we had gotten to see Max in the revival. They had a perfect opening with Rory and Paris returning to Chilton and it wouldn’t have opened up another love triangle situation, because Lorelai wouldn’t have been there. I would have loved to see him stable and with a wife that suited him and actually loved him (and maybe some kids). Max, like Dean, was a nice guy who just wasn’t right for Lorelai, and it would have been nice to see that he ended up with a nice life away from it all, like Dean did. It’s so sad that the last we see of him is being physically threatened by Lorelai’s presence while she pursues him solely because she’s bored with her current quasi-boyfriend (when she remembers he exists, that is).

Alex. It’s now occurred to me that Alex is basically Lorelai’s version of Rory’s Paul in the revival and I’m kinda creeped out. Well, at least Alex didn’t seem to take it any more seriously than Lorelai did.

Luke. Luke spends this season as lovesick and silently devoted to Lorelai as ever, but halfway through he seems to decide that it’s not going to happen and he’s just going to move on. I’m not really sure what Nicole was doing with him, though. He seems a lot more willing to go on excursions with Nicole (the skiing trip, the cruise) than he was with either Lorelai or Rachel (in both cases, they both stuck pretty close to life in town) but at the same time denies he wants to commit to her at all. He seems to always be looking for reasons to confirm that Lorelai might be a tad interested. When Lorelai tells him about the dream, it’s clear that he’s looking for what might else might be in there that she’s not telling him. And when he’s with her at Rory’s graduation and asks if she’s sure that it’s really a good idea for him to go on vacation with Nicole “despite everything”, he’s practically begging her to give him any little sign of hope.

All that time, he still was hanging onto that horoscope. Even after he married Nicole, he never let go of it. All she had to do was say the word and Nicole would be history.

Ugh, these two.

I kind of want to talk a little about the kids subject, since the season opens with Lorelai dreaming she’s pregnant with his babies and the one time they discuss the subject before they actually get together is in this season. I don’t think the dream was as much about Lorelai really subconsciously wanting the babies as it was about wanting someone who would actually support her and take care of her and her family (ie Rory), and that was never going to be Christopher. It was always Luke. I don’t think Lorelai knows it at this point: for her part, she is clearly jealous of Nicole, but she hasn’t thought it out any farther than that.

When Luke brings the subject of kids in the dance marathon episode to Lorelai it really comes out of left field. What does she care if Luke makes a few snarky comments about Sookie and Jackson’s suitability as parents? She’s not his girlfriend: she’s not remotely thinking about having kids with him in reality. Of course, that’s the exact reason he brings it up. He doesn’t want Lorelai to dismiss the notion of giving him a chance on something even as remote as him never wanting kids. But it doesn’t sound to me like it’s something either of them are longing for. I’ve heard lots of talk that their conversation about kids in the revival was empty and meaningless as opposed to this earlier conversation, and I think that’s silly. While it’s a cute moment that obviously implies that they are meant to be together eventually, it just doesn’t compare to a conversation where they discuss their life together and Luke flat out says that he considers Rory his daughter (and that he doesn’t need a son because he has Jess). He and Lorelai didn’t need a traditional family of their own because they already had one.

What I think some fans miss when they get wrapped up in the fact that Luke and Lorelai never had kids of their own is that even at the moment of this earlier conversation, Luke is already a parent. He really, really tries with Jess, albeit imperfectly, and he fails. Maybe it wasn’t possible to reach someone as angry and confused as Jess was. Maybe if Luke had been more proactive in making sure Jess actually finished high school on time, he would have succeeded. But it’s so sad to me to see Jess beg and beg that deadbeat father of his to let him stay with him because he can’t face life back home. But Luke was the only real father that Jess had, and his good influence ultimately paid off, even if not right away.

(And seriously? We were supposed to watch a spinoff series on Jess and his dad? I’m glad it never happened. I think it would kind of lessen all that Luke tried to do for Jess.)

I think too that we see that Luke really is Rory’s actual dad in this season, if only intermittently. Christopher makes a big deal about Rory forgiving him at the beginning of the season, but he’s got little to offer her. He can’t even show up for her graduation. But Luke is there, and he even cries: he’s jubilant at all of her college acceptance letters: he’s very overprotective when it comes to Jess. He was always there for her, no matter what.

(Luke must be a living nightmare for April’s boyfriends, though. Even his own relatives weren’t good enough for Rory, and we can see that overprotectiveness with April start to flare in season 7.).

Jess really does not come off well to me in this season. In fact, I remain confused as to why so many people remained in love with Jess Mariano for years after the way he ends things here. Jess polled as Rory’s favored boyfriend for years, and I believe the affection many people had for him is a major reason why Milo is so beloved on This Is Us (of course, the fact that Jack Pearson is a flawless human specimen has a lot to do with that, but I think that affection did transfer over). Jess lies to Luke, betrays the trust he has in him, and flunks out of school for no apparent reason. He tries to get Rory to have sex with him, avoids her, and then leaves town without a word for either her or Luke. And this is after beating up Dean, having Luke takes responsibility for his own mess, and ruining Rory’s chance to go to prom. I know he was a sullen, rebellious kid who never wanted to be there and had basically been abandoned by both of his parents, but he had a lot of good people in his corner pulling for him and wanting him to do better. I think the guy he turned into in the revival is a sweet, loyal, dependable guy who would make a great mate for Rory if she ever gets her shit together. We can kind of see him becoming that person in his later appearances in the series. But that is not who he was by the end of season 3.

Lane’s plotline kind of falls flat to me: it seems so twee and backward, even for a show like this. Dave is cute and patient and adorably awkward, but the kind of shenanigans Lane is pulling with him at this point are ridiculous, considering that she’s nearly an adult. I just couldn’t accept him as a real love interest, and I’m not sure he was any more suited to Lane than Zach eventually was. Dave started off perfect: Zach clearly never was, and he had to work to become the kind of person that would be good for Lane. I don’t really see Dave fitting into the kind of hipster mom/dad unit that Lane had settled into by the time of the revival. So I guess the guy is sweet, but I’m not getting it. At least she got a chance to go to prom, though.

The fact that Lorelai is willing to give up her dream of buying the inn solely so that Rory can fulfill her dream of going to an Ivy League school and not have to burden her parents again makes me love her so, so much. I mostly focus on the shipper stuff when it comes to this show but ultimately it is about one woman’s self-sacrifice for the sake of her daughter and I think we see this so much this season. Lorelai can be selfish and infuriating and we do see that a lot of the time, but she’s more than willing to dig her heels in and make the hard choices when it counts. In a world of Shonda Rhimes dramas and decadent superhero shows, we really need that sometimes.

And if you don’t cry at Rory’s tribute to her mom during her graduation speech, you soul is blacker than even mine and there is no hope for you.