#dyn: nat x jackie
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lingeringscars 10 months ago
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Nat and travis as the last ones to get back when Jackie's outside. Nat and travis as the last ones to get back when they're preparing to cremate jackie. Nat as the one to stay outside all night. Nat as the one to carry her bones, saying no to travis. Nat as the only one after shauna to say goodbye.
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lingeringscars 2 years ago
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Nat is not the only one to show guilt or remorse over what happened, but it is so important to me that nat needs to be alone. Nat cannot be around the rest of the girls after this, especially as the last person to eat jackie. She enjoyed it, the way they all did, because it meant that there was food. But she is well aware that Ben did not participate and recently learned that tai did not actively participate either. Nat sits outside the entire night staring at what is left. Nat is the one who brings up needing to do something because the remains (her words) can't just sit there. She needs to bring jackie somewhere else. She needs to say goodbye. She IS the only one we see actively say goodbye after this.
We have a two month time jump. We don't know how everyone reacted to Jackie's death. We don't get to see that. But we do see that they have acknowledged that jackie is dead and shauna talking to her corpse is strange or grief or whacked. It seems like they really haven't been talking about it until two months passed either.
Shauna & nat are the only ones we see saying any sort of goodbye to jackie. I think about that a lot.
Nat needed to take Jackie's bones somewhere. She needed to be alone. She didn't want travis or tai or anyone else to help. She needed to be alone.
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lingeringscars 1 year ago
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Okay the thing about me is like I'm 100000% convinced shauna jackie were in love with each other (and so much more) and that they never, ever would have acted on this. Not pre crash. Not post crash. Not if jackie had survived. Just never.
I also fundamentally believe that jackie and nat were into each other and all of their problems stemmed from this and that they actually Could Have hooked up.
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lingeringscars 9 months ago
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I want to talk about nat & jackie but the thing is I have no idea where to even BEGIN. I just think....team captain just did not mean anything to her. She's one of the people really big on coach Scott and has this really awkward relationship with authority in that she sometimes respects it but mostly does not but Ben has earned a lot of her respect.
And it's not that she cares per se about jackie earning the position, even if she doesn't necessarily think she did. She does understand needing someone who can bring people together in the abstract, but she doesn't think jackie is really that person and doesn't really care about that in the end at all.
Jackie not deserving captain doesn't bother her even though it could. It bothers her when jackie gets paraded as this person with high morals when she thinks jackie is just judgmental. She also sees how insecure jackie is...and that's a lot because most people don't seem to notice or think that about her. Nat won't dig it in deeper but jackie has something to prove. The presidency. Jeff. Homecoming.
She doesn't have people at home that care about her. She doesn't have people that push her to be better. People expect the worst of her, and they expect her to flare out (burnout). She sees the expectations jackie has placed on her as well as she sees the emptiness in her trying to achieve them.
There's just...something about them being two sides of the same coin.
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lingeringscars 1 year ago
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there is something very, very specific about the way shauna & nat understand each other. they've both done things that led to tragedy and because of that....things need to be worth it. shauna slept with jeff and jackie died over it (among other things). javi died in nat's place. shauna marries jeff because jackie dying needs to mean something so she'll mold herself into what jackie would have been. she doesn't get to move on. she stays right there where jackie is. nat and travis make a pact because javi dying has to be worth it. they keep falling back to each other because no one gets it like they do. travis asked for javi's help to save nat. javi screamed for nat's help to save him. nat let him die. that has to mean something. jackie dies and that has to be worth something.
they live while the people around them don't. they do the tasks no one wants, no one is grateful for, and they take the responsibility and the blame. they shoulder that shame. they get it.
do you still know how to do this?
she stared you in the eye and was going to pull the knife.
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