#earth-711

[esonetwork]

Asteroid City Movie Review

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/asteroid-city-movie-review/

Asteroid City Movie Review

Amidst all the big summer blockbusters comes counter programming from Wes Anderson. Mike, Mike, Ashley, and Matt Sweatman take a look at a close encounter of the quirky kind. Plus, Creative Outlet with Gough aka “Mr. Eligible” and Shout Outs.

We want to hear from you! Feedback is always welcome. Please write to us at feedback@earthstationone.com and subscribe and rate the show on Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Google Play, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, wherever fine podcasts are found, and now we can be found on our own YouTube Channel.

Links The Earth Station One Website Earth Station One on Apple Podcasts The New Earth Station One YouTube Channel Earth Station One on Stitcher Radio Earth Station One on Spotify Past Episodes of The Earth Station One Podcast Angela’s A Geek Girl’s Take Ashley’s Box Office Buzz Michelle’s Iconic Rock Talk Show Elaine and Matt Watch TV Beernuts Productions Story Geeks: Raiders of the Lost Ark How Stories Work: Raiders of the Lost Ark

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If you would like to leave feedback or a comment on the show please feel free to email us at feedback@earthstationone.com

[coquelicoq]

if you're wondering what the big deal is about the louis-philippe sentence in les misérables, it is, in the original french, 760 words long. the subject of the sentence doesn't appear until 95% of the way through, at word #711; the main verb is word #712. the sentence contains 91 commas and 49 semicolons and is almost entirely a list of laudatory adjectival phrases describing the erstwhile king of france. this is perhaps especially notable because les mis is, shall we say, not known for being particularly gung-ho about the monarchy.

this sentence copied and pasted into Word takes up more than one page single-spaced. in the 1800-page folio classique edition, it is fully two and a half of those 1800 pages. that means that les mis is 0.14% this single sentence. more of les mis is made up of this sentence than earth's atmosphere is made up of carbon dioxide (0.04%). if the page count of les mis stayed the same but every sentence was the length of this one, les mis would consist of only 720 sentences total.

incidentally, guess who named hugo a peer of france 17 years before the publication of les mis?

[haemey]

Introducing my hella ambitious fanfic project: Credo

Screw it. I was going to wait with posting and uploading until I got further along, but nah, I'm way too impatient. And with the Ao3 servers back up earlier than expected after maintenance, what better time than the present?

Credo will be a series of Good Omens fanfics for which I treat the Nicean-Constantinopolitan Creed (aka Credo, Latin for "I believe," variations whereof are an indispensable part of many Christian liturgies) as a series of writing prompts. Most of the fics therein will be short oneshots, with many coming in under 1k words. At least one will be a long, multi-chapter fic (which I will only start uploading once I know I can finish it). For some of them, I will follow the original line from the Credo rather closely, others will be rather... abstract.

There will be silliness and fluff, there will be hurt and angst. There will be both comedy and tragedy. Everything will be sfw, most will be G or T rated. If there is an M rating, it will be because of really dark themes and high pain levels.

The fics will come out as I write them, so they won't be in order. I will arrange them correctly within the series, though. They can be read in any order though, since they will all work as standalones, even though, in my mind at least, they're all set in the same universe and might sometimes give additional context to one another.

Some will be plotty, others will just be character studies or theme explorations.

In other words, there will be something for everyone!

We'll begin with the first two, one for each of our Ineffables:

Credo in unum Deum, patrem omnipotentem (I believe in the one God, the Almighty Father), 711 words, G rated:

An exploration of Aziraphale's relationship with God and Heaven after Season 2. No plot, no set timeline, just thoughts and doubts.

Factorem Coeli et Terrae (The Maker of Heaven and Earth), 569 words, G rated:

Crowley reflecting on Creation. Just that.

I hope you give these a try, come along for the journey, and if you do, please tell me what you think!

Art by me :)

Edit: Ooooh, forgot to tag @goodomensafterdark :D

[transformersslutt]

Watching Transformers G1 Part 711

Why does this version of Earth have so many random energy-producing rocks everywhere and why do the Decepticons keep finding it before anyone else?

[angelkiyo]

in bloom [sakusa kiyoomi x fem! indie actress! reader]

chapter ii + masterlist [fluff, modern/timeskip au]

🎧 (suggested song: homesick - wave to earth)

You bit your lip and started running to your apartment complex. Your heart was running at a thousand miles per hour and you felt overwhelmed.

He’s more handsome than before… FUCK!

Once you got to your destination, you slammed the door, startling your roommate, Hitoka who was in the living room watching a rom-com with her boyfriend Tadashi.

You’ve gotten to know Hitoka since your orientation day for university. For Tadashi, they’ve dated since their third year of high school and you’ve been friends with them ever since.

They were there when you first got a bit of clout as a “rising” actress (A film you were in got some publicity from social media because of the aesthetics and people liked you for your performance and looks), so you make sure to treat them any chance you get.

Hitoka and Tadashi ran to your startled figure, crouched down, “N/N. are you okay?!” Tadashi rubbed your back, “Is everything okay, Y/N?”

