#ecclesiastic boogaloo

[cromsferatu]

Catholicism Simulator 2

[ingridverse]

Is one of the fruits a tomato?

I know if I get an answer to this it's most probably gonna be "wait and see". But I'd like to try the odds.

In the trailer when Aziraphale draws the magic circle (not sure if it's called that exactly) is he trying to contact god again? Or is he maybe trying to contact some sort of healing angel? Or is it some sort of healing ritual.

He's trying to summon a magic gorilla, in order to obtain one of the four fruits of the apocalypse (in this case, the Banana of Doom).

[samueldays]

Shared Universe Blunders 2: Immunity to Exceptions to Immunity

Part of a rambling series. Shared universes, also their relatives long-running series and kitchen-sink settings.

A great many games feature some kind of "Immunity to [element]" mechanic. A common one is Undead being immune to Poison. Sometimes the immunity is absolute, sometimes it has a deliberate exception written into the original immunity rules.

And sometimes a new attack is written to say it's an exception to someone else's previously stated immunity rules. "This super-poison attack can poison creatures that would otherwise be immune to poison." IMO, this is almost always a mistake.

In games with multiple expansions, patches, or errata, this can turn into a meta-game of which faction or unit most recently had an author on board, because the author of the original immunity may come back and say "No, stop that" and reword the original rule into a clunking paragraph like:

"Undead are immune to all poisons, even being immune to super-poisons that overcome immunity. This immunity cannot be bypassed. Super-poison is limited to poisoning humans with a ring of immunity, it's not for poisoning skeletons that don't have any poisonable organs."

Then another author/developer who really dislikes the undead might get clever and figure that if he doesn't use the word "poison", then he can still write an immunity-bypassing attack that inflicts the effects of poison on a target that it hits. In D&D, specifically, this resulted in the publication of "ravages", poison-like holy substances that had debilitating effects on undead and demons.

Ravages were a bad idea.

D&D already had Holy Water that dealt damage to undead and demons, it really didn't need a Holy Water 2: Ecclesiastic Boogaloo whose mechanics were a blatant ripoff of the Poison mechanics but with the word "Poison" replaced by "Ravage".

Tabletop games and videogames give the clearest examples of this, IMO, but the problem is also widespread in fantasy novels, fiction more generally, movies, and to some extent law, of using an overly strong word like "immunity" or "absolute" or "plenary" and then carving out exceptions and caveats until the thing should just have been called "quite strong". This plaque provides absolute sanctuary... then it doesn't. This attack is utterly unstoppable... then it's stopped. This spell is completely infallible... then it's foiled. This minister has total plenary authority... then that court says he overstepped. The US Constitution provides for the federal regulation of interstate commerce... then SCOTUS declares that growing wheat on one's own farm for one's own use is interstate commerce.

Done well, immunity-negation can be an interesting story of hubris and a false-in-character belief about one's invulnerability, the limits of power, and/or a reprise of the famous Achilles' heel.

It is usually not done well. It is often not done that way at all because of how the immunity-negation is introduced as a hamfisted retcon by a second author, where the first intended it to be a real immunity. It is a particular problem of shared settings, in my experience. It also makes a mockery of the word "immunity" when a narrative escalates too many times with "immunity-bypass" and "immunity to having my immunities bypassed" and so on.

(After the profusion of immunity-bypass in fiction, once may be too many times, because an author cannot credibly promise "It's really just this once" to a reader who's only partway through the book and has seen too many other books repeat the phenomenon.)

Immunity-bypassing effects also have bizarre effects on people's incentives. Case study from my gaming history in D&D 3.5th edition:

Like many combative games, Dungeons & Dragons has a notion of a critical hit, an attack which strikes some exposed weakpoint or lucky stroke to a vital organ, inflicting several times more damage than a normal attack, sometimes killing the target outright.

The core D&D 3.5 book provides two main means of immunity to critical hits: the first is to be a creature such as a skeleton or animated statue which lacks weakpoints or vulnerable organs, the second is to wear magical armor with the Fortification property.

