#ed is the worst at words. he cannot convey a thing properly so he gets awkward good lord

[intcritus]

“So tell me… what do you think of Xing?” Curious words are offered as Ling crouches in a perch, absent of his finery, choosing instead to wear a familiar yellow jacket, and fresh travelling clothes, preferring the lack of confines when being so active in his traversing of his country. Today leadership remains with Mei while he lingers at Edward’s side, taking advantage of the other’s visit to give himself both chance to reminisce and spend in good company, but also to escape the confines of his new role. He does not regret it, he fought long and hard for the position he currently holds, but there are days where he laments the loss of freedom that it is coupled with. “You could admit you enjoy it more than Amestris. I won’t tell. Well perhaps your new Fuhrer if he annoys me at our next meeting…” It is playful the way he reaches out in tease, arm nudging against the prodigy’s own, lips curled in the most content smile he has worn in days. Even being around the other eases him from the mantle of emperor to just Ling, and he can breathe a little easier. It would be horrendous to admit as much, but he’ll bask in the opportunity until discovery draws his favourite alchemist away again.

❝ ━ You’re less stiff like this, ❞ Ed offers at first, something genuine and humored in his smile as he looks from Ling Yao then to the open sky with a quiet hum. The only threat looming over them now is whether or not the Emperor of Xing will get called back to his daily duties. But that isn’t enough to damper Ed’s good mood. Xing is vast, it’s absolutely gorgeous and better yet, it isn’t Amestris. ❝ ━  It feels homely. The people are close, a little nosy, but the culture is rich and I find myself yearning to come back whenever I leave, like it’s somewhere I can bunker down one day. ❞

It feels silly to say, but Ed has a lot of memories of Amestris, of home and while some of them are good, they don’t outweigh the trauma of the bad. He feels accomplished though. In Xing, there’s all sorts of things to learn, new people to meet and familiar faces, Ling Yao’s included. There’s a wistfulness to his expression, lids hanging low over golden gaze before he sneaks a glance at his companion, ❝ ━ I dare you. Tell him that I might stay here, I’m sure he’d write you a strongly worded letter. ❞

Laughter spills from his lips, loud and boisterous, the thought of Mustang hearing that amuses him greatly and yet there’s an inkling of truth in his words. He still has much to explore, the wanderlust in his heart has yet to settle, but it’s a thought all the same. He’s no longer bound by a metal arm, and the heat will never bother him, not anymore. A cocky smirk curls his lips as a thought pops into his head, tipping his head in Ling’s direction, ❝ ━ Your people will think you’re giving me special favor, hogging me like this.  ❞ He’s teasing, teeth flashing as he raps his knuckles against the other’s knee, ❝ ━ Emperor Ling, they’ll get jealous with you hiding me away like this, what ever shall we do ? ❞ His voice raises an octave, batting pale lashes before he erupts with laughter, holding his stomach.

Ed has traveled apart from his brother and with, but when he’s by himself, it’s lonely. He’s used to being with people but his journeys always lead him back to those he’ll forever gravitate toward. Ling Yao is no exception and perhaps the sole reason why he keeps coming back to Xing. It’s a good feeling, a reassurance to his mind that this isn’t a dream.  Once his laughter dies down, he wipes his eases, smile still present,❝ ━ Uh, thanks for always being so welcoming. There’s a lot I still wish to explore of Xing, but it’s beautiful so far. And the company isn’t bad either. ❞

when you're grateful and miss your favorite idiot. | @resolutepath

[sage-nebula]

Alan and Luke fon Fabre please!

If it’s all right, I’m just going to do Alan, because I have not played Tales of the Abyss in actual years and I just don’t really feel like answering for Luke, heh.

—Alan—

General Opinion: 

fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | ACTUAL LIGHT OF MY LIFE

That last one was originally all in lowercase, but to be honest, “actual light in my life” in lowercase, even bolded, does not properly convey just how emphatically I mean that.

Aesthetic Attractiveness Level: 

get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically aesthetically attractive but not my type | pretty aesthetically attractive | gorgeous! | 10/10 would hug him and kiss his forehead and maybe his temple.

Hogwarts House: 

Gryffindor | Slytherin | Ravenclaw | Hufflepuff

I wrote a 13,000 word essay on exactly why he practically bleeds red and gold (i.e. Gryffindor) once, if anyone is curious about my reasoning.

Best Quality:

ALL OF THEM, HE HAS ALL THE STRENGTHS

God, let’s see, there are so many … but ultimately, I’m going to have to go with his willingness to do what is Right, to do what needs to be done, and his sheer determination (hell, Determination, even) to see that through, regardless of the personal risk or sacrifice he has to make to do it, because he cares so goddamn much about the world that he is willing to give it his all and then some in order to defend it.

