#eamon goes without saying

[vigilskeep]

[guy who is feeling normal abt dragon age voice] i am going to kill maric theirin. Again.

[worldofkuro]

How would S2 Alastor react to reader dying in a random, freak accident? Like, he’s just in the middle of his broadcast, and reader is walking to the studio from visiting the parents, and then boom!, accident! Would he immediately know that something was wrong, would he sense readers spirit leaving him? How insane would he get?

I can’t really tell much without spoiling about how their connection works. But Alastor would try to keep your soul no matter what, he would try to trap your soul into a doll, his wedding ring or Eamon… But he wouldn”t let you run away from him.

Alastor is way too proud, he wouldn’t kill himself because you left him. Oh non, please. He knew you were amazing, if he managed to capture your soul, he would feel so elated. You were finally his, no one but him would be able to talk to you, to feel you… but he would miss your touch. Feeling and touching are different after all.

If Baron Samedi took your soul, which meant you fell to Hell, he would try to find a way to communicate with you. He would, after months, years or searching, finally summon you. He would ask you about your wellbeing, how Hell was. You both would agree that you would start your ascension through Hell while he would give you sacrifice so you would get stronger. 

So when he finally goes down there to meet you, no one would ever think about separating you two again.  Which might be sooner than he expected, after your death he became a little too messy so… Let’s just say your husband would soon join you in Hell.

[lavellane]

my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder.

dragon age origins — king!alistair x mistress f!cousland (elspeth cousland) | minors DNI | rated E for smut | 3206 words | reunion sex, riding, fluff, minor hurt/comfort, marriage proposals | ao3 link

Impatient as he is, he greets his uncle first. He’s the king, after all, and his advisors deserve at least the pretense of an attentive ruler.

Pleasantries are exchanged between them while his squire helps him out of his gaudy golden excuse for armor. Not unexpectedly, the elephant in the room goes undiscussed, as do the half dozen marriage proposals he's certain have piled up during his absence. After six years, Eamon knows better than to press him on that issue. Likely he'll try his luck in the morning, but tonight the wells of Alistair’s patience have been run thoroughly dry. It must read plainly on his face, given how bad he is at cards. 

As the arl's debrief draws to a close, Alistair's eyes, for the tenth time in half as many minutes, dart towards the exit. Eamon sighs. 

“Well, Your Grace,” he says, tactfully clearing his throat. “The hour is late indeed. I imagine you're weary from your travels?”

Alistair nods. “Oh, very weary. The weariest.”

It's not entirely a lie, but his uncle frowns nonetheless. “Then I won't keep you. Good night, Alistair.”

“You as well, Uncle.”

“I will see you in the morning for your small council meeting. Do try not to be . . . waylaid.”

Well. Hint received. Awkward. He lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when he finally presses the door closed behind him.

Next up: a bath. It's sorely needed, after five weeks back and forth across the Waking Sea. His arrivals home are typically received without much ceremony, per his request, and so the palace is pleasantly quiet. A few saluting guards here, a scurrying servant or two there. It's for their benefit that he keeps his footfalls slow and measured, instead of breaking into the wild sprint down the hallway that he's aching for.

One of those servants must have drawn his bath for him already, he guesses, stepping into his chambers to find it warm and awaiting. He wonders if Teagan roused them from their beds for this, or if they've simply clued into his routine after so many years of it.

He forces himself to bathe slowly. For his own sake, but mostly for hers. The heat soaks into his bones, the grime and dust from the road melting off of him as if little more than a bad memory. He tries to enjoy it, despite his restlessness. And the excitement, Maker, like he's still twenty years old and the anticipation alone might just undo him. Or do him in.

He only hurries as he dries off, reaching for the fresh (and mercifully plain) clothes laid diligently aside for him. A part of him considers forgoing clothes entirely – palace denizens be damned. He wills himself to dress anyway, reluctantly. Quickly. It hasn't been that long since he last saw her, anyway, and they've gone far longer stretches before than this. Nonetheless, between Kirkwall's tyrannical templars and the lingering Qunari threat, he feels as if he hasn't held her in an age.

Clean and fully dressed, he frowns at his reflection. Older, harder, more weary. But happy, still, despite it all. Because of her. Her, waiting for him, just a few rooms away. 

Naked, ideally.

He does away with all pretense and hightails down the hall, paying no mind to his kingsguard and their poorly suppressed grins. Smile away, Alistair thinks. I'll be smiling too, in a minute.

Her door is up ahead. And then before him. The handle is inches away from his outstretched hand. He hesitates.

How’s his breath? His hair? He should have shaved, should have put in a little more effort. Can she hear his creepy breathing behind the door? He fixes his clothes. Squares his shoulders. Knocks. 

“Elles?”

A pause. Then, “Alistair?”

His heart tightens painfully in his chest. How he's missed that voice. If Ferelden could speak, it would do so through Elspeth Cousland. The strength of the Frostbacks in that voice of hers. The grim beauty of the Kocari Wilds. Rough like the Highever seas. 

He can tell she’s been brooding before he’s so much as closed the door behind him. Not that he’s surprised — Maker, does the woman know how to brood. She shoots up quickly to her feet, straight and rigid like a soldier standing at attention. Not, mind you, like a Warden-Commander; at this moment Elspeth more closely resembles a clammy-handed recruit, next in line for her Joining. She’s nervous, that much is obvious, with her hands white knuckled and clasped together with uncertainty.  From past experience, he’d wager anything she’s spent the last several days convincing herself he’s somehow fallen out of love with her in the time they’ve been apart.  

And they say he’s the idiot.

Life’s too short to waste on “hello”’s, or “I’ve missed you”’s, or "I brought you a souvenir, but silly me, I accidentally dropped it overboard on the voyage back”. They’ve got less time together than most, after all. Crossing the distance between them is a blur; one moment he's at the door, the next he's hoisting her legs up around his waist, arms enveloping every part of her he can get his hands on, lips working relentlessly against her opened mouth. Whatever insecurities she'd tried to voice in the time it took him to wrap her up in his arms, he doesn't care to hear. He'd much rather focus on ridding her of those doubts entirely.

She gets the message — they've always been in sync like that. Her lips catch up with his, matching the hunger and resolve of his kiss. Her hands, calloused and smelling perpetually of iron, snake around his shoulders. The rest of her smells like roses; she must have come just recently from the garden he’d had built for her, the one place he specifically forbid her from moping in. He takes a moment to refamiliarize himself with her scent, lost in the feeling of her fingers tangled up in his hair, pulling him closer, ever closer, close enough to lose track of whose body belongs to who. And still it's not enough.

He needs her. Badly. She can probably feel as much, too. He carries her to the bed, laying her down amidst the pillows and furs. He finds within himself just enough self restraint to stand back for a long, brazen ogle. Maker, everything about her turns him on. Her freckles, her fingers, her breasts. Her long ashen hair in that ever-familiar braid. Storm gray eyes, pale pink lips. Her nose, one of his many favorite parts of her, set crooked after one too many fists to the face.

That perfect, powerful body of hers, hidden away under just a few thin, tearable layers of clothing . . .

She's way ahead of him, of course, because at this point they've got reunion sex down to an art. She casts off her Warden-blue tunic with only a button or two lost in the process, then grabs him by the front of his own shirt (red, naturally, with a tiny embroidered ‘I love you’ she'd stitched so sneakily behind the hem of his collar) and pulls him down on top of her once it's properly discarded. Their pants and various stubborn affects follow suit, until they’re both left blissfully bare and pawing feverishly at one another, limbs tangled and lips locked. 

His fingers venture down the valley of her breasts, past her stomach to settle in between her legs. He smiles at what he finds, reassured by the proof that he’s not the only one so blatantly aroused. Her thighs part wider for him, hips lifting from the sheets to sooner meet his digits. She moans, perhaps less so from pleasure than the sheer relief of being touched — loved — for the first time in over a month. And he's right there with her. He sighs (or whines, if he's being honest) into the crook of her neck when her own hands find what they've been looking for, working him all too quickly into a frenzy. 

She stops just as suddenly as she'd started, pushing at his chest until he relents and rolls over. She straddles his lap, grinding once, hard and agonizingly slow, for good measure. He moves to drape an arm over his face in some futile attempt to cool his burning cheeks, but she cruelly intercedes, pinning his wrists by either side of his head. He struggles playfully for a bit, laughing breathlessly. His hips buck autonomously at the sight of those strong, muscular arms holding him firmly in place.

They used to spar together, innocently, when they first met. How time flies.

He needs so, so desperately to fuck her. He has all night — all week, all year, all of the rest of their lives— to savor her body the way it's meant to be savored. To make sweet, tender, Chantry sanctioned love to her. But what he needs right now  — what they both need, he recognises — is something desperate and ragged and mindless to the point of being no better than animals. The type of fucking that comes from a shared loneliness he's not certain anybody else has ever experienced before.

He's glad she doesn't give him too much time to dwell on that. Her hips rise just enough for the right angle, before guiding him slowly inside. They both sigh. Elspeth frees his trapped hands to splay her own out against his chest, steadying herself. Her nails dig into his skin as she sinks down onto him, inch by inch, although she's bitten them too short to do any real damage. Alistair fights to keep himself still inside her, waiting for her body to adjust, to give him the go ahead. An uphill battle, really. When he's fully sheathed inside of her she settles, save for the frantic contraction of her muscles around him, driving him to the brink of insanity. 

“I dreamt about this every night I was gone,” he manages. “Maker, I love you, Elles. I love you so much.”

Her eyes go glassy and her bottom lip quivers. It's that old, familiar grief, the one he's never been able to fully free her from after those long, bleak months in the Deep Roads. But as he moves his hips carefully against hers and feels Elspeth moving back, he's confident he can coax it down again, at least for as little as tonight.

“I love you,” she eventually whispers back, and then begins to ride him in earnest.

Ten minutes blurs into one long wave of curling, cresting euphoria. Alistair groans brokenly. He feels absolutely deranged, delirious, gazing up at her while she takes him so completely. Sweat beads at her forehead, and a deep flush creeps from her chest up to her cheeks. His own face must be beet-red, too. 

He's not going to last long, not with the angle she’s hitting and sounds coming out of her mouth. Though, taking those sounds into consideration, he suspects that she won't last much longer, either. They're both too keyed up to pace themselves and too jittery to try, so better to play it out in a wild crescendo. He grabs at her hips, lifting her up and back down onto him, coaxing out one hoarse plea after another. One hand releases its grip to run unfettered across her breasts, and she groans again, falling forwards onto his chest and wrapping herself around him as if she might never get a chance to again. 

Once, a hundred lifetimes ago, his friend Zevran gave him some unsolicited advice about arching. He really hadn’t appreciated it at the time, but he does now, right in this moment, with the friction of this exact position to aid him in such an endeavor. She’s done in half a minute if he can keep her held firmly above him. He’s done, too. He doubles his efforts, recapturing her swollen lips and soon reaching with his tongue to greet the muffled cry when her pleasure finally peaks. Normally he would let her ride it out, but he’s rapidly approaching his own climax and his brain can focus on nothing but her gray, glazed over eyes, her hair in the candlelight, the frantic rise and fall of her chest as she writhes and bucks and bounces against him. Her muscles pulse and he feels himself twitching inside of her in response. 

He’s so close, at the precipice, suspended in mid air, floating . . . And then she tightens around him once more and he finishes inside of her with one long, obscene moan that vibrates through the room and every part of his utterly spent body.

They’re going to get so many looks from the guards come morning.

His every muscle sings with bliss. Their bodies grow slack and boneless together and their movements slow to lazy, drawn out rolls of the hips. He holds her, one hand rubbing her naked back and the other cradling her head as they find their breaths again, together, in the most comfortable of silences. He counts her exhales, and in the afterglow of their efforts he finds himself blinking back tears. Returning to Ferelden, to Denerim, to the palace itself . . . none of it had felt like coming home until this very moment, enveloped in one another, reacquainted at last with the sound of each other’s breathlessness.