You gave them a stiff smile as you stood up, rubbing your temples, “I’m okay it’s just- do you two remember when we were at the grocery store? And after that I couldn’t stop talking about my ex-boyfriend?”

They both nodded, “Where are you going with this?”

Your lips went into a straight line as you sighed, “I just ran into him at the 711 mini-mart a block away.”

They both widened their eyes, “YOU RAN INTO HIM?!”

Hitoka narrowed her eyes, “What does he even look like now? He’s probably unsuccessful and has nothing on you. Is there anything we can talk shit about?”

You sighed. You never really told Hitoka or Tadashi about who he really is.

All they know is that he broke up with you for no reason and his name is Kiyo, not the fact that he is Sakusa Kiyoomi of the MSBY Black Jackals and one of the wealthiest volleyball players in Asia and Europe combined.

“Well uh, it just looked like he- um, he’s taller and his black hair got shorter and wavier?”

Tadashi raised his eyebrow, “That’s like half of Japan’s male population.”

You froze and yawned. You didn't know what else to say and ran out of excuses to escape interrogation , “I’ll tell you two tomorrow. Good night!”

“But-?”

You shut your bedroom door and went onto your laptop to find him on your socials.

He’s gotten verified too since last time I checked…

It hurts your ego to admit you’ve been stalking him since you’ve seen his face on the billboard for a Calvin Klein advertisement two months ago. (You felt your friends pry you away from gawking at his jean advertisement)

You’ve even tried to move on from him by downloading In Bloom (You saw an ad on Insta while stalking him).

You didn’t know what you thought as you just attempted to block him (he didn’t even follow you).

Just to spite him (you still liked him after 3 years).

All over him posting a few hours ago on the same day you bumped into him? (Yes, but you’re trying to move on. He's the one who broke up with you anyway).

At this point, you weren't even aware of what you accidentally did next.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

firstnamelastname followed you.

What…?

Kiyoomi thought he was seeing things. I mean, he was drinking his spiked tea but he isn't exactly a lightweight when it came to drinking.

You followed his social media?

He decided to follow back as he felt his stomach drop. He didn't know why you would follow him or what?

Maybe it was because he was "famous" or whatever.

Maybe because you wanted to see what he does now?

You were in a movie? Do you still like volleyball? Do you know who MSBY is?

Several thoughts were going through his head. Why would you even follow him in the first place? He felt so much guilt just looking at your picture of what he did to you. To you two.

He stared at your account intensely, only to have his thoughts interrupted by his cousin.

He had just moved in with his cousin a week ago since Komori wanted a roommate and the apartment was closer to his practice gym than his old apartment. It was convenient.

"Yo Kiyoomi, are you eating?"

He turned to see Motoya in his fluffy bathrobe, yawning, "Damn it man, it's so late. What the hell are you still doing? I thought practice usually ends at like 9."

Kiyoomi shrugged and went back to stalking you, "Getting some food. I was hungry. Hey-"

Motoya snorted as he took his phone to see your social media pulled up, "Now who is this...Y/N L/N? Haven't heard of her since Itachiyama. Why do you have her pulled up?"

Kiyoomi froze a bit. If there was one person he would tell anything to, it's Motoya. You're the only thing he's never brought up to him. All his cousin would assume is that you two were familiar with each other and that's it, not aware that Kiyoomi and you were a thing.

"I'm just curious as to what she's doing, y'know?" He said, sighing. You were in Itachiyama's girls volleyball club and were at the school in the first place because of a scholarship.

Of course he knew who you were in that sense.

Though, to Kiyoomi, you used to be so much more.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

April 2014

"Y'know you could have totally won, you just were going easy on me." Kiyoomi laughed, stretching his arm to your shoulders.

It was the day before the new term began and Kiyoomi was walking you home from his place after binging movies like Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill and playing chess.

You kissed his cheek and laughed, "It's not my fault you suck at chess."

He hummed. He felt at peace with you. You two had only dated for 2 months as you both formally 'met' at a unisex volleyball camp the break between your first year and second year of high school.

You had the same homeroom too, but just never paid attention to each other until then. You two had a casual friendship, occasionally being partnered up for projects and getting closer as his boundaries started becoming weaker towards you. You were the one who confessed to him anyway after school. He just couldn’t reject you and the mutual feelings between you both.

You held his hand and swung it softly between you two as you walked, "Do you plan to go to that party that Nekoma person is hosting this weekend? Tetsuro, I think his name is?"

He knew that name due to him being the former Nekoma Boys Volleyball captain, "I don't know, I wouldn't want to go, but Motoya is probably going to force me."

Your lips formed into a fine line and you sighed, "Kiyoomi, it would be cool if you wanted to have some fun once in a while. Break out of your shell. I mean you're popular. I'm pretty sure if you go, you'd have some fun."

He pursed his lips and shrugged, "I guess but I don't know. Would you want me to go?"

You sighed, "I mean you choose, it's completely your choice, Kiyo. But it would be cool if you went. You can text me all about it the next day!”

He knew that Motoya would be excited that he would voluntarily want to go (because you encouraged him to go) but felt a bit sad that you couldn't go anyway. You had a weekend theatre camp to attend and was gone the whole weekend.

I mean he would need something to do. His parents would be out on their anniversary weekend and his siblings are gone on the weekend in general.