Because you see, Alan has a lot of strengths. He has a lot of great qualities. He’s loyal. He’s affectionate (albeit with a select few people and in his own way, but just look at how much he pets and cuddles Lizardon on screen). He’s incredibly intelligent. But ultimately, his best and most shining quality, paired right along with his immense bravery, is his determination to do what needs to be done, his determination to do what is Right (and yes, that is Right with a capital R, I’m talking greater good here), regardless of the danger it puts him in, regardless of the odds. It doesn’t matter how insurmountable the odds, it doesn’t matter how massive the foe, it doesn’t matter what the personal risk to himself is, what it is he has to give up, what it is he’s potentially sacrificing, whether it’s his health, safety, happiness (my god he doesn’t think even once about that one), or even his own life. He will stand against those odds, he will fight, and he will never fucking stop fighting, not because he thinks himself a hero, but because someone has to do it, it has to be done, whatever this threat is has to be stopped, and he’s there, so he’s going to stop it. 

And it’s a bit difficult to put into words why, exactly, I think that’s one of his most shining qualities, especially when the admittedly alarmingly recklessness he has with his own life and safety is actually somewhat of a problem (especially for those that love him, because tbh any gray hairs Sycamore has or ends up with could probably be attributed to Alan). But at the end of the day it comes down to the fact that Alan blends so many traits which I find admirable into one. He has sheer, unflinching determination; he’s incredibly brave and just; and he’s selfless, doing this not for himself or for personal glory, but for others. He agreed to work for Lysandre to a.) protect Professor Sycamore, and b.) use mega evolution energy for peaceful purposes. He re-dedicated himself to gathering mega evolution energy to heal Hari-san, and bring back Manon’s smile. He was horrified when he saw what Lysandre actually did, and he turned against him (and, in the process, stood up to his own abuser) because it was the Right Thing to do. Hell, even before that, he went up against Primal Groudon and Primal Kyogre because Steven made it pretty clear that both primal legendaries were going to destroy the world unless they were stopped, and so Alan decided that, since someone had to stop them, he was going to do it. He made it pretty clear when Manon asked that, yes, he did have to fight against the world’s destruction. Someone had to do it, and it was going to be him, because he cannot stand by and let the world end like that. Not like that. Not without a fight. Not when he still has at least a drop of warm blood in his veins.

Alan’s best quality—or at least, one of his best qualities, out of many—is his sheer determination to do what must be done because it is Right, at least according to his own internal sense of morality, which (as it is with all Gryffindors) is pretty goddamn strong. He defends and protects because he feels that doing so is the Right Thing to do. And he defends and protects not only those closest to him (though especially them), but everyone, because he cares about everyone, and would (and has) defend(ed) the entire fucking planet regardless of what they think about him, without even a second of hesitation, because in his mind that’s exactly what his strength is for. His strength, and Lizardon’s strength (same strength, really, because they are two as one) is strength meant to protect, to defend, to fight for those who need it. He’s no hero, at least not in his mind. He’s just the one who’s going to stop whoever or whatever it is that’s threatening the lives of innocent people this time.

His self-worth (or lack thereof) and the reckless abandon with which he treats his own life is an issue, but goddamn if his determination to do what is Right and protect those that need it isn’t one of his most shining qualities. 

Worst Quality:

So, aside from the alarming disregard for his own life and safety, Alan has a very, very bad habit of bottling up the things that bother or hurt him to avoid being a burden on those he cares about, and taking everything—pretty much everything—onto his own shoulders without saying a word about it to anyone else, because he, again, doesn’t want to endanger or hurt those he loves.

Part of this can be attributed to the guilt/shame and isolation/independence complexes he has as a result of his C-PTSD, which he has as a result of the prolonged abuse Lysandre doled out on him (in my headcanon there was also abuse in his early childhood, prior to Sycamore adopting him, which also helped contribute to his personality developing the way it has, even though Sycamore helped heal a lot of that damage). It can also be partially attributed to his naturally protective nature, as explained above. In fact, I’d say it’s a direct combination of these two things: Alan doesn’t want to be a burden on others, and he feels ashamed and disgusted with himself when he is, when his weakness puts others out or places a burden on them (especially if they’re people he cares about and feels he should be strong for/protecting / people he already feels he owes a great debt to somehow). He feels, particularly since Lysandre drilled this into him, that he has to be strong enough to handle things on his own and that involving others (e.g. Sycamore) could place them in danger. And on top of all of that, as explained above, Alan has a naturally protective nature. He wants to protect and defend others. He can’t do that, he feels, if he’s directly placing them in harm’s way by asking them to help him, and so in order to keep them safe he pushes them away and isolates himself. Better that he suffers alone than to have them suffer, even though they worry so much about him when he’s off doing his thing that, in a way, they’re suffering anyway. (Hence, his attempt at saving them from burdens like this backfires spectacularly.)