He hates it when she rolls up and off of him, but he’s a grown up, apparently, so instead of whining about it he begrudgingly rises from the bed long enough to grab the nearest clean cloth. Then he’s right back in bed with her, his hand returning between her legs to wipe her down, followed by a cursory clean up of himself. She lets out her now thoroughly dishevelled braid while she watches him, not smiling as he’d hoped, but warm and tender nonetheless. Her fingers trace slow and deliberately along the curve of his bicep, frowning at the jagged scar she knows still gives him trouble in the colder months. He makes a mental note to get at least a half dozen laughs out of her before the night is through, just to keep that damned frown of hers at bay.

He offers her a worldless arm when he’s done tidying them both up, and he’s rewarded with a smile, sweet and sheepish, as she moves to snuggle into it. He pulls her close to pepper the top of her head with kisses, humming contentedly in the quiet.

“Marry me,” he says eventually.

Elspeth tenses, and then sighs. “You’re never going to give this up, are you?”

“Ha! Of course I will. The second you say ‘Yes! Yes! Oh, Alistair! One thousand times yes!’”

“I don’t sound like that. Also, do I have to say it a thousand times, or just the once?”

“Well . . . a couple times couldn’t hurt, right?”

And there it is: her first, exasperated chuckle of the night. Winning that laughter means more to him than every battle he’s ever come out of victorious.

“You know I can’t, Ali.” Her laughter fades back into her usual grimness as she runs her palm across his chest, charting routes in the space between his freckles. She places a kiss above his heart, likely in the hopes of avoiding his eye. “We’ve broken too many rules as it is, and I won’t be the cause for yet more unrest in Thedas. I bear responsibility for enough of that already. Besides, I can’t just abandon my men. The Wardens need me.”  

“I need you.” He scoffs as an afterthought. “And the Gray Wardens have Nathaniel, as much as it just kills me to credit that man with anything. But hey! Who said anything about giving them up? A king can be a general. I’m living proof he can be a court jester, too. Why can’t a queen be Warden-Commander?”

She ignores his quip, despite it being a really good one. “Because I don’t know how to be a queen.” She shakes her head hopelessly. “I barely know how to be a person most days. Maybe . . .  maybe I could have done it, once, but now, after everything —”

Better to stop this now before it turns into another one of her signature doom spirals. “Every Arl and Bann in the Coastlands calls you queen already, did you know that?” He grins, having anticipated the eyeroll. Of course she knows that, given how much her fellow Gray Wardens love to gossip. And tease. “The nobles have long been made aware that I won't accept anybody else by my side. And, Maker, it’s not like they would accept anybody else! ‘None but the Cousland Queen’ —  that’s what they say about you. I know that because half of the bannorn have told me. To my face.”  

Some small, dignified part of her — the part that still relishes being a highborn noble — stirs. Her eyes glint with cautious intrigue. “Bann Ceorlic?” she asks.

Alistair clears his throat. “Well, not him.”

 “Hmph.”

“Marry me,” he says again. “Don’t you want to?”

“You know I want to,” she says, “but —”

“— Any excuse you give me will just go in one ear and out the other. Isn’t that just so classically me? Hey, here’s a crazy idea. Let’s get maaaa-rried!”

“You’re just getting funnier and funnier in your old age, aren’t you?”

“And you’re getting grumpier.” 

He takes her face in both hands before she can deny it, kissing her slow and soft and with all of the comfort he knows she secretly needs right now, and likely always will. Now that he’s home - truly home - he can give her as much of that as she can stand, and then some. Tomorrow’s small council meeting be damned. “Marry me, Elles.”

She blinks up at him, searching his eyes for any sign he might one day get tired of waiting. She can find a lot in his eyes (he is really, really terrible at cards) but she’ll never find that. 

“Can I at least ask you how your trip went, first?” she asks finally, softened by the crack of a tiny, rueful smile.

“Ugh.” How could he forget? “Right. That little thing. It -” 

Alistair blinks, Kirkwall forgotten again just as soon as he’d remembered it. “That’s . . . not a ‘no’, by the way,” he says, dumbfounded.

Elspeth settles in closer against him, her leg wrapped around his, her ear pressed in snug at his shoulder. He knows she’s listening for his heartbeat, the thump-thump-thump she’d do anything - everything - for. He knows she put him on the throne to keep that heartbeat going for a few years more, and he knows that’s why it’s so hard for her to give up the endless fight for it now. 

He knows. It doesn’t mean he thinks she’s right.

She looks up at him only after she’s satisfied that his heart isn’t about to cease functioning in his chest. Her hand reaches out to smooth down the errant hairs around his ears, and she opens her mouth several times to reply before pursuing them together in frustration. Then - finally, bashfully - she nods.     

“No,” she admits softly. “I mean, it’s not. It’s . . . it’s not a no.”

‘It’s not a no’. Well, he’s certainly done more with less.

[greypetrel]

Turning this question on you, because it's such a good one!!

In the Fade graveyard in Here Lies the Abyss, what would the tombstones of your characters say? What are their deepest fears? (for all of them please!)

Ehehehehe it really got me thinking quite a bit! But I managed. More in-depth descriptions under the cut :3

Alyra: Last one standing

Raina: Self-fulfilled prophecy

Garrett: Impotence

Aisling: Abandonment

Radha: Indifference

Alyra: Last one standing - As cold and aloof and cruel as she seems, she is a person that acts for the community, first and foremost. If she slightly feels like your survival is her responsibility, she will keep you alive, whether you want it or not. As difficult as it is to enter her good graces, once you are if you ask her to burn down a country, or if she feels like it would keep you safe and happy, she would do her very damn best and do it. Being the last one standing means she failed everyone around her, and what's the point in being there if you're alone? All the people she really can’t stand (Branka, Eamon, Howe) are all people that wouldn't mind being the last one standing, that would sacrifice others in their protection. She is willing to be considered cruel, cold, heartless: as long as the people in her care are well.

Raina: Self-fulfilled prophecy - She is the first to call herself a trash raccoon. She is all too aware of every single one of her flaws, how much it bothers other people, how much it can cost her if she doesn’t keep it under control. She knows she is dysfunctional, she knows her coping methods are the worst, if you tell her one of her flaws, she’ll nod and agree with you. But in that pit of despair and inadequacy that she loves to splash into, she is highly delusional: she goes on believing that she’s wrong. Whatever her mother said of her, which led her to be so self-aware, is wrong. She can do things her way and obtain results. She can earn enough money to maintain her family if she puts her mind to it. She can stop presenting as feminine and find love. She can find friends who won’t mind her quirks. She can, if she wants and is ready to work hard enough for it. Her biggest, deeper fear is being wrong. Being a self-fulfilled prophecy: her flaws are too big, too many. It could only end in tragedy, and she was too delusional to see it and prevent it. She could have, but she didn’t, and people she loves suffers and dies for that.

Garrett: Impotence - What do you have magic for if not for help others? Malcolm did his very best to put in his mind, when he manifested magic, that it wasn’t a curse, it didn’t put the family in even more danger: it was a blessing, it meant he could do so much to help them all. He believed it, he really did. Life kept showing that magic can’t solve all the problems, and is not more helpful than just putting your mind to something. He couldn’t prevent Malcolm from dying. He couldn’t prevent Raina from spiralling down as she got the job done and took the blame for the air she breathed, for Carver and Bethany. His biggest, deepest fear is being helpless as he sees his family, his friends and loved ones die and suffer without him being able to do anything. Impotent, with all the magic he has, as he’s already been.

Aisling: Abandonment - If your own mom, whom you loved so dearly and was your whole world, can leave you behind and never look back, who’s to say that other people won’t? She people-pleases like her life depends on it, and some days she feels like it does. If she’s not perfect, if she’s not useful or compliant, happy, not bothersome, people are less likely to leave her behind. Knowing she was adopted by the Lavellan to become their Second, because she can do magic, didn’t help at all: it took her feeling like she almost have them killed in Wycome to realize that her place with them never depended solely on what she could do (hence why in the DadWolf AU she fares better. Not adopted for a particular purpose + having someone that shares her experience and could relate for real since she was little). Hence why Trespasser hit her so hard. Not so deep because she is aware of it, so aware that having it shown to everyone else will be deeply uncomfortable, she is absolutely terrorized of all the people she loves eventually leaving, and ending up completely alone.

Radha: Indifference - In a wide sense, she wants to make a difference. In history, discovering something her people thought lost. And in the lives of the people around her. Small acts, like being known as the one person you can always look for an advice, or a hug, or a good cup of tea when you’re really out of spoons. All she does is out of love: love for knowledge, love for her family, love for her people, love for what she does and for the good it can bring. Of all the blorbos above, she’s probably the most well put together and stable. But being forgotten, being ignored, her thoughts not being listened too, being indifferent for the people around her… She hates feeling like everyone gives her for granted, like her opinions aren’t good enough to be listened to or don't really matter. Silence is her best friends, she loves it because she can observe and hear better. It’s also her worst enemy. Giving her love to someone, and seeing it shrugged off like it’s worth nothing. That’s what scares her, that’s what she can’t stand and fills her with rage.

[deusexlachina]

Antisocial DAO Part 13 (Denerim II): Meet three people even more socially inept than me

With Arl Eamon saved by the (last remaining portion of) the Urn of Sacred Ashes, he calls a Landsmeet, a gathering of all the nobles, so we can get a better ruler than Loghain because he sucks.

Anora, Loghain's daughter, is the ostensible ruler of Ferelden, but she's currently locked away in the estate of Loghain's toady Howe, making her as useful as ever. But it'd be bad if she was murdered and we were blamed, so we have to save her. Howe says we're doing this because Eamon is losing faith in the persuasive power of the Landsmeet, which is a fair accusation, since I have repeatedly demonstrated no persuasive power whatsoever.

With Howe dead, I free his prisoners. In a display of social ineptitude even worse than mine, Vaughan not only volunteers that elves were rioting against him, but, when I ask why, suggests that elves are prickly, lazy troublemakers. He is talking to an elf. With a Murder Knife.

It's possible to trick this guy into giving you the key to his chest, which contains 40 gold, without freeing him. But I Am Socially Inept, which is just as well, because it's more cathartic to stab this fucker.

By killing Howe and his guards, I can now open Anora's room. She follows me in disguise for about a minute before we are arrested by Ser Cauthrien. I explain Anora was being held captive, a story Anora actively undermines. She later attributes this to My Being Socially Inept, since I should have kept her cover.

This is the one time in the game I'm accused of being socially inept and it isn't completely fair. What was Anora's plan here? Presumably she was hoping I could win against Cauthrien and her men - the hardest boss fight unless you piss off Paragon "Stunlock" Caridin - and also hoping that they wouldn't notice that she was travelling with me and they'd spare what for all they know is a redshirt working for their enemy.

Alternatively, she was counting on me being spared, put in jail, and then getting an opportunity to break out, which is quite possible, but then she doesn't do anything to help you escape. Really, the most sensible thing to do is tell Cauthrien the truth, except Anora sabotages you. The most plausible explanation is she just chickened out.

Fortunately for Anora, I am both strong enough to slaughter Cauthrien's small army and so used to people turning on me that I take this betrayal in stride instead of killing her too.

I take Anora back to Eamon's Stately Manor and she asks to speak with me. Because I Am Socially Inept, I wait a nice long time to answer this important invitation, instead dropping by Alistair's sister's house because he whines about not seeing her. This is a ridiculous task, but it's right next to Eamon's estate and I need Alistair at his least whiny. Alistair's sister selfishly expects him to financially contribute to his own very large, poor, family, which hurts his feelings. Alistair unwisely goes to me for social advice, so I explain, from my experience, that people are just jerks who always say no to you and for some reason can't be persuaded. Rather than being less of a jerk to compensate, Alistair concludes that he should get in on this jerk stuff. He decides to look out for himself more.

Alistair has been Hardened, making him more cynical. A similar mechanic exists for Leliana and Shrek. I would love to Harden Leliana, but she left me just because I defiled her prophetess' remains and unsuccessfully lied about it. It was for a good cause, Leli!

But back to Alistair. A Hardened Alistair is more willing to be King, making him both a vastly better ruler and the one white person in history who has gotten better politics by deciding to be more of a selfish dick.

