#ed on the phone: Harley

[riddle-me-ri]

Ok, here's another one. Zero Year, Arkham, BTAS Riddler

He is having a conversation with Reader, who he isn't on friendly terms with, and third Rogue. Rogue wanting to point something out says.

"It doesn't work! It's like asking Y/N if she would sleep with you"

"Eh." Y/N said.

"Excuse me?"

"Just because I hate his guts doesn't mean he doesn't have a pretty face."

A/N: hahaha this is brilliant! I hope you don't mind I took some liberties in the wording of the conversations but I hopw the idea still reads rip. This was such a fun exercise to write other Rogues! Thanks for requesting! Also N/N is nickname since Harley loves to give people nicknames ❤🖤 Also this is untitled cause I wasn't sure what to title these scenarios lol

Trigger Warnings: Suggestive themes and strong language

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler:

“You really don’t perceive me as a threat? The man that brought Gotham City to its knees?” Ed argued.

“Well, Gotham doesn’t really have the best legs to stand on…” Joker quips back. 

You roll your eyes, it’s never-ending feud between these two.

You just had to be stuck in an Arkham padded cell. Between the both of them. You weren’t even insane, they were just overpopulated at Blackgate, but if they didn’t get you out you were going to become insane eventually.

“Y/N, tell that absolute clown-”

“Hey don’t forget handsome!” 

Edward growls in frustration. “Tell him how I’m Batman’s superior foe. How I threw Batman into hiding! How I ran this city for months!”

Joker laughs. “You’ve gotta better chance convincing her to fuck you Eddie boy.” 

“Eh..well..”

“Huh?” Both men rushed towards the wall that separated them from you.

“Please tell me you’re joking…” You hear Joker mutter. 

“I mean…Don’t get me wrong he’s a smug pompous asshole…

Unknowingly, Edward and Joker both shrug and nod. The one thing they could agree on. Well that and Batman. 

“...but he is a cute pompous asshole. Not to mention his face is totally sit-able.”

For one rare moment the Joker was actually speechless for a minute. He laments, “please tell me your joking…”

“I’m afraid she’s dead serious, my friend. As she should be. Once I no doubt escape before the clown…I’d like to take you up on that offer…”

Arkhamverse Riddler: 

“Edward, it’s not going to work.”

“Oh please, what do you know, Crane? Only someone of my parallel intellectual prowess can see the immaculate results it will produce."

Crane blinks and rubs his temples. "Edward, how is building a race course full of obstacles going to prove you're more intelligent than Batman?"

"It calls for quick thinking! He can't possibly predict every twist and turn. The moment he thinks he's solved a puzzle, another one comes right up before a moment's notice! Only a cunning genius of my caliber can pull this off." 

"I'm afraid it'll be like you trying to court Y/N to bed. It's just not going to work.."

"Ah..well…" you interject.

The two men look away from Ed's blueprints on the table to steal a glance at you. You were steadily scrolling through your phone, not lifting your head once.

"W-What was that?" Johnathan inquiries not sure if he heard right. 

You look up to the master of fear and shrug your shoulders. "I mean yeah he's a greasy egomaniac, but he is handsome in a dirty rugged kinda way." 

Johnathan blinks as if still trying to compute this new development. He looks over to Edward who has gone uncharacteristically quiet. 

Edward's face was a deep shade of red and his eyes were as wide as saucers. Riddler.exe has stopped working, good luck trying to reboot. 

BTAS Riddler: 

"Harley, hitting the toy with a mallet won't help you solve it…"

"Sure it can! It fixed all my other problems!" Harley wounds back with her signature mallet. Before she can strike the puzzle toy, Edward snatches it out of the mallet's path.

"Harley..that's cheating…"

"C'mon, Eddie! I've already tried everything! It's like Y/N sleeping with you! It's impossible!"

"Well not…impossible…" You mutter.

"Did I hear that right, N/N? You'd sleep with Ed?!"

"I mean yeah he's an obnoxious know-it-all, but he's so adorable!"  

Harley fake hurls at your admission. 

Meanwhile Ed is walking away, lowering his hat to try and hide his reddening face from the both of you.

[purehoney]

Happier (Happy Lowman)

warnings: basically, it's long but it's angst may contain profanity, aggression or references to other types of violence

note: based on the song by ed sheeran

note 2: leave a comment if you would like other stories, maybe i'll write more!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From that distance the lights in the house looked different, Happy for a few moments thought that maybe he was at the wrong address.

But through the open curtain, which would rarely happen to him at home, it was possible to see Y/N.

And it was in those moments, seeing her smile with someone else, totally relaxed, that he remembered.

He was no longer welcome there.

Suddenly, he felt in the pocket of his jeans, the small cell phone vibrate.

- Hello?

- Where are you? We have a meeting now - said Juice, on the other side of the phone - You left more than an hour ago...

- I'm on my way...

The bald man hung up before there were any more questions, which everyone already knew the answer to.

As he put on his helmet and looked for the last time to find the woman with whom he had decided to spend the last three years, Happy sighed.

Inside, Y/N heard from afar, almost like a thought the sound of the engine of the old Harley. She knew which motorcycle, exactly, made that noise. There were many mornings and dawns woken up by the same sound.

But she just ignored it, it was what she had been doing for over a month, and what she promised herself to keep doing.

.

Before...

1:19 in the morning. Or was it 3:45? Y/N couldn't see, her consciousness didn't follow her body.

But it was automatic, following the sounds of the bike down the street, closer and closer, her feet guiding her out of bed as if it had a life of its own.

She yawned and grabbed a black sweatshirt from the chair next to the computer.

The sound at the entrance to the second floor alerted her.

Then she stopped.

Happy never knocked on the door, he had a key, and even without, he would enter through the back door of the house.

Another knock.

Y/N turned from the hallway back to the dark room, her body shivering involuntarily.

Another knock, and another, and another after that.

Her heart raced, for sure, she thought, it wasn't Happy.

The moment of silence lasted a few minutes, long enough for Y/N to lock herself in the bathroom with her cell phone in her hand, her boyfriend's number already calling on the line.

- Pick up, pick up...

The front door slammed so hard against the wall that the whole house shook.

.

The old Teller-Morrow mechanic's shop, which was also home to the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle group, was packed.

There were more motorcycles at that time than cars on an average day.

The loud music announced a party.

Happy parked his motorcycle next to his friends, one next to the other, they had just arrived from a trip of almost a week away.

- Good to see everyone is well - Gemma, the matriarch of the family welcomed everyone.

In the back of the bar there were dormitories for almost everyone who worked there; many stayed there for days or even months.

Once inside the room, Happy threw his backpack on the bed and taking off his clothes, hurriedly stepped into the cold water of the shower. All he wanted was to get rid of all the dirt and go home, where he knew he would be at peace with Y/N.

It had been three years since they had been together, they had met at one of the parties at the place, she accompanying a friend.

Happy couldn't take his eyes off the woman, they talked all night and he became more fascinated by the second.

He had never felt so happy and at peace.

- Happy, they're calling you out front - the voice of one of the club's prospect rang out from inside the room.

- I'll be right out.

A few minutes later, wearing his usual leather vest, Happy joined the party.

- Is your cell phone around here? I can't find mine...- Happy asked Juice.

- I don't know man, here, grab a beer... - the other bald one said, surrounded by women, smiling.

Happy took the bottle and open.

- I need to go home...

- What are you talking about? - Tig, almost drunk, laughed - We just got here, don't ruin the party.

- Don't start, man...

- I'm serious, since we left the city you've been worrying more than necessary... - Tig hugged his friend sideways, pushing him back inside - Come on, enjoy a little, you'll be back home soon.

Following the advice of friends, Happy allowed himself to enjoy the party and ended up forgetting both the cell phone he was looking for and the hours that passed.

.

- Damn it, Happy, where are you? Please pick up - the woman pleaded against the cell phone, warning a full message box - Please...

- Happy, please help me... - she spoke for the last time into her cell phone, before the door opened with force and two men came in.

In all these years of dating, she had learned a few things about her partner. Happy did things that she knew were wrong, carried as bad a reputation as possible, and had some enemies, so to speak.

- Where's that boyfriend of yours?

The men shouted, there were two more at the bedroom door.

They soon caught her, who was struggling to get out of there, took her to her room, throwing her on the bed.

- Who are you? I don't know what you are talking about...

- Where's Happy, girl? - the taller one pulled her hair so that her face was higher

- Where is he?

- I don't know - she cried softly

- I guess he didn't mind leaving you alone...

Out of the corner of his eye, Y/N noticed that the other three men were breaking every single thing they could find around the room.

- What do you want? There's money in the closet, please don't hurt me - she tugged on her sweatshirt to protect her legs, which were covered only by shorts.

The man holding her face laughed, a sound that turned her stomach.

- We don't want any of that shit, we want you to just pass the message on to those idiots...

- What mes...? - Before the sentence could be completed Y/N felt something cold in her head and closed her eyes tightly. A gun.

Suddenly, she felt pressure on her arm.

It can't be, not like that! She cried, it couldn't end like this.

- Get up! - Another man, one with a hood, was now pulling her out of the room.

They followed her down the stairs, room after room destroyed, practically nothing left.

- Sit down. - He forced her into the dining chair and tied a cloth to her mouth and hands.

Y/N waited for that to be the end of her, her body was trembling and she could no longer see the faces of those men properly, either out of fear or the tears that formed non-stop. She had never felt such panic.

Something hit her head from behind, then she couldn't hear anything else and her vision went dark...

.

It was morning when Happy pulled his motorcycle into the garage. The sun was burning his skin and his head felt like it was exploding.

Surely he had overdone it last night.

Reaching in his pocket for his keys, he noticed the door ajar.

His head was empty now, no pain, no alcohol, just full focus.

- Y/N? - He called while pushing the door with the gun in his hands - Baby?

He looked in all directions hoping that it wasn't true, the house all overturned, broken.

He walked tensely into the dining room.

She was there, her head down. His breath caught in his throat. Happy ran to the woman and lifted her hair, the woman's normally flushed face was a little purple.

- Y/N, please wake up, - he released her from all restraints and held her in his lap on the floor.

- Did they do something to you, baby?

- Happy... I tried to call you - she spoke softly

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry - he said desperate - Who did this?

- I tried to call you... - Y/N cried - Where were you?

Without strength she just cried and trembled in shock.

A few days after that night, Y/N left the house and left Happy. She didn't want anything to remind her of the horror she had been through, she just took her car and drove back to her own house.

Happy never stopped her or went after her.

.

Now...

It was Saturday night, Y/N was leaving a bar in downtown Charming accompanied by a friend and two men.

Across the street, far from her view, Happy watched intently. She should never have walked into the bar that night and should never have fallen in love with him.

He destroyed her, in the worst possible way, leaving her alone when she needed him most.

She was smiling more than ever, hugging one of the men.

- Let's go brother, you know she's fine... - Jax said pulling his friend - she looks happier...

Happy shook his head, not saying anything, knowing he was right. But he couldn't help but think that one day, he'd been happier that way with her too.

[howl-fantasies]

GOTHAM MASTERLIST

Last update: 30/10/2022  // Requests open (I can write in English or French)

Welcome dear.

I just finished Gotham (again) and my brain's wheels were turning happily while I imagined another character in the game: the reader.

You're not really on the good side but you're not 100% bad either. Which leads to funny mini scenarios where you're a friend, a psychiatrist, a lover, a frenemy, ecc. Most of them are in texts form, but some are written normally.

I have a huge unhealthy crush on Gotham Fox version of Victor Zsasz. Anthony Carrigan is an amazing actor and I love his performance!

Also, English is not my first language so I deeply apologize for the mistakes. I am no writer, just a poor woman having her fun with some nonsense on this platform.

Masterlist

HEADCANONS

Gotham villain in love

Cooking with Gotham villains

Gotham villains in a haunted house

Gotham villains when you’re at the hospital

Gotham villains + Jim reacting to reader speaking in French 

Victor + Gotham villains + Y/N what do they think about dancing? 

Gotham villains walking on their S/O when they’re on their “off” mode - NEW -

Gotham villains having met the reader when they were sane - NEW -

REQUESTS 

Gotham villains having met the reader when they were sane - NEW -

Skyfall (Y/N was shot and makes a last request to Victor) - NEW -

Gotham villains walking on their S/O when they’re on their “off” mode - NEW -

Oswald and Y/N bonding (platonic) - NEW -

Y/N on her period and having mood swings (Victor Zsasz x reader) - NEW-

Gotham characters realizing they were total douche with Y/N - NEW -

Y/N hacking Gotham characters’ phones - NEW - 

Dôles de Dames part 3 (French) 

Y/N reaction after Oswald almost beheaded Victor 

Very special talent Oswald x reader (romantic) 

What does Y/N think about Victor’s sense of fashion 

Y/N thinking she’s pregnant and imagining how Victor would react

Gotham villains when their S/O wants to surprise them

Bloodbath Zsasz x reader

Riddler & Scarecrow S/O being friend/flirting with Ivy and Harley

Damsel in distress Oswald Cobblepot x reader (platonic)

Gotham villain and Jim finding out the cute side of the reader

Being surprised in the middle of... you know... but Victor doesn’t stop Zsasz x reader

Gotham Villain when you’re kidnapped

Drôles de dames part 2 (French) @immortal-velociraptor​

Drôles de dames part 1 (French) @immortal-velociraptor​ story

Second thoughts Zsasz x reader, linked to @immortal-velociraptor story

Gotham villains seeing their S/O being catcalled

Understanding Zsasz x reader having a panic attack

Turning point Jim, Ed, Oswald, Zsasz x reader

Politeness Alfred x reader x Bruce (platonic)

Nightmares Jonathan x reader (romantic)

Jealous Gotham villains (headcanons)

Victor being caught and send to Arkham Zsasz x reader

Kiss against a wall Jim x reader

VICTOR ZSASZ X READER

GOTHAM ASSASSINS P1

GOTHAM ASSASSINS P2

GOTHAM ASSASSINS P3

GOTHAM ASSASSINS P4

GOTHAM ASSASSINS P5

GOTHAM ASSASSINS P6

Summary: long posts. While Jim Gordon takes his marks in Gotham as a cop, nothing prepared him for his first meeting with Y/N. Famous assassin, sass machine and one hell of a fighter, the GCPD's rookie will quickly learn that catching the woman means getting an angry other assassin directly on his tail. The mini-series will globally follow the main plot.

Never gonna give you up.

Summary: Victor is torturing thugs by order of Oswald when someone is interrupting him.

In the phone book

Summary: Zsasz is at GCPD. Harvey and Jim try to understand why he wanted to shot them, without success. Oswald suddenly came in and think he had discovered Victor's weakness.

The contract

Summary: Victor has a contract on his head placed by Y/N and wants to know why.

Unforgivable

Summary: Victor is texting the reader and is awfully sweet. So much, that it sounds suspicious.

The score

Summary: The reader is at GCPD. Harvey and Jim need her help to talk to Zsasz and even find a plan. But it doesn't sound that good for the reader.

Night Fever

Summary: reader asks if Victor is free tonight for some fun in a... Gotham's way but is still a bit salty about their last conversation on Riddler's phone.

Ba(l)d emergency

Summary: Barbara is texting reader and ask for her help to stop Victor who's ready to blow her shop.