Once you were at home, you turned to Kiyoomi and pointed to your phone, "Text me, pretty boy. Good night." You pecked his cheek and smiled.

He stared at you as you went home, waving to you as you turned back before shutting the door.

He was completely enamored by you.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

“Oh you have In Bloom? Hah, you’re finally getting a girl?”

Kiyoomi forgot Motoya had his phone and frowned, “Shut up, I was curious.”

Motoya snatched it back and sat down next to Kiyoomi at the table to look at his profile, “And you have nothing on your account! Damn it, Kiyoomi. At least try to look for a girl…”

“Motoya, what the hell are you doing?”

He snorted as he started typing, “Getting you some girls, that’s what.”

in bloom 🌷

Name & Age: Kiyoomi S. - 26

Info: 🇯🇵, Volleyball Player, 6’4.

ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Kiyoomi looked at the information Motoya put down, “Why’d you put my height on there?”

His cousin shrugged while taking a sip of his cousin’s tea, “Girls like tall dudes. I just helped you here, man.”

He cringed after taking a sip, “Fuck, Kiyoomi. I knew you had issues but that doesn’t mean you have to drown yourself in shitty alcohol.”

Kiyoomi snatched the bottle and closed it, “It looked tempting and I do not have issues.”

“Yeah right. You can’t even find a girlfriend. You’ve never had one!”

Before Kiyoomi could say anything, Motoya stood up and yawned, pointing at him, “You owe me.”

He really did owe him. He just hoped it would be worth it.

Kiyoomi looked back at his cousin and yawned, “Yeah whatever, good night.”

As he went to the bathroom to take a shower, he recollected all his thoughts.

You.

You remembered him.

You followed him. Would you still want to talk to him?

After all, he did cheat on you.

.

.

.

a/n- should i make a taglist..? idk but thanks for reading :))

[visenyaism]

my fav thing about the fire and blood narrative holes is that nothing really happening re:war and conflict in jaehaerys’ entire 50 year reign means that for probably the first and only time in valyrian history dragons were predominately used as transportation for like six people and that’s it. fourteen flames the vhagar and caraxes you put on this earth light people on fire and kill each other are being used to get to 711 quicker

[thraxxia]

the eclipse of the moon and sun was free to see therefore made $0.00 and it was called one of the most beautiful things on earth to experience. twilight: new moon made $711 million in the box office. in this essay i will

[theelderhazelnut]

Warnings: none

Pairing: Ombra x Alex

Characters: Ombra, Alex Demir ( @chadillacboseman )

Words Count: 711

Summary: Ombra has a lil migraine attack and Alex takes care of her.

Author’s Note: This is just a very cute scene that I won’t forgive Tara for putting it in my head.

Writing Taglist (to be added/removed): @vivilovespink @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @confidentandgood @spacestephh @takiisieju-moved @inafieldofdaisies @carlosoliveiraa @gearvmac @bloody-arty-myths @zoetheneko @hi-thisiszira @admin-pipes @mitsuko-saito @malewifefirestar @krysta-cross @elderglocks @cassietrn @breakfwest @nightbloodbix @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @ninibear3000 @aceghosts @sinclxirx @gavincruikshanksexhusband @voidika @orbitinytheworld @strangefable @cloudofbutterflies92 @bihanspookies @valyrra @simonxriley

“Where does it hurt exactly?” Alex asked as he walked up to the bed after he turned off the big light. I drew an imaginary rectangle on my eyebrows where most of my headaches attacked.

He reclined on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Then he hooked his arm beneath my knees, and with a swift motion I was curled up on top of him. He pressed my head to his chest, and kissed the space between my eyebrows. His lips touched my skin so gently as if I was a fragile blossom.

He was so warm. I closed my eyes and inhaled his sweet scent. Like the rain to a dying forest, it added a few more days to my lifespan.

A weak smile stretched my dry lips. “That was better than any of those meds.”

A toothy grin wrinkled his eyes. God knew for how long I could be lost in those tiny little lines.

I put my hand on his, and brought his thumb to my lips, kissing it with such delicacy.

“I guess I’ll have to follow you around all day to make sure you’re taking good care of my gölge.” Alex mumbled.

I chuckled a silent laugh. “That’s okay. I’ve had worse.”

His smile dropped as he looked at me dead in the eyes.

“No seriously this is okay!” I chuckled a bit louder as I squirmed in his arms. Suddenly, another pulse of pain rushed to my forehead.

His smile returned as he leaned in to give a peck on my lips. All of a sudden, the doomed images of him abandoning me struck my mind like a ruthless thunder. It had become a part of my daily routine to fight with this daymare, and that night wasn’t an exception. He would eventually see the stains of blood on my hands. He would see what I truly was. And he would run away, disgusted and terrified. But I would beg him on my knees to stay.

“Would you…” I paused for a moment, not sure if it was the right moment. “Would you please never leave me, no matter what?” I whispered, tides of worry washing over my eyes. This sudden outburst of emotions surprised even myself.

Alex leaned in, his lips just a few millimeters away from my ear. “Canım, I’ll follow you wherever you go. To the ends of the Earth and back. I’ll die for you. I’ll kill for you. I’ll turn the world upside down if you ask me to.”