Now that Alistair has realized that politics matter because his sister was rude to him, I take Anora's advice to investigate the Alienage, on the grounds that the elves who live in this disease-ridden ghetto and are routinely persecuted would have no reason to be rioting unless Loghain was up to something. Anora follows this reasoning because she is to politics as I am to basic social interactions and personal hygiene.

Despite her premises being nonsense, her conclusion happens to be right. To pay for his civil war, Loghain has been selling elves to a blood mage, Caladrius. But Caladrius is only the second deadliest blood mage in the room, so all four of us whale on him.

Having social graces on par with Vaughan, Caladrius tries to induce me to let him go by offering to sacrifice all of his elven slaves with blood magic, even though this was exactly what I was trying to stop him from doing. And I am an elf. This is his second attempt to surrender to me, and the first one was that I pay him 100 gold.

This ritual gives you a single point of constitution, the most insultingly small reward for the single most dickish action in the game. I decline his offer by showing him my own, much better blood magic spell that defiles the blood of all of my enemies, slowly killing them as they helplessly writhe in pain. Can you do that, Caladrius? No. Because you're a poser. Leave the real blood magic to the goth girls.

Having gathered a ton of evidence to nail Loghain with, it's time to call the Landsmeet.

[splinter-sister]

Rachael

Ridge - He’s pretty flirtatious himself and is in the grey as far as personality wise, usually doing things for themself, work aside. I think that could be pretty compatible, but Ridge is usually a ONS kinda guy. He’s never gone back for seconds due to being immortal.

Howl - Rachael is sassy, flirty—just the opposite of Howl, who, though he doesn’t know much about the world and is naive about certain things and has a limited education, he’s inwardly rather soft and probably craves intimacy just as much as Rachael does? He’d find her pretty!! To be with Howl though, time is needed and handle with care—he may be inwardly soft despite the odds, but he’s been through absolute hell.

Nix - He’s a pretty playful guy and a decent sort, so I think he could get along well with Rachael. He has a soft side for small women also, but Rachael is pretty strong, so he’d like that. Besides all that, she’s pretty cute!

James - An absolute sunshine of a guy who is also an overworked healer / doctor. He wouldn’t hesitate to help Rachael if she was hurt because he’s very caring—that goes without saying for his partner. However, he’s more on the scale of good in comparison to Rachel’s grey and regrets killing people even when it’s usually to protect himself.

Eamon

Ridge - Ridge can be a playful and decent guy—he’ll keep things calmer, not come on too strong with Eamon being more of nervous type, but as with what I’d said above, he’s only interested in ONS even when he really likes someone because, well, they’re going to die before he ever does. Eamon is really cute though—definitely has the look to attract Ridge.

Howl - Howl doesn’t know a lot and is naive, but if he latches onto someone like Eamon, he’d protect him with his life. He is dog brained—I didn’t mention that above—happy when the friend comes around and upset when they leave! If he’s become his partner, he’d want his affection very often as he’s pretty touch starved. ( I’ve a lot of headcanons reblogged about him coming up too ! )

Nix - Though Nix is a playful guy and decent, he’d immediately pick up on Eamon’s shier, more nervous personality and subconsciously adjust himself so he’s a bit less himself. However, as with all potential partners, his natural temperature is COLD , freezing even and that usually scares people off. If Eamon can handle that (among some other things), he’s got a guy in it for the long haul.

James - Nurse and Doctor duo!! Though coming from a more fantasy setting, I refer to James as a healer more often than not! I think they’d be pretty cute today. James would take his time with Eamon, certainly because of his personality and would enjoy that he’s in a health profession as well!! Besides that, Eamon is cute!!

[ I omitted Black Hare since she’s probably not good for anyone’s mental health ( like maybe unless it’s a villain?? ) and Lafayette since his sexuality is unknown ! ]

For Rach, most of them have aspects that would match and clash with her in interesting ways. Ridge fits well with come and go aspect of her. The casualness of it may be what's most comforting to her. Less commitment and all. Howl seems like a slow burn with her. Someone to teach and learn from and bond that way. I think Nix may be the hardest to pair with her. Just a feeling on that one! I've been surprised before though! James has an advantage because he's BLOND. Her biggest weakness! Even then, he is a personality she hasn't really been paired up with yet. A little ball of sunshine in her life may be nice.

Eamon is overall, a very difficult muse to ship with because he's so nervous and anxiety riddled. On top of that, he's not sure he's into guy as a default so that is an arc to get over with the territory. Unfortunately for Ridge, Eamon isn't the ONS kind of guy. He may have the least chance with him out of them all. Howl would sit nicely into the need for him to feel safe. Nothing safer than a loyal dog (no pun intended). The downside is Eamon is at work a lot! So time with him may be scarce. I can see Nix and Eamon being the least likely to get together at first. There would need to be one hell of an icebreaker, but after than I can see it going so much smoother. Once again! James is the most likely choice! Nurse and Doctor combination is perfect already. Having a bright and gentle personality is the fast track to getting onto Eamons good side. I think they would be very cute together as well. The two blonds. Even though Eamon dyes his hair and is a natural brunette.

Oh~ Black Hare is 100% manipulative for anyone. She's only been shipped with one person so far despite being around for years. She's psychotic and emotionally unavailable to nearly everyone.

Lafayette is still in the works and I'm a bit stumped on him as well. He's young and probably doesn't think about hooking up or getting into relationships as much.

[laurelsofhighever]

So glad you're playing so I can send you Asks too!

I am very intrigued by As The World Falls Down. Does the knowledge of his background change Alistair in any way, do you think?

And for TWC (which I don't write but I love reading about!), could you please tell me about Time Travel? It sounds fascinating!

Thank you <3

Thank you for asking! <3 it's takn me a little while to get to it because Baldur's Gate 3 is eating into literally everything I'm doing.

Alistair's background in ATWFD is the thing that's been giving me the most trouble writing it, because so much of his personality in the game is the result of being neglected and aving his choices stripped away - even with the Wardens, though he is happier with them, he joined through conscription rather than choice. Changing that aspect of his backstory is going to have an impact, and it's been tricky trying to balance the Alistair we're more familiar with against a version that has more confidence and less self-deprecation, and trying to work out his motivations ragarding the Fereldan succession and being in charge. I did this to a lesser extent with Falcon, my other DA longfic, but there he was shuffled off to be an ordinary soldier with Teagan and wasn't acknowledged until the events of the main story. With ATWFD, it's still not a straightforward path to being declared a prince, but under the influence of the Couslands he's actively given an education that would make him fit to rule, and Bryce and Eleanor provide an actively caring environment to bring out his confidence. The aspect of his character that's most similar to the game is his bitterness, his awareness that he's being used as a political pawn - by Eamon, by Cailan, and even by Bryce to some extent - and that the expectations being placed on him mean that he's never going to have a life where he can make decisions for himself. It just comes from a different place now XD All this to say, I'm really hopeful that people won't see him as too OOC as the story goes on!

The time travel story! Several people have asked about this one, so it's hard to say something that hasn't been covered already and isn't spoilers. Apart from being convoluted because Time Travel, it's a story where I've been actively thinking about the themes and the relationships between characters, especially my Detective and Nate. They're pretty deep in the romance by this point, but the events of the plot separate them... sort of. Because of going back in time, Leah gets to see a past version of Nate and it brings up all sorts of questions around identity and consent and assumptions about her place in his life. Should she acknowledge their future connection even if it threatens the timeline? Is he even the same person she's in love with without the extra decades of life experience? Is it fair that she knows all these things about him that he doesn't know about himself, to the point where he might let slip a secret because he thinks she already knows it? And along with all this tension is the fact that he doesn't remember her being in the past so she has no idea how her interactions with past!Nate are going to end. There's going to be some fantastic angstwhen I finally get around to writing it XD

--

ask me about my WIPs

[thistle-and-thorn]

17, 18?

Hello hi!!! I think I forgot to say this but THANK YOU. I hope you are having a sparkle sunshine day.

17. A book with a yellow cover?

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata. This is a very simple novel about…a woman who works in a convenience store. It’s submerged in what the reader might assume is a neurodivergent perspective but really is sort of…a slice of life…about a woman who finds a lot of reward and joy in a job that is socially dismissed a lot of the time and how genuinely finding pleasure in being right where you are bumps up against what people think you should want. I like this one a lot.

18. Your least favorite book ever?

Omg. Okay, I have two…including one I just read, I think. The one I just read was a book called Here Goes Nothing by Eamon McGrath. My Goodreads review was: and there went nothing. It’s a nonlinear story about a guy in a touring band. My longer book blog review was:

This sucked. Like, this is already the worst book I have read and will read this year. I mean, it was remarkably bad. I listened to the audiobook version on the drive home from Boston and it was incredible. I listen to audiobooks to help pass the time and this actively made my trip feel longer. I just. It was only 2.5 hours long and I felt like I lost years to this book. The writing was inconsistent--vacillating between pretty good to sophomoric and just filled with poorly constructed metaphors. The story was confusing, without purpose or shape.

The idea of the audiobook was to have a customized soundtrack that matched the story and it just--was bad. Like, sir, the reason you never made it big as a musician is because you are bad at this. I understand the romanticization of your misspent youth and a nomadic period of your life...but this whole rebels without a cause thing just didn't land. As I grow older, my patience with the sighing, looking out the window at human foibles and disappointments grows shorter and shorter. My guy, you need better friends. You need to be a better person. Treat your mom better. That's all.

It was an interestingly gendered book--the characters are all male and apparently unable to understand or communicate...any emotion or physical urge including anger, hunger, fear, happiness in any way that is remotely productive. The lack of women here was also very noticeable. I mean--to be sure, it was about a group of men and they are in a culture where women are there to be...fucked or are their literal mothers but the narrator low-key drops that he had a nameless girlfriend the ENTIRE time in the last fifteen minutes and you're like, oh my GOD, you really...really...WHAT. You really...really treat the women in your life disposably.

I also have serious serious issues with Philip Pullman’s The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ. I thought it was intellectually lazy, boring, unfunny, and poorly constructed. I’m all for a critique and satire of organized religion (I’m an Episcopalian, it’s what we do) but do it correctly thanks ❤️🌈✨

[kantrips]

Alistair & Celia Headcanon Collection

Some Amell x Alistair (largely fluff) headcanons! Includes some from Origins, Warden time at Amaranthine and the Inquisition-era. Some of these I have had since my first playthrough, but others I may have read elsewhere, loved and thusly absorbed so please let me know if I can link anyone!

Origins

The first time they meet at Ostagar, Celia thinks Alistair is the most fascinating person she has ever encountered because no one in the Circle had a particularly boisterous sense of humour. Alistair is oblivious to her heart eyes, and also holds back because he’s worried she won’t survive the Joining.

Even after the Joining, Alistair tries very hard not to ~feel feelings~ despite the clear signals Celia is hurling at him because he assumes she won’t like him once she gets to know him more/she will get bored of him/ she will leave like everyone else i.e. the boy is hecking damaged.

Celia laughs obnoxiously hard at all Alistair’s jokes because a) she finds them unexpected, and b) because, like a dork, she wants to prove she gets the punch line. Alistair is perplexed by her reactions at first, and cautiously wonders if she is mocking him. Once he realises she is genuinely amused, it bolsters his ego significantly. 

Celia has no concept of personal space and sits and walks very close to everyone. There wasn’t a lot of room at the Circle so she forgets she can spread out. Morrigan makes it clear she needs to back off (Celia doesn’t need telling twice) but Alistair is more relaxed and gets used to it quickly after the confusion of the first night when she blithely sets up her bedroll right next to his. Alistair assumes she is a bit scared of sleeping in the forest but really she is just accustomed to the need to cram as many apprentice bunks into a room as possible.

In a way, Alistair is also used to sharing small spaces (Chantry and Wardens) so it doesn’t bother him at all when Celia chooses to sit pressed against his side, walks so their arms bump together, or unconsciously brushes an eyelash from his cheek. He quickly grows to like her overfamiliarity (for some reason…).

Similarly, Alistair eats Celia’s leftover food if she can’t finish it or doesn’t like it, even before they’re a couple. She just offers one day and after that it becomes a given. The others side-eye them but they are happily oblivious.   