Valeskape

Summary: reader is missing. Harvey and Jim try to convince a very pissed Victor to help them to find her.

Hit me with your best shot

Summary: Victor is asking how the reader is feeling after she was injured. He may be the cause of her suffering.

Is that Pepperoni?

Summary: who said assassins can't take a break once in a while? Victor and the reader are ready for a pizza, milkshakes and old movies.

Pax Penguina

Summary: Victor informs the reader they'll need a licence of misconduct from now on. He didn't really anticipated nor appreciated how reader answered him.

Lethal Goofball

One of Victor's Zsaszettes send a series of video showing Zsasz acting like a goofy boy every time he sees something related to the reader.

Poisoned

Summary: Zsasz is under Ivy's phenomenon and Jim is asking for reader's help.

Be my Valentine

Summary: what does Valentine's day look like when you're dating an assassin?

Nightmares

Summary: reader was gased by Scarecrow and is texting Victor from Lee's clinic. They'll need Victor's basement soon.

The "Fun way"

Summary: Victor needs to use reader's new freezer. But there is one problem.

Unfriend

Summary: Victor needs to leave Gotham to see his Bubbe and gives reader's number to Wendell. Worst idea ever.

Bubbe

Summary: Victor's bubbe wants to know if the reader saw the rabbi and if it went well.

Stalker

Summary: when Penguin asked Zsasz to go spy on Scarecrow, the hitman didn't anticipated what he would find in his flat.

Trick question

Summary: what happens when an infamous assassins duo is in one of the GCPD interrogation room? Nothing good, definitely.

Babysitting

Summary: what happens when Y/N find little Martin in her flat and the boy tells her Victor brought him in? Nothing good. Definitely.

Domesticity

Summary: (long post) full fluff. Zsasz and Y/N are spending a peaceful movie night. A good opportunity to have a glimpse of Victor chaotic psyche and his thoughts about Y/N.

Alone

Summary: Jeremiah blows up all the bridges in the city. In the middle of the absolute chaos, Zsasz and Y/N are trying to find solutions.

Boy time

Summary: Wendell is trying to convince Victor to join him at Iceberg Lounge in order to find some nice women. He seems to have found one, but there is a little problem with her.

Put a ring on it

Summary: when Y/N is seen in town with a ring around her finger, everybody is freaking out. Except for Victor.

Unexpected

Summary: Zsasz went berserk that night against the GCPD. Y/N saw him and isn't very happy with his recklessness.

Wonder Viking

Summary: Ed has Y/N's phone and Victor wants to know what. Problem? The answer seems unbelievable.

Bloody murder

Summary: when Y/N is not answering her phone, Victor knew something happened. He didn't anticipated the whole villains to be responsible for her silence.

Ex

Summary: (long post) what happens when Y/N and her ex meet again? More importantly, what would Victor do when seeing the other man trying to flirt with her?

Dispute

Summary: having a couple dispute when you're an infamous assassins duo can be dangerous. Especially when the arguing is done with flying bullets.

Men on a mission

Summary: (long post) Falcone sends Zsasz and Y/N after the owner of the new bar in town, the Golden Tiger. The occasion for the couple to reaffirm the Italian Godfather's authority in Gotham and maybe have some kind of twisted fun.

Sir Stalker

Summary: Y/N found a strange box in her drawer and open it. She now understands how Pandora felt.

Vacations

Summary: Jim suspects Y/N to be responsible of a murder. Problem she's not in town nor is Victor, and she can prove it.

Idiotic duet 

Summary: (Long post) Ever wondered how Y/N and Zsasz became an idiotic duet?

Shot

Summary: (Long post) Y/N was shot when she was on a job after one of Oswald’s tantrums. Victor is taking care of her. Fluff. Full fluff. And a bit of blood to, it’s Gotham after all...

Conjugal bliss

Summary: (Long post) Oswald decided to find a better match for Victor than Y/N. No reason things go south. Right?

PLATONIC JIM GORDON X READER

FRENEMIES p.1 (request)

Summary: (long post) Jim was infected by Tech virus and tries to fight it without losing his mind. He asked Y/N to help him and an even bigger favor.

FRENEMIES P.2 (request)

Summary: (long post) Second part of the FRENEMIES mini series. Jim is still fighting Tetch virus to try to find an antidote. But as shit hits the fan, he'll need Y/N help again.

The Godfather

Summary: Jim needs some information about Sofia Falcone. And everyone in Gotham know that if you want to know something, Y/N is the better person to ask.

The fellowship of the crime

Summary: Y/N send Jim misterious and philosophical messages. So much, that Jim is freaking out and even accused Victor to have brainwashed her.

The Sims

Summary: Y/N started to play the infamous life simulator game. Problem she's not playing with the traditional one. And Jim would quickly understand it.

Bad influence

Summary: Jim is trying to make Y/N realise that Zsasz isn't good for her sanity. Will she listen? Of course not.

A little affair (request)

Summary: (long post) Jim is chased by Maroni's men after he tried to stop a drug traffic when he crossed the path of Y/N and ask for her help. Problem? It worked maybe a little too well.

Assassination classroom 

Summary: Jim is targeted with Barnes by Gotham assassins. His only solution? asking for the help of the most terrifying one. 

PLATONIC OSWALD X READER

Give it back!

Summary: Ed's block of ice is missing. Oswald is sure Y/N is the culprit.

Ghost aren't real!

Summary: Oswald is terrified after seeing something looking like a ghost. He asks for Y/N help but didn't really like her answers.

PLATONIC OSWALD X READER X ZSASZ

Say that again

Summary: Oswald is being Oswald. Reader and Zsasz weren't exactly listening.

Shouldn't have asked

Oswald invited reader at his club to talk about Ed and seeks relationship advices. He soon regrets it.

Names

Summary: Oswald is trying to convince Y/N and Zsasz to do the "call your s/o by another name". Worst idea ever.

PLATONIC RIDDLER X READER

Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde

Summary: Ed needs his IQ back but Lee doesn't seem to want to help him. So he tries texting one of is best frenemy.

Oxytocin and endorphin

Summary: Ed needs some comfort after he saw that Lee is still in love with Jim.

PLATONIC RIDDLER X READER X ZSASZ

So you care?

Summary: Riddler wants to know reader's feelings for Zsasz. But his reasons aren't exactly genuine.

Stalking classes

Summary: Ed needs some help to defeat Oswald and ask Victor for his guidance. Maybe he wasn't ready for it though...

RIDDLER X READER X OSWALD (platonic)

Trap in a cage

Summary: remeber when Oswald and Riddler are trapped in their cages? Well, now Y/N is with them and helps Oswald to be a pain in Ed's ass.

COLLABS

VICTOR X Y/N - MAGGIE X JIM

Little Lamb or next fallen angel?

Summary: (long post) Since she came to Gotham, Maggie, a mischievous and cunning young woman, caught the attention of Y/N and Jim Gordon. Which of the dark or the white side will win Maggie's allegence?

Girl time

Summary: (long post) Maggie is having a shitty day and her relationship with Jim is still pretty bad. Fortunately or not, Y/N decided to visit her at her flower shop and tried to boost her mood. But comforting isn't easy, especially when you're a sadistic assassin who tends to like playing with people distress.

A collab with @immortal-velociraptor and her lovely OC Maggie 🤩😍

GOTHAM ON CRACK

Small texts between Y/N and the main cast of the series. Big insanity, little to no sense, a bit of humor.

Relationship goal Zsasz x reader - NEW -

Toss a coin to your killer Jim Gordon x reader - NEW -

The threat Oswald x reader - NEW -

Riddle me this ep.6516 Riddler x reader 

Best frenemy Oswald x reader

Trainning Selina x reader 

Good egg Victor Zsasz x reader 

Future Jim Gordon x reader

Education Bruce x reader 

Tell me something I don’t know Oswald x reader

Domesticity ep 5464321 Victor Zsasz x reader

2 simps and a sadist Jonathan x reader x Riddler

Don’t touch anything Oswald x reader x Zsasz 

Need a hand? Victor Zsasz x reader 

The bomb Harvey x reader x Zsasz

What time is it?! Riddler x reader

Tell me something I don't know Riddler x reader

Biggest fear Scarecrow x reader

Surprise Barbara x reader

Disconnected Barbara x reader

The dog Oswald x reader

Costume Jerome x reader

Game Harvey x reader x Oswald

What do you want Zsasz x reader

The scale Oswald x Zsasz

Bazooka Jim x reader

Grenade Oswald x Ed

The bill Barbara x reader

Priorities Jim x reader

That thing Zsasz x reader

Period Oswald x Zsasz

Scorned women Jim x reader

The ring Wendell x reader x Zsasz

White rabbit Tetch x reader

Halloween Ed x reader

Bon appétit Zsasz x reader

Hypothetically speaking Ed x reader

Matching tie Zsasz x reader x Jim

SUPRISE Scarecrow x reader

Something I don't know Oswald x reader

Something I don't know Jim x reader

A bit Strange Dr Strange x reader

Teletubbies Zsasz x reader x Jim

Something in common Barbara x reader

Fortune teller Bruce x reader

First degree Ed x reader

Warning shots Zsasz x reader

Frog in a blender Ed x reader

Pizza delivery OC x reader

Fanfiction Jim x reader x Zsasz

Shopping spree Zsasz x reader

Memes Ed x reader

Relationship goal Zsasz x reader

Do the math Barbara x reader

Spicy meeting Zsasz x reader

Weird dream Zsasz x reader

Here for Gilzean Jim x reader x Zsasz

No fighting Oswald, Zsasz, Butch, reader

Ultimate boss Oswald x reader x Zsasz

Self derision Zsasz x reader

Statue Owald x reader

Let me spoil you Zsasz x reader

Game of Memes Oswald x reader

The Godfather Sofia x reader x Carmine x Zsasz

I said no dogs Zsasz x reader

QED Riddler x reader

Gotham Memes

 Good old times Jim Gordon x reader

A pirate’s life for me Alfred x reader

Matchmaker Barbara x reader

MMORPGotham Jim Gordon x reader

Objection Jim Gordon x reader

Pax Penguina 

Phobias Zsasz x reader

That’s strange Riddler x reader

What is love Zsasz x reader

Gypsy witchcraft Jim x reader

Shopping trip Zsasz x reader

All play and no work Zsasz x reader

Who’s the doc? Jim Gordon x reader

What do you know about children Oswald x reader

Don’t bang the librarian Riddler x reader

Assassin’s crip Zsasz x reader

[batmanrogues-scenarios]

Masterlist 3

Fluff

Big Vigilante S/O Being Gentle With Them : DS, MM

Metal Head S/O : DS, MM

Witchy S/O Doing Tarot : DS, MM

Crush Giving Them Cute Name in Phone : Riddler, Scarecrow, PI, MrF

Crush Rogue Is Out of the Costume : Scarecrow, MrF, Joker, Catwoman

Sleep Walking S/O : Scarecrow, Riddler, BM, MrF

S/O Being Amazing With Traps : Arkham! KC, Joker, Penguin

S/O Just Shows When Called : Scarecrow, BM, MrF, MH

S/O Proposing : MH, Scarecrow

S/O Insults Back for the Rogue: DS, Joker

Gifts for/from Rogues : All

Music Meister with S/O Making Musical References

Actor S/O Being Slasher in New Movie : DS, TF

Intimidating Gothic S/O : MH, MM

S/O Never Having Happy Christmas Before : DS, MM

S/O Wanting 50 Squish Mellows : DS

Kiss Under Mistletoe: DS, MM

Crush Vigilante Immune to Their Effects : Scarecrow, MM, PI

S/O Having Night Live : DS, MM

S/O Has Creative but Weird Solutions: Scarecrow (GN, Arkham)

Arkhamverse Scarecrow x S/O with Thermorecuration Problem

Mad Hatter x Wonderland Enthusiast

Wonderland Enthusiast Asking Jervis Out

MH and S/O Going To Costume Party, Other Rogue Wears Alice Costume

Reader Dressed as Alice Kidnaps Jervis

S/O Often Praising MH

S/O With Crackhead Energy : GS

S/O Being Cyborg : MH,.MM

MM Finding Out Ghost in His Hideout

S/O Being Captain Marvel: Arkham!DS, TF

S/O Just Baking at 1am : DS, Lego!Joker

S/O Being Fashion Disaster: DS, MM

Getting in a Relationship While in Civilian Break to Find Out New Rogue is S/O : DS, MM

Cryptic S/O : Scarecrow, Riddler, Penguin, Poison Ivy

S/O Being from Zombie Apocalypse : Arkham! TF, Penguin,PS

S/O Frauding IRS : Joker, BM, Penguin, PS

S/O Wearing Mustache Nose Piercing: Unburied!Riddler, Joker, MH,PI

Harley and Bumper Cars

Not Sure/Mix

Uncanny Valley S/O : Joker, Scarecrow, Riddler

Another Dimension MM Dating Their Daughter: Riddler, Scarecrow, TF

Rogues Experiencing Period : Riddler, TF, BM, MH

S/O Who Hibernates : MrF, MH, PI

S/O Resurrecting Because They Kicked Devil in the Balls : Arkham!: Anarky, Joker, HQ, Scarecrow

Crush Henchperson Who Can See Ghosts : MB, HQ, Scarecrow

Meeting Man Eating Siren: Arkham!KC, Scarecrow, MM

S/O Having Firepowers and Loving Fire: MrF, BM, Joker, Arkham!Copperhead

Past Best Friend Ending Up as a Hero : Scarecrow, UN Riddler, Arkham Anarky, Twojar Kiteman

S/O Using Spine of First Victim as Pitching Wedge : Arkham! KC, Scarecrow, BM, PI

Vigilante Flipping Script : DS, MM

Finding Posirive Pregnancy Test: MrF,MH, TF, MM

Comedic

Condiment King in Poly Relationship

Reaction to Scarecrow Saying Toxin Needs LSD : Riddler, HQ, MH, PI

S/O Saying Most Out of Context Insults : Arkhamverse! :Riddler, MH, Zsasz, KC;

S/O Doing These Threats (up, same rogues)

S/O Mistaking Them for IRS : Anarky, Copperhead, Bane (Arkhamverse)

"Can I make make meat taboocan out of them?": Arkham!GS,

Taboocan 2: Copperhead, TF, Joker

Kidnapped Y/N Just Chilling : GS, MH

Platonic/Singular

Friend Realizing They're Gay : Riddler, HQ, Catwoman, MM

Arkham Guard Friend : Scarecrow, MH, TF, Joker

Friend Being Too Much Into Daydreaming : MH, Scarecrow, HQ, MrF

Magical Sib Getting Mortal : Scarecrow, BM, HQ

Friend Not Knowing how to express Emotions: Scarecrow, MH, MrF, MM

Friend Wanting Nuke as a Kid : BM, Riddler, TF, Scarecrow

Sidekick/Kid being Ex-Robin: DS, TF

Robotic Protege Sib : Riddler, MH, Penguin

Friend Who is Neurodiverged : Scarecrow, MrF, Catwoman

Rogue Finding Kid with Batman Backstory: Catwoman, MrF, MH

Young Vigilante with Venom like Powers : BM, Scarecrow, PI, Joker

Best Christian Tree : MM, MH, PI

Seeing Cryptid : BM, Riddler, Scarecrow, TF

Friend Being Animal Magnet: HQ, MH, Catwoman, Scarecrow

Getting Scarecrow for Secret Santa : Riddler, MM, HQ, MH

How they Handle Blizzard : DS, MM

With Willing Person as Subject : MH, Scarecrow

Mr Freeze Meets Orphan Kid with Ice Powers

DS + MM Snowed Together

Drinking Out of Scarecrow Toxinated Cup: HQ, Riddler, Penguin, TF

Reaction to Ed Becoming Detective: Scarecrow, MH,MM

Reacting to Crane Being Caught by Mystery Gang : Riddler, MH, MM

DS Getting Muscular Without Noticing

Penguin Getting Growth Spurt

Friend Who is Ghost Pirate: HQ, MH, BTAS!Clayface

Dork Squad + MM Living Together

Magician Putting on a Mask: BM, HQ, Scarecrow

Art

Soda Queen and Milk Man

NSFW

Make me, Sexy Outfits BM

S/O Talking in Underwear Casually : MH, Scarecrow

Scarecrow in Lingere +18

MM First Time With S/O

[lunchtiger]

I really don't know that much about DC aside from what I've seen in DCAU, a few Batman stories, and what I learn from everyone posting on Tumblr, and that was enough for me to wake up bleary-eyed but with a clarity of thought previously unknown:

Batman's Rogues need the Batfam.