As each word danced out of his mouth, I felt my heart melting down my rib cage, its warmth igniting my insides. The tornado of thoughts perished in an instant. I wanted to rip my chest apart so he could see it himself, so he could see what he did to me. A lump in my throat blocked my throat, and my lips began to slowly tremble. For the first time in forever, I didn’t care if someone would see me crying. I didn’t care if I seemed vulnerable because that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted him to see my love pouring out of my eyes for him. Crying would worsen my headache, but I could tolerate any pain as long as he was by my side.

I covered my mouth and nose with my hands. Painfully, my eyebrows arched backwards, and streams of tears poured down from the sides of my face. All the definitions of heaven were summarized in him. What else could I ask for?

Through my blurred vision, I saw that Alex’s eyes widened in disbelief. Surely, he wasn’t expecting such a strong reaction from me.

“Wha-O-Ombra are you okay? Did I-“ He stuttered.

His gaze softened as I shook my head. “Then what is this for, Canım?”

I stared up at him with watery eyes and shaky lips. For the first time, I didn’t have to wipe those tears away.

Because I was safe.

“I-,” The lump obstructed my throat, and only three words could escape. “I love you.”

My chest trembled as I let out a silent sob.

“Güzelim,” He kissed my checkbone. “Seni daha fazla seviyorum. Now, don’t cry. Your headache will get worse.”

“It just did.”

Alex scoffed. “You know what? I hate you.”

[heckcareoxytwit]

A preview of Fantastic Four #18

FANTASTIC FOUR #18

THE SECRET OF FRANKLIN RICHARDS! Franklin Richards has been an immortal, a god, an Omega-level mutant—and more. He’s created life, entire universes, and been worshipped for it. He’s ended life and been cussed out with just as much sincerity. But there’s something else Franklin Richards has done—and is doing—that nobody else in the universe knows about. Also in this issue: An invisible asteroid threatening all life on Earth and the all-new S.H.I.E.L.D.!

LEGACY #711

Written by: Ryan North Art by: Carlos Gómez, Jesus Aburtov Cover by: Alex Ross Page Count: 28 Pages Release Date: March 20, 2024

[whimsicalmeerkat]

First Line Game

@dear-massacre tagged me for this awhile ago, but I’m a slacker. The idea is to post the first line from the last ten fics you posted and see if there’s a trend. I can’t decide on just 10 of my battleship fics and they all have the same date, so you get lines from all of them. I’m not sure if I should apologize or say you’re welcome.

Mostly random no-pressure tags: @definitively-different-drivel @thotpuppy @mswhich @calenlily @armanya

@mirrorthoughts @renmackree @eevylynn

1. just the way they want it, Perilous Courts - Tavia Lark, Corin Marcel/Audric Sandry, Explicit, No Archive Warnings, 2,230 words

Audric pulls Corin behind him up the stairs to his bedroom at the top of one of the tree towers of Sandrelle

2. monsters that walk the earth, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Teen, No Archive Warnings, 1,231 words

"Are you OK?" Derek asks Stiles after he's chased the rest of the pack out of his house.

3. with the monsters that talk, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale, Mature, No Archive Warnings, 1,204 words

Peter grits his teeth and stares at his sister, the queen

4. to mend a broken heart, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale, Explicit, Non-Con, Underage, 4,454 words

“That's right, darling.”

5. let’s explore together, Community of Species World - Louisa Masters, Percy Caraway/Brandt Draco, Explicit, No Archive Warnings, 1,505 words

"I haven't been able to explore Earth since I was a young dragon," Brandt says, finishing up what was a very slick PowerPoint presentation.

6. I would raze the earth to save you, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Teen, No Archive Warnings, 505 words

"Derek!"

7. preparing for a ritual, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Mature, No Archive Warnings, 420 words

"Are you sure this is how we get power for the ritual?" Stiles says, twisting from where he's sitting in the front seat of Derek's Camaro to squint suspiciously at Peter.

8. a most fitting end, Seducing the Sedgwicks - Cat Sebastian, Teen, No Archive Warnings, 477 words

Sir Humphrey Easterbrook finishes his barely passable meal and sits back with a sigh

9. at the break of day, Black Jewels - Anne Bishop, Daemon Sadi/Lucivar Yaslana, Mature, No Archive Warnings, 734 words

Lucivar stands on his balcony and stretches his wings, loving the way the sun feels on them

10. to be restored, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Mature, Underage, 9,136 words

It starts three days after Derek kills Peter.

11. stumble & a stutter, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Laura Hale, Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Teen, No Archive Warnings, 1,412 words

“I wish I could just go back and stop the fire and everything that’s happened since then,” Derek says, fisting his hands in his hair as the sound of Peter slamming the door on the way out of their their latest fight.

12. the devil gave me a crooked start, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale, Explicit, No Archive Warnings, 658 words

Derek looks up from his book, startled, as the door to the loft slams open.

13. let me be more than enough, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Explicit, Underage, 484 words

“Oh fuck.”