Celia gets in trouble from the rest of the party for getting distracted yelling encouragement and cheering Alistair during combat. In turn, Alistair gets in trouble for turning around mid-battle to thank her when she buffs or heals him. Morrigan advises that if they are both so determined to get killed, she is more than happy to assist with hastening the process.

Celia’s mabari, Trevor, is quickly accepting of Alistair and his proximity to Celia because he observes Alistair protecting Celia in battle and thusly deems him to be a ‘good dog’ and considers that they are equals in the pack.

Alistair and Celia vandalise each other’s wanted posters whenever they come across them. It gets competitive.

Celia doesn’t really want to be in charge of saving the world but has three things working in her favour: 1) she absolutely hates letting people down 2) has an intense need to finish what she starts 3) she is in possession of a bossy streak.

That said she spends the entire Blight screaming internally to an extent not even Alistair fully grasps.

They go to the Circle Tower first, because Celia thinks she will have the best chance of getting help from people she knows and is also ‘homesick’ in the sense that she is very glad to be free of the place, but stressed enough with everything going on to crave something familiar even if she resents it. The events there devastate her. Along with the loss of friends and mentors she has known since childhood, being trapped by herself in the fade particularly terrifies her as she has never truly been alone for so long before in her life. It reminds her of the Harowing which totally blindsided her. She is very teary, untalkative and introspective for some time afterwards, but both Trevor and Alistair have the correct instinct to stay close without trying to interact with her which she finds incredibly comforting.

Accustomed to making potions, Celia will not under any circumstances deviate from a recipe while cooking, whereas Alistair just chucks everything in to use up leftovers and see what happens. Alistair gets meals together super quickly whereas Celia takes forever. A little unfairly, Celia is perceived as the better cook because she produces very consistent meals, while Alistair’s experiments sometimes do work, and sometimes don’t, with people tending to focus on the disasters rather than the successes. Meanwhile Celia is rather: “should I add half a sprig of rosemary? No I mustn’t: it would be far too daring!” so everyone learns to tip their own seasonings into their bowl before even tasting her food.

When they’re travelling and walking for days on end, Alistair and Celia make up a lot of games in the vein of ‘I spy’ and ‘would you rather?’ They can occasionally persuade others to participate though no one enjoys them or gets quite as invested as Celia and Alistair (who are actual children).

A game stops abruptly one day when Celia guilelessly asks if Alistair would rather be Emperor of Orlais or King of Fereldan and he gets extremely defensive and answers, “Neither.” Having no context for this reaction (yet), Celia (a stickler for the rules) pushes him, insisting his answer isn’t allowed and that he’s cheating until Alistair gets grouchy, stomps off and refuses to play anything for days. 

Celia figures he must be overtired, but his unhappy reaction does come back to her later at the Landsmeet and contributes to her already firm resolve not to put him on the throne.

When bored, Alistair also periodically asks Celia to, “Do a trick!” with her magic and she usually obliges with something small and silly which Wynne always scolds them for (but they continue to do anyway).

Celia does not like Eamon one bit and makes it clear from their first meeting. Alistair actually gets a bit annoyed at her because she is polite to 99% of the other people they meet and he can’t understand what her problem is. Celia won’t say because she doesn’t want to drive Alistair away so she remains coldly civil towards Eamon and commences a long, looong process of nudging Alistair towards having the realisation himself that a) Eamon is manipulative, selfish and cruel and b) Alistair deserves better.

Celia wants to collect some of the books they find which is not practical given they are constantly travelling, but Alistair carries as many as he can in his pack and suffers in silence for it, ultimately finding it worth it for her enthusiastic gratitude.

Celia cuts Alistair’s hair and does a very respectable job after weeks of him complaining it’s flopping in his eyes (they used to cut each other’s hair in the Circle). Zevran pretends she did an awful job, gasping in horror at Alistair’s appearance, much to Celia’s ire. Alistair (internally weeping) tries to be brave until he can check his reflection in some plate mail and see it is fine.

Celia is very naïve about how the ‘real world’ works having been at the Circle since she was a child. This is especially evident in Denerim and Alistair has to explain how money works and grab her before she wanders down dicey looking alleyways.

Alistair nearly dissolves into a paroxysm of agony when he points out his favourite type of cheese at the Denerim Markets and (accustomed to the very limited range of bland foods provided at the Circle) Celia innocently asks, “There is more than one type of cheese?” Alistair makes it his mission to educate her. She doesn’t like most of what he feeds her but doesn’t say so to protect his feelings given he seems to take the matter so incredibly personally.

Leliana convinces Celia to sing one evening at the campfire. She’s breathy with a very limited range but manages okay, and Leliana plays and harmonises in support. Watching on with a goofy smile plastered over his face, Alistair comments to the surrounding companions about how talented she is and they’re like “…she’s really not mate.”

When they both wake up from a blightmare (or Celia has one and wakes Alistair with her flailing) they sneak about and eat anything they can find then sit up and have massive deep & meaningfuls (i.e. in the spirit of going for a long drive with a friend or being in the garden with someone outside a party and spilling your guts). Eventually they start blaming the depleted food stores on Leliana’s nug, Schmooples, much to Leliana’s displeasure.

Given Celia usually responds so well to his jokes, Alistair gets a bit peeved when Celia starts replying to some of his more severely self-deprecating humour with an unamused, “No you’re not,” or, “That’s not true.” He defensively argues it’s just a joke, but he does stop doing it so much as time goes on.

Celia is SO excited when Alistair gives her the rose. She never in her life thought she would be the recipient of a proper ~romantic gesture~…however she accidentally sits on the rose about five minutes after she gets it. Celia is devastated. There is a lot of panic and tears and she keeps one petal pressed in a book but has to unceremoniously ditch the rest in secret.

Celia doesn’t tell Alistair about this until years later and she’s terrified he’ll be hurt but he just laughs because he was so worried he was going to be the one to squash it and then she destroyed it basically the minute she got it. Alistair acknowledges it was an impractical gift given their situation. Celia gets mad and says it was a PERFECT gift and is annoyed at how funny he finds it given this has been a crushing, guilty secret hanging over her for years.

Following this, every time Alistair gives her any kind of gift, he can’t help but throw in a ‘Don’t sit on it!” and cracks himself up, especially when Celia gets grumpy about it and accuses him of spoiling the moment. It happens so often that when Alistair chooses a horse for her and plans to teach her to ride, Celia manages to cut him off with, “Yes, I know Alistair: I can sit on this one,” and steals his thunder.

Alistair periodically says Celia’s name just to check if she’ll answer, especially after a long period of quiet or to see if she’s awake à la screaming in the chantry because it’s so silent. When she responds he says, “Nothing” or “Never mind” but he finds it vaguely comforting just to hear her reply and it’s a habit he never loses, even when they have been together for years and he is much less isolated generally. Alistair doesn’t realise he’s doing it, and it never happens frequently enough for Celia to notice: she just assumes he has lost his train of thought.

They sometimes conspire to purposely fall to the back of the group while on the road so that they can hold hands. Everyone knows full well what they are doing, but Alistair and Celia think they are being incredibly ~sneaky~.

The first time they sleep together they laugh. A lot. Before, during and after.

Alistair snores loudly but only when he’s on his back. Celia is used to the noise of people sleeping around her at the Circle so it doesn’t bother her and she doesn’t want to disturb him because she knows he needs the rest.

When they are known to be sharing a tent however, their companions will slap on the walls of it and demand she kick him until he stops snoring. Celia will relent and gently prod and nudge Alistair until he rolls over with a bit of sleepy grumbling.

I think everyone has this headcanon to the point it is basically actual canon HOWEVER I am legally obligated to include it: Alistair is a professional body heat distributor and Celia drastically cuts down on the number of blankets she uses once they are sleeping together. If she stands in front of him on cold days, he understands the non-verbal signal and will automatically wrap her in his cloak.

Also might as well be canon: Alistair likes to be the little spoon. He doesn’t say, but Celia knows.

Decidedly not a fluff one (you can skip to Amaranthine to avoid) but the ritual with Morrigan fairly significantly messes Alistair up (both the act itself and his consideration of the repercussions i.e. Kieran). He’s jubilant and relieved at their victory over the Archdemon, but in the background struggles to process and there is some fallout once the victory celebrations lull and he has time to fully register what happened. Alistair grapples with a lot of guilt, disgust and confusion. He doesn’t know how to express it or where to direct his emotions so it mainly manifests as self-loathing. He wants to talk to Celia about it but can’t articulate his feelings which makes him feel worse.

Celia tries to comfort him, but he needs space on and off for a long while after and she gives him it. She feels a lot of guilt too, and never stops wondering how much it was actually his choice to do the ritual, worrying that she made him feel like he had to do it. Eventually they discuss it openly and honestly, which eases both of their minds somewhat, but it takes a long time to get to a point where they can talk on the subject. Meeting Kieran at Skyhold also helps Alistair down the line, though it’s obviously painful.

Amaranthine & Inquisition

Alistair keeps an eye out for people struggling, especially new recruits who are having trouble fitting in. He takes them under his wing and is very good at building people up and making sure everyone is included. He’ll just start enthusiastically greeting people like they are his best friend and squeezing himself onto the bench next to them at meals until everyone else follows suit.

For recruits that don’t respond well to his ‘mother hen’ type attention, Celia is good at assigning tasks that specifically highlight their strengths and builds their confidence/sense of purpose which also gains them the respect of their peers.

Alistair has been known to stand behind Celia while she is giving mundane orders/making speeches and pull faces or impersonate her, turning stony and impassive when she spins around accusingly because people are laughing.  

But if anyone else talks smack about her he gets very, “Sorry mate, just to clarify was that comment directed at my wife, your Commander, the hERO OF FERELDAN, VANQUISHER OF AN ARCHDEMON!? That’s lucky, I didn’t THINK IT LIKELY. Because that wouldn’t be WISE, would it now?” etc. with some loud, fake laughter and firm backslapping for the worst offenders.

The plan for them to part ways so that Celia can search for a cure goes very badly, especially because Celia (under a lot of stress and not coping™) eventually devolves into, “I’m in charge and I say so,” which is a big betrayal of their agreements both to stay together, and make decisions together on equal footing. She realises this and takes it back but Alistair is demoralised and gives in with a bit of petty, sarcastic reverence e.g. saluting and, “Whatever you say boss, don’t know why I dared to utter an opinion how foolish of me...” so they still part on slightly strained terms, even after later mutually apologising and trying to make the most of their time together before they go.

Both regret the argument during their separation and write horribly soppy letters to each other, but something still feels uncomfortably unresolved until they are together again. They pine. So much. It’s disgusting and cliched. There is considerable sighing and staring at the moon or deep into tankards, very much to the ire of those around them. Alistair can be particularly annoying: “This roll reminds me of my wife...she eats bread sometimes...”

After Celia sends the letter to the Inquisitor, she writes to Leliana directly along the lines of, “I know it was incredibly subtle but I wanted to check: did they get the message? That I will destroy them if Alistair gets hurt?” and Leliana replies in the vein of, “Hon, it wasn’t even remotely subtle ffs…”

When reunited, though ecstatic and nearly delirious with joy and relief, it takes a while to rebuild the trust they once had, especially for Alistair. There’s an unfamiliar awkwardness that flares up unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last and they’re both fully committed to each other and to staying together permanently this time.

Celia and Alistair have a conversation recapping everything that happened while they were apart in which Celia is all, “Poor Hawke. Honestly I’m shocked you didn’t do something obscenely idiotic like try and sacrifice yourself thank the Maker for that…” and Alistair is there, nervously sweating, looking for an exit, loosening his collar etc.

As they settle back into their old routines Alistair will occasionally blurt out things like, “I really like having breakfast with you,” and then berate himself internally for how trite that sounds but Celia replies on cue, “I love waking up next to you and the way you groan when you stretch your back out and the way you check your hair twice before you leave the room and the way you complain if I don’t eat my crusts and the way you still hold my hand when we’re walking...” and basically they’re just blissfully happy being comfortably domestic and even as they get older they are forever just teenagers in love.