This isn't just about the weird tensions between Batman and his villains, it's about play. The Bats are completely necessary for most of the villains to be able to... be. With the exception of Duke, no one is a meta, and many of the Gotham Rogue's manias and compulsions and needs only work as long as the other party will even entertain playing by their rules.

Are the Kents in town? Everyone packs up their plans and nurses their favourite drink at the Stacked Deck. It's no fun to make schemes and play with someone if they can just X-ray vision the plot device or just bash through your carefully constructed labyrinth.

Are the Speedsters local? There is now a crowd of costumed goobers clamoring over each other at the GCPD trying to get the desk sergeant to put them in lockup. Jim Gordon is absolutely flabbergasted and upset at this development because this isn't the routine.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Minnesota:

*MIDI Gray Ghost theme plays* "Bruce Wayne speaking, may I ask who's calling?" *conversational noise and laughter of the Bat fam in the background*

"Bats, baby, it's the Joker- you gotta come back! We can't take it anymore! these "substitute heroes" are driving us absolutely nuts around here!"

"How did you get this number?"

"Oh who cares about that, you gotta believe me- things are worse than ever here, Bats! Hang on a second- Impulse! Impulse get down from there right now you little gremlin- Ed's so depressed he's gone back to the 2.99 crossword puzzle books, Bruce! Clayface has been just absolutely haunting Open Mic night at the Deck-"

"Hey Mister uh, Joker sir"

"Superboy, what do you want, can't you see I'm on the phone-"

"Me n' Wonder Girl were playing catch with Harley and Wonder Girl threw a long pass and I kinda... crashed into your Batman shrine and I accidentally broke your limited edition Batman statue thing-"

Joker, screaming into the phone, "BAAAAAATS, COME BACK, WE NEED YOUUUUU"

"Well, I'm awfully sorry to hear that, Mr.... Joker was it? But I'm afraid I'm unavailable for the next two weeks, *chuckle* I'm actually not even supposed to be on the phone right now- Alfred, I'm on the phone, Alfred, Alfr-"

*tussling noises*

"Hello, I'm afraid Master Bruce had to step away from the phone, but in the meantime until he returns to Gotham from some much-needed rest, I've taken the liberty of requesting his colleagues assistance in this matter."

"Please let it be Green Arrow-"

"Masters Blue Beetle and Booster Gold are on their way to Gotham presently, and should be able to help you with your situation. If you need any further assistance, kindly direct your correspondence to the Justice League for the time being. The Masters and Mistresses are not to be disturbed while on vacation, sir, and let me assure you, that were they to need to end their holiday prematurely, I would deal with that transgression permanently. Good day, sir."

Later on, at the Stacked Deck:

"So?"

"No dice, friends. The Bats won't be back for two whole weeks."

*collective groans from across the bar from the absolute most bored supercriminals*

"Also, maybe don't fuck with the butler. Just sayin'"

[caramel-clowns]

I showed my sister (who has never watched gotham) a few gotham characters ABOUT JEROME: ”he looks like a strange mixture of frog and rat” “why does he look like that?” “he looks stupid” ABOUT ED: I showed her a gif of the “me?” scene where he does the gay hand, she went “yknow what I dont even need to see anymore of him he’s very gay” + “he walks with his hips, they did the riddler justice, unlike the new batman movie” “the way he’s dragging that sword is gay” ABOUT JEREMIAH: I showed her a picture, she stared at my phone for a bit, followed by “.....that is....fruity” “that man is NOT straight” “Harley Quinn im sorry but he is NOT after you, look at him”

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Chapter 5: Then Let The Games Begin

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Soooo, the Batfam is panicking, Gotham's confused as to why Iron Man is flying over Gotham like a madman, and Maria is with two of Gotham's Sirens (but only Ivy and Harley know this) having a wonderful time playing with Bud and Lou.

Let's start with the Sirens.

Harley is watching over Maria and Tikki as they sleep with Bud and Lou, Ivy walkes over to sit next to Harley, handing her a cup of tea.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" - Ivy

"She has some sort of trauma, has class issues... and handles more than she should, but still does everythin', on top of bein' a hero. She's been through some sh-t Pam." Yeah Harley may have found out Maria's a hero (if the tiny god and magic were anything to go by).

"Is she alone?" - Ivy

"No, thankfully, she has supportive parents, and friends that aren't little sh-ts. I think they're also heroes, she also has a lot, and I a mean A LOT of pent up emotions, she doesn't show anythin' negative, only positive things. She seems to shrink in on herself if she thinks she does somethin' wrong. Pam, we both know there's a limit to how much crap a person can take before they snap, and she's such a sweet kid. There has to be somethin' we can do to help her Ives." Ok she found out alot, but in Marias' defense, they have trustworthy souls, and they were the only other people (besides her friends) that she talked to about it, yes she had her Maman and Uncle to talk about hero stuff, but for the stuff her class does, she only ever vented (without being negative) to her friends.

"Her class is visiting the Botanical Gardens in three days, and it's a 2 part tour, so we can see just what's going on. If it's bad then we scare them a bit, if it's bad bad... they can handle a few slightly poisonous plants right?" - Ivy

"God I love the way ya think Ives, do ya think she can stay with us? I mean look at how cute she is with Bud and Lou... Oh my god, she's cuddlin' dem, and ya gave her a flower crown, how'd I miss that?! Where's the camera?"

Harley took a picture to remind her of this wonderful moment. As Ivy and Harley looked at the picture, they both promised to keep Maria safe, and maybe become sorta kinda-ish parents to her while she's in Gotham.

•—–·Now back to the Bat-Chaos Bat-Cave·–—•

Tim took over the chair and was now searching the possible locations with Jarvis, Damian was sitting on a different chair, trying to act cool, but he wouldn't stop looking over at Tim, to see his progress. Bruce was talking over the comms with Tony. Dick and Jason, weren't helping (they kept feeding each other worse and worse ideas of what could have happened to Maria). Then they heard Jarvis speak.

"I have found the most likely area Ms. Dupain-Cheng would be in. Her phone died about 56 blocks away from her hotel, if we don't count kidnapping, or murder, she would have thought about asking for directions, but may have decided not to considering the city she is in. So that leaves us with a possible 15-25 mile radius from her last known location. I think it best to divide into groups of two, have Oracle stay and update you if anything on security, and or traffic cameras happens. Bruce will be with Tony, Dick will go with Tim, and Jason will go with Damain to search within the area. Stephanie and Cassandra will search around a 5 mile radius near Wayne hotel." as Jarvis continued to explain the other details, the Batfam began to suit up, Batman met up with Iron Man, and they took the North area, Nightwing and Red Robin took the East area, while Red Hood and Robin searched the South. Steph and Cass were on foot in civilian clothes, searching the West area they were assigned.

They searched for the whole day, and came up with nothing. Until Oracle saw a video from a traffic cam around 9pm, 15 blocks away from where her phone died. She called it in and everyone went back to the cave. Once everyone was at the Bat-Computer, Oracle pressed play, the cameras didn't have sound, and it wasn't close enough to see if she was ok.

They watched as she went to an overgrown parking lot and sat down. She was looking down at the ground, and that's when they spotted two figures round the corner and spot her. They watched as the two figures approach Maria, and saw the startled reaction she had. They realized it was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy that were talking to her, then they saw Maria collapse. They watched as Harley made sure she was ok, looking over to Ivy before looking back to Maria and picking her up. The last thing they saw, was Maria being carried away by two of Gothams' most dangerous rouges, but now they knew where to look next.

•—–· Back to Ivy and Harley ·–—•

Harley continued to take adorable pictures of the children.

"God, they're so f-ckin' cute!" - Harley for the 20th time

As Ivy continued to watch while caring for her plants, Catwoman walked in.

"Hey girls, got the stuff for movie night, so what are we- Holy mother of cats! He adopted another f-cking child didn't he! Where the hell does he keep finding them?! 7 was ment to be the god DAMN LIMIT!!!" - Catwoman

Maria jumped at the sudden shouting and may have accidentally summoned a yo-yo (one made useing creation magic and protection magic) before saying.

"Tikki where's the akuma?! How long was I out?! Forget it Tikki spot-" she then realized she wasn't in Paris, and seeing a new face, she also realized she just spilled her secret to another person within the same day... kinda

"Fffffffffffudge sunday that fell on the pavement!" - Maria shouted in baker profanities

"That's not how ya curse sweetheart. It should go more like-" Harley was cut off by a vine Ivy had summoned.

"Harley, cursing makes the plants sad, you know this." - Ivy said removing the vine

Harley just walked over to Maria and whipsered it in her ear.

"You're supposed to say it more like this, ' ..... .... ... .. ....... .. ... .....' ok?" - Harley ended with a big smile

"... I will never see this world in the same frickin' light ever again." - Maria

"ehh close enough." - Harley

"Can someone please tell me, WTH is going on here, on our special girls day off?!" - Catwoman

"She is a new member of the Sirens as of today, and as a member, she's unda our protection, so effective immediately." - Harley

"Cool." - Maria

"Harley." - Ivy

"Wut... first things first, if she is going to join, she needs to be very flexible, know how to fight, and be incredibly intelligent." - Catwoman

"She beat Ed's @ss with a gun pointed at her, and solved every riddle with ease, so I'm positive she'll be an amazin' addition to the team." - Harley

'God she sounds like a new mother now' "But we don't know how good her flexibility is." - Catwoman

"I know, hey Maria, ya wanna do some tricks with me, of course we need to stretch first, but do ya wanna give it a go?" - Harley

"Sure." - Maria

Ivy and Catwoman sat down on a couch a few feet away from where Maria and Harley stood in the empty part of the building. They started out with stretches, and to Catwoman's surprise (and Harley's delight) Maria copied Harleys streches perfectly.

"Ok, now that that's done, we'll start with some cartwheels, then move on to flips, then handsprings and so on." - Harley

Maria gave Harley a nod... and they were off... literally, Harley did a cartwheel into a handspring, and a few backflips, Maria executed it flawlessly. Harley did some more complicated gymnastics tricks, and Maria did it, Harley did triple backflips going into a cartwheel, into a summersault, and Maria did that perfectly as well. This went on until both Harley and Maria were slightly out of breath, both having massive smiles on their faces.

"Ives, please let her join, she's like a mini me." - Harley then hugged Maria and they somehow both tripled in cuteness as they both did puppy (or Puss In Boots style) eyes at Catwoman and Ivy.

"Sure Harley." - Ivy said walking over to give Harley a small kiss on the cheek.

"Okay... but she doesn't have a costume yet, and she still has to think of a name for herself." - Catwoman

"Is a mouse good, like a mouse themed costume, that or a Turtle themed one. What do you think Harley?" - Maria

"Mmmm, I like that with the mouse you can always toy with Cat, ya know, cat an' mouse stuff, turtle seems... weird even fawh Gotham, so personally I would pick mouse, just because of the cheesy jokes you could do." - Harley

"Very funny, ok then, give me a moment."  Maria then reached out her hand, her eyes then started to glow an icy blue, and a small portal opened in front of her, she reached in and pulled out a small pendant necklace. After she put it on a small mouce appeared and greated itself, Marias' eyes going back to normal after closing the portal.

"Hello I'm Mullo, nice to meet you all."

"Omg omg omg, It's soooo f-ckin' CUTE!" - Harley

"Best to assume all of them are extremely cute Harls." - Ivy

"What the Hell did I miss in the week I was gone?!" - Catwoman

"Ehh, not much, oh but Iron Man did fly aroun' Gotham a few times earlier this mornin' like a madman." - Harley

"Oh sh-t." - Maria

"Maria are ya ok? That was ya first official proper curse in my presence." Harley said looking over to the girl.

"He's gonna kill me." - Maria

"Wait, what do you mean Marigold?" - Ivy

"... He's my Uncle, and I never got to text him I was ok, since my phone died before I met you." - Maria

"Hey, I'm sure he'll understand, now what are we watchin'?" - Harley

"I think we have more important matters other than movies at the moment!" - Catwoman

"Ok, Me Myself and Irene it is." - Harley

"No! You basically kidnapped Iron Mans' NIECE!!!" - Catwoman

"Technically, she fainted and us bein' the good Gothamites we are, decided to take her with us, to make sure she was a-okay." - Harley

"I'm ganna need more than just a six pack of soda to get me through this... Just put the movie on already." - Catwoman

Catwoman sat at the far left end of the couch, next to her sat Ivy, then Maria, and then Harley, Bud and Lou by their feet. All of them sharing one big blanket (Becuase if Iron Man did show up, or any of the birds, then Maria was in a protective burrito and they may not see her right away) and they started the movie.

•—–·–—•

"Oh god, the poor cow." - Maria

.........

"Hahahaha, he stuck a whole f-ckin' chicken head in that guys @ss" - Harley

"The poor chicken." - Maria

"Maria you don't want to see this part." - Ivy then lightly covered her eyes for the ehem, chicken extraction.

.........

"Anyone up for another movie?" - Harley

"That depends." - Ivy

"Any suggestions Cat?" - Harley looked across to the other end of the couch to see Catwoman already sleeping.

"She took her cat-nap already? Seriously?" - Harley

"... What about Pirates of The Caribbean?" - Maria

"I'm good with that." - Ivy

And they started the next movie, Maria was happy, it felt like when her maman and papa would sleep with her when she made a pillow fort. It was a loving atmosphere, it felt safe, and nothing could ruin it. Marias' eyes became heavy, and she leaned her head on Harleys' shoulder, falling asleep after a few minutes.

Ivy paused the move looking over to see both Harley and Maria sleeping, soon Ivy also fell asleep in the comfortable silence.

…………………………

Around an hour later Maria woke up in a panic, she had a nightmare, and kept looking around frantically for someone with tears running down her face.

"What's the matter hun?" - Harley said looking around to see if someone had gotten in. When she looked back at Maria she saw that she was crying.