The supplemental books provide ways of overcoming the first with the Grave-Strike and Golem-Strike spells, and Fortification armor can be temporarily nullified by spells such as (Greater) Dispel Magic.

The supplemental books also provide other ways of gaining immunity to critical hits, such as the Warshaper prestige class, representing a character trained in combat-oriented advanced shapeshifting to the point of forming redundant internal organs, moving them around in one's body, and regenerating injuries rapidly.

To my knowledge, no way of overcoming the Warshaper's immunity to critical hits was ever printed.

The generalization of this that I and several other D&D-players picked up on: Get your powers and immunities from as esoteric a source as possible. Intuitively, I think entirely organ-free undead running on Deathpower from the Deathdimension should be still more resistant to critical hits than a double-organs shapeshifter. In practice, undead were common and common things got targeted immunity-bypasses printed, while double-organ shapeshifters were rare and no counter had been printed to them.

This incentivized a bizarre and annoying playstyle where our characters operated on supplemental book material wherever possible, disdaining the semi-deprecated "standard" protections in the core books. Our standard was to be nonstandard. We were all, as they say, special snowflake mary sues. I am slightly ashamed of my were-giant-snake Fighter/Thief/Psychic/Warshaper/Uncarnate with Tattoo Magic.

One of the game organizers I played with eventually got sick of this and proclaimed a Fully General Nullifiers houserule. Instead of "bypassing the critical-hits-immunity of undead", the Grave-Strike spell was now "bypassing the critical-hits-immunity of literally everyone, no exceptions" and he could enforce the No Exceptions rule at his table on pain of kicking out anyone who tried to claim an exception.

This enforcement doesn't scale.

Neither does a gentleman's agreement, which another table used.

I suspect the general case of the problem may be unsolvable. Anything one author says about absolute powers, another can contradict. Your best bet is probably for the designers to create a culture and an understanding early on of why the shared universe should keep the absolute powers it currently has, which requires some foresight and planning.

Another problem with immunity shenanigans is that they undermine dramatic tension and suspension of disbelief. If protagonist Shooty McShootyface has been shooting his way through the Fey Court until he gets to the immune-to-bullets Fairy Queen, suddenly he has to get clever and find another way around the problem, such as offering mercenary work to shoot something the Fairy Queen wants shot, or threatening to shoot something the Fairy Queen loves.

With immunity shenanigans in play, the readers may simply roll their eyes and think "McShootyface is going to shoot extra hard and overcome the Fairy Queen's immunity to bullets, isn't he?" The setting gets flattened into shooting bigger numbers.

This is aggravated in shared universes, where an author who really wants to write a McShootyface protagonist may disregard (and be more likely to disregard) previously established bullet-immunities in other books by other authors. Then perhaps the first author retcons it back in again with the apparent impact of bullets on the Fairy Queen, who is very definitely immune to bullets but faked her own death in a clever plot which reveals that McShootyface was a pawn of her schemes all along, a literary elbow-jogging to the other author. The readers may get a sense that the universe doesn't have internal consistency, it has depending-on-the-author variation.

[shieldfoss]

Holy Water 2: Ecclesiastic Boogaloo

[centaurianthropology]

Non-Supernatural TMA Episode Descriptions

I tried my hand writing brief descriptions of each of the episodes with all supernatural influences removed, and the results amused me.  They also made me realize that, sans the supernatural, the TMA universe is one where exterminators and mental health professionals have to be in HUGE demand.

Anyway, I posted my silly summaries here, for this is a trash post, and I am a trash poster.

SEASON 1

Man wisely does not give drunk creeper in an alley a cigarette.

Man makes a deal with a smuggler while high.  Ends up babysitting a box for months.  Uses it as a coffee table.

The dude across the street has psych issues, and should probably invest in some curtains.

Man buys incredibly valuable book in a thrift store!  Too bad he can’t read Latin.

Trash collectors see some really weird shit.

Man overreacts to finding out his one-night-stand had an STD.  Burns his sheets.  Burns his bed.  Burns his apartment.

War is hell.

Builder takes hallucinations out on a tree.