The Wardens at Amaranthine acquire/receive a griffon egg and the hatchling imprints on Alistair and decides he is their mother. It can’t cope with separation, crying constantly if Alistair goes out of sight, and won’t let anyone else feed or handle it so Alistair carries them in a sling 24/7. He gets to give orders and run training sessions with the tiny griffon occasionally poking its head out just to glare at everyone.

Whenever the baby griffon squeaks, Alistair automatically replies, “Well said,” or “Excellent point, Ser Beaksly” with a totally straight face.

For the first few months, Celia gets nipped or scratched if she approaches Alistair unless he wraps the griffon up. It so badly wants to fight her. Celia is permitted to sleep in her own bed, as long as the griffon sleeps curled on Alistair’s chest and Celia doesn't try anything outrageous like touching her husband even fleetingly. It gets a little frustrating as the months drag on, but the image of Alistair with the sling over his armour, or with the griffon snuggling possessively around his neck staring daggers at everyone, is so entertaining that Celia can’t get truly annoyed about it. As the griffon gets older it does learn to tolerate other people and becomes more independent but remains very protective of Alistair and favours him above all others. Insert the ‘Ah yes. Me. My husband. And his thousand pound murder-bird-cat child’ meme here.

Modern AU Bonus Round

They share headphones while commuting.

They occasionally end up wearing sort of matching outfits, mostly unintentionally.

They consistently refer to their dog, Trevor, as their son to the point that people who aren’t familiar with them assume that they actually have a child.

[zaeedsflipflops]

I know it’s kind of a joke that Jowan constantly messes up, but... he doesn’t?

You could make the argument he messes up when he dabbles in blood magic in the Circle since he’s so likely to be caught, but even that’s really debatable in my eyes. The blood magic rumors, Irving removing the books and having Uldred root out maleficarum, all of that seems recent. Jowan’s clearly been waiting for his Harrowing for a while. If I had to guess, a reason he got into blood magic was because he was afraid he wouldn’t get his Harrowing, not the other way round. He was probably already doomed, blood magic or no, and he knew it.

As for his escape attempt, it nearly goes off without a hitch (assuming the Warden doesn’t rat him out). He and Lily nearly escape unnoticed. The factors that got them caught were bad timing and not due to his incompetence or a bad plan. And he does escape anyway! He succeeds, and if Lily hadn’t turned on him, they would’ve been able to escape together as planned.

And yeah, he gets caught, but of course he does. Anders escaped 7+ times and got caught each time and he’s smart, cunning and hellbent on freedom. Morrigan and Flemeth lived in the middle of the Wilds and still had Templars sniffing around. Getting caught isn’t a mark of incompetence or even of bad luck. It’s kind of an inevitability, especially for Circle mages who don’t have real life skills or social connections they can use once free (which is, of course, precisely the reason they aren’t taught said skills/allowed outside connections)

What’s Jowan’s next “mistake”? That he agrees to poison Eamon. Bad decision? Not really. Not when taking into account what Jowan knows. Like he says, why wouldn’t he listen to and believe Loghain? The Queen’s father/Hero of River Dane? And it’s not like he can refuse when the alternative is certainly execution or tranquility.

Every one of Jowan’s “fuck ups” is not actually a fuck up. Everything he does is in pursuit of freedom and survival and he gets really close (and might’ve succeeded if he hadn’t stayed to help Connor). It’s just that the cards are stacked against him, and every other mage, from the start. Of course things keep going awry. That he manages to circumvent so many obstacles anyway is really impressive.

[yetanotherlesbianonthiswebsite]

On Alistair’s decisions in my worldstate

Despite what she has come to understand, believe, and live, Imerati actually quickly finds sympathy for this former templar. She understands what it means to be given no choice by the chantry, to be lied to from one's earliest days to be molded for a purpose. She appreciates that this new comrade-at-arms has seen how horrible the templars are and has changed his ways upon that realization. He enjoys that she communicates directly and doesn't conceal what is on her mind.

Ostagar happens. Many die. Two survive. Imerati does not really understand why, among thousand dead comrades, Alistair mourns Cailan the loudest. To her, it was just another human with way too much power. But she understands the pain Alistair feels for not having done enough. She knows the pain of powerlessness really well. And she supports his desire to kill Loghain. Not only because she knows he feels like some of this has been his fault and wants to give him an opportunity to do something that might bring him a feeling of having corrected a wrong. But also because she remembers how Loghain has refused to help the dying Wardens, how he turned his back on people in need.

Treaties are upheld. Alliances are forged. Arls are resurrected. Imerati understands now why Alistair mourns Cailan, though she still doesn't feel the same. She appreciates that Alistair so wholeheartedly rejects the power that comes from his father. And she appreciates how supportive Alistair has been about her relationship to her new girlfriend. Alistair worries, he worries that he will have to bend to Eamon's wishes and become king. Imerati assures him that she will defend his decision and his agency.

A landsmeet is called. A regent is killed. A queen is designated. Imerati had helped Alistair find his supposed sister. Yes, of course, she had said. If that is what you wish. He had also wished to be the one to battle Loghain. Imerati had made it so. He had wanted not to become king. Imerati had made it so. He had not wanted to marry Anora. Imerati would have rather married Anora herself than force Alistair into a marriage. The former templar and the outspoken circle abolitionist have grown to be friends, unlikely friends, good friends.

Preparations for battle. Meetings for wardens. Proposals for rituals. Imerati likes Morrigan - more than likes, if she is honest. She would have liked what Morrigan proposed even without it guaranteeing a tactical advantage. But somehow, without anyone understanding why, Imerati isn't eligible for the ritual. She tries to ask Alistair if he wants to do it. He says no, absolutely not. Imerati has overheard such nos too many times in the circle. And unlike the templars back at Kinloch Hold, she will not push past it. She knows what Alistair has been through - a life with decisions constantly made for him, without any agency of his own. She tells him that she will respect his decision regarding the ritual as well. He tries to thank her, she dismisses it. She has chosen to dedicate her life to bringing agency to the souls who are robbed of it. No need to be thankful for that.

A city wall falls. A senior Grey Warden dies. An archdemon struggles. The two friends stand atop Fort Drakon, a decision to be made. Imerati had feared this decision, she would have such a hard time volunteering herself. She has found someone to live for. Leliana. She couldn't break Leliana's heart. But Alistair speaks first. He will do it, that is his decision. She apologizes for being relieved that he has made this decision for them, he dismisses it. She has chosen to respect his agency and decisions for his life, no need to feel guilty about accepting his decision for his death. They hug, and Imerati starts crying. Go, he says. And she goes.

A hero is buried. A heroine is lauded. A queen is coronated.

I talked about this with @vhenaqui a couple of days ago and thought it deserved some proper short textualization. One of the most common question regarding my AU is why Alistair made the sacrifice. I hope this is a bit of in-universe explanation for this. The true reason why Alistair dies in my AU is Gaider going “a woman impregnating a woman would be far too difficult to explain”. So, if it weren’t for BioWare’s dismissal of trans people as heros, Imerati could have participated in the ritual. She would have been able to, even without the use of magic. But alas, so is the worldstate now.

[joiningthefandomeightyearslate]

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by not making sense but this is my interpretation as to why she does make sense. (Note most of my information comes from DAO I'm not familiar with the media outside the games.)

First of all it's important to remember people don't like that Isolde don't like that she is the wife to Arl Eamon. She is very Orlesian and was daughter of the occupying Orlesian governor. The war for independence is still very fresh in everyone's mind. The ruling class is currently run by people who were the rebels or their children. They are not going to trust her.

So politically she is walking a tight rope of respectability to stay safely married to Eamon, whom she loves. Then after Conor is born not only is she concerned for her safety and future, but now how the people perceive him and her puts his safety and future on the line as well.

So how does she maintain appearances?

First we are going to assume that DA follows some of the gender roles seen in much of European history. This means as an Arl's wife she has two jobs. One is to basically be in charge of what goes on in the house. Everything from entertaining guests to keeping the books to making sure the servants do their jobs. The second is to produce an heir.

Now from everything we see having a son was something Isolde wanted. She loves her son, and is very protective of him. But given the information above a lot depends on her son being a perfect heir. Not only that but she is very religious and well we know how the chantry treats mages.

Not only would him being a mage take her boy away from her, but it would also give ammunition for those who oppose her to push Eamon to divorce her. Or even convince someone to threaten he life. She has failed her job of providing an heir, and as it was hard for them to get this one child the chances of having another are slim. Not to mention there is no guarantee another child wouldn't be a mage as well.

So the reasons for hiding/denying he is a mage include, Isolde doesn't want her son taken away from her, religious indoctrination that basically says mages are evil, and that by failing at her job at producing an heir it puts her life and livelihood on the line. Remember she doesn't have to believe she has failed her husband, or even her detractors truly believe she has failed, they need an excuse.

Now about Alistair.

She didn't seem to care about him at first, but when she got pregnant with Connor rumors of Alistair being Eamon's bastard resurfaced. The fact Eamon kept an eye on him didn't help these rumors. Hell even if Eamon told Isolde the truth of Alistair's heritage that wouldn't have helped, because who Alistair was the son of didn't matter. What mattered was if other people thought Alistair was Eamon's son.

All her detractors had to do was say Alistair was Eamon's son and a proper Ferelden boy. Remember, Connor is the grandson of an occupying Orlesian governor. Isolde is unpopular with nobles just by being her father's daughter, and if they can chip away at her son's legitimacy they will.

Now Isolde isn't just protecting herself but her son. Alistair to her isn't a boy just trying to live his life and find family. He is a symbol of people trying to hurt her and her son. This is why she treats him so poorly and has him sent away, and this is most likely why Eamon agrees to it.

Alistair is a threat to their son by just being rumored to be Eamon's bastard, and like it or not Connor by existing is as much of a shield for Isolde as she tries to be a shield for him. Sending him away protects Eamon's wife and son, without exposing Alistair's true father.

This is why Isolde doesn't feel guilty for how she treated Alistair, and more than likely why Alistair is ambivalent. Yes it obviously hurt and traumatized him, but I get the impression that as an adult he knows she was in a shitty position and just protecting her son. This doesn't stop him from wanting some form of apology, or recognition that he was wronged. But as I said to Isolde, Alistair wasn't a kid but the rumor that threatened her child.

isolde is a super interesting character i wish any of her lore made sense

[5lazarus]

This is gonna be fun because I know so little about Dragon Age, but here goes: A priest gets ex-communicated from his order due to a series of increasingly unlikely events which make the priest appear to be doing something sacrilegious when in fact he was trying to overcorrect for the previous appearance of sacrilege.

finally got this done! this was a lot of fun. Alistair the Accidental Heretic, crossposted to AO3 here.

Alistair gets bored during morning prayer and starts changing the words of the Chant as he sings. Mother Prudence and Knight-Commander Greagoir are less than pleased, and soon he finds himself tripping up over accidental heresy even within the kitchens of Kinloch Hold. It's not easy, being a half-elf templar with a conscience, because even having a sense of humor is heresy.

They’ve caught him snoring through Lauds three times this week, so Alistair really wants to stay awake through this time. He thinks active thoughts: fireballs to the face, Isolde screeching when he broke her favorite bottle of perfume, nug-racing with the kitchen staff. Still he finds himself drifting. Mother Prudence’s voice has this wonderful soporific quality. She gurgles the Chant like raindrops in a drainpipe.

He drifts off, eyes alighting on the stained glass window above the altar. Andraste stands silent, wreathed in flames, while Shartan without the ears fires arrows as Hessarian pulls out his sword. It’s all very Chantry, all very templar-y, which of course is to be expected because he is in a chantry and surrounded by templars and these robes are really quite itchy, they really need to try something finer spun, because what if he breaks out into a rash? Alistair is amused. If he scratches himself enough he can raise enough bumps to make it look like he has a rash, that he’s allergic to the templar uniform, and then they’ll have to let him home. They’ll have to. He’d rather go back to waiting on Arl Eamon’s squires than sing the Chant. “Maker have mercy, it never ends,” Alistair mutters to himself. He leans back in the pew. Sure, the shuffling is annoying, but at least he’s making it obvious he’s not falling asleep. He yawns. The guy next to him shoots him a glare. Alistair rolls his eyes.