"What happened?" Harley asked in a kind voice that was filled with motherly love.

"I, just *hic* had a bad dream that's *hic* all, I'm fine." - Maira said trying to wipe the tears away.

"You're ok, I promise nothin's goin' to happen to ya as long as Ivy and I are here, ok hun?" - Harley hugged Maria, and she could feel the girl let out a few more sobs, and quick breathes.

"Thanks Maman." Maria didn't even realize what she had said, it just felt natural for her to say it.

"You're welcome hun." 'Omg I'm gonna cry, she called me maman!' Harley rubbed small circles over Marias' back, and began humming until she fell asleep, she continued to hug Maria until she also fell asleep.

•—–· Back to the Chaos Bat-Cave ·–—•

"What do you mean she's with two of Gotham City's Sirens?!" - Tony

"Tony, calm down, I'll call Selina, she can talk to them and get this all sorted out." - Bruce

"Your fiancee is a Gotham Siren too?! Why didn't you tell me?!" - Tony

"Why isn't she picking up? And unlike some people, this family doesn't like outing our secret identities... on live TV." - Bruce

"Oh well excuse me for not keeping my secret identity a SECRET!" - Tony

"I'll try calling her one more time." - Bruce

"Bruce, it's 3am. Who in their right mind ever stays up this late.... aside from this family." - Tim with a giant coffee mug in hand.

"... I'll just call her one more time." Bruce then connected it to the Bat-Computer so everyone could hear.

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Catwoman's phone is ringing like crazy, waking everyone up, including a tired, annoyed, and confused Selina.

"Wth does he want at 3 in the morning?!" - Selina

"Just answer it so we can keep sleepin'." - Harley still hugging Maria

"I'm putting it on speaker, so you lot can testify against his @ss in court, for disturbing the peace."

•—–· Over to Batsy ·–—•

"Selina I need to ask-"

"WHAT THE F-CKING HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT A GOOD NIGHTS REST!" - Selina

"Oooooh, she sounds pissed Bruce." - Jason

"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but we need to find a girl that looks just like every single one of my other kids." - Bruce

"Bruce... I thought we agreed that 7 kids was. the. f-cking. limit." - Selina

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Selina looked over to Maria before muting the speaker.

"Do you want them to know you're here Kitten?" - Selina

"... I'm tired, I haven't had coffee, I have no filter, so f-ck it, act like you never saw me today, and let them drown in chaos. " - Maria

"I think I like filter less Maria." - Harley

"Okay." Selina shrugged her shoulders and then un-muted her phone, putting it back on speaker mode.

"Where was she last seen?" - Selina

"She was last seen with Harley and Poison Ivy, I want you to see if she's still with them." - Bruce

Selina looked over to Maria and Harley, both of them shook their heads with mischievous grins.

"I've been with them all day, and I haven't once seen a girl that looks like your kids. Now can I go back to sleep, and forget this ever happened?" - Selina

"WHERE IS MY NIECE!!!" - Tony

"Oh, hey Tony, didn't know you were there, don't know who, or where your niece is, but good luck trying to find her. Oh and Bruce, I'm shutting my phone off so you don't keep calling till the butt crack of dawn. And congrats it's now 4am. you owe me a lunch date, uh-ba-bye." Selina then hung up her phone and turned it off.

"That went pretty well if you ask me, now I'm going back to sleep." - Selina

•—–· Back to Batsy ·–—•

The room was silent for a few minutes before Jason spoke up.

"Does that mean that Pixiepop ran away and is even more lost now?!" - Jason

"Oh god, what do we do, what if she got hurt?!" - Dick

"What if she got kidnapped?!" - Jason

"What if she's with a big time Gotham Villain?!" - Dick

"... What if she got more coffee?" - Tim

"Oh Hell No" - Jason/Dick

"... Lets all go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll head over to their base and double check. She could've just said that because I called her at 3am." - Bruce

"But my niece is still out there!" - Tony

"You're going to sleep Tony." - Pepper then dragged Tony to his room.

•—–· Back to Maria ·–—•

Selina went to a different part of the building, where Maria assumed the bedrooms were. Ivy had gone to the greenhouse to be with the plants, and now it was just her and Harley left on the couch, and she couldn't sleep.

"... Harley?" - Maria

"Yeah hun?" - Harley

"I can't sleep." - Maria

"Well, watcha wanna do till ya get tired?" Harley asked sitting up a little straighter to get a better look at Maria.

Maria gave a sly smile, and looked Harley in the eyes "Want to go free-running on the rooftops?"

"... Alright, but lets get some coffee, and a snack in us first." - Harley gave her a side hug, before getting up to go make the coffee, and grab some snacks.

After they had their coffee, they climbed to the roof of the base. Harley was in her outfit, bat in hand and ready to do some bonding.

"So, how does ya outfit work?" - Harley

"Like so, ready Mullo?" - Maria

"Yes Maria" - Mullo

"Ok, Mullo, Get Squeaky!" A bright light flashes, and when Harley could see again, Maria was in a dark gray suit, wearing black knee high boots, with a strip of pink at the knee, and black elbow length gloves with the same pink strip at her elbow. Her mask was a slightly lighter gray on the top part, and pink on the bottom. Her hair was pulled into two buns with pink ribbons that faded to gray, and to black at the very tip. Her jump rope around her waist forming a tail going just below the back of her knees.

"Just when I think ya can't get any more adorable. So what should I call ya?" - Harley

"You can call me Multimouse." - Maria

Soon they were racing and doing tricks off different roofs, they were really enjoying themselves. From one of the roofs they heard a commotion in one of the alleys, when they looked down they saw a man holding a woman at gunpoint.

"Not good, seems like he's got issues, probably lost his lover, most likely has additions to drugs and alcohol, and seems to be a little tipsy." - Harley

"I've got a plan." - Multimouse

…………

Multimouse droped a little way behind the guy, grabbing his attention while Harley got the lady to safety.

"You know there's a help center two blocks from here that would be more than willing to help you." - Multimouse

The crook just raised his gun to her trying to keep it steady as he spoke.

"Give me all your money little girl, or else I'll hurt you."

"1. That's not how you hold a gun. 2. That is no way to treat any girl. and 3. Instead of money, I'll give you my jump rope." - Multimouse

"Why the hell would I want your jump rope, that thing looks worthless." the crook lowered his guard enough as Multimouse pretended to hand over her jump rope, only to use it in a quick motion to dismarm the man, as Harley promptly knocked him out with one swing.

"Lets neva have ya at gunpoint again, okay hun? I'm afraid my heart can't take it." - Harley said while tying the crook to a lamppost.

"Sorry, but it was the best idea I could come up with at the moment, besides, any guy with a gun would feel like they have the upper hand if they're facing a random little girl with a jump rope, rather than Gothams' Harley Quinn with a bat." - Multimouse

"Sadly I'm just too popular with the kiddos on the street." - Harley

…………

They continued to stop a few more muggers on the way back to the base, and when they got back they peaked around the corner to see the whole Batfam plus Iron Man talking with Ivy and Selina.

"How much you want to bet we can get back out before they see us?" - Whispering Multimouse

"... Lets try hidin' in the kitchen." - Whispering Harley

As they tried to sneak by (still in their costumes) Selina just walks over and draggs them to the group.

"Here, now let me sleep!" - Selina

"Dang it Selina we wanted tah see just how long we could hide out in the kitchen!" - Harley

Selina did a double take now realizing they both went out.

"... You didn't." - Selina

"We wanted tah go free-runnin'! So what?" - Harley

"She could've gotten hurt Harls." - Ivy

"My suits magic, I am invulnerable to bullets, normal magic, swords, knifes, anything staby staby, and I can withstand any temperature in it." Multimouse said with a slight pout.

"Hold up, is she a magical girl?" - Red Hood in the background

When Selina let go both Harley and Multimouse went behind Ivy for protection.

"We can still make a run for it." - Harley whispered to Multimouse

"... Ok, I'll meet you on the roof." - Whispering Multimouse

Harley gave a nod as she slowly inched her wasy closer to the door that lead to the roof, as she saw Iron Man approach Multimouse.

"Please get out of your suit, we need to talk about why you're here-" - Iron Man

"Multitute!" - Multimouse

Harley then saw Multimouse shrink into dozens of tiny little versions of herself as her clones spread out in all directions, one of which was heading right for her.

"Wth, you never told us she could use magic!" - Red Robin

Harley picked her up, and slipped through the door without anyone noticing.

"That was great, but how do ya get back tuh normal size?" - Harley

"Simple, I just merge back with my clones." As she said this, all her clones came back, and she merged with herself, becoming normal sized again.

"Where to?" - Multimouse

………… So now The Batfam is trying to find many long gone Mini-Multimouses, and Harley seems to have disappeared with her. Harley and Multimouse are now running over the roofs, heading for Wayne Manor.

"So why are we going to Wayne Manor?" - Multimouse

"Because, Batsy will neva think of lookin' for us at his own home, at least not fawh a little while." - Harley

When they arrived at the Manor, Multimouse de-transformed as Harley knocked on the door.

"Ms. Quinn, Ms. Maria, pleasure to see you here, please come in." - Alfred

"Are any of the bat-birds here?" - Harley

"Ms. Barbara, Ms. Stephanie, and Ms. Cassandra are the only ones here at the moment." - Alfred

"Do ya think you can keep us bein' here a secret from Batsy?" - Harley

"Harley? What are you doing here with Maria?" - Barbara

"It seems that Ms. Harley and Ms. Maria are now playing hide and seek with the rest of the family." - Alfred

"Did someone say hide and seek?" - Steph

"Yes, so could we maybe try and keep this a secret from everyone else, please?" - Maria

"Sure, it was starting to get boring around here. We can all hide in the living room no one ever use. Barbara you show them the way, I'll get the food/drinks and boardgames." - Steph

"Is this alright with you Alfred?" Maria

"It's all right Ms. Maria, you can hide out in the old living room." - Alfred

"Thanks Alfie, ya the best." - Harley

"Thank you Alfred." - Maria

"Ok then, follow me." - Barbara

…………

In the old living room, Harley, Maria, Barbara, Steph, and Cass began to formulate a plan.

"Ok, so the best way for them to never find you is to have your phone off, stay away from any and all cameras, and show your face to no one." - Steph

"So, do you have anything in mind that you might want to do?" - Barbara

"Can we put them on a wild goose chase?" - Maria

Cass nodded to Marias' suggestion approvingly.

"I can hack a few traffic cams to help with that." - Barbara

"We can also throw in some useless hints, to throw dem even further off our scent." - Harley

"Good idea Harley." - Barbara

"Thanks, but how long do ya think we should make it last?" - Harley

"As long as Maria wants it to." - Barbara

"Then let the games begin." - Maria.

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Chapter 5 complete. Hope everyone is stayin' safe, Rockin' those Positive Vibes, and havin' an absolutely wonderful day. BUG-OUT 🐞💮🐞

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Tag List〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

1st Place★: @animegirlweeb ☕ , 2nd Place★: @jumpingjoy82, 3rd Place★: @zalladane, 4th Place★: @jayjayspixiepop, 5th Place★: @arty-shadow-morningstar, 6th Place★: @smol-book-nerd, 7th Place★: @irontimetravelflower, 8th Place★: @fandom-trapped-03, 9th Place★: @meme991001, 10th Place★: @buginetye, 11th Place★: @blackroserelina, 12th Place★: @jessigurl-design, 13th Place★: @adrestar, 14th Place★: @moon5608, 15th Place★: @little-bluestar, 17th Place★: @myazael, 18th Place★: @our-preciousss, 19th Place★: @wolf2118, 20th Place★: @nyx-in-line, 21st Place★: @kking13, 22nd Place★: @lunerlover2024, 23rd Place★: @moonlightstar64, 24th Place★: @corporeal-terrestrial, 25th Place★: @kashlyn, 26th Place★: @tbehartoo, 27th Place★: @heart-charming, 28th Place★: @solangelo252, 29th Place★: @t1dwarrior-of-earth, 30th Place★: @lady-phoenix-of-tardis, @lupagrimm

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

DC Universe Masterlist

Back to the main Masterlist

Batsis

Baby-batsis / Toddler-batsis stories are bold

Headcanons

Batsis being babysat by aunt Harley and aunt Pam

Being a ghost that ‘haunts’ the manor would include

The Batfam reacting to Batsis having the Meta-gene

Batsis!reader x Roy Harper

The Batfam reacting to Batsis dating Roy Harper…

Asian!Batsis

Lost, Found and Consequences (toddler!batsis)

Model!Batsis

ADHD!Batsis

Half!Cat!Batsis

Batsis x Supergirl

The next CEO 

Being the oldest sibling

Sneaky!Batsis

Jon Kent x batsis!reader

Healer!Batsis

Middle eastern!Batsis

Aftermath (Angst)

Starstruck Summary: Batsis enters her first year of high school and her brothers don’t like the idea of her being asked out 

OneShots

Confusion Summary: Batsis has her first kiss, which is followed by a lot of confusion

We have a problem (x Young Justice) Summary: After a mission takes an unexpected turn you’re welcomed by some strange consequences

You punch like a girl (Toddler!batsis) Summary: young!Batsis defends the girls in her school against a bully

It’s gonna be okay Summary: You (Batsis) have a bad feeling about a mission and when you get there you get confronted with your brothers‘ worst fears

Ukhti Summary: When both you and Damian are nowhere to be found on a rainy day, your other brothers conspire about what could’ve happened, but they’re in for a surprise.

Jelly Bean (toddler!Batsis) Summary: (Don’t wanna spoil)

Independence Summary: In which Batsis is very independent, but the family wants her back in the manor…Angst and Fluff ensue.

Changes Summary: Your family notices that you start to change. When you deny the changes they start to investigate… What they find doesn’t make them happy.

Moonflower Summary: It was a rather usual evening for you, a Gala, trying to avoid the mayor, getting kidnapped- what more could you want from your night?

Masquerade (Moonflower pt 2) Summary: When the Riddler keeps ghosting around in your mind you know that you have to do something about it, that you couldn’t keep on harbouring feelings for him, so you put on your mask and make your way to find a distraction, but sometimes the things we see when we wear masks are not the things we expect…

Magical/Misery/Massacre (Moonflower pt 3) Summary: You and Ed are at a point in your realtionship were you have to decide what your future will look like… Will it be happy, will it be sad… or will it be something else entirely… find out in this Chose your own ending story where you can decide which ending you and Edward get…

Pretty hair (Toddler!Batsis) Summary: A cute wakeup, a gala ahead and a rather hairy problem. Will Batdad be able to handle it?

A sweet life (baby!batsis) Summary: A little excerpt of a day of baby!batsis lifes and all the sweetness

Pretty Princess  Summay: You and Steph have a plan. That plan includes Damian, a dress and your phones...

Overworked Summay: Your on your way to be the next C.E.O. of Wayne Enterprises, but the road is filled with challenges and a lack of self-care that your family can’t help but worry about (based on this)

Specials

Happy Hallowayne Summary: Read Headcanons and small story-bits about the best Halloween party ever in Wayne manor and all the troubles and all the fluff that comes with it

Preferences

Teach me how to dance (Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Cass, Damian, Steph)

Pregnant!Batsis

Drabble

Copy or Individual Prompt: “I’m (Y/N) Fucking (Y/L/N)”|” Are you proud of me?”