14. calm my fears and show me grace, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Teen, No Archive Warnings, 711 words

Derek decides he and Stiles should probably at least investigate the cloud of sex berry bush smoke, a sentence that is so absurd Derek can't believe he even has to think it.

15. Companion?, Original Work, Dragon/Human sacrificed to dragon, Gen, No Archive Warnings, 505 words

Jerrick is nervous.

16. high heels in the morning, Perilous Courts - Tavia Lark, Kazia Dire/Lucien Vaire, Explicit, No Archive Warnings, 2,330 words

Lucien walks into the throne room, gesturing for his drasguard to stay at the door.

17. all these saints are watching me, Perilous Courts - Tavia Lark, Kazia Dire/Lucien Vaire, Gen, No Archive Warnings, 916 words

Kazia is pinning the final strands of hair into place in the elaborate arrangement on his head.

18. dreaming as we ran, Ghostly Guardians - Louisa Masters, Ewan/Josh, Teen, No Archive Warnings, 1,143 words

"Yes ma'am, the ghosts are free to leave if they wish," Josh says patiently.

19. ain’t no grave gonna hold my body down, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Teen, Chose Not to Warn, 1,643 words

Stiles' Jeep hits something solid that seems to come from nowhere and Derek has a moment to think fuck, the trolls found us'before something else slams into the side and sends them flipping over, no, not just flipping—they're rolling over, across the road, and into the trees.

20. wolf like me, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Laura Hale, Mature, No Archive Warnings, 1,036 words

Laura jumps when Derek flings open the door of their apartment, then kicks it closed as soon as he's cleared the doorway

21. why not both?, Teen Wolf, Derek Hale/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Explicit, No Archive Warnings, 738 words

Stiles fidgets as Derek and Peter stare him down.

That’s all! I hope you enjoyed this and check out some of the stories!

[cowcat-with-a-hat]

parappa the rapper characterz that i think they would do drugz :3 (thiz iz a joke btw)

joe chin and my proof iz: that he sold me drugz outside of the 711 last thursday nite and they weren't even drugz they were hiz branded "joe chin super drugz" AND THEY WERE PIXIE STIX still very tasty tho highly reccomend

prince fleaswallow my proof iz: he mentionz in hiz song that hez "on the run" 4 sumthing 4 what exactly im not sure but im gonna guess drug dealing i mean like he runz a flea market that soundz like a front 4 a drug ring also he lookz like sum1 who dressed themselvez while constantly stoned (trust me i would know) i just know he would smoke weed he soundz high out of hiz mind and also singz about how hez been working in the "flea market" since "hiz mama waz a baby" soundz like sumthing i'd write while high out of my mind oh and also while im on about hiz song

parappa: maybe not nesaserally DO drugz but he unknowingly sold drugz (allegedly) with prince fleaswallow 2 fix hiz dadz car altho mayb he would do weed idk XP

lammy my proof iz: thiz image (thx 2 lil mrs matter on discord 4 the proof XD)

5. guru ant my proof iz: thiz iz just a hc i have that he and fleaswallow smoke weed 2gether and he smokez 2 calm hiz nervez now iz there a good reason that i have thiz hc nah not really am i what the kidz would say "delu lu" no and who the fuck sayz "delu lu" anywayz thatz stupid tiktok kidz r stupid 6. cathy piller, ma san and randum onion lady who waz in stage 2 in the 2nd parappa game my proof iz thiz image:

7. pj berri my proof iz: ok now thiz iz another purely hc thing (actually thiz whole list iz XD) but hear me out the reason why that hez constantly eating and sleeping iz bcuz hez smoking that marijamige that mary jane that grass y'know weed makez people have the munchiez real bad and also makez u real sleepy so it makez total sense i don't c it being anyother way and if u disagree with me then letz go toe 2 toe by the slide @ the preskool i'll beet u up >:( 8. crash bandicoot my proof iz: ik ik that crash izn't TECHNICALLY a parappa character but shut up look @ this image

c look they have met thiz countz anywayz crash iz def 1 of those flordia man typez who run around on bath saltz screaming no further comment

9. colonel noodlez my proof iz: what fucking moron would try 2 make noodlez the only food on earth a moron on drugz thatz who basically the whole plot of ptr2 iz that he goez on a drug binge and thinkz that all other foodz r evil and tryz 2 make everything noodlez but then parappa helpz him sober up and he realizez hez a fucking idiot and thatz why kidz u shouldn't do drugz (or do them i don't give a shit im not ur dad)

feel free 2 leave ur hcz in the commentz below <333 (btw if u didn't read the title thiz post iz satire so don't take offense 2 thiz or sumthing idk)

[l1ft-l1ft1ng-l1ft3d]

What I l1ft3d from 4/1/2023 - 4/30/2023

American Eagle Outfitters:

- Rolling Stones oversized crewneck sweatshirt

Barnes & Noble:

- 7 books (4/2/2023)

- Paper Source Scantron tote bag

- San Francisco tote bag

- 6 books (4/6/2023)

- 8 books (4/8/2023)

- 5 books (4/11/2023)

- 7 books (4/16/2023)

- B&N canvas tote bag - black + gold (4/16/2023)

- 4 books (4/17/2023)

- Out of Print Library tote bag

- 7 books (4/22/2023)