Mother Prudence continues to sing, and boy is she getting old. She warbles and Alistair thinks this must be why the Maker turned away in the first place, because the singing’s so bad. If everyone singing at all ends of the earth in harmony would bring Him back, would He be mad if they’re off key? He snickers to himself. The guy next to him, some landholder’s brat from Honnleath, shoots him a furious stare. “What?” Alistair says. “You’re being disrespectful,” he says. “Oh come on,” Alistair says. The liturgy stops and the hall falls silent, but Alistair can’t help himself, he keeps going on. “At least I’m awake. Listen, singing that bad is the reason the Maker turned away in the first place.” Mother Prudence gasps. Alistair looks around at the shocked templar faces around him and mutters, “Damn. Tough crowd.” They wash his mouth out first for the swear and second for the heresy. Unfortunately he was not heretical enough to be thrown out of the templars--but they do flog him, and like a child. Alistair is left sniffling and resentful, avoiding the others’ jeers as he walks gingerly into the mess hall. He eyes the hard bench warily, and rubs his backside. He kneels at his seat instead of sitting. “What are you doing?” the Honnleath recruit asks. “Praying,” Alistair snaps back. He groans as Mother Prudence enters the hall for the evening prayer before dinner. Achingly he maneuvers back onto his feet. Mother Prudence warbles, “Blessed are THEEEEY who STAAAAAAND beFOOOORE the corrUUUPT,” she sings it like she’s hiding a burp, “and the WIIIIIICked and do not FAAAALter.” Alistair looks around questioningly. “She’s off-rhythm today,” he remarks. “This is worse than usual.” The templars, recruits and all, bellow back, “BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS, THE CHAMPIONS OF THE JUUUUUST!” Alistair winces and rubs his ears, massaging the tapered points. He knows his mother must have been an elf, because he’s got the eyes and the hearing. For a second he envies the servants, who get to avoid evening prayer as they clean up the kitchen. He knows he should be grateful that Arl Eamonn elevated him to his human father’s status, but he’d rather be a cheesemonger than this. A Chantry sister rings a bell. Mother Prudence grandly announces to the hall, “Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him.” The templars reply, “Foul and corrupt are they who have taken His gift and turned it against His children.” Alistair mutters instead, “Fowl and carrots are they who have taken His grits and turned it against his chitterlings.” The Honnleath guy elbows him. “What?” Alistair says, annoyed. “I’m hungry. Doesn’t ‘maleficar’ sound like a type of fancy Orlesian cheese?” He gapes at him, and Alistair shrugs. “Am I really the only one in this order who has a sense of humor? Is this what lyrium does to you?” A heavy hand comes down hard on his shoulder. Alistair giggles nervously to himself, and slowly cranes his neck up. “Ah, Knight-Commander Greagoir. Fancy seeing you here. Anything I can do to help?” “Alistair,” the Knight-Commander says wearily. “You know the drill. Out. No supper.” “Not even fancy cheese? We’ve been singing about it all day--” Greagoir gives him a gentle shove, and Alistair stops talking before he can dig himself deeper and make a joke about being a maleficarum, which would probably lose him the benefit of the doubt and get him killed. He hates the templars, but he likes living more.  He paces around the dormitory to stave off hunger, because now he’s gotten himself anxious. He’s never met a blood mage and doubts he will, some of the older recruits will talk knowingly about Harrowings gone wrong, but from what he can tell, most of them go exactly right, it’s all about having the right mentality, and isn’t that the whole point of the Fade? It reflects what it’s given. So if he goes into the Fade with a mage and starts singing about chitterlings, there won’t be demons, just a feast. Alistair giggles in the silent room. Then his stomach growls, first going low, then rising an octave, warbling for a bit, and then settling to a moan. He clutches his gut. He’s a growing boy: he needs food, or else his thoughts will wander, and he’ll end up accidentally coming up with heresy again. He is particularly proud of that thought. Feed him or else he’ll become a heretic. Alistair grins and says, “Well, that’s sorted. Guess I’ll go to the kitchens then.” No one answers back, because he is in an empty room, but the Knight-Commander never actually told him to stay put, so he roves out in search of food, and maybe even companionship. The servants don’t like the templars or the mages much, though some of the other mixed-blood children give him the occasional curious look. Everyone is always trying to figure out whose son he is. Alistair would like to know, too. Arl Eamon told him his father is of noble blood, though not of Eamon’s own line--a nice way of telling him he isn’t his bastard, and Alistair can tell from his own face that his mother must have been an elf. He only hopes she hadn’t been coerced in some way, that she had been happy to have a baby, that it wasn’t ruination and damnation and shame, because the elves don’t like it when their people step out with humans either, but those thoughts are hungry thoughts, laced with despair, and when Alistair reaches the kitchen door frame, he silences them. The kitchen is empty but for the head cook, sitting at the head of a long flour-dusted table. He is studying a menu, squinting angrily. Alistair almost hesitates. He doesn’t want to interrupt. But the head cook catches his eye, and waves him in. The head cook has ears like him and the same eyebrows and chin. Maybe he’s a cousin. Everyone is related somehow, he hopes. He’d like to have relatives, and anyway, he’s nice to him sometimes, and has let him sneak leftovers before, so Alistair has high hopes for at least a snack tonight. “Hello!” Alistair sings out. “Was wondering if there’s any leftover cheese I can nibble on.” The cook stares at him. He says, “What are you, a mouse?” Alistair says hopefully, “Squeak, squeak.” He fixes his best innocent look onto his face. “They sent me to bed without supper again. But the Knight-Commander said nothing about a snack!” The cook scoffs. “What’d you do? Isn’t this the third time this week?” Alistair grins sheepishly. “I might’ve said ‘maleficarum’ sounds like a type of Orlesian cheese.” “Sweet Shartan,” the cook says, then corrects himself. “Maker’s breath.” He looks at Alistair significantly, and Alistair knows he is supposed to pretend he didn’t hear the elvhen prophet’s name. “Whoever’s bastard you must be, he’s a powerful man. Did they whip you?” “Eh,” Alistair rubs the back of his head. “Earlier, for something else.” The cook boggles. “What’d you do? Sing the Canticle of Shartan? How they haven’t burned you, I don’t know.” “Aw, they wouldn’t do that. They don’t burn people anymore,” Alistair says. The cook shakes his head. Alistair blinks. “They don’t, do they? They don’t even burn blood mages! It’s just a Smite or the noose nowadays. The Chantry wouldn’t do that!” The elf says, “They did that in the Dales. They did that to Andraste. What makes you special?” “Woah,” Alistair says. “You’re the one who brought up Shartan. I don’t even know the canticle.” He hesitates. “Well, the whole canticle.” He has heard some of the mages whispering it to each other, in corners of the library, where they don’t realize it’s enchanted to echo. “Do you?” The cook says sharply, “I don’t talk religion with templars. You might have the ears of the People, boy, but you don’t have the soul.” He folds the piece of paper and slips it into his apron, and Alistair understands suddenly that perhaps the week’s menu is not written on that piece of paper, but something infinitely more interesting. He thinks to himself, blessed are the chitterlings, the champagne of the just. “Hey,” Alistair says. “Hey! I didn’t ask for this. I won’t--I’m not a templar! I don’t want to be. What’s your problem? I’m just here for the cheese.” The cook sighs. “You need to get out of here,” he informs him. “Not just my kitchen. The Circle. Because with your sense of humor, and your ears, not even noble blood will protect you. And you’ll drag anyone seen talking to you down with you.” Alistair snaps back, “‘A dog might slink back to the hand it has bitten and be forgiven, but a slave never. If you would live, and live without fear, you must fight.’” He rears back, grinning proudly. He has always had an excellent memory for recitation. “Don’t I know it.” “Get out,” the cook says flatly. “Out. Don’t even look at me, kid. Get the fuck out, heretic. And for the sake of your mother, I’ll give you a piece of cheese.” Alistair leaves abruptly, gnawing on a piece of cheese, and takes a lesson from it. He keeps his mouth shut during lessons and prayers. The servants don’t even look at him when he passes them in the halls, and he doesn’t dare go to the kitchen when he’s hungry anymore. He speaks when spoken to, looks up only when addressed, and when the Grey Warden arrives, looking for volunteers, he throws himself at him, because he didn’t mean to be a heretic, but it seems like the only way to be.

[slamthedoor]

Conversations with Self and Better Self

On the Beach

“Did I see you push your cigarette butt into the sand?”

“Yes, sorry.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“I know, sorry.”

“Why don’t you put it in the bin?”

“It’s easy, it just disappears, you see.”

“I repeat, why don’t you put it in the bin?”

“I could have, but I didn’t, I’m lazy, sorry.”

“You keep saying sorry, but I know you don’t mean it.”

“I know, sorry.”

“I don’t like you very much.”

“I feel the same about you.”

“Don’t you care what other people think about you?”

“Not much - do you?”

“‘Course I do - I have a social conscience.”

“Good for you. Have a coconut.”

“I’m lost for words. You’re disgusting.”

“I know, have a nice day.”

***************

The Racist

“You’re a racist.”

“I’m sorry you think that.”

“Is it because you think they are different to you?”

“I don’t like the way this thing is going.”

“Why?”

“Because to tell you how I feel about stuff, you will not understand me.”

“True.”

“If was a racist in a wheelchair, would you still judge me?”

“Of course, but I would allow for your anger.”

“Why?”

“Because I would feel sorry for you.”

“Why?”

“Because you can’t do what I can do.”

“Is that all?”

“Hang on, now you’re making me feel guilty, and I don’t like it.”

“Good, now you know how I feel.”

“I don’t care how you feel, you’re a racist.”

“Touche!”

****************

Glad to be Gay

“I’m glad to be gay.”

“Good for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t care really.”

“I thought so, you should care, really.”

“Do you care if I’m straight?”

“Not really, you are not part of my world any more, I’ve moved on.”

“Don’t say that, I’m starting to feel lonely.”

“Don’t, you can’t help being who you are.”

“I thought that was your line?”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you said you were born this way, and that’s it.”

“That’s what?”

“That you’re gay.”

“Oh I see, it’s that simple, is it?”

“Not really, nothing’s simple, it just forms a kind of barrier between us.”

“Why is that, can’t you accept me for who I am?”

“Of course, but we are different, I feel as if I have become a threat to you.”

““I don’t know what you mean.”

“This conversation is becoming difficult.”

“Why?”

“Because my daughter is gay and she keeps cropping up in my mind, I feel as if I will be misunderstood, and it stops my flow.”

“That’s a shame, talk to me instead.”

“It’s very important to me, this stream of consciousness, without it I have nothing to say apart from - this is all becoming rather humourless, again.”

“I know what you mean.”

“So let’s share the pride before we fall.”

************

That Kate Humble

“I love that Kate Humble. Don’t you?”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, she’s so nice and interesting.”

“Is that a good thing? I find her boring and insincere.”

“How can you say such a thing, she’s never off the telly.”

“I know, that’s the problem. Programmers are lazy, and will just wheel out these characters and place them in more and more bizarre and pointless situations.”

“But I know her; she’s dependable.”

“I wish she’d live up to her name.”

“Meaning?”

“Get humble and fuck off, give some other hopeful a taste.”

“That’s abusive.”

“I know, it’s the only language they understand. What’s her latest show about?”

“I think it’s called, ‘Kate Humble Gets Interested in Everything!’ I’ll tell you a show I’d like to see.”

“What would that be?”

“‘Kate Humble licks Chris Packham’s Arsehole! And Then they Both Share the Experience with a Top London Therapist’“

“That’s disgusting!”

“Yes, but funny, actually hilarious. How about ‘Kate Humble Cashes Another Cheque for Looking Concerned and Interesting and Always Saying the Right Thing’: She’s a fucking genius!”

“Why do you hate her so much?”

“Not hating, just bemused. Here’s another one, ‘Eamon Holmes and Kate Humble on a waterbed filled with piss, and it bursts!’ It could be called ‘Holmes and Humble get Pissy in a Caring sort of Way’.”

“Please! You are not funny!”

“Was I ever? tThere’s not much you can laugh at any more.”

“I’m not surprised, with your attitude to life, bitter and resentful.”

“I agree, the search goes on. Mind you, you don’t have to look far, it’s all fucking hilarious.”