Viral hit Summary: What happens when you accidentaly post a TikTok of you in your suit with Batman in the background?

You clean up nicely Summary: Bruce worries because you are late to a Gala, but when you arrive - in a suit instead of the usual dress- he couldn’t be prouder...

Stress and School are both six letter words Summary: School is a bitch and it’s stressing you out. Lucky for you there’s a family behind you that will always take care of you

Social Media Au

Batsis having a girls night out with her sisters

Being newly adopted into the Wayne family

Batkid!reader (gender-neutral)

Headcanons

DJ!Batkid

Batfam x reader

Headcanons

Mothering the Batfam would include…

The bat-boys in our universe…

Bataunt x Harley Quinn

OneShot

Club ‘Illusion’ Summay: With your hero work taking up most of your time you decide to find an outlet - that outlet turns out to be your own soon to be opened club. On the V.I.P. list for that evening? Two of the most important groups of people in your life. The only problem: they have yet to meet each other, not to mention the little fact that you’ve been keeping not just the club a secret...

Preferences

New Year’s Eve with the Bat Kids… ( Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

Song Pranks on the Batkids… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

You’ve got to be kitten me… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pets, Cuddles and surprised brothers (Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim)

Affection comes in a lot of forms… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Batboys x Cosplayer!reader (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Dying in their arms… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pixie hair cut (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pregnant s/o (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Social Media Au

Song Pranks on the Batkids… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

Batparents

Headcanons

Being Batmom and marring Bruce would include… (part 1)

Being Batmom and pregnant would include…(part 2)

Batmom teaching Dick how to cook…

OneShots

The bedroom down the hall (Angst warning) Summary: After Jason’s death you know it’s time to pack up the things in his room, but will you be able to cope with all the memories and the fact that your son is really dead? (Inspired by “In the bedroom down the hall” from ‘Dear Evan Hansen’)

Magic Mom (finished): -Dick’s arrival (1/5) -Jason’s arrival (2/5) -Jason’s death (3/5) -Tim’s arrival (4/5) -Damian’s arrival (5/5) Summary: Being Batman’s wife was one thing, being a strong magician a whole other thing, now, what happens if you combine those two and add motherhood? Welcome to the life of the Batfam’s very own Magic Mom…

Momma is a badass? Summary: Your Children don’t know about a big part of your past, but when the situation calls for it, they find out, one way or another

Drabble

Content Summary: When you come home, you’re not as happy as Bruce expected. Fluff ensues (but it’s really short)

Dick Grayson

Headcanons

Being Dick Graysons daughter would include

Batmom teaching Dick how to cook…

Dick Grayson x Unkillable!reader

OneShots

Birds ‘n Bees Summary: Dick gets hurt on a mission

Drabble

Misunderstanding upon Misunderstanding Prompt: “And I’m dead”|”Another bad date?”

Social Media Au

Dick’s S/O coming back from a weekend trip with Damian

Jason Todd

Headcanons:

Jason Todd x Stark!reader

Have you met my family? Summary: After you start dating Jason you want to meet his family, but maybe you’re closer to them than you think

OneShots

Private Tutoring Summary: Jason needs some private tutoring and because of Damian, You (who can’t stand Jason) have the job

Do Angels giggle? Summary: A rumour of an angel kidnapping criminals and leading them to a path of justice and Jason is on the suspect’s track. He hasn’t expected to be caught and he surely hasn’t expected what met him there…

Jaybird Summary: One day you meet a boy in dirty clothes and give him food, he becomes your best friend and then he leaves and dies. In his name you start helping others like him. Then you meet a man in a Red Hood.

Drabble

Rise and Shine Summary: You wake Jason up in one of the prettiest ways…

Luckiest thing Summary: On the fourth of July you have a little surprise for your husbands family

Conventional Prompt: “Nothing about us is conventional”|“You scared the shit out of me!”|“I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do.”

Daddy dearest Summary: You’re spending an afternoon with Dick when you’re boyfriend Jason calls you and there is a little misconception...

Pops Summary: When a mysterious Woman arrives at the manor looking for our favorite Butler Jason could’ve sworn it’s love at first sight...

Social Media Au

Imagine being pregnant with Jason’s child and the other bat kids are a bit shocked since you’re only 19

Tim Drake

Drabble

Perfect Moment, frozen in time Summary: Tim is just perfect in your eyes…

Shoulder Piegon Prompt: “That looks like it hurts…”|” You always look beautiful.”

Baby, it’s cold outside Prompt: “You’re freezing, Jesus” | “Sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?”

Social media au

Farmlove Summary:  When Y/N Kent goes back to Smallville to spend some time on her grandparents’ farm alongside her brothers and her aunt, she expects a calm, peaceful time. She gets something else though…

Damian Wayne

Headcanons

Being blind and Damian’s S/O… (Part 1)

Being blind and Damian’s S/O… (Part 2)

Kind and Lovesick… (Slightly Yandere!Damian🔪)

They’ll pay…

Destructive Love (Yandere!Damian🔪)

“I’ll take care of you’ (Yandere!Damian 🔪)

OneShots

Something real Summary: Damian hates the people who attend his father’s Galas and he doesn’t think there’s one real person there, only for him to be surprised…

Time flies by when you’re in love Summary: A timeline of your time with Damian and how you became a couple…

A thing of honour Summary: Keeping your alter ego a secret from Damian was all fun and games, especially since he seemed to hate your superhero persona while loving your “normal” you, but what happens when he finds out about the whole thing in the worst way possible…

All that counts Summary: It was supposed to be a simple go-in-get-out mission, but it quickly got out of hand, Damian finding himself unable to do anything. Now unsure of if you were even alive, his heart is ripping apart. Will you come back to him?

The one that got away Summary: With a mysterious past on your pack you make your way to Wayne manor to find Damian Wayne, only to be faced with our favorite butler and a nice cup of tea…

Smiler Summary: Damian Wayne doesn’t smile. Ever. So when he suddenly starts to do so after reading text messages and receiving calls from an outsider his siblings get suspicious. Shenanigans ensue.

Rescued (Yandere!Damian🔪) Summary: Everything was finally perfect for Damian. His perfect little Darling was so well behaved and finally pregnant like he had always wanted, but now someone unexpected turns up at his door. Someonw who could ruin everything he had worked for...

Reality Check Summary: It was a normal day for you when the sidewalk literally opens up and swallows you whole only to spit you back out into a world that you thought only existed in comics before. There you meet a certain Vigilante and things get more complicated very, very quickly...

The Future Is Now Summary: Your best friend Damian is gone on a mission with the Titans and while you constantly worry, you just want him to come back home save. When your welcomed home after patrol by the team with a clear lack of Damian - instead a man who looks eerily familiar - you were not prepared for your world to be rocked the way it would be...

Drabbles

A what? (Crack) Summary: You have a mission and you’ll even use the dirtiest of tricks to get what you want

Traning Session Prompt: “Your hands are so small!”

Broken Leg and shattered Ego Prompt: “You’re really special to me.”|“No more stupid stunts, [please?]”|“You scared the shit out of me!”

Be with me  Prompt:  "You're gonna get your heart broken"|"I know but I'm at the point where I just want to be loved romantically even if it's fake lol"

What friends are for... Summary: You and your best friend Damian have a deal: No matter how much you fight you’ll never stay angry at each other. The only thing is his family doesn’t know about that deal...

People are gay dude (male!reader) Summary: Damian’s brothers want to find out who Damian is dating only to be surprised

Social Media Au

A mystery to unveil (Masterlist) Summary: After you upload a picture to make sure that every girl in Gotham knows that Damian is yours, it’s his family’s personal mission to find out who that newly found Mystery Girl is…

Welcome to the Gotham Academy Bats (Masterlist)  Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is the head-cheerleader of the Gotham Academy Bats, with her boyfriend Jackson (the captain of the football team) on one side and the mysterious Damian Wayne, who she keeps on getting closer to, on the other. What will happen when things get complicated?

Roy Harper

Headcanons

Batsis!reader x Roy Harper

The Batfam reacting to Batsis dating Roy Harper…

Kara Denvers

Headcanons

Batsis x Supergirl

Jon Kent

OneShots

He doesn’t like you…Or does he? Summary: Jonathan Kent is nice to everyone. But that makes you unable to figure out if he actually liked you or just acted like it. Something has to be done…

Drabble

Confession Prompt: “I’m fucking terrified and I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling that way, okay? I’m scared…”|“I need you…”

Clark Kent

Injustice Yandere!Superman x reader

Oliver Queen

Headcanons

Dating green Arrow would include…

Young Justice

OneShots

We have a problem (x Young Justice) Summary: After a mission takes an unexpected turn you’re welcomed by some strange consequences

Riddler

OneShots

Moonflower Summary: It was a rather usual evening for you, a Gala, trying to avoid the mayor, getting kidnapped- what more could you want from your night?

Masquerade (Moonflower pt 2) Summary: When the Riddler keeps ghosting around in your mind you know that you have to do something about it, that you couldn’t keep on harbouring feelings for him, so you put on your mask and make your way to find a distraction, but sometimes the things we see when we wear masks are not the things we expect…

Magical/Misery/Massacre (Moonflower pt 3) Summary: You and Ed are at a point in your realtionship were you have to decide what your future will look like… Will it be happy, will it be sad… or will it be something else entirely… find out in this Chose your own ending story where you can decide which ending you and Edward get…

Harley Quinn

Headcanons

Bataunt x Harley Quinn

Incorrect Quotes

[crystalkitty1220]

AU of es!IBVS (does that make it an AU of an AU or some kind of sub-AU) where Drew is a changeling but just doesn’t know. Whatever instinctual thing that’s supposed to tell a fae that “hey you’re supposed to be a magical fairy guy” just kinda skipped out on him and so he thinks he’s a completely normal child and that everyone just acts weird around him.

-

(Isaac and Drew’s PE classes are at the same time and at one point they’re both just walking around the track because a lot of the time PE teachers can’t be bothered to actually make sure the students are running. Drew gets bored and starts humming and Isaac with Extra Cool Vampire Hearing™ hears it and is like)

Isaac: “Wow that’s a great song, it’s so pretty.”

Drew: “Oh, I didn’t even know you could hear it.”

Isaac: “I have very good hearing. Can you keep humming the song?”

Drew: “Uh sure I guess..” *continues humming*

Drew, after a while: “Are you okay? You look kinda tired.”

Isaac: “Oh I’m fine. I’m better than okay, actually. Please continue.”

Drew: “Actually I don’t think I will. You should go to the nurse.”

Isaac: “Okay.” *immediately starts walking towards the school building without even asking his teacher if he could visit the nurse*

Drew: “Yeah okay I’m gonna follow him.”

(At the nurse's office)

Nurse: "I can't figure out what the problem is, give me a second." *leaves*

Some kid at the nurse's office, probably James or Harley or Niki or something: "Not gonna lie I think he's just become a simp."

Drew: "He's literally dating my brother."

Other kid: "Your poor brother."

Isaac: "If you'd like I could break-"

Drew: "NONONonono how about you just go get some rest?"

Isaac: "Okay." *immediately passes out*

Drew: "what the heck"

Other kid: "I diagnose him with simp."

-

(Chris and Drew eating lunch at the same table)

Drew: *doesn't eat an apple or a cookie or something*

Chris: "Can I have that?"

Drew: "oh okay sure here you go"

(Later)

Drew: *hidden in a janitor closet* *on phone* "Nevin help I don't know what I did but Chris has been following me around like a lost puppy since lunch and I don't know what to do. It's like what happened with Isaac but worse somehow."

-

(Drew saves a stranger from getting hit by a car)

Drew: "May I have your name?"

Autumn: "As long as you give it back, haha. But yeah, my name's Autumn."

Drew: "That's a nice name."

Drew: "Do I actually have to give it back?"

The stranger: "Preferably, yeah."

-

Drew: “And not to even mention the time I was just sitting down in the forest and a ring of mushrooms started to grow around me! Or how I remember every time Nevin ever thanked me for a gift and not paid me back. And I keep seeing people just walk into places but I can’t seem to go anywhere unless I’m invited, which I thought was just me being polite but then Nevin became a vampire and has to deal with the same thing so I’m just now noticing it’s weird.”

Barry: “Uh, I think this is more of an Error specialty than a therapist specialty.”

Edward: *opens door* “Did someone say Error?”

Drew: “See? Like that! I can’t do that! I had to ask if I could come in.”

Edward: “WAIT DID DREW ALSO GET VAMPIRE-IFIED?”

Drew: “I dunno! Did I?”

Barry: “Drew, how about you tell Ed about how earlier you asked Autumn for her name and had to actually give it back?”

Drew: “I still think they were just joking around, I don’t see the big deal.”

Edward: “...”

Edward: “Drew what are your allergies?”

Drew: “Why are you asking the ‘what supernatural being are you’ question”

Edward: “Just, uh, what are they?”

Drew: “Well there’s iron, salt, something about the incense churches use makes me feel queasy...”

Edward: “Yeah okay you’re a changeling.”

Drew: *gasp* “Like from My Little Pony?!”

Edward: “Uh, no. I mean like, your parents probably pissed off some fae and out of spite the fae stole the actual Drew and you’re just a magical copy. Either that or some fae just wanted their child to be raised by humans because they thought it was cool, that’s sometimes also the reason. Either way you’re not the original Drew Jovel.”

Drew: “I-”

Drew: “...”

Drew: *on the brink of tears* “what?”

-

-

as always, ibvs is made by onebizarrekai, go check it out on ao3

[crowley-in-arkham]

Oh! Aw Doc, I had no idea u were gonna take requests! Eddy wouldnt tell me what you and him were talkin' about. (I'm not tellin' ya where I got my phone tho- sorry docs♡) Can I ask sumthin? Can I? Whatcha do when you're not here in Arkham? Oooh!! Wait! One better! What's ur favorite song? Oh, and icecream flavor--

I've been craving icecream really hard lately. Oh! If it isn't contraband can u bring some in for me? Strawberry chocolate please! (The one with the freeze dried strawberries, u know the one) xoxoxo I'd love you 5 ever!!

-Harls ♡♥︎♡♥︎

Harley how did you-- do you follow this?

I guess I did ask didn't I? I'll answer all three, for you Harley.

1. If I work late I tend to stop at Pauli's for food before I go home. Usually I'll call my brother right after I'm done with being in Arkham. I check the news to see how Mr. Cobblepot's release is going, if he isn't on the news, that's good news. Sometimes I watch a movie or read-- this is too dry for Quinn.

2. My favorite icecreams are butter pecan and coffee.

3. Yes Harley, I will ask if I can bring you some icecream. I'll get you the chocolate fudge shell drizzle stuff you love too.

Edit: I forgot you asked about my favorite song. Uh- I'm not actually sure. Maybe "We'll Meet Again"? Or maybe "Please Don't Make Me Love You", from Dracula, you probably know the one. If not, ask Ed, I'm sure he knows.

[knit-wear-it]

The Harlequin Series - Masterlist

Everyone deserves a personal life, even Gotham’s two most notorious psychopaths

The Harlequin - AO3 / FFN

Harley becomes a villain on her own terms, but she just can’t seem to shake the Joker.