- 4 books (4/25/2023)

- 1 book (4/27/2023)

CVS:

- CeraVe Psoriasis Moisturizing Cream

- Get Well greeting card

- Okabashi slides (coral)

- RawSugar Sugar Scrub (Pineapple + Maqui Berry + Coconut)

- Scünci 2-pcs Scrunchies (blue tie-dye + blue paisley)

- Scünci 1-pc Scrunchie (orange + peach tie dye)

- Kitsch satin pillowcase (Aura)

- Weleda Skin Food Light Nourishing Cream

- CeraVe Skin Renewing Night Cream

Dick's Sporting Goods:

- Nike crewneck logo sweatshirt (white)

- 47 Giants pullover hoodie (gray)

- Stanley H2O Quencher H2.0 Tumbler - 40 oz (rose gold)

- Nike crewneck pullover sweatshirt (lavender)

- North Face crewneck pullover sweatshirt (marine blue)

- 47 Sacramento Kings long-sleeve graphic t-shirt

- Nike Hydrastrong one-piece swim suit (black)

-  Hydroflask lunch box

- Nike crewneck pullover sweatshirt (guava pink)

- Stanley H2O Quencher H2.0 Tumbler - 40 oz (gray)

- The North Face Pride tote bag

- Nike crewneck pullover sweatshirt (beige)

- Stanley 30 oz. Ice Flow Tumbler with Flip Straw (Lavender)

- 2 Adidas hats (blue & pastel green)

- Calia foam slides (gray)

- Body Glide Foot Glide Stick

- SKLZ Targeted Massage Ball

Hobby Lobby:

- Metal Earth 1908 Ford Model T Steel Model Kit (for Dad)

- Metal Earth 1965 Ford Mustang Steel Model Kit (for Dad)

- GellyRoll Moonlight Gel Pen set (10 pcs)

- Perler Clear Pegboards (5 pcs.)

- Perler 6000 beads bag

- Dumbo applique patch

- Winnie the Pooh Iron-On Patch Set

- Peanuts Iron-On patch

- Fabric remnant (black + white dogs)

Hollister:

- Matisse graphic t-shirt

- Sunset tie-dye hoodie

Home Goods:

- Porter 2-pcs Silicone Bags

- Eco Seroa Set of 20 Reusable Kitchen Towels

- OXO Steel Pop Container - 2.1 qt

- OXO Steel Pop Container - 0.2 qt

- Progressive silicone microwave turntable protector

J.C. Penney:

- 2 pairs Adidas tennis shoes

- Levi's graphic t-shirt (gray)

- Wrangler High Rise Vintage 3" Shorts (black)

- Wrangler Roll Shorts

- Levi's 501 cut off shorts

- 4 Levi's graphic t-shirts (black, navy, orange, lime green)

- Wrangler crop graphic t-shirt (pale yellow)

- Wrangler graphic t-shirt (gray)

- ANA 1/2 button down tunic blouse (army green)

- Puma DryCell athletic shorts

- Levi's 711 Skinny jeans

- Wrangler High Rise Rodeo Straight Crop jeans

- 3 Levi's t-shirts (2 white / 1 blue)

- Wrangler t-shirt (rust)

- Levi's 501 Original jeans (gray)

- Rebok leggings

- Rebok sports bra

- ANA short sleeve t-shirt

Lowe's:

- Style Selections Plastic Soap Dish

- Yardsmith Hand Tool Weeder (** for Mom **)

- 2 packs of weed whacker "string"

Macy's:

- Ralph Lauren pajama set (blue + white stripes)

- Calvin Klein Performance quarter zip hoodie (gray)

- Levi's cropped peasant blouse (cream)

- Levi's graphic crewneck sweatshirt (navy)

- Levi's High Rise Mom Jean Shorts

- And Now This bodysuit (black)

- Rebok full-zip hoodie (tangerine)

- Levi's High Rise Mom Jeans (distressed)

- Levi's white button down linen short sleeve shirt

- Levi's ribbed t-shirt (pink + white stripes)

- Levi's graphic t-shirt (periwinkle)

- Jenni short pajama set (chambray)

- Ralph Lauren terry cloth bathrobe (white)

- Ralph Lauren light bathrobe (gray)

- Levi's Ex-Boyfriend Trucker Jacket (cream)

- Levi's ribbed scoop-neck crop t-shirt (blue, yellow, lime green)

- And Now This bodysuit (cream)

- Ralph Lauren light bathrobe (navy)

- Ralph Lauren pajama set (gray w/white stripes)

- Levi's 501 Shorts (medium blue denim)

- Levi's graphic t-shirt (cream)

- Calvin Klein Performance full-zip hoodie (olive)

- Levi's 501 cut off shorts (light blue)

- Levi's corduroy jacket w/sherpa collar

- Rebok full-zip sweatshirt (lavender)

- Ralph Lauren button-down sleep shirt (blue + white stripes)

- Short-sleeve + shorts pajama set (flowers + smiley faces)

- Levi's 501 Skinny jeans

- Ralph Lauren pajama set (*** For Mom! ** pink + blue paisley - size M)

- Ralph Lauren button-down sleep shirt (pink + white stripes)