“I think I have to go.”

“I don’t blame you, me too.”

[greypetrel]

party 4 and codex 7 for all the girls (or whoever you want to do) :)

Hi Mary, thank you for asking!! :D

Here's another academic paper on my blorbos, thank you for enabling it! <3

Tis the prompt list

PARTY

4. Are there any companions (or advisors) they don’t get along with? Have any of them ever left the party?

Alyra: She had a rough time getting along with Leliana ("God told me to come with you!" "Oh most holy blessed Mythal give me strenght...") but they eventually found common ground and got along, Leliana taught her her specialization and how to stab people even better. The one she got along the least with is Wynne. She respect her skills greatly, but can't stand how nosey she is with her love life and why she thinks she has any right to talk. Everyone is an adult and expressed consent, there's no more to say. They may share some moralities, but their ways are really different. Nobody left the party, tho, she doesn't hate Wynne. Her hate goes only for Arl Eamon (Teagan's not intelligent enough, to her, to be hated).

Raina: Already answered here! (for brevity: she doesn't get along with Sebastian, both him and Anders left after the Chantry)

Aisling: Vivienne. She's a people pleaser and convinced that people are inherently good. But, there are boundaries she won't go against. They're really incompatible people, all in all. Aisling hates the Game and has to put effort in masking what she's thinking and feeling... Which for Vivienne is all political ammunition and something Aisling should stop doing. Aisling is not ambitious and couldn't care less for power, whilst for Vivienne is rightfully a matter of personal freedom and interest. Their relationship was... Polite, but educate, save a couple of episodes. Aisling avoid her at the best because she knows they don't get along, but keeps it civil. (Except the one time Vivienne called Cole "her pet demon" and she snapped and answered in tow. The whole of the Inquisition never says the word "Pet" in her presence as a consequence.) When Vivienne asked her for help with the potion... Aisling took it in stride, thought it was a way to finally build a relationship, that maybe Vivienne doesn't really hate her, maybe they can be friends! (she's a people pleaser, yes). When she brought her to assist to Laurent she was pretty sure she warmed up to her, got back to Skyhold all giddy and smiley. And then, Vivienne introduced her to Laurent's family just to make herself look better, all but told her she used her kindness... And that was it, for Aisling. She felt horrible and never trusted her again. She doesn't really believe that in the Exalted Council she got her to spa day out of good heart, for her it's pity at the best, some sort of political scheme at worst.

Radha: She smelled Blackwall's lie in a couple of days. She... Knew he was hiding something. Never trusted him one bit, he was too vague on the Wardens. Particularly after meeting an actual one. She never kicked him out, but it wasn't a surprise when he revealed his true identity. Sent him to the Wardens without a second thought. Wasn't so keen on Sera as well, too much shitting on her culture, she didn't feel like listening to her if she wasn't willing to do the same first, but she never kicked her out.

Codex:

7. How do they feel about religions that are not their own, like the Chantry or the Qun?

Alyra: You can believe in a mystical wheel of cheese for all she cares. As long as you don't hurt others, your house, your rules, she'll ask you what does the wheel of cheese do and leave you be. She's not ok with religion mixing with politics: it's not religion anymore, it's doctrine, and she's not ok with that. Particularly with the Chantry, she thinks it's highly hypocrite of them to fuck both mages and templars as they do and call it morality. Politically, she very rarely listen to the Chantry, cares about it just because she can... But let's say that in Vigil's Keep the Chantry has no saying or political power, they can hold mass and she's ok, she won't invite any Chantry Mother to her private council.

Raina: Doesn't trust the Chantry for obvious reasons, it was what forced her father and siblings to hide and fucked their lives. She's fascinated by the Qun. Mind me, she'd do HORRIBLY under it... But the idea of everything being in order, having some clear task to do ahead, is something she finds soothing. Elven gods are good enough, after enough with Merrill she'll got interested in them and will start to respect them enough, if Merrill wants to celebrate, she'll give her support and help. Why not? If the Maker and Andraste exist, why not the Creators.

Aisling: She's interested in religions as philosophies, she has no problems accepting Andraste too as a deity, why not? She doesn't worship nor follow the Chant of Light, but can see the beauty in its philosophy, will bring her mind leaves here and there. (started as a misunderstanding over the Maker's stale breath... She kept it up out of habit). Some things of the Qun are good as well, as a philosophy! She's very respectful for every religion in personal use... For her as well the situation changes when it mixes with politics. Can't condone the Chantry as an institution for what it did to both Mages and Templars, can't condone the Qun as an institution for how they treat mages and how in his personal mission Bull was nullified as an identity, and forced to choose between his culture and his men. She's the one more prone to come to a mixed cult, Ameridan's style.

Radha: Respects the right of other people to believe in what they want. As long as they keep her believing in her own gods. Has maybe a harder time distinguishing philosophy and institutions, Andrastianism for her is tainted by the Chantry, and the Qun as well. (even if she's the one who'll fare the best under the Qun, actually) Will learn about them for the sake of it... Believing in anything else? No, thank you.

[ratingtheframe]

Lights, camera, lockdown! All the films I watched at home this November.

Last month, the UK went on a one month down lockdown, causing cinemas to shut and new releases to be put on hold.

In fact, Christopher Nolan’s Tenet was the only multi million dollar film to be released this year. It’s painful to think that Dune was supposed to be released almost two weeks from now and that we have to wait several months to see the sci fi film hit screens. Despite the post poned releases and closing of cinema chains, there are still some great films I hadn’t seen and used last month as an opportunity to look into them. Even though I didn’t see as much as I did in October, the quality of the films I managed to see this month is high.

His House (2020) as seen on Netflix

Starting off reasonably well with this horror brought to you by Netflix that centers the life around two immigrants and a spirit haunting the new lives they’re trying to build in the UK. It’s certainly a new perspective that I haven’t seen in horror and definitely isn’t a film for the fainted hearted for some of the scenes in this are genuinely terrifying. The overall message was thought provoking and poignant as it sort of spoke for those who’ve lost their lives attempting to seek asylum and those whoa are still struggling to find a new home.

His House is available to watch on Netflix. Score: 9/10  

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight (2020) as seen on Netflix 

Definitely one of the most surprisingly good films I watched this month, Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is a classic Netflix horror from Poland. The film follows a group of Polish teenagers addicted to social media who are sent to a camp to curb their addiction. However, when on a hike through the woods, one of the teens goes missing and without a phone to call for help, the kids are forced to face two grotesque monsters feeding upon humans. From start to finish, this film was highly entertaining and had a good structure to it. There were no gimmicks or cliches and it’s definitely a film I’d recommend to just about anyone. 

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight is available to watch on Netflix. 

Score: 10/10

The Ring (2002) as seen on BBC iPlayer

Gore Verbinski’s (A Cure for Wellness, Pirates of the Caribbean) infamous horror is a cult classic and must watch for scary movie fans. Usually horror films can be too gimmicky and borderline cringey without an ounce of substance to them. However, The Ring is surprisingly good in that it possesses a deep narrative with three dimensional characters, good acting and wonderful direction. When a journalist’s (Naomi Watts) niece dies in unknown circumstances, she embarks on a journey to discover a horrifying tape that if watched, kills you in a week’s time. The box office sales for this film speaks for itself seeing as the film made nearly $130 million when it was released back in 2002. The Ring is certainly not for the faint hearted, so if horror isn’t your thing, I’d advise you stay well away from it. 

Score: 9/10 

Misery (1990) as seen on Netflix

Stephen King’s Misery is turned into an unsettling thriller starring Kathy Bates and James Caan. Author Paul Sheldon (James Caan) ends up getting caught in a snow storm, that seems his car veer off the road, leaving him in a critical state. However, a seemingly caring and selfless woman, Annie (Kathy Bates) takes him in, using her work as a nurse to care for him. It turns out that Annie is a super fan of Paul’s work and the care she has for him soon turns nasty and sadistic, leaving Paul in a panicked state for he is in the middle of nowhere with a practical psychopath. I wouldn’t say Misery is one of best adaptations of King’s novels. There are better pieces of work by Stephen King that have been made into movies such as IT, The Green Mile and 1922. The pace was quite slow and the fact that it took place in only one settling detracted from the progression of the film. However, it’s entertaining, well cast and had a decent story to it. 

Score: 7/10

Drive (2011) as seen on Amazon Prime 

Drive is 1000% one of the best films I’ve seen this year, in my entire life in fact. It’s incredibly bold, ambitious, vivid, subtle and heart wrenching at moments. A stunt driver (Ryan Gosling) is torn between the world of crime he partakes in and the love he has for a young woman (Carey Mulligan) that lives in the apartment next door to his. The subtlety and sensitivity that both Gosling and Mulligan brought to this film was so pure and authentic to their characters, whilst bringing an underlying sadness to the entirety of the film. By the end of the film you want to cry but aren’t sure why and these sorts of films are rare to find. The sound track and SFX in this are unreal, again adding to the confirmation that this film is one of a kind.

Score: 12/10 

Time (2020) as seen on Amazon Prime

I was delighted to see Amazon Prime had put this straight onto their service seeing as I’d missed out on Time during the London Film Festival two months ago. This is one of the most moving and deep pieces of work I’ve seen this year. Time is a documentary filmed over 20 years that details the life of a woman trying to seek justice for her husband who was put in prison for life for armed robbery. Not only is she fighting for her husband, but also her four sons, two of which weren’t even born when their father was put away in jail. Fox Rich lives in Louisiana, one of America’s toughest states when it comes to the criminal justice system. Sentences are of some of the highest in the entire country and are especially harsher to people of colour. Fox and her husband took the fatal and desperate decision to rob a bank in a bid to support their business and family. This drastic choice took Fox’s husband away from his family and for 2 decades, Fox spent time trying to get her husband out of jail. The thing that moved me the most about this documentary was her sons; four beautiful, smart and driven men who grew up without a father. It made me wonder how proud Fox must be of her kids and to see her fight for her husband and remain loyal to him is enough love to last two lifetimes. 

Time is available to watch on Amazon Prime now.

Score: 10/10

The Departed (2006) as seen on DVD

Throughout this two and a half hour film I was wondering how they had managed to get Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg to do a film together. And the answer is that this epic and high profile movie was directed by the infamous Martin Scorsese. It’s a mystery why I hadn’t seen this film sooner, seeing as it was a huge hit during its release making a staggering $291 million worldwide during its release. This is definitely DiCaprio’s best film (next to Revolutionary Road and The Revenant) and his performance was incredibly punchy and strong throughout. Everyone in this film was top class and the dialogue fitted well with each character with a natural story progression throughout. A top notch, Hollywood, must watch film.

Score: 10/10 

Murder by Numbers (2002) as seen on Amazon Prime

One of Ryan Gosling’s earliest films follows two high school students committing a sadistic murder simply to see just how it feels. Detective Cassie Mayweather (Sandra Bullock) is put on the case to solve the murder and quickly pieces the case together, leading her to Richard Haywood (Ryan Gosling) and Justin Pendleton (Michael Pitt) two students at the same high school. I wouldn’t say this film was bad, however the ending played a big part in the overall quality of the film. It had a good pace and characters, however the ending definitely let down the film for it was rushed and unaligned to the rest of the film. Ryan Gosling’s performance at the tender age of 22 was pretty decent and definitely stated to everyone else his ability as an actor for years to come. 

Score: 7/10

All Good Things (2010) as seen on Amazon Prime

As you can tell by now, I went on a Ryan Gosling whip this month. All Good Things is the true story of David Marks (Ryan Gosling), whose wife Katie (Kirsten Dunst) disappears and still to this day, has never been found. Marks was the prime suspect in the disappearance case but was never found guilty and lives a free man. Even though the story was interesting and the performances good, the fact this is a Weinstein Company Film made it hard to watch, especially with the totally unnecessary nudity and sex scenes that put Kirsten Dunst at its forefront. The film lacked a clear resolution and was left completely open ended like the case of Katie Marks, which is understandable, however not when it comes to making a good film.