Holiday - AO3 / FFN

Prequel to the Pantomime

The Pantomime - AO3 / FFN

Harley & J struggle to communicate, and with Black Mask taking over the city and the Riddler on the loose, the timing couldn’t be worse.

The Rabbit Hole - AO3 / FFN

Part 1: Disorder - Five years after the events of the Pantomime, corruption and disorder are Gotham’s status quo. With the Batman’s identity up for auction and a deadly new vigilante on the loose, long-buried secrets finally come to the surface, and chaos takes on an unfriendly new meaning for the Joker and Harley Quinn.

Art by @dreadart @ynngaa @a--muse--d

More Art by Ynnga

Tumblr One Shots

Drunk Tank - Link

Harley sees the Joker drunk for the first time. Set between the Harlequin & Holiday. Domestic fluff.

Salon - Link + Comic

Harley gets her roots done

The Origins of Greedy Slut - Link

Title says it all. Fluff & a little smut.

Phone Sex - Link

Harley & J’s more successful second attempt at phone sex. Fluff & smut.

Inflight - Link

Harley & J attempt to blend in on a commercial airliner. Pure lolz.

Abnormal Psychology I - Link

A lesson on psychopaths. PhD Student Harley & Arkham Director Crane backstory/ writing exercise.

Abnormal Psychology II - Link

Joan Leland’s two greatest disappointments. Undergrad Harley & PhD Crane backstory / writing exercise.

A Veterinarian Wouldn’t Cut It This Time I - Link

After Harley shoots the Joker in the Harlequin 21, Marty finds him.

A Vererinarian Wouldn’t Cut It This Time II - Link

What happened next.

AU: Training Day - Link

In an alternate universe Harley & Ed spar together in Lee’s living room instead of having a serious conversation about Vicki Vale.

Tunes 🎧

[snowonthebeachmp3]

July 2016

Jul 3rd - Taylor's 4th of July festivities kick off at her Rhode Island house. Guests include Tom Hiddleston, Abigail Anderson, Matt Lucier, Claire Winter, Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Karlie Kloss, Josh Kushner, Austin Swift, Ruby Rose, Harley Gusman, Halston Sage, Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevingne, Britany Maack, Ben LaManna, Martha Hunt, Jason McDonald, Uzo Aduba, Chioma Aduba, Jordan Masterson, Kesha, St Vincent, Ed Sheeran, Cherry Seaborn, Rachel Platten, Kennedy Rayé and the Haim sisters. (x) (x) (x) (x)

This is the day Tom wears the infamous 'I <3 TS' tank top while they're all at the beach. (x)

Jul 4th - The online mockery for the 'I <3 TS' shirt is quick to pour in. Daily Mail commenters are yet to shut up about it in 2021.

The party continues with a giant inflatable waterslide, body painting, karaoke, charades and fireworks. (x) And also Kesha and Haim getting tricked by Cara, Uzo and Ruby into thinking they heard scary noises in the night, and trying to call the police but not knowing their own location. (x) (x)

Jul 5th - The day after the party, when all the guests post their photos online.

Britany posts a photo of her & Ben, Blake & Ryan, and Taylor & Tom. (x) The internet has a field day with Ryan's unimpressed facial expression. (x) (Ryan later says that it's just his resting bitch face as he wasn't aware a photo was being taken. (x))

Taylor posts several photos to Instagram of her celebrating the 4th July with friends, but doesn't post any pictures with Tom. (x)

Claire Winter posts a bunch of Polaroids, including one of Taylor and Tom kissing. (x)

Abigail posts a photo to Instagram showing the banners Taylor put up to celebrate her engagement to Matt and the anniversaries of Cara & St Vincent (real name Annie Clark) and Ed & Cherry. (x)

Jul 6th - Taylor and Tom fly out of Rhode Island (x) and arrive at LAX that evening. (x) They then get on a plane to Australia.

Joe attends the Warner Music Group summer party in London. (x)

Rumours are swirling that Tom is no longer in consideration to be the next Bond, due to his relationship with Taylor. (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Jul 8th - Taylor and Tom are flying on a commercial Quantas flight so someone is able to take a pic of them on the plane. (x)

According to another passenger on the plane, Taylor plays Scrabble during the flight (presumably on her phone because nobody takes big physical board games on commercial flights and the creepshot of Hiddleswift on the plane suggests she wouldn't have had anywhere to put the board anyway). In hindsight, knowing how Taylor and Joe play lots of Scrabble together including online Scrabble aka Words With Friends, and how they stayed in touch largely via texting that summer, it’s very possible she was playing against Joe.

Taylor and Tom arrive in Sydney, where Tom is about to start filming for Thor: Ragnarok. (x) Aussie media, including daytime TV, goes nuts over Hiddleswift's arrival in the country. (x)

Flying from LA to Australia involves crossing the international dateline, so they would have left the US on the 6th July local time and arrived in Sydney approx 15 hours later on the 8th July local time.

Calvin's new song Olé, written for John Newman, is released. There is speculation that it's a Hiddleswift song, written from Tom's perspective and containing lyrics implying that Taylor cheated on Calvin with Tom. However, sources also told multiple outlets that the song was written and recorded months earlier, and its supposed links to Hiddleswift were just for publicity. (x) (x)

Jul 9th - Tom goes out for a run (x) and avoids answering questions about Taylor. (x)

Jul 10th - Taylor and Tom go out for dinner to Gemelli Italian restaurant in Broadbeach on Australia's Gold Coast. (x)

Jul 11th - Taylor is named as the highest earning celebrity on the 2016 Forbes Celebrity 100 list, with earnings of $170m mostly due to the 1989 World Tour. If she and Calvin had not split up, they would have been the top-earning celebrity couple. (x)

Jul 12th - Taylor visits Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital in South Brisbane. (x)

Jul 13th - Us Weekly makes a wild claim that Tom is planning to propose soon, and Taylor is going to say yes. The magazine cover also claims they're already talking about babies. (x)

TMZ claims that Taylor wrote TIWYCF, and that Calvin disrespecting Taylor following its release was the reason for their breakup. (x)

Taylor Swift really is the creative brains behind Calvin Harris' monster hit "This is What You Came For," and their relationship fell apart because he disrespected her when the song was released ... this according to sources connected with Taylor.

It's a fascinating story. We've learned an early fan rumor about the song is true, but to a deeper extent than anyone suspected. During their relationship, Taylor wrote the song, sat down at a piano and did a demo into her iPhone. She sent it to Calvin, who loved it. They both went into a studio and did a full demo with Taylor on vocals and Calvin doing the beat.

They both knew the song would be a hit, but Taylor wrote it for Calvin and both agreed it was a bad idea to let the world know they collaborated as a couple ... it would overshadow the song.

So Taylor, who kept the publishing rights, used the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg on the credits.

//

The problem in the relationship came the day the song was released. Calvin appeared on Ryan Seacrest's radio show and Ryan asked, "Will you do a collaboration with your girlfriend?" Calvin responded, "You know we haven't even spoken about it. I can't see it happening though."

We're told Taylor was hurt and felt Calvin took it too far.

It was a quick downward spiral from that point. One source called it "the breaking point in the relationship." The Met Gala was several days later, when Taylor danced with Tom Hiddleston.

Tree confirms to People magazine that Taylor did write TIWYCF under the pseudonym Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Calvin also confirms that Taylor wrote TIWYCF and goes on a Twitter rant:

Katy Perry tweets a gif of Hillary Clinton with a smug/'told you so' expression. (x) She also retweets an older tweet from May 2015 which reads, 'Time, the ultimate truth teller.' (x)

#TaylorSwiftIsOverParty trends on Twitter (x) (x) and Taylor's Instagram comments are spammed with the snake emoji. (x)

Following Calvin's tweets, TMZ publishes another article claiming he is downplaying Taylor's involvement in the song as she wrote the melody in addition to the lyrics. (x)

Jul 14th - Taylor goes out shopping in Gold Coast. (x)

Tom mentions Taylor in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter: (x)

You're in the middle of a cultural frenzy right now because you're dating Taylor Swift. How would you respond to people who claim that you're involved in some sort of publicity stunt?

(Laughs.) Well, um. How best to put this? That notion is — look, the truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we're very happy. Thanks for asking. That's the truth. It's not a publicity stunt.

Martha says at a Pepsi/World Emoji Day event that Taylor and Tom are 'both happy and free together. It's amazing, I'm all about people being happy in love.' (x)

Kim talks about Taylor and the Famous controversy in a clip from an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (x)

“I never talk shit about anyone publicly, especially in interviews. But I was just like I had so had it,” Kim says in the clip to her sister Kourtney. “I wanted to defend him in it. She legitimately quote says, ‘As soon as I get on that Grammy red carpet I’m gonna tell all the press. Like I was in on it.’”

“And then she just didn’t like the reaction?” Kourtney says in response.

“Yeah, and you know just another way to play the victim,” Kim replies. She then brings the infamous VMAs moment from 2009 by saying, “It definitely got her a lot of attention the first time… I just don’t think he should be punished for it still to this day.”

Jul 17th - Kim posts an edited recording of Kanye and Taylor's phone call. In it, they discuss the 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex' line and Taylor says, 'Go with whatever line you think is better. It’s obviously very tongue in cheek either way. And I really appreciate you telling me about it. That’s really nice.' However, nowhere in the Snapchat video does Kanye consult her about the line, 'I made that bitch famous,' which is the line Taylor insisted she had never approved. (x) The other Kardashian sisters retweet and support Kim. (x)

(The full recording of the call, leaked in 2020, confirms that Kanye never told Taylor he was going to call her a bitch. It also shows her reminding him that she sold 7 million albums before he had even heard of her, in response to him suggesting the lyric, 'I made her famous.')

Kim takes to Twitter to call Taylor a snake.

Taylor posts a statement on Instagram responding to Kim's Snapchat video. (x)

Selena tweets, 'There are more important things to talk about… Why can’t people use their voice for something that fucking matters? This industry is so disappointing yet the most influential smh' (x)

Katy Perry tweets, '#RISE above it all' and links to her new single. People interpret it as a dig at Taylor. (x)

Martha Hunt tweets, 'It's pathetic how quick our culture is to sensationalize a fabricated story...' (x)

Jul 18th - #KimExposedTaylorParty spends the day trending at number one worldwide on Twitter. (x) To the point where 0.8% of all tweets posted in the entire week from the 18th-24th use the hashtag. (x) (Assuming that 1/7th of the week's total tweets were posted on each day, that means more than 1 in every 20 tweets on the 18th used the hashtag.) #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty also returns.

TMZ claims to have a copy of a letter from Taylor's lawyer, dating back to February, demanding that Kanye destroy the recording of their phone conversation and reminding him that it is a felony to secretly record a phone conversation in California. (x)

Taylor changes the name on her writing credits for TIWYCF on the BMI songwriters database. She is now listed as Taylor Swift instead of Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Camilla Belle, the subject of Taylor's 2010 song Better Than Revenge, posts a quote to Instagram which reads, 'No need for revenge. Just sit back & wait. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves & if you’re lucky, God will let you watch.' (x)

Abigail tweets against Kim and Kanye, saying, 'May God forgive you & your wife for doing to others the very things you pray are NEVER done to your daughter.' She deletes the tweets after receiving death threats but leaves a tweet which reads, 'Guys…I will always stand by my best friend. There's no point in fighting over that.' (x)

Joseph Kahn (director of many of Taylor's music videos) defends Taylor on Twitter. (x)

The aunt of Dinah Jane from Fifth Harmony tweets, 'I always knew @/taylorswift13 was a SNAKE! Trying 2 break up my girls & use @/camilacabello97 as her protégé bitch bye you’ve been exposed!’ (x) The tweet is soon deleted and she claims her account was hacked. (x) (Camila quit the band at the end of 2016 and has since said that Taylor had nothing to do with her decision to leave.) (x)

Paula Erickson, Taylor’s former publicist from 2007 until 2014, likes a two-and-a-half-week-old tweet dragging Hiddleswift for being a badly executed bit of PR by Taylor and Tree. (x)

James Corden spoofs the recorded phone call on the Late Late Show. (x)

Calvin is rumoured to be dating Tinashe. (x)

Jul 20th - Todrick Hall defends Taylor, saying, 'She's one of the most genuine people I've ever met in my entire life.' (x)

Uzo Aduba says Taylor is 'a beautiful person and strong' and that she will overcome the Kimye drama. (x)

Paula likes another tweet shading Taylor and Tree. (x)

A graffiti artist creates a mural in Melbourne 'in loving memory of Taylor Swift' (misspelled as Smith). According to the artist, they are then contacted by Taylor's lawyers and threatened with legal action. (x)

Jul 21st - Taylor's Wikipedia page is vandalised with insults. (x)

Taylor and Tom fly back from Australia into a private airport in LA, and are seen out and about. (x) (x)

Jul 22nd - Fergie, who had Kim appear in her M.I.L.F. $ music video, says she thinks the Kimye-Taylor feud was planned and 'they’ll probably all come together at the MTV Awards or something.' (x)

Taylor goes to the gym in LA. It is the first time she has appeared in public since Kim posted the edited video, and her phone screen is now shattered. (x)

She also returns to Instagram to wish Selena a happy birthday. (x)

Jul 23rd - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Tom is at Comic Con in San Diego. (x)

Calvin lip-syncs to Kanye's song That Part in a video posted on his Snapchat. (x) He also attends J-Lo's birthday party and is photographed with Kim. Apparently they have a friendly chat. (x) A source claims to E!, 'When Kim walked in Calvin saw her and stood up. He was clearly excited to see her and said 'hi' to Kim backstage.' (x)

Jul 24th - Taylor blocks the snake emoji from her Instagram comments section using a new Instagram feature. (x)

Tom is seen at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills with members of Taylor's security team. (x)

Jul 26th - Tom flies back to LA from NYC, where he has just spent a couple of days. On the same day, Taylor's plane arrives back in LA from Nashville, where she has spent a couple of days. (x)

VMA nominations are announced. Taylor is not nominated in any category, despite Out Of The Woods and Wildest Dreams being eligible, leading some people to think she has been snubbed. Gossip Cop, an outlet widely used by celebrity publicists to quietly squash rumours, says that Taylor did not submit any videos for consideration this year. (x)

Jul 27th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

John Newman, singer of Calvin's song Olé, jokes, 'Supposedly we had a holiday where he was movin’ on from his ex-missus,' referring to the trip to Mexico to film the music video, which involved girls and a yacht. He also says he doesn't think it's his place to say what inspired Calvin to write the song. (x)

Taylor and Tom go for dinner at Hillstone restaurant in Santa Monica. One source claims they 'seemed to really be enjoying each others’ company.' (x) It is the last time they are papped together.

Kanye makes a surprise appearance at Drake's concert in Chicago where he responds to Kim's Snapchat video for the first time, saying, 'All I gotta say is, I am so glad my wife has Snapchat. Because now y’all can know the truth. And can’t nobody talk shit about ‘Ye no more.' (x)

Cara appears on James Corden's show and talks about how she, Uzo and Ruby pranked Kesha and Haim at Taylor's 4th of July party. She mentions consulting Taylor and Tom first so that security knew what they were up to. She also says that Taylor and Tom got woken up at one point by all the noise they were making, and came upstairs together to find Cara and Uzo still making ghost noises. (x)

Jul 28th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Jul 29th - Sources close to Calvin deny rumours that he is planning to collaborate on music with Kanye. (x)

Abigail likes E! News' Instagram photo of Tom and Taylor going out for dinner on the 27th, which has a gushing caption about them. (x)

Jul 31st - Taylor is seen entering her gym in LA through the back door. (x)

A fan sees Tom and Taylor at The Church Key restaurant in LA. (x) The outing is not papped.