On top of being a flaw due to the way this causes others to worry about him, it’s also a flaw due to how much damage it honestly does to him emotionally. You all know the saying about how you shouldn’t bottle up your emotions, and that’s true; but the fact of the matter here is that Alan keeps quiet not only about external things that are giving him grief, but he also internalizes and bottles up all of his self-loathing, his anxieties, his fears. He swallows it down and keeps it in there so that it can just echo around in his head day in, and day out. It festers. It grows. And he gets so used to swallowing this down and internalizing it that he normalizes it, even without realizing that he’s doing so. That makes it stronger, which leads to intrusive thoughts. And all of this—or at least so very much of it—is something that those who love him would be more than happy to help him with, would be more than happy to dispel, to tell him that these awful things he thinks about himself, that he blames himself for, aren’t true / aren’t his fault, but they aren’t given a chance because Alan keeps quiet about it and says that he’s fine if asked. (Unless you’re Lizardon. He tells Lizardon, which helps some, but then he also feels guilty about endangering Lizardon all the time, so. Oh, and he did open up to Ash, amazingly, in XYZ044. Ash is so good for him, but more on that soon.)

Lastly, this is also dangerous for him physically, because as we saw in TSME 2, Alan will lie about and hide physical injuries and say he’s fine despite them. He’s injured again (to the point of being rendered temporarily unconscious) in TSME 3, and yet he refused rest and insisted he was fine in TSME 4. Likewise, he self-harms multiple times throughout the Flare arc (by punching the ground/walls), and yet he still continues on as if nothing’s wrong. He’s got a very high pain tolerance, which is useful, but these injuries can turn into something much greater if left untreated, and yet Alan just swallows it all down and pretends it’s not a problem, dealing with it entirely on his own later. So tl;dr, Alan’s tendency to shoulder every burden on his own, to not tell anyone about it, to keep it all to himself because he doesn’t want to burden/endanger anyone … that, especially in the eyes of those who love and worry about and want to help him, is definitely far from his best quality.

Ship Them With:

Romantically I don’t ship him with anyone, because I view Alan as being aromantic/asexual. However, I do enjoy imagining him in queer-platonic partnerships (QPPs) with multiple characters, including:

Ash, because in all honesty, while Ash is technically ten in the XY&Z series, he doesn’t act it, and on a maturity level he and Alan are about equal as a result. Plus, this relationship is so good and pure, and so good especially for Alan, just … it’s a QPP, it’s not romantic/sexual anyway, just let me have this.

Zinnia, at least in the context of my Delta Episode AU, but also in general.

Kiawe, mostly because I just imagine Kiawe has THE BIGGEST crush on him when they meet in an AU where Alan goes to Alola (not quite To Devour the Sun, because of circumstances, but—maybe in an AU of that AU? I’m incorrigible), and tbh it’s adorable—so mostly one-sided from Kiawe’s side, but I see them getting along really well, and I see Alan definitely wanting to keep in touch after the fact!

Brotp Them With:

LIZARDON, his platonic soul mate, because honestly, does this need saying?

Professor Sycamore, his dad. Best father-son duo. ♥

Gabby (he’s the one who brought her home, she adores him, asdfsa)

Ash, even with the QPP mentioned above, because this relationship is so good and important.

Manon

Bonnie

Clemont

Meyer

Steven Stone

(“Scrawlers that is a lot—” AND HE DESERVES EVERY ONE OF THEM, OK.)

Needs to Stay Away From:

LYSANDRE, though now that Bonnie had Squishy murder Lysandre, that shouldn’t be a problem anymore. ♥

In To Devour the Sun, tbh he needs to stay away from the Aether Foundation and especially Lusamine, but, uh … it’s a little too late for that one. >_>;;

Honestly, in general, his loved ones would really appreciate if he could stay away from things likely to cost him his life. When he is Champion and Manon is one of his Elite, she swears she has her hands full trying to make sure he doesn’t get his ass killed. Which, you know, is part of her job, and she knows this, and it’s the entire reason why she took this job, but for Xerneas’ sake, Alan, could you please, please stop nearly getting yourself killed for the sake of the planet? The planet is not worth this!!(“Yes it is,” Alan says.Manon just glares at him and holds up her phone. “Wanna call the Professor and ask him??”)

Misc. Thoughts:

LIGHT OF MY LIFE, VALIANT DRAGON SON, HONESTLY I’VE NEVER RELATED TO A CHARACTER MORE, I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANY OTHER FICTIONAL CHARACTER, IF FUCKERS WANT TO HATE ON HIM THEN THEY CAN COME DOWN HERE AND FUCKING FIGHT ME, LITERALLY MY REACTION WHENEVER I SEE SOMEONE HATING ON ALAN:

I EARNED MY PLACE IN THE ALAN DEFENSE SQUAD AND I WILL NEVER LEAVE IT, NOT EVER, MEET ME IN THE GODDAMN PIT BUT BE WARNED THAT ONLY ONE OF US IS CLIMBING BACK OUT AND IT’S NOT GOING TO BE YOU. 

…

… Anyway, I love Alan a lot.