Turns out, being the child of a serial killer fucks you up.

Homeless man has violent delusions.  Also can guess your age very accurately.

Depressed man has some fucked up dreams.  Could benefit from Sertraline.

Working A&E at Christmas is the worst.  

Several reasons why you shouldn’t drive after your fiancé’s funeral.

Vengeance, criminal discovers, is a double-edged sword.

Spelunking with your sister is all fun and games until someone PLAYS THAT KNOCKING-ON-MY-HELMET PRANK ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, ALENA!

Anxious man should probably put the exterminator on speed dial.  And get therapy.

Man discovers fanfiction, and is forever scarred.

Upstairs neighbor’s dramatic failure in basic sanitation makes selling a flat challenging.

The Catholic Church should have better mental health oversight for its employees

The Catholic Church should have better mental health oversight for its employees II: Ecclesiastic Boogaloo

Skydiving instructor dies while on the ground.  Irony.

Martin’s apartment is infested, but he fails to call the landlord.  Wonders why the problem persists.

Victorian ideas of entertainment often involved graveyards.  Why?  Because Victorians were morbid fuckers who liked posing with their dead relatives and taking photos.

Being a shitty boyfriend to the granddaughter of a carnie was, on reflection, a poor choice.

Roommate finds a new church and can’t shut up about it.

Sasha makes a new friend, and nothing bad happens ever.

Old man’s grief not well understood or supported.

Ghost hunting show finds no ghosts.

This is your brain.  This is your brain on gambling.

Why slaughter houses have such a high rate of turnover.

Hunting is not as glamorous as man imagined it would be.

Woman has breakdown about bugs.  At this point, there should be a support group for all these people.

The challenges of being a woman in a male-dominated industry.

The worst part about teaching is the students.

Builders discover a historically significant area bricked off in the basement.  Owners don’t want to pay for restoration.

Funeral home director finds nursing homes depressing and creepy.

Man discovers ritual space in the woods, proceeds to accidentally wreck it.  Would probably be upset if someone did the same to his church.

Forgetful man blames a vase.

Martin’s little bug problem spreads to his place of work, because THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T TELL YOUR LANDLORD ABOUT THESE ISSUES, MARTIN.

Sasha and Elias call an exterminator.  Problem solved.  Everyone learns a valuable lesson, and NOTHING BAD HAPPENS EVER.

SEASON 2

Following the bug incident, Sims takes long walks to clear his head.  This does not work as well as anyone hoped.

The most metal band in London.

The police see some weird shit.

Small child finds the circus traumatic.

Medical research team fails to follow HIPPA regulations.  Is shut down.

Antiquarian bookseller sells things to weird guy.  Makes a new friend.

Estate agent stalked by guy with large hands.  

Traveling alone has its pros and cons.

PI should have called in the police when he discovered mob ties in his most recent case.

Petty architectural rivalries in Regency England.

Scuba team hopes to find valuables in wrecked ship.  Finds Nothing.

Prison guard is a dick.

Man visiting Egypt does not understand cultural differences.

Very cheerful IRS agent unphased by taxidermist.  Makes a new friend.

Landlord fails to take care of infestation plaguing tenants.  Maybe this was why no one bothers calling when these things happen.

Homeless man continues to have violent delusions.  Might need to join the traumatized-by-bugs support group.

Astronaut is the loneliest man … in the world.

All these problems could have been avoided with a walkthrough for Oregon Trail.

The foster system needs reforms, reason #8462.

Paranoid personality disorder in two acts.

[consultinghuntertimelord]

Ecclesiastes 2: Electric Boogaloo

does life any form of meaning

Meaning is stupid. Just fuck around.