Intro // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November

[roguish-gallery]

Can you do a headcannon for the rouges on halloween?

Saved this one for the right time! Also!!! TW for some NS/FW mentions!

Rogues + Halloween HCs!!

Bane:

He might hop around from party to party, just for kicks! He doesn’t stick around any of them for too long, though.

You know those unsourced facebook articles that your aunt and your mom share each year about the guy who apparently lives in every neighborhood in the country who sticks razor blades into the chocolate bars he hands out to kids? That’s Bane, but he doesn’t even give out any candy. Just knives. He tells every child that knocks on his door how they can properly defend themselves should they ever get imprisoned for crimes they didn’t commit, or how to properly gut that one bitch who keeps hogging the good kickball at recess.

He dresses up like a Roman gladiator! It’s cool and gritty, and he doesn’t have to worry about finding a shirt that fits his body. Plus, he looks really good in gladiator sandals.

Catwoman:

She’s either attending some boring Halloween party with socialites she’s planning to rob, or watching some shitty scary movie with the rest of the sirens.

That being said, she makes sure that every child that knocks on her door gets the full-sized candy bars. 

She dresses up like a witch! Classy and simple, but lots of opportunities to add her own creative touches!

Harley Quinn:

She’s out there living her best life, being a grown-ass woman... and still trying to Trick-or-Treat. Anyone who gives her a toothbrush or a bag of pretzels is gonna get a brick thrown through their windows later that night.

She managed to convince Basil to lend her some of the horror films in his collection, and despite the fact that none of this shit is scary, she loses her goddamn mind during every mildly frightening scene.

She’s wearing one of that inflatable T-Rex costumes!!! Mostly because they’re really funny and because she KNOWS that people are expecting her to dress up as something “sexy” and this is her way of giving them a middle finger. (also if she’s in a big t-rex costume then it’s harder for the people handing out candy to realize that she’s a grown-ass woman).

Joker:

He’s the annoying bitch in the morph suit that shows up to every party. He thinks that people won’t be able to recognize him but. Everyone knows it’s him.

Killer Croc:

He has a genuine love for Halloween because it’s one of the few times of the year where he can walk around in public without anyone freaking out.

Fdskjfhskdj he shows up to costume contests and tells judges that he’s “Godzilla” and he leaves with some cool ribbons and a nice chunk of prize money for his “life-like costume”

Like I said, he’s either Godzilla or Kaiman from Dorohedoro. Whatever sounds more fun at the time!

Mad Hatter:

The only person here who made their costume entirely from scratch. It will be a cold day in hell when he gives a cent of his hard-earned money to a Spirit Halloween.

Surprisingly enough, he does not dress as an Alice character (he already does that every other day, and it wouldn’t be fun to do it for Halloween too). Now he’s dressed like a Victorian-style ghost!!

“Boo!! Give me your candy, and complement how dashing, smart, and spooky I am, or I’ll... uh- I’ll haunt you!! Boo!!!”

Penguin:

Surprising no one, he throws an excellent Halloween party at the Iceberg Lounge and he somehow prevents any of the other Rogues from setting any fires. A successful night!

He’s honestly not super festive when it comes to Halloween? At least in comparison to the other Rogues. He decorates the Iceberg accordingly for the party, but it’s more for the sake of entertaining his guests.

Tbh, he’ll just wear one of his regular suits, apply extra eyeliner, and slap on some fangs and tell everyone he’s a vampire. He’s glad that he finally has an excuse to wear one of his capes in public. Might fuck around and go as the Phatom of the Opera or some shit.

Poison Ivy:

Spends the entire month fuckin around with the pumpkins, as one with plant powers is ought to do. If the pumpkin you’re trying to carve into a jack o’ lantern suddenly grows arms and stabs you back with your knife, Pamela probably had something to do with it.

Harley ate all of the candy she bought a week ago, and she forgot to grab more so Pam awkwardly hands out leftover food from her fridge to any trick-or-treaters who come over. Pam hopes that the toddler in the Paw Patrol costume enjoys the hummus he got because Pam was really looking forward to eating it.

She dresses as Demeter! I love Pammy so much and I’m sorry to say this but she is 100% the type of person who gets huffy whenever people (or children) don’t immediately recognize who she’s dressed as.

Riddler:

Jon rents all of the Exorcist films and bets Eddie 100 dollars that he wouldn’t be able to watch through the entire series. Ed promptly accepts that bet… and quits 30 minutes into the first movie.

… He’s dresses as Captain Kirk for Halloween. Ed is a shameless Trekkie and I will die on this hill.

He individually texts every Rogue and officer of the GCPD this exact copypasta, and then he… turns his phone off for the rest of the week and refuses to respond to any calls :) or death threats :) or warrants for his arrest :)

Scarecrow:

Ahhhh…. Do you hear that? The shrieks of terror?  That crisp autumn air? Those Pillsbury sugar cookies with the pumpkins on them? Yes, Jonathan Crane is in his natural element.

Sdasdfsdfkj He sneaks into the local haunted house and corn maze attractions so he can upstage the actual scare actors.

He just wears his scarecrow outfit; if it’s not broken, don’t fix it. (that, and Jervis made him swear to not buy a cheap costume at Spirit Halloween.)

Two-Face:

He’s just chillin!! Having a fun spooky time!! He can buy apple cider back at the store again, and life is good!

Harv will make trick-or-treaters flip a coin, and based on what it lands on they either get a full chocolate bar, or a box of raisins and a toothbrush.

He’s dressed up like a biker! Leather jacket, cool shades, and tight jeans- he and Bruce used to dress up like bikers for past Halloweens!

[thedreammweaver]

Life With Jervis (Gotham New Orleans Hattercrow, domestic fluff, some angst)

Warnings: panic attack mention, brief sexual references

Jonathan rolled his eyes as before he could even get his chores started Jervis was bounding out of the house towards him in just his pjs, a robe, and slippers.

There was a stuffed rabbit swinging from one of his hands. It was early but Jervis’ hyper nature had obviously already set in. Once he got to Jonathan he hugged him tightly. “Jervis, I have to feed everybody.” Jon reminded, referring to the various animals on the property “And it’s cold go, back inside.” Jon himself had four layers on between two sweaters, overalls, and a coat. “I’m not cold, Jonathan dear.” Jervis said wistfully, snuggling into Jon. It didn’t take long for Jon to think of something “But your rabbit doesn’t have any clothes on, they’ll be frigid!” He injected some concern in his usually monotonous speech to raise the stakes.

Jervis pulled away to look at the stuffed rabbit he was holding before gasping “Oh no!” He was soon back in the house, having sprinted inside to warm the rabbit up. Jon smiled softly before getting back to his routine.

Jervis was wrapping his rabbit in a small blanket and setting it in front of the fireplace to warm up when Jonathan suddenly came behind him to pick him up. He squealed in surprise and started squirming. “Jon! You scared me!”

“Oh did I?” Jon purred.

“I forbid you to enjoy it! Put me down!”

“But you’re warm...” Jon hummed nuzzling Jervis’ hair.

“I am not your heating unit, Jonathan Crane.” He said firmly. Despite his protests all of Jervis’ fight disappeared as he gave into Jonathan’s hugging him. Now that he had Jervis settled he figured it was a good time to broach a much dreaded subject “You have to take your medicine now.” At those words Jervis went totally limp in Jon’s arms. “Jervis?” Jon shook him a bit “Jervis, do not play dead. You have to take your meds.” Jervis still didn’t react. Jon rolled his eyes “Uh oh, my arms are giving out looks like I’m gonna drop you.” He let Jervis slip a bit.

“Don’t!” Jervis shrieked.

“Are you ready to take your meds now?” Jon asked smugly.

“You tricked me.” Jervis pouted, squirming out of Jon’s arms to slump onto the floor and lay facedown. Jonathan pulled an oral syringe already filled with the tweaked anti-hallucinogens out of his coat pocket. “Jervis turn over.”

Jervis whined and tried to push Jon away, curling into a ball. Jonathan sighed, it looked like today was going to be a difficult one as far as this was concerned. Jon was tempted to give Jervis a break but the last and only time he did that Jervis was a terror about his meds for the rest of the week. “Jervis, you know if you don’t take this willingly I have to force you which isn’t fun for either of us. I’m warning you right now.” Jervis stayed curled up in a ball. In a clearer state of mind Jervis had given Jonathan permission to force him but Jonathan was already feeling bad for what he had to do as he moved over to climb on top of his boyfriend.

Jon was calmly eating cereal as Jervis stared daggers into him from the living room floor, there were still tear stains on his cheeks. “Come eat, Jervis.”

“I’m mad at you.”

“I know, you still need to eat.”

Jervis reluctantly got up and shuffled into the kitchen to make himself something. Though mornings like this were hard Jon felt satisfied with having gotten Jervis in order for the day.

After spending a few hours in the lab Jon figured he better go check on Jervis, plus Jervis would scold him if he stayed in the basement all day. When he got upstairs Jervis was in the middle of finger painting but had his phone inbetween his head and his shoulder, he signaled to Jon to be quiet as he mouthed the words ‘panic attack’. Jon could hear Ed’s voice coming through the phone sounding rather upset. Jervis was meticulously smearing blue paint on the canvas in front of him while he waited for Ed to stop rambling. “Are you alright to wait until Selina and Harley get home or do you need me to keep talking?” Jervis was now adding greens to the canvas “Alright then, Eddie. Remember, I’m always happy to lend an ear.” Jervis reassured as Ed hung up and Jervis let the phone drop from his shoulder onto the rug he was sitting on. Jon came over to see that Jervis was painting a scarecrow in a field “What was that all about?” Jon asked sitting behind Jervis to run his fingers through his hair.

“Ed was just ups-“

“I mean why didn’t he just call Oswald?”

“If Oswald heard them crying he’d immediately go all the way to the city and that’s not what Ed needs right now. When they call Oswald later they can say they were upset but feel better after talking to me and Oswald won’t be worried enough to hurry over.”

A few moments of silence passed as Jon continued brushing through Jervis’ hair with his fingers and Jervis finished up his painting. Jon cleared his throat “Do you want to have sex tonight?” Jon knew to ask beforehand so Jervis had plenty of time to think about whether he was up for it. Jervis thought for a moment before shaking his head. “Okay, thank you for being honest.” Jon leant down to kiss Jervis on the cheek.

“Can we go have a tea party with the pigs?” Jervis asked.

Jervis was cuddled into Jon’s lap as they watched a film together, it was a horror from the forties suiting both their tastes. It had been nearly twelve hours since Jervis had his meds which meant they were wearing off. Jonathan could tell they’d already started waning as Jervis’ eyes occasionally left the tv and followed things in the room that Jon couldn’t see. He found watching something as Jervis’ hallucinations came back fully eased the transition back into unreality for him. He was dozing on Jon now, curling up more and hiding his face in Jon’s chest.

Jervis bounced excitedly as Jon finished brushing his teeth and came to bed. Jervis was in a fluffy pink nightgown he hadn’t worn before and was waiting for Jon to compliment him. “You look pretty.” Jon said, absently fixing Jervis’ sleep bonnet which was pink to match. Jervis was blushing and hugged Jon tightly “I love you.” Knowing they were about to go to sleep their cat jumped up onto the bed “Cheshire says he loves you too.” Jon wasn’t sure if Jervis was interpreting the movements of the cat, who had previously just been called Cat before Jervis moved in, or talking about one of the characters he was hallucinating. Jon settled on it being both. He wasn’t good at speaking his feelings about love so he just pressed his forehead against Jervis’, and that was enough.

[slashscowboyboots]

The Blackboard Jungle: Amarillo by Morning (Part 2)

Part 1

I think I can get all of this out by Christmas (if my Internet doesn’t take a shit like it has the last two days).  Thank you for your great feedback

Tag list @izzysdenimjacket​ @no-stone-no-bone​ @sexcoffeeandrockandroll @awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands ​ @smokeandmirrorz ​ @sodalitefully ​ @roger-taylors-car ​ @harley-m-rose ​ @whisperess33 ​ @shawolat​ ​ @80snikki @rumoured-whispers

Warnings: asshole alert, more stuff coming out of the kids, fanfic smut.  All credit to the songwriters and I hope Ian Ziering is having a good time wherever he is

“Is tonight the night?” you wondered, glancing at your hair and smoothing your dress in the mirror.  You were getting ready to go out on a date tonight, possibly with your soulmate.  Someone named Ian Ziering.

No, not the actor.  He was actually a friend of yours, since you’d contacted him on Facebook, dming him a photo of your arm and asking if he had a tattoo of your name.  He sent back a picture of “Hortensia” boldly inked between his shoulder blades and the two of you commiserated for hours.

Eventually, though, love struck.  Ian invited you to be his guest at his latest “Sharknado” premiere, and you ended up seated next to a stunningly pretty actress carrying a flask in her purse, and as the two of you imbibed, she spilled the tea on everyone in Hollywood, delicious and hot and fresh.  

More than a little drunk, you asked her what her soulmate mark was, and she pulled her dress up her thigh to reveal the initials “I. A. Z.,” which made you collapse into stupefied giggles.

“Heeeeyyyy, Sia,” you slurred, snickering loud enough people turned around and stared, “heeeeyy, you gotta meet my friend.”

Ian had Facetimed you, saying that someone had reached out to him saying that he had the same name as him, although he wasn’t a member of Ian’s family.  When he realized this Ian only lived an hour from you, he immediately got in touch.

“Maybe he’s the one,” he said, hope visible in his icy blue eyes.  “Do you want me to set you up with him?”

“Sure,” you replied.  It was completely pointless to carry a torch for Jeff Isbell, his initials didn’t match up with your marking, although he was completely under your skin.  He’d bought you two cases of paste, as well as a sour cherry scone from the bakery across from the school, and because his room was next to yours, you frequently consolidated your classes, often with eye-opening results.

“Miss Teacher,” one of his students said, and you bent down to her.  “I gotta birfmark.”  She removed her shoe, then yanked her sock off and held out her right foot, proudly displaying the TAD decorating the top of it.

“Oh, you said, squatting next to her, “T. A. D.”

She drew her head back, her tiny face creasing in disgust at your horrifying ignorance.  “No, that’s Tad, Miss Teacher.  I can read, you know.”

You were immediately apologetic.  “Oh, yes, of course, um-?”

“Mari,” Jeff gently provided.

“Did you call me?” one of your pupils asked, and you looked into Tad Wilson’s huge brown eyes.

“Uh, no, honey, I didn’t,” and before you could say anything else, Mari lunged her still naked foot at him.

“I got your name on my foot,” she said.  “It’s a birfmark.  You got one?”

Tad blinked at her, then yanked up his shirt.  Over his heart was a small but intricate swallowtail butterfly.

Jeff gasped.  “It-no, it can’t be.  That’s unbelievable.”

