#dw: spoiler from phf

[headoverjojo]

Remember those two Abbaccio and Bruno scenarios in which they are forced to sleep on the same bed with their crush during a mission n stuff? If you aren't tired of writing those, may I get another one but with My Man™ Fugo this time? Panni doesn't get enough love and it makes me super sad.

*Bangs fists on table* I’M ALWAYS UP TO WRITE FOR FUGO AAAA bless you anon :,) And I ABSOLUTELY AGREE there’s not enough love around for Fugo, this is not GOOD- *hugs in Panni’s love*

Pannacotta Fugo and s/o are in love, on mission, they have a discussion about Fugo’s attitude, make out and finally confess

(Under the cut for length and light spoilers from Purple Haze Feedback!)

The exact moment Giorno took the power, Fugo knew he would have been flooded with duties and such. And he wasn’t wrong: Giorno, knowing his smartness and brain, wanted him as his Consigliere. Fugo’s caution and long sight would have been fundamental especially for the first period as Don. Plus, he was a loyal comrades, they had fought together, in the end Fugo came with them, actively betraying the Boss… with Mista as his right arm, Bucciarati as first Caporegime of all Naples and Fugo as Consigliere, he was sure he could do anything to make the organization work even without the drug trade.

However, it was soon clear that Fugo couldn’t do it all alone. Strategies, papers, meetings with the Don, a couple of times he was even called to fight on the field with Don Giovanna and Mista, he had to use his Purple Haze against part of the Squadra Narcotici… still, their leader, Massimo Volpe, was missing. Fugo remembered him well, from the time spent at Bologna’s university… a smart guy. Almost as him. And because of this, Fugo was the only one who could fight Massimo Volpe as equal, both on a brain level, both on a stand level.

In this long period of stress, however, Fugo had one person on whom he could always rely. You accepted to become his right arm and secretary, helping him with papers, meetings and, even if he didn’t like it a lot, on Massimo’s hunting. Not that he didn’t trust you or thought you were weak… he knew really well your strength, both physical and spiritual. He knew it since the moment you joined Passione.

And, from that moment, he saw you grow, become stronger and more determined, ‘till, at just sixteen years old, you openly betrayed the Boss. You were always been friends, in a different way as he was with Narancia: not a big brother-little brother or a mentor/student relationship, but just… friends. He knew he could always rely on you, that you would have listened to his rants when it was all too overwhelming to bear. That you were the only one who could keep up with him when you played chess or talked about various topics. He loved your company, more than anything else. Your friendship was his most precious treasure.

And now, six years later, you were still at his side, with your sharp mind, your humour and the ability, which just you seemed to have, to make him smile even when he was over stressed. In those years of closeness you learned to know each other better and better, to the point to communicate even just with your eyes, when the situation required it. Still… even if you were the person he trusted the most and he never kept something hidden from you, he had a secret that he hadn’t said even to you, since this secret regarded you.

He couldn’t tell you he liked you -no, he loved you. For years he had feelings for you, even if he never let anything slip out -maybe something when you all faced the Boss, he was so near to confess, not knowing if he would have come out alive from that situation. Even at the time he hadn’t been clear, however, and he never touched again the topic, lacking the reckless courage to bluntly confess.

But fate was an ironical being and, as much as he had feelings for you, you had so for him. You liked him since long, long time, even before you fought the Boss. And, staying more by his side, you learnt to know him better, to know the real Fugo. The one who hid behind his rage a deep insecurity and lack of self-confidence, the one who was so scared to follow his heart, ‘cause the only thing he ever knew were loss and betrayal, from his family, who should have protect him, from his professor, who abused him. Logic was his shield, his map to always follow: logic never was wrong. Still, he was brave, for once he was illogic, choosing to follow the team instead of staying back. He chose the heart instead of the brain. You saw how, from that moment on, he slowly started to heal. Some scars would have never left his soul, but… it was getting better. He was getting better. And you realized you loved him, his strong, stubborn personality that could also be so gentle, so kind, the type of kindness he never received, if not only by his grandma, and yet he liked so much to give.

Because of this, the situation was becoming… awkward. He couldn’t watch you without wanting to kiss you and hold you forever in his arms, but he couldn’t. You were his precious friend, the one he treasured so much… he was awkward, dangerous. His stand was a ticking bomb, a perfect incarnation of his spirit. How could he provide happiness to someone? He couldn’t. He couldn’t put you in danger… and you were so just by staying near him.