- Levi's ribbed scoop-neck shirt (blue + white stripes)

- Calvin Klein Performance full-zip hoodie (pea green)

- Calvin Klein Performance ribbed v-neck long sleeve shirt (gray)

- Columbia microfleece full zip sweater (hot pink)

- Ralph Lauren pajama set (navy blue + white polka dots - capri bottoms)

- Levi's graphic t-shirt (salmon)

- Levi's flannel button-down shirt (brown, black + white)

- Columbia full zip fleece sweater

- Ralph Lauren pajama set (blue + white paisley)

- 2 Wacoal bras

- Ralph Lauren pajama set (pink + blue paisley)

- Levi's ribbed button-down t-shirt

- Levi's flannel button down shirt

Michael's Crafts

- Scotch Thermal Laminator

Target:

- EOS Shea Better 24H Moisture Body Lotion (Vanilla Cashmere)

- E.L.F. Luminous Putty Primer

- Bananagrams game

- Brita Elite 10 Cup water filtration pitcher

- Byoma Balancing Face Mist

- Byoma Melting Balm Cleanser

- Mielle Rosemary Mint Strengthening Hair Masque

- TruSkin Vitamin C Super Serum +

- Rowenta X-Cel Steam Easy garment steamer

- TruSkin Vitamin C Facial Serum

- Threshold recycled glass soap dish

- Good Chemistry Magnolia Violet perfume

- E.L.F Luminous Putty Primer

- ColourPop Feather Effect Styling Wax

- ColourPop Feather Effect Brow Brush

- OXO 3-Piece Suction Bath Set

- C4 Ultimate Pre-Workout (Icy Blue Razz)

- Keurig Descale & Cleanse Starter Kit

- Squatty Potty Bamboo Flip stool

- Peds Mid Cut socks (6 pack)

- Pacifica Indian Coconut Nectar perfume

- Hero Rescue Balm

- Pixi On-the-Glow Bronze (Rich Glow)

- Pixi On-the-Glow Blush (Juicy)

- Pixi On-the-Glow Blush (Ruby)

- Revlon Oil Absorbing Roller

- Revlon Facial Roller Refill

- EcoTools Body Gua Sha

- OXO 3-Piece Bath Suction Set

- OXO Hair Catch Drain Protector

- OXO 7-Piece Clip Set

Ulta:

- Philosophy Amazing Grace Eau de Parfum

- Philosophy Amazing Grace Shampoo, Bath & Shower Gel

- Mario Badescu Facial Spray with Aloe, Herbs and Rosewater

- Hero Force Shield Superfood Serum Stick

- Bumble & Bumble BB Bond-Building Repair Oil Serum

- Bumble & Bumble BB Hairdresser's Invisible Oil

- Fur Oil (2.5 FL oz.)

- Drunk Elephant Lippe Balm

- Mario Badescu Drying Lotion

- Briogeo Farewell Frizz Smoothing Shampoo

- Lanolips Lip Water

- Bumble & Bumble Bb Hairdresser's Invisible Oil Heat/UV Protective Primer

- Cosrx Advanced Snail Peptide Eye Cream

- Drunk Elephant C-Tango Multivitamin Eye Cream

- Lanolips Glossybalms (Berry)

Walgreen's:

- Aveeno Eczema Therapy Rescue Relief Treatment Gel Cream

- Microban 24 Hour Sanitizing Spray (Citrus Scent)

- CeraVe Healing Ointment (5 oz.)

- Shea Moisture 100% Pure Jamaican Black Castor Oil

- Billie Razor Dream Pop Starter Kit

- Billie Razor Malibu travel razor case

- Differin Dark Spot Correcting Serum

- La Roche-Posay Toleriane Double Repair Matte Moisturizer

- Kristin Ess Weightless Hydration Daily Scalp + Hair Mask

- Olay Hyaluronic Nourishing + Hydrating Body Lotion

- CoverGirl Color Correcting Serum Moisturizer Primer (Redness Neutralizer)

- Essie Hard To Resist Advanced nail strengthener

- Essie Speed-Setter top coat

- The Honest Co. Gently Nourishing Bubble Bath (Sweet Almond)

- Olly Extra Strength Sleep gummies (70-count)

- Scünci 5-Pcs Headwraps

- Dr. Bronner's Lavender Organic Hand Sanitizer

- G2 Limited Edition Mineral Art Premium Gel Roller pens (4-count)

- Aveno Daily Moisturizing Body Oil Mist

- Gimme Thick Hair bands (6 pcs - black)

- The Original Make Up Eraser 7- Day Set (black)

- Shea Moisture Pink Himalayan Salt Relaxing Bar Soap

- Goli Ashwaganda Gummies

- Scünci 5-piece headwraps

VS Pink:

- Embroidered Logo crewneck pullover sweatshirt

- Logo full zip sweater (pink)

- Logo full zip sweater (cream)

- Flared yoga pants w/fold-over waistband

-  Black leggings

- Short pajama set

Total: 245 items

[razgrizgirl]

343i are working on more campaign dlc !