You looked at him, his face visibly paler and his eyes enormous.  “What’s unbelievable?”

“Her name-her name is Mariposa.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.”

“That’s me,” Mari giggled, touching the butterfly and making Tad blush.  “Can I hug you?”

He pulled his shirt down and held out his arms.  “Sure.”  They pulled each other into a sweet embrace, and Jeff sat down at his desk and rubbed his hands against his face.

“That would’ve made my life easier,” he muttered.

You watched the two kids giggle and twirl each other around, your heart aching at how adorable and lucky they were, and asked, “You haven’t met your soulmate yet, Mr. Isbell?”

“No, and I probably never will.”

“Why?” you asked, curious.

He looked up at you, and his eyes were so tired, you could have cried for him.  “It’s not a picture, or initials, or even a name.  At least I don’t think it’s a name.”  He dug a palm into his left eye, then sighed.  “Uh, have you found yours?”

“No,” you said quietly.  

“What did you end up with?”

“Uh, initials.   They aren’t common.”  You looked away, feeling a lump aching in your throat.  “I-I have a date tonight, though.”

Jeff jerked his head up, then set his mouth in a thin line.  “Hey, that’s great.  Good luck.”

He’s not who I want, though, you thought, and before you could say that out loud, Tad threw Mari on the ground and ran to you.

“OW!” she howled, holding her head.  “Mr. Isbell, he hurt me!”

“Miss Teacher,” Tad gasped, holding his rear, “I need to poop!”

“Go, go!” you said, escorting him to the toilet in the back of the room.  When he shut the door, you gave the thumbs up to Jeff, who nodded, his eyes still heartbreakingly sad.

You’d agreed to meet Ian at an upscale restaurant halfway between your locations, and when you arrived at Sur La Table, he was nowhere to be found.  

“Reservation for Ziering,” you said to the hostess, and she guided you back to a private table.

After you were seated, you checked your phone to see if he’d sent you any texts saying he’d be late.  He hadn’t.

He was attractive, not as Jeff but not bad, you thought, scrolling through your very limited correspondences and sighing as you thought, Maybe this is what’s meant to be.  You took another drink of water, and another, and after three glasses of it you were ready to leave when he flopped down in front of you.

“Hey, babe,” he said, throwing you a wink and aiming finger guns at you.

“Um, hello, Ian,” you said politely, noticing a lack of apology for his lateness.  “Did you get held up at work?”

He took a long drink of water, then snapped his fingers at your server.  “I need a beer, toots, like now,” he said to her.  “Chop chop.”  He rolled his eyes. “Stupid college kids.  No, I found this new filter on Snapchat and I was really feeling it, y’know.  Sent it to a couple of my honeys.”

“Did you now?” you asked, ice creeping into your voice.

He threw his arm over the back of his chair.  “Yeah, I mean, my hair looked good today, so why waste it?”

On what? you thought irritably, as your server sat his beer down.

Ian grabbed her arm.  “I’d like the filet, well done.  You got ketchup here?” he asked, and you bit back a wince at what he planned on doing to such a nice cut of steak.  He handed the menu back to her, then snatched yours out of your hands.  “She’ll have salad, no croutons, no dressing.”

“I beg your pardon?” you snapped.

“Can”t have you porking up if you’re my soulmate. I need you to eat quick, too, hun, I gotta ‘Stop the Steal’ meeting starting in 20 minutes.  My man Trump was robbed.”

You stood up so fast, your chair nearly tipped over behind you.  “I think I’m done here,” you announced, throwing an arm in your jacket.

“Un uh, I ain’t getting stuck with the bill!” he hissed, standing up as well.  “You make all the money, you’re supposed to pay for this.”

Although it pained you to remain in his presence, you had to ask, “Ian, just what exactly was your soulmate tattoo?”  

Heart pounding and terrified you’d find your own initials, you watched him pull his shirt sleeve up and reveal a cat on his inner forearm.  “It’s pussy,” he smirked.  “I get all the snatch I want.” 

“Good luck with that,” you said, already heading towards the door.  Before you left, you stopped your server and handed her two 20 dollar bills.  “Please cancel our order.  And I’m sorry he was such a prick.”

“No shit?” Ian asked, his mouth hanging open as he held his phone.

“What an asshole,” Sia said.  “Did you hit him in the balls?”

“Now, love,” Ian said, shaking his head, “violence is never the answer.”

She shrugged, flicking her dark hair back.  “I guess you’re right.  So did you key his car?”

“No, Sia,” you sighed.  “I think I’m going to take a hot bath and try to forget today.”

“That sounds good Sis,” she replied.  “I think I’m going to flood his email with VD and ED ads.  Goodnight, honey.”

“I love this woman,” Ian said, grinning as he pecked her on the cheek.  “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Mmm, Blaze, that was incredible.”

“You were like a tornado.  I’ve never been with a woman who had so much passion.  You nearly made me pass out.”  Blaze’s eyes crinkled at the corners.  “That was like angry sex.  Are you mad at me?”

You chuckled.  “No, my handsome cowboy.  I’ll never be mad at you. I-” you wanted to tell Blaze you loved him, that you hadn’t thought about anyone but him since you first laid eyes on him at the faculty meeting rodeo.  

But Blaze was heading to Amarillo in the morning, up from your San Antone home.  He’d only be wearing everything he owned, and your heart ached to watch him leave.  It was heartbreaking that love wasn’t enough to keep the two of you together, that an unseen hand controlling the universe opted to keep the two of you apart.

He turned over, his large hand caressing your face, his greenish eyes questioning. “I what, baby?”

You threw the covers off of you and trotted over to your gun safe.  “I want to target practice.”

After lining up a row of cantaloupes and pumpkins, you neatly dispatched them one by one, thinking about jerks, feeling the bullets leaving the chamber with a scream and watching the fruit blow apart with a happy thrill.

“Well, that was terrifying,” Blaze drawled in his midwestern twang.

You opened the pistol, barrel still smoking, and said, “Little sister don’t miss when she aims her gun.”

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Tᕼᗴ ᑕᕼᗩOTIᑕ ᗩᑎᘜᗴᒪ

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Chapter 3: Au Revoir Gotham My True Home

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Marinette explained what happened and that she didn't mean to cause trouble, she didn't know why the bats were looking for her (author to audience... it's because she looks like one of his bat kids gone rouge.) When she asked how they knew the Bat was looking for her, she found out that Selina was actually dating the Bat... So Marinette was very surprised at that, her family talked about it and a few days after her birthday she'll be going to Paris, France with Selina to be with a family friend of hers. Marinette was now really thinking she was cursed, but she made sure to take it in stride and spend as much time with her friends and family as possible.

"Doan wawhry suguh, we'll make sure tuh visit as much as possible, yuh can even visit us durin' summuh and wintuh break." - Harley held back the tears as she hugged Marinette, Bud, Lou, Ivy, Selina, Ed and even Frank joined in on it.

……… ………

Marinette was out with her friends still not sure how to tell them, she started with the obvious.

"Sooo... tomorrow I turn 10... the double digits." - Marinette

"Soon you'll be one of us!" - Garfield gave Marinette a side hug with a big smile, god he made it harder to tell them

"So what do you want to do? We can celebrate, tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that, heck we can celebrate for the whole week while we're at it!" - Garfield

Rachel noticed the sad smile Marinette had as Garfield continued talking.

"Is there something you need to tell us?" - Rachel's words stoped Garfield in his tracks, he then looked at a slightly teary Marinette, and he felt a slight tinge of pain in his chest.

"I- um, I'm moving this Saturday... I'm sorry I really don't want to, but- *hic* I-" - Marinette was cut off by Garfield giving her a hug, he rubbed small circles on her back as she let out a few sobs. Rachel patting her shoulder to try and comfort her.

After they were like that for a few minutes, they decided to get ice cream

……… ……… ………

"I'm sorry." - Marinette eating her chocolate chip ice cream

"It's not your fault Mari, besides, we can officially say we have a pen pal in Paris." - Garfield with his chocolate mint ice cream trying to lighten the mood, managed to get a chuckle out of Marinette.

"We can still video call, or text you. And your parents said you can visit on summer and winter break." - Rachel just starting her strawberry ice cream

"But what if I need a friend to talk to when I can't sleep? Or if I need a movie buddy? Or gaming buddy?" - Marinette

"There are online multiplayer games we can play you know." - Rachel

"Yeah, and I'm sure you'll make friends over there really quickly, I mean you already know a few other languages, including French, so there isn't any communication problems." - Garfield

"I wish you guys could come with me..." - Marinette almost done with her ice cream

"... Didn't you say you always wanted a hamster, maybe one that's unique, like a the rare Green Gotham Hamster?" - Garfield with a mischievous grin

"Selina's family friends own a bakery, so no pets allowed. Sorry Rare Green Gotham Hamster, I'm afraid you're staying native to Gotham." - Marinette said patting his shoulder.

"Wait they own a bakery?! As in you can be on a sugar high 24/7?! Take me with you!!" - Garfield

……… ……… ………

Soon it was time for them to go home, when Marinette got home, she continued packing what she would need, making sure that her Siren plushies where safely secure, and then went to eat dinner.

The next day she made sure to get up early, Garfield and Rachel knew where she lived, and wanted to make sure everything was ready for them, setting up the games they would play into the night, and the movies they would watch after that.

She then went to the Gardens to greet her Mom and the plants, doing the usual routine of checking all the plants, complimenting and watering them. During which a sleepy Harley walked over giving Ivy and Marinette a morning kiss before going to make her coffee.

At breakfast she didn't see her Aunt yet, she assumed she was robbing someone rich again.

……… Over to Catwoman ………

"Come ta mama." - Catwoman mumbled as she used her claws to cut the glass surrounding an old elegant purple sapphire that belonged to one of Gotham's founding fathers' wives.

……… Back to Marinette ………

About an hour after breakfast Garfield and Rachel came over, holding Marinettes' rapped presents, they started the day off with trivia games, which they called the MIQ (which can mean either Marinette Isley-Quinzel or in this case Memory Intelligence Quiz) which Marinette and Rachel came to a tie followed by Ivy, then Harley, and Garfield. They then moved on to board games, Marinette decided to play The Game of Life rather than Monopoly (because lets be honest, who has ever finished that game in the time of a signle day? An extreme speedrunner... maybe.) while the adults got the cake ready. Surprisingly Garfield won, he got the acting career, a sports car, a nice old fashioned mid modern house, a wife, and 3 kids... Marinette got the fashion designer career, got a motorcycle, and a small, but nice victorian house, a husband, and one kid... and Rachel got the scientist career (because science is just simplified mortal magic), a delorean car (and even said "Since science is magic I can make it fly, so technically, I don't need roads where I'm going."), a modern cabin in the woods, single (she didn't want a significant other to interrupt her magic science) and got a pet bird.

Once Selina and Ed came over, they began the party, playing games like DDR, Ultimate Mecha Strike 2, and Racing games.

When it came time for Marinette to blow out her candles, she wished that everything would be okay, and that she will be able to come back to Gotham permanently, and blew them out.

She then got to open her presents, she started with Harley's, and got a custom baseball bat that was a dark steel blue, with a light grey handle grip, and it had the words "Quinn For Da Win" on it, putting a smile on her face, when she opened Ivy's gift she got seeds of her favorite flowers to plant over in Paris. She then opened her Uncle Ed's gift, which was a small watch that had special A.I., it had a cover over the inside screen that would flip open to reveal another screen. The cover was silver with a blue question mark, and when it opened, it showed the time, and the location you where in, it could also act as a GPS, and a phone (it could even play music AND had an incredible battery life span). She then moved on to her Aunt Selina's gift, finding a small purple sapphire in the shape of a cat paw, surrounded in silver. She then opened Rachel's gift, it was a travel mug that said "Coffee lives in my veins." (Marinette started drinking coffee recently) which made Marinette laugh, and then she got to Garfield's gift. When she opened it, she found a handmade charm bracelet, it had animals that she really liked around it, and there was one that was a small tiger, with it's eyes and nose having a light green peridot stone, to represent the first day they met. She put the bracelet on her right rist and thanked Garfield for it, and gave everyone a big hug.

She spent the rest of the day playing with her friends, having a wonderful time, and getting a massive sugar rush from all the cake they had. When it came time for dinner they were running low on energy, but were back to normal after Harley snuck some coffee into their food... The only thoughts that went through Garfield and Rachel's minds where "That's why Mari drinks this stuff..."

After dinner they played all kinds of video games, and ended it by watching Back To The Future. They fell asleep some time after 2am.

……… ……… …….

The next morning they all had breakfast and then spent the day playing parkour tag over roofs and playing I spy games. And at the end of the day Marinette gave her friends a big hug, before heading back home. She spent her time with her moms, Uncle, and Frank, playing more boardgames and discussing what she should do to make friends...

"Just be yawhself, we love yuh fawh who yuh are, and I'm sure everyone in Paris will love yuh too... if dey doan, den dey most likely have a massive defective reject of a brain." - Was Harley's opinion

"Riddle the f-ck out of their brain, if they can solve all of them, and like you for you, then they are worthy." - Which was Ed's opinion

"Use a chemical based compound from the magnolia flower, combined with three tulip petals, one rose petal, and pollen from a lilac to create a befriending potion." - Ivy's words made everyone silent before Ed spoke up

"... Harley if you're being mind controlled blink." - Ed deadpaned, which had Marinette cackling

"I'm not bein' mind controlled, also yuh nawhmally say ‘blink once or twice’ not just ‘blink’ I could blink at any random interval and yuh woun't know what tuh tink, and here I thoughtcha were a genius." - Harley with her head on Ivy's lap as Marinette starts wheezing.

"I think y'all broke her." - Frank just pointed to Marinette as she was still cackling and wheezing while in the fetal position.

That's when Selina walked in...

"What the hell did you guys do to Kitten?!" - Selina dropping the bags she got from some high end shop, and after they made sure Marinette was still alive they continued their game... and Marinette may have actually written the list of ingredients for that position, but only as a last resort. When it was time for them to sleep Marinette spent the night with her moms, like she use to when she was 4.

She got up early to make sure everything was ready, she had her sketch book in her backpack, as well as some pencils, ear buds, snacks and a picture of her with her family and friends. She decided to wear her new watch and charm bracelet as she finished checking her bag, she then went into the garden to say goodbye to all the plants, and to give Bud, Lou and Frank one last goodbye. She had about 3 hours before her and her Aunt were to head to the airport, and she spent that time with her moms, almost never leaving their side.

……… ……… …….

As the plane took off she looked out the airplane window, saying goodbye to Gotham, until her next visit home....

•—–·★·–—•

Chapter 3 complete, also just in case I didn't describe her B-day gifts good enough, here's what they look like (꒪꒳꒪)

Hope you're all having an amazing day, staying safe and rockin' all positive vibes,!BUG-OUT! 💮🐞💮

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Tag List〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

1st Place★: @jumpingjoy82

2nd Place★: @myazael

3rd Place★: @solangelo252

@fandom-trapped-03, @zorua-adorable, @blueblossombliss, @thefangirlwholiterallydies, @woe-is-me0, @lady-bee-fechin, @jayjayspixiepop, @kashlyn, @toodaloo-kangaroo, @buginetye, @our-preciousss , @vroomtaka, @alessialeone6997