Score: 6/10

Borat (2006) as seen on Amazon Prime

After finding the second Borat film to be highly entertaining, I decided to watch the first one and was certainly not left disappointed. The first Borat film introduces us to Kazakstan reporter Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) and his first visit to America, whilst taking in all the americanisms to report back to his own country. Soon his pursuit turns to Pamela Anderson whose doing a book signing across in California. The comedy has many jaw dropping moments and sees Cohen above and beyond the boundaries of comedy to bring the character of Borat to life.

Score: 10/10

Boy Erased (2018) as seen on Sky Cinema 

If there’s one film worth watching on this list, it’d be Joel Edgerton’s Boy Erased. This film is the product of a real understanding of film language and the ability to make a beautiful and heart felt story. Edgerton is a well known actor, but has taken time to go behind the camera as well as in front of it in this Golden Globe nominated picture starring the likes of Lucas Hedges, Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, Troye Sivan, Xavier Dolan and Joe Alwyn. Like HELLO if that cast isn’t making you immediately turn off this site right now to find Boy Erased, then I don’t know what will. The film based on a true story follows Jared Eamons (Lucas Hedges) and his time spent at a gay conversion centre with fellow homosexuals Gary (Troye Sivan) and Jon (Xavier Dolan). Jared’s father (Russell Crowe) is a pastor he and his wife (Nicole Kidman) take their religion rather seriously, which is why Jared has been forced to seek help for his sexuality. It’s a hard concept to swallow, especially in this day and age when most parents, religious or not, are starting to become more acceptable of their children’s sexuality. This film exposes the reality beyond that and how some parents feel their child is damaged by something completely normal and feel the need to seek help for it. Boy Erased is made with sensitivity and beautiful acting from an a class cast. All round, it’s a perfect film.

Score: 11/10

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) as seen on Amazon Prime

I was a little confused starting this film to see it in Swedish, as I thought I was watching the David Fincher film of the same title. However, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was original a book and the first adapation of it for film was directed by Niels Arden Oplev, two years before Fincher made his version, starring Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig. However, the fact that this version was in Swedish didn’t detract from the thrilling story spun onto screen. The three hour movie follows a journalist whose been hired to solve the mystery of a missing girl who is part of a high profile family. A young female hacker who once hacked the journalist and practically ruined his career, joins him along the way and the pair of them uncover a long string of untold secrets that see blood being split amongst numerous women. It’s one of the best thrillers I’ve ever seen and a must watch if you enjoyed Fincher’s version.

Score: 10/10

Still Alice (2014) as seen on DVD

A highly anticipated film on my part, Still Alice is an arresting and moving film about a mother struggling with on set Alzheimers. Julianne Moore scooped up a Best Actress Award at the Academy Awards in 2015, a Golden Globe and a BAFTA for her performance as Dr Alice Howland and her battle with Alzheimers at the age of 50. Kristen Stewart plays her daughter and Alec Baldwin her husband and their performances are equal to Julianne Moore’s. Overall, this was a touching piece that had soooo much depth to it and yet carried a satisfying simplicity throughout it. 

Score: 10/10

Enemy (2013) as seen on DVD

I heard about Enemy’s synopsis via a YouTube video and was throughly excited to watch it on hearing it was directed by Denis Villeneuve, a master director when it comes to thrillers and sci fi films. Even though Enemy was difficult to fully interpret, I still enjoyed the story and performance Jake Gyllenhaal brought to the table as a man who meets another man that looks exactly like him. There’s some pure mind fuckery that plays throughout the film as you’re left questioning who is this other man or if there are even two men at all. If anything, it’s an exploration of a man having a double life, wrapped up in some sinister secrets and tied between two women. All of Denis Villeneuve’s work is exceptional and Enemy is no different. A must watch for thriller lovers. 

Score: 10/10

A Star is Born (2018) as seen on DVD

Bradley Cooper’s A Star is Born certainly wins the award for making me cry the most this month. The last version I saw of this film starred Judy Garland and James Mason and was centred around a musical actress and the rocky relationship she had with her actor husband. That 1954 version possessed a lot of brilliance and it was easy to compare it to the more modern version starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. Who would’ve thought these two could be such an authentic on screen couple? The songs, the lyrics and the acting that these two brought to this picture was on another level, it was incredible from start to finish. Obviously the fact that this film had been done 4 times before honed the quality of the film, however Bradley Cooper’s direction and ability to bring out the best in Lady Gaga definitely makes this version of A Star is Born the best one yet. This directorial debut was nominated for 8 Academy Awards including Best Picture and Lady Gaga was handed the award for Best Music for a motion picture. Warning: you will cry whilst watching this or at least afterwards. 

Score: 12/10

Sorry to Bother You (2018) as seen on Netflix

Netflix certainly came through this month when it put Boots Riley’s fanatical dark comedy Sorry to Bother You on its streaming service. It’s honestly like nothing I’ve ever seen before and the innuendo and hidden messages within this film make it something that you can watch several times and never get bored of. Cassius Green (Lakeith Stanfield) gets a job as a telemarketer who gets promoted to a “power caller” and through pride and greed, ends up abandoning his ideologies and friends completely. The film speaks for the gentrification of Oakland, California and capitalistic society we live in today. There are many hidden messages amongst the film that at first are hard to decipher, but soon you realise these messages are as clear as day within our own society. Lakeith Stanfield stars alongside Tessa Thompson, Steve Yeun and Armie Hammer, not a cast you’d usually put together but one that certainly worked. Sorry to Bother You is highly entertaining and will definitely make you laugh out loud at points and have you questioning your laughter right after.

Score: 10/10

The Florida Project (2017) as seen on DVD

I’m starting to think that films made between 2017 and 2018 are some of the best ever made and the Florida Project falls into that. I heard about this film through one of my favourite actors and was glad for the recommendation as this film is one of the best I’ve seen all year. The colours and character dynamics are strong and vivid throughout, as we follow the lives of people living on an apartment complex whilst speaking for the child poverty that plagues American society today. Willem Dafoe, who plays the complex’s handy man and security guard, even earned himself a Best Supporting Actor Award at the 2018 Academy Awards. 

Score: 10/10

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind (2014) as seen on DVD 

Usually I’d pass on a Charlie Kaufman film, seeing as they make no sense, however I felt that it was time I delved into this cult classic starring Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood. It’s a really well made film with a clear and distinct message to it that’s represented in some phenomenal filmmaking techniques. The plot line of this film follows a man trying to erase a past lover and his memories of her get wiped away physically before your eyes on screen. This film is certainly a conversation starter and one I’d recommend to just about anyone. 

Score: 9/10

Moonrise Kingdom (2012) as seen on DVD

Wes Anderson’s wonderful mind is depicted in this endearing narrative about two children running away from home. This has to one of Wes Anderson’s most iconic films and next to The Grand Budapest Hotel, it’s definitely one of the films you think of when you think of Anderson’s work. His work is known for having well rounded stories, beautiful shots and A List casts, with Moonrise Kingdom being no expection as Anderson manages to squeeze Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Jason Schwartzman, Harvey Kietel and a young Lucas Hedges into this film. If you’ve seen any of Wes Anderson’s work and not Moonrise Kingdom, get on it now. No, seriously, now. 

Score: 10/10 

Jarhead (2005) as seen on DVD

Sam Mendes’ war film starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie Foxx translates the lives of US soldiers in Iraq onto screen and the brain washing their government has done to boost the importance of the US military and the service soldiers are doing to their country. Jake Gyllenhaal’s execution in this film is a reflection of his ability as a great actor. He always has this patient and gritty approach to his work that makes him addicting to watch on screen. There’s an entire video on YouTube about Jake Gyllenhaal’s eyes and the way they communicate his emotions on screen. This is certainly present in Jarhead, as the anger, frustration, disappointment and despair is held within Jake Gyllenhaal’s eyes throughout. Jarhead was originally a memoir written by a US solider named Anthony Swofford. The only thing I wasn’t a fan of was the open ended resolution to the film and the stagnant progression of Jake Gyllenhaal’s character. He literally didn’t achieve anything, which I suppose is the point of the film and how the honour that soldiers who went to Iraq were supposed to feel, is more of a fantasy than a reality. 

Score: 9/10 

Silence (2016) as seen on BBC iPlayer 

This film was truly summit else and a refreshing turn on genre from highly acclaimed filmmaker, Martin Scorsese. Silence certainly proved that he has the ability to be more sensitive with his films and can tells stories outside his usual New York mobster type movies. The film tracks the journey of two Portuguese missionaries (Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver) in the 17th Century who go to Japan looking for one of their mentors (Liam Neeson). However in this era, Christians faced persecution in Japan and were practically slaughtered for not following the country’s religion of Buddhism. The priests’ journey is perilous and heart rendering as they are forced to abandon their own religion in order to save their own lives and the lives of others. Despite the film being just over 160 minutes, it’s an inspiring story and one that is told in a tactful way. To believe this is a film is quite hard, as the accuracy of it makes it closer to reality than just a film itself.

Score: 8/10

Lynn + Lucy (2019) as seen on BBC iPlayer 

This film recently came out in UK cinemas and was put onto BBC iPlayer due to lockdown. I found it to be interesting and enjoyed the new perspective it gave to quite a simple story. Lynn and Lucy have been friends for almost their entire lives, and when Lucy’s baby boy dies in unexplained circumstances, it drives a wedge between her relationship with Lynn, as people in their neighbourhood accuse her of being a child murderer. Eventually, Lynn stats to believe the rumours herself, leaving her best friend behind and favouring the opinions of those who hardly know her. A great debut and British film, Lynn + Lucy is profound story of friendship. 

Score: 8/10

Revolutionary Road (2008) as seen on Netflix 

Revolutionary Road has a metric score of 60% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I find quite offensive as the film nearly falls into the “thanks but no thanks” category of films. Directed by Sam Mendes and starring Kate Winslet alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, I don’t see what’s not to like. I only clocked halfway through the film why DiCaprio had been cast with Kate Winslet (Titanic, duh) and it made their on screen chemistry more prominent for me. I always say this about EVERY SINGLE Leonardo DiCaprio film I watch, but his performance in this was unreeeaaal. His character went somewhere intense and never returned, making the hardship on screen 10 times more powerful. There’s a scene where him and Winslet’s character are in a full blown argument and DiCaprio’s rage was on another level. Incredibly authentic and honest, Revolutionary Road showcases a wonderful example of when two masterful actors come together to make something great. 

Score: 10/10

Hillbilly Elegy (2020) as seen on Netflix 

Hillbilly Elegy recently got torn to shreds by critics as it was released on Netflix the other week, and I half agree with what most are saying about it, but also feel there’s unnecessary criticisms about this film. The film is based on a memoir of a Yale Law student, J.D Vance (Gabriel Basso) who comes from rough beginnings and ends up building the life he so desired from a young age. His mother (Amy Adams) is a destructive drug addict who’s moods change frequently so that she’s constantly at war with her own mother (Glenn Close) and two children (Haley Bennett and Gabriel Basso). The story follows J.D’s return to his home town to claim his mother from a hospital after she over dosed on heroin. The only problem is, he has an interview with a law firm from Washington the following morning and has to choose between taking care of his mother and landing his dream job. Sounds pretty intriguing, right? And it truly is. The film is laced with conflict and great performances from everyone, however critics have blasted this film with hate, saying that it doesn’t ring true to the entire American experience of living in poverty, without healthcare and enough money to bring food to the table. The fact that J.D made it to Harvard and now works for a successful enterprise somehow detracts from his struggle as a child, which I think is complete BS. I think this film should be taken for more face value than as a political story. It’s a straight talking, rags to riches tale that proves with hard work and dedication, you can transform your struggles into success. One critic had the audacity to say that “Selling out your origins is a kind of white trash cosplay because you were lucky enough to get out”. The irony of this is that the critic herself is white and it suggests had JD been a person of colour, it’d made a better film, which isn’t the kind of world where I want to live in when stories of people of colour are used as poverty porn rather than something to enjoy or learn from. My only criticism of this film would be the pace of conflict within the film and how things went from 0-100 waaay too quickly. This can happen in real life, but on screen it tends to look sloppy and rushed.

Score: 9/10 

And that’s it! A rather short list for this month, but as the year draws to a close, I’m just really excited for the new films hopefully hitting screens next year. Seen you soon!