You noticed this slight changing in his manners, how he was less affectionate, how he almost didn’t hug you anymore… you were hurt. Why was he acting like this? Did you do something wrong? When you asked him, he always said he was fine, that everything was fine. This made you really, really angry. How could he lie so bluntly on your face. How could he think that you would have eaten his lies? Did he think you were stupid or what?

You both were at a standstill, without moving forward or back. It sucked. Still, you worked together. You were friends and no one of you wanted to lose this friendship. You, well.. tried to make things work, ignoring the real feelings of the other. Not that the others hadn’t tried to gently -or not so gently, in Narancia and Mista’s case- push you in each other’s arms… seeing how their attempts ended in nothing done, they just rolled their eyes, with a “you are so fucking stupid” on their mouth.

It seemed it could have gone like this forever, until Giorno called you both in his office. Reports said that Massimo Volpe had been spotted in Genoa and so you both had to immediately go and finally terminate him. You would have met with two Passione members, such Sheila E. and Cannolo Murolo, who would have been part of the squad to take down the last remnants of the Squadra Narcotici.

The travel to Genoa had been silent but not so bad as you both thought, seeing the situation. You quietly read and did some crosswords, on the train, changing it at Florence. It all went smoothly until you arrived at the little bed&breakfast Giorno’s staff had booked for you: one of the two rooms was occupied by the two members you had to meet the following day. They arrived earlier than expected and took one of the rooms, leaving you just one. And you couldn’t even take another one, since all were booked. Fugo was boiling in anger and irritation. It wasn’t a professional behaviour!! Still, you managed to calm him down before he just stormed upstair to kick the two’s ass out of the room, grabbing his arm.

“It’s fine, Fugo. We’ll make it work.” you said, with a small smile that immediately made him come back from his enraged state. Well, if you said so…

He sighed, nodding, taking his and your bag and heading to the room. Well, in the end it could really work… the bed was bigger than expected. Maybe, if you were fine with it, he wouldn’t have had to sleep on the floor.

He didn’t even have to ask so, as you immediately stated aloud his thought. Still, he was a bit agitated: in bed, it would have been harder to resist the urge to hug you, to keep you near…

“Fugo, are you sure to be fine with it?” you asked, eyeing him. He just hummed, answering with an automatic it’s fine that, finally, was the last strand.

“Pannacotta Fugo, stop treating me like a fucking stupid. Do you think I don’t see how you act strangely?! And that no, you’re not fine with it as you were not fine all the times I asked you so! Aren’t we friends?! Don’t I deserve the truth from you?!” you exploded, taking him by surprise. You never got angry at him, as he to you… he did his best to keep his rising anger in line. He didn’t want to scream at you. He really, really, didn’t want it.

“If I say I’m fine, I’m fine, Y/N. It’s not like I’m treating you as a stupid, or I wouldn’t even asked you to work with me. It’s just that isn’t anything wrong.” he replied, trying so hard to keep a plain tone. You gritted your teeth, feeling even insulted by his blunt lies. How dare he?! Lying like this again, even in front of evidences! You neared him, pointing a finger on his chest, looking rightly in his eyes.

“Liar.” his eyes widened slightly, hearing such a word leaving your mouth. You what…?

“How dare you to say such things, Y/N-” he growled, but you gaze didn’t falter, as your stance. If he wanted to unleash his rage at you, well, welcome. You were more than ready to kick his ass to Saturn and back.

“Oh, it bugs you so much, Fugo? Then shut my mouth, if you have the courage.” you replied, sharp, crossing your arms. And maybe it was how you worder the sentence, maybe his need has reached his highest peak… but he shutted your mouth, in the end. With his.

You widen your eyes, when his lips touched yours. The kiss was right like Fugo: a bit aggressive, even bruising, but that hid insecurity, desire to be returned. And oh, you returned it, unleashing the affection and desire you held for so much, sinking your hands in his soft sand hair, kissing him back with the same intensity that he was using.

You were so happy right now. You… you never thought he actually had feelings for you. You were already resigned to live a one side love with no happy ending, but… but now that happy ending seemed so near…

And it crashed right a little after, as he harshly pulled back, his eyes blown out, his breath raspy and agitated. You swallowed, as he took a couple of steps back. Your heart broke at every step.