I hope you get to play as a Grunt on earth working at a 711 making just enough credits to pay his space rent

[wordsbyhisheart]

Al-Madinah al-Munawwarah has the honour of being the resting place of the greatest of creation, the beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. The reviver of Islam, the Imam of Ahl al-Sunnah, Imam Aḥmad Razā Khān رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه states, “The blessed soil—i.e. the earth—which is touching his blessed body, is superior to the revered Kaaba, in fact it is superior to the Arsh.”

— Fatāwā al-Razawiyyah, vol. 10, p. 711

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

A Rather Magical Super Sexy Secret

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 711

Summary: Dieter surprises you with a magazine photoshoot, except he forgot to tell you about it

Warnings: a sexy photoshoot and the consequences when that happens

Check out masterlist here

While waiting at the supermarket checkout, you were aimlessly checking over your shopping list. Everything was checked off, but your brain just had to check again. And they had Dieter’s favourite snacks on special, so you decided to get extra. He’d been working really hard the past few weeks, mostly coming home late, only able to kiss you goodnight before completely zonking out. Tonight, you decided to treat him to a nice hearty dinner as you rightly assumed he hasn’t been able to eat properly. Your double-checking reverie was interrupted by a bunch of girls twittering like harpies.

“Oh my god, look how hot he is!”

“I want to be his controversial young girlfriend!”

You rolled your eyes and looked over to the offending culprits, but you stopped when your eyes caught the object of their desire: starring back at you from a magazine was the face of your boyfriend. It felt like you were suddenly hit in the face with a shovel. Before you got buried in six feet of confusion, your attention was called by the checkout in front of you becoming free. Again, Dieter’s face was staring at you from the magazine rack in front of you, so you decided to add one to your conveyor belt of purchases.

The checkout lady looked at the cover of the magazine while she scanned it. She had that look like one would to an indulgent bar of chocolate.

“Mmm, that is a man right there,” she said, “I’d like to cover him in whipped feta, feed him pomegranates and use him like a fine charcuterie board!”

Well that was a new, certainly interesting one.

You thanked her as you grabbed your grocery bags. As soon as you got in your car, you opened the pages of the magazine. You were greeted with arms. Very well-defined arms. You saw Dieter’s arms every day and you knew he’d been working out a bit more lately, but this felt like you were looking at your boyfriend with newly replaced eyeballs.

You quickly shut the magazine and threw it in your tote bag before it burst into flames, sending you into the fiery lusty hell you were currently feeling.

Dieter greeted you when you pulled up your car in the driveway. He seemed more well rested, and he just had to be wearing one of his Henley shirts. You hated those shirts purely because they made every muscle of his fine body stand out which you certainly did not need right now.

And now he was helping you carry in the groceries, making his arm muscles stand out even more. You could not stop staring at them. You would walk into a pole if there was one for how much you kept staring at his arms.

You followed him into the house, and he lifted the bags onto the kitchen counter, making his shirt ride up a little, giving a peek at his cute tummy.

“Actually, could you put the bags over there?” you asked him.

He replied with a nonchalant shrug and moved them over to the other side of the kitchen. You followed his arms, mesmerised at the material of the sleeves stretching and straining out.

“Sorry, I meant over there,” you said, almost hypnotised.

Dieter put the bags back onto the other counter and swooped in to pick you up, breaking you out of your state. “What is up with you honey cakes? You’ve been staring at my arms since you got in.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Why didn’t you tell me about the photoshoot?”

The realisation slowly spread over his face. “Oh shit, that’s out already? I wanted it to be a surprise.”

He slowly placed you back to the earth, apology written all over him.

“It was a surprise, a nice surprise,” you pulled the magazine out of your tote bag and showed him. “I mean damn, I see you naked all the time, but this…” you started to fan yourself with it.

“Wow, you really are swooning” he moved, ready to pick you up again, “Have I made you weak in the knees?”

“Not yet. Did they let you keep the boots?”

“Oh, I got to keep everything.”

“Okay, now I’m weak in the knees.”

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @brilliantopposite187

[latenightsuburbansprinklersystem]

I think an inherent part of being poor is frequently being exposed to the most harrowing earth shattering thing you've ever heard/seen in your life and just having to go about your day afterward. my neighbor from a few units down (an elderly woman who lives with her middle aged daughter) who I've never spoken to before just struck up a nearly 2 hour conversation with me after I waved to her while I was out front smoking and like. the things she said feel too personal and intimate and genuinely. fucking heart breakingly sad. to share in my usual sort of "haha you'll never guess what this tacoma crazyman just unloaded on me" sort of post but at one point she told me the sort of thing that most people would only ever tell their closest friends and family and was like "thats not the sort of thing I ever share with people I've only ever told my daughter until now. but for some reason god told me that you would understand and that I needed to tell you" even after Id previously told her that I'm not religious and don't believe in god. like am I insane if that genuinely really affected me. it didn't alter my spiritual beliefs obviously but being told by this poor sad disabled elderly woman who. from the sounds of things. has been fucked over and let down by society at nearly every turn in her life that you specifically were chosen by capital g god to hear her story is the sort of thing that SHOULD make someone insane right? and now I just have to go eat my now very cold very soggy 711 chicken wings like I'm not having thoughts and feelings beyond human comprehension. crazy stuff