[jotawakening-blog]

7 Septober, 5A 169: Danger Noodle Boogaloo

I sadly underestimated the work that it would take to become proficient with the snake flute… I mean, I know I wasn’t a good piano player as a kid, but the flute seemed easier, somehow.  Fewer places to put your fingers.  But no: while I can produce a simple melody, it just doesn’t seem to do anything to attract a snake’s attention, and so they just slither away and I’m left hanging.  At around midday, I give up and come back from the banks of the Elid into town, where I enjoy a refreshing drink of camel yoghurt and then hole up in my room in the inn, away from any Menaphites who might be wondering why the traitor in their ranks hasn’t been taken out yet.  Perhaps my luck will turn tomorrow, or perhaps I need a more vigorous way of persuading the snake-charmer to betray his secrets…

Name: Dame Elisandre Plainview the Grey v. Ashdale &z. Rimmington, CG

Date of Birth: 16 Novtumber, 5A 149

Reputation: 112 (Hero)

Brushes with the Reaper: 3

Treasure Trails Completed: 1/0/0/0

Organisational Memberships: Last of the Grey Wizards; Knight of the Round Table; Temple Knight Initiate; White Knight Novice; Veteran Agent of the Burthorpe Imperial Guard; Agent of the Keldagrim Black Guard; Partner, Doric and Son Smithy; Member of the Champions’ Guild, the Lumbridge Thieves’ Guild, the Edgeville Monastic Order, the Black Arm Gang and the Skulls Gang.

Slayer Of: the Demon Delrith, the Murder Mage Solus Dellagar, Count Draynor Drakan, the Sea Monster Agoroth, the Necromancers Morwenna the Cruel and Dragith Nurn (for now…), General Khazard’s Warlord, The False Kendal, “Fritz” the Witch’s Experiment, the Goblin Pretenders Brokeface, Stinkears and Lumpnose, the Menaphites Apep and Heru and the Cultists Caitlin, Reece and Alomone.  

Bester Of: Amascut, the Devourer (Twice); the Zamorakian Mage Ellaron the Red; the HAM Cultist Sigmund (Twice); The Mad Sister Anna.

Claims to Fame: Saviour of Dorgesh-Kaan, the Wizards’ Tower, the Tree Gnome Village, Ashdale, Prince Ali Mirza, the Wizard Merlin, the Priest Drezel, the Healer Elena, the Menfolk of Rimmington, Tolna’s Soul and Doric’s Business; Defender of Varrock and Draynor Village; Broker of Peace between Lumbridge and the Dorgeshuun, and Rellekka and the Mountain Tribe; Catalyst of the Foundation of Gunnarsgrunn (Via Interracial Matchmaking); Wielder of Silverlight and Excalibur; Co-Reclaimer of the Shield of Arrav; Concluder of the Lumbridge Blood Pact.

High Crimes and Misdemeanours: Betrayer of the Rune Mysteries, Instigator of the Sophanem Plague

Other Points of Distinction: Goblin Diplomat (Terrestrial and Subterranean); Murder Investigator (Secular and Ecclesiastical); Palace Burglar; Pyramid Raider and Restorer; Assistant to the Druids of Taverley, the Lumbridge Castle Cook (Twice) and the Shaman Trufitus; Assistant in the Discovery of the West Ardougne Plague Hoax and the Ascension of Filliman Tarlock; Friend of the Ardougne Monks; Finisher of the Tower of Life; Thwarter of the Hazeel Cult; Rester of Jhallan’s Bones; Subterranean Wayfinder, Survivor of the Queen Black Dragon’s Stomach, Soother of Restless Ghosts, Re-Humaniser of Chickens, Purveyor of Counterfeit Swords, Arms Dealer to the Artisans’ Workshop, the Burthorpe Imperial Guard and the Goblin Generals, Coal Prospector, Elemental and Mind Crafter, Herder and Shearer of Sheep, Herder and Dyer of Cats, Seasoner of Magical Goulash, Baker of Terrible Pies (Against Predatory Capitalism), Collector of Bones, Furs and Beads, Thief of Chalices and Totems, Finder of One-Eyed Hector and King Baxtorian’s Treasures, Retriever of Lost Balls, Frightener of Trolls, Fixer of Clocks and Telescopes; Cannon Engineer; Historical Preservationist; Raider of the Old Edgeville Jail; Scout of Lumbridge, Falador, the Kharidian Desert and Karamja; Explorer of the White Lands; Dreamer of Cabbages; In Touch with Her Dark Side.