“W-we can’t- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, I-” he stuttered, panic clearly visible in his eyes. He went too far, did he ruin everything? You were too precious to stay by his side. You were in danger and he couldn’t bear the thought…

“We- we should sleep. Yes. Sleep.” he muttered, hastily taking off his shoes and jacket and heading to bed, still in his trousers and shirt, laying down and nervously giving you his back. You just stared at it, at how he was hugging his torso, sinking his nails in the fabric, the slight tremble on his form…

He was scared.

You finally understood why he was holding back so much. His issues, his self-hatred… his stand. You knew that he thought he was worthless of everything good in this world, but you thought he was out of it. It wasn’t so, obviously.

He didn’t feel worthy of you. He was scared to hurt you, that his Purple Haze could accidentally kill you. He was protecting you, from his point of you, from an unhappy existence and a possible agonizing death.

But, doing so, he was hurting not only you, but himself too. And you couldn’t bear the thought of him suffering again, not after what he passed. He deserved to be happy and loved as everyone else.

And you wanted to make him feel so.

So, you slid into bed too, turning off the light. In silence, you stared at his back, his nails still sunk in the shirt, the light distressed tremble that shook his body. Slowly, slowly, as not to startle him, you neared his form, gently sliding your arms around his middle. He jolted, but didn’t move again, holding his breath.

“I know, now, why you did this.” you murmured, pressing your forehead on his back, breathing in the scent of clean and soap of his shirt. He turned a little his head, fear and stress still in his eyes but, now, with a bit of curiosity.

“You wanted to protect me, didn’t you? After all these years, you still are sure to be dangerous, not to deserve love… you don’t see the light in you. Fugo… Panni. You’re a good person, one of the bravest I’ve ever met. You lived through so much betrayal and hate… but here you are. A kind, good person. Your stand… Purple Haze doesn’t reflect who you are. It reflects what you had to suffer. The rage and the pain and the silence. But you… you are different. You are sweet, kind, you try to become a better person every day… How could a person like this not deserve love, Panni? You deserve it. You deserve to be loved and cherished every single day of your life. A-and… if you want it… I’d like to be the one who does so. I love you, Pannacotta Fugo.” you said it all in one single breath, knowing that, when it was finished, your courage would have gone with it. You stayed silent, then, waiting for him with a galloping heart. What if you had just misunderstood everything? What if he was going to reject you? What if-

You shutted down your thoughts, when Fugo turned to watch you. Even in the dark you could see his stunning violet eyes, now open wide, full of wonder, surprise… they were warm and incredulous. It seemed too beautiful to be real.

You lowered your gaze, as your guts twisted. You felt incredibly shy, now that your bravery was all gone with your confession…

His hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb stroked your soft skin. You lifted your head a bit, in time to softly bump the tip of your nose on his. You lost yourself in his violet eyes, so beautiful, so intense. Now they were even a bit glossy.

“You really don’t fear me? You’re not disgusted by me or my stand or what happened to me?” he murmured, almost lost. Your heart clenched, hearing the utter vulnerability in his words and you nodded, grabbing gently the hand he place on your cheek, softly caressing its back.

“I’m not scared by you or Purple Haze, Panni. And what happened to you… it wasn’t your fault. I’m disgusted, yes, but not at you, but at who did you those horrible things. You have no fault. You are innocent.” you said, staring in his eyes, as in yours too, now, were pooling tears. He looked at you with stupor and wonder, amazed that someone could really think something like this about him. So… this is what you felt when you were loved? This was the warmth and joy you felt when you allowed yourself to drop your walls?

He closed his eyes, when you brushed your lips on his. He leaned in, gently, kissing you back, brushing your cheek with his thumb and sliding then his hand on your nape, to keep you closer. His mind was in a total race, as his heart: he couldn’t believe it… so much happiness wasn’t something for him. But yet here you were, saying him that he deserved it, as everyone else, that you were ready to give it to him… it was so much. He… he had to say it. He had to say it now, in this perfect moment.

“I love you, Y/N.” he murmured, catching his breath, when the kiss broke to allow you both to breath. You blinked, baffled, before sweetly smiling, your eyes glossy with happy tears.

“Thank you, Panni.” you murmured, kissing him again and again, basking in his warm arms and caresses, feeling, finally, happy. Complete.

And now you both could face Massimo, Fugo’s greatest enemy, with